August 13, 2005

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I have one question to ask Jason Block this week.
Jason: Which is?
Gordon: Did you bring the white mice?
Jason: For the Doppler?
Gordon: Yes.
Jason: Yes I brought the mice...you emailed 4 times, called me twice and paged me at work.
Gordon: Just checking.
Jason: I got the mice.
Gordon: Ok. Set up the catchphrase, Chico.
Chico: Setting up catchphrase. Ahem... "I'm Chico Alexander and from somewhere in America, We Love to Interrupt... is on!"
Pierre: Awww Yeah!
Jason: And next week...in front of a live studio audience!
Chico: Yay!
Pierre: W-O-R-D Up!
Jason: Did we get clearance to bring the Doppler into the hotel?
Travis: Sure did.
Chico: I hope so. I'm mailing it bulk. And you know how expensive that is.
Travis: But there's gonna be something better than the Doppler this week.
Jason: Uh oh.
Travis: More to come when the Jackets come out.
Pierre: The TSR-80 from last week?
Gordon: I hope we won't need it again this week.
Chico: We'll get to Geek Antiques later, but first, introduction of geeks. We have the Trivia Geek, Jason Block...
Jason: Thank you...and I have started packing...and trying to get everything in one bag.
Gordon: Which isn't going to happen.
Chico: That makes one of us :-)
Mike: Packing is the least of my worries right now. The septic tank's acting goofy, which means I can't wash clothes. No clean clothes = who wants to be near me?
Pierre: I will (raises hand).
Chico: Uhh... moving on, we have TPIR board game geek Travis Schario.
Travis: Thanks so much. And I've finished my packing already.
Chico: That makes two of us. I'm beginning to think I should start packing.
Next up, the resident math geek, Mike "Mr." Klauss...
Mike: VH1 doesn't know a thing about the best week ever. The best week ever (IMHO) starts when I fly out to LA at 11 AM Wednesday.
Jason: (applause)
Chico: 11am? Lucky. You get to sleep in.
Mike: It's the earliest flight out of Cleveland Hopkins.
Chico: Of course, you'll miss Jeopardy!, but you know...
Mike: I'll be there for What's My Line?
Chico: Ah. Cash money.
Mike: My flight arrives literally minutes before Jeopardy! starts. Our good buddy (and apparently absent buddy) Jason Hernandez said he got reservations. Reservations for myself, him, and a few others, that is. The theater holds 99 people. If you don't have reservations, get them ASAP.
Chico: Okay, so how do you get those reservations?
Mike: Reservations can be made by calling 323-525-0202. For more information, visit http://www.jkeith.net/
Jason: GSC in da house.
Chico: And finally, we have our newbie of the week, the sports geek, Pierre Kelly. Speech!
Pierre: Oh Yeah! The So You Think You Can Dance Top 16 are up and by Wednesday, it's on like Robotron.
Gordon: I got tickets for SYTYCD in LA, BTW
Pierre: Sweet!
Gordon: So why isn't Pierre going to GSC?
Pierre: I'm just staying at home to see your live WLTI show next week.
Gordon: That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard. BOO The Rookie!
Chico: Heh...
Jason: BOOOOOOO
Gordon: Boooo
Jason: Hissssssssssss
Travis: Boo
Pierre: Y'all calm down!
Mike: Wait for the exclusive WLTI Gone Wild footage, available on the web site for a small fee sometime in September.
Travis: WLTI Gone Wild. I better not drink all that much, then.
Mike: Who needs alcohol? :-P
Chico: *raises hand*
Mike: To go wild, that is
Pierre: I don't.
Gordon: The scary thing is that none..ahem...most of us don't need alcohol to go wild.
Pierre: Right on, Gordie.
Chico: True dat.
Jason: Caffeine!
Pierre: Vanilla Pepsi
Mike: As long as I don't get stuck with Chico's tab...
Chico: But enough about my rampant drinkage. Let's get the party started with a cup of sweet revenge, served hot on Thursday with the return of King Kaysar into The House of Les & Julie's Love.
Pierre: What up Kaysar!
Jason: 82% of the vote.
Pierre: Total Domination!
Chico: You can't buy numbers like that. I mean, we all knew that Michael didn't have a hope in hell, and Eric wasn't going to get that much of a vote because of Ivette's loud mouth, but 82%... Wow.
Pierre: Wow is right.
Chico: Not even the most popular President in history got those kinds of numbers.
Gordon: The audience is happy to see Kaysar get into the house. The audience has to be less than thrilled to see Jennifer win HOH.
Chico: Now the question remains: Kaysar is given a second chance. What does he do with it?
Pierre: Go all the way like Chris Berman.
Gordon: Hopefully, he'll learn that to stay in the house, he has to make nice-nice with the people in the house.
Chico: I think he did make nice... until he got the HOH. Then it all went to (^_^) from there.
Gordon: As for his longevity, I'm not too sure. He made a deal with Jennifer to back door James - if she would put up Beau and Ivette. Who did she put up instead? Rachel and Janelle.
Chico: Wait, I think I know where Jennifer is going with this. IF she's playing the game clean herself. Remember the five-finger plan from last year?
Gordon: The idea was to put up everyone from their alliance, then get the veto and then backdoor in the person who they really wanted to see go. They already did it earlier on this year with Eric.
Chico: I think we're going to see a reprise. But again, it's early, and I only know so much.
Gordon: The problem is that with those two being put up, James will actively campaign to get one of the spots to win Veto.
Chico: They could do it again and get away with it. As we saw on Tuesday, we're not exactly dealing with the brightest bulbs in the bunch.
Pierre: dim bulb go boom!
Chico: Case in point: Sarah, whom James played like a fiddle. Next thing you know... (TPIR losing horns) Bye bye.
Gordon: We'll see, but everyone in the house knows that Kaysar clearly can't be trusted, and I don't see him lasting very long.
Chico: I see jury at least.
Gordon: Well, being that there's only 1 more non-jury spot left with James's name on it, Jury is looking pretty good.
Chico: .. yep.
Gordon: Speaking of Juries, the verdict came in yesterday for one - and the verdict is...not guilty of doing the horizontal Macarena with an American Idol contestant.
Jason: That's the horizontal mambo
Chico: The horizontal bop.
Travis: No, in this case, I think Macarena is apropos
Pierre: I was thinking vertical on that one.
Chico: Vertical thinker :)
Gordon: The American Idol arbitration jury has cleared Paula Abdul of any wrong doing against Corey Clark.
Chico: Second season sister-beater who said that Paula Abdul was coaching him behind closed doors... among ... other ... activities.
Pierre: ...and the ABC Fallen Idol special proved that...
Chico: Actually, it proved that ABC will do anything for ratings.
Travis: Well, duh.
Jason: We knew that 4 months ago during may sweeps.
Mike: I saw that Corey Clark's 15 minutes in the spotlight just ran out.
Chico: Yep.
Pierre: tick...tick...tick...(Boom!)
Gordon: So after all that, the Idol Jury determined that Paula did nothing wrong. Will we be seeing Lawsuits start flying from Paula's camp?
Pierre: not quite.
Jason: Nah.
Mike: I don't think the timing is right.
Chico: Well, she's got nothing to lose at this point. What will you bet that Corey extends this story for just a bit longer?
Jason: A little...but it will be laughed at.
Pierre: Nope, not this time.
Mike: I think Corey could extend this longer, but it would not be great PR.
Gordon: Maybe he'll whine about that he was withholding...whatever.
Mike: Beating the proverbial dead horse.
Chico: AS if he didn't do it already?
Pierre: (neigh) (BANG) (Plop.)
Mike: Paula Abdul's just an old nag. She's hardly dead.
Chico: No, you're talking about Simon now :)
Mike: You got me, DAWG. Do you guys have any reports about the number of people who have tried out for season 5 thus far?
Jason: Auditions starts this Thursday.
Mike: I would venture to say that this Corey Clark incident will not kill AI's popularity, both among viewers and potential contestants. Heck, it might be nothing more than a little mosquito bite.
Chico: Nope. Not by a longshot, and AI6 is already in planning stages.
Mike: Are there any auditions while we're in LA? I'd like to do my rendition of The $1.98 Beauty Show winner's serenade for Simon.
Chico: So, yeah... Whatever Corey.
Pierre: See, AI's is not about jumping the couch, it's wildly popular. As for that serenade, Mike, please don't.
Mike: I might surprise you guys on the live show.
Gordon: AI hasn't jumped the shark. Simon Cowell's new project, however, has sees his shark get sued.
Chico: Wouldn't be a news week without a lawsuit :)
Pierre: Million Dollar Idea?
Chico: Yep. I got this one. Simon's Million Dollar Idea is getting sued because apparently a local broadcaster had the idea (and the program) first.
Gordon: They are being sued by a group who claims that their 'Million Dollar Idea' TV show is being shown un 125 stations all around the US.
Chico: Pretty much. We'll have to see how this plays out. Meanwhile, we have another case of seemingly free money in a bit of a preview for the fall.... As you know, Wheel of Fortune begins this fall with yet another needless change.
Jason: Which one in particular?
Travis: Changes are fun!
Mike: Do we see any new colors of light this year? If inflation is a factor, we should see 1.545 million colors this year.
Chico: We have 1) $1000 house minimum...2) A car for the Wheel Watchers Club....and 3) a new category: Movie Title.
Jason: And the prize is in the first round
Gordon: And a commercial break after the first puzzle.
Chico: And what does all of this amount to again?
Mike: More corporate branding and subliminal advertising.
Gordon: Nothing wrong with that.
Chico: Yeah, but I can see where Mike's going with it. I can see some of this as taking away from the game aspect. Granted, if you take away the prizes and all the gimmicks and what have you, the show's about as thin as it gets... Spin, letter, spin, letter, lather rinse repeat...
Mike: Possibly, but when is enough enough? Now there are at least 3 prizes on the wheel to start the show. Why don't we deck out the wheel with racing stripes and get Pfizer or General Mills to sponsor the wheel?
Jason: Beep beep
Chico: Then it would be Wheel of Shop 'til You Drop :)
Mike: That and I don't want to see a game which appears like an infomercial, pitching 50,000 prizes in 22 mins.
Pierre: Put the XBOX logo as a free spin chip or JP Morgan Chase as a bankrupt space.
Mike: They could bring back Buy a Vowel and have Sylvan Learning Centers sponsor it.
Chico: Ah, to live in the age of the DVR.
Gordon: You could have a broadband speed up round.
Jason: That is what ruined baseball, or organized sports.
Pierre: Like Spider-Man on bases.
Chico: Exactly, Pierre. Where's the line and when do we cross it?
Mike: There's a difference between advertising on sporting items like that, and advertising on TV.
Gordon: A show that isn't going to change a thing? Millionaire, as their first taping date is August 29.
Jason: Millionaire...Go Emmy Winning Host Meredith.
Chico: Yay.
Pierre: Meredith Rocks!
Gordon: Meredith and crew will be there doing their thing with no changes. No new lifelines, etc.
Chico: Stick with what works. Apparently they did something right last season.
Jason: Except a few more corporate sponsors.
Gordon: Last season got them improved ratings and a new contract.
Chico: And an Emmy for the host.
Jason: Wedding Week by the Knot...things like that. Nothing too obtrusive.
Chico: Yeah, not like Wheel at all :). Just enough not to get in the way of business.
Gordon: The difference is that the things that Millionaire does will not affect the game play.
Mike: It's not like the first several months with Regis (when they had lightning in a bottle and one of the best contestants ever....Block somebody), but it's still a very good show.
Jason: if you want to audition and are in the NY area...check out http://www.millionairetv.com - and thank you Mike.
Chico: And speaking of Michael Davies joints... Anyone watching My Kind of Town tomorrow?
Pierre: Yeah!
Travis: I'll check it out.
Jason: Oh yeah.
Mike: I will, since Family Guy is a repeat.
Travis: Family Guy is in repeats till next month, if I'm not mistaken.
Gordon: I'll be watching.
Chico: Anyone think that inheriting the Desperate Housewives slot is going to have an adverse effect?
Mike: From what I've read about the show, it sounds like it might be a great complement to America's Funniest Videos at 8 PM Eastern.
Pierre: You got that right, Mike.
Mike: I don't think it's a great lead-in to MILFfest '05, but they really don't need much help in the ratings department.
Gordon: We'll see if that can wipe the bitter taste of Studio 7 from our mouths.
Chico: Now Studio 7 wasn't that bad... just wasn't that good...
Pierre: I lived for Sheila Shaigany...where is she now?
Chico: ... back into obscurity, $777,000 richer.
Gordon: With that, I think it's time for Jason to apologize to Travis for destroying his Doppler.
Jason: I am sorry I blew up the Doppler.
Chico: With that... Jackets, please!
Jason: (tosses the jackets)
Pierre: (Puts on ESPN '79 jacket)
Jason: Here we go...cue the music!
Gordon: So Travis, do you have the nice new Doppler?
Travis: Get the show started, and I'll introduce you. **Climbs into new device**
Gordon: Nice. Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage.

("Move Closer to Your World" plays: From the four corners of your globe to your frontal love, this is Brainvision News, with Chico Alexander, Jason Block, Gordon Pepper, and the award winning Brainvision News Team.)

Chico: Now with Travis-powered Doppler :)
Travis: **Thp thp thp thp thp** Gentlemen, meet the new Brainvision News Chopper 3 with Keel-Mounted NexRad Doppler Radar.
Jason: So THAT is what he did with his TPIR money.
Chico: How much is this setting us back?
Gordon: Nothing - Jason and Ryan are paying for it.
Jason: Eep.
Gordon: What is the actual retail price of that thing, Travis?
Travis: $3,928,927,343.90
Mike: Who cares about the cost? Is there any backup on the PCH?
Travis: PCH is clear, but there is serious backup around Beverly & Fairfax. Apparently, there's a rush on a model year change.
Mike: I hope Travis used his Super Saver card when he bought that thing.
Jason: Where did you get that from? The US Military?
Travis: I did. Got 9¢ off.
Chico: Good. Now let's see if this works. Do we have our first brainwave?
Travis: I learned to fly this thing the same way Wooldoor learned to fly Buckie Bucks's chopper in the season finale of Drawn Together.
Doppler: *Boooommmpp*

CBS has released the names and faces of the 16 castaways shipped to Guatemala for the 11th incarnation of Survivor.

Pierre: The ex-NFL player will be there.
Chico: Yes.
Mike: Gary Hogeboom!
Jason: Its very interesting though...that I don't see any minorities in this cast.
Chico: Very interesting indeed.
Gordon: Hmmm...Lawsuit!
Chico: Heh. But the big question... Are there 16 or 18?
Gordon: CBS said 18 - then only announced 16, meaning that there are 2 that they didn't mention. Hmmm...I still say that Stephenie and Bobby Jon will be doing SOMETHING on the new Survivor.
Chico: I've seen the living quarters... Gives new meaning to the phrase "Million Dollar Pyramid".
Pierre: or those Temple Guards from Legends of the hidden temple.
Travis: Please. Let there be ONE Temple Guard. Immunity Idol? Hell no. Pendant of Life.
Pierre: Wish Donny Osmond can host that.
Travis: *thp thp thp thp thp* I've got an accident on the 101. Traffic backed up for about a mile.
Chico: Okay, our next blip?
Doppler: *Boooommmpp*

Let's talk RENEWALS! Hell's Kitchen gets one. The Ultimate Fighter got one (and we'll see that debut on that on August 22). Heck even THE CONTENDER gets one, thanks to ESPN. Departing - The Law Firm, after 2 episodes, straight to Bravo.

Jason: Good for UFC and the Contender. Bad for the Law Firm.
Travis: The Law Firm was a bad idea in the treatment.
Chico: Good television.
Pierre: The Law Firm did had Surreal Life-style graphics, but it didn't work for the peacock.
Jason: Apprentice Clone #4,769
Chico: The Law Firm was just another casualty in the even-developing TV gambit... (Rob Schneider) Making COPIES! (/RS)
Pierre: That copy cat Law Firm, it didn't even stand a chance on NBC.
Gordon: Trump's right - everyone DOES want to copy from him.
Pierre: Heck, it was in the time slot the Apprentice was held previously.
Chico: Yep. AS I've said before, I'm PINING for Deal or No Deal at this point.
Travis: So, when will Barker get HIS Apprentice?
Chico: Hmm.. Bob Barker looking for an apprentice.. Now THAT's a clone I can get behind.
Pierre: Wish Doug Davidson had one.
Gordon: Fair enough. Next Brainwave?
Chico: Because we can, we mention supermodels!
Pierre: Like Brandi? And Shane? And Lanisha?
Gordon: Uhhh...not quite.
Pierre: D'oh!
Travis: Those three are super in my book...but go on.
Doppler: *Boooommmpp*

Heidi Klum is a busy supermodel. In December, we have her in the second season of Bravo's hit Project Runway. In the meantime, she heads to Germany to officiate their version of "Top Model"

Jason: And she is about to have Seal's baby.
Pierre: Hedi Klum is now officaly, the German version of Tyra Banks, who has her own talk show this September.
Chico: Oh yeah, she's busy :)
Pierre: Busy like Rosie The Robot. (bing bing)
Chico: Very busy, very Rosie.
Pierre: (bing bing) (bing bing) (Rosie moving sound)
Pierre: I wish she was a Jetson....or not.
Travis: Moving on?
Gordon: I think we need to see some media hos.
Pierre: (as Lil' Jon) Yeah!
Jason: OK!
Chico: *plays Ludacris' "Area Codes"*
Jason: Skeet Skeet
Pierre: Who wanna be in the 3-6-0? Yo, Gordie, where you at?
Mike: I think he's looking for media hos, if not, then just regular working hos.
Doppler: *Boooommmpp*

In this week's Media Ho Report, Janice Dickinson trashes both America's Next Top Model AND The Surreal Life on an interview, Big Brother's Will Wikle gets a TV hosting opportity and The Apprentice's Danny Kastner gets the Queer Eye Makeover.

Pierre: Will Wikle from BB5 getting a hosting gig?
Mike: He hosts a show on LOGO, a travel show.
Chico: Ah. Figured.
Jason: LOGO being a gay oriented cable channel.
Gordon: He's both on FOX Reality and Logo. He's faaaaaaaabulous.
Chico: Next brainwave is dedicated to you, Gordon :)
Jason: Uh Oh
Mike: I think we're looking at a backup of 3 miles on the 101...
Gordon: I can't wait...well...yes I can.
Doppler: *Boooommmpp*

Stump the Schwab is looking for contestants to take on the titular task for season 3.

Gordon: You suck, Chico.
Chico: :) You can head to espn.com for information on how to apply.
Gordon: I KNEW you were going to do that. BAD Chico. No soup for you.
Chico: :-D
Pierre: I'm waiting for the season 1 & 2 DVDs to come out.
Gordon: Bleagh
Mike: Season 3? An ESPN game lasts a third season?
Pierre: 2-minute drill did.
Gordon: There were indeed three tournaments on 2MD
Mike: I stand corrected.
Gordon: I bet you're sitting though.
Mike: For now, yes.
Gordon: So Mike sits corrected.
Chico: The good news: Stuart Scott still has work :)
Gordon: The bad news - so does the Schwab.
Pierre: Can he host without the glasses? I like him without.
Chico: I like him with.
Mike: I cannot stand Stu or Schwab. One is a bad host, IMO. The other has the personality of a rock.
Chico: Hey now... Don't hate on the guy from Carolina =p
Mike: He's better than STEPHEN A. SMITH!
Chico: That's more like it. :)
Pierre: Put Kenny Mayne or Roger Lodge from ESPN's Trivial Pursuit to host.
Gordon: And give the Schwab a lithium treatment.
Chico: Okay, final blip?
Doppler: *Boooommmpp*

Bob Knight has a reality show coming out where he selects a walk-on to play for his Texas Tech squad. The show debuts in February. Does anyone see the glaring fallacy here?

Pierre: No. Unless tossing chairs count.
Chico: Yes... Yes I do.
Mike: The walk-on will likely never play.
Gordon: Besides that.
Jason: Tell us.
Gordon: What is the answer, Mr. Alexander?
Chico: By the time the show ends, we'll be well into March Madness. And it won't matter one lick.
Jason: D'oh.
Gordon: Judges?
Jason: Should have caught that.
Gordon: (BUZZZZZZ)
Pierre: (Boing!)
Gordon: Close, but not right.
Chico: Okay, what's the fallacy?
Gordon: The answer is, with College Basketball starting in November, and with the TV stations picking it up in January, once the first Texas Tech game is aired, you will SEE who is selected to play even before the show hits the air, assuming that, as Mike says, the 16th player hasn't been cut.
Chico: That, too.
Mike: The person will see no action. The only time I've seen walk-ons play is when games don't count, like when the score is 113-52. In other words, when North Carolina plays Cleveland State University.
Chico: Of course now!
Pierre: 113-52, what is this, the NBA?
Gordon: No if it was the NBA, the score would be 63-42.
Chico: Anyway, that's Brainvision News for this week... shut it down, Travis.
Pierre: Turn it off, pack it up, shut it down, oh no....
Travis: **Landing the chopper**
Pierre: The WLTI chopper has landed.
Chico: Later on, we premiere our newest game, but first, one of our older newest games, Would You Could You. This is WLTI, the best radio show you'll ever read. We'll be back.
Jason: You did pretty well...that's going to be a pain to get to LA.
Travis: I'm flyin' the bad boy to LA. Parking it on top of the hotel.
Jason: Just make sure you clear it with Homeland Security
Travis: No gas tank on BVN Chopper 3. It runs on dreams and starlight.
Chico: Thank you, Willy Wonka :) One quick newsbreak before we head to break. Congratulations to Anthony, winner of Big Brother UK. Giving geeks everywhere the business. Okay, now to the break...

(Brainvision News has been brought to you by What's My Spine? The blindfolded panel has to figure out who the mystery guest is by feeling their back. This week's guest - Quasimodo)

Click HERE to continue