Chico: Hello out there in game show land, I'm Chico Alexander... and I think I said my piece regarding Trista last week. I'm not sorry either :)
Gordon: This is Ryan Sutter, and I'm about to kick your butt.
Joe: ROFLMAO
Chico: Bring it, pretty boy.
Travis: And the smack begins.
Jason: DING DING DING...Ladies and Gentlemen....
Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and from somewhere in America, WLTI...is...on. We have a bunch of different identities on this episode.
Joe: I've been gone for...do I WANT to count how many episodes? And they're still talking smack.
Chico: It's what we do best.
Joe: :-D
Chico: First up, the latest employee of the California Gaming Authority, Big Joey Numbers himself, Joe Van Ginkel.
Joe: !SALUTE!
Jeff: Congrats.
Jason: Nice job.
Joe: Thank you. I'm glad to finally be gainfully employed at last.
Jeff: Always a plus.
Gordon: Now that California just joined The Big Game, can you rig the lottery for us?
Joe: ROFL.
Chico: Second, a man who likes wearing his wife's mask, Jeff Suchard.
Jeff: Hello all. But her panties are binding my crotch.
Joe: EWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Jason: WOW!
Travis: I second that... WOW.
Chico: That... was a little too much. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
Joe: Yeah, really.
Gordon: Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Chico: Third, a man who knows his way around a board game, Travis Schario.
Jason: (applause and TPIR Dings)
Travis: I thank you, Chico.
Chico: And finally, the not-undefeated-but-about-as-close-as-you-can-get welcomer of all challengers, 95.5 PLJ's Jason "Beat the" Block.
Gordon: And a person who will have his audition for the new Ken Jennings's show in... never.
Jeff: [polite applause]
Travis: [golf clap]
Jason: You had to bring that up, Gordon.
Joe: ROFL
Gordon: Forever and ever, Amen
Jason: Thank you Randy Travis.
Chico: We'll get right to the matter at hand, which is the week that was. First up... Who wants to do something with a celebrity?
Jason: I do...but I can't say it here.. damn...
Chico: G-rated, you pervs.
Jeff: Ooh, me! Can I pick Angelina Jolie?
Jason: Get in line, Jeff.
Chico: I know how y'all's minds work.
Travis: I do.
Chico: Not that I blame you or anything.
Travis: I want to go bowling with Marc Summers.
Jason: LOL! Good one, Travis.
Travis: Well, it's true.
Jason: Does he bowl?
Travis: Actually, I don't know. Perhaps.
Chico: Well, this question pretty much covers three eras. First, the inexplicable popularity of ABC's Dancing with the Stars... how's it so popular?
Chico: It's one of ABC's top draws right now.
Jason: 1) Non-summer show. 2) Simple concept well executed. 3) Tom Bergeron.
Jeff: Every 10-15 years, whether we need it or not, ballroom dancing has an upsurge in popularity.
Travis: Probably for the same reason that "Circus of the Stars" was so popular so long ago. People enjoy seeing celebrities out of their normal environments.
Chico: You know something, you're probably onto something. Remember the swing upswing a few years back?
Joe: I sure do.
Travis: Ah ha.
Chico: Good times.
Jason: Squirrel Nut Zippers, and the movie Swing Kids. And the Brian Setzer Orchestra.
Travis: Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.
Joe: I still have my copy of The Brian Setzer Orchestra's album. BBVD = the band from Big Deal.
Chico: Really? I didn't know that.
Gordon: It also puts celebrities in a different light where they do something that you are used to not seeing them do. The difference is that most of them are doing it well.
Jeff: It's the "Everything Old Is New Again" phenomenon. Things go out of style, everyone thinks it sucked, then they rediscover it. It was popular once for a reason, and people see that reason again.
Jeff: I can't wait for disco revival.
Chico: I can.
Joe: Ditto.
Jason: I can't...go Disco!
Chico: Let's have some of that funk revival, though :)
Joe: WHOO FUNK!
Jason: Barry White, Parliament and MFSB.
Chico: RIP Barry White.
Joe: Word.
Travis: Right on, Joe.
Chico: But let's see... Simple concept... broad appeal.. Tom Bergeron... No one screwing up. Sounds like a winner to me, leading to our next tier...Fox, being... well, Fox, has decided to fast-track "Skating with Celebrities". Well, their so-called "reality break" lasted all but a month, didn't it?
Jeff: I think I'll pass.
Joe: Run Away! Run Away!
Travis: Ditto.
Gordon: Since it's FOX, would they set it up so that if a pair stunk, they would unleash NHL Goon Chris Chelios to cross-check them into the boards?
Jason: I would go for Tie Domi myself.
Chico: Ron Francis, bitches :)
Jason: He was a bad ass on the ice.
Chico: Can you think of an actual Fox ripoff that actually worked?

(Crickets Chirping)

Chico: Didn't think so.
Jeff: I would watch, however, Celebrity Iron Chef.
Jason: That I would watch in a heartbeat.
Travis: Definitely.
Chico: I'd watch Iron Chef anything... but again, that's another show :)
Joe: WHOO IRON...okay that's getting old now.
Chico: Or rather, that's later.
Jason: Strip Iron Chef.
Jeff: LOL.
Travis: Don't fry bacon.
Joe: Iron Chef is one of the best shows out there. It just doesn't get old.
Chico: Once again, Jason has taken me to a dark place.
Gordon: Strip Iron Chef? Only Jason would want to see Mario Batali naked.
Jason: I was going for Cat Cora, dumbass :)
Joe: ROFLMAO.
Chico: Again, later in the show.
Travis: The smack starts up again.
Jason: (SLAP)
Joe: No fun without it, Travis.
Travis: Good point.
Jason: It's all in love. How much lower can we go, Chico?
Chico: Oh, I can think of something... but I won't say it.
Joe: A Deuce!
Jeff: Necrophiliac Bestiality Celebrity Iron Chef maybe?
Joe: ACK
Jason: ewwww
Gordon: The loser has to make love to the dead food!
Jason: Jeff you are one sick puppy.
Jeff: You have to **** the animal carcass before you cook it.
Chico: Okay, Jeffrey Dahmer, let's move along. Back to our third tier of our star-studded opener: this week is the start of Celebrity Charades on AMC. Those who were expecting Jay Johnson in some sort of pivotal role.. will be sorely disappointed.
Joe: Which is...who?
Travis: The puppet-toting host of the first CC who also had a role on Soap.
Chico: He hosted the original 1979 version.
Jason: He did a great one man show here in New York last year...what was the name of it Gordon?
Gordon: The Two and Only.
Joe: Who's helming this one?
Gordon: Bob Balaban is the host, while CHad Lowe is one of the producers.
Joe: Ah.
Travis: Fun stuff.
Jason: This is going to be like "Dinner For Five" meets Charades.
Joe: Interesting.
Jason: And they are playing for charities. Good short burst show.
Chico: Pretty much. And I liked that one episode of Dinner for Five.
Gordon: I'll have to catch the first one, just to see if they can pull it off.
Jeff: If it's just celebrities, it won't last If they have regular folks playing along, it will last longer.
Chico: We all know it won't last. It's only a week-long event. 9p on AMC.
Travis: Should be funny to just look in on. I can't see it going "full time".
Chico: Could work out for the best, because if you have a limited run series, and people see the appeal for it, then there's a chance for another limited run series. Millionaire syndrome, stage 1. As long as it stays at stage 1, then we'll be fine.
Travis: True.
Chico: Moving on, we actually see a second season... of a show... on the WB... that people like!
Jason: Beauty and The Geek.
Chico: Everyone loves the Geek.
Gordon: It's a show that...plays out like a real game show!
Chico: One of the better WB entries.
Jeff: Quite good. But some of the Geeks aren't all that geeky.
Chico: Hasn't supplanted Studio 7 in my book... yet =p
Jason: So you mean Ashton has a game show geek in him :)
Chico: I think everyone has a little game show geek in them.
Joe: Agreed.
Travis: Of course. It's inherent in blood.
Chico: It starts in childhood with sick days watching The Price is Right. Then it's all gravy from there.
Jeff: How did you like the Geek with two nosebleeds during the first episode? I thought it was a myth that geeks got nosebleeds easily.
Travis: Bingo.
Jason: I thought that was an anime thing...the nosebleeds :)
Joe: So did I.
Chico: Yeah, I thought that was a bit weird myself... And I haven't seen an anime nosebleed in a while, and we all know how much anime I watch on a regular basis.
Joe: I'm a Tenchi Muyo fan myself.
Chico: Old school or GXP?
Joe: Old school. OVA and Universe.
Chico: Old school :) Heh.
Gordon: As Chico and Joe puts the rest of us to sleep, I'd like to ask you about 60's theme songs.
Chico: Quiet...
Jeff: Um....Courtship of Eddie's Father, and stuff like that?
Chico: Yeah, speaking of funk. It seems like the more reality shows we get into, the more 60s themes we hear.
Jeff: Examples?
Chico: Let's see, we all know about "For the Love of Money" from the O'Jays ...
Jason: "You can't always get what you want" from the Rolling Stones from the Cut.
Chico: And then, The old Ohio Players standby... "Fire" from Hell's Kitchen. Which got me thinking, what could possibly be next? I present: the Big Board. Subject: Name That Theme Song. Basically, you give an old pop standard a new life for an upcoming series. This is just mindless happy fun, so...
Gordon: For example, for the upcoming NBC Sci-Fi underwater show Fathom, could I suggest Barnes and Barnes Fish Heads?
Jeff: "Aqualung" by Jethro Tull: Gameshow of Underwater Treasure Salvage.
Chico: Haven't heard Hall & Oates's "Private Eyes" on Big Brother yet :)
Joe: How about "Luck Be A Lady," for a new version of "High Rollers?"
Chico: And where's "The Gambler?"
Travis: For any new Poker show.
Jeff: Hall and Oates "Maneater" for any dating show.
Jason: Yup.
Gordon: For What's My Line's Mystery Guest round, what about Men At Work's 'Who Can it Be Now?'
Chico: Maybe if MTV had a new game based on WML. And Rockwell's "Somebody's Watching Me"... now wait! That's Big Brother right there!
Travis: For the finals of "Dancing with the Stars," I submit "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats.
Jeff: "Turn, turn, turn" for WOF.
Gordon: Weird Al's 'I Lost On Jeopardy' for...well... you know.
Travis: Damn. Gordon beat me to it.
Chico: Of course. Heh. Well, we had our happy fun, now time for something... a little cerebral.
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage.
Jason: want the jackets?
Gordon: Sure
Chico: Jackets!

*Move Closer to Your World plays: From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe... This is Brainvision News! With Chico Alexander, Jason Block, Gordon Pepper, and the award-winning Brainvision News team...*

Travis: (insert Cheesy Teletype sound here)
Chico: With apologies to the city of Philadelphia.
Jeff: I'll update you from the Weather-Maker 3000.
Jason: (in cheesy announcer voice) What is our first news story this week?
Jeff: Now with Doppler.
Gordon: We start with Ken Jennings and his new show.
Travis: (echoing) Doppler...Doppler...Doppler...

They are STILL looking for people to help with the runthrus. If you are going to be in the New York area in the summer and want to test out the show, e-mail them at casting@embassyrow.com

Jeff: Personally, I think all the Ken Jennings Losers should get an automatic spot on this show.
Jason: I agree.
Chico: Yupe.
Gordon: Works for me =)
Chico: You'd have enough of your runthroughs there.
Jason: And the guys who beat them at the personal appearances.
Joe: Agreed.
Jeff: yep
Gordon: Come on over and try out, Jeff
Jeff: I'll tryout for the actual show. Too far to go for just a runthru
Gordon: Next?

The Cut is getting the Move... Starting in July, we see Tommy and co. at 8p on Wednesdays. Now there is actually a pre-planned move to spur this on. That being... Big Brother in the coveted Survivor spot.

Joe: Big Blah-ther.
Travis: With Mrs. Moonves.
Jeff: Big Brother is Survivor for wimps.
Chico: With the Super Julietron 6000...
Joe: ROFL.
Chico: Think of her as Rei Ayanami from Eva (warning, that rant may contain spoilers).
Jeff: ...now with Doppler so you can tell if the contestants are walking TOWARDS you, or AWAY from you.
Joe: ROFL
Jason: The Cut deserves to move. Not a Thursday show.
Travis: The Return of Doppler.
Chico: You think this will make the audiences explode?
Travis: Doubt it.
Chico: Okay, sell the Doppler, while Gordon gets the next item.
Gordon: It will avoid first run programming, so it has a shot, but I can see this thing settling down there. Next story. How many people have seen Fire Me Please?
Chico: *raises hands*
Travis: I have.

Would it surprise you to know that the 'contestants' aren't who they say they are and are actually "comedians"?

Chico: No, not really.
Jeff: No
Jason: Nope.
Travis: There was a guy on the last one that was a former contestant on the American version of "Distraction."
Jeff: Still a good idea for a show, even if they are 'professionals'
Gordon: Well, if that was the case, when do we get the funny comedians to be on the show?
Chico: In short, the second coming of Skyler Clipner. Shudder.
Joe: Doesn't he have his own show already?
Gordon: Next article?
Joe: ROFL.

Fox has named a host for "So You Think You Can Dance" in its sports/entertainment reporter Lauren Sanchez. Which begs the question... who the hell is Lauren Sanchez?

Joe: Is she hot?
Chico: She's hot.
Joe: Hmm...
Jason: Ok.
Travis: Don't know that person.
Gordon: Is she hotter than Amanda Avila?
Jeff: Why her? Is she a dancer?
Chico: Neither do I. All I know is that she's hot. And she is on "The Best Damn Sports Show Period."
Jason: http://www.oyemag.com/lauren.html
Chico: That's her alright.
Jason: She is on the Fox 11 team in LA as well.
Joe: Aha.
Travis: Not bad. I approve.
Jeff: She's no Ryan Seacrest though.
Jason: LOL!
Travis: Ryan Seacrest is no Ryan Seacrest.
Jeff: But he thinks he is.
Travis: Well, true.
Chico: Good luck, Lauren! Okay, Gordon, you're up.
Gordon: Next article...

Bo Bice is quoted as saying that he would prefer to have lost to Carrie Underwood in the American Idol 4 Finals, because he now has more liberty to put in the music that he wants. Accuracy or Idiocy?

Jason: Accuracy!
Jeff: Agree
Travis: Agree.
Chico: Accuracy!
Travis: It seemed to show through when he was on the Daily Show.
Jeff: Almost as much publicity, with less corporate control.
Jason: Bo can be the rocker he wants to be.
Joe: Don't care. He still sings like a damned Basset Hound.
Chico: And he's gonna kick that much more ass for it.
Jason: (howls at the moon)
Joe: I'm sorry. I must be in the minority here, but to my ears, Bo Bice is AWFUL. Positively terrible.
Gordon: I think he's talented and I think he will sell more than enough albums to be able to create whatever sort of music he wants.
Joe: I think yer on crack.
Travis: I agree with that. I don't even like him as a person.
Chico: Joe, I think YER in crack!:)
Travis: Fair enough.
Chico: Okay, I've got one more...
Gordon: Next one?

Iron Chef America has been in production for a second season for some time... Now we have a date... July.

Chico: That's next month. Good times.
Jason: I can't wait.
Jeff: I've only seen Japanese version. I love the dubbing. And again, we need Celebrity Iron Chef.
Chico: Well, the US version is pretty much the same, save for the absence of story lines.
Jason: They took out the story and the death of Chairman Kaga.
Jeff: Pair up Rachel Weisz with Wolfgang Puck, for instance.
Joe: DEATH OF CHAIRMAN KAGA?!?!
Travis: QUOIS?
Jeff: And then they cooked him up in a bechamel sauce.
Joe: What? Who? Where? Hunh?
Chico: I thought he just left the original Kitchen Stadium in his nephew's hand...his Japanese nephew.
Jason: In the last show of the Japanese series, the actor who played Chairman Kaga couldn't schedule his time anymore. So they killed him off eating a bad piece of fugu.
Jeff: Perfect! Poison, poison...tasty fish!
Travis: How very soap opera-ish.
Joe: But Takeshi Kaga is still alive, though, right?
Chico: Yes.
Joe: Okay.
Jason: Very much so.
Joe: Scared me for a second. :D
Gordon: And on that note, the final Article....

Tying everything up in our theme, we have a new dating show coming from the Style Network. The Title of the show? 'Cook Your Way Into Her Pants!' Yes. this is a real upcoming show. Thoughts?

Jeff: Great news!
Travis: Where does one sign up?
Chico: Food... Sex.... Style... I'm in. I'm SO in.
Joe: Hmmm....I'd be on it...if I was cooking for Amy Jo Johnson. :-D
Jason: You have got to be kidding.
Joe: No I'm not. :-D
Gordon: Nope - go to the Style Network Site to cook your way into someone's pants.
Chico: I remember this show back when it was called "Date Plate" =p
Travis: I'm guessing a ham and cheese omelet wouldn't be enough.
Joe: That much is certain.
Gordon: Maybe stick some Ambrosia and oysters with that omelet, Travis =)
Jeff: They always say, "The way to a woman's hootchie is through her stomach."
Joe: ROFLMAO
Jason: I thought it was Spanish Fly, Gordon.
Gordon: Well, that is the drink you serve it with.
Travis: Hmm...ambrosia and oysters...
Joe: I'll stick to Italian, thanks.
Travis: with a side of Spanish fly with just a HINT of Rophynol.
Jason: Oh geez...
Gordon: And with THAT, we end Brainvision.
Jeff: I'll turn the Doppler off.
Travis: (BOOOOOooooooooooooooo)...Doppler powering down.
Jeff: lol
Jason: I'll take the jackets back gentlemen.
Joe: Here.
Gordon: We'll take a break on this VERY punchy edition of WLTI. When we come back, we get even PUNCHIER!
Travis: Cyberspace, you stay classy.
Chico: March Madness and Infiltration after the break on Distract... err, We Love to Interrupt.

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