July 30, 2005
Gordon: This is
Gordon Pepper - and we are less than a month away from GSC4 -
it's PLUG TIME!
Joe: WHOO GSC4!
Chico: Yeah! And I have something to say about that...
Gordon: Go for it
Chico: I'm Chico Alexander, and .. ahem..to spoil Harry Potter...
Gordon: Travis - Doppler Spoiler Field. NOW!
Travis: (Dopper) BooooOOOOOOO
Chico: Ahem.... (Spoiler field) KILLED ... Damn. Forgot about that.
Gordon: (Glares at Chico)
Chico: Now that that's out of my system... From somewhere in America, WLTI is
Gordon: We have a lively bunch with us as we count down to the big conference
coming up. Let's start with the hardest working man on the West Coast, Joe
Chico: The hardest working man in another country, Don Harpwood.
Don: Goooooooooooooood morning!
Chico: And ironically, we're here not to do ANY hard work.
Gordon: We have the hardest working Board Game Show and computer octopus in
Ohio, Travis Schario!
Travis: Greetings, mortals! Octopus?!?
Gordon: You should be an octopus, because it seems like you have 8 hands.
Travis: That's what she said.
Chico: Hoo boy. Better just get started with last week's action, then -
starting with a thing of beauty and a joy forever... The Reign of King Kaysar.
Gordon: Eric had a lot of action. Unfortunately, it's the wrong way, as he goes
from Head of Household to out of the house in 1 week. The reign of Kaysar was
more of a reign of idiocy.
Chico: Okay, now I know you're ornery here... You have to explain this one.
Gordon: Kaysar had a golden opportunity to rearrange the house and get himself
in a strong alliance. Instead, all he's done is piss everyone off and the
'Alliance' that he made was with the people that flip-flop the most.
Chico: Still the best thing I've seen in ages, Big Brotherwise.
Gordon: It's wonderful drama when people act like morons.
Gordon: Kaysar admits that he has never seen the show, and it shows. You NEVER
want to be the leader in Big Brother or take a side, because that's when you get
Don: To be honest, I've got a strange feeling that Kaysar may soon suffer the
same fate as Eric.
Gordon: Kaysar or James is going to be out the door by the end of this week.
Chico: I'm guessing Kaysar, judging on who won HOH on Thursday. That would be
Eric's partner Maggie.
Gordon: This looks like Big Brother 4 all over again, where Allison and Jun went
neutral and skated to the end. Let's look at the people in the house and who's
Chico: If you remember, one alliance is Kaysar, Janelle, Sarah, James, Howie,
Gordon: Yes, with Kaysar, Janelle, James and Sarah are all being Targetted by
Chico: And the other alliance is Maggie, April, Beau, Ivette and Jennifer.
Gordon: With Maggie, Ivette and April being targetted by Kaysar's crew.
Gordon: That leaves, Beau and Jennifer (who are going with the flow), and Rachel
and Howie (who are being courted by both sides). As long as they aren't in
anyone's target, those 4 are going to be around for a VERY long time. Every
year, the people at the end are either neutral or on the outer fringes of an
alliance. We'll switch from evictees to new neighbors. We had 4 shows debut this
Chico: You notice we said four... not two, as previously thought. Seems like
this summer we've been getting some stealth debuts.
Gordon: Let's start with the ones that were more high-profile. #1 - The Law
Chico: Another high-profile failure from David E. Kelley.
Don: I saw the first episode of that one, and I'll probably watch the second,
but after that, I don't know.
Gordon: I was extremely disappointed with David E. Kelley. I wanted to love this
show and I expected a lot from someone who usually thinks outside the box.
Instead, I got 'The Apprentice' in the court room/
Chico: I know what you mean. Brings absolutely nothing to the party. And what
else can you expect from someone to deplores reality TV, even more than Joe?
Gordon: I would expect that at least he'd want his show to do well.
Chico: Oh well. So much for that, as it went over like a lead balloon in the
Don: Another thing that I noted when I watched it.
Chico: What's that?
Don: From what I saw, they seemed to show the preview for the next episode,
which showed who got eliminated, BEFORE the eliminations.
Chico: So Jason and Kelly were eliminated this week... and there was a preview
to that fact beforehand...Oops.
Don: Maybe that was just the station I was watching that did that, though...
Chico: Not the case in our next show, which just had stuff getting blowed up
real good. Master Blasters was on SciFi Wednesdays, 9p ET. Premise: a team takes
on the Master Blasters as they attch rockets to anything and everything. Kinda
reminds me of Junkyard Wars. The Robert Llewellyn/George Gray years.
Joe: :D Fun.
Chico: Joe likes it... :)
Gordon: And the verdict, Chico?
Chico: The Chairman likes it.
Gordon: Sounds good to me. There were 2 other shows that debuted this week. The
first one was on MTV called "Wild'n Out"
Chico: Care to explain.
Gordon: Think of this show as a hip-hop and rap version of Whose Line Is It
Anyway. You have 2 teams of comedians playing - a team consists of a celebrity
and an up and coming comedian. They do improv and rap with real score being
kept. The team with the most points wins. This is, in my mind, what 'Snaps' (a
very short-lived show on HBO) should have been. This was hysterical and I
laughed myself silly. I highly recommend this show - Thursday Nights at 10pm on
Chico: The Chairman agrees.
Gordon: If you like WLIIA and have a rated R mind, you'll love this.
Chico: Guilty =p
Gordon: The last show, which isn't as much a show as it was a 3 day event, was
the 2005 World Championship of Eating.
Joe: Oh Lordee.
Chico: Kobayashi-san will die for your sins. Revere without delay.
Gordon: It's in a 32 man bracket format and the foods include cheese fries,
Italian salad and the dreaded spaghetti. It's, to put it quite nicely, bizarre.
Gordon: It's the same sort of train wreck mentality when it comes to these
shows. Remember Man Vs. Beast? This is the same sort of thing - it's silly but
you feel compelled to watch.
Gordon: Last week, we were compelled to watch Dodgeball, Ballbreakers, and So
You Think You can Dance. Have your opinions of the shows changed this week?
Travis: I've developed an opinion of BallBreakers, since I just watched my first
(the second) episode this week. The Game play is excellent. The side bets, I
believe, really keep the game moving. However, Sal Masi-Masa-Moosa...
Gordon: That would be Masekela
Travis: Yeah, the guy, doesn't really help things much. He talks WAY too much
and says the same things over and over again.
Chico: Well, I would've waited until getting a foothold later before airing a
celeb ep, but still... Good stuff. Same with Dodgeball. Good stuff... And SYTYCD...
good stuff? Just a lot of good stuff around. Has my TV finally imploded upon
Gordon: We have good stuff and we have bad stuff. Call it a peaceful harmonious
balance within the TV force.
Chico: Well, you had more dancing, more krumping, more Nigel-isms. He liked a
dancer so much because he rendered his wife Bonnie (another judge) speechless,
therefore making her easier to live with. So you can be crass bad and crass
Gordon: Speaking of Dancing, Dancing With The Stars just can't stay out of the
Chico: No matter how hard you want it to...
Gordon: This time, it's a pledge from ABC to add a results show after the mass
complained that the wrong person won the competition.
Chico: Goes to show you that if you complain a lot, then stuff happens.
Gordon: But is it for the better?
Chico: Well, I think it'll clear up confusion as to whether or not my vote
counts, but at the same time, it's just 30 minutes of wasted space for a 5
Gordon: American Idol Redux, anyone?
Chico: Yes. Speed Down.
Joe: Oy. Run away.
Gordon: The public ran away from this version of Average Joe, but at least the
series will end on a high note, as a Joe was FINALLY selected. Or was he?
Chico: Or was he? Is that the cranky talking again?
Gordon: Does it really look like a love match? Or was it that Anna didn't like
either of them and just selected the Joe to end the show on a happy note?
Don: I don't know, but I'm just glad that Anna didn't pick the jock.
Chico: Same here. And at least Anna gave a reason. If you ask me, Nathan had
this won with quite possibly the best love note EVER. I mean, why else would she
pick him to reenter the game over "Jesus as a GQ model?"
Gordon: I don't know about that. It didn't look like Anna was too much into
either of them.
Chico: She could've just pulled a Jen in that case.
Gordon: But why pull the Jen and leave the audience in a pissy mood when you can
select the Joe to be friends and send everyone home happy? Note what she tells
the Joe - start as friends and take it from there. Not 'I Love You' or 'I Want
to be with you', etc.
Chico: ... And what's wrong with that?
Gordon: Nothing, if you're looking for people to be friends and play patty cake.
Gordon: The show is about finding LOVE, not friends. Don, will you be my friend?
Don: Um, sure.
Gordon: There. See? Don and I are friends. Now give us millions of dollars and
we'll reenact that on TV.
Travis: If you want to find friends, and you can't find them without TV, you're
in serious need of help.
Chico: Ever heard of "friends with prospects?"
Travis: Friends with prospects never turn out to be anything more than friends.
Take it from the voice of experience.
Gordon: Anna and Joe have as much chance of getting together and being friends
with prospects as Don and I have of getting together and making little Canadian
Chico: ON THAT NOTE, Joe!.... Jackets...now! Gordon wants Don to be his
Joe: Jackets? What jackets?
Chico: The Brainvision Jackets...
Gordon: I have them this week. (gives the jackets)
Chico: Oh. My bad. Travis, the Doppler, please.
Travis: I'll warm it up. boooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Chico: Gordon, the beautiful brain footage, please.
Gordon: Roll that beaitiful Brain Footage.
("Move Closer" plays: From the four corners of your globe to your frontal lobe,
this is Brainvision News...)
Chico: More brain waves than we know what to do with. What's the first?
It's never too early to talk about Survivor. Rumor #1 - returning to the game,
as they never were voted off or quit, is Bobby Jon and Stephenie. Rumor #2 -
Ex-NFL player Gary Heegeboom will be one of the Survivor players.
Joe: Don't care. Survivor = teh suck. :D
Travis: Joe is teh right.
Gordon: Bully to both of you. This is turning out to be a very interesting
version of Survivor.
Don: 2 former Ulongs and a football player. I agree with
Travis: But isn't this Survivor, in a sense, disrespectful to the Mayan ruins?
Chico: Well... Yeah, of course.
Travis: Then why do it, and risk a curse or something?
Chico: My guess, they got the OK by the Guatemalan government. They kinda have
to before they shoot.
Travis: Ah. Greased palms. I get it.
Gordon: If the government is sponsoring it, why not? Besides, Montezuma's
Revenge can be fun to see on national television.
Chico: Only you can tie a game show with feces.
Gordon: There's many shows this Summer that I can tie in with feces
Travis: Next item. Boop.
The 2005 Jeopardy! College Championship has chosen its venue: the RBC Center in
Chico: It'll tape in October for airing in November sweeps.
Gordon: Are you going to be there, Chico?
Chico: I'm going to see if I can't get a press pass... although how hard can it
be, really? And if anyone from the big four in this region is playing, I'll try
to procure them for an upcoming WLTI.
Gordon: Sounds good to me.
Chico: Okay, Haterade, what's next?
Gordon: Who wants a Media Ho report?
Travis: I like media ho's.
Chico: I've got ho's... in different area codes...
In this week's Media Ho Report, the Fired Apprentice Women do another calendar
for charity, Rock Star's Brooke Burke gets a divorce, Katarina Witt and Nancy
Kerrigan get scooped up for Fox's Ice Skating With Celebrities show, and
American Idol's Carrie Underwood is voted America's sexiest vegetarian.
Chico: That's a lotta ho's. Did we mention that NBC's also looking for Iraq War
vets for an upcoming Fear Factor?
Gordon: As well as both Beauty and the Geek and American Idol are doing audition
Chico: So if you wanna be a ho, that's a good place to start. Next!
Fox has signed up an XQuest in which players live in biocrafts that simulate
what it's like to live in space. Think "Halo" as a reality game.
Travis: Woo. Halo.
Gordon: According to the article I have, there are 2 biospheres and the losing
team has to 'jettison' someone from their squad on a failed challenge. Oh look -
It's Survivor: Halo.
Chico: All that's missing... Alien worms.
Gordon: Maybe you have to eat them in a challenge
Travis: And Plasma Rifles.
Chico: Reminds me... isn't Doom coming out in theatres later? Anyway, next
If you lost on a national game show, what would you do? Probably not send
tainted boxes of chocolate to casinos. Well, in Australia, that's exactly what
someone did - and promptly got arrested for it.
Chico: Talk about getting sour. Back to Deep Thought, Gordon...
Gordon: Final one.
It's the end of the line for two, one before it begins. NBC has scrubbed plans
to air "I'm A Celebrity, but I Want to Be a Pop Star". Also, TBS has purged
itself of "The Real Gilligan's Island" after having a less than stellar second
Chico: Good moves, I say.
Chico: That Pop Star thing.. Wouldn't have flown.
Gordon: Well, when you have no advertising for the second season and run
back-to-back, like you want to burn the episodes out, then you're going to get
half of the ratings that you predecessors got.
Chico: If anything Tiy-E can pretend to have an actual job now.
Gordon: Before or after he gets to see da judge?
Chico: I bet he's flexible enough for both. Anyway, no pop stars and no
islands, and I don't mind one bit.
Gordon: Does that end Brainvision for the week?
Chico: We're going to break right now. But when we return, Gordon gets a fix of
his gambling habit in Place Bets Now, and we get an acting jones in Roleplay.
Gordon: Shut it down, Travis.
Travis: BOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo *fizz crackle*...uh oh. EVERYONE DUCK!!
Chico: Abandon Brain!
Chico: ... I ain't cleaning this up...
Travis: There's Doppler everywhere!
Gordon: Ok - who forgot to feed it the weekly rodent supply?
Travis: My baby! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Gordon: I blame Jason Block for this.
Travis: New device next week, gentlemen.
(Brainvision News is brought to you by "I'm a Celebrity, But I Want to Be a
Recapper", where celebs compete for a lucrative recapping position for a leading
game show news site... Who's up to it?)
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