May 21, 2005

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and we are here for the last show of the season!
Jason: Awwwww....
Chico: From somewhere in America, the season finale of We Love to Interrupt... is on! This is Chico Alexander... Yes, it's true, and you know something?
Jason: What's that?
Chico: I AM going to let the door hit my ass on the way out! :-)
Gordon: I'll be pushing it... hard.
Jason: This is Jason Block here... Hey Chico... Got a question for ya...
Chico: What's that?
Jason: Who is in the American Idol final? (cups ear)
Chico: That would be Bo and your pimp-ho, Carrie Cleveland... err, Underwood. Carrie Cleveland's my ex. You know a singer's bad when she reminds you of your ex.
James: Oh my.
Chico: But trust me, I'm not bitter. :-)
Gordon: Welcome to the last show of the season - we are here with Jason Block and James Dinan.
Jason: Good morning and thank you for letting me be here for this eighth season. It's been a blast.
James: Good morning everyone!
Gordon: Now, as you all know, Chico and I like to end each season with a ...surprise.
James: You do?
Chico: We do.
Jason: Uh oh...
Gordon: And this season, we did not disappoint.
Jason: Go for it.
Chico: And right now, our surprise is safely locked in the trunk of Gordon's car.
James: Can he/she breathe?
Gordon: We have... a mystery guest.
Jason: I see.
Gordon: But first, we now welcome my sister Bonnie!
Chico: Hey Bonnie... for those playing along at home, she's not the surprise :-)
Jason: Hi Bonnie.
James: Hey Bonnie.
Bonnie: Hello again, there's a surprise??
Chico: There is a surprise. And quite a good one.
Jason: Interesting.
Gordon: We welcome the lovely Bonnie. Welcome to the show.
Bonnie: Thank you, brother =)
Gordon: In order to have the surprise, we are going to play....
Gordon/Chico: WHEEL! OF! FORTUNE!
Jason: Oh boy.
Gordon: Ready?
Jason: Sure.... Let's see the puzzle...

_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
PERSON

Gordon: Jason, you go first.
Jason: Is there a T?
Gordon: There is.

T _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
PERSON

Gordon: Any guess?
Jason: Pass.
Gordon: James?
James: Is there an S?
Gordon: Vanna Alexander, please report to duty
Chico: Player, please... *pushes remote*

T _ _ S _
_ _ _ _ _ _
PERSON

Gordon: 1 S. Guess, James?
Jason: LOL.
James: No.
Gordon: Bonnie - a letter
Chico: *gives Pat Pepper the finger*
Bonnie: Ha ha ha! Pat I would like an E
Gordon: 1 E.
Bonnie: yay

T _ _ S _
_ _ _ _ E _
PERSON

Gordon: Any guess?

(BZZZ!)

Gordon: Jason - to you.
Jason: R please.
Gordon: we have 2 R's

T R _ S _
_ _ _ _ E R
PERSON

Gordon: Any guess?
Jason: No.
Gordon: James?
James: H.
Gordon: I think James may know something. 1 H.

T R _ S H
_ _ _ _ E R
PERSON

Gordon: James?
Jason: (nods in agreement)
James: Well, it's either Trish something or Trash something, and it's not Trish Stratus, I know that :-)
Chico: Mm-hmm..
Gordon: 5 seconds.
Chico: I wish it was :-)
James: So pass.
Gordon: ooooohhhhh.....Bonnie?
Bonnie: hmm let me think. Ok, Pat, may I have an I please
Gordon: One I.

T R _ S H
_ I _ _ E R
PERSON

Chico: Nothing for vowels.
Bonnie: Trash something.
Chico: (BUZZER!)
Jason: Can I solve the puzzle Pat Pepper?
Gordon: You have to give me a letter first.
Jason: L
Gordon: 2 L's
Jason: And then it's TRASH KILLER
Gordon: Let Vanna put them up, you impatient sod.
Chico: Call me Vanna again, and you're going to have to do this show by yourself next season. (musical flourish) ...

T R A S H
K I L L E R
PERSON

James: Oh no.
Jason: Mr. Lan Djang I believe.
Chico: You just said the secret word.. Gordon, make it so.
Gordon: We are proud to introduce our special guest for this episode - LAN DJANG!
Jason: Greetings! How are you! (applause).
James: Good morning!
Chico: Wee!
Lan: Hi.
Chico: How're you doing, Lan?
Lan: I'm blushing from the attention; never been a mystery guest before.
Jason: How much did you win again for your appearances?
Lan: $63K in Jeopardy's Ultimate Tournament Of Champions, $174K overall, which works out to about $2M Canadian ;-)
James: LOL.
Jason: Congrats.
James: Great job.
Lan: Thanks.
Chico: Cool cool.
Jason: So what was the atmosphere like during the tapings?
Lan: Very upbeat; contestants were friendly, Alex seemed pumped up to have all these former champions; I think he was bored of Ken kicking everyone around for so long.
James: LOL.
Jason: But he has been dapping Ken since he left though :-).
Lan: You saw the biography.
Jason: Yes I did.
Chico: So you notice that he seemingly has Ken on the brain...
James: Ever since, say, Game 10 of the streak. Brian Weikle told me that his family wanted to strangle Alex every time he asked on-air when KJ would break Brian's single-day money record, so I feel the pain.
Jason: Alex can be a tad insensitive at times. We notice that.
Chico: You can only imagine what Kevin Olmsted was thinking. As for Alex, a tad insensitive, try indignant at times. Downright indignant.
Lan: Those wacky canucks!
Jason: But Ken did the job.
James: He sure did.
Gordon: We'll talk more to Lan about Jeopardy and Canadians, but let's get down to the news of the day, Chico?
Jason: Ok.
Chico: We're doing the Brain first? Okay! Cue it up, Earl!
Gordon: Roll that beautiful Brain Footage.
Jason: (puts on my nasty red jacket)

("Move Close To Your World" plays... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is Brainvision News).

Chico: One of these days I'm going to rig up an a cappella recording of that.
Jason: Oh boy :-)
Chico: First on the agenda, I'll take finales that are set for $200, Gordon.
Gordon: We start with the finales of May Sweeps Past, as...

Tom Westman and Kendra Todd win Survivor and The Apprentice, respectively. Any surprises?

Jason: None. Tom was one of the best players of all time.
Chico: Nope. And Kendra cried. That was the clincher.
James: Tom may be the first deserving winner of Survivor since Richard Hatch.
Gordon: I think you have to add Brian (Survivor 5), Jenna (Survivor 6) and Chris (Survivor 9) to the people who did more than skate to win the whole thing, but Tom definitely deserves the million.
Jason: Who was the dolphin trainer?
Chico: Ian.
Jason: Ian was an idiot.
Chico: Yes, but in some ways, an honorable one. But you know, you can be honorable, and still have the winner's edge, as Tom proved. And Coby? Just bitter.
Gordon: He reminds me of other people who played the game - jealous because the winners did what THEY wanted to do.
Chico: "You played the game dirty..." Yeah, apparently you're the only one who thought that, as Tom won in a 6-1 blowout.
Gordon: People would rather vote for a player than a coattail rider.
Jason: He was a player. He was the most physical guy I know.
Chico: Not like the person who came in second, ahem, Katie, whose plan of "being pathetic" was her undoing.
Gordon: Yep.
Jason: Her argument was so lame. I suck so vote for me.
Gordon: 'I'm not as good, but I'm here'. Well, you're there because Tom knew that you were pathetic and no one was going to vote for you. No bonus points for that.
Chico: And by contrast, there was the Apprentice finale, in which it really could've gone either way (no, not really, but for comparison's sake).
Jason: She got a nice 2006 Pontiac Solstice and deserved to win.
Chico: Yep. Sweet ride definitely deserved. But I'm hoping for more characters next time. So far, all I can remember is Tana, Kendra, Danny because of the guitar, and Bren because he looked like Gordon.
Gordon: Thanks - I think =P
Jason: LOL.
James: And as the ratings appear to show, interest in the Donald may be wearing thin.
Jason: And in the dumbest move of the fall schedule...2 apprentices.
Chico: I don't know. Maybe Martha Stewart might rejuvenate the franchise, if only for curiosity factor.
Gordon: It's not dumb as much as it is desperation. What exactly is NBC going to fill there? You've seen their schedule?
James: However, Martha Stewart got a lifeline with ABC moving Lost to Wednesday at 9pm...a dumber move.
Chico: Since they are not opposite each other, and since the show will have an American Idol-free run (Idol starts in January), the Apprentice may have time for a rejuvenation. And speaking of rejuvenation and factors, I'll take midseason for $600.

After getting smacked around by football and the Benefactor (who was going for the exact same demographics), Fear Factor is not on NBC's fall schedule, but is pledged to midseason.

James: Not a good sign for Fear Factor.
Chico: Frankly, Fear Factor is lucky to get a renewal at all.
Jason: This makes me very happy.
Lan: I think it jumped the shark when it became all about eating.
Chico: What, the renewal or the dismissal?
Jason: The dismissal.
James: It's the same show, week in and week out. After a while, the viewers see it as one continuous loop and turn away.
Chico: Yep.
Jason: It's the sign that reality is evolving.
James: And I have a feeling that *Fathom* will do well in the *Factor* slot.
Jason: Reality is going more towards gameplay than humiliation.
Gordon: Not really - Fear Factor has had 4 great years.
Chico: And we're getting another one, at least. But Fear Factor is going to have to pull a trick out of its spider-infested hat if it wants to make it to season 6.
Gordon: We'll see what happens when it doesn't go up against football.
James: Agreed... I have a funny feeling that, come midseason, NBC will put Fear Factor on Tuesdays at 8pm, where it will be slaughtered by Idol.
Gordon: We'll see what happens. Next news....

Look to the present finales, we have Jeopardy (Ken Vs. Jerome Vs. Brad) and American Idol (Bo Vs. Carrie).

Gordon: Put down the sharp objects, Chico.
Chico: Stabbitystabbity... America, why?
Gordon: Vonzell was a little too late out of the starting gate and Carrie had a bigger fan base. Simple. I think Vonzell was lucky to even GET to the Final 12, much less the Top Three. She should be thrilled with her finish.
Jason: And this Tuesday, she wasn't as lights out as Carrie or Bo. Sorry, Chico...
Chico: I still think Carrie's got all the personality and emotion of a brick, but really this was a battle to see who will have the dubious honor of losing to Bo.
Gordon: I agree with Chico. Bo sewed it up this past week.
Chico: He had the season when he did "In a Dream" with only one mic and one light. Simon put it best: "I think you just put 34 musicians out of work."
Jason: Bo is our winner.
James: Agreed...it's Bo's to lose.
Chico: Now a harder contest to call... Ken vs. Brad. vs. Jerome.
Gordon: Now the other match-up - looking good here.
Lan: I'm a big Brad booster.
Chico: I'm also a fan of the Rutter.
Jason: I am a fan of all of them.
James: Based on his second-day performance, Brad could be the man to beat. But it will be a heck of a final.
Jason: Ken will take one day to warm up. And then watch out. I say Ken defends his title.
Lan: He won TOC my year; then last year, when Canadian news people asked me to comment on Ken, I said he had the best chance of beating him.
Chico: So he's your guy then.
Lan: So I need him to make me look smart.
James: LOL.
Gordon: Sounds good to me, Lan.
Jason: But I will not be upset if any of these guys gets the win.
Lan: I agree with the 1 day warm up theory.
Gordon: I think Brad wins this too, he has been great in the past shows.
James: Agreed...all three would be worthy winners.
Chico: Agreed, but I'll be kinda upset if Ken wins this... I'm getting tired of Kenny Game Show here. But just a bit.
James: You'll be seeing Ken in the regular TOC as well, so Kenny Game Show is still going to be around :-)
Jason: No matter what happens...we will have a new all time game show money leader.
Chico: Or if Ken wins... an old one with new money.
Lan: More power to Ken, though it would be nice to get a bit of variety.
Chico: Oh yeah. Totally.
Jason: His total goes to $4.5M. Brad will go to $3.2M.
James: And he gets at least $250K just for showing up! He's the Tiger Woods of game shows :-)
Jason: (cough) APPEARANCE FEE(cough)
James: Darn straight! Just like Tiger :P
Chico: Heh.
Lan: I had a checklist on my fridge to motivate myself on the last one.
Jason: Which was?
Lan: Next to winning the $2M, I wrote "leverage fame".
Chico: Heh.
James: LOL
Jason: "Can You Beat Lan" Oops sorry...
Chico: Just some creative photoshopping, and you have something... Okay, moving on to Awards & Accolades for $1000...

Perhaps as a byproduct of the Jennings Reign of Terror... Jeopardy! clinched this year's Emmy for outstanding game show.

Chico: And its creator, Merv Griffin, was honored with the Lifetime Achievement award.
Jason: Very good stuff.
James: As Merv would say, OOOHHH.
Jason: Merv was very gracious last night. I watched.
Chico: Indeed. But the pleasant surprise of the evening: when Meredith Vieira was given hardware for outstanding game show host.
Jason: WHOO HOO MEREDITH!
Chico: All those extra hugs pay off.
Jason: Although she didn't thank me for rehearsing her--I'll take it. :-)
Gordon: lol - next?
Chico: I'll take Cancelled for $1600.

A report is saying that after five years, Street Smarts is going dark. No more Street Sillies =(

Jason: Sad day.
Chico: Very. But still a great show that just ran its course. I believe a memorial hop-skip is in order.
Jason: (in deep voice) THE CANCELLATION OF DEATH!
James: It's tough for any show in the syndie marketplace to last five seasons. Street Smarts did it, and should be praised for making it that far.
Chico: Agreed.
Jason: And Frank was a great guy, as experienced by our GSC crew last year.
Chico: *nods*
James: Definitely! Hope Frank bounces back and we'll see him on the small screen again!
Gordon: It would be nice.
Chico: But next time he comes round on the stand-up circuit, we'll be there.
James: Agreed.
Chico: Mics in hand and everything.
Jason: No kidding.
Gordon: ok - Last subject....

In Univision's Spanish-language version of “Let's Make a Deal” (“Trato Hecho”), a prize that was offered was... a person! Or more like a person's services. Is this a trend that we will be seeing?

Jason: Excuse me?
James: Huh?
Chico: A person's services...
Gordon: We've seen this in reality shows, where people compete for people who know either survival skills (Survivor), business skills (The Apprentice) or schmoozing skills (Beg, Borrow and Deal), but this is the first time when a classic game show revealed as a prize a person - which was not a zonk.
Jason: How did they describe it?
Lan: What did this person look like?
James: Was this a B-level celebrity, or just some guy off the street?
Gordon: In this case, the services were a complete makeover from the stylist to the stars.
James: Correction...a Z-level celeb?
Chico: If we could bring up the quote here...

Jay May, President of Feature This! Said “I was eating lunch with Peter and Trato Hecho called and said they lost a prize; is there anything I could do?” I looked at Peter and said, “You wanna be a prize”?

Jason: That's funny.
Chico: The rest, as they say in Latin America, es historia.
James: Okay.... Ay carumba.
Jason: Pretty unique.
James: Better than a year's supply of Turtle Wax, I guess.
Chico: Sure enough, he was a prize, and the contestant squealed in delight, as the prize was a makeover from Feature This! I should note that prizes on Trato Hecho aren't that expensive to begin with.
Gordon: Still, a makeover isn't a bad prize.
James: No it's not.
Chico: Nope. They had it on Whammy.
Gordon: Though when it was hit on Whammy, the person didn't jump up and go Hi! You've won me!
Chico: Heh...That's Brainvision News, and when we return, we've got 20 Questions and one Lan Djang to answer them all.. Don't worry, these'll be far easier than the ones you had to answer.
Lan: Whew!
Chico: And none of those type questions either. This is WLTI, we'll be back!
Gordon: You can answer in the form of a question if you feel like it, though.
Lan: I'm a little sick of that thank you :-)

(Brainvision News is presented by People Prizes... When you care enough to give unto yourself, give yourself...)