Chico: ... Wow. Ask and ye shall receive. Welcome back to wLTI. thanks for being
a part of our week and allowing us to be a part of yours. Now the stockings are
hung by the chimney with care, it looks like... One says "This". Another says
"That". And a third says "The other". Care to explain, G?
Gordon: I will. The theme this week is your winners. We talk about champions
this year, but we usually don't talk about how good they are. This week, we
will. This: Dominant performance. One for the ages. That: Solid effort. The
Other: How did they win? We start with...
Jason / Amy, The Amazing Race
Chico: They kept things interesting. And they were consistent all the way
through. They get a candy cane in the THIS stocking.
Gordon: They were consistent, but not dominant. For that reason, they go into
THAT. Still good though.
Gordon: Next one...
Amber Riley, Dancing With the Stars
Chico: I'll put her into the THIS. She's had the moves and the fan base.
Gordon: THIS. She was dominant. Never remotely in Danger
Chico: Not even close
Gordon: Nope. Next one...
John Cochran: Survivor - Caramoan
Chico: THIS guy.
Gordon: I'm going to disagree. THAT. He was that good because he had a season of
experience under his belt. So a masterful game, but not necessarily a masterful
Chico: Okay, so far, so good. Who's next?
Gordon: Next one...
Andy Herren, Big Brother
Chico: THE OTHER. Never mind how he won. How was he even CAST?!
Gordon: He was a pure definition of a floater and someone who let everyone else
spontaneously combust. THE OTHER. Next one...
Candice Glover, American Idol
Chico: I'm actually surprised I remember her.
Gordon: I am too
Chico: God... what can I say. She was never in danger, but at the same time, she
never made an impact. THE OTHER.
Gordon: Candace should thank the judges for making sure a female won. Because
she was decidedly mediocre. The other. Next...
Danielle Bradbery, The Voice
Chico: THAT. She was genuinely talented, and she's going to do a lot of things.
Probably the opposite of Candice.
Gordon: Id go with THAT. Very good in her own right
Chico: Just wait until the Olympics. Just saying.
Tate Stevens. The X Factor
Chico: THE OTHER. I ask you... WHO?
Gordon: Carly Rose Sonenclar would like a word with you. THE OTHER.
Chico: Granted, better him than Carly Ringer Sonenclar. :-)
Gordon: Says you. Next...
Laura Tyler, Face Off
Chico: Okay, here's where I cry foul. You have a returning player who MADE IT TO
THE FINAL THREE...THE OTHER. I'd put a fourth column, "Why Are You Even?" ...
but that just skews the dynamic.
Gordon: I agree. THE OTHER. Next one...
Jinks Monsoon, RuPaul's Drag Race
Chico: I'm sure there's a reason he won. But still... THAT.
Gordon: 8 straight weeks of being in the Top is a good reason. One of the most
dominate winners in History. THIS. FINALLY...
Kristen Kish, Top Chef
Chico: You know what? THIS. Because she had one bad round, paid dearly for it,
then fought her way back.
Gordon: I'd Say this, because she was the first person to win from Last Chance
Kitchen. Well earned.
Chico: Indeed. Okay, now that we made our list and checked it twice, it's time
to send cards out. We'll do that after we rustle up a few pennies to buy stamps.
See you after the break.
(Brought to you by Million Dollar Dreidel. Spin the dreidel, collect the gelt.
But one wrong call... and it's goodbye chocolate.)
Gordon: Thats a LOT of chocolate.
Chico: You know it. Season's Greetings from the folks at WLTI. Of course, we
have season's Greetings to bestow.
Gordon: Nice. Start with the first card.
Chico: Alright. First card goes to...
The guys at the Sing-Off for a return engagement.
Chico: Dear Ben, Shawn, Jewel, and Nick. Congratulations on the second chapter.
The never should've ended the first. Signed, Achordant #5.
Gordon: Dear Sing-Off Gang - We'd love to welcome you back to Christmas.
Sometimes it's better to give than to receive. Ask the people last year who
wanted to Take it All. Signed, GSNN
Chico: *applause*. Next?
Gordon: Next one...
Speaking of Welcome Back, Shakira and Usher are returning to The Voice next
Chico: Dear Usher... You can win this. The champ is beatable. You just got to
remain focused. And Shakira... Tú eres una loba feroz, y te lo puedes llevar a
estos bastardos. Signed, GSNN.
Gordon: Dear Shakira and Usher - Welcome back to the show. We'd like 2 coffees,
light with cream, no sugar. Because until you do anything competitive, you're
still the interns... Signed, Adam and Blake.
Chico: See, I'm the optimist, Gordon's the realist.
Gordon: I be what I be.
Chico: Yeah. Next.
Send one out to Brooke and Beastie on their series high performance this week.
Gordon: Dear B&B - Congratulationa on your winning ways. We hope that the chase
for a 3rd season renewal will be quicker than chasing down a team. Signed, GSNN
Chico: B&B, congratulations on sticking it to the guys at Fox, Now chase down
renewal! Signed, GSNN. PS: if you need another chaser, we are available.
Gordon: I think they get Season 3 without much problem. I'm waiting for the
video game, etc. Come on, GSN, get on this.
Chico: Yeah. Next?
Gordon: Next one...
We haven't heard from Mike Darnell lately. Show him some love.
Chico: Dear Mike, Here's to not letting the man get you down. Hoping you'll land
on your feet....Nah, I'm just playing with you. Write back when you have an
original idea in that big hair of yours. Signed, GSNN
Gordon: Dear Mike - When Reindeers attack, Who wants to marry Santa Claus, The
littlest Elf, and the best Holiday Choir. These haven't been done yet, but we're
giving you ideas. See you soon! Signed, GSNN
Chico: Okay, how about this one...
To the Jeopardy! Decades Tournament players.
Chico: Attention Jeopardy! players... Sounds easy enough. Why don't you try to
play MY game? Signed, M. L.
Gordon: Dear Jeopardy Decade Tournament Players, easily the best bunch of
players to grace the halls of Jeopardy, If the tournament of champions was any
indication, Give up. Now. Love, Brad and Ken Jen.
Chico: And he nails it.
Gordon: Yours is a winner also. Last one...
We haven't given any love to Mike Fleiss in a while. Chico I'm sure wants to
wish him some pleasantries.
Chico: Dear Mike.... No, screw you. Merry Christmas, Chico.
Gordon: Dear Mike - We aren't the 3 Kings, but we 3 QUEENS want to wish you a
very Happy Holidays - and maybe we can give you high ratings next season. Love,
Omarosa Manigault, Tiffany Pollard, and Megan Hauserman
Chico: Damn son. I just want to go to break. Speed Round is next!
(Brought to you by Chia Man Eating Plant Mistletoe. Tired of party guests who
want to give you a kiss? Just plant the mistletoe and let the man eating plant
do it's work. Another great product from Zonk Enterprises.)
Chico: Anyway, before we wrap this baby up and send it to our secret Santa, some
announcements! Next episode, an episode 365 days in the making... our annual
Year In Review special! All of the week's big stories PLUS an in-depth look at
2013 in review. The winners, the losers, the big changes and the smaller ones.
You're not going to want to miss that. Then the week AFTER, we have a treat over
at clw83.com, our annual Best and Worst of Everything Special. I've got my auto
lock set for some of those.
Gordon: That's always fun. So is a speed round
Chico: And that starts... NOW. Who wins The Voice?
Gordon: I know you're going to say Tessanne
Chico: Damn right
Gordon: Hence, even though i think you're right, I'll say Jacqui, just for
shiggles. Survivor: Tyson wins, right?
Chico: Tyson's got to win. He's got the inside track. X Factor. Duet?
Gordon: Duet. Sing-off. Who's song just ended?
Gordon: I'll go with that. Any Acoustimail?
Chico: No acoustimail. But if they want to send us some holiday love....firstname.lastname@example.org
OR Facebook.com/wlti.gsnn OR twitter.com/wltiongsnn.
Gordon: And that ends the show. Special thanks to no one in particular, because
it's just Chico and I this week.
Chico: He's Gordon. I'm Chico. The show is We Love to Interrupt. Game over and
spread the love. Happy Holidays, everyone!