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Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I need all of
the obnoxious kids out of the room. Chico: Fine. I'll leave... Gordon: Not you Chico. Chico: Oh. Jason: (leaves) Gordon: Come back here, Block. Jason: Alright Alright Chico: While we are on obnoxious kids, What do the United States Government and
Colton Cumbie have in common? Gordon: They both shut down? Chico: Ding. Ding. ding. Ding. Ding. Gordon: I'm good, baby. A lot of things shut down this week - but not us, as
from somewhere in America, this week's version of WLTi...is...on! Jason: WHOO HOO! Gordon: Gordon and Chico Alexander here, along with special guest Mr. Jason
Block. Jason: Nothing shut down here Chico: The only thing that shuts down on this show is The Choppler. But we'll
get to that. Right now let's get to something...or someone...who shut down. On
your marks! Let's start...
Chico: The big story out of Survivor this week: Colton quits. Again. Jason: Do NOT get me started Chico: Oh we're ALL gonna get started up in here. So first of all, you knew
something big was going to happen when they decide to put the Redemption Duel in
the cold open. Jason: Of course. But then Colton got all misty. Chico: And like I can't play this and I'm leaving so Caleb can stay. Yeah, Jeff
Probst wasn't having any of that nonsense. Take a look
Gordon: So Colton is a 2 time quitter. Thoughts? Jason: I think that Colton is persona non grata. I was yelling at the TV. This
happens all the time when someone pusses out on a reality show. Chico: Now here is why Jeff is one of the best in the game. Not only is he a
good conduit, but he's saying what we're thinking. The only reason I could see
Colton coming back was the whole medevac situation, Which turned out to be not
true either. Gordon: It's frowned upon to quit the game once, if not twice. Of course, the
next question should be why was he allowed to go back on the show in the first
place if he quit? Jason: Not Jeff's fault. Or maybe Jeff was taking partial blame for it. Gordon: Maybe. Because if they knew it was faked afterwards, they never
have brought him back Chico: So if you had a memorable player quit the first time, Then come back and
quit again, And if you are the face of the franchise, I'd be pissed off too! Gordon: See Fairplay. Johnny Jason: BINGO Chico: Thank you. Although with fatherhood and family life I'd doubt he'd be a
shoo in. But that's just my humble opinion. But yeah I think they were going not
so much for "good gamers" but "memorable characters", Which is odd when you
consider the loved ones are getting HAMMERED! Jason: They are being pagonged Chico: The latest loved one to get the hook? John Cody, Aka Mr. Dr. Candice
Cody. Jason: In a perfectly good blindside Chico: First of all, That should be an interesting duel, And second of all,
About that mastermind, I don't mind saying this: Culpepper is playing his tribe
for chumps! He masterminded the blindside, caught John off guard, and now
creates the mother of all Awkward Moments. But a legitimate question, Is he
playing the game too hard too early? Jason: Oh yes. Gordon: Of course he is. The scheming has to stay secret to start, and he
overplayed his hand - making him a HUGE target Jason: Winners balance gameplay Chico: He has no problem thrusting his bollocks into the faces of anyone who
will watch. Showing his ass on a daily, if you will. Jason: Right which means HUGE target on his back Gordon: The back and the ass aren't too far away from each other. Speaking of
asses: what happens when you don't read clues? Chico: I see what you did there.
Chico: It always happens on The Amazing Race. Someone will profess to being
smart, Or strong, Or hungry. And then they forget the Jack Attack Rule -
REMEMBER THE CLUE. Jason: This has been two weeks now. Chico: I swear we need a big book of game show rules to follow. Gordon: Now professor Alexander, please give us our reading lesson today. Chico: First of all, They redid the titles, Damn those are sexy. Jason: Very nice and very 2013 Chico: Also sexy, Travis & Nicole, Married ER physicians from Atlanta. Their
reading comprehension skills - NOT SEXY. Gordon: What happened? Chico: They get a picture of the first Pit Stop of the 23rd Race: the Municipal
Building in Iquique, Chile. Jason: Right. Chico: Phil even makes a note of this when he not-checks them in "What's the
first rule of The Amazing Race?" They say, in unison, "Always read the clue."
That life lesson gets them 30 minutes in the penalty box. Gordon: But at least it keeps them in the game, unlike the other teams that
learn the lesson more severely. Jason: With a role reversal road block having to do with fishing Chico: Right. Gordon: You have the wrong people doing the Road Blocks in a classic mess. Chico: Let's talk about Naina & Hoskote. For the second Roadblock, the team
member that paraglided in the previous Roadblock had to collect five fish from
one of three boats by reaching them on a rowboat. The three fishing boats each
had a limited number of fish, so if a boat ran out of fish racers would have to
find one of the other boats to get the remaining fish. Once they brought the
five fish back to the docks, the fishmonger would give them their next clue. Chico: Naina did the gliding, so she had to do the fishing. Jason: Except for the fact that the person who did the first road block had to
sit out the 2nd. Chico: Right. So they had to double back on the Roadblock after Naina read the
clue again, but it was all for naught, though, as they have the dubious honor of
being the first ones eliminated from Amazing Race 23. Lesson learned, READING IS
FUNDAMENTAL. Jason: Oh yes:) Gordon: Heh. Is singing fundamental? Chico: To think otherwise would mean to get an early X Singing is always
fundamental. But then again, only two of us can carry a tune...Jason. Jason: I carry them in a suitcase. Chico: Time for our first round of uncanny X-morons in...
Jason: Neat. Chico: I like comics. Gordon: We start with the Fantastic 4...Seats, which the singers want because
that will get them into the Finals. Chico: So we go into a completely original, not at all ripped off Battle Round
called the Four Seat Challenge Jason: Boy did that seem like a Voice rip off. Burnett is laughing his ass off. Chico: The object of the Four Seat Challenge is to win in a battle situation.
Remember Winner's Row from the million Second Quiz? Jason: Do I have to? Chico: ...Well, it's kinda like that. One by one, the singers sing. Then one by
one they earn a chair. But they could be knocked out if they are beaten by a
better singer. Like let's say Jason sings Barry White's Can't Get Enough of Your
Love Baby first. He'd either get a chair or he'd be eliminated. Because Jason
has a surprisingly low register, he gets a chair Jason: Ok Chico: Then Gordon steps up with the Mark Ronson/Tiggers/ODB version of Toxic. Jason: WHOA Gordon: Yeah, baby. Chico: Because Gordon does a spot on rap in the middle, He gets the first chair,
and Jason moves to chair #2. Now I come in, I sing a slow jam from the 90s,
Silk, Brian McKnight, Babyface, take your pick. Because I have that soft,
velvety, clog your arteries buttery high tenor, I take chair one. Continue until
all eight have sung and have been eliminated accordingly. Gordon: Which means, of course, you put your weaker singers in the front and the
stronger ones in the back. Chico: Right. It really is head rattling and almost impossible to follow unless
you're actually following it. Thoughts, gentlemen? Jason: DES-peration. Gordon: Sometimes, you shouldn't do things just because you can do it. Jason: YES YES and Yes. Chico: I believe Albert Einstein had a saying here. Break things down to their
simplest terms and no simpler. Yes it's a little more exciting to have your
singers do battle on stage, but at the end of the day, it's the juries at
Julliard with a Roman Coliseum feel. Jason: Yeah Chico: You just feel funny watching it, compared to, say, just singing at the
judges house Jason: It feels like Peanut Butter and Motor oil Chico: Even worse, It felt like.. the Winner Is. Jason: OUCH Chico: With a markedly better host. You just get a dirty feeling watching it. Jason: I am feeling dirty reading it Chico: Like, this is not just a show, This is a battle Royale. And it's all
artificial. The battle is artificial. The audience is artificial. Gordon: You want to see triumph, not heartbreak. You want to watch a show
without an icky feeling behind it, and this provides the ick. Now on the other
hand, a fun moment would be a $250,000 question on Millionaire. Chico: Made even more fun with a guy who has an extensive suit & hat collection
Chico: It was Double money week on Millionaire. Madalyn Mako is shredding it up
for $93,100 as we enter Classic millionaire. She still has a jump and age would
be well justified in using it for the $100k
The Darien Gap makes it nearly impossible to do what?
A: Accurately predict earthquakes
B: Drive from North to South America
C: Travel faster than light
D: Dive deeper than 1,000 feet
Gordon: E. Get bargain clothing any less than 75% off retail price.. Jason: LOL Chico: Hey-o! Jason: Guess...b. Gordon: The only one that makes any sense is B. Chico: And that would be correct. Madalyn makes a jump. And with a bank of
$93,100, Why not. Gordon: you're not going to risk $68,100 for $6,900. Jason: NOPE Chico: The best move here is to not play Gordon: So lets see the $250,000 question. Chico: How about a nice game of hunt and peck instead?
Which respected writer, poet, and professor was not a skilled typist, using only
two fingers to type the manuscript of his greatest work?
A: J.R.R. Tolkien
B: J.M. Barrie
C: James Joyce
D: George Orwell
Jason: Guessing A Chico: Gordon, you either know this or you don't. Gordon: 3 of the 4 writers on this list had a writing education. The other one
was brought up in the military and didn't have the same training. That person is
Tolkien, so that's the one I'd guess also. Chico: You just pull these things out of your head, don't you? You're right! Jason: YAY! Gordon: Whoo hoo! Chico: Madalyn said C was the only one she knew of the four. But before she can
say the two magic words, she leaves with the $93.1K. Jason: Good call. Money is good. Gordon: And good for her. Well played. She gets this...
Gordon: You can call her the big Cheese. meanwhile, we have little cheeses
playing a big boy game.
Chico: We are down to the final 12 on MasterChef Junior, And they will be
playing the game the big boys play. But they get to keep the aprons, because
let's be honest, Who'd take a kids apron away? Gordon: (points at self) Jason: You would. Gordon: I would. it's part of the game. And the kids are acting like the adults
- and not in a good way. Jason: Ooooh boy. Chico: In the very adult way. Well not VERY, I mean they have HAD home training.
Not an angry racist among them, Krissi Biasello. But go on. Gordon: Are there ANY likable characters in this? Jason: (thinks) Chico: Let's just say I can imagine Gordon... as a kid, Fitting in. Gordon: I was better than them. Jason: I bet you were. Gordon: I did have a slapping people on the butt fetish though. Chico: TMI. Gordon: I was 8. I don't have that anymore. Jason: You are excused Chico: Alright. So slap these kids in the butt then. What happened this week? Gordon: Anyways, Jack won the challenge and challenged everyone else to make
burgers. The people who thought out of the box - Tommy and Molly - thought WAY
OUT of the box (Korean Burger with Kimchi and a breakfast burger), so they are
out. Chico: Okay. Now switching to Jeopardy! We have some people. And they are
getting ready to play a tournament of sorts, Battle of the Decades action.
Problem is, They have 14 players slotted, And one open. That's where you come
in, America. Jason: This is INSANELY COOL. Chico: Indeed. Jason: For the people who can be eligible (grumble) Gordon: Ha ha. Chico: Let it go, man, Let it go. Gordon: I think Jay's having an asthmna attack. Jason: ... Gordon: Funny I think a bird is flying over his head and Jay may be sending it
towards me. Jason: Oh, I am sending a damn flock. Chico: Settle down, children. Jason: Sorry dad. Seriously. You have the best of each decade. Chico: Yep. Here's who we have representing the 80s. Board me. Glowy... Jason: Bright huh? Chico: This one's called Jeopardy! Loves the 80s. The players are...
Jeopardy Loves the 80s
Chuck "The Bouncer" Forrest
Leslie Shannon Miller
Frank "The Spank" Spangenberg
Jason: (bows down) Chico: Submit! Gordon: These are all excellent players - and ones that have done well in other
shows. Jason: 80s fans are going to see some of these players again Chico: Oh yeah. Chico: And that's not counting the five wild cards voted upon by you at
Jeopardy.com. They are...
Jason: One vote per day Gordon: My vote goes to Leah, but they are all worthy Chico: Really hard to choose ONE person. They are all greats here. If I had to,
I'd take Diane. Jason: Next week, the 90s. The week after the 2000s Chico: And we will be reviewing the lineups over the next two weeks. Jason: Fans are going to be VERY happy. Gordon: Drew has created nametags for the contestants made of silly string. Chico: That's really artistic, Drew Gordon: Very. Roll that beautiful Brain Footage.
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to
your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper,
Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thank you Doug. First up, I'm going to need a bat Jason: Which one? Chico: The one with a lot of Sharpie markers on it. Jason: (hands Chico the Sharpie Bat)
Okay, a long time ago, Style greenlit "Styled to Rock" from Rihanna, which was
before Esquire decided to move from G4 to Style. Now it's going to be on Bravo
instead. It will premiere October 25.
Jason: My head is spinning. Chico: Time for a quick revisit
STYLED TO ROCK Bravo - October 25
Jason: So what's the concept now? Chico: Project Runway, For rock stars Gordon: Push. It's on the right network. Jason: PUSH. It's Bravo Chico: I'm going to jiggle. It may be in the right network, but it's on the
wrong day. FRIDAY. Okay, that's later this month. Gordon, what's coming later
this week? Gordon: Here's this week's Datebook,
We have Big Break.
Jason: Yo. Gordon: Yo. Let's get Fully Loaded. Jason: (HIC) Chico: Next... Oh boy, first of all, we're only reporting it because it's a
little newsworthy, And it has to do with something that happened in the
Twittersphere. Jason: Oh no Chico: Any attempt to make it more than that will be met with the Jason
of Justice. That said...
Are YOU smarter than...The guy who operates the Twitter feed for Family Feud?
Jason: OK,.why? Chico: As you know the government is in shutdown. The operator posted a tweet
critical of Speaker John Boehner. The mods called "hack", the tweet was taken
down, and a tweet of apology was posted. Now, If I may... Jason: Do you need to the WLTI Soapbox? Chico: Yeah. (Steps on soapbox) I use the Twitter app on my iPhone. @DinoRAlexander. Jason: @beattheblock Gordon: @gsnnhaterade Chico: I also tweet to the WLTI Twitter on my phone. @wltiongsnn. It is a very
easy mistake to make if you are using the iPhone app to tweet to two feeds. I've
had one of MY tweets show up on the WLTI feed once or twice. Of course it was
never of an inflammatory nature or expository nature, It was taken down and put
in the proper place. I'm not saying what did or didn't happen, I'm just saying
it's an easy mistake to make. Gordon: And now with the Counterpoint, Mr. Gordon Pepper. Chico: Soapbox is yours Gordon: #1. Politics should NEVER be used in game shows. Period. Jason: AMEN! Thank you! Gordon: I'm here to be entertained, not to be politically swayed. #2. It is YOUR
responsibility to see what you write and what gets published. If you can't
handle that, don't sync your stuff together. Jason: Again, right on. Gordon: I STRONGLY doubt someone wanted to hack the Family Feud twitter site.
Technology is no excuse to be an idiot. (Steps off podium) Jason: (steps on) What G Said. He stole my thunder. Own your mistakes. (steps
off) Gordon: But I have more morons. Jason: (rolls in the white board)
Are YOu Smarter than...Hoskote and Naina. The doctors need to take a reading
Jason: YES Chico: And this, by the way, is called intelligent discourse. Learn it folks. Gordon: Now I have a LOT of Haterade. Who wants some? Chico: Meeee! Jason: I do!
We start with Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner, who are getting divorced, So are
Lamar Odom and Kourtney Kardashian. Now they can get more airtime on Divorce
Chico: I need the soapbox again. Jason: (puts soapbox back) Go ahead Chico: (Steps on) Kris Jenner is a media ho. (Steps off) Jason: Tell us something we don't know, Chico Chico: (Steps on) Bruce Jenner is not. And Celebrity Double Dare was underrated.
(Steps off) Gordon: (steps on) I have more Haterade. (Steps off) Jason: Lets do it. Gordon: (Steps back on) You all know how much we don't like Million Second Quiz,
right? Chico: Yep Jason: Nods
Jason: Nigel is both correct and bitter Chico: Hey Nigel.. Nigel? The Enemy Within called. He wants to know why you
don't call him anymore. Gordon: Maybe we need to go to the Uk and find out. Chico: Maybe we do
We have a date for Pressure Pad, hosted by Scotland's favorite American, Or
America's favorite Scot, Or something, I get confused. John Barrowman can turn
it on and off... It's in November on BBC1.
Chico: Which means that you can win, Thousands of pounds! Because all of the
BBC's money is going into Top Gear, Strictly Come Dancing, and Doctor Who.
My British game show hussy Davina McCall, who is
either a robot, zombie or Wonder Woman, is fronting a physical game show called
in Sync. A pilot was commissioned for ITV.
Gordon: Davina Zombie!
Chico: The zombie that took on Doctor Ho. Jason: Ha! Gordon: But she IS a Media Ho. Chico: And so are these guys. (Plays Luda)
In this week's Media ho Report,
Guy Fieri does Grocery Games, Bob Eubanks does
Arizona. Jordin Sparks is dead on CSI, and her career can't be resuscitated
Jason: (rimshot) Chico: But Gordon! How is she supposed to breathe...(Shades) with no air?
Jason: Dude, Chris Brown, look it up Gordon: She needs an oxygen and agent transfusion.
Cee-lo's on again off again sexual harassment lawsuit is back on, Carson Daly
gets engaged, and Sean Lowe and Catherine Guidice are having an engagement
party. Chico is buying the party favors.
Chico: You don't want ME to buy the party favors.
Gordon; And why not? Chico: I'd spike the punch with absinthe. Jason: LOL Chico: We gon' git stupid up in herre. Gordon: Nice. But none of them are your hoes of the week. Jason: Hoes? Chico: Who have you got? Gordon: Any mother daughter duo that wants to win $5,000 from Howard Stern. All
you need to do, is get nekkid. It's the hottest mother/daughter contest. Jason: This is 2013. This is tame by Howard Stern standards Chico: I know, He'd usually give $10k up front first Jason: LOL Gordon: And those...are your hoes. Chico: And that's BRAINVISION. Jason please... Jason: Shutting down the choppler Chico: Still to come, we try and spread the love through these hard times, but
first, another visit from Swami Gordon. Jason: A ha Gordon: I see more silliness going on. You're reading WLTI, You give us 22
minutes and we'll give you 22 things you really need to read before doing. Like
taking prescription pills. Parking your car. Going online. Jason: Pressing send.
(BRAINVISION is presented by Kentucky Fried Tar Heels GIANT Ofer Holes. Now
available in Philly Eagles Cheese Steak flavor! Taste the mediocrity.)