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June 23, 2015

In Reruns Now:
Celebrity Name Game
Family Feud
Let's Make a Deal
The Price Is Right
Wheel of Fortune
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Some game logo captures appear courtesy of Mike Klauss and Jay Lewis

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Web design by Jason Elliott. Logo by Chico Alexander. 
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A Pair of Transfers

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
by Chico Alexander
bird, new, square, twitter icon @dinoralexander

Fox: 8p/7C
Host: Jeff Foxworthy with Tres Allison, Angela Azar, Lauren Bullock, Mason Davis, Dee DuBois, & Reagan Strange
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Total for today: $100,000
Total for the Season: $300,000
Bonus Win Percentage: 0/1
Dropouts: 3
Flunkouts: 3
Peeks: 3
Copies: 4
Saves: 4

We begin with Michelle Keith (27; bank teller & semi-pro basketball player from Riverdale Elementary) from the Atlanta Storm.

( $2000 ) G3 Earth Science
What white puffy clouds are known as "fair weather" clouds?
a) Cumulus
b) Cumulonimbus
c) Stratus

Michelle uses her Peek. Partner Dee said A. That's right for $2000! After the $5000, we go into the $10,000 Grade School Giveaway, which takes us to James Bowie Elementary in Dallas.

( $10,000 ) G1 Animal Science
What material are spider webs made of?

Michelle goes with silk... and the kids from Dallas just got $10,000!

( $25,000 ) G2 US Geography
TRUE OR FALSE? Tallahassee, FL is the southernmost US state capital.

She locks in FALSE, hoping that Mason said true.... but it's FALSE for the guaranteed money!

( $50,000 ) G4 US History
Now a national historic park, what site was headquarters for George Washington's army in the winter of 1777-78?

Michelle takes the freeball with Washington, DC. It was Valley Forge, PA. We need Mason to be right here. He IS! SAVED!

( $100,000 ) G4 World Geography
The Suez Canal, completed in the 1800s, connects the Mediterranean Sea with what other sea?

Michelle uses her COPY. Correct answer is Red Sea. Angela's answer: Red Sea.

( $175,000 ) G3 Measurements
If you were to travel at the speed of light, how long would it take for you to travel 5 light-years?

Michelle doesn't know how long a light-year is. She's DROPPING OUT with $100,000. Correct answer: ... what Tres said, 5 years. "My name is Michelle Keith. I may work with money all day, but I am NOT smarter than a 5th grader."

Ryan Murray (34; spin instructor; Addison Elementary) is next, having graduated NYU with a 4.0.

( $2000 ) G2 Spelling
How many times does the letter "H" appear in the following phrase? "The eighth letter of the alphabet."

You can see that the answer is five. Ryan said "four". Reagan said... 4 as well. He flunks out with NOTHING. Oh well, anything to tell America, Ryan? "I am Ryan Murray. And I may have graduated NYU with a 4.0, but I am sadly not smarter than a 5th grader."

@midnight with Chris Hardwick
by Chico Alexander
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

Comedy Central: 12:01a/11:01p
Host: Chris Hardwick
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Ryan Pinkston
Ashley Tisdale
Lauren Lapkus
"Jurassic World"

While you were busy welcoming our new human-arachnid overlord Tom Holland ("Billy Elliot"), we return the favor by having an American actor play a British role with the stars of TBS' "Clipped". Tonight's #HashtagWars: in honor of Gmail's new Undo function (C-Note: yay!), #RegretfulSubjectLines. Ryan leads with 800 to Lauren's 600. Ashley has 400.

Going into act 2 with the cancellation of "Hannibal" as told by Hannibal Buress. As for game action, we have Loco-Mercials (low budget commercials). and tonight's Live Challenge: Cruelwinkle. HuffPo published a video of an anonymous Lucy riding a moose on a lake in British Columbia. The RCMP is trying to find him and charge him with animal cruelty. Let's hear your eulogy for this man. Lauren gets the 1000 from "Doug died doing what he loved: suffocating wildlife like a piece of (poopie)."

Time to speed it up with Olympic Size Fool. There could be 7 new sports in the 2020 Olympics. Ashley has to settle for the bronze.

FTW: Grammarly determines that New York Mets fans are the worst spellers in all of baseball. As a Mets fan, compose a sternly-worded response. The winner... yeah, like we're going to print that here. RYAN wins in the worst possible way. Meanwhile, Lauren just made another $2 million.

Remember, today's funny becomes tomorrow's source material. Follow the game online @midnight.

by Chico Alexander
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

Syn/YesTV: 7:30p/6:30c; also check listings
Host: Alex Trebek
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  Sacha backed his way into the championship yesterday. He'll go at it against...
Sacha Samotin
Naples, FL
Donna Normington
Mesa, AZ
office manager
Matt Pressman
Somerville, MA
graduate student in history

Sacha starts with $200 Spot the Im-Pasta. At the TV timeout, the champ is tied with Donna at $1400. Matt has the lead with $5200.

Matt finds the Daily Double under $800 Literary Characters. He fronts $2000 on this: this literary character's father works for Mr. Scrooge. "Who is Tiny Tim?" Got it for $10,800! He's up $13,600 at the half, while Donna and Sacha have but $2600 and $1000 respectively. Sacha gets to go first in Double Jeopardy!...

... with $400 US Areas & Territories, where Adam-Silver-lookalike Matt finds the first Daily Double under $1200. He fronts $4000 on this: in 1988 Congress authorized a national park in this territory south of the Equator to preserve its rain forest. "What is Guam?" No, it was American Samoa, dropping him back to $10,800. Sacha finds the other under $1600 Alphanumerics. He's going for it on this: the first Swine Flu, identified in 1930, was caused by this alphanumeric virus; in 2009 it was back. "What is H1N1?" That would've been right... but he said H5N1, all but opening the floodgates for Matt with $18,800 to Donna's score-corrected $3800. Sacha, on zero still, will leave with $20,600. On the other side of the spectrum, it's Matt's game to lose.

FINAL JEOPARDY! in "Fun & Games": a standard chessboard has this many perimeter squares. Correct response: what is 28? 

No one gets it, but Matt ends up with $13,800.