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Every Monday

Previous Episodes (Season 34)
September 2 - That Was the Life That Was / Resolutions / Push or Flush (1)

September 9 - Raj Runs the Table / What Happens First / Push or Flush (2)

The GSNN guys are taking over the world... one game show at a time. Comments are always welcome here!

Hosted by Chico Alexander and Gordon Pepper, and featuring the editors/contributors to GSNN

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Episode 34.2: Fanvasion: 2013
September 16

Chico: Hey, guys, Chico Alexander here... and when 2013 is over and done with, I think this is going to be remembered as The Year The Fans Took Control.
Gordon: I'll remember it for the fans throwing up.
Jason: Or revolting with pitchforks
Chico: From the Chase... to Let's Ask America... to Wheel... to TPIR... to a certain NBC show that we will review shortly, it is going to be Game Show Invasion! 2013. Instead of the hyperactive Hollywood casting results, we get real damn players. Now if only we had a real damn game, NBC.
Gordon: We'll get to that later, but from Somewhere right by the Lincoln tunnel, in an abandoned storefront,!
Chico: Woo!
Jason: YAY!
Gordon: Gordon Pepper here along with Chico Alexander and special guest Jason Block
Jason: Glad to be here
Chico: Glad to have you. Got a lot to cover and not a lot of time, so we'll start with the Game Show Event of the Fall, which is almost the Game Show Event of the Fail.
Gordon: Almost?
Chico: It's a show that works on paper, but not in execution.
Jason: It's incredibly frustrating
Chico: Here's the story on the Million Second Quiz. It's a live quiz show that plays out on TV and the interwebs for 1 million seconds straight.
Jason: But here's the thing...the quiz on the interwebs is NOT what you see on TV.
Gordon: First things first. Lets not get too ahead of ourselves.
Jason: Right. There is a LOT to cover
Gordon: This is a national game where people across the world sit in the money chair, where you earn 10 dollars per second you sit there.
Chico: So for the lion's share of 11 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes and 40 seconds.. it's a straight up quiz battle, one on one for control of the Money Chair, where, as G said, you win $10 for every second.
Jason: For sitting there.
Chico: Right. The object is to sit in the Money Chair for as long as possible. Because the four players with the most money (and having sat the longest by extension) will keep their cash and play for another $2 million.
Gordon: Making whoever wins this the biggest money winner in game show history
Jason: right.
Chico: Now we've seen both the internet live bouts and the TV bouts. For our purposes here, we will review both separately. Because if you think about it... they're different beasts.
Jason: They are.
Gordon: ok. Lets start with the internet bouts then
Chico: Right. It's a straight up quiz for 500 seconds. Winner stays, loser pays.
Gordon: The good: You like trivia? No problem. plenty of trivia for you
Chico: Yup. No BS here. It's a straight up game.
Jason: And friend of the site, Todd Alan Crain hosts part of it. It's done in the alternate studio
Chico: Which is below the TV stage in midtown Manhattan. It's a giant hourglass, you can't miss it.
Jason: More on that later.
Gordon: Right. The bad: If you're not a trivia fanatic, this is as exciting as watching Ryan Seacrest's lip gloss smear against his teeth.
Jason: Agreed.
Chico: Yep. And it's a lot of substance with no flash to it. And... AND...If you are watching online, the app and tends to crash a lot.

NBC - 8p ET Weeknights

Jason: Which is why, for me as a trivia fanatic, I grade this part a B. When you get to see it.
Chico: So for the Internet game... it's a B... No fuss, no muss, no funny business.
Gordon: It's addicting because I'm a trivia fan, but I have to deduct points on the fact that the powers that be do nothing to spruce this up. C+
Jason: Speaking of sprucing up, let's go to the TV
Chico: LET'S go to the TV.
Jason: We can't start out without the hourglass. It's BAD ASS.
Gordon: The set is beautiful.
Chico: Perhaps the sexiest set ever constructed for a game show. With the New York skyline as a backdrop. Best backdrop in the world.
Jason:'s the best part of the TV mess.
Gordon: Because that's where most of the money went
Jason: Agreed, because it did not go to game testing.
Chico: Tee hee. So the set is beautiful, Seacrest is a legend in the making, and the game is the game. But that's where the good ends. The bad... hoo boy.
Jason: The gameplay on TV was a MESS.
Chico: No one ever ran this through beta, did they?
Gordon: I don't think so. Because then they would see how boring this plays out.
Jason: And if they did...I ask your question...THEY GREENLIT THAT?

Chico: Here's the thing...
Jason: Game 1 is the current money chair holder vs. a contestant.
Chico: So game 1, a challenger. ANY challenger. Game 2, a line jumper game, where a home viewer is whisked away to New York to play the game.
Jason: Game 3 is WINNER'S DEFENSE.
Chico: And this is where it all goes to ... poop. The top 4 players are on Winner's Row, where they will sleep in cubby holes, eat Subway, and play along with the game on tablets to determine who gets to be the TV show's Power Player of the night.
Gordon: And munch on sponsored popcorn during the matches
Chico: And munch on sponsored popcorn during the matches. That person can either step into the challenger's box themselves OR send someone else. Then they play a 400 second winner-take-all bout. Winner gets the loser's share of the money, loser gets a five... five dollar....five dollar foot-looooooooooooooooooooooooong.
Jason: Ok...can I point all the bad things here?
Gordon: We all can. Big Bored please?

Million Second Miss

- Game is boring
- Not very interactive
- Golden Snitch
- Only 5 people win money
- REVERSE Golden Snitch

Jason: Can I suggest a name?
Chico: Do it.
Jason: Million Second Miss
Chico: Short, simple, love it.
Gordon: Let's start with the basics.
Chico: Okay.
Gordon: 1. The Gameplay is boring. it's only exciting because of the money at stake, but it doesn't make a good game.
Jason: Very much so...forced drama
Gordon: 2. The only interactivity is the Double Dare Doublers, where you can answer the question, double dare it back, or take the physical challenge.
Jason: Wrong show, but we get the idea :)
Gordon: The Doubler, though adding strategy, actually adds it in the wrong way. You almost want to be trailing because you're putting all the pressure on the leading player, instead of vice versa.
Jason: And it's unlimited.
Chico: And the fact that you can use it as much as possible does nothing to add to strategy.
Gordon: 3. the Millionaire's Row is getting too hard to get on naturally, so the only way to get on is to be lucky enough to get in the chair for the primetime if you're the next contestant when the show ends at 9pm, you're screwed.
Chico: Unless you can hold out that long.
Gordon: If I'm someone interested, and I see I can hang out for 2 weeks and make no money, why would I want to invest my time and go play?
Jason: And the viewers are calling them on it.
Chico: Right.
Jason: 4. only 5 people win money
Chico: So it creates a mechanic where the only way to cash is to survive to primetime.
Gordon: Millionaire worked because anyone could play and you can win any amount of money. This would have been HUGE if on any win, you win what you earned in the chair.
Chico: And that brings me to 5) depending on how NBC plays it... we can either have a Golden Snitch or a Reverse Golden Snitch.
Jason: How do you mean?
Chico: Let's say you are in the Money Chair in the last televised duel before the final.
Gordon: So now all you have to do is win one game for 100G's plus and a shot at 2 mil.
Jason: Right...
Chico: #1 winner is called up to play. You BEAT #1 winner, and now you're #1 winner for having sat there for... I don't know, an hour. Meanwhile if you're in the Money Chair in the last bout before the tournament final if there is one... you have ZERO chance of getting to play for the $2 million. It's all sizzle, no steak. So to sum it up... it's solid trivia, the game mechanic has holes you can drive a Mack truck through, and Seacrest is the only saving grace. D it up, please.
Jason: I wanted to like this show....but it's a D for me.
Gordon: Everything was off here and they didn't do their homework. This could have been a great vehicle, but instead this feels like an NBC infomercial with a game that was an afterthought thrown in And being that this is a 11 1/2 day infomercial..ouch. D.
Jason: I really feel sad about this.
Chico: I wanted so badly for this to succeed. Instead, we are uncertain to its ultimate fate... while we know for certain that Big Brother is going to return next year. And my guess is that the casting is not going to get any better.
Jason: I have hope
Chico: And yes, since we're down to the final week, we have to do this...


Gordon: But we'll make it as quick and painless as possible.
Chico: Yes please.
Gordon: Gina Marie wins if she makes it to the end.
Jason: Agreed.
Chico: Andy... no chance of winning. Not with this jury.
Gordon: I disagree. Andy has a shot if people play with their hearts instead of their heads and if Andy can convince the Jury that Gina or Spencer are hate-mongers. Reminder that Candace is in the jury. Spencer need to make sure he's there against Andy.
Chico: The only way Spencer wins is if he freezes GinaMarie out. Bad news for him... it's Andy vs. GinaMarie for final HOH. So Spencer has to push Andy into the win, and Andy has to vote GinaMarie out.
Gordon: Finally, if the Chen-Bot comes out and disintegrates all of them before the final vote, America wins!
Chico: WOO-HOO!
Jason: LOL
Chico: Disintegration for the win!
Gordon: I'm rooting for the CHenbot
Jason: Me too.
Chico: Can we bring back the mime? I want to bring back the mime.
Jason: But we actually have 6 final acts we can root for :)
Gordon: We do.
Chico: Yes we do!


Chico: And this one actually has some thought behind it! It's time for AGT: Who Wins If... First of all, the final 6 are...

Opera group Forte!
Comedian Taylor Williamson!
Magician/mentalist Collins Key!
Dancer/mime Kenichi Ebina!
Country singer Jimmy Rose!
And singer Cami Bradley!

Chico: So we have three singers, one dancer, a comic, and a magician. Nice blend of talent here. Something for everyone. But who does everyone like? We know that Taylor Williamson has been a bit on the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey side of things with his material. Not so much the delivery, because that's been consistent, but the material is not on par with the audience. Collins Key is the Justin Bieber of magic. He can perform and he looks dreamy doing it... but here's the thing... his acts run a bit long. Jimmy Rose and Cami Bradley... both singers... both good singers... but both just plateaued. Kenichi Ebina seems to go from strength to strength. But he's up against history here. No dancer, as good as they are, has EVER won America's Got Talent.
Gordon: Oh I will completely disagree with you here. I think your overwhelming favorite is Ebina. Assuing he doesn't screw it up, I think he's got it. And here's why. WHat did they decide to start doing this year in terms of voting?
Chico: In terms of voting? TWITTER.
Gordon: And what does Twitter favor?
Jason: The young
Chico: Young and offbeat.
Gordon: No no no no.
Chico: No no no? Que no no no.
Gordon: Twitter does two things. 1. It allows more kids to vote, sure, but what OTHER group, that's never been able to vote in AGT before, is now allowed to vote? Think OUTSIDE the box. or in this case, the country.
Chico: Foreigners?
Gordon: Yes. The FOREIGN market
Jason: The people who see it on Youtube
Gordon: Right. And the foreign people who see it on YouTube can NOW VOTE.
Chico: Interesting point. So who's on top for you?
Gordon: Here's my top 6, in order. Kenichi Ebina, Forte, Collins Key, Cami Bradley, Taylor Williamson, Jimmy Rose
Chico: Okay, Blocky, settle this.
Jason: Mine are: Cami Bradley, Kenichi, Forte, Collins Key, Taylor, Jimmy
Chico: So he agrees with me then. =p
Gordon: Which means I'm feeling pretty good about Kenichi :)
Chico: But as a man much wiser than I once said... "That's why we play the game." And for those who think that anything can't happen... Two words: "Olate Dogs".
Jason: Its going to be a great final...anyone up for seeing it live? :)
Chico: And yes, we will be live-casting the finale. It should be a good time. But let's talk about someone else who's having a good time. Remember when I said that 2013 is going to be the Year The Fans Took Over?
Jason: Yes.
Chico: Let's talk about one of the fans...

Chico: We should add a disclaimer here. Eric Pierce is a good friend of the site and a good friend of ours and his work can be featured here. He's also a member in good standing of Game Show Mafia West Coast Division.
Gordon: And you can see a jumping Gordon in the audience of his show.
Jason: Fist pumping too :)
Chico: And Gordon loses his mind easily.
Gordon: If I'm not playing, I have no problems losing my mind.
Chico: Noted for the record, Gordon. So let's talk about Eric Pierce. First of all, there's an interesting story that we can't tell fully here, but trust me, it's interesting. And in the end, Eric made for a good run at it. And even though he wants to be a luger, he will always be a winner in our eyes. :-) He's just playing this game like a student of this game.
Jason: So let's recap shall we?
Gordon: With a little help from Gordon, who gave him some advice - which is the same advice I will give to you, Big Board please?

How to Win at Millionaire, Professor Pepper Style

Read the question carefully
- If you don't know the answer, figure it out from the question

Gordon: The Subject: How to win at Millionaire, Professor Pepper style.
Jason: Teach us Professor
Chico: Pay attention, kids.
Gordon: Rule #1: Millionaire is NOT trying to trick you. Read the question and try to get the clues out of the question. Pay attention to the writing of the clues.
Chico: They're some of the best writers in the business. The answer is there if you pay attention. And you have an infinite amount of time to do so.
Gordon: Rule #2: Which goes conjointly into rule #1. If you don't know the answer, you may be able to figure it out off the clue.
Gordon: Let's see Questions #1 and #2 in Erics pack please, Chico?
Chico: Q1 is Unamusement Park.

Planning to open in 2017, what French theme park will include attractions such as the Battle of Waterloo and the guillotinig of Louis XVI?
a) Genghis Khan World
b) Stalin Safari
c) Napoleonland
d) Mussolini Water Park

Gordon: Anyone know anything about French theme parks?
Jason: Only Disneyland Paris
Chico: Judging from Disneyland Paris, they all suck.
Jason: Nice. BUT...if you read the clue, the only thing about France is C).
Chico: Yep. Three big clues. French, Waterloo, and Louis XVI
Gordon: The only choice that is French is Napoleonland, so there's your answer. SImple.
Chico: Let's go to the next one. Q2: Big Dog.

If you lived 12,000 years ago, it may have been possible to keep a now extinct "dire wolf" as a pet, much like the characters in what TV series?
a) Walking Dead
b) Game of Thrones
c) Homeland
d) Justified.

Chico: Two key words... "dire wolf" and 12,000 years ago. Of these four shows, only one does not take place in what we would call "modern era". That would be B.
Jason: Of course
Chico: So even if you knew NOTHING about Game of Thrones (guilty), you'd be able to surmise that.
Jason: Exactly.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Q3: Playing the numbers.

Set to launch in 2014, Wyoming's state lottery hopes to draw in customers from which neighboring state that outlaws all forms of gambling?
a) Iowa
b) Wisconsin
c) Arizona
d) Utah

Chico: So we know it's a neighbor of Wyoming. Sorry, Iowa. Sorry Arizona. Sorry Wisconsin.
Jason: Even if you didn't know geography, this one is EASY. Utah
Chico: And Utah, let's face it. They're about as puritanical as they come.
Gordon: Utah, the land of the Mormons and against all things gambling.
Chico: So two big clues.
Jason: And I learned one of only two states that don't gamble. Hawaii is the other.
Chico: Really. Q4: Name Change.
Jason: Go on

What would the group Gladys Knight & the Pips be called if renamed to include the item on which "pips" are prominently featured?
a) Gladys Knight & the Dominoes
b) Gladys Knight & the Pants
c) Gladys Knight & the Shuttlecocks
d) Gladys Knight & the Teapots.

Chico: It helps if you know what "pips" are.
Jason: Again....if you know. A
Chico: Now when I hear "pips", I think of two things... one, the ranks on a Naval officer's collar. And two... the markings on dice and DOMINOES, A.
Gordon: This is the first one you needed some knowledge to figure out.
Eric is perfect so far. Next one?

Chico: Q5...

In an interview that resurfaces in 2013, the CEO of what clothing company boldly admitted they don't sell XL sizes because they go after "cool kids"?
a) Abercrombie & Fitch
b) Gap
c) Armani Exchange
d) Old Navy

Chico: Now you can eliminate B and D because they are sister institutions. The CEO of one is the CEO of the other.
Gordon: Abercrombie and Fitch have always target the skinny kids. Armani Exchange focuses on the youth, regardless of size.
Jason: And the magazines are pornographic
Chico: We'd like to show you pictures of the models, but this is a family show, damn it. That leaves A. Next one after that was actually hard.
Gordon: No it's not. And here is where you really have to pay attention to the question.
Chico: Q6, Outdoor Tables.

Caution should be used when asking to dine "al fresco" in Italy, where the phrase is slang for what?
a) Prison
b) Hospital
c) Gymnasium
d) Nursing home

Chico: Now it's hard, but it isn't. Al fresco... outdoor dining. Which of these places commonly has a "yard"?
Gordon: 'Cautioun' should be used. There's only one place where you should have 'caution' going in.
Chico: well, not a Nursing home. They're relatively tame.
Gordon: How exactly is dining in a gymnasium dangerous? Watch out for the falling gymnasts!
Jason: Hopital is
Gordon: Not for the visitor. Read the clue and don't overthink it like my friends here.
Chico: Heh. Q7: All About You.

"You probably think this song is about you" would be an appropriate thing to say to someone with which of these disorders?
a) Obsessive-compulsive
b) Attention-deficit
c) Narcissistic personality
d) Bipolar

Chico: You don't even need to be a Carly Simon fan to know what it means to be "so vain".
Jason: right. C
Chico: It's a case where the question screams the answer. Q8: Fore!

Totally nude and holding aloft a high black ball...

Chico: just wanted me to say that, didn't you?
Gordon: I just wanted you to let out your inner Chico.
Chico: I knew there was a reason we were going over EVERY QUESTION. By this time, Eric had banked $51,500... with two questions left. Q9: Straw Poll

A plastic flexible straw often comes attached to which of these beverage containers?
a) Beer can
b) Wine bottle
c) Juice box
d) Champagne bottle

Chico: Again, the question screams the answer. You don't use a straw to drink wine, beer, or champagne... unless you know, you're into that sort of thing.
Jason: Or very uncouth :) C.
Chico: So we get to Q10 worth $15,000 more... Eric didn't get it, but he had $53,500. He can afford to bypass this.
Gordon: Yes. Now if you were playing along with us, you'd be perfect going into the last question. Eric had a jump left. We have 2.
Chico: Q10: Possessed Art

What artist reportedly gave a sculpture of Jesus to a friar for performing an exorcism on him in the 1940s?
a) Rene Magritte
b) Paul Gauguin
c) Salvador Dali
d) Jackson Pollock.

Gordon: As all of these painters were around in this time period, you either know it or you dont
Jason: right
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: So if you don't know it, use a jump. #4. JUMPS are your FRIENDS. If you don't know, use it.
Chico: Eric uses it and now gets to walk with $50,000+. Unless he wants the $100,000 question.

Having written what was once believed to be the encyclopedia of all human knowledge, who is considered the unofficial patron saint of the Internet?
a) Saint Isidore of Seville
b) Saint Casimir of Poland
c) Saint Edward the Confessor
d) Saint Alexis of Rome

Jason: no clue here
Chico: Nope. And the ATA was of no help either. They were split between C and D.
Gordon: Sometimes there are $100,000 questions you can figure out. This is not one of them. When Eric asked the audience, none of them were over 40%, and the right answer (Isadora of Seville) was only answeed by 18% of the group. I had the right answer.
Chico: Eric decides to bail out with the money, and honestly, who can blame him. He gets $53,500... and it is my pleasure... to give THIS to him...

Jason: Spend it wisely.
Chico: ... because he drove Gordon Pepper to shouting.
Jason: And don't crash
Gordon: Great game played by Eric
Jason: Best he could do
Chico: Indeed. From the best to the worst. Some TPIR players who could stand to learn a thing or two from Professor Pepper.

Chico: This is a bit different because it's not on the fault of the show or the production or the players... but on the airing. It's no secret that TPIR is frequently preempted for one reason or another. But we've had a few make-goods air over the summer, and with exception to the annual BTS special... all of them ended the same way.
Jason: Badly.
Chico: Not just badly. TERRIBLY. Double overbid.
Gordon: There's a reason why they bury these episodes in the Summer.
Chico: Because no one watches them.
Gordon: Sort of like the episodes marked with an 'X" - you have to air it so you can pay people off, but you want to do it as inconspicuously as possible.
Chico: Because no one wants to see it, even less the ever fickle fan base. So you're going to hold over as many of the stinkers as possible for as long as possible. Common rule here... You show'm the good stuff, you DON'T SHOW'M THE OTHER STUFF.
Gordon: In this case, you show the good stuff in November and Ferbeuary and May
Chico: Sweeps?
Jason: BIngo
Chico: So there's a method to madness. It means that you're going to end the season with more of THOSE than wins, but at least you get a good season from September to May out of it.
Jason: Right.
Chico: And really, that's all that matters. The September to May. So we get that.
Gordon: But I have other questions. 5 good ones, you may say.
Chico: On another Game Show Fan-Taken-Over Show (hi, how ya doin') from 2013...

Chico: Gordon, hit me.

1) Forget whether they should (we know they should) - how vital is it for them to expand after / during season 2?

Jason: Almost an INEVITABILITY.
Chico: There's a little thing called the sophomore slump. Hand it to the folks at Scripps and Warners, they have a killer PR department... and they've been pushing this show as hard as possible.
Jason: 15 stations don't cover it. Jason: They need 100
Chico: But it cannot survive two seasons unless it gets the clearance. They either need to get the syndication base up or explore cable. But you need need NEED to expand that base.
Gordon: If you want the money and exposure, you need to get it on more networks, regardless of the airing time. Next inexplicably got a season 2 because of this.
Chico: Next question...

2) Will someone repeat what Kevin Baea did and go ALL THE WAY?

Jason: Yes I think so. But the risk will be greater because of the new rule change.
Chico: Explain.
Jason: If you risk the money at the end and get NOTHING.
Chico: OUCH.
Gordon: Hi, budget cuts.
Jason: Got to play for that new big screen
Chico: Again, stressing the importance of expanding! Which brings me to...

3) They've redone the set - a sign of promising things to come or a dangerous move?

Jason: Both.
Gordon: Both - what they need to focus on is the technicals and to avoid glitches.
Chico: Right. And I know they have nothing but high standards in the technical department. They expect a LOT from home players. Ain't that right, Jay?
Jason: Yes they do.
Gordon: I'll take your word for it.
Chico: Right. Fourth question, G?
Gordon: next one...

4) You're the producer. How do you make special theme weeks using your technology?

Chico: We had weather persons. Let's have news persons. Let's have more community heroes. Hell, I'll say it. REVENGE OF THE LOSERS! They already have the technology, they just need to contact them again.
Jason: HEY! That's me! :)
Chico: I'll even give you Jason Block's home phone if it'll help!
Jason: I'll take it :)
Gordon: Nice. I'll take 'friends of the producers so they can't get on a game show' week.
Chico: Did we mention that among the two of us, Gordon and I have been disqualified for more game shows than we've appeared?
Gordon: No, but that's interesting there. :P
Jason: Adding my name to that club :)
Gordon: Jason finally got disqualified from his first game show, so he's earning his wings.
Chico: Thought that was interesting. LAST QUESTION!

5) Among the 15 markets that aired Let's Ask America, it scored a 2.2. This season... Let's Ask America averages...

Gordon: That's a really nice number, but I'll say the lack of exposure hurts them. 2.0.
Chico: I think the sophomore slump hits. 1.9.
Jason: 1.8. Sorry guys
Chico: Well, give us something, we are consistent. It's a good show, but it needs some help.
Gordon: Cheeseball has volunteered for help.
Chico: What's Cheeseball gonna do?
Cheeseball: (squeak squeak squeak)
Gordon: ...I don't think that strip hamster trivia is going to work.
Chico: ... oh, that's a good idea there. :P
Gordon: No, not even if Amanda is a model.
Chico: Sorry, hams.
Jason: What we the news
Chico: Yes we do.
Gordon: Roll THat Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up, a bit of business.
Jason: What bat do you need?
Chico: The one I broke during the Opening Round of Who Wins If.
Jason: (hands Chico the broken bat)
Chico: Thank you.

Big Brother has been renewed for a 16th season on CBS.

Gordon: Whether you like it or not, even a down season is still a time-slot leading season
Jason: They just need to really check the casting
Chico: On the bright side... so has BOTH of NBC's summer staples.

Unofficially, casting has begun on both AGT and ANW. Go to if you want to become part of that. And by the way, as a lead-in to the Datebook...Season finale of both are this week. AGT on Wednesday, ANW on Monday.

Chico: What else on Monday, G?
Gordon: (opens Datebook. Takes a deep breath)

Dancing With the Stars, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Family Feud is on Monday, Survivor is on Wednesday and Season 5 of Shark Tank is Friday

Chico: And all is right with the world, my friend.
Gordon: Well, some of it is right, Some of it is wrong.
Chico: Uh oh.
Jason: Yeah uh oh
Gordon: (Wheels in Whiteboard)

Are YOU Smarter than...wait for it...Lindsay Lohan's....MOTHER Dina, who gets arrested for DUI.

Gordon: Apple, meet tree.
Chico: No elaboration necessary.
Jason: None.
Gordon: Didn't think so.
Chico: Hater, meet Haterade.
Gordon: Did you know we use the finest overriped apples and concord grapes with our Haterade? Complete with goblin piss.
Jason: ewwwww

Kanye West has been charged with misdemeanor battery and attempted grand theft for a fight with a photographer.

Chico: Again... no elaboration necessary.
Jason: None.
Gordon: Is there any way to change the kids name from Northwest to North Sing Sing?
Chico: Ouch.
Jason: ha
Chico: You need to get fully loaded.
Jason: HIC

Okay, so you've heard how NBC was saying that the Million Second Quiz app was SO POPULAR that it crashed, right?

Jason: Yes on night 2 I believe
Chico: Seacrest made a point of explaining this
Jason: OK
Chico: I'm looking on iTunes for where it is chartwise...

It's #18 in freebies with a 1.5 star rating.

Jason: 1.5 on Android too
Chico: So it's being beaten by such gems as Pimp My Keyboard, Chipotle Scarecrow, and let's not forget my personal favorite, Giant Boulder of Death.
Gordon: Chipotle Scarecrow is CLASSIC!
Chico: Sigh. These are all REAL. But what do the critics say about it?

Chico: ... That's what I thought. I'm going on vacation.
Jason: Where to?
Chico: Argentina.
Jason: Que pasa?

They've just signed on for a version of "My Man Can".

Jason: Concept?
Gordon: My dad is better than your dad, to spouses.
Chico: ... Yeah.
Jason: (facepalm)
Chico: Maybe we need a GOOD trip to Australia ... a palate cleanser.

7 Network in Australia has a new show, "Million Dollar Minute".

Jason: Alright
Chico: It's a quiz show where someone has a shot to win $1 million, Australian, of course, in a minute.
Gordon: What we really need are some Aussie media hoes.
Chico: (plays Luda)

In this week's Media Ho Report, Jamar Rogers is in the ICU (feel better!), Jyulie Chen admits to plastic surgery, Mike Sorrentino blames his pill addiction on Dancing With the Stars...

Jason: Right.

Paul Sinha goes on tour, Jeff Probst wants more returning players on Survivor, and Meredith Vieira wants nudity on her talk show. Whoo hoo!

Jason: Yipe.
Gordon: But none of them are the ho of the week.
Jason: Who is the ho in question?
Gordon: Your ho is Lillie McLoud
Jason: Who?
Gordon: That was the name she used on the X-Factor.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: But I remember her though when she was making #1 hits under the name
Nicole McCloud, with songs like this:

Chico: (plays "That's Not My Name") Remember what happened to the last person who did that. Granted they were still allowed to play, but America was having NONE of that.
Gordon: Or this #1 hit.

Jason: (ALARM! ALARM!)
Gordon: Or THis #1 hit

Jason: We got it :)
Chico: She's a media heurrrre.
Gordon: She's had ten+ Top Ten hits in the US, between her singles and her dance hits. Heck, she could sing all of her hits and make it to the top that way.
Jason: Pretty much
Chico: Nope. America'll vote her out. Won't happen.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's BrainVision. Shut it down.
Jason: Shutting down
Chico: Thank you J. Brainvision is over, but when we return, we'll finish up with the toilet... and it's a big toilet because the Beast is about to strike again. But first?
Gordon: First, we bring back a game we only played once - but it's time to play it again. This is WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 songs Nicole McCloud can remake and be #1 hits. Like Saturday Love with Justin Timberlake
Jason: :)
Chico: I knew you wouldn't disappoint me with the discography.
Gordon: Never. Maybe she could do the Macarena? Wouldn't it be fu...
Chico: Not. EVEN. CLOSE.
Jason: Nope. LOL
Gordon: ...fine.

(Brainvision is presented by the Kentucky Fried Tar Heels Ofer Holes.. Now available in Seattle's Best Coffee flavors and Buffalo Chip flavors)