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Every Monday

Previous Episodes (Season 34)
September 2 - That Was the Life That Was / Resolutions / Push or Flush (1)

September 9 - Raj Runs the Table / What Happens First / Push or Flush (2)

September 16 - Fanvasion: 2013!! / No... Sorry / Push or Flush (3)

September 23 - Upon Further Review / Really Big Board / What Were You Thinking?

September 30 - Chips Ahoy! / 6 Things We Think You Should Know / Read Between the Lines

October 7 - Shutdown / Now How Much Would You Pay? / What If?

October 14 - Rise of the Eleventh / Songbook / Snaps

October 21 - Money Money, Yeah Yeah / What Your TiVo Says About You / What's My Zinger?

November 4 - Supersized Chainsaw Massacre / Brainvision News / Number Please

November 11 - The Double Up / Brainvision News / Play the Percentages

November 25 - An Adventure in Game and Time / Brainvision News / Presents

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Hosted by Chico Alexander and Gordon Pepper, and featuring the editors/contributors to GSNN

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Episode 34.11: Thanksgiving Leftovers
December 2

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and we're hoping you have your giblets stored.
Chico: And we hope you have leftovers for days.
Jason: I saw people's giblets get mashed on TV...people what the ($ - ! - ?) were you thinking?
Chico: Amazon! Interwebs! Overstock! Guys! You don't need to be out that early! F that S!
Jason: This isn't THE PURGE or Series 7
Chico: Or the Hunger Games
Jason: Nope.
Gordon: I think instead of going out there, you should be ordering stuff online and reading us here. Or go out after the zombies are done shopping.
Chico: But for now, I'm Chico Alexander, and from somewhere in America... WLTI.. IS.. ON!
Gordon: YAY! Gordon and Chico here, along with special guest Jason Block. We start this episode with people who can buy pretty much whatever they want for the holidays.

Chico: Rani Peffer... who is actually related to a friend of ours by marriage I believe... is out of Jeopardy! for now.
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: She was playing for six on Tuesday. Again a home school mom... and a social worker who's apparently part walrus. Now up until this point, it's important to remember that Rani has $69,701 for FIVE. That averages to almost $14,000. So she's a good player but not a spectacularly great on. Going into Final Jeopardy!, Mike Nickel has $20,200 to Rani's $14,600. Janel Stogdill, the home school mom, has -$1800. You know what that means.
Jason: $1,000 and go home.
Chico: Bingo. So again, a good player, but not a great one. But she can win this one easily. Final Jeopardy! clue. The category is Authors.

An international airport in Jamaica is named for this author who set many of his stories of the 1950s & 1960s there.

Chico: Jason, your response, please.
Jason: (cue Monty Norman Theme) Who is Ian Fleming?
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: What is D'Jamaika Mistake?
Chico: Hi, Geoff Edwards! (Waves).
Jason: Fleming set the early stories of James Bond there.
Chico: Yep. You're right. So is... Mike, to win $29,210. Rani leaves with $70,701, but with five wins, she will return for the Tournament of Champions alter in the season. What chance do you give her?
Jason: Not much
Gordon: She's good, but as you said, she needs to be better than good.
Chico: Indeed. So she gets to the show, but she makes a quick exit. Much like the Brothers Baskauskas. I hope I spelled that correctly.

Chico: Vytas lost at Redemption, sending him to the jury to join Aras.
Jason: Do you think Tina getting help/giving help was fair or foul?
Chico: You have to remember that Survivor is a game of anything goes. If Vytas didn't listen to Monica to get Tina's clues, then it's on him.
Jason: Really?
Chico: I think so.
Jason: Because we will get to another example of something later which I think was foul too in another direction, in another show
Chico: Thoughts, G?
Gordon: I agree with Chico. It IS anything goes, especially if it's your survival.
Jason: So you will HELP someone else?
Chico: If they can gain from it somehow... or at least get a threat out. Now, however, the crowd is seeing your true colors. That may figure into jury votes.
Jason: Hence, why you don't do it.
Chico: You can do it, but you do so at your own peril.
Gordon: I think it depends on the situation. in this case, Tina doesn't have a choice in the matter, because if she loses, she's out. It's very smart for Laura M. because if they get back into the game, now people know where she stands in terms of an alliance.
Jason: Laura's decision was risky.
Chico: But it was something she had to do.
Jason: Bull. You help Tina to get Vytas out? Really?
Gordon: You have to get both brothers out. It's a very smart play.
Chico: Smart, but risky. Now she's going to have to answer for it.
Jason: But then we get to Tribal council, and something even more interesting happened. We had an immunity challenge for the remaining Seven. But Jeff pulls a VERY beautiful play. He basically says if you are safe (or think you are) you can eat.
Chico: It's a twist called Eat... or Compete.
Jason: As long as the competition is on, you can eat or drink. We had four people play for the immunity, and Tyson, Gervase and Ciera eat.
Chico: Leaving only four - Monica, Hayden, Katie, and Caleb - to play.
Jason: Monica BEASTS this competition, which involved holding 25% of your body weight challenge while a rope unspools. Everyone is on board to vote off Ciera until Caleb and Hayden try to hatch a plot to show that Ciera is playing both sides and trying to get TYSON out. Tyson is worried about his own safety. So at Tribal, Tyson plays the immunity idol. He didn't need it, and neither did Ciera as Caleb is voted out 4-3.
Chico: So that was either the dumbest move on Ciera's part to save herself... or the most brilliant move to snuff out the Immunity Idol.
Gordon: It's brilliant by Ciera and dumb by Tyson.
Chico: Now there's nothing to protect the Tyson-Gervase teamup.
Jason: Which means unless Tyson wins immunity or finds the idol again...he is TOAST.
Chico: Better not burn that next clue, buddy. I know how y'all do.
Gordon: And you know how we do when we said Amber Riley was going to win Dancing With the Stars?

Jason: You guys BOTH had it from Day 1. Proud of you both.
Gordon: So how did we know?
Jason: Do you guys need a big board?
Chico: Why not.

How a Mercedes Won the Big Race

- Bill Lost It.
- Audience = No Say
- Amber Consistently Best


Chico: It's called "How A Mercedes Won the Big Race". Let's start with the top 4. We had Amber Riley, Corbin Bleu, Jack Osborne, and Bill Engvall. We like to point out that this is the furthest a GSN host has EVER made it. Let's review the judges' scores. Amber got a 30 TWICE plus was second in a dance-off, so she leads with 64. Corbin and Jack ALSO got a 30. These three would go on to be your top three. Bill Engvall's 24, a 25, and last place is not good enough. Heeeeere's your sign. Get out.
Gordon: Buh bye.
Chico: So we have a score of Amber/Derek 64, Corbin/Karina 62, and Jack/Cheryl 57. Right now the scores are so spread out that the audience has little to no say in this. So it'll be all on what they do on FINALE NIGHT. Jack got a 27. Corbin got a 27. Amber got a 30. And that's how Amber Riley won Dancing with the Stars.
Gordon: I don't think the audience would have made much of a difference this season, based on who was left.
Chico: No.
Jason: Nope. Amber was the BEST ALL season
Chico: Indeed. She was in NO REAL DANGER all season long. So congratulations, Amber Riley, you get to put the Mirrorball Trophy in the hallowed halls of McKinley High.

Gordon: Amber was never in danger. But the blondes were in danger all season long. And this time, their time has run out.

Jason: Yes and I have another problem with what a team did later in this episode
Chico: But tell us what went down, G-Money
Gordon: Ally and Ashley made way too many mistakes in their detour, and then couldn't catch up to anyone else.
Jason: I think THEY could have a shot if another team didn't help another.
Chico: Go on.
Jason: Well in Indonesia, the teams had to build a musical instrument called an ankglung. Its an 8 octave bamboo instrument.
Chico: Sort of like a shakuhachi.
Jason: Yes. One person had to build it correctly. Play it for the kids so that it was correct so they would give the next clue. Nicole is not doing well at all, but gets help from Amy/Jason to make sure they finish 4th. Sorry, if I am racing for a million, I help no one this late in the game.
Gordon: The question is who do you not want to see in the finals? I help them IF I want to race against them in the end.
Chico: You always help somebody you think you can beat.
Gordon: Right.
Jason: (headdesk) NO NO NO!
Chico: Just a bit of underhanded strategy, makes you look like you have somebody's back when you really don't.
Jason: It's NOT a strategy I would leave Travis and Nicole in the dust.
Gordon: In this case, I think the girls were the weakest team left, so I don't help in the hopes that the ladies can find a way to beat them
Jason: But they didn't know that the ladies were last?
Chico: I don't think they did, no.
Gordon: I think they had an idea, actualy. Regardless, I wouldn't have helped.
Chico: There you go then. It's another one of those anything goes games (though with a few more allowances for penalties and what not).
Gordon: The singing show on NBC though was more predictable
Chico: Pretty much.

Chico: Let's go over the lineup. First was James Wolpert... and all he wanted was Somebody to Love. It needed a little more energy. A little more panache. I don't know if you remember when George Michael sang it for A Concert for Freddy (you probably remember, Jason)...but he needed to do that.
Jason: I do. With the killer high note at the end
Chico: I needed a little bit of that action. Still, it was enough to survive for the week. Tessanne Chin's "Underneath It All"... well, it's Tessanne. You can't really not love what she does. And this song was tailor made for her, if you ever heard No Doubt sing it.
Gordon: Can I cut to the chase here?
Chico: ... sure why not.
Jason: Yup
Gordon: 8 singers left. 6 of them have had 'moments'. The other 2 haven't. Hence, the other 2 are gone.
Chico: Caroline and Ray. Accurate. (We'll get to that game later, though).
Gordon: And I think your final 4 will be just as predictable
Jason: Tessanne and who else?
Chico: Will, on account of the killer iTunes bonus points he gets. I'll throw in Jacquie and James.
Gordon: My 4 are Jacquie, Wolpert, Chin and Will
Chico: Because for some reason... James is really bringing in the votes, never mind that he's not that good...Gordon and I agree on something!
Jason: (checks the temperature of Hell...Michigan) Yup, Freezing.
Chico: By the way, if UNC can lose, can Michigan at least win? Let me get SOME happy going here. Okay, we're going to go into two reviews real quickly.
Jason: Go for it.
Chico: The first review... Who remembers I Survived a Japanese Game Show?
Gordon: Yes
Jason: I do.
Chico: It's back, it's pint-sized, and it's Canadian.
Jason: Another Fort Boyard? :)
Chico: This is Japanizi: Going, Going, Gong! The object is simple... four teams, three rounds, one winner of an IMPOSSIBLY LARGE TROPHY!
Jason: Thats it? :)
Chico: And it's all refereed by a manic Japanese host, a stoic judge, and a comic ninja. That's it. Oh, and rather than fly a bunch of kids to Japan, it's shot at CBC Studios Toronto. Makes it easier on everyone. Hey, it's DisneyXD. What do you want?
Jason: In other words, wackiness ensues
Gordon: The good: What made it not work with adults does work here. The irreverence works better with kids.
Chico: It does. It's all about the wackiness here. And in this case, it's ratcheted up to 11.
Jason: And love being silly
Chico: And we love watching kids be silly. The principles... Yoshi, the manic host, is... manic. Judge Masa, played by Japanese-Canadian actor Mark Hashimoto, is stoic and deadpan snarky. And then there's Shinobi... the ninja with the dubbed in one-liners.
Gordon: The bad: It would have been nice for them to be wackier with the format, which is as stale as 3 month old sushi.
Chico: It does get repetitive after a while.
Jason: They need different games you are saying?
Chico: Let's see... there's the chicken stunt... the penguin stunt... the sliding stunt...the sticky wall stunt...the subway get what I'm saying here.
Jason: Yeah more games in the rotation.

DisneyXD - 7:30p ET Weeknights
B- B B B

Gordon: The show is fun though. If the kids don't get tired of the same types of games, this could last for awhile. B-.
Chico: And more Embarrassing eliminations. I'm going to send this show through the Mystery Door with a B. The kids seem to dig it, but it needs a little more.
Jason: Same here. Good but not appointment TV. B.
Chico: Second review... Restaurant Express.
Jason: Oooh boy (tosses out the xerox masks)
Chico: Thank you.
Gordon: (grabs one)
Jason: The smell is strong HERE.
Chico: It's like Hell's Kitchen meets the Great Food Truck Race with Robert Irvine and a bus. That's pretty much it. Challenges, road trip, at the end of the game, your own restaurant.

Food - 9p ET Sundays
C D- D D

Jason: Nothing original. D.
Gordon: Ok the production values are still solid. This isn't wretched and I would watch it. Still, nothing new in the express. C.
Chico: Not original, not worth watching. But not completely worthless. D-. I would rather watch another episode of Guy's Grocery Games.
Jason: Which is A LOT more fun
Chico: Yup. Anything original or new in the Choppler?
Jason: The hams are starting to take out the Holiday decorations
Chico: I notice that Eve's stocking is larger than everyone else's. She must have HIGH expectations...
Gordon: (brings in catnip tree)
Chico: Eve's going to destroy the tree, isn't she?
Gordon: It's stress relief. Roll that beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Gordon: Thank you. Now Chico, you have a gift wrapped bat.
Chico: I do. And it has a knife at the end.
Jason: Watch the point
Chico: pokey pokey?

Second season of Cutthroat Kitchen... what happens when Mark Burnett meets the Food Network... launches December 15.

Gordon: Very cutthroat.
Chico: Very kitchen-y. And very much enjoyable.
Gordon: And keep that bayonet-bat away from me please :)
Chico: Okay, let me segue with this...

In the Variations of a Theme department...Sale of the Century begins the off-broadcast syndie reruns this week where they left off on Friday... BUT THEN! GSN kicks off its OB run of Shop 'til you Drop. Which is a good show... but they need more malls, and less Costcos.

Jason: Woot
Chico: More Pat Finn, less JD Roberto.
Jason: Yes again
Chico: Though if you were to hear me say that 15 years ago, you would've had me committed. Also this week, a show that was really a long time coming (literally). Gordon?
Gordon: in the Datebook this week...

Win, Lose or Pawn will be on CMT starting December 4th. It's hosted by our good friend Mr. Frank Nicotero.

Jason: Hey Frank!
Chico: If you want to watch it, you may want to set your DVRs now, it's on at 12:30 in the morning
Gordon: Or just get fully loaded on the DVRs
Jason: HIC Three guesses what that is for.

Jason: Season 9?
Chico: Season 9
Jason: Everyone is back and they need talent.
Chico: Gordon, I'm sure you know a few DJs. :-)
Gordon: If they need talent, I'm not sure the next people I introduce can help here.
Chico: Oh no.

Are YOU Smarter than...Kim Kardashian, who decides to straddle Kanye West for his new video. Did we mention she's doing it topless, which led her family to seek out an intervention?

Jason: Even KK's boobs couldn't save Yeezus. :)
Gordon: Mama, don't let your babies gromw up to show boobies.
Jason: heh.
Chico: I blame the mom... always wanting the spotlight and (^_^).
Gordon: Oh we'll get to mom later
Chico: We're going to get to a lot of things later, aren't we?
Gordon: Oh yea. And for Haterade...

Season's Greetings from Miley Cyrus. DEFINITELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

Chico: Why did you show me that!
Jason: Can't UNSEE
Gordon: I think Chico needs to take a vacation
Chico: Damn right. Back on Got Talent. A Worldwide phenomenon...

Arab's Got Talent has a finalist that isn't even Arabic or from the Pan Arab region. She's a lady from Boston who moved there to follow the Arabic rock music she's enamored with.

Jason: Say what?
Chico: Jessica Grout is a 23-year-old Anglo from Boston who speaks zero Arabic, but sang an Egyptian rock song in Arabic to earn a spot in the finals. Here's the clip. Take a look.

Chico: A very interesting character indeed. And quite hypnotic.
Gordon: The future of a new media ho
Jason: Luda

In this week's Media Ho Report, Wicked Shows up on Jepoardy, Chris Hardwick does Chicago, Carrie UNderwood does Twitter...

Chico: And gets blasted for not being Julie Andrews.

Blake, Xenia and Kelly doex X-Mas on the Voice, Ryan Tedder joins The Voice, Craig Ferguson does Celebrity Name Game...

Jason: Thats going to be big

Bob Harper comes out of the closet, Giada De Laurenitis cutes herself in a live Food Network special, and Dr. Who will be saying goodbye to Matt Smith on Christmas day.

Gordon: But none of them are the hoes of the week.
Jason: Hoes?
Gordon: Yes. We have Ben Flajnik - aka the Bachelor, who may have finally found a good woman.
Chico: Wait for it...
Gordon: the women in question being...
Chico: Wait for it...
Gordon: KRIS JENNER??!!?!?
Jason: (headdesk)
Jason: (headdesk) OW!
Chico: (megacans.wav)
Gordon: How did that Ashton Demi thing do again?
Jason: Divorce Court.
Chico: At least they're still friends.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Jason... here's a sledgehammer...
Jason: For what?
Chico: De-Kardashianing the Choppler.
Jason: Nah. Something better. (takes out the Lysol)
Chico: Ooooh.
Jason: (sprays)
Chico: Of course.
Jason: Much better. Lemony fresh.
Chico: While Jason disinfects our gear, we're going to take a break. Still to come, accuracy... or Kardashians, err, Idiocy.
Gordon: And we'll also bring back a game worth 1,000 words. You're reading WLTI., You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 people you don't want to be competing against at the end of The Amazing Race. Like any Jamaican athlete.
Chico: *does the Usain Bolt pose*
Jason: Wayne Rooney
Gordon: Any NFL player

(BrainVision has been brought to you by The Shopping Dead. Just avoid the malls this holiday season. You don't want to be a zombie - or join their ranks.)