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July 12, 2018


In Reruns Now
Beat the Clock
Family Feud
Let's Make a Deal
The Noise
The Price Is Right

Some game logo captures appear courtesy of Mike Klauss and Jay Lewis

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Throwback Thursday

Double Dare
by Chico Alexander
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

Nick: 8p/7c
Host: Liza Koshy with Marc Summers
Official WebsiteFacebookFacebook

Tonight on a special DD, former Nick co-stars reunite to play with their kids! Not those two, THESE two...
Team Server
Josh Server & his niece Kate
playing for St. Jude Children's Hospital
Team Spears
Jamie Lynn Spears & her daughter Maddie
playing for Children's Hospital of New Orleans

ROUND 1 TOSSUP: Pie in Your Eye. The teams had to transfer six pies from one table to another. The team who finishes gets $50 and control of Round 1.
- WINNERS: Team Spears ($50-$0)

Team Server steals $100 on a Dare about the accordion player known for "Eat It" ("Weird Al"), then survive a Double Dare on the golf term for 1 under par (birdie). But they'll need a Physical Challenge to keep their streak alive...

PHYSICAL CHALLENGE: Four Wave Intersection. One of you has to throw water balloons into a bucket that will leak in four directions. Your partner has to fill a cup on his helmet past the line in 30 seconds for $200.
- FAIL: Team Spears goes up to $250 to $300.

After a Double Dare on March 31 being declared a holiday honoring a Mexican-American activist (Cesar Chavez), Team Spears plays...

PHYSICAL CHALLENGE: Air Mail.  The team has to throw packages through a mail slot. Two in 30 wins $200.
- WIN: And at halftime, Team Spears leads, $450 to $300.

ROUND 2 TOSSUP: Kangaroo. Player 1 is in a kangaroo costume. Player 2 is in boxing gloves. Player 2 must toss baby joeys into Player 1's pouch. First to two wins $100 and control.
- WIN: Team Server ($400-$350)

Team Spears wins on a Dare for the translation of karaoke (empty orchestra), and Team Server wins on a Dare for... and we kid you not... this question: Pierre Escargot & Randy Quench were recurring characters from what classic Nickelodeon show? The answer is the show Josh was a part of... "All That". Team Spears gains control in time for a critical...

PHYSICAL CHALLENGE: Human Pincushion: In 30 seconds, swing four balloons to your partner, who has to pop them using her helmet for $400.
- WIN AND GAME to Team Spears, $1050 to $800. Team Server's charity gets $5000.

DOUBLE DARE OBSTACLE COURSE: On this special edition, each obstacle cleared wins  an extra $2000 to their charity total.
- 2) Go through the cherry jello in THE TANK
- 3) Search through THE MANHOLE
- 4) Salute your shorts in ONE NATION UNDERWEAR
- 5) PICK IT
- 7) Go through a BLOW OUT
- 8) Summit MOUNT ST. DOUBLE DARE for the full $16,000!

They get up to the mountain, but don't see the top for another $14,000, giving them a total of $15,050!

America Says
by Chico Alexander
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

GSN: 5p/4c
Host: John Michael Higgins
Official WebsiteFacebookFacebook
The DJs
Deeran, Niki, Crystal, Mitch
The Teachers
Ali, Ramiro, Lori, Sam

- DJs: when I think about surfing (B, BB, C, H, O, S, W) comes to mind. They get waves, sharks, and oceans for 300. The Teachers steal Beach Boys and bikinis, but not California or Hawaii to take 200.
- Teachers: the thing I find sexiest in a woman is her (B, C, E, F, H, L, V). They get legs, butt, voice, eyes, and hair, but the DJs steal confidence for 400 to the Teachers' 700. The other answer was figure.

- DJs: when I think about snow, I think about (C, C, D, F, S, S, W). They get cold, winter, Christmas, and snowmen for 800. The teachers can't come up with driving, Florida (C-Note:... okay, now I get it), and shoveling.
- Teachers: I'm on a special diet. No (C, D, FF, G, JF, RM, S) for me! They get carbs, dairy, and fried food for 600. The DJs steal the rest of the board - gluten, sugar, junk food, and red meat to lead, 2000 to 1300.

- DJs: I hardly ever use the word "money"; instead I call it (B, B, C, D, D, G, M). They score with cash, moolah, dough, and dinero for 1200. The Teachers fail to score on bucks, green or bread, meaning that the DJs lead, 3200 to 1300.
- The Teachers (a sweep and a sweep ONLY will do it): My mom's all-time favorite hobby is (C, DW, G, R, S, S, T). They get reading... gardening.. sewing... and that's it. They miss drinking wine, shopping, cooking, and traveling, meaning the DJs win it, 3200 to 2200!

- Q1: The best gift for a newborn is (D) - diapers
- Q2: I love to put ketchup on (FF, H) - French fries, hamburgers
- Q3: My favorite famous bear is (S, WTP, YB) - Smokey, Winnie-the-Pooh, Yogi Bear
- Q4: I'm always impressed when I see a good (A, C, C, R) collection - art, car... and time. They miss coin and record.

Big Brother
by Chico Alexander & Jason Block
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

CBS: 8p/7c
Host: Julie Chen
Official WebsiteFacebookFacebook
bird, new, square, twitter iconInstagramAvailable on the CBS App
  THE STORY SO FAR! It's Day 23 inside the Big Brother House, where Kaitlyn is feeling the weight of being HOH, Tyler successfully plotted and executed a plan to backdoor Swaggy C, and Swaggy C is taking it as well as can be expected...

"I'm gonna make everybody's life a living hell."

... Or not. He and Winston are on the block, but we all know what the MO is. Heck, even Kaitlyn is proud of making "such a big move." Stupid, but big. Now she has to make nice with the very alliance she willfully chose to betray.

There is however a SMALL chance that the FOUTTEs can force a tiebreaker, if they can swing one of the floaters. Meanwhile, Swaggy notes that all he needs to do is not blow up between now and eviction. There's also the Power App Sam is sitting on that can give Swaggy a second chance. That she even considers it says that something in Swaggy's game is at least working.

LIVE EVICTION #2: This week, the vote to evict is 7. As a reminder, Winston and Swaggy C will not vote, nor will sitting HOH Kaitlyn EXCEPT in the event of a tie.
- Bayleigh: WINSTON
- Brett: SWAGGY
- Kaycee: SWAGGY
- Tyler: SWAGGY
- Rockstar: WINSTON
- Haleigh: WINSTON
- Faysal: WINSTON
- Scottie: SWAGGY
- Angela: SWAGGY
- Rachel: SWAGGY (lock)
EVICTED: Chris "Swaggy C" Williams

HOH COMPETITION #3: Product Launch. You'll watch two short videos about startups. Then you'll have to answer true-false questions about said videos. Answer incorrectly, and you're eliminated. Last one standing is the new HOH.
- TIE: Rachel & Scottie.
- TIEBREAKER: In seconds, how long was "Microchip Mayhem"? Scottie said "1199". Rachel said "12,500". Correct answer... 475.

HOH: Scottie Salton, who goes from marked to saved to the big room in the span of a week. The next week should go smoothly for the FOUTTEs, if only Scottie hadn't voted to send Swaggy out the door.

The Four: Battle for Stardom
by Chico Alexander & Gordon Pepper
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

Fox: 8p/7c
Host: Fergie with Sean "Diddy" Combs, DJ Khaled, Meghan Trainor & Charlie Walk
Official WebsiteAvailable in High Definition
Facebookbird, new, square, twitter iconInstagramInstagram
  Two weeks ago, Ali Caldwell unseated Whitney Reign to take slot #3, while James, Jesse, and Sharaya all held fast to their chairs.
Jesse Kramer
two weeks
James Graham
Essex, UK
four weeks
Ali Caldwell
Woodbridge, NJ
Sharaya J
four weeks

As a reminder, only a unanimous vote of the panel will earn a challenge to the Four. Then the audience decides who stays and who goes.

First up, the Four are back together to sing "Can't Feel My Face" by The Weeknd.

Our first challenger of the night is Dylan Jacob (16; Las Vegas), a hip-hop artist who at one point in his life shared a studio apartment with his family of 10. He wants to be the one tonight, and it all starts with Craig Mack's "Flava in Your Ear". It was in the judges' ears, because they decide to give him a challenge. Epic rap battle coming, because here comes Sharaya.
- Sharaya: "She's a Bitch", Missy Elliott
- Dylan: "Dat Cheese", original song
WINNER: ... SHARAYA! That's five in a row!

Jade Milan (20; Baltimore) was cast as Nala in "The Lion King" on Broadway. Now she's ready to go from the stage to the big stage with "Grenade" by Bruno Mars. It was a bit underwhelming at parts, and the judges aren't really interested in giving her another chance... so they don't.

Ronnie Smith Jr. (25; Miami) works at his family's funeral home, and he's been singing at memorial services since he was 9. He won't have to if it works out with him on "U Don't Have to Call" by Usher. He's got a nice falsetto and a nice stage presence. Diddy, because he likes to say "eat" on this show, isn't sure he's ready to eat. But he gives the benefit of the doubt and grants the challenge. Ronnie ends up calling out the Brit.
- James: "On Bended Knee", Boyz II Men
- Ronnie: "Let Me Love You", Mario
WINNER: .... JAMES! Another one, and he too is up to five!

Next is Noah Barlass (26; Welch, OK), who was bullied for his love of music. That love put him on this stage with this song, "The Middle" by Zedd & Maren Morris. Meghan thinks he's different in the best possible way. Diddy didn't like the stage presence, and Khaled wants to see him fight for his life.

... and that's what he's going to do. It's time, Jesse.
- Jesse: "Nothing Compares 2 U", Sinead O'Connor
- Noah: "Who You Are", Jessie J.
WINNER: .... NOAH! Jesse is unseated!

Finally, we have Kateri Bluford (23; Milwaukee), who grew up performing gospel and being ridiculed for her weight. She's been told that she has a healing voice, but will it work wonders on "I'm Getting Ready" by Tasha Cobbs Leonard? Meghan says she has a tone all her own. But Diddy... can't we get him a sandwich or something, he likes to talk about being hungry. And Ali is all "Eff the judges, I'll take you on my damn self!" ... well, no, but she's ready to rumble. But are the judges? Yes.
- Ali: "Somebody Loves You Baby", Patti LaBelle
- Kateri: "Because You Loved Me", Celine Dion

So to review, Jesse, after being safe all of two weeks, is out, and Noah Barlass is in. The question now becomes... can anyone dethrone original Four members James and Sharaya J? Stay tuned.

Funny You Should Ask
by Chico Alexander
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

Syn: Check local listings
Host: Jon Kelley
Official WebsiteFacebookFacebook
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San Diego
personal assistant
Gabriel Iglesias
Natasha Leggero
"Another Period"
Byron Allen
Jon Lovitz
Sherri Shepherd
"Trial & Error"
Louie Anderson

ROUND 1: Cameron won the toss, so he gets Jon, Louie, and Natasha, getting Louie & Natasha for $200. Dominique is left with Sherri, Byron, and Gabriel, getting... all three for $300.

ROUND 2: Swapping the sides out, and Dominique continues her perfect streak with $900 to Cameron's $600.

ROUND 3: Cameron ties at the end of Q1... and takes the lead at the end of his Q2, right before Dominique ties it back at $1200. This is going to be a crucial Q3 for all players.
- Cameron to Natasha: true or false: there is a mobile library where you can rent real people & listen to their stories. She says false. Cameron agrees... but the Human Library does indeed exist.
- Dominique to win with Gabriel: true or false: the online service Afternote allows you to record messages for loved ones to listen to after you've died. Fluffy says true. Dominique agrees... and she wins, $1500 to $1200!

- Q1: According to, in 1986 who became the oldest jockey to ever win the Kentucky Derby: Willie Shoemaker, Willie Nelson, or Willie Makitbeforehedies? She says "Shoemaker"... and we make with another question.
- Q2: Cheetos created a new perfume which is called... L'Orange, Zest, Cheetau, or You've Hit Rock Bottom? She says "Cheetau"... and we're playing for the money.
- Q3: According to Guinness, the record for the longest dance marathon belongs to a woman who danced continuously for over how many hours: 123, 133, 143, 153, 163, or... (Jon: "Until I ran out of ones.")? She says 123... give that lady her money!

The Gong Show
by Chico Alexander
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

ABC: 10p/9C
Host: Tommy Maitland with Wilder Zoby & the Gong Show Orchestra
Official WebsiteFacebookFacebook
bird, new, square, twitter iconInstagramHulu

Jimmy Kimmel
"Jimmy Kimmel Live!"
Will Arnett
"Arrested Development"
Anthony Anderson
"black-ish" & "To Tell the Truth"

And now, the talent show that America deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

As always, if the judges do not like an act, they are GONGED. If they do, they give a score of 0 to 10 based on nothing more than sheer entertainment value. Highest score wins the trophy, the money, and the braaaaaaagging rights.

And also as always, a disclaimer: both contestant and non-contestant acts may appear on this show. Any act not given the opportunity to be judged and scored featured non-contestant talent.

Turn on your tellies, turn off your brains, we're just here for funsies.

Let's get to the show! (and the judges' scores)

- Famiglia Gentile: The parents are the ringmasters of this circus, taming their kids - lions. (Jimmy: 9, Will: 10, Anthony: 9) - 28 out of a possible 30
- The Duck of Karaoke: Ever see a grown man in a duck costume sing in a wading pool? You want to? No? That's what I thought. GONG!
- Just Jesse The Jack: dog tricks. (Jimmy: 8, Will: 10, Anthony: 8) - 26
- Slinky Josh: Amazing tricks with a rainbow Slinky. (Jimmy: 8, Will: 5, Anthony: 5) - 18
- Daisy the Cheerful Vampire: She is the magician trying to escape a cardboard box being pierced with solid wooden stakes while breathing in garlic. Easy trick, easy escape (Jimmy: 7, Will: 6, Anthony: 7) - 20
- Junior & Jammin' G: battling dancers. One's a lanky white dude. The other is his mother. Will doesn't like either of them. GONG!
- Kid Cruise Control: A girl dances with wacky-waving-inflatable-tube men. (Jimmy: 8, Will: 10, Anthony: 8) - 26
- Singing Monkey Butts: They're singing out of holes in a mural, painted to resemble... you guessed it... monkey butts. But alas, they're full of it. GONG!
- Yikamen Bros: Balancing on each others' heads. (Jjimmy: 6, Will: 5, Anthony: 3) - 14
- Under Construction: He's a construction worker who sings opera, "O Mio Babbino, Caro" to be exact. (Jjimmy: 6, Will: 5, Anthony: 6) - 17
- Slim Chance: He balances a grill on his head... and tosses things inside of it! (Jimmy: 8, Will: 7, Anthony: 6) - 21

Time to award money. Tonight's check and trophy package goes to... FAMIGLIA GENTILE!

by Chico Alexander
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

Syn/YesTV: 7:30p/6:30c; also check listings
Host: Alex Trebek with Jimmy McGuire, Kelly Miyahara & Sarah Whitcomb-Foss
Official WebsiteFacebookFacebook
bird, new, square, twitter iconInstagram
  Wes is hoping to succeed where others have failed - by getting on the Tournament board...

Wes Hazard
Stoughton, MA
standup comic & storyteller

Michelle Cabral
elementary school music teacher
Johanna Schaufeld
The Bronx, NY
piano technician & woodworker

JEOPARDY! ROUND: The Month of July, Ad Council Classics, You're Showing Your Age, 10-Letter "M" Words, Check In to the Pop Culture Hotel, Slayer

Wes starts with $200 10-Letter "M" Words. Michelle finds the Daily Double under $800 Ad Council Classics. She wagers just $200 on this: a 1983 campaign introduced the phrase "Friends don't let friends" do this. "What is drive drunk?" That's right... but she said "do drugs" to drop to $1200. She ends up with $4000 to $4800 for Wes. Johanna on $3000 gets the board to start...

DOUBLE JEOPARDY!: Flip That House!, Math & Science, Auld British Slang, Colorful Places, Alexander Graham Bell, "Ten"tertainment.

... with $800 Math & Science, where Johanna finds the first Daily Double under $2000. She goes for it on this: the name of this long-vanished supercontinent is from the Greek for "all" & "earth". "What is Pangaea?" FOR THE DOUBLER, $7600! Michelle finds the other under $2000 Colorful Places. She wagers $4000 on this: an HBO folm & a Broadway musical bear the name of this Long Island estate owned by Jackie Kennedy's aunt. "What is Grey Gardens?" RIGHT for $14,400! She ends up with $15,200 to $14,400 for Johanna. Wes can spoil with $6400.

FINAL JEOPARDY! in "1970s Bestsellers": the author of this novel thought of calling it "Silence in the Water". Correct response: what is "Jaws"?

Wes is right... but so is Michelle to win $18,400! Wes leaves with $53,196.

Match Game
by Chico Alexander & Jason Huhn
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

ABC: Sunday 10p/9C
Host: Alec Baldwin
Official WebsiteFacebookFacebook
bird, new, square, twitter iconInstagramInstagram

Ryan Racedo
Rose Lee
Carson, CA
works at the DMV
Jack McBrayer
Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2
Ellie Kemper
"Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt"
John Early
"Search Party"
Yvette Nicole Brown
"Elena of Avalor"
Donald Faison
Amy Sedaris
"At Home with Amy Sedaris"

ROUND 1B: Bill Clinton is loving life out of the spotlight. While everyone was focused on Hillary's emails, nobody noticed that Bill's inbox was full of ads for (BLANK).
- Ryan goes with Viagra. Jack is in... so is Yvette and Donald. Ellie had McDonald's, John had Pottery Barn, and Amy had stain remover.

ROUND 1A: Valiant Vinny may be a prince, but he's no Prince Charming. Last night at the castle gate, he called out "Hey Rapunzel! Forget about your long hair, let down your (BLANK)!"
- Rose goes wtih underwear... which would work, except John went with guard, and everyone else (who've been on the panel before) went with boobs. Ryan leads, 3-0.

ROUND 2B: Sad news. Last night I witnessed Frosty the Showman turning tricks on the Lower East Side. Apparently for $20 Frosty will let you play with his (BLANK).
- Ryan went literal with "snowballs". Everyone else went figurative with his carrot. Rose needs to match 4 to win.
ROUND 2A: Kenny said, "The GPS in my car is so rude..." (HOW RUDE IS IT?!) "... Yesterday I asked for directions to the mall, and it told me to get (BLANK)!"
- Rose went with the definitive answer in this reporter's humble opinion... "Lost". So did everyone in the top tier. Yvette.. had "Waze". Donald had... "The (slide whistle) out of here you don't know where the mall is..." And Amy had... "screwed". Screwed indeed. Let's go to a tiebreak!

TIEBREAKER B: This new adult version of Twister is really challenging... (HOW CHALLENGING IS IT?!) .. The hardest part is when the spinner tells you to put your right (BLANK) on red.
- Ryan went with "breast".... and matched nobody. We had ball, ear, ball, foot, nut, and ball. Possible 4 there.
TIEBREAKER A: Chelsea said "My friend is so cheap..." (HOW CHEAP IS HE?!) "... I wanted her to take me to the French Riviera, but instead she took me out to get French (BLANK)!"
- Rose went with fries... And Jack has the match to win!

SUPER MATCH starts with an Audience Match of... RAISE YOUR _____.
- Yvette: Hand
- Jack: Glass
- Donald: Eyebrow
Rose: HAND

$2000: Glass
$3000: Voice
$5000: HAND!

Now we're gonna try and turn that into $25,000 with Yvette on this Head to Head.. DOUBLE _____. Rose gets into "Trouble"... And trouble for her coming, she's won $25,000!

Next two victi... err, contestants!

Dawn McNairy
Granada Hills, CA
Lindsay McAloney
Sussex, NJ
high school teacher
Jack McBrayer
Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2
Ellie Kemper
"Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt"
John Early
"Search Party"
Yvette Nicole Brown
"Elena of Avalor"
Donald Faison
Amy Sedaris
"At Home with Amy Sedaris"

ROUND 1A: Marcy said, "I had a terrible date with my dentist. Right before the goodnight kiss, he told me to (BLANK)!"
- Dawn says "brush"... which matches only Donald. Everyone else said "floss".
ROUND 1B: Justin Bieber has had some trouble performing his Latin pop hit "Despacito" in concert. That's because the only Spanish word he knows is (BLANK)!
- Lindsay went with "Español". Jack has... marijuana. So does Ellie. John has piña. Yvette has... Jesus. Donald has "Despacito"... and so does Amy. Real pitcher's duel with Dawn up, 1 to 0.

ROUND 2A: The retired home beauty pageant was an amazing success... that is, until Gertie tripped during the swimsuit competition, and her (BLANK) fell out.
- Dawn says "teeth".. and gets four including a qualified match with Yvette (denture). Ellie had "goiter"... which is really a fourth-street answer. Lindsay needs to match 5.
ROUND 2B: Pete said, "My girlfriend's new voice mail is shockingly specific. I called last night, and it said, 'To apologize, press 1. To send me flowers, press 2. For (BLANK), press 3'."
- Lindsay went with "your ring back". This reporter would've went with butt stuff. But it wouldn't have matched sex. Dawn wins, 4-0!

SUPER MATCH: The Audience Match be... CENTER _____.
- Jack: Stage
- Amy: Vision
- Yvette: Fold

$2000: of Attention
$3000: Fold
$5000: STAGE

Can Dawn turn that into $25,000? She'll try and match Jack on CURLY _____. She said "hair"... which works. But Jack had fries.