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July 17, 2014

In Reruns Now:
Cash Cab
Family Feud
Let's Ask America
Let's Make a Deal
The Price Is Right
Wheel of Fortune
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire

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Best Round Ever

by Chico Alexander
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Comedy Central: 12:01a/11:01p
Host: Chris Hardwick
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Wil Wheaton
playing for @StinaSpach
Aisha Tyler
playing for @ThomasBlueberry
Kevin Pereira
playing for @jasonbice15

While someone was drinking a gallon of honey while covered in bees (BTW: not a smart idea, folks), we were Rapidly Refreshing over this TAG TEAM THURSDAY! Tonight's #HashtagWars, #DepressingDisney. Wil leads with 900 to Kevin's 800 and Aisha's 600.

Next up, it's Get a Room: Gamer's Lair Edition and Low Cost Cosplay. Tonight's Live Challenge: Blurred Whines. You can blur yourself on a new app called Awkward, allowing you to confess your darkest blurriest secrets. Which you are about to do. The chick from "The Talk" gets 1000 from this: "I love to do it doggy style. I get naked and scoot my ass on the carpet while my husband yells NO!"

We're finishing things out this week with Google Minus. The Daily Dot reports that Google+ will now use whatever name you want! And Kevin, with 2700, your time on this show, much like your time on G4 and your time REPORTEDLY, can't stress that enough, on "Let's Ask America".... has come to an end. Now you know how I felt on January 7, 2013 (C-Note: never forget).

FTW: an ad on Craigslist has a moon bounce for the kids... and perhaps for mommy. Please answer this ad for a rock-hard harlequin. The winner: "Does the clown with the boner come with the kids already inside or do I have to get those myself? Asking for a friend." That sounds like Aisha... IT IS! SHE DEFEATS THE WHEATON!

Remember, today's funny becomes Monday's source material. Follow the game online @midnight.

by Chico Alexander
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

Syn/CHCH: 7:30p/6:30c; also check listings
Host: Alex Trebek
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  It's the next to the last game, with Jerome playing against...
Jerome Azbell

Smyrna, TN
library reference clerk
Katie Wroblewski
Ypsilanti, MI
graduate student in history
Megan Gardner
Columbia, MD
electrical engineer

Jerome starts with $200 Literary Significant Others. At the TV timeout, the champ is in the lead with $2800 to $1600 for Katie. Megan is on $600.

Katie finds the Daily Double under $800 National Scenic Byways. She fronts $1000 on this: a California scenic byway takes you through this place; a 1907 ad about it asked, "Would you enjoy a trip to Hell?" "What is Death Valley?" That would be right, but the PCH drops her to $2600, where she ends the round against Jerome's $7200. Megan has $1000 and the board to start Double Jeopardy!...

... with $400 Country Music Movers & Shakers, finding the first Daily Double under $1600 Signs & Symbols. Megan bets $2000, and let's go to the lab with Jimmy... "In a Gilbert Stuart portrait, behind Washington are many symbolic touches, like the rainbow, showing faith in the future, the copy of The Federalist, symbolizing unity under the Constitution, and on the chair, this botanical symbol of victory. "What is a laurel wreath?" That would be right, but Megan's olive branch drops her to $4200. Katie finds the other under $2000 A River Runs Between Them. She fronts $1400 on this: Brazil & Argentina (it's named for a third country). "What is... Paraguay?" Close, it was Uruguay, leaving her with $6400 to Jerome's $9200. Megan has $4200.

FINAL JEOPARDY! in "16th Century Scientists": it is often said of this man that he "stopped the sun and moved the earth". Correct response: who was Nicolaus Copernicus?

The ladies are right. Jerome isn't. Katie wins $9201! Jerome leaves with $14,999

by Chico Alexander
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

History: 10p/9c & 10:30p/9:30c
Host: Christopher Titus with Rick Harrison, Corey Harrison & Austin "Chumlee" Russell
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Las Vegas
former military, mother of two
parts unknown
web designer
Pawn Stars
Las Vegas
proprietors of the World Famous Gold & Silver Pawn Shop

In round 1, our players are going to play for a 1925 Gibson Mastertone banjo worth $3000. Hassan comes out on top with $400 to Audrey's $100. The Pawn Stars have $200, but Hassan has a new banjo... for now. Bonus Question for $150...

In season 3, what did the Pawn Stars shoot out of a mortar?
a) Teddy bear
b) Bowling ball
c) Watermelon
d) Piggy bank

Audrey says B, Hassan has D. It was B, so Audrey is up to $250! 

Round 2... sees a Great Western train replica with a steam driven engine worth $6500. Hassan maintains the lead with $1000 to Audrey's $650. Rick banks $800, so he and Hassan are going one on one in the Best of 10.

Up for grabs in the Haggle of a Lifetime, four Erte lithographs, "The Four Aces", worth $8000. Hassan picks up 6 of the 10, the Pawn Stars... also get 6! That makes the final haggle THAT MUCH MORE INTERESTING. He stars the bid at $16,662. Rick knocks it down to $5000... but Hassan walks from the deal.... and good news. In Vegas, the ties go to the player! Hassan walks away with $18,500!

In the nightcap, Glenn wins a pair of antique saddles... but Frank pulls out the upset with $800 and an Evel Knievel signed photo to Glenn's $700. The Pawn Stars beat Frank in the final round, 8-2, so they get to keep their saddles and a Space Lander bike. The question... can Frank out-negotiate Rick? Final offer is $4500... DEAL for $4500!

by Chico Alexander
bird, new, square, twitter icon @DinoRAlexander

MTV: 10:30p/9:30c
Host: Eddie Huang with Yassir Lester, Jason Quinn & Chrissy Teigen
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  Tonight, three amateur chefs will use insane ingredients and whatever's left in their fridges to come up with awesome late-night snacks. Winner gets $1000, a place in the Snack-Off Cookbook and the illustrious Golden Spork.
Compton, CA
New York City
fitness expert
Orange County, CA
college student

In Round 1, you have to RAID THE KITCHEN for whatever you can find. You have 20 minutes to create a dish based on this theme: Date Night. We've added a few... aphrodisiacs.

Jade: YOLO Toast (spinach with champagne on garlic toast)
Jacques: Sensual Salmon on garlic toast
Danielle: Butta' Between the Buns (Cinnamon rolls with peanut butter)


In the Final Snack-Off, our players will have full access to Snacktopia. They will have 25 minutes to make their signature snack, which MUST feature in some way the Mystery Munchie. Today's Mystery Munchie... hot dogs.

Danielle: Hot Sex on Toast (with cream cheese and horseradish)
Jade: Callejon Calzone

IT'S JUDGMENT TIME!!! The Snack-Off Champion.... in an upset, DANIELLE!