Episode 24.14 - Chico Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Week
September 7

Chico: I'm Chico Alexander... and this is my terrible... horrible... no good... very bad... week.
Gordon: Aw. Poor Chico. Tell us about your week.
Chico: It started when my old computer Pidge decided to go (^_^) up.
Gordon: (plays taps)
Jason: (Silence)
Chico: I couldn't do anything with the site. Which made me sad... and kinda mental.
Gordon: More mental than what you usually are?
Jason: LOL
Chico: If you can believe that, yes
Jason: Scary.
Chico: Luckily, I got my brother Gordon Pepper here. You really went to bat, I really appreciate it...
Gordon: No prob.
Chico: And to top it all off.... the Palins STILL won't go away.
Agent Josh: Heh-heh-heh
Gordon: And you had that hurricane thing and that North Carolina Academic Scandal thing.
Chico: Yep. Still going to beat up on LSU. And if Rachel Delucci is watching this... my apologies in advance.
Gordon: So maybe this show will make Chico feel better.
Chico: Maybe so. Let's get it crackin'. From somewhere in America, the Chico Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Jason: YAY!
Agent Josh: Yee-hah!
Gordon: And looking to make Chico's week better are our special guests. From Brooklyn, where he's having a pretty good week, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: Outside of my allergies, life's good. Thanks again for allowing me here.
Chico: And also having a good week, from PA... which is just New York in denial.... Agent Josh is back in this...
Agent Josh: Actually I am about to have a good week myself. Who wants Birthday Cake?
Chico: Yay!
Agent Josh: My 20-*AHEM* (something) birthday
Jason: You young'uns have no idea about b-days :)
Gordon: Happy Birthday, Josh! Birthdays always seem to make Chico feel better.
Chico: Yeah... though it begins with 3 now, so...
Agent Josh: Might I ask what else makes Chico feel better?
Gordon: We start with something that will make Chico feel good - this past week's America's Got Talent.



Chico: Hey, I'm feeling better already...
Agent Josh: Woohoo!
Chico: You know why? Gordon's favorite dancing couple are on their 15th chance!
Agent Josh: LOL
Gordon: Note to America. Usually, I like you're voting tastes. This week, you suck.
Agent Josh: That's what I was saying to myself when those two kiddos got through.
Chico: Yep. Big Bored Me.
Agent Josh: Uh-oh

Chico: This one's called "One More Chance And THAT'S IT, We're Cutting You Off".
Agent Josh: LOL
Chico: Finalists me, G.
Gordon: Your 5 finalists are...Fighting Gravity, which I don't have a problem with.
Jason: Not at all.
Agent Josh: Neither do I.
Jason: They could get a deal even if they don't win
Chico: Oh yeah.
Agent Josh: I tell you what, they keep adding to the act. It's not a one-trick pony. I liked the turn-table Matrix effect they pulled off.
Chico: I don't care what anyone says, they are a favorite to win. Top 3 at LEAST.
Jason: They are.
Chico: Though if they want to get that high, they're going to have to do something even MORE amazing.
Gordon: Jackie Evancho. which I also don't have a problem with.
Jason: Opera singing kid right?
Gordon: Yep.
Chico: Jackie Evancho... ALSO top 3.
Agent Josh: Big Ups To The Pittsburgh Kid!!!
Chico: Also amazing.
Agent Josh: And yes, that is her real voice. This is not lip-synched, no auto-tune.
Chico: That's all her, dude.
Gordon: Magician Michael Grasso, which I also don't have a problem with, though it was more on presentation and less on a trick that we've seen done countless times on the show before.
Chico: Not much of a threat, but still, he'll do JUST FINE somewhere.
Jason: nope
Agent Josh: We've seen the surprise the judges from behind trick, but...yes, Presentation was better than Murray.
Chico: Yup. That's right out of the book, the surprise the audience mark from behind trick. And you know, it's rather easy to do, that whole trick... once you know the trick.
Gordon: Extreme Cyclist Jeremy VanSchoonhoven...wha?
Chico: Jeremy Vanschoonhoven? Excuse me?
Jason: WHAT?
Agent Josh: NOW I digress, young man. I liked Mr. Jeremy V
Chico: I liked him, too. Doesn't mean that he was finals good. We're looking for a Vegas act... not the return of Unbeatable Banzuke.
Gordon: It was superbike on Unbeatable Banzuke.
Chico: Yes, but it's entertaining.
Gordon: But do you really want to see that for 90 minutes in Vegas?
Chico: Not for 90 minutes in Vegas would I pay for that.
Jason: Nope
Agent Josh: If Tony Hawk can get multiple millions of dollars for riding a plank of wood on a ramp, this kid can get multiple millions of dollars for hopping around on difficult to ride surfaces...JEEZ! Do I sound like a geezer!
Gordon: You just turned 20. Welcome to Geezerland.
Agent Josh: No...I said it was my 20-AHEM birthday....that means I'm over twenty.
Gordon: Here then (Gives Josh Metamucil)
Agent Josh: No thank you.
Gordon: Now the last one was the judges pick between Alice Tan Ridley and the Studio One Young Beast Society. You knew the judges would pick the dance crew over the singer, and they did.
Agent Josh: Yah. That was a bad call by the judges.
Gordon: I don't think it was a bad call. She picked an oversung song with no originality behind it. EVERYONE does a Whitney Houston song. She should have picked something more current.
Agent Josh: Ms. Ripley's singing was definitely up there, but I also agree that there's A TON of singing talent in this. And with the exception of Terry Fator (who is a ventriloquist), EVERY YEAR IT'S BEEN A SINGER.
Gordon: It's called America's Got Talent, not America's got singers.
Chico: I'm looking at the top 10... five are singers. That's HALF. There's a very real possibility that we're going to have an all-singer final, but I don't think it's going to happen.
Agent Josh: I actually like the fact that we have the variety acts.
Chico: I think Fighting Gravity upends and busts the door down.
Jason: I agree with Chico.
Gordon: I don't. I think Evancho wins. But it's not the finals. We have ONE. MORE. ROUND.
Gordon: We have the Final 5. out of the following 10: Anna & Patryk, Christina & Ali, Taylor Matthews, Michael Grimm, Prince Poppycock, Michael Grasso, Studio One Young Beast Society, Jeremy VanSchoonhoven, Jackie EVancho, and Fighting Gravity.
Chico: If I had to pick a top 5 right now... Give me Taylor Matthews... Give me Fighting Gravity... I'll take a little Michael Grasso... with a side of Studio One Young Beast Society... and some Jackie Evancho for dessert.
Jason: PoppyCock, Evancho, Beast, Grav and Grasso
Agent Josh: Ok, mine (in no particular order) : Evancho, Fighting Gravity, Grasso, Prince Poppycock and (I hate to say it) Anna And Patryk get through on the judge's choice.
Gordon: I have Taylor Matthews, Michael Grimm, Fighting Gravity, Jackie Evancho and Michael Grasso.
Chico: If Anna & Patryk get through on a judge's choice, I quit the show.
Agent Josh: I'll hold you to that you know.
Chico: I know.
Agent Josh: And don't knock Prince Poppycock
Gordon: I won't knock him at all. I think he has a shot to get to the finals also.
Chico: I'm not knocking him. I'm just saying America won't vote him through.
Agent Josh: ANYONE who can sing Pagliacci.....WOW!
Chico: Not if history has anything to say about it.
Jason: See Neil E. Boyd. Case rested.
Chico: If you are the AGT audience, are you going to vote through a Pierrot singing Pagliacci?
Jason: Yes :)
Chico: Well there you go. I know who WON'T win. tee hee.
Agent Josh: Depends on how well he does. And since Prince Poppycock does well. Not good enough to win, but I could see him at the Met.
Gordon: Not doing so well this week: Prince Ragan.



Jason: Good while it lasted
Chico: Enzo needed the veto badly... He fought like hell for it.. He got it. He used it.
Agent Josh: It was vital for his survival.
Chico: So it was either going to be Britney or Ragan. Turned out that it was Ragan. Meow meow.
Agent Josh: Adios.
Gordon: Hayden and Enzo are an alliance couple. Lane and Britney are an alliance couple. Ragan saw his alliance buddy Matt go out the door.
Jason: Simple math
Chico: Couldn't be simpler. One of these couples is on the block this week. And seeing that Hayden is HOH, it's not a challenge to figure out which.
Agent Josh: Heh-heh-heh
Gordon: Lane and Britney are on the block, but it's really Britney who is in deep trouble. Lane/Enzo/Hayden are still The Brigade, and if she doesn't win the Power of Veto, she's gone.
Jason: Pretty much
Chico: If she does... bye bye Enzo. Meow meow.
Gordon: Lane mistakenly thinks that he can win in the finals if he takes Britney with him. I don't think he wins against anyone.
Chico: Umm... Let me think about that... YEAH?!
Jason: Who is the fave to win now?
Gordon: We will get more into this next week in our weekly pick 'em special, but 3 out of the 4 people left in the house can win.
Chico: Lane... obviously cannot.
Jason: Right
Chico: Veto just became that much more important... again. Yes, again.
Agent Josh: You said it.
Gordon: So is winning video game challenges.
Agent Josh: (1up jingle)
Chico: This week on The Ultimate Gamer, we hit the ice with NHL 10.
Jason: E.A. Sports...
Agent Josh: It's in the game
Chico: Now entering Samsung Stadium are our combatants...Yaz, who was last in the round... and Sebastian, who was called out by Jake... therefore by courtesy, "The Pentagon". Yes, friends... it's alliance time again.
Gordon: They finished in last and second to last, respectively, so not a big surprise.
Chico: But Yaz ends up on the winning end, sending Sebastian back to his couch, his HD, and his munchies.
Jason: Oh well
Gordon: But who doesn't like munchies?
Chico: Hey, munchies are good... a title and 100K is better.
Agent Josh: Yah
Chico: And Kat... still alive for some reason...
Agent Josh: It's nice to be invited to the game, but ya wanna walk out with the trophy.
Gordon: Like what you'd get for rearranging a car.



Chico: We're at the end of the road for the Ultimate Car Build-Off. We go to Lake Placid where the final three team, Atlanta Air Exchange, Alternative Auto Tech, and ES Motorsports meet to play for $100,000. The challenge... make a car that would drive on water.
Gordon: A Jesus Car!
Jason: HOLY COW!
Chico: No, Holy car. For the winners, $100k an the right to be called Kings of Customs. All they have to do is drive 300 yards on water.
Agent Josh: This also reminds me of a few challenges on Top Gear. And the epic fails that those challenges brought.
Chico: Well, it's more like 100 on land, 100 on water, and 100 on land again. They're judged on 10 points visual, 30 points performance. Most points wins. At the end of the visual, Alternative Auto and Atlanta Air Exchange are tied at 9. ES has 8. Pretty good stuff. ES has a one-gear Jeepboat...and they get stuck in the water.
Agent Josh: (losing horns)
Chico: Motor chokes, and after almost a minute, they're back in the hunt. Still, they're going down and they're going down hard. LITERALLY, they start sinking.
Agent Josh: Glug Glug
Chico: Basically. So it's a two-man race. Let's go to Atlanta's air boat thingy. They FLY. Like wow. Their final time is 21.5 seconds.
Jason: Niiiiiice.
Chico: Can Alternative Automotive beat that? They have a Jeep with really big tires. They... sink as well.
Agent Josh: (Losing horns)
Chico: So what did we learn?
Agent Josh: Cars can't go on the water?
Chico: No. No they can't. Jeeps... even more so. But get a car and get an airboat engine... you get $100,000, the UCB championship and Gordon gives you a trophy.
Agent Josh: (fanfare)
Chico: So give'em a trophy, G.
Gordon: Here ya go.



Agent Josh: Cool. It's got a car on top.
Chico: We go from winners to whiners. Michael Costello can't seem to buy a break on Project Runway. I mean, sure he's at the top of his game and running neck and neck with the EVIL GRETCHEN... but that means nothing when Ivy is spreading stories of him saying that she's the bitch of the show. Granted... she IS the bitch of the show, and were Quisla awake to do the show, she'd say that... but Michael had nothing to do with that.
Jason: Are you shocked there is rumor and innuendo of the show?
Chico: ... not really, no. So not only does he have THAT to deal with, he also has everyone else ganging up on him telling anyone who'll listen how he can't sew. He's running par with Gretchen, so obviously he can do something.
Gordon: True, but at least they are still ON the show. Peach - no longer on the show.
Chico: That sucks. I liked Peach.
Gordon: And I don't know if you can say that Michael can't get a break. He's won 2 of the last 3 challenges.
Chico: He has. But everyone is out to get him. And someone always has to remind somebody (Ivy mostly). "This is not about Michael anymore."
Agent Josh: LOL
Jason: You have to win it FOR YOU.
Chico: That is correct.
Gordon: Someone needs to remind Ivy that this is about fashion. Ivy is the only person left that hasn't been in the 'good fashion designer' group.
Chico: If you're going to be in a competition where the talent is to design... then it would behoove you to design instead of a) complain, and b) ride coattails.
Gordon: So I hear that someone tweeted us about the show?
Agent Josh: Uh-oh.
Jason: Really?
Chico: Yeah, I did get a tweet from one of my Twitter buddies, @Kim_Michelle (she used to help us out from time to time, having been on almost any trivia show hosted by Mark Walberg). Kim's tweet..."Well that #projectrunway just made me remember why cliques and groupthink suck!" Yeah, so far, group think and running with the pack aren't getting anyone ANYWHERE.
Gordon: This is a show that is every person for themselves, for the most part.
Chico: Right.
Jason: Whatever happened to individuality and breaking out from the pack?
Chico: And even when you're teamed, you have to think as such. We have too many sheep, not enough wolves.
Gordon: There is no safety in numbers.
Chico: Not on the runway, sir.
Gordon: But what about on a wheel with 24 wedges?
Chico: No safety there either. That's why it's called the "Wheel of Fortune".
Jason: I am sensing some inquiries :)
Gordon: You are correct. It's time for...




Gordon: We continue our Fall Preview Special with this show. Let's start...

1) Wheel of Fortune is always throwing in wrinkles to keep itself fresh. What about this season?

Jason: The only thing so far is the new logo, and the Facebook presence with their highly addictive new game.
Chico: Do we have a shot of the new logo?
Jason: Hold on



Jason: 3D perhaps?
Agent Josh: 3D Hi-Def. I like it!
Chico: Yes and yes.
Gordon: Oooh. Pretty.
Chico: And it's butta. So new logo... Harry's going 3D... but other than that, it's the same from last year.
Agent Josh: I don't think you need any more than that.
Jason: The big thing was Free Play Last year.
Chico: And that worked out well, I say
Agent Josh: It did.
Jason: Once people got it was a free vowel :)
Chico: Essentially.
Gordon: Or a free letter guess. I still don't think people have gotten the hang of it.
Chico: They will.
Gordon: Maybe. Question #2...

2) Like Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune will be in '3-D'. How will this affect the show?

Chico: Same way as Jeopardy! An increase in eye-strain and pretty colors, but that's it.
Jason: Agreed. Won't affect the game play
Agent Josh: Agreed.
Gordon: Just gives more people an excuse to claim that the Wheel has been blinding them. Next question?
Chico: Next up...

3) Pat Sajak... Signed until 2013. What happens after that?

Agent Josh: He gets another contract. To me, he is Wheel.
Gordon: He sticks around. Him and Vanna aren't idiots and are not going to walk off the highest rated Syndication show.
Jason: They stick around as long as they can.
Chico: He probably gets MORE money out of it.
Jason: They are as iconic as Bob Barker is
Agent Josh: And why not? They are legend-ar-y
Chico: Hey, get it in where you can fit it in.
Jason: Sajak is SO underrated as host.
Chico: Very true. I think he proved as much on J! as a player.
Jason: He is so good because he makes it look easy.
Chico: You don't get to 30 years by just mailing it in. Same with Vanna.
Agent Josh: Yes.
Chico: She's smokin' even still.
Gordon: I don't see Harry Friendman getting rid of them anytime soon.
Agent Josh: Nope.
Chico: Nope.
Agent Josh: And if they do, there goes the show.
Gordon: Next one...

4) We didn't have a Million Dollar Winner last year. Will we have one this year?

Jason: No.
Chico: We're going to get so very close... but it won't happen.
Agent Josh: It's such a longshot to get to the Million Dollar moment. First you have to get the wedge (which is a mini-one). Then you have to win the game without hitting a bankrupt. Then you gotta spin and get the million on the prize wheel. THEN You have to solve a tough bonus puzzle. I'm not a mathematician, but the odds have be over 100,000 to one.
Chico: On a GOOD day.
Gordon: I'll say yes, just because it hasn't happened last season. That being said, I like the fact that we are watching for the game, and not for a potential million dollar winner.
Chico: Of course. Because every minute counts.
Jason: Agreed
Chico: Final question...

5) Last season, Wheel of Fortune averaged a 7.4 and was the top syndicated series all season long. This season, Wheel of Fortune averages...

Jason: a 7.6
Agent Josh: I'll say a 7.7
Chico: 7.6
Jason: It will stay #1 an increase viewership
Chico: No doubt.
Gordon: 7.5. No reason why not to stay the course.
Chico: There you go. So more of the same over at SPS, and we can't get enough of it. Speaking of wheels, I got a hamster wheel, and it's attached to a news machine. It WAS attached to a Jeep before Cheeseball sunk it.
Agent Josh: LOL
Chico: We kept telling him... Jeeps are BAD ON WATER.
Gordon: That was the one with the UNC bumper sticker on it, wasn't it?
Chico: ... yes.
Agent Josh: Um....
Jason: Yeah...sunk.
Agent Josh: Don't make him blow his stack...
Chico: Just a fair warning. Okay, let's fire up the wheels, G.
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks. We have a BIG baseball bat. Or two.
Jason: (hands them to Chico)
Chico: One is gold colored... and for once, it's not going to The Amazing Race.

The Race for Emmy gold stops at seven, as Top Chef upsets the field to win its first Reality Competition Emmy.

Agent Josh: Yay!
Jason: Yes! :)
Agent Josh: Bon Appetit!
Gordon: It was a very good season for Top Chef. They've always been bubbling at the surface, so to speak.
Chico: And now it gets a tasty dessert. The pleasant surprise that no one saw coming. Almost like a molten chocolate cake. Mmm...But with every golden bat comes a lead one. And this one's heavy.
Agent Josh: Uh-oh

Time for a flashback. Remember when VH1 cancelled "I Love Money" in the wake of the Ryan Jenkins case, citing a move back to music related programming?

Jason: Yes.
Chico: One week and one year to the day.
Agent Josh: And they have decided to.....
Gordon: They have decided to resurrect season 4 and skip over the season that Ryan Jenkins won.



Jason: (THUD)
Gordon: Wow.
Jason: This is just sad to me.
Gordon: This wouldn't be the first - nor the last - time that we've seen a network executive go back on their word.
Jason: I am not shocked.
Chico: I call flashback...

(FLASHBACK)

Chico: (from August 31, 2009)
Jason: But they better have a bulletproof background check in place.
Chico: Chico: VH1 President Tom Calderone sends us kicking and screaming into stage 5 with this sentence... "This is not what I signed up for". He wants to bring in new producers and new ideas to the party."We always want 51 Minds to be part of our arsenal and stable of creativity, but the only way VH1 will survive and be healthy is to have several different voices and production partners."Now the network said that it was already looking at a new direction, but these events have taken shifts into greater urgency.
Agent Josh: They better.
Jason: (cough) BS (Cough)
Gordon: I agree there. I think the problem is that the dating show genre got the ratings. Real Chance of Love 2 averages 2.7 million people. I Love Money averaged 2.3 million. If you want to steer away from those shows - and we all think that he should have done this years ago - you have to cultivate something that will get the equivalent of those ratings.
Agent Josh: *ECW chant* BULL-(censored)

(END FLASHBACK)

Chico: Yeah, so much for THAT.
Gordon: Yeah, well when you see that VH1 hasn't come remotely close to making those shows that are supposed to steer away from that stuff or getting those ratings, it's not a surprise that the show is coming back.
Jason: So...the question is...WHY?
Gordon: Money, Power. Ratings.
Chico: They're going to put this on the air and pray G-d that people forget about Ryan Jenkins... somehow I doubt that will happen
Agent Josh: Nope.
Jason: Not at all.
Gordon: I think some people will. I don't think Ryan Jenns will affect the ratings, unfortunately.
Jason: Shame on you, Vh1
Chico: Money. Power. Ratings. Datebook?
Gordon: Datebook.

It's NEXT week that start the syndies, but we start early with America's Next Top Model on Wednesday.

Chico: Yay? I mean, on the one hand, it's models. On the other hand... Meh
Agent Josh: Too much drama.
Gordon: Whats wrong with leggy sometimes naked female nubile women?
Agent Josh: They don't know when to stop spouting off about their problems. I mean, on Survivor, it's restrained.
Jason: But its almost naked women
Agent Josh: But here....It's a catfight waiting to happen.
Chico: It's not TV, it's CW.
Gordon: And who doesn't like a good catfight?
Agent Josh: Only if it's in the confines of pro-wrestling
Chico: They have a lot of those around the world, especially the female kind. But I digress. Let's go Global... to Lithuania.

A long time ago in the World Cup, we talked about an Israeli show called "The Bubble"... That show is now heading to Lithuania.

Chico: Also...

GSN is heading to MIPCOM with its catalog of favorites, past and present. You'd love to see new Friend or Foe, wouldn't you?

Jason: Uh...sure
Agent Josh: I would like to see new Friend or Foe.
Gordon: No.
Chico: SURE YOU WOULD!
Gordon: No I wouldn't.
Agent Josh: Better than watching a dog show
Chico: Yeah, then again, anything's better than watching a dog show. Or a cat show. Or anything with animals, really. I just don't think animals make for a good game show. Unless it's Wil Shriner-hosted That's My Dog.
Gordon: I don't want to see a show where you can do everything right and still lose because you're stuck with a greedy partner.
Agent Josh: Yah, but the reason I tuned in was for Kennedy's snarky comments.
Gordon: Bring back Throut and Neck.
Agent Josh: *shakes head at the Throut and Neck comment*
Chico: And speaking of things that are dumb. Rebecca Grant notwithstanding...
Gordon: Guess that leads into this...
Agent Josh: *passes out yardsticks*

Are YOU Smarter than...The Hollywood Reporter, who put out a list of people who were asked to do Dancing With the Stars, including Joel McHale and Tim Allen. The problem is that they never were asked. Ooops.

Jason: Oops :)
Chico: Oh you Hollywood journalistic types. If it isn't your flashy slanguage, it's your refusal to research =p
Agent Josh: JEEZ. TWO SOURCES, PEOPLE!
Chico: Three, actually.
Agent Josh: *slaps the desk with his yardstick* SCHTUPIT!
Gordon: Here's some Haterade.
Agent Josh: Here we go.

According to a UK Press Story, Big Brother UK has been deemed the Worst. Show. Ever.

Agent Josh: Ooooooooooh.
Chico: It has to be pretty bad...
Jason: Um...no.
Gordon: I can think of worse shows. Much worse. Let me ge fully loaded instead of thinking about it.
Jason: Hic
Chico: From one of the worst to one of the best.

Wheel of Fortune's on Facebook. You should play it.

Jason: Too short in execution, but cracktastic
Chico: It's a Facebook game. What were you expecting?
Gordon: It's very short. Family Feud does it right with a whole show.
Agent Josh: TPiR does it right too, even if it's in it's beta stages.
Jason: Yes.
Gordon: I disagree with TPIR doing it right, with 10,000 point bonuses at the end instead of bonus stages. Though I will say what I like about Wheel is that you don't have to win a random prize to keep going on through it's levels.
Jason: Yeah...you can still win a game and not get into the showcase.
Agent Josh: Just like on the show.
Chico: Yeah... Still has a ways to go to catch the Feud, though. But it's on its way, Wheel. Again, you should play it.
Agent Josh: WLTI Approved?
Jason: Yes.
Gordon: So far, so good on the WOF application. Just make it longer. And then you'll get longer media ho shelf life.
Chico: Also approved... *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*
Agent Josh: *fist pumps*
Chico: Like champs. Or something.

In this week's Media Ho Report, Harold Dieterle (Top Chef) gets married, Ramdy Jackson gets ready for Idol 10, Nick Cannon gets ready for AGT 6...

Agent Josh: Which should be boring because of no Simon Cowell.

Katy Perry could be a judge for The X-Factor, the on again off again deals with Jennifer Lopez seems to be on again, and Paris Hilton insistes that the cocain found in her purse isn't hers.

Chico: Suuuuuure.
Agent Josh: Paris' story is going to be a Dragnet episode. Her identity will be changed to protect how stupid she is.
Gordon: But none of them is your ho of the week.
Agent Josh: Whoooooooooooooooooooooooo is it?
Jason: Who is it?
Chico: What've you got, man?
Gordon: I got Ex-Bachelorette star Jesse Csisniak, who FINALLY finds love and gets married. That's sure to make Chico's week better, doesn't it?
Chico: Not really.
Gordon: BTW, the schedule was engagement -> Announce Pregnancy -> - Wedding. Seems like a lot of that going on in Bachelordom thismonth.
Jason: Shouldnt it be...engagement...wedding...pregnancy?
Chico: More or less.
Gordon: More. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okay, that's Brainvision, Shut it down, Block.
Jason: (shutting down)
Chico: Still to come, which of the four remaining game shows will square off in the Grand Finale of our first ever World Cup, a lifestyle quizzer, a rapid fire quizzer, a glamourized karaoke contest, or trivia night at a pub... turned into Noh drama? But first?
Gordon: First, it's time to make Chico feel better by making him a Jeopardy contestant. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 expletives that came out of Chico's mouth this week.
Agent Josh: I thought there were only seven words you couldn't say.
Gordon: Chico came up with some Jim Dandies this week.
Chico: Oh (^_^) off will you, yeah?
Agent Josh: And that's one of them!

(BrainVision has been brought to you by My Little Genius: North Carolina Edition. North Carolina Athletes show to America how smart they are by answering trivia questions for one million dollars!**)

Chico: Oh (^_^).

(**Athletes are coached well in advanced and are allowed to have help by their coaches, their nannies, their coaches nannies, their parents, their parents nannies, or any other member of either the UNC athletic board or any member of the NCAA that's currenty investigating the college for academic fraud.)

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