Episode 24.9 - A Kinder, Gentler Gordon... Ramsay
August 2

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and our WLTI Kitchen is an absolute disaster. CHICO!
Chico: YES CHEF!
Gordon: Why is this place a mess? And where's the risotto?
Chico: Coming up. Hot pan.
Jason: CHEF! Do you need me to set the tables?
Gordon: Yes Jason. And watch where you're goin...(CRASH!).
Jason: DAMMIT!
Chico: Thank goodness we're not chefs.
Gordon: I'm not sure about cooking, but we can write, recap and spread information and humor. I guess that's good enough.
Chico: Good enough for me. I'm Chico Alexander, and from somewhere in America, the "A Kindler, Gentler Gordon... Ramsay"... edition of WLTI ... is... ON!
Jason: WOO!
Gordon: Joining us this week is special guest Jason Block.
Jason: Glad to be back.
Chico: Glad to have you back. Okay, we've got a lot to talk about, so let's get the Opening Round started with... ORDER UP!



Chico: We're going to be talking about Gordon Ramsay, but not Hell's Kitchen. Why? Because he's got a new joint out. It's based on a British/Australian format, and it's called MasterChef. Actually the second US show to bear that name, but that's picking nits.
Gordon: It looks like Hell's Kitchen, but it isn't. Not exactly. Tell us about it.
Jason: It's American Idol for chefs.
Chico: Basically, we have 100 people cooking for a panel of judges, Gordon Ramsay, youngest starred-chef Graham Elliot Bowles, and winemaker/restaurateur Joe Bastianich. The winners there go on to be finalists who get the coveted MasterChef apron. Then we whittle it down via a series of challenges to one. That one gets $250,000, their own cookbook and the title of MasterChef.
Gordon: 1 Vs. 100 Chefs, so to speak.
Jason: The look of the show is amazing. The show looks important.
Chico: And that's one of the good bits. The look is important. It's slick. The people involved know what they're talking about
Jason: JD Roth is one of the many producers of this show.
Gordon: JD Roth obviously knows his craft. In my mind the production values are a significant step up over Hell's Kitchen.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: And, you know what, the concept WORKS. This is NOT unique, but it feels fresh.
Chico: I know the concept works, because the concepts that predate it work. American Idol.. Top Chef.. Project Runway... it's all of these and more.
Gordon: It does right now. We'll see what happens as the show progresses. It will eventually turn into Top Chef, but I want them to be creative about it.
Jason: I think they will. This has a lot of potential.
Chico: And you can imagine how hot things are going to get when the competition begins in earnest.
Gordon: Agreed. Bow let's go to The Bad: All of these concepts work because we've seen all of them before.
Jason: That's true. Originality isn't a strong factor.
Chico: American Idol... Top Chef... Project Runway... it's all of these and more.
Gordon: Add Chopped to it.
Chico: Also bad - some of the dishes were absolutely. well, you're getting a coronary just looking at it. And then there are the dishes you see where the contestants are going with them They miss some KEY points that you'd be roiled to the ground about, and yet they get aprons? I remember seeing the one dude got an apron after the judges saw his family.... WHAT?!
Jason: They need to get consistent judging.
Chico: They really do.
Gordon: Well wait a second. This is Gordon Ramsay and FOX we're talking about. On this opening level, compelling stories = cooking ability.
Jason: Oh yeah, I forgot.
Gordon: If you're a boring cook, you have no shot.
Chico: Drives me up a wall.
Jason: But you had energetic cooks who cooked terribly.
Chico: Two words. Funeral Potatoes.
Gordon: Funeral for my liver.
Chico: One bite and you know you're going to have a heart attack.
Jason: Ugh.

	MASTERCHEF - Fox
	GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B-	B-	B-	B-

Gordon: So for me, this is a fun show. It brings a little originality to the table, and this has potential to be a fun show. B-.
Jason: Gordon is on the money. Better than I thought it would be. B-
Chico: But seriously, this show is an excellent compliment to Hell's Kitchen. I don't think it's a great show? It has the potential to be good, but you know what we say, we don't grade on potential. B-. So not bad, but not particularly good YET. What about Your Chance to Dance?
Gordon: That's not the only new show this week. We also had dancing.
Jason: Didn't see this one.
Chico: Well, it's basically another "Stars in their Eyes" show... with Mark Walberg hosting. It's about having a good time, entertaining us, and ... oh yeah, winning a medal and $10,000.
Gordon: Normal people get to recreate dances made famous by the stars.
Chico: And the audience decides who wins.
Jason: Ok....
Chico: Remember Dance Machine?
Gordon: Unfortunately, yes.
Chico: Remember Performing As?
Jason: Yes.
Chico: Remember 30 Seconds to Fame?
Gordon: Yes. Well, my quick opinion of the shows you reference - Awful, Decent, Funny. The Good: Walberg. He is a consummate pro and he helps move this one along.
Chico: Was getting to that. It's essentially the same show with someone infinitely better hosting. And the players, well, they fit the show. They're enthusiastic, they're normal...
Gordon: The players do fit the show somewhat. This is not as putrid as Dance Machine.
Chico: Not necessarily. Everyone loves being on the show. Everyone's energy is up. That's important.
Gordon: But.
Chico: But.
Gordon: The Bad: This relies on the performances, which are not great. As we've said, these are from 'normal' people and they are not pros. You have a number of cringe-worthy moments in the show.
Jason: Ouch.
Chico: The phrase "rank amateur" is thrown around a lot.
Gordon: It's quite warranted.
Chico: Yeah.
Jason: Do we really want to see raw talent like that?
Gordon: No. We don't. At least I don't.

	YOUR CHANCE TO DANCE - CMT
	GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D+	C	NO GRADE	C-

Chico: Well, it's one shot and it's for $10,000. So you can afford to suck. And at least it's creative. We gotta give it that. That's all I feel like giving it, though. It's not as terrible as we were going to believe it was, but damn if some people wanted to make it close. C.
Gordon: Oh yes, them recreating dances is like me playing a violin with a sponge. It's creative, but you don't really need to have that viewing experience. Walberg is the only reason why I don't give this a lower grade, but he can't save this. There's other things to do with your time, like watching the Lindsay Lohan Jailbait Diaries. D+.
Jason: ROFL
Chico: Topical humor. :-)
Jason: We like that around here.
Chico: We also like, though we won't admit it... haute couture. Guess what's back for a new season.
Jason: MAKE IT WORK!
Chico: Make it work.
Gordon: And I hear that for this segment, we have a special guest commentator?
Chico: Yes we do. I've invited my sister Quisla to join us ...
Jason: (moves over)
Chico: So Project Runway, then...
Quisla: Starts out with a twist, and probably the most brilliant challenge in all of Project Runway. a) You're still auditioning for Project Runway so none of you are officially on YET. So none of you even bother unpacking yet. Which brings us to B) I need each of you to swap an article of clothing from your suitcase. Take this article of clothing as well as a pittance from Mood and create a look that represents you as a designer. You have 5 hours. They rated from hideous to brilliant.
Gordon: Well here's what's hideous. 6 people in the bottom.
Jason: Ouch
Quisla: And any one of them (or ALL of them) can be eliminated.
Gordon: In this case, April, Casanova, Ivy, Jason, Nicholas and McKell are all at the bottom. Only 1 person is out, and that's McKell.
Chico: Right. So what happened? Well, there was the player who, in essence, made pants... from pants. You made pants! Out of pants!
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Chico: Congratulations! That's why you're in the bottom.
Jason: ROFL
Chico: That was just bad.
Quisla: That had no imagination. You are a lazy (^_^).
Gordon: What else?
Quisla: Casanova had the critique of the night... "You look like a pole dancer from Dubai."
Jason: ROFL
Quisla: I thought it was very Versace-esque. Classic Versace, not Donatella.
Gordon: Sounds tropical
Chico: So to sum it up... Gretchen won the challenge, moved in first...
Gordon: She has immunity for next week.
Chico: McKell was eliminated before even competing and Casanova who has a hard grasp of the king's English looks like a pole dancer from Dubai.
Gordon: So Quisla, what do you think of the contestants for this season? I'm not impressed so far.
Quisla: Well, it's only the first challenge. It's the hardest challenge in Project Runway history. It wasn't made to impress you, it was made to impress the judges. The REAL game starts now. And an edit-in, Selma Blair was the guest judge.
Gordon: Thanks for the commentary, Quisla. We'll be chatting more as the weeks progress.
Quisla: Ciao!
Chico: Quisla Alexander for the Project Runway, since we have no idea what anyone is talking about =p At least until someone starts strategizing.
Jason: Thanks Quisla. (moves back into position)
Gordon: Thanks Quisla. Now back to shows that have been around for a while. That can't be said for Andrew, who gets punted from the big Brother house 8-0.



Chico: Again, no surprise.
Jason: Yeah, but as he left....oooh boy.
Gordon: Before he goes, he alerts the house about 1. Hayden/Kristen and 2. The Brigade of Matt/Hayden/Lane and Enzo.
Jason: (BOOM)
Chico: So now all of the cards are face up on the table.
Gordon: So to speak. The new HOH is Rachel. The wise move is to put up Hayden and Kristen, and that's exactly what she does.
Chico: Because Rachel is smart.
Gordon: Britney wins the veto, and if she's smart, she doesn't touch the nominations.
Chico: Right on. So Andrew's seeds are planted firmly. What isn't planted is that the Saboteur may not be gone after all.
Gordon: Well the saboteur may be gone, but there may be a NEW one installed.
Chico: Exactly.
Jason: In the "Pandora's Box" scenario.
Chico: The question will be left to us. The answer will be given in due time.
Gordon: Speaking of answers, we got one this week loud and clear. What happens when the old producer comes back to the place where he made a proud franchise immensely popular?
Jason: Things are shaken up.
Chico: BIG TIME. Here's the scenario. Season 9 of Idol... *raspberries* So Nigel Lythgoe and Fox ink a deal to return to the EP chair and right the course as it were. Part of it: Ellen and Kara are out as AI judges, either on their own accord or not depending on who you believe.
Jason: Ellen I think legitimately left. Kara not so much
Chico: And taking their place in deals in principle: Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler. Again, "in principle" being the operative words.
Gordon: There's 2 questions to be asked here.
Chico: Ask away, sir.
Gordon: Question #1: Is this an improvement over Ellen and Kara?
Jason: Overall...yes. But not by much
Chico: Hmm... Well, in some ways yes, but in some ways no. First of all, both have more musical backgrounds.
Gordon: I think it's yes in a big way. Neither of them brought what they needed to to the party. They both cowered to Cowell.
Chico: They had so much promise too.
Gordon: They did, but if you don't bring what is expected, you get the gate.
Jason: Pretty much.
Chico: And from what it looks like Kara had an insurance policy that she's only renewed on a year-by-year basis.
Gordon: I think Jennifer (Paula) and Steven (Simon) will bring a jolt of energy. Now they need to deliver and not be afraid of what the public thinks, which is what I thought was a massive problem.
Chico: Like it. Question #2?
Gordon: Will this stop the ratings erosion?
Jason: No.
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: Make that a triple. The only thing that will stop it is the talent itself.
Chico: I think when you get the EP back and shake things up... actually, when you feel the need to shake things up to begin with... the writing's on the wall. You need a pool worthy of this panel, otherwise, the end is nigh.
Jason: Curiosity factor will be a minor factor, but it still will be the hot guy with guitar from the Midwest who wins.
Gordon: They need to make sure that unlike the past 3 seasons, the hot guy with a guitar isn't the best singer there, which he was.
Jason: Gordon and I will agree to disagree there.
Gordon: You have to cater to mainstream America. I have said that year after year after year. Adam Lambert and Crystal Bowersox both miserably failed to do that.
Chico: But yeah, we can all agree that you can have the three of us judging, but the onus is on the contestants to perform. Basically, you have to be able to "play in Peoria".
Gordon: Agreed.
Jason: Yes.
Gordon: And one of them will have a better chance to win a million dollars than...well...them...



Gordon: So who are this week's losers, Chico?
Chico: Katheryn Martinez has a shot at a million dollars. All she has to do is put the coin in the hole.
Gordon: Sounds kinky
Chico: oh baby.
Jason: PG, people :)
Chico: Call it a million dollar game of quarters... that she loses.
Gordon: So no coins in her hole.
Chico: Nope.
Jason: Boooooo
Gordon: Aw. But We have a bonus!



Gordon: This week was the last week of Jeopardy Regular episodes.
Chico: Aww.
Gordon: So Mr. Alexander, the last Final Jeopardy Clue of the season, sir?
Chico: the final Final Jeopardy! clue of the season... THE 9 MUSES.

In a Balanchine ballet, Apollo, god of music, has a favorite muse: this one.

Jason: Who is Terpsichore?
Gordon: Who is Julianne Hough?
Chico: Correct: Who is Kristy Lee Cook. HA. You're BOTH wrong. Kidding. Jason's right, as usual. Gordon's wrong... Again, as usual.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: You're just not Apolo Ohno fans, or you would have gotten it right.
Jason: LOL
Chico: MAAAAAAAYBE
Gordon: So now the hamsters are auditioning for your Chance to Dance.
Chico: Do the time warp!
Gordon: The hamsters are trying to do the Apolo Ohno Ski Jump maneuver...with results as can be expected from hamsters.
Chico: Big ball of fur?
Gordon: Big rolling ball of snowball fur
Jason: Oh boy
Chico: Cool
Gordon: So while they roll down the hill, Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks Doug. Gordon, you have the first story
Gordon: I do. Lets have some dates.

August 2nd is Season 2 of Scream Queens. August 3rd is Season 2 of Shaq Vs. Both of these shows are blood-curdling.

Jason: Scary.
Chico: Ba DUM.
Gordon: Ooooh. Is it dark out?
Chico: Oooh... Skeeeeeery.

Also this week, lost season 1 eps of LMAD.

Chico: Yay. Up for that, G?
Gordon: Always :)
Chico: nice.
Gordon: But if it's scary out, I have something to protect you (Gives Chico the bat)
Chico: Bring it OOOOOON! You remember last week we reported that Carnie Wilson was out on TNG? Well... I'm not saying that this might be why, BUUUUUT..

Carnie Wilson is suing GSN for $277,500 for additional pay for her "work" on "Unstapled".

Gordon: That's some serious Haterade.
Chico: Spokesperson for GSN says, "We are not aware of any lawsuit by Carnie Wilson against GSN." ... YEAH.
Jason: Sure.
Chico: Gordon, you're always the voice of reality, what say you?
Gordon: I think they may be slightly familiar with the story.
Chico: How can you not be familiar with a story you're involved with? That just don't make sense.
Jason: They are not going to say anything with Sony Lawyers approving the statement. Because it's an ongoing investigation.
Chico: Right. Meanwhile, another date to add to your fall datebook...

"Top Chef Just Desserts" launches September 15 with Gail Simmons hosting.

Jason: Yum.
Gordon: That's sweet. Who's up for dumb and salty?
Chico: Me!
Jason: Me too!

Are YOU Smarter than...The Cast of the Hard Times of RJ Berger, who tie the NY Giants for worst total accumulated on Silent Library?

Jason: oh boy.
Chico: Did you expect any less?
Jason: Not really.
Gordon: That would be $2,200, including failing the last 3 stunts. But we're not done.
Chico: We're not done? Chick from TPIR gets a legitimate albeit raunchy acting gig, then blows it on SL, and we're not done. =p

Are YOU Smarter than...Meg Miller, who's Final Jeopardy answer on Thursday night made Chico sad?

Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: What was that?
Gordon: The question, sir?
Chico: Punching it up now... Category is "The Super Bowl".

As of 2010 it's the only current NFC team that has never played in the Super Bowl

Jason: I remember this. Who are the Detroit Lions?
Chico: Gordon, you are Meg... What happened?
Gordon: I wrote... Who are the Jacksonville Panthers?
Jason: DO you need the helmet?
Chico: Yeah. I had to throw something after that.
Jason: (hands Chico the Carolina Panthers helmet)
Chico: I mean, granted they both grew from expansion teams in the 1990s to legitimate Super Bowl threats... but COME ON!
Gordon: That was silly.
Chico: That WAS silly.
Jason: Very silly.
Gordon: Meanwhile, here's someone who's a football fan for the gore.



Jason: AH! He does look ready for training camp though
Gordon: He doesn't doesn't he?
Chico: Steve Smith, watch'er back.

These guys aren't ready for practice, or anything else: Daisy of Love, Charm School and Most Popular. They are not on the schedule.

Chico: Awww. Next.
Gordon: And we can't have that without one of these.



Chico: Awww. So cute.
Jason: So....lovely.
Gordon: Speidi is headed for a crash and burn here. Talking Divorce.
Jason: Oh please. Publicity stunt. Not going to happen
Chico: People. Ignore them. They will go away.
Gordon: I need to get loaded from hearing everything from Speidi.
Jason: HIC

Game show hosts on the radio. That's the subject this week, as Todd Newton, good friend of ours, is going to Voice of America, launching his Life Radio there August 4.

Jason: One of his big things outside of game shows is motivational speaking. This is an extension of that.
Chico: Yes it is, and we wish him all the best on it.
Jason: If you are interested in his courses they are at toddnewtononline.com
Chico: Thanks for that.
Gordon: Nice. Now Todd is NOT a media ho. But I know people who are. Wanna hear some?
Chico: Yah. *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*
Jason: Let do it. Let's

In this week's Media Ho Report, Pat Sajak talks climate, Melissa Rycroft is pregnant, Ian Bernardo sues American Idol for sucking....um...er...

Chico: NEXT STORY! NEXT STORY! =p
Jason: Sucking the life out of his character, that's it.

Bob Barker now LOVES Drew Carey, Bret Michaels and Taio Cruz does AGT, Bob Guiney finalizes his divorce...



Jason: Awwwwwww

Bo Bice releases his new album, Kristy Lee Cook has a hunting show on Vs., and Troy Aikman ISN'T going to be on Dancing With the Stars.

Gordon: But none of them are your ho of the week
Chico: Who's our ho of the week?
Gordon: Stephen McPherson.
Jason: Who?
Gordon: He WAS the head of ABC programming. He no longer is.
Chico: Aww. He's the one that turned America on to dancing... withtheSTARS!
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Jason: Oh well.
Gordon: But his programming is only good for tied for 3rd in the 18-49ers. And that's bad.
Jason: That is bad.
Chico: Very bad.
Gordon: So what does this mean for game shows on ABC?
Jason: Depends on who takes over. We shall see.
Chico: Yes we shall.
Gordon: We'll be keeping an eye out in this story. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Meanwhile, we'll be keeping our eye on a trip ...
Gordon: So where are we going Chico?
Chico: Philippines.

The bad news... Wowowee is gone bye bye...

Jason: Wasn't that the game show with the epic fail.
Gordon: That was the one with the accused charges if rigging.
Chico: At ULTRA Arena yes.
Jason: Wowch

The good news... a new show with Kris Aquino is launching.

Gordon: It will get one last hurrah in our World Cup Tournament.
Chico: Yup. And also, a casting couch...
Gordon: We'll see if the new show does anything.

Who wants to go to Japan to try for Total Victory... and $250,000?

Gordon: ME!

Go to the open casting call for American Ninja Warrior 2 in Pasadena on August 7 and 8, and for more info, go to G4TV.com/anw2

Gordon: Jay's all over that. Aren't you Jay?
Jason: Um...sure!
Chico: I would totally be up for that.
Gordon: So while they are debating, let's end Brainvision. Shut it down.
Jason: Shutting down
Gordon: Coming up, a new game. We like new games here. But first up, we go to Round #7 of our World Cup. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 new shows we'll recommend to the new president of ABC.
Chico: And 18 of them are created by the East West Connection... just sayin'.
Jason: There you go.

(Brought to you by Brig-Ade. The Big Brother energy drink with less power than it thinks it has.)

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE