Episode 24.5 - They Might Be Giants
July 6

Chico: Hey there. It's your game show fan buddy Chico Alexander. And my brother Gordon Pepper here..
Gordon: ...who is officially banning watching the hot dog eating contest this season.
Chico: ... WHA?
Jason: Excuse me?
Chico: But you NEVER ban the hot dog eating contest unless...OHHHH. His favorite's not competing reportedly.
Gordon: You can't have one if the person who would be the winner of the contest is not allowed to play.
Chico: I think it was his choice.
Jason: Oh no. This was a contract dispute.
Chico: Ah.
Jason: They wanted Kobayashi to be hot dog only.
Chico: What the hell, mate?
Gordon: Kobayashi, the man, the myth, the legend...is not allowed to play. LET HIM EAT! LET HIM EAT! LET HIM EAT!
Chico: While G is rallying his troops, I'll just say "From somewhere in the Meadowlands... Happy Birthday America! WLTI... IS... ON!"
Gordon: Since when is the hot dog eating contest in the Meadowlands?
Chico: This is relevant. I know it's at the Nathan's. But the Giants play in the Meadowlands, right?
Gordon: We're going there, huh?
Chico: May as well.
Gordon: Fine. Our special guest this week, who knows that we don't have hot dog eating contests in the Meadowlands, is Jason Block.
Jason: I get it now :) And I was at the site of the contest last night. Coney Island rules.
Chico: We've got a lot of "wieners" and losers to go over this week, as well as our World Cup and a little song and dance for this holiday weekend. But first, a little story. Now Gordon here...there's something he likes even more than Power 90, the Yankees, and American Idol combined. And that is The New York Football Giants. UNTIL THIS WEEK.
Gordon: The New York Giants were on Silent Library. And they played more like the Detroit Lions of 2 seasons ago when they went 0-16.All they do is stink up the place, setting records for futility. Big Bored, please?

Gordon: The Subject: NYG = No. Yuck. Gross. My New York Giants have set the record for suckitude. #1: First team to go 0-3 in the first round.
Chico: Ew.
Jason: Double Eew.
Gordon: #2: The 3-7 record (including challenger not seen on the air) is the worst record by any team in the series, with the 3 wins also a series low. #3: The $2,000 is also a series low (It was $2,200 before that episode). #4: They are the only team to get the charity $5,500 for showing up.
Jason: Whoa.
Chico: Well, when you make millions of dollars for every Sunday you show up...
Gordon: So thank you for playing for charity. Now get off my TV set and stay off until August preseason games.
Chico: But they weren't the only celebs to come out and play. Just the only ones that were REALLY REALLY BAD AT IT! Iyaz had his game face stuck on replay, if you know what I'm sayin'. All-Time Low... was riding on a high. Stereo Skyline was NOT tongue-tied. And we all wished Hey Monday was here. And the New Boyz... they... I got nothing, so I'll just say they were pretty good.
Jason: Do you feel they bunched the celeb editions all at once instead of spreading them out?
Chico: Why yes. Yes I do.
Jason: Because this is the way you turn viewers off.
Chico: I mean, when your season is 20 eps long and you air four a week. And you want to attract the young people, this is what you do. It doesn't work on more jaded folk like you and me or the over 25 crowd, but whoever said that this was a show for the over-25 crowd?
Gordon: Well, it's not and MTV is giving the kids what they want here, which is the celebrities.
Chico: And they're not done yet.
Gordon: I don't mind the celebs as much here. I would prefer to see them though as part of the troupe of stunts.
Chico: I'm so glad you said that, G. Now you remember a while back there was word of an episode with Nadya "Octomom" Suleman, yeah?
Gordon: yes
Jason: Yes.
Chico: Wait... Sorry, TUESDAY.
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Jason: WHOO HOO
Chico: Also Tuesday... the dreaded palate test. But Salvatore and Siobhan won't make it there.



Chico: This week in Hell's Kitchen, we had a 50th anniversary. Salvatore was uninvited to the party afterwards. Then comes a prime rib (No, not JP).
Jason: lol
Chico: The actual sandwich. As in corned beef on a hardroll with a thing of gravy on the side. Few things on earth are more tantalizing. Now you can try it on your friends... just make sure you don't get nice and drunk afterwards. Autumn...
Gordon: Sacre Bleagggghhhh
Jason: LOL
Chico: Basically. The blue team is too hung over to cook, while the red team just sucks. The result: a double all-out.
Gordon: But she's not the one booted.
Chico: No she is not, because Siobhan made one crucial error. She was kicked out of the kitchen and made to literally eat her mistakes, when Ben was called to her station. He didn't give it up. And Siobhan just accepted it. She just ran out of fight there.
Gordon: And when you run out of fight, you get shown the gate.
Chico: Bingo.
Jason: That’s it.
Chico: And now we're down to eight, and when it comes to eight, it comes down to who has the best palate. We'll find out on Tuesday
Gordon: What about who has the best trivia palate?
Chico: That's easy. Jason Block =p ... Chico Alexander? ... Ken Jennings? Brad Rutter? Jeff Kursky?
Jason: I have a good palate. Very good. Not like Brad...or Ken.
Gordon: This week, we had a buffet of trivia champions.
Chico: Yummy. Shall we dive in?
Gordon: Let's. Show us the menu.
Chico: Monday had "Botanical Etymology". Janet Bradlow is going for three on this...

This plant's name may have come from its use by Italian Renaissance women to dilate pupils, which, they felt, augmented beauty.

Jason: What is the Bella Donna?
Gordon: What is an eye-ris?
Chico: Jason is right, and cute, Gordon. REAL cute.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: I aim to please
Chico: Janet hopes for four on Tuesday against... Physics!

Discovered in the early 20th Century, these 2 particles, 1 with a positive charge, the other a packet of energy, differ by a letter.

Jason: What are proton and protein
Gordon: ummm....wha?
Jason: Sorry I blanked.
Gordon: First of all, Protein isn't a packet of energy. Second of all, you change ONE letter, not TWO. (Tosses dunce cap over to Jason)
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: Photon
Chico: PHOTON.
Jason: Darn it
Gordon: Actually, My answer was what is Granny and Tranny.
Chico: NEXT CLUE! Steven Milton upends Janet to get a crack at this on Wednesday. Topic: Russian Composers. Composers, not "Hot chicks that may or may not be spies". They caught 11, but all the attention is on the ONE. JUST. SAYIN'.
Jason: The hot redhead...Meow :)
Chico: The clue.

His first name means "moderate"; sadly, immoderate drinking helped kill him in 1881 at age 42, but not on Bald Mountain.

Jason: Who is Mussorgsky (Modest)
Gordon: Who is Ivana Gudlawyerski?
Chico: No, it's "the lady to which Jason Block was earlier referring." Meow.
Gordon: Yes, and her new bailiff will be Ivana Gudlawyerski.
Chico: No, Jason was right, and so was Steven Milton (albeit totally wrong, but right enough to win the game). Next, who wants to deal with Monarchs?
Gordon: Sure
Jason: I do.

Cairo's Al-Rifai Mosque is the resting place of 2 Egyptian kings & of a 20th Century ruler of this Mideast country.

Jason: What is Iran?
Gordon: What is Brazil's shrine to the 2010 World Cup Championship Trophy Room?
Chico: Which they will never get. Awww. CRY MY TEARS, BRASILENOS! Dave Edwards takes Steve down. And he'll take this out... 5-Letter Literary Terms. That whittles it down.

The "History" by Herodotus has been called the earliest surviving European work of this form, from the Latin for "straightforward"

Jason: What is biography?
Chico: Gordon, hit him.
Gordon: (Hits Jason. HARD)
Jason: OW! Stop!
Chico: Biography has NINE letters.
Gordon: (Tosses Jason another Dunce Cap)
Chico: Gordon, the right response, please.
Gordon: I was going to say what is Ennui (describing Jason's answer), but I have ‘What is Prose’?
Chico: I will say that it's better than what Dave wrote: "What is epicc?"
Gordon: Wrong. Also ‘Epic’ is 4 letters long.
Chico: Exactly. Also five letters long... PRICE. Friday was the 4th of July spectacular... and for something that lacked a little punch up front, The Price is Right got us in the end.
Gordon: We had another new episode on Friday celebrating the 4th of July, and we had fireworks.
Jason: Oh yeah :)
Chico: A lot of fireworks. The end of the show ended with a showstopper. Showcase #1... Gordon, you're top winner because... well, you don't have any dunce caps.
Gordon: YAY!
Jason: LOL
Chico: So we have two tickets to the Hollywood Bowl 4th of July spectacular, a vacation in Washington, DC, and a Ford Ranger. Bidding or passing, Gordon?
Gordon: I think Jason should bid.
Jason: I will bid $24,000
Chico: Okay, Gordon. This is your Showcase. Chuck Finley is setting you up with a game room with seats, HDTV, PSP, PS3, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Fatheads, a pool table, TWO tickets to the All-Star Game, and a Chevrolet Camaro.
Gordon: Drool. $40,069.
Chico: That is a sexy Showcase.
Gordon: Very sexy.
Chico: Gordon, we'll start with you. Actual price... $40,,,,.... 580, a difference of $511
Gordon: Oooh
Jason: Wow.
Chico: Actual price of Jason's Showcase... $24,.... 685. You don't beat Gordon, but I'll tell you why we end with yours. Morgan Cooper... bid $24,500. Do the math, and it ends with a DOUBLE. SHOWCASE. WIN.
Jason: OH YEAH!
Gordon: YAY
Chico: She's going to the All-Star Game. She's got a new car. She's got a new truck. She's got an HDTV. She's got the double double... so she gets THIS...



Gordon: Now that's something good to get a double on. Then there's something that you don't find to have a double on. Such as girlfriends.
Jason: Oh boy



Jason: AH!
Gordon: In this week’s Bachelorette round-up, Ali, through her friends (and Bachelorette Producers) has found out that Justin Rego is planning on quitting the show and announcing his love for his stay-at-home girlfriend Jessica. Ali puts Justin out of his misery first. This is from Chico's faaaaaavorite show in the whole wide world.
Chico: Booty on the side, basically. Double order.
Gordon: I'll have scrambled Ali with wheat toast and a side order of booty, please.
Chico: ORDER UP!
Jason: ROFL
Chico: And that's really all we need to know. Ali found out about BOTH girls on the side... Rated R's an X... and the Bachelorette still sucks.
Jason: ROFL
Gordon: Now if you like your comedians Funny Side Up, than you're in for a treat, because we have our first 5 Last Comic Standing Finalists. Big Board please.

Chico: Who's on the set list first, G?
Gordon: Your first set of 5 are...Rachel Feinstein
Chico: ... who is nice.
Gordon: Myq Kaplan
Jason: He’s funny.
Gordon: Felipe Esparza
Jason: Knew that was happening
Gordon: Mike DeStefano
Chico: Good choice there.
Gordon: and Johnathan Thymius
Jason: Nice selection.
Chico: Rachel's a sentimental favorite for reasons we won't go into here... boobs.
Jason: Hey! She IS funny.
Chico: AND she's funny.
Gordon: So Hans the pig in our Brainvision Troupe has decided to be a stand up comic pig.
Chico: Got any material from him?
Gordon: I would print it here, but it's too dirty.
Jason: Of course. He's a pig.
Chico: Just load him up to the almighty news machine.
Gordon: (Loads Hans In) Now Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug! Now let's talk about the calendar. It's a new month. It's a new week. We got new stuff, don't we?
Gordon: I got new stuff. Starting with a Datebook .

We have kids week on Jeopardy, Come Dine with me on July 7th, Big Brother on July 8th, and Joey Chestnut winning a fake wiener eating title.

Chico: You're going to say it again, aren't you?
Gordon: Yes I am. LET KOBAYASHI EAT! LET KOBAYASHI EAT! LET KOBAYASHI EAT! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!
Chico: Thank you =p
Jason: ROFL
Gordon: I don't like to see politics get in the way of weiner eating. Even when the politicians are the weiners.
Chico: Heh... contracts. What've they ever done for me!
Gordon: They make you want to do this (Hands Bat to Chico)
Chico: Thank you.

File this under More Stupid Ideas. The micro-season of Minute to Win It will launch on Wednesday with a Million Dollar mission.

Jason: *THUD*
Chico: Basically, they're going to play Supercoin until someone gets it right.
Jason: Desperation if you ask me
Chico: Yep. And you know how we feel about that.
Gordon: That actually did bring in ratings for Deal or No Deal...until they WON the million. Then the rankings sank faster than Lee DeWyze;s CD sales.
Chico: Damn, G.
Jason: Wow.
Gordon: Hey. I like coffee coasters.
Chico: Heh.
Gordon: They shine better when you put a green light with it.
Chico: Yes they do...

"Love Bites". No, really. It does. Due to some behind the scenes action (pregnancy mostly)... that gets benched on NBC, and up comes the next season of The Apprentice.

Jason: They are piggybacking on the success of Bret Michaels. And with the recession still on, this is going to be gold for NBC.
Chico: Yep. Hopefully they do this right and bring it back to what made it great in the first place
Jason: I hope they do
Gordon: I don't know about gold. The Apprentice got a weak spot on Sunday Nights. Thursday at 10pm is where CBS' Mentalist Resides. That could be trouble for Trump.
Chico: Yeah, problematic.
Jason: Very.
Chico: Also problematic... more stupid people with stupid ideas.
Gordon: I have the stupid people.

Are YOU Smarter than...members of Paris Hilton's entourage, who got busted for marijuana possession in South Africa while watching the World Cup.

Chico: Woops.
Gordon: This is Hilton's entourage, NOT Hilton herself.
Chico: That's not news =p
Gordon: It's news, but not a revelation.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: And then, we have one of these.



Jason: Awww....
Chico: ANOTHER ONE?

Kelsey Grammer and Camille Grammer are calling it quits after 13 years. Kelsey, who was on both Banzai and The World Cup of Comedy, sees the split partially happen because Camille wants to be on a reality show of her own on Bravo.

Jason: Oh boy.
Chico: That Bravo will be the death of all of us. Except for that tasty Top Chef.
Gordon: Very tasty. I think Kelsey may go there and then get Fully Loaded.
Jason: Hic.
Chico: Got a double shot for you this week. One's actual news, the other's happy fun.

If you have an iPad, then you will soon have Wheel of Fortune for said iPad.

Jason: HELLO! I wish I had one.
Chico: I thought you got an iPad, J.
Jason: I have an Ipod Touch
Chico: There you go.

There's a version out there for that as well.

Jason: YES!
Chico: ALSO...

Jay-Z had a song called "Death of Autotune". Don't tell that to the folks at Jeopardy!...

Jason: This was HILARIOUS.
Chico: Here's the tape... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Te4E1cx2J44
Jason: Gordon...is that on your next mix CD?
Gordon: No. But this will be.
Jason: Oh no...:)
Gordon: Oh yes… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_GANwb1IzQ&feature=related
Chico: Obviously that's not going into the final broadcast =p
Gordon: And why not?
Jason: (cranks headphones to 11)
Chico: ... Good point. First time I heard a song called "Dirty Talk" with no dirty talk in it.
Jason: Wait till later on in the song
Gordon: As Jay says, I have the penchant to be the Filthy McNasty of the Club Music world.
Chico: I've heard the Club Gordon mix tapes. Trust me on this.
Jason: He could put a whole CD together of dance songs that are R rated :)
Gordon: But before we get to Luda, I have a red rad sofa

Do you want to be on Season 11 of The Biggest Loser? Go here: http://www.realitywanted.com/call/7734-the-biggest-loser-is-now-casting-for-season-11

Gordon: And then after you lose the weight, you can be an American Ninja Warrior.

Go here to be part of Season 2: http://www.realitywanted.com/call/7722-now-casting-season-two-of-g4s-american-ninja-warrior
 
Chico: That's going to be slick.
Jason: Chico...apply now :)
Chico: Want to.
Gordon: And then after that, you can be part of the Bad Girl's Club.

Go here! http://www.realitywanted.com/call/7742-bad-girls-club-casting-nationwide

Jason: I'll pass that one along :)
Chico: Why do we wanna be on the Bad Girls' Club?
Jason: We don't. But someone has to know someone who knows someone.
Gordon: Someone pass that link to Vienna Girardi.
Chico: Right on.
Gordon: And now...Luda me.
Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All Over The World"

In this week's Media Ho Report, Clay Aiken wants to be the next American Idol judge, John Henson gets married, Vienna Girardi insists she's got a Playboy spread coming...

Chico: Yeah... Playboy says no....
Jason: She has a spread, Playboy just doesn’t want to see it
Chico: (RIMSHOT)

Gali Simmons will host Top Chef: Just Desserts, CBS gives out the cast of Big Brother 13, Jen Scheft is having a baby...

Chico: *baby noises*

Kate Gosselin may - or may not - be doing a holiday album, Jake Pavelka is NOT doing Playgirl, and Dee Snider gets his own reality show on July 27th.

Gordon: But none of them is your ho of the week.
Chico: Who is it?
Gordon: The ho is Bret Michaels, who is doing double duty - first auditioning to be the next American Idol judge, then Auditioning to be one of the new Judges for the next season of The Apprentice. Did I mention his new concert tour starts up in Late July?
Chico: Dude!
Jason: He needs to REST.
Chico: Grab a nap or SOMETHING!
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And finally. Let's go Global...

We're crossing the border into Canada (because it was Canada Day) where a reality channel is going to launch with... Survivor Borneo.

Jason: So we get to see Richard Hatch one more time.
Chico: ALL... of Richard Hatch. Gross.
Gordon: And on THAT note, that ends Brainvision. Shut it down.
Jason: SHUTTING DOWN.
Chico: Still to come, I break out the guitar, Gordon gets his turntables, and Jason has the keyboard with the light-up keys for a Songbook.
Jason: Nice.
Gordon: But first, Round 3 of our World Cup. You're reading WLTI. you give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 football players who should never be on a game show. Most of which would be on the New York Jets. :)
Chico: J. E. T. S. Suck. Suck. Suck.
Gordon: And Carolina Panthers
Chico: G. O. R. D. O. N. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks.
Gordon: Don't hate me because you're team can't make the playoffs.

(Brainvision has been brought to you today by Top Shots. What goalie can stop the most amount of shots during a soccer match? Not Ghana. See ya.)

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