Episode 24.14 - Chico Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Week
September 7

Jason: Double oh ****
Chico: Oh (^_^) (^_^) (^_^) my (^_^)...
Agent Josh: You're going to wear out the cuckoo, Chico.
Gordon: Chico enjoyed that ad.
Agent Josh: He's running on all eight cylinders today, folks.
Chico: (^_^) your cylinders...
Gordon: Ahem. Show. Please.
Chico: Okay... Happy face on. Welcome back to WLTI. We're the only show on the internet with more heavy hitters than a Washington Nationals bullpen in the middle of South Florida.
Gordon: And now, the three of you can stand behind the Podium.
Agent Josh: *runs over and claims the leftmost podium*
Jason: (walks over, pats podium gently)
Chico: Middle.
Jason: I have the right then
Gordon: One of you is used to this, one of you is THIS close to getting there, and one of you can only dream of it.
Agent Josh: Hey, I was in the auditions for the college tournament. I CAME that close to getting it.
Chico: I'm one well-placed friend away from Jeopardy!, I swear. So long as she works for ABC11, I'm screwed. *mouths "I'm sorry"*
Gordon: So welcome to Categories. You all know how this works, which means I don't have to exxplain it. Good.
Chico: You don't have to own the right answer, just as long as you own YOUR answer.
Jason: Got it :)
Agent Josh: Ready
Gordon: Ok. Here are the categories for today's game...

Jason: LOL
Gordon: I believe that Don won the last one, and since he's not here, Chico will select first.
Chico: Why not start dirty. The Happy Hooker Opens Her Mouth Live on TV.
Gordon: Here's the question: On some music show in Britain that we'll be seeing here in 2011, a contestant passed through her auditions despite the fact that she's a call girl. What's going to happen if one of the finalists in the U.S. is a woman of ill repute?
Jason: The answer is absolutely nothing. We will laugh at her, and she will have the lasting power of Bikini Girl. We made a reality star out of Paris Hilton, and she had sex on film.
Chico: She's going to go in. They're going to judge her on her talent. She'll either go through or go home, and then sometime in the next week or so... the skeleton will come out of the closet dressed in full-on fetish gear.
Jason: She is just HIGHER paid at what she does.
Agent Josh: I think that it won't happen, to tell you the truth. I'm sure other production companies don't want to suffer the same fate that VH-1 suffered with the I Love Money concept.
Chico: History never lies. If it serves the audience well, the powers that be will look the other day. If not... she'll be asked to kindly leave. It'll all depend on whether or not she was a compelling backstory. Again, history is riddled with double standard.
Jason: That isnt a compelling backstory? Call girl sings into different mike? Gordon: I agree with Josh here. The U.S. audience clearly wants someone wholesome and pure. People have been nailed and eliminated based on their past, and I think if it's found out, she doesn't get anywhere near the Top 24. Especially if she has a criminal record based on it. Though I think that if she does get in, and the producers make an intriguing back story, she goes far. But I don't think she gets there. $1,000 to Josh. $800 to Jason and $600 to Chico.

Gordon: Ok Josh, you control the board.
Agent Josh: I'm the landlord and Jason Can't afford my rent.
Gordon: I don't know what you're charging.
Agent Josh: More than you can afford.
Chico: HA.
Gordon: The Price is Right has unveiled some new goodies for next season. One of the bigger ones is 'Pay The Rent', where by correctly pricing products, a player can win $100,000. How do you think this will go over?
Agent Josh: I think this will go over very well. First, one of the more popular games (Golden Road) routinely goes into the higher-five and sometimes into six digits. Second, Some of the games need to keep pace with the Million Dollar prizes on some other game show.
Jason: Very well. Season 39 actually looks very promising, and this is the reason why. Cash is king, especially in this economy and $100,000 is LIFE Changing money, even now. This could be Golden Road big, if worked right.
Agent Josh: (And golden road is one of the more popular games)
Chico: I think people will take issue about their precious Plinko being usurped, then they'll see the game and suddenly fall quiet. Me, I can't wait to see it. It's more often than not a good thing when a season begins with a new pricing game. It could be the next coming of Golden Road if Mike & co. do it right.
Gordon: if they upgrade Plinko to $20,000 a chip, then that could also be worth $100,000, so no usurping needed. But I'm not as convinced as you guys,. The concept seems really simple and too easy to put a high pricetag on it. I think a lot of money will go out the door when it's being played, which means that it won't be played as often as Plinko. I think it can be solid, but I don't think it will replace Plinko, as in this game you have to use your head, and we know how well America hates to do that.
Chico: No, America loves using its head... but TPIR's history is not built on that. It's built on excitement.
Gordon: $1,000 to Josh again, as he brings up the keeping pace. $800 to Jason and $600 to Chico.

Agent Josh: :-)
Chico: Not doing too well, am I?
Jason: Long way to go.
Gordon: It's early. Josh selects again.
Agent Josh: I could've used this excuse in school. "A Whammy Ate My Homework"
Gordon: Just in time for September, Press Your Luck comes out for the PS3. The reviewer said that the game plays exactly like it does on tv, which is the problem with the game; the game sho makes a terrible video game adaptation. Your thoughts on the matter?
Jason: I have the game on the Iphone. And unfortunately, it's not a very good adaptation. The AI is weak. The graphics are pitiful, and the announcer tracks repeat often. The next version should be, and has to be better than this. The reviewer was right.
Agent Josh: Home game versions are never quite as good as their game show counterparts, whether they have video games or board games. I can name a few examples that were good, but they are VERY few. I think the reviewer hit it on the nose.
Chico: Well, PYL is a game that we all grew up wanting to play. But when you get right down to it, it's a trivia game with a little electronic roulette wheel attached. And it's no fun unless you're playing with others. And others may not feel as strongly as you do. I mean, it was pretty exciting for its day, and it still is.. but as a video game where you're just playing... Not so much. He's dead on here.
Gordon: I have 2 problems with the review. 1. This is about a game that is a killer when you play with friends, You need a social media element to it - like the online version. Playing it by yourself is sort of fun, but you need the online capability. The game needed to really be reviewed as an online component and not as a stand-alone, because what makes the game work, more than any other game in this genre, is the vs. capability. The only person who mentioned this is Chico. $800 to him. $600 to Jason and $400 to Josh.
Chico: Yay.
Gordon: but none of you get the $1,000.
Chico: Boo.
Jason: Ouch.

Gordon: It's time for DOUBLE CATEGORIES! Chico, please select.
Chico: I can't believe I'm saying this on the internet... But Officer, It Was My BFF That Put the Cocaine in My Purse!
Jason: ROFL
Agent Josh: *SPLORT*
Gordon: Paris Hilton's My BFF just ran into my buddy.



Agent Josh: DAH!
Jason: Damn!
Agent Josh: *hides behind his podium*
Chico: Yo
Gordon: Bromance with BRODY JENNER didn't exactly work out too good.
Chico: No.
Jason: Nope
Gordon: So you're the new network executive for MTV. Give me something that will attract someone as to someone looking for a new BFF.
Chico: Grab someone from an existing reality show that is inexplicably possible. One of those Jersey Shore mother(^_^)ers available? How about a Real Housewife of Omaha?
Agent Josh: You know, Hugh Hefner is always on the lookout for the next girl to be his girlfriend. You'd get a guaranteed spread in Playboy, and a good relationship.
Chico: And an old man would get to look at you like that.
Jason: I can do this, but in a totally different way. I would take the "real world view" shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant and get Lindsay Lohan on there. This would be the scared straight of 2010 and would garner HUGE ratings. And would get MTV back in the news in ways they need.
Chico: If prison hasn't scared her straight, then reality TV will.
Jason: They need to be relevant again. They don't just want to be known as The Jersey Shore Network
Agent Josh: Too late for that.
Chico: Yeah, they do. They say they don't... but they do.
Agent Josh: I don't think of them as the music network. I think of them as the home of crappy shows like The Hills and Jersey Shore.
Gordon: If you're an MTV executive, there's only one person you need. And none of you mentioned him. Justin. Bieber.
Jason: DAMN!
Chico: OMIGOD!!!
Jason: Of course.
Agent Josh: Who?
Chico: Everyone wants to be that prig's friend... Well, almost.
Jason: He is the 16 yr old overexposed teen superstar of today
Chico: Shaq vs., anyone?
Jason: And On CSI
Gordon: But I like Jason's answer $2,000 to him. $1,600 for an obvious Jersey Shore choice from Chico.
Chico: When you don't have what's right, go with what works.
Gordon: $400 for Josh for...Hugh Hefner?
Agent Josh: That was cause They took my Jersey Shore idea.
Gordon: Sure, I'm 12-15 years old. I want to see someone trying to be friends with an 80 year old pervert.
Chico: NEXT QUESTION!

Gordon: Jason, you are in control.
Jason: "Forensic Says...."
Gordon: FOX just said that with 3 shows on their network, Gordon Ramsay is considered their CSI Franchise. The shows would be Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen nightmares and Master Chef. How accurate are they?
Chico: Not very.
Jason: While there are three different shows...CSI is the same show in three different cities on Fox
Chico: CBS will put all three CSIs on one at a time. Gordon Ramsay will be on three different shows... at different times In the same slot.
Agent Josh: I'd say they are 2/3rds right. MasterChef is one of the best new cooking shows out there. Hell's kitchen is entering it'...I dunno...seventh, eighth cycle? The only dud was Kitchen Nightmares, and even I will admit the British version was better.
Jason: Hell's Kitchen is looking for the best chef, Kitchen Nightmares helps restaurants, and Master Chef is looking for the best AMATEUR CHEF.
Jason: So no, not CSI Primetime player, yes. CSI...no.
Chico: Right. No CSI, but is making Fox money...I'd say it was more like a Dancing with the Stars for ABC. And then you have whatever ABC is limping to the barn with in between seasons.
Gordon: Do you realize that the second best show, in terms of making FOX money, behind American Idol, is Hell's Kitchen?
Jason: I do.
Agent Josh: I did! I said it was a success!
Gordon: Between the back end revenues, Gordon's books, the videos, dvd, setc.
Chico: Yep Gordon Ramsay is not hurting for a meal. And that's not just because he's one of the world's premier chefs of the next millennium, either.
Gordon: He gives FOX low cost shows and makes a ton of profits. So the answer is YES. Ramsay is FOX's second biggest cash cow behind Idol. And Masterchef is becoming the biggest new show Summer hit. $2,000 for Chico, who was the closest. $1,600 for Josh, who was ALMOST there, and $1,200 for Jason.

Gordon: Last one: 5,760 minutes to win it and 1,440 minutes to lose it. Now here's the question. The people selected for Dancing With the Stars have around 4 weeks to practice for the first dance, then wait for 24 hours to see someone be the first person booted. WHO will it be and WHY?
Agent Josh: I think it will be Audrina Patridge. To me, it's the only "Unrecognizable" name on the list. Even if you are one of two people in the US that have not heard of Jersey Shore, you have probably heard the name of Mike "The Situation". If you think of "The Hills", you think of Spencer or Heidi....Not Audrina. (steps down)
Jason: The correct answer is Margaret Cho. While everyone will want to say Bristol Palin, the Palins have a huge fan base. Cho is one of those people who rub people the wrong way. It's Cho(steps down)
Chico: Tucker Carlson had a huge fanbase. Look what happened to him. But we're not talking about him. Now I had a choice between the most polarizing (Bristol) and the most leggy and attractive (Audrina), both of which were archetypes for early dismissal. But most attractive usually hits the bricks more often than more polarizing (I call it "The Master P Rule"), so... Audrina.
Gordon: Let's look at the 1st placed losers in the seasons, shall we?
Jason: Let's.
Chico: Nice.
Gordon: It's usually reserved for not only the least popular, but the person who dances badly.
Chico: Theoretically, that's how it works.
Gordon: The first person out has always finished in the bottom 5 in terms of judges scores.
Chico: Right
Gordon: So its not only about popularity. you also have to see who can't dance. So therefore, I think all of these answers are right, BUT... There will be a correct answer to this, and the answer will be revealed in 2 weeks. SO...we'll see then who wins Categories :)
Jason: WOW! Thank you Jeff Probst!
Chico: That's.... not fair.
Agent Josh: .....ooooooh
Chico: That's quite evil. That's... just like you.
Gordon: Thank you :)
Jason: :)
Gordon: So while we get a to be continued from here, we will be concluding our semi-finals. We promise.
Agent Josh: LOL

(Brought to you today by Press Your Luck: Other W. We've seen what folks in the new millennium have done with a show from the 80s. Now let's see what it looks like when folks in the new millennium do a show from the 80s AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE DONE IN THE NEW MILLENNIUM.)

Agent Josh: LOL
Jason: Do you have Metroid Other M? :)
Chico: Yes I do.
Jason: And?
Chico: That is a BUY. Team Ninja ought to be proud of themselves.
Gordon: Who's up for the GSNN Semifinals?
Agent Josh: I am! *passes out some vuvuzelas*
Jason: YO!
Chico: Me! We're down to the final four.
Agent Josh: Wow....
Chico: Which of them will meet each other for glory as the best game show in the world currently airing?
Gordon: We start with...

Jeopardy Vs. The Price is Right

Agent Josh: Oooh
Jason: You have two shows that have both worldwide and pop culture significance.
Chico: On one hand, you have the gold standard of quiz shows.
Agent Josh: On the other hand, you got one of the longest running games in TV history.
Jason: For me, I love both shows just about equally for different reasons.
Chico: But we're not going on length or breadth, but on importance. Jeopardy!'s been on the air in some form for over 40 years. Same with TPIR. Jeopardy! has not changed its format but for one time that we'll forget about. TPIR changed once... and it turned into the behemoth that it remains to this day. This is hard. But in the end, it's all down to importance... CBS, Goodson-Todman, and ultimate FremantleMedia made their fortunes on TPIR... because it's one that EVERYONE can play. Trivia, though... can only be appreciated by people who like intelligence and competition and a reasonable combinatino of both. TPIR, it's you and you alone...So as much as it pains me... TPIR.
Jason: Jeopardy was born out of the quiz show scandals out of the 1950's. And if J! wasn't successful, we dont know what would have happened with this industry. So....Jeopardy.
Agent Josh: I will say the Price is Right, because for most people, if you say "Game Shows", the first thing that pops into mind is TPiR. It's the gold standard for audience participation shows.
Gordon: Both shows have survived with changes of long-running hosts. In this case, TPIR has had 3 hosts while Jeopardy has had 2. Just on longevity and the variety of games (vs. only one format for Jeoppardy) have to go with TPIR. If you look at it, the concept of pricing is a hit with everyone, Vs. trivia, which doesn't address the whole country. Thats why we've had tons of TPIR specials Vs. one Super Jeopardy series on Saturday nights.

FANS: TPIR

Agent Josh: But that was a tough call.
Chico: Again, it's close. It was by a hair.
Gordon: Both shows are great shows. And so are the shows from the other bracket.

Pop Idol Vs. Who Wants to be a Millionaire

Jason: This one is much easier for me. While WWTBAM is the show that changed my life (and lots of others), as well as was the show that brought back the 2nd wave of the new Millennium, Pop Idol redefined both the Reality show and Music Genres. Pop Idol in a crush.
Agent Josh: This is a home run for me. Millionaire is still a juggernaut all around the world in it's classic format, and has spawned two other formats (The New Millionaire this fall in the US, and Hot Seat in Australia) I will say Millionaire.
Chico: Now here are the two game changers. One proved that a game show/reality show with drama, action, and high stakes can work in the here and now. The other... did the same with a different format, AND it involved the audience. In the end, were it not for the success of Millionaire, I doubt that a show like Idol would've worked or even been attempted. Millionaire.
Gordon: Millionaire ruled the U.S. Airwaves for 3 years. Idol has ruled it for 8 and is currently the #1 show in the US. Idol.
Chico: So we're tied at 2. This one is going to the fans.
Agent Josh: *drumroll*

FANS: MILLIONAIRE

Agent Josh: *BLOWS LOUDLY INTO THE VUVUZELA* TOOOOOOOOOT!
Jason: HUGE UPSET here.
Gordon: I don't think its an upset. Millionaire is still millionaire
Chico: There you go. So there's your final match up...

Agent Josh: That's a heavyweight title fight right there.
Gordon: Classic Pricing game Vs. Classic Trivia Game
Chico: One of these... is the best... game show... EVER.... this four-year period.
Jason: That's where you come in
Agent Josh: How so?
Chico: We're going to vote. They're going to vote. Most points wins. Duh. One will hoist the GSNN globe. The other will leave broken and humiliated... too much?
Agent Josh: I wouldn't say they leave broken and humiliated.
Jason: Nope.
Gordon: What about just humbled?
Agent Josh: That's better. But still grateful of making the finals.
Chico: There you go. So the question to be asked... The Price Is Right... Who Wants to Be a Millionaire... Fans, WHO TAKES IT?
Gordon: We'll find out next week. Next up - we go to a commercial before the Speed Round.

(Brought to you by Blow Me Down. North Carolina braces for the latest hurricane before blowing into New Yor...well wait, there was no hurricane up in the NYC area. Apparently Earl only wants to blow Chico.)

Agent Josh: HEY!
Chico: Didn't even blow me that hard.
Jason: WHOA! There goes the rating!
Gordon: So Earl was soft and gentle in blowing you?
Chico: It just sneezed in my neck of the woods and left.
Agent Josh: We just went from TV PG to TV MA!
Chico: Over on the coast, the beaches are actually back in business now.
Gordon: Cool. So before Josh calls the FCC on us, let's start the Speed Round...NOW! Big Brother: Who doesn't make the Final Head of Household Challenge?
Jason: Britney
Agent Josh: Brit's outta there.
Chico: Bye Brit.
Gordon: Baby evict me one more time. Britney
Chico: Top Chef... who's going to the final?
Jason: Don't know
Agent Josh: Too close to call.
Gordon: Angelo is
Chico: Like it.
Gordon: AGT: Give me someone you KNOW makes the finals.
Agent Josh: Fighting Gravity
Chico: Jackie Evancho.
Gordon: Jackie Evancho
Jason: I will say Fighting Gravity as well. I think they win it all, actually.
Chico: NO! DON'T SAY THAT!
Jason: LOL
Agent Josh: DON'T SAY THAT!
Gordon: SAY IT! :D
Chico: We like Fighting Gravity! A Lot!
Jason: Did I just curse them?
Gordon: (Calls Bookie. Bets $69 on Jackie Evancho)
Chico: Okay, mail time? Got any?
Gordon: Not from me.
Agent Josh: I don't have any,
Chico: Darn
Chico: But you could always leave us some love on Facebook or MySpace... or the plain old e-mail at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com
Gordon: Before we end thid week, what will you be watching?
Agent Josh: I will be watching AGT and Wipeout.
Gordon: I'll be watching...FOOTBALL!
Chico: AGT? Yes. Thursday football? Yes. ANTM? .... Sorry. Okay, that's all the show that I can think up to muster... and my week is no longer terrible, horrible, no good for very bad.
Gordon: I didnt try hard enough then :)
Chico: Well, there's always next week. Thanks Jason Block!
Jason: Thank you!
Chico: Thanks Agent Josh!
Agent Josh: An honor and a pleasure as always.
Gordon: Next week: AGT's Final 5, ANTM's Final 13 and our Final winner on GSNN's World Cup
Chico: Can't wait for that. Until then for Gordon Pepper and everyone at GSNN... Thanks for reading... Game over... and spread the love.