Episode 24.8 - You Say Goodbye, We Say Hello
July 26

Chico: Hey, this is Chico Alexander... and this week, we're saying goodbye.
Gordon: Goodbye...Wait a second...what?
Chico: Don't worry, we're not going anywhere...
Gordon: Oh good.
Chico: But a couple of people are. Namely Andy Richter and Carnie Wilson.
Gordon: And they're not walking away with consolation prizes. But we also say hello. Say hello, Chico.
Chico: Hello, Chico.
Gordon: That joke never gets old.
Chico: Nope. From somewhere in America, the "You Say Goodbye, We Say Hello" edition of WLTI... is.. .ON!
Gordon: Yay! Gordon Pepper here, and we start with saying goodbye, which is a sort of strange way to start a show, if you ask me.
Chico: Well, it's the biggest story of the week, so it makes a LITTLE sense. The GOOD news... the Newlywed Game will return this fall for a fourth season.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: The BAD... or even better news depending on how you look at it, the hit show will be without its host as Carnie Wilson bows out.
Gordon: There were reports of her having health issues on the set during tapings. If that's the reason why, we wish her the best and a speedy recovery.
Chico: Seems to be the most obvious reason.
Chico: After all, we saw on "Unstapled" that her diabetes relapsed. Thank you, Dr. Oz.
Gordon: So that's a major issue. Now for all the complaints that we get that she's not Bob Eubanks, and as much as pick on her, I think she is a very competent host who should get another gig somewhere.
Chico: Agreed. I mean, she had the charm to sustain the show. Part of me wants to think that she had a hand in the show's success (unparalleled by GSN standards).
Gordon: I think she did. We've seen shows with great concepts get torpedoed by horrible hosts. Carnie got the show through 3 seasons, so that has to be worth something.
Chico: Not to mention her Emmy nomination.
Gordon: Very true. But now the obvious question is - who replaces her?
Chico: I think it's time to throw stuff on the Big Board and see what sticks.
Gordon: Sounds good.

Chico: We're calling this one "Here Comes a Newly-Host". Obviously, we can throw in Bob Eubanks, who's hosted two eps of the current version (as well as, oh, 1000 episodes elsewhere).
Gordon: That would be the obvious one. And probably the most correct one. But let's say he doesn't want the gig. Who else you got?
Chico: Here's one for you... they could go the "gee, what comic is available right now".
Gordon: That seems to be a popular way to go (See Price is Right, The)
Chico: And "Let's Make a Deal"... and "Family Feud"...
Gordon: So what comic would you put in?
Chico: I forgot who she was, but she was on Reality Bites Back...
Gordon: Amy Schumer?
Chico: Bingo.
Gordon: I heart Amy.
Chico: I know you do.
Gordon: And she has hosted a game show on MySpace.
Chico: And it was strikingly similar to TNG, so...
Gordon: I would add Julian McCullough to that. But of course, if you want comics who have hosted a game show who don't seem to be doing anything right now, add Frank Nicotero (Street Smarts) to the list.
Chico: Another good friend of ours. :-) There's also the "economy" route... They're already paying Bob Guiney for GSN Live, might as well give him ANOTHER half hour.
Gordon: Or pepople who already have ties to GSN, including Graeme Elwood, Kennedy, Fred Roggin, Annie Duke and Jai Rodriguez. What about if GSN really wants to be economical...Jerry Springer? He already is doing Season 2 of Baggage and that can make an hour of Springer promo.
Chico: ... Good idea, but no.
Gordon: Don't forget that this is a Michael Davies show, so Michael could reach into his own bag of hosts. Like a Tim Vincent or a Dean Cain, or an Andy Richter, since he doesn't seem to be hosting Pyramid right now.
Chico: CBS has made a decision in the great Daytime Watch of 2010... and unless you're a mom or a fan of Julie Chen, it's not good news.
Gordon: So we say goodbye once again. This time to Pyramid's chances of landing on CBS Daytime.
Chico: Yep. They opted for the mom-targeted talker created by Sara Gilbert (of "Roseanne" fame) and starring her, Chen, Sharon Osbourne, and Holly Robinson Peete. Let's go over the pros and the cons here. The pros... the show has a clear direction and a clear target and they both clearly match.
Gordon: And it's also in the early afternoon, against soap operas. So the hope here is that the people who watch The View will take lunch, then show up again for 'The Talk'.
Chico: Right on. And as for Pyramid, they're free to shop it elsewhere, including syndication, or even GSN should they want it.
Gordon: I don't see it at GSN. I don't think GSN would have the budget for that sort of show.
Chico: ... not for a daily. Unless they decide to play the $10,000 edition.
Gordon: I do see it, however, as a syndicated entity and good distribution per 5th Grader, Deal or No Deal, etc. So I think they should go that route.
Chico: True. As for cons... well, it's another shot to the gut for the long-standing format.
Gordon: Well there's 2 other major cons for CBS.
Chico: What are they?
Gordon: #1. You can't tell me with a straight face that The Talk will make more ancillary back end money than Pyramid, which has the video games, board games, internet capability, etc.
Chico: Well, when you're talking about that, you're talking about profits that the production will see the lion's share of. Not necessarily appealing if you're Nina Tassler, who will own the right to broadcast, but not the right to coproduce.
Gordon: Not necessarily. That's all ironed out in contractual details. Let's Make a Deal did it without an issue.
Chico: True.
Gordon: Here's the second con, and it's a big one.
Chico: Hold on, let me get my helmet... okay, go...
Gordon: Let's just say you are a housewife living in the Bible Belt.
Chico: Well... I'm not, but I know a few. Go on.
Gordon: The Midwestern/Southern housewife, by the way, is your target demographic for this sort of show.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: We have Holly Robinson Peete, who would be acceptable.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: You have Julie Chen, who has a child, but has only raised one for less than a year, so there's no experience factor there.
Chico: Right. You have Sharon Osbourne... who's raised three well-adjusted albeit odd children...
Gordon: You consider 2 of the 3 kids going to rehab and the other one staying as far away from the parents as humanly possible well-adjusted?
Chico: ... I retract that statement. =p
Gordon: Aimee, the 'well-adjusted one', has been smart enough to stay out of the camera limelight. Jack and Kelly have both gone to rehab, and I don't have to start on the legendary fights between Sharon and Ozzy during their drug haze days.
Chico: Those were the days, eh? :-)
Gordon: Then there's Gilbert, who's in a Lesbian relationship. Now here at WLTI, we love all people, but if you're a Midwestern Bible belt housewife, you're not going to be too thrilled that she's on your TV set. So, Chico, you're the housewife. Are you really going to be watching them give advice as to how to raise your kids?
Chico: No. So if you're the judgmental type, you're thinking "Throwing four people together and having them talk about things that they have no idea about."
Gordon: Exactly. So I'm not sure about the success on this. I think people will watch to see the celebrities, but if said celebrities don't produce, it's going to tank.
Chico: And we'll be back to having this conversation. One more thing before we move on. The Talk is co-hosted by Julie Chen, who is married to Les Moonves,. who ultimately signs off on this sort of thing. Just sayin'.
Gordon: So we say goodbye to Pyramid for now. We also say goodbye to 8 talented hopefuls on America's Got Talent.



Gordon: This week, I want to do something different. Instead of talking about the 4 groups that advanced (Alice Tan Ridley, Ascendance, Antonio Restivo and Michael Grimm, none of which were surprises), let's talk about the 8 talents that didn't. Big Bored please?

Gordon: The subject: America Doesn't Have This Talent ANymore.
Chico: A lot of Xes this episode.
Gordon: Half of the eliminated group got buzzed at least once, which leads us to wonder how they made the Top 48 to begin with. Let's start with... Cheer SF.
Chico: No market in it.
Gordon: If you're a cheerleading group, you have to set the bar VERY high and be technically perfect. Cheer SF were neither.
Chico: Mona Sampath Dance Company. See "Ishaara". They were pretty good as well, but the audience for Bollywood dancing isn't there.
Gordon: Chico said it the best a few weeks ago. America weill never vote in a foreign dance group. And certainly not Bollywood. Sorry. Iron Horse.
Chico: ... or a Rockabilly band.
Gordon: I disagree. America will vote in a good band. This wasn't it. I was really disappointed here. i thought We'd get a better performance.
Chico: John Beatty 'The Strong Man'... About as shallow as you can get
Gordon: You guys let him in? Really? Why? Ronith...
Chico: Who?
Gordon: Another of the 'How did he get in the Top 48?' I'd rather see the 48 best talent even if they are all singers if we have to sit through this. The only reason why I think they let some of these people in is to protect the 'Favorites' from being upset in the early rounds with acts so bad that they have no chance.
Chico: Dare you say "the fix is in"?
Gordon: No. I'll say the 1 seed Vs. 16 seed matchup is in. How's that?
Chico: I'll accept it. Hannibal Means... Well, let's take a look at the bracket. There are out of 12 acts, there are five singers. That's a diluted vote. Which means one thing: perform or go home.
Gordon: And Ridley and Grimm are both in this one. He got a bad draw.
Chico: Same could be said for... Lil Chris.
Gordon: Agreed.
Chico: And Antonio Restivo versus...Wreckless
Gordon: The dancers got caught against a variety act. You know as well as I do that the variety act will advance.
Chico: Because you have to have a variety act.
Gordon: Yep. So there's the 8 that left us. And also leaving them...Monet.



Chico: Now we could chalk it up to being a dumb model who didn't see it coming...
Gordon: We could. And it would be easy to do so. But there's more to that.
Chico: I betcha there is.
Gordon: She made enemies when she didn't need to, and she made no allies, to the point that Matt from The Brigade offered himself up as a pawn.
Chico: Now normally we say that you don't offer yourself as a pawn. Ever. But this time, Matt had the numbers advantage.
Gordon: Now that is an extraordinarily dumb move - but Matt turned it into a stroke of genius by claiming he wanted nothing to do with it and turning the house against Brendon and Rachel.
Chico: That was clearly a genius move. Draw the cover onto someone else.
Gordon: And when Matt became the HOH this week, you think he would put up Brendon and Rachel, since logically, he would do it. HOWEVER, Matt then makes the Dumb-Ass move of the week, putting Andrew and Kathy up. He wants to back door Brandon or Rachel, but that doesn't work when Brandon wins the Veto. Now assuming he's not an idiot, Brandon is not going to use the Veto, which keeps him and Rachel both safe in the house. Again. And now, 1. Andrew or Kathy goes home and 2. Matt's cover may get completely blown as the house is turning against each other.
Chico: Either way, Andrew needs a miracle to stay in the house any longer.
Gordon: Agreed. but that's Andrew's own fault also. If he wasn't such a weirdo and if he made allies, Matt wouldn't have put him up in the first place.
Chico: I'll buy that. Andrew's not doing himself any favors by a) being a little iconoclast this soon, and 2) lying about who he is.
Gordon: Nope. And I don't think he'll be around long enough to tell the truth, barring a massive brain fart by Brandon.
Chico: Yeah, that's not happening... neither is a million dollar win in earnest on Minute to Win It.

Gordon: Goodbye, legitimate chance to win the million.
Chico: But you wouldn't believe how close they were to it. I mean, this was one of those classic call up the kids moments. Aaron Hendrick & Kimberly Fox are on their $500,000 minute: Extreme Nutstacker. It's the same as regular Nutstacker, but you have to pull it off using a cutting board. They have all three lives with them. Kimberly tries and fails ten seconds in. Aaron was SO CLOSE! Once you stack the nuts, you have to hold it for a three-count. Aaron... 2.45 seconds. That one had to go to an instant replay, MLB officials.
Gordon: Don't forget World Cup Soccer refs
Chico: Right on. The final try.... on the buzzer for $500,000.
Gordon: YAY!
Chico: But they would not play the Million dollar game, and with half a mill and zero lives in stock, I can't blame them one bit.
Gordon: Not a chance. Especially if Super Duper Extreme Supercoin is a possibility. I walk.
Chico: Speaking of Supercoin, Fernando Garcia gets a shot at the asterisk...
Gordon: Did we give out a million with Supercoin this week!!??!?!?!?
Chico: ....
Gordon: ....
Chico: No. Fernando fails. Awww.
Gordon: Waa waaaaa
Chico: Also on Wednesday night, the official premiere of 24 Hour Restaurant Battle, in which teams of two take on Food Network's version of restaurant wars.
Gordon: We say hello to the show. Hello.
Chico: They each have a dream of opening their own restaurant... And 24 hours to do it.
Gordon: The premise is simple. 2 teams have 24 hours to create their own restaurant concept. Winners gets 10 grand.
Chico: How do we assess the winner?
Gordon: By a combination of judges and patrons who ate the food.
Chico: So there's actually a chance of YOU determining who gets ten grand.
Gordon: That's right. ME. Fear and tremble.
Chico: Oh bugger.
Gordon: Especially since I WENT to one of the tapings, so I was a patron with a scorecard. Mwa ha ha ha ha.
Chico: And the whole thing is officiated by "Chopped" hardass Scott Conant. Now here's one of the good bits. Besides being a hardass, he's also a successful chef and restauranteur.
Gordon: He is. The good: These people know what they are talking about.
Chico: And it's structured well, so most people aren't exactly flying blind.
Gordon: It's easy to follow, and the editing is good. You can tell who's going to win and why.
Chico: Not effective story telling, but it gets you there (I like subtle hints, but at the same time, being kept guessing to the end.)
Gordon: I also like that they say both good and bad points about each team.
Chico: That's always good.
Gordon: It is. Now the bad points about the show. #1. If you're looking for master cooking, this isn't it. These are clearly amateurs.
Chico: Yep. I mean, they're good cooks, but they're home cooks. They have their set rules and if you try them at home, you're going to get burned, scorched and end up with a slight caramel.
Gordon: Yes, plus you're not going to get good cooking tips here.
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: This is 'So you think you want a restaurant, huh? Heh heh heh'
Chico: On that same token, if you're looking to become a restaurant owner, you'd better look elsewehere.

	24HOUR RESTAURANT BATTLE - Food
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C+	B-	B-

Gordon: True. However, this is a fun show. And if there wasn't anything else on, I'd watch this. C+
Chico: Same here... Scott's newbie-adept hosting bumps it up for me. B-
Gordon: Scott is a very good host. He reminds me of a little greener Ted Allen. he's solid.
Chico: Well, he's been around Ted for a while now. We'll have another Capsule Review next week. Meanwhile, the hams have been opening their own restaurant. The appetizer... macaroni & cheese. The entree... Cheese-stuffed chicken cordon bleu. The dessert...Take a guess.
Gordon: Cheesecake?
Chico: Cheesecake.
Gordon: They are being challenged by Hans the pig and Drew the Bookworm, with their Bacon and Eggs combo. They have Bacon and Eggs, followed by Chef Salad, Split Pea Soup with Ham, Ground Mole' with Rice, and Chocolate mousse with bacon bits.
Chico: I know everything's better with bacon, but still... ew?
Gordon: With a pig as the chef. Awk.ward. Roll that beautiful Bacon footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Gordon: Let's start it up with a Datebook

This week starts up MasterChef on Fox. We also have the latest season of Project Runway, as well as continual eliminations on our Summer shows. We also have the season finales of Jeopardy! and Late Night Liars.

Chico: Lots of action going on this Summer. Next, on the Business End, we have a visit from...



Gordon: It's Augustus, our resident Game Show Zombie Stripper. When he shows up, it means that a game show has been stripped from it's timeslot.

There's only one episode of "Shark Tank" left to air. It was postponed to the 29th... then it was pulled off the air indefinitely, to be replaced by the second run of Wipeout.

Gordon: I think the show can be fed to the sharks as chum.
Chico: I think it was the one that got away.
Gordon: But look, I see a green buoy in the distance. Guess you have a greenlight?
Chico: I do.

VH1's got a new series out. It's called Money Hungry, and it's going to do for the Biggest Loser what Chopped did for Top Chef.

Chico: Basically, 12 teams of players will front $10,000 of THEIR OWN MONEY to see who can drop the most weight.
Gordon: Let me state that I despise this concept. You want to talk unethical and cut-throat when someone else's money is on the line? Just wait what happens when YOUR OWN money is on the line.
Chico: But "weight"... it gets better. This from the release...

"Although the contestants will be given access to personal trainers, personalized meal plans and state of the art amenities, working out and dieting are only half the battle. Game play and strategy are a huge part of Money hungry"

Gordon: This, once again, from the network who swore up and down that they wouldn't do these type of shows. Lovely.
Chico: I think we're talking a one-and-done here.
Gordon: I'm hoping its 1 episode.
Chico: If only, G.
Gordon: Well I have dumb people who should have no more episodes made of them. Now we've had the Marijuana storyline the past few weeks. First it was Paris Hilton's entourage, then Paris Hilton.
Chico: Great, now what?

Are You Smarter than...Bret Michaels, who gets busted by the Police who find the green leafy stuff in his tour bus, along with another 'controlled substance'

Chico: Whoa...My hand is huge.
Gordon: Let's see. Does lots of pot. Has brain issues. I'm not saying these 2 events are connected, but Chico, you work in the medical field. Please tell us how pot affects your brain.
Chico: It slows it down. There's a reason it's called "dope", Dope.
Gordon: Does it kill brain cells?
Chico: Pretty much, yeah.
Gordon: So it could cause a stroke?
Chico: The two have not been linked, but recreational drug use has been known to cause strokes.
Gordon: So we're not saying, but just saying.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: And just for shiggles...

Are YOU Smarter than Big Brother's Matt, who not only wasted a week as HOH, but who now has a bunch of new enemies?

Chico: The Brigade is going to be broken up sooner rather than later.
Gordon: Maybe. Here's someone with no brain cells



4th and Long and Brainrush have passed the year long 'Where are they on my TV?' mark. So the answer is that they are 4th and gone

Chico: With no brain cells.
Gordon: Brain cells all gone, too.
Chico: I guess Sarah Karges is going to find a job doing nothing elsewhere.
Gordon: Pretty much. And speaking of no brain cells...



In this week's Bachelorette, Ali sees Frank proclaim his love to another girlfriend and leave the show.

Chico: *facepalm* Next item, please, anything else..
Gordon: What makes it interesting is some 'sources' say that this who Ali WOULD have picked, which means that even if she does pick one of the remaining 2 bachelors, the time spent with him could be very short.
Chico: In that case, let's get loaded.

GSN is making a cash game out of the Mahjongg Dimensions Facebook application.

Gordon: Loserville didn't cut it for them?
Chico: Oh, it cut it for them, but if you want to survive in the Facebook game department, you have to diversify your portfolio. It's like the stock market.
Gordon: I think I could make more trading media hoes.
Chico: You could. *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*

In this week's Media Ho Report, Piers Morgan looks to replace Larry King, Bethenny Frankel plays 5th Grader, Nicole Scherzinger judges on X-Factor...Jeff Probst pesides over Jenna Fischer's marriage, David Archuleta plans a 2nd album, Ed McMahons house goes o the market for 4.6 million...Donald Trump Jr. guest judges on Design Star, Mike O'Malley (Get the Picture) does Glee, and both Shaquille O'Neal and Simon Cowell face lawsuits.

Gordon: But none of them are your ho of the week.
Chico: Let me guess... Jimmy Johnson?
Gordon: How did you guess?
Chico: I'm just swag like that. :-)
Gordon: You are. Jimmy Johnson is it, because he's one of the players in next season's Survivor. Huh?
Chico: Jimmy Johnson? The coach of the Dallas Cowboys Jimmy Johnson? The FOX Sports commentator Jimmy Johnson? THAT Jimmy Johnson?
Gordon: That one, yes. If they want to get more eyeballs, they will get them.
Chico: You're going to need all the help you can get. Remember, you're going to Wednesdays now. Survivor Wednesday, Big Bang Thursday, Miami Sunday... Hawaii Five-0.
Gordon: True. Jimmy will be going around the world. Let's do the same.

1 vs. 100 is going to Indonesia.

Gordon: Whooo
Chico: I like it.

Meanwhile, we're going to Japan as well, as we pick up yet another edition of Hole in the Wall on Cartoon Network for 10 eps.

Gordon: Ugh.
Chico: If you're going to do it... probably better off on Cartoon Network. But still, it's fun for about 30 seconds.
Gordon: And that's Brainvision. Shut it Down.
Chico: Okay, still to come, we have fun, one word at a time, in a new game, but first... I'm grabbing my falafel and heading to the Middle East (and Africa) for the World Cup.
Gordon: It's the World Cup of games in Africa. And it comes to you next.
Chico: This is We Love to Interrupt, you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you 22 euphemisms for "making whoopee".
Gordon: Make Love, Beating the Monkey, Whacking the Weasel...

(BrainVision has been brought to you by The Super Dooper Looper Coin. Let's see if you can throw a quarter from a Hershey Park Roller Coater into a jug below. It can be done....maybe...and it gives us programming for the next 52 years! Yay!)

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