Episode 21.13
August 31

Gordon: So it's the finest in Chima.
Chico: It's the finest in something. Welcome back... or if you're just joining us, where've you been? Time now for... Who's Your Daddy? Today, it's all about ... "the legendary" Paula Abdul.
Jason: Ok
Chico: She quit Idol and now she has a lineup of people hoping to fill her judging shoes. We're going to assess all of them as only we can - with sharp pointy sticks and quick wit.
Gordon: (pokes with pointy stick)
Chico: We start obviously with a core, and that core is...

PAULA ABDUL. Only logical.

Chico: Gordon, stop poking Paula with a pointy stick. She will serve as the standard.
Gordon: Ok, Daddy.
Chico: And don't call me daddy. Next is... Shania Twain. Country star with a rock wheelhouse.
Gordon: I think Paula is better. She's more well-rounded.
Jason: Honestly above Abdul. She was married to Mutt Lange. He may have been a perv, but he knew his stuff.
Chico: He knew his stuff... but it's all about her. I'm going below Paula. So...

Paula > SHANIA

Chico: Next up... Ms. No More Drama, Mary J. Blige. She's been through a lot in the industry, but is she more of the imparting side?
Gordon: Mary's had her issues with what could be in Paula's Coke Can. Between Paula and Shania.
Jason: Mary is the soul sister everyone tries to be. Above Shania
Chico: Sounds about right. Paula's still the best, though.

Paula > MARY J. > Shania

Chico: Next, a woman who all her life prayed for big boobs and a #1 hit... then woke up with both. Katy Perry.
Jason: Below Shania. Too Young.
Chico: I honestly don't think she's seasoned enough as a pop star to be a serious judge. Bottom rung.
Gordon: No lack of diversity. Bottom.

Paula > Mary J. > Shania > KATY

Chico: Next... one third of one of the biggest pop bands of this year... Joe Jonas. See Katy Perry. Bottom rung.
Jason: Jonas believe it or not...above Mary J. He plays music, and writes too. This is a different animal. While Perry just sings. He does it all.
Chico: Gordon, you're the decider.
Gordon: See Chico. Bottom Rung.
Chico: We average it out to a nice little place....

Paula > Mary J. > Shania > JOE > Katy

Chico: ... that there. I almost wrote "Jonas Prig" Next... Mrs. Becks. Former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham.
Jason: Now you have the bottom of the barrel. Below Katy.
Chico: She's got the vocal chops. She knows what makes a pop star. She's British. Below Mary J.
Gordon: Above the kids, but that's it.
Chico: And that's where it goes.

Paula > Mary J. > Shania > VICTORIA > Joe > Katy

Chico: Next... a former Idoler done good.... Kelly Clarkson.
Jason: Above Paula.
Chico: Honestly... above Paula. She has everything Paula has... PLUS the advantage of having gone through what the contestants are going through (we call it the Heather West Postulate)
Gordon: The only person so far that intrigues me, just because she's been there and she can give insight. Above Paula.

KELLY > Paula > Mary J. > Shania > Posh > Jonas Prig > Boobies.

Chico: Next... the first of two Broadway heavy-hitters. This one's a notorious game show fan. Neil Patrick wait for it..... Harris.
Jason: Between Shania and Posh.
Gordon: Not as much experience and he's not known for music. Bottom.
Chico: Vocal experience, performance experience... but no recording experience... Sorry, Neil, but you're going between Joe and Victoria. He's one step above Quentin Tarantino.

Kelly > Paula > Mary J. > Shania > Posh > NPH > Jonas Prig > Boobies.

Chico: And finally for the for-real entries. The other Broadway star. This one actually recorded an album, Kristin Chenoweth. I think she's going to have a problem saying something bad.
Jason: Between Shania and Posh. She is well known and has chops.
Chico: Below Posh if only for that.
Gordon: I think Kristen is known, but again, not enough diversity. Under Posh.

Kelly > Paula > Mary J. > Shania > Posh > KRISTIN > NPH > Jonas Prig > Boobies.

Chico: And finally... the spoiler... the one person who has about as much chance of being an Idol guest judge as Jason has of being Miss America... Gordon, coin flip. Call it in the air.
Gordon: Tails
Chico: ... It's Tails, you are the Spoiler! Where would you put yourself? Impartially, of course.
Jason: I know where I would put him.
Chico: As a game show critic and purveyor of good taste?
Gordon: Honestly? I've got the musical background in different genres. And I have the critiquing experience. Between Paula and Mary J. Blige.
Jason: Seriously. Gordon is...100%...right.
Chico: I'd have to agree.
Jason: He has club experience. He knows music and has perfect pitch. And his record is very good.
Chico: He's got the background and the clout...
Jason: He knows his ****. And this isn't a suck up, folks. His record speaks for itself.
Gordon: Awwwww...Barf.
Chico: And he knows how to put someone in a position to win. So the final lineup...

Kelly > Paula > HATERADE > Mary J. > Shania > Posh > Kristin > NPH > Jonas Prig > and your dragon butt today... KATY PERRY.

Chico: You disagree, you know where to reach us.
Gordon: So now we're done singing. When we come back, we start zinging.
Chico: Zing!
Jason: See you on the other side.

(Brought to you by Mash-Up Course. We've seen cars compete against each other. Now let's see what works musically. Can you combine Tiffany with a Beatles song? What about The Clash and Public Enemy?... Who's the better Mash-Up DJ?)

Jason: That will work.
Chico: I'd watch.
Gordon: I would too. So now, the next question - are you ready to zing?
Chico: I'm so ready to Zing.
Jason: Bring it on, snark boy.
Gordon: First one...

Millionaire may allow the Top 10 season winners to risk what they have won for a Million Dollar Question.

Chico: And next season, Jeopardy! will follow suit by offering "one plus one" as a Final Jeopardy! clue.
Jason: I see Jaws, don't you?
Chico: Watch out, Fonzie!
Gordon: One of the Million Dollar questions will be 'Which last second game show gimmick worked the best?'
Jason: Gordon wins.
Chico: Yes he does. Next...

Country stars are due to take on the test in the new series of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"

Jason: The answer will be no. It's always no.
Gordon: They still haven't figured out if Kellie Pickler will be a contestant or a child in the class.
Chico: The over/under on redneck jokes.... 14.
Gordon: Next one...

Ryan Seacrest is looking for people who need cash to fulfill a dream.

Chico: My dream: to pretend Momma's Boys didn't exist. Not enough money in the world for that, I'm afraid.
Gordon: The thought of a show going on with that premise in this economy is more of a nightmare.
Jason: Not enough money for a three-way between me, Kara and Paula. Sorry.
Chico: Ewwwwww.
Gordon: And Jason, not only did my dream die with your thought, but so did my appetite.
Chico: Next up. Palate cleanser!

"Face the Ace" is undergoing a revised look that includes a louder, more active audience.

Jason: How about better game play?
Chico: What this show needs is a louder, more active Megan. What up?
Gordon: Now if we only had loud, better players.
Chico: No, Face the Ace! You're doing it wrong!
Gordon: What about Face Megan's Ace?
Chico: I'd rather face Megan's deuce.
Gordon: So you prefer a soft 8?
Chico: ... Boobies. Heh.
Gordon: Next one...

Check out Hoff Daddy Fresh on stage for America's Got Talent!

Jason: And Check the audience clicking over to Wipeout.
Chico: Protip: Cheeseburgers are NOT on the menu for a reason.
Gordon: Special Guest Stars: The Whopperettes!
Chico: I feel like a cheeseburger now. But first, I have this. Saving the best for last...

Pyramid is launching in Australia as a kid's game show.

Chico: Jimmy Baio not available for comment.
Gordon: Kids are playing for credit at real 7-11's.
Jason: The prize: 25,000 Slurpees.
Chico: I'm surprised we didn't make any kangaroo jokes.
Gordon: I just don't think that Australian jokes are very aboriginal.
Jason: OUCH.
Chico: And on that note, we're going to break for the Speed Round, coming up next.

(Brought to you by The World Series of Fluxx... the superstars of card gaming have come together to see who'll keep the keepers, avoid the creepers, and reach the goal first. At stake... well, just a heart card, because all you need is love.)

Gordon: I'd settle for a Radioactive Potato
Chico: I have that rule change card right here. "You Also Need a Baked Potato"
Jason: I don't know the game.
Chico: It's very addictive. It's basically a card game where the rules keep changing. You can Wiki it.
Gordon: Can you Wiki up a Speed Round?
Chico: I can. Big Brother. The couple's about to be split up. Who's going out the door first?
Gordon: Jeff. buh bye.
Jason: Yup.
Chico: K. ABDC. Southern Movement had a bowl movement. Next week... Bollywood, baby! Who'll get jai ho'd out of the competition?
Jason: Don't know.
Gordon: Beat Ya Feet Kings
Chico: Sounds about right.
Gordon: AGT: Give me one group making it to the finals.
Chico: Voices of Glory.
Jason: Sounds about right.
Gordon: I'll say Grandma Lee
Chico: You just had to be different.
Gordon: Serve up some mail, please.
Chico: I got some from Doug Morris.

Chico: I defer to the elder statesmen.
Gordon: Currently, there are no game shows on the air there. I don't know if they have had any game or gambling shows on that station.
Chico: If anyone out there knows the answer, please e-mail us
Jason: Yes please.
Chico: The address: wlti@gameshownewsnet.com
Gordon: Or YouTube, MySpace or Facebook us. That ends our show today. Special thanks to Jason Block for joining us.
Jason: Much thanks. As always.
Gordon: That ends it here. For Chico and Jason, this is Gordon, saying Game Over and Spread the Love.
Jason: See ya.