Episode 21.3
June 22

Chico: This is Chico Alexander... and I need to say something here. This may be the most important episode of WLTI this year. If you don't read any episode all the way through this year... Read this one.
Gordon: Dun Dun dunnnnnnnn. (Puts on Sam Spade Hat)
Chico: I just might need a new hat for this one. We've got a LOT of stuff to cover.
Gordon: More important than Paris Hilton looking for a new BFF?
Chico: More important than Paris Hilton and her old BFF getting back together.
Gordon: More important than GSN looking for where their Saturday night ratings went?
Chico: I told them it was a bad idea. But yeah... We're talking major league important. Even more so than anything this guy has to say...(Ross the intern) ... hooray! (/Ross the intern)
Gordon: ...wow. That's important.
Chico: So let's get going with it. From Somewhere in America... WLTI... is.. ON!
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Alongside is my partner in crime Gordon Pepper... Bon vivant... Bowling god... Amateur detective...
Gordon: Howdy. I think the Harper's Island killer is Muffin.
Chico: Last week you thought it was Booth. Unless you show me a maggot-riddled body, I'm still subscribing to that.
Gordon: I think it's a Maggotty Booth also, but Muffin could be a candidate at any time.
Chico: Fair enough. Okay, let's start with the biggest reason why this could be the most important WLTI this year...One word... Actually three words. Million Dollar Pyramid.
Gordon: Yep. The most important story of the year - and it hasn't gone on TV yet.
Chico: The pilot for CBS rolled this week. We saw pictures. It was spectacular... but Mr. Man here... He actually took a few field agents out there to watch it himself.
Gordon: I did.
Chico: So I guess we can start with the question... What can we expect?
Gordon: Very good question. I'll be running down some of what you can expect, what to not expect, and what may never be expected. Big Board please?

Gordon: The Subject: The Pyramid Lowdown.
Chico: Should be noted that the graphic came courtesy of our friend Carrie Grosvenor, who linked to the picture.
Gordon: Hi Carrie.
Chico: That's gameshows.about.com. Now, the lowdown...
Gordon: Let's start with what we can expect. 1. 1980's rules. All of the rules were to the letter - including the reinstatement of 7 in 30 seconds and the tiebreakers.
Chico: That would include the "two letters" tiebreaker, most points or fastest time.
Gordon: Its like they completely ignored the Donny Osmond version of Pyramid, and in my mind, that's a good thing.
Chico: Right...
Gordon: 2. The tournament. There will be an end of season tournament, where 10 people will be invited back, and over a 2 week period, someone will win a million dollars. Though they have ideas on how that's going to happen, nothing is written in stone, so I'm not going to discuss the process (lest it be changed).
Chico: But it's not going to be the 80's style tournament. That is, we play until someone wins.
Gordon: No, and it can't be. If it's a finite 2 week tournament, you can't set it up to chance that it goes over or under 2 weeks.
Chico: Right on.
Gordon: 3. The guests. These are Grade A quality celebrities Michael Davies had playing the show.
Chico: I saw the examples...Norm MacDonald, fresh off of Password.
Gordon: They included Caroline Rhea, Norm McDonald, Susie Essman, Jesse Metcalf, Kathy Najimy, Mo Rocca...and Ken Jennings.
Chico: ... Ken Jennings?
Gordon: Let's talk about that...4. Ken Jennings is a game show beast. In his lone show and lone trip up the Pyramid, he got the win in 31 seconds, not needing more than 3 clues in any one subject. For example: Pretzels, Potato Chips, The Ocean...
Chico: Things that are twisted?
Gordon: If I added Chico's brain in there, then you could be right.
Chico: ... *puzzled*
Gordon: Things that are salty.
Chico: Ah. But yeah, it's a pilot, so it's possible that he had a little help
Gordon: No help needed. You didn't have every group win the bonus round. Jennings was far and away the most impressive. McDonald and Rocca also had good showings.
Chico: They're good players. I believe Mo was on the 2002 Pyramid...
Gordon: I believe you are right. Now lets talk about what you WON'T expect.
Chico: Now what WON'T we expect.
Gordon: 1. A choice of host...yet. There was more than one host auditioning. Tim Vincent auditioned - as well as Dean Cain. I was there when they both auditioned.
Chico: Ah. Well?
Gordon: They both have plusses and minuses. Vincent had the better grasp of the game, but Cain was the better ad-libber and was smoother. Vincent is a Davies veteran and Michael would love him to be the host, but if it's about eyeballs, you can't go wrong with Cain, who will have a built-in audience.
Chico: After all, that's why Carey got the job :-)
Gordon: I think both of them could handle the job and I don't think there's a wrong choice here. I feel more comfortable with either of them hosting Pyramid than Carey hosting TPIR next season.
Chico: But that's another show. What else could surprise?
Gordon: The money amounts bandied on the show. You won't know how much you are going to be given out per show until you see an actual budget. I've seen some publications say they are definitely giving out a certain amount for a win. Not so fast. You won't know until they are budgeted and the real episodes come out.
Chico: Right. But screenshots have 100 through 600 on the big Pyramid
Gordon: Yes, but again, you don't know what the budget will entail.
Chico: Correct. This could just be for show.
Gordon: Exactly, and that leads to what the unknowns are.
Gordon: We'll start with the big one...#1. The set. Sure, there are nice pics, but that's only for the pilot. Old school fans would love to see the rotating trilons return, but if they are looking for bang for the buck, they are going to want something electronic. Manual trilons are cheap programming, so it may - or may not - stay like that.
Chico: They're not returning. Wouldn't be cost-effective.
Gordon: It's cost-effective. But it's not flashy. The ideal would be electronically programmed trilons, which could happen.
Chico: I can see electronic "trilons". It's why the Wheel board went digital. Instead of making up the slides, changing bulbs etc...just load the game up on a computer and go to town. That's more money in the contestants' pockets... or at least money saved in the long run. And if you ask me, Michael Davies is building for long-run. You may not like 42-inch industry grade plasmas... but so far as cost vs. upkeep... they're the way to go.
Gordon: They are. Finally, what we won't know if the show even makes it on the air. Keep in mind that this is only a pilot. CBS may - OR MAY NOT - pick it up. However, based on the good buzz it is generating, I think things look good - but it is far from guaranteed.
Chico: It's really up to CBS daytime suits. The three options available...1) Pyramid. 2) Something else. 3) Give the hour back to affiliates for news or other local programming.
Gordon: 4) Informercial. Chico and Gordon presents ShamWhew!
Chico: Ha.
Gordon: One thing it won't be - Million Dollar Password.
Chico: No. Regrettably, Million Dollar Password is going away. Although why? No idea. It got the numbers, but they were, and I mean this with all due respect... the Dentu-Creme crowd.
Gordon: I really think people give too much faith in the 18-49 demographic.
Chico: They really do. I personally don't get it, but then again, that's just me. Your money is as green as anyone else's, you know?
Gordon: I would think so.
Chico: But let's talk about the episode. Now we had the winner of AOL's Gold Rush playing... but that was the highlight.
Gordon: Gold Rush? More like Pyrite Rush
Chico: I present... a Big Bored.

Chico: This ones called "Going Out with a Burp"
Gordon: BURP
Chico: Now we had Chelsea Handler and Jeff Garlin playing... Chelsea was smart...
Gordon: Really? Now Chico, I'm not a geography expert, but since when did Tallahassee migrate over to Tennessee?
Chico: I don't know. I mean, with plate tectonics and what not...I... uh... yeah, you know?
Gordon: And that was Chelsea
Chico: We also had a lot of illegal plays.
Gordon: And the most illegal one was letting Jeff Garlin get on stage. Out of a possible 20 points in game #1, Jeff manages...6.
Chico: No less than FIVE instances when two guesses are given.
Gordon: And unfortunately for Jim Lee, he's stuck with Jeff in the bonus round.
Chico: Three guesses as to how that ended.
Gordon: Jim does get to $25,000 - which is $25,000 more than I thought Jim would leave with.
Chico: True. But the gears came off in the $50,000. We had one pass, three wrong, and two right.
Gordon: But we're not done making fun of Jeff yet.
Chico: Not by a longshot.
Gordon: Next up - Michael Kearney, who is a Gold Rush winner and a $25,000 Millionaire winner...and who gets a whopping 2 points with Jeff.
Chico: Needless to say, it's Jeff's fault that we end the game in a tie.
Gordon: Total Carnage for Jeff. Thankfully, Chelsea wins with Amber, but she also doesn't get past $25,000.
Chico: Nope. And thus the way the world ends... not with a bang... but with a burp... *burp*
Gordon: Oooh, stinky. Now lets get back to Jeff Garlin, who ends this in complete and total carnage. Big Bored, please?

Gordon: Subject: The Password is...incompetence.
Chico: Garlin...
Gordon: Let's start with Jeffy's regular round prowess - or lack of. Out of a possible 40 points to be had, Jeff nets a total of...11. That would be 27.5%.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: Bonus Round: He gets 12 right - and 10 wrong.
Gordon: Right. Next one - in the second game, he got so many wrong that rendered the last round moot.
Chico: He only got 2 right with Michael, I believe.
Gordon: Yes, so you can't blame Michael for looking a bit miffed at the end of this one. Finally: Total: 21 right, 29 wrong, for a total of 42%. That goes down as the WORST % of ANY Celebrity Contestant. At least William Shatner was at 50%.
Chico: Damn. Couldn't even beat Shatner... who fell apart playing the Pyramid by HIMSELF!
Gordon: Nope.
Chico: Bottom line... Jeff Garlin's not the best conversationalist to be stuck on a game show with. Okay, moving on. Password isn't the only show that went to the great hereafter. Gordon... it's time for a singalong.
Gordon: Mi mi mi mi miiiiiii
Chico: Don't Forget the Lyrics hopes to end on a high with Deanna Della Cioppa of Boston. She gets as high as the $500,000 song. The category... Steve Miller Band. how's your Steve Miller, sir?
Gordon: Abra, Abra-Cadabra...I wanna reach out and Grab Ya....
Chico: Good. The song is "Fly Like an Eagle", recently remade 10 years ago by Seal. Here you go...

Time keeps on slippin'... into the future...
Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'... into the future...
I wanna fly like an eagle...To the sea.
Fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me...
I wanna fly like an eagle... to the sea,
Fly right into the future...
I wanna feed the babies... who don't have enough to eat...
 
Chico: aaaaand NINE WORDS, GORDON!
Gordon: You want to feed the babies to the eagles? That's a little gross, isn't it?
Chico: BAD! BAD GORDON!
Gordon: If it's feed the eagles to the babies, I think the PETA should protest.
Chico: Can't. Take. You. Anywhere.
Gordon: Anyways, the words are: Shoe The Children, With No Shoes On Their Feet.
Chico: Very good. Deanna decides after coming up with the last six words, she's taking $350,000.
Gordon: She can make an eagle reservations, so the producers won't have to feed the eagles some babies.
Chico: Or feed the people baby eagles. No one's eating any eagles, okay?
Gordon: Good. Some of them are endangered species, you know.
Chico: Are they endangered in Japan?
Gordon: I don't know if they have Eagles in Japan - but they have game shows in Japan.
Chico: Yep. Very outrageous ones... and a few select Americans are going to play a representative of one as we enter a second season of "I Survived a Japanese Gameshow!" Now Tony Sano, who hosted the reality portions of the show last year, is currently filming new eps of Kamen Rider for the CW, so... he's not on the show. Probably just as well, as we have more game than show anyway. An example show of season two will have three challenges instead of two.
Gordon: We have more game show, which is a plus. The minus, which is the same one I had from last time, is that the crew selects the 2 people to compete the elimination game, which means that once again, the women get shelled out first.
Chico: Yep. In fact, the first elimination, if I recall correctly... Two women. Kimberly and Yari for the Red Robots. See, the Red Robots lost the Immunity Challenge. First elimination challenge...BIG SPIDER YANKY DANKY!
Gordon: Your spider isn't going anywhere near my Yanky Danky.
Chico: Heh. Dressed as spiders, they have to burst balloons to reveal parts of butterflies that they have to put together. The comic twist... they're separated by a bungee cord. Winner stays in the game. Loser goes back to America.
Gordon: And we see that here, as Kimberly, the Jr. Olympian, seen as a major threat, goes packing.
Chico: One of the downfalls of the less-reality more-game aspect of season 2, though... It gives the decisions no context.
Gordon: So there's more game, but they haven't solved what I hated about the show. Apparently, the viewers agree, as the debut ratings are 32% lower than last season's debut.
Chico: Of course, it doesn't help matters that it's up against a heavyweight. I can't remember the last time SYTYCD was beaten by... anything, really. Which is why I have cautious hope for the show in the fall. VERY cautious.
Gordon: I think the hope is misplaced. What is SYTYCD going up against in the Summer?
Chico: Wipeout/Japanese Game Show, Top Model/Hitched or Ditched, Criminal Minds, I'm a Celeb/America's Got Talent. We have two hits, two modest hits, and ... whatever's on CW at the time.
Gordon: This is not exactly a powerhouse competitive opposition.
Chico: No. It isn't.
Gordon: Criminal Minds is a repeat.
Chico: Yep. Wipeout is a hit for ABC, but Japanese Game Show is dragging the night down. Were it not for that show.. Wipeout could've whipped out Dance.
Gordon: I agree completely. But you have to keep Game Show in for its run.
Chico: Of course.
Gordon: You cant burn Wipeout with dual episodes because it will end it's run in July.
Chico: So the faith in the shows - yet to be determined. Now... let's get married.
Gordon: Ummmm...I though you mad a man crush on Jason Block.
Chico: Got that mixed up. He had a man crush on ME. But yeah, we're going to the chapel, and we're gonna get married...
Gordon: Ok. Lets get married then. The dress fits your figure better.
Chico: Gordon... No. That bromance has sailed =p
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: But several couples are going to have a nice little beginning to their lives as they get gifts from TPIR, as they celebrate engaged couples day. It wasn't all cakes and sunshine, though. We had Brian & Jade pick up $1600 from the Plinko Board, Matthew & Sara fail to turn $7 into a Mazda 3 in Lucky Seven, but they get a tux and wedding gown modeled by Jack Wagner... boo... and Ashley Jones... giggity.
Gordon: What show is Jack Wagner and Ashley Jones from?
Chico: Bold & the Beautiful
Gordon: Remember that for later. That's important.
Chico: Right. Now round 3 is interesting.. because we have Crystal Llewellyn... and a friend of hers named Stacy. Now... Stacy and Crystal are obviously not getting married to each other. Stacy & Crystal are playing for Crystal's fiancee, who is a Marine stationed in Virginia... and couldn't make it to the show. TPIR didn't want to exclude them, so they're competing as a team rather than as an engaged couple. They didn't win Pushover, though they won luggage. Jeremy & Lisa get netbooks and a shot at home gym and crystal in Switch. Playalong time.

Home gym: $3495. Stemware: $4440. Switch?

Gordon: We are keeping the prices as is.
Chico: Good job!
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Anthony & Chasta get an HDTV AND a kitchen with TV bathtub in Grocery Game. And Billie & Teri win a set of dinnerware & flatware...but no Kia Soul in Gas Money.
Gordon: Aw. Quick bust to that game too.
Chico: Very quick. First pick was the pink slip, $17,090.
Gordon: That would be bad. Also bad: their record on the show, 2-4.
Chico: The record for the week... 10-20. That's just...yeah.
Gordon: Wa waaaaa.
Chico: Now let's play the Showcases...We have.. an Ashley dining room...An Ashley living room group... an Ashley dining room... an Ashley bedroom with sleep set...and a Jeep Compass. Your bid, Gordon?
Gordon: $25,000
Chico: The price.. $33,077. So a difference of $8077. Now...Second Showcase...a trip to St. Thomas with a private yacht and a trip to Tuscany with $1000. Your bid?
Gordon: Yacht is expensive. $32,000
Chico: Yacht is very expensive. The price was $38,074.
Gordon: That's expensive.
Chico: Jeremy & Lisa get the big win with $42,005. And we get this for them...


Jeremy & Lisa

Chico: They win the big Showcase... and they actually win a game.
Gordon: Thats the good news. The bad news is that the show is only 2-4 and the week is a dismal 10-20, complete with another skunk on Monday - the 9th of the season.
Chico: Ew. Stinky. Of course, we had two instances when we could've had ANOTHER skunking. And six shows left. No more skunkings...we want perfection...we want simple games played simply...
Gordon: We want doesn't mean we get.
Chico: No. But we can hope, right?
Gordon: We can. We can also hope for some Ultimate Fighter finale results. Fortunately, we have those.
Chico: Yay!
Gordon: And if what happened in the series is any indication, we'll be seeing more foreign talent on the show. Here's some numbers. Would you like some numbers?
Chico: I'd like to see some numbers.
Gordon: The big number here: the UK went 10-5 against the US, including the finale. And the reasons were also as Chico and I called it. You had the U.S. fighters thinking that it's party time, and the UK wrestlers looking at it like it's business.
Chico: And in the end, it was ALL business.
Gordon: Yes it was. Let's look at the results.
Chico: Okay
Gordon: In the title fights, America's DaMarques Johnson loses to the UK's James Wlkies in the first round via rear naked choke.
Chico: I believe that was a tapout.
Gordon: It was. Wilks wins the Welterweight contract. For the lightweight contract, it's an all-UK fight. Ross Pearson defeats Andre Winner in a unanimous decision. The UK goes 10-5 total, has 3 of it's 4 fighters in the finale matches and takes both contracts. If you're the US, which clearly had the inferior roster this season, are you concerned?
Chico: Yep. If you ask me.... Too easy. Let this be a lesson...If you're in a game... any game...You play to win. You play like you mean it. But you know who the real winner is... Dana White. Two big fighters are now signed with the UFC.
Gordon: Sure are. I would personally love to see the next country that the U.S. faces to be Brazil. Brazil has a ton of experienced fighters. It would be great to see. Or even Brazil Vs. the UK.
Chico: Or perhaps the US versus the world... Call it a redemption tour.
Gordon: I think the US would get trounced. There are 5 weight classes. Brazil currently holds 2 of the titles - Lyoto Machida at Light Heavyweight and Anderson Silva at Middleweight. The other non-American country to hold a title is Canada - Georges St. Pierre's Welterweight crown. So maybe US vs. Brazil or Canada - if the US decides to show up.
Chico: Heh. Think that'll happen?
Gordon: Not next season. They have next season set. It's going to be Heavyweights. The Coaches are going to be Rashad Evans and Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson. They have the 16 selected. One of the 16...Kimbo Slice.
Chico: Nice.
Gordon: A lot of people think that the reason why they did not have a 'Fight Your Way in the House' round this season is to guarantee that Kimbo gets into the house.
Chico: Gee... You think so?
Gordon: Personally? yes I do. I don't see Kimbo lasting too long in the house, but you never know. It all depends on the draw. They could try to set him up with an easy round 1 opponent to get him at least to the second round.
Chico: It's possibly. By the way, TUF: Heavyweights launches September 16.
Gordon: Yep. Should be entertaining.
Chico: By the way, did I tell you that the hams have had their own fighting championship? Only it was a battle royale and J-Fat ended up winning.
Gordon: Very cool - though I'm not sure rolling over on a hamster and sitting on them construes as fighting. More like sumo squatting.
Chico: Whatever works, right? Let's do the news!
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks Doug. First up... I've got a greenlight...

Travel Channel just picked up "The Streets of America", a competition to search for America's worst driver.

Gordon: Ugh.
Chico: It's set to air the first quarter of 2010.
Gordon: Easy enough to fake, to be honest.
Chico: Oh yeah. Just drive like a maniac with ill regard for rules of etiquette and common sense. Now for something a little saner. Gordon's friend Zach Selwyn is back.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: You like Zach Selwyn, right?
Gordon: I do. (hands Chico the Bat)

Well, he's in a new series premiering July 17 called "Catch It Keep It". Three challengers will use scientific means to get their hands on some cool prizes. The premise: a prize will meet certain doom unless a team of challengers create, design, and build a contraption that will save it.

Gordon: I really like the premise of this show.
Chico: Oh yeah. Reminds me of Distraction and Junkyard Wars.
Gordon: Or a reversed Trashed, without the evil side of it.
Chico: This could go over well...
Gordon: It could. Now how would you like something that doesn't have much common sense attached to it?
Chico: Oh no.
Gordon: Oh yes.
Chico: Oh NOOO....

Are YOU Smarter than...Head Chef Wylie Dufresne, who serves a chicken dish - with the chicken missing.

Chico: ... You forgot to put chicken in this.
Gordon: He never plated the chicken on one dish. Meanwhile, he serves 2 chickens to another judge. Being that there are only 4 plates, you would think that it would be easy to maintain a chicken count here.
Chico: Three judges + 1 Host = four chickens. Cake.
Gordon: And no, he doesn't win the episode of Top Chef: Masters. And speaking of Top Chef, let's bring back someone that we haven't seen in a while.



Chico: Ah, I know where this is going.

Top Chef Season 1 host Kathie Lee Joel and Hubby Billy Joel have called it quits. Katie, 27, is only 33 years younger than her hubby, so there could have been a failure of seeing eye to eye on a few things. But hey Billy, Christie Brinkley is available.

Chico: Well... How can I put this... she's 27. Doesn't take a genius to figure this out. She's a party girl.
Gordon: An Uptown Girl?
Chico: More like a downtown girl.
Gordon: I guess Joel lost that Matter of Trust.
Chico: It's All About Soul, after all.
Gordon: So Katie's Moving Out.
Chico: No more Piano Man for her. It's gonna be her and a bottle of Captain Jack. I can do this all day.
Gordon: We could. And then our email box would be full with people who didn't start the fire.
Chico: True.
Gordon: So Billy is going to go to Allentown to get Fully Loaded.
Chico: Hic.

20Q is on Facebook. You can download the app at GSN.com. Unfortunately we can't guarantee that the computer is going to be as caustic as Mr. Q... or Gordon.

Gordon: Caustic? Moi?
Chico: Of course not. What am I thinking. You're just a run of the mill bastard. Or maybe just jaded. I'm going to go with jaded on this.
Gordon: Does Mr. Q know about Media Hoes?
Chico: A lot, actually...He also knows a lot about couches.
Gordon: Ooh. do tell.

For the first time in 38 years, TPIR is going outside the Barker Promenade to look for contestants. Contestant searches will be conducted in Philadelphia, Minneapolis, Sacramento, Chicago, and Denver. Those chosen will be flown to LA to sit in the audience.

Chico: Now I see where traditionalists will have a problem with this... but think about this... if you don't live in LA and can't afford the airfare there... I can see how this could be a lucrative move.
Gordon: I have a major problem with this.
Chico: Tell me your problem.
Gordon: What it does, in essence, is tell the LA contestants that there's no reason to show up, because you're not going to bring people from across the US to show up, sit in contestants row, and not get called. Lets talk mathematics here. American Idol - they bring how many people in from National Auditions?
Chico: 150. And that's on the best of occasions.
Gordon: 150 times around $500 a person (between flight and hotel) = $75,000. American Idol has a budget of $75,000 to bring in people. Easily. Do you really think TPIR has that sort of budget?
Chico: Umm... no.
Gordon: In this era of recession, you aren't going to spend $75,000 on people who are going to do nothing. So you'll have around 150 people (or 1 person a show) in Contestants Row thanks to a contestants search. So now that leaves 325 people competing for 8 spots. Does that seem fair to you?
Chico: It lessens the chances of someone waiting in line to get on the show. But on the other hand, we don't really know how this is going to work. And again, if you can't make the trip to 33, this works for you.
Gordon: Sure we do. It strengthens the chances of a polished veteran contestant to get on and less of a chance for Joe Q. Fan. So I hate the idea.
Chico: I see both sides of this, but the side of me that has been in line TWICE only to have two others in my group go ahead of me says... it's not a good idea. But let's wait to see how this pans out or what it entails.
Gordon: I don't like the idea.
Chico: Neither do I. I think it's bad for the game.
Gordon: I do as well.
Chico: But what's good for us now... Hoes. *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*

In this week's Media Ho Report, Hardy Hill stars in Miami Social, Howie Mandel joins the Canadian Walk of Fame, Carnie WIlson has a baby media ho...

Chico: *baby crying*

Bob Eubanks helms the finale of the $250 K Game Show Spectacular, Graham= Norton goes 'Against The Odds', and David Archuleta's dad pleads no contest in patronizing a prostitute.

Chico: All he wanted was his back cracked...YEAH. We buy that. Sure.

Susan Boyle signs a deal, the Hoff has his own reality series, and Carly Smithson is now part of Evanescence, which has been renamed The Fallen.

Gordon: But none of them are the hoes of the week. We have 2 sets of Hoes.
Chico: Two?
Gordon: First set - Drew Carey, Alley Mills and Jennifer Gareis, as 2 characters from Bold and The Beautiful get to play The Price is Right.
Chico: Nice.
Gordon: Gareis's character of Donna Forester gets called on down, wins cooking equipment and a car, and eventually wins her Showcase.
Chico: Still couldn't beat Barney Stinson.
Gordon: Nope. Now did you eat lunch recently, Chico?
Chico: No, not yet.
Gordon: Good, cause after I show you this, you may save your appetite for dinner.

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Media/Pix/pictures/2009/6/12/1244826718870/Piers-Morgan-Burger-King--006.jpg

Chico: Umm... yeah. I'll pass on Burger King, probably for the rest of my life. Now the ad campaign is for Burger King's new fragrance, "Flame", which captures "seduction with the essence of flame broiled meat". It was a clue on Jeopardy! this week. What WASN'T a clue was Piers Morgan ... doing that.
Gordon: Those are 2 all-beef patties with special sauce and sesame seed buns that I do not wish to sample.
Chico: So... Wendy's, then?
Gordon: KFC.
Chico: Grilled.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okay, we go global with some sad news out of the Netherlands...

Frank de Jonge, CEO of IDtv, which helped produced Lingo before they were bought out by ALL3MEDIA, lost his battle with cancer June 12 at the age of 58. He also wanted to globalize "The Mole".

Chico: So Mr. de Jonge... here's to you.

(silence)

Chico: Thank you. Next... hey, what's in the datebook?
Gordon: Datebook. Check.

June 23rd features The Superstars, which would be great...if it wasn't going directly against the season premiere of America's Got Talent.

Gordon: I sense bad things for The Superstars, which is a shame, because I like the premise.
Chico: This could be bad. Really... really... bad. Especially if it's going up against America's Got Talent.
Gordon: Again, ABC doesn't have to put the show here in this spot. So the fact that they do is not a good sign.
Chico: They put it there, because they don't have anywhere else to put it.
Gordon: I'd put it on Thursdays - The 8pm hour.
Chico: Move Ugly Betty over to Fridays to give it a headstart on the fall season. But then again, I don't get paid to think up these things.
Gordon: Ugly Betty may be moved there. plus Ugly Betty is a repeat. The Superstars would go up against either other repeats or I'm a Celebrity, which is anemic at best.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: So I have no clue why you are burning a show against AGT. I really don't.
Chico: Nope. Okay, that'll do it for Brainvision. Clear it down.
Gordon: (shutting down) Later on in the show, we deliver grades. But first, we flip coins.
Chico: This is WLTI, give us 22 minutes, we'll give you the Pyramid.
Gordon: And a nice fancy one it is. Along with a rhombus, 6 trapezoids, and a winner's Circle.

(Brainvision is brought to you by Brainswirl... Cabs... easy. Rollercoasters... child's play... Now how about the Kaleidoscope. Now THAT's a challenge.)

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