Episode 21.11
August 17

Chico: This is Chico Alexander... and today... history is made.
Gordon: (walks in with Powdered Wig)
Jason: History?
Gordon: 4 Score and 7 years ago...
Joe: it was 1922 ...I think
Chico: Wrong wig, dude.
Gordon: I know, but the Abe Lincoln wig was in the shop
Jason: What about the Albert Einstein Wig
Chico: It was either that or Beethoven. Oh well.
Gordon: I don't have either. So let's make some history.
Jason: Let's do it.
Chico: History... Prepare to be made... From somewhere in America... the History Abuse edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Yay!
Jason: WOOT
Gordon: Gordon Pepper and Chico here, with guests. 1st one, who had a really nice cameo on Millionaire this week, Mr. Jaon Block.
Jason: Thank you. It was a lot of fun to do.
Joe: Was it more exciting than Catch-21?
Chico: I'm guessing so.
Jason: Yes. This is the place that changed my life.
Chico: And also, someone who hopes to have a starring role in... well, anything... Joe Mello's in the building..
Joe: I am so very very glad not to be in Philadelphia right now.
Jason: Who let the dogs out?
Joe: Eagles fans are going through the 5 stages of grief right now.
Chico: Yeah, I heard about that.
Joe: They're on bargaining.
Gordon: In the long run, it's going to be a great move for Eagles fans.
Chico: Well, we have no dogs, but... actually, we might have a dog. Depends on your point of view, but first up... the show that changed everything.
Jason: But yeah, Millionaire is back!
Gordon: We have a bit of the old and a bit of the new. The old, being long time veteran host Regis Philbin. The new, being the clock timer and some Lifelines, including Ask The Expert (which was never on the PrimeTime Version)
Jason: And the fastest finger. Which is the old.
Chico: But the game itself remains the same... answer 15 questions, you're a millionaire. Although some people had a tough go at it.
Jason: But...overall...this was a big miss for me.
Chico: I wanted to feel the same old spark. I REALLY did. I compare this to running into an old lover in the street. You want to feel it all over again... but you can't.
Jason: Can I explain why this didn't work? I usually don't ask this... But can I have a BIG BOARD?
Chico: Hmm... Gordon? What do you think?
Gordon: I think we should give the person who won $125,000 on Millionaire a Big Board.
Jason: Thank you.
Chico: Works for me!
 

Jason: I call this one...Why Lightning didn't Strike Twice. I have 5 reasons why this wasn't as successful as it could have been. You can comment on each one and add if you wish. 1. THE CLOCK: The clock has been the most controversial addition to the Millionaire lineup and it has put Regis in a chokehold. It has neutered Regis's ability as a host and made him have less of an emotional impact. He almost cost a few contestants money as he nearly let the clock run out. This was a major mistake.
Gordon: I blame America for #1 and the screw up.
Chico: Not just him, but the audience as well. I still remember.. one second, $100 question.
Jason: 2. THE CELEBRITIES: Another reason why the show left primetime was seeing celebs compete instead of real people. We didn't want to see it then, and we don't want to see them now. Don't use Millionaire to promote other shows.
Joe: Or if you're going to promote, you now have a lifeline for that.
Chico: Ba DUM bum.
Gordon: You can use Millionaire to promote other shows. The problem is that it undermines what we liked about the show to begin with, which is average people winning money. Throwing in a de facto celebrity for a shot at 50 g's does nothing for the show.
Jason: 3. LACK OF PROMOTION: There have been many people who even to this day don't know Millionaire is back on primetime. I know Regis did SOME press to promote the show but ABC didn't do enough to let people know the show was on the air. There weren't street teams, an online blitz, or using past contestants to get the word out.
Gordon: This should have been promoted a lot heavier. This could have been used to really set up some of their shows, and vice versa.
Jason: 4. THE SHOW WAS PRE-TAPED. When Millionaire was on the air at its peak, you had a 24-48 hour turnaround from phone game playoff win to contestant. This time around, there was no feel that ANYONE could win the show at any time. The phone game, auditions and video submissions were all completed before the show even aired. Anyone watching now had NO SHOT to even get on the show, and that was a major element of the show's success 10 years ago.
Chico: That ANYONE could get on the show. ANYONE can play, anyone can win. Hence the title... Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. It wasn't just a name, it was a mood, a feeling... a challenge, almost. You know what I mean?
Joe: I'm saving my thoughts for the end.
Jason: Yeah, this felt special...but NOT SPECIAL.
Gordon: Not only that, but this was a PERFECT opportunity to use those text contests (a la Deal or No Deal and 1 Vs. 100) to spike up the show.
Joe: Oh man, could you imagine?
Jason: Oh yeah.
Joe: Play along at home, win $10,000.
Gordon: Free texting contest, answer the question and someone gets a free shot into the Ring of Fire.
Chico: Just seemed to me like ABC was just doing something to say that they were going something.
Joe: Oh I have a comment about that.
Jason: Bring it Joe.
Gordon: I agree whole-heartedly. They really didn't do nearly as much with this as they could or should have.
Joe: One thing that's I've heard is that what we're watching is essentially a night time version of the daytime show. Normally, this would be perfectly fine if were, say airing Wednesday nights to complement Wipeout or something.
Chico: I'm glad I wasn't the only one getting that feeling.
Joe: But this is the 10th Anniversary series! There should be something big! Instead, it falls flat and feels more like Who Wants to Film a Cash-In.
Chico: And for the most part, the viewers called them on it. Ratings were good at best but crappy at worst.
Joe: So maybe we're partially to blame for raised expectations, but still...
Chico: When I say good, I mean "summer good", not 10-years-ago-good.
Jason: But we had almost 9M on Thursday...we will see if it's holds on Sunday.
Chico: Unless there's a carry-over, I doubt it.
Jason: There is actually. We have Eddie Lawhorn going for $100,000.
Chico: Alrighty then.
Gordon: This is all about tradition. We expect tradition, not a watered down version of what used to be great.
Jason: I have one more reason for you. 5. THE EXPERTS STINK. Instead of using the returning Ed Toutant, Kevin Olmstead or others as experts, they were used as 1 minute show pieces. We got Cokie Roberts and Candy Crowley who didn't know what they were doing. That was another bad choice.
Gordon: I liked Cokie asking if this is the part that she doesn't give away the answers. This is NOT The Mole, Cokie.
Chico: Dear oh dear. If I may, though.. Sam Donaldson was pretty clever.
Jason: He was OK.
Chico: He didn't do anything, but he was clever. But yeah, overall, the package just seemed... lacking. It's like they were celebrating the game, but not what made the game special. It's like "Hey, we survived 10 years! Great!"

	WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? 10TH ANNIVERSARY - ABC
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	JOE	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C	C	C	B-	C

Gordon: It was around a C level. It's like a celebration, but it really should have been a retooling for another prime time run.
Jason: Agreed.
Chico: That sounds about right. C.
Jason: This is the hardest thing for me to stay.
Chico: It was good.. but I was let down. A LOT.
Joe: Am I going to be the one bright light of hope for this grading?
Gordon: We wanted better. I mean we are spoiled in that aspect. Was it fun? Yes. But it should have been more than, "oh that's nice". It should have been set to relaunch the show.
Jason: Exactly.
Joe: I'm giving it a B-. This was a missed opportunity, no doubt, but you know what they say about bad Millionaire.
Chico: Bad Millionaire is better than none.
Joe: Yup. And basically how low you mark it is how disappointed you are that this wasn't something more.
Chico: ... Joe's right.
Jason: Bingo. I wanted SO much more.
Chico: Joe's absolutely right.
Joe: It definitely fails to meet expectations, and if I had to give a number grade, it'd be 80 (hence B- ), but it's the same show that's been on five days a week for who knows how long.
Chico: But at the same time... It's Millionaire. By the book. Nothing more. There was a way to go about this so that it was something special, but it seems like ABC was just mailing in the kudos. So when you consider all that... I stand by my grade.
Gordon: But that's the problem. Us game show people aren't satisfied with just 'it's good'. We want the show to be another cultural phenomenon. Is it unfair, probably so, but we know what the show could do if executed properly.
Joe: If they really wanted an A+, the Japanese Super Millionaire format would've done it, but I digress.
Chico: Yeah, we got that. The show continues next week for another six. And I'm guessing it'll come back next summer... MAYBE.
Joe: I wouldn't bet that at all.
Chico: They say if ratings warrant.
Gordon: I think it's good enough to see this come back in the Summer. Not so much in the Fall or Winter.
Joe: If this feels like ABC doing it because they're obligated to (because it's Year 10), what happens when the obligation goes away?
Chico: Then... it's anyone's guess.
Joe: I'm thinking ABC's found it's new cultural phenomenon and is happy with that.
Gordon: Maybe. Still, it's sad that they treated their old cultural phenomenon that shoddily.
Chico: Like nothing...
Gordon: but is Shark Tank going to be one of ABC's new phenomena?
Chico: I... doubt it. But not for lack of trying. The object is simple, if you've seen the British version before.
Jason: You have an idea.
Chico: Business owners come in and ask the Sharks for money. If they like the idea, they'll fight for a piece of it. Usually against each other.
Jason: How many people were scared out of their gourd with the Bluetooth implant guy
Chico: Right here.
Jason: That was just...creepy.
Chico: To say the least. Even scarier... the two deucebags who decided to counter the offer given by the Sharks, then pull out. What the hell, man?
Jason: Young and stupid. You don't say NO to money.
Joe: Unless you're really in love with your idea (or yourself).
Gordon: So let's go with the Good: It's compelling.
Chico: Very.
Jason: Very.
Chico: And the Sharks are there with no pretense.
Jason: I loved the format and the presentation.
Chico: It's like "the Apprentice" before it caught fire, so to speak.
Gordon: This is a very fun show to watch. You really like the back and forth play between the sharks and the people pitching for money.
Jason: And for me, the diversity of the sharks was helpful, not hurtful. I liked seeing the head of FUBU and Barbara Corcoran. I usually rail against that sort of thing, but seeing these heads of business make people say...I can do that.
Chico: All you need is a good idea. And that's really the premise behind this Japanese import... you have the idea... we have the money.
Gordon: Another thing I like about this - the Sharks are personified. You can relate to them.
Chico: So the good.. the Sharks, the idea... and the Sharks.... What, the sharks are good. They're good personifications of the business world and they play the game same as anyone else.
Gordon: The editing is also good. It's fast paced and it doesn't feel like the premiere of a show.
Joe: Always good to have someone behind the scenes who knows what their doing (or at least can fake it well enough)
Jason: That's Mark Burnett. He knows. You jumped right into it.
Gordon: He's a veteran at this mark. Now, for The Bad.
Chico: It's.. it's rather cold, isn't it?
Joe: I thought that was half the point
Chico: No pretense, no emotion... just money. I sound like a Shark.
Joe: This isn't Cuddly Dolphin Plush Toy Tank. It's Shark Tank.
Chico: it also seems like you have five Gordon Gekko types. And if this doesn't diversify, then I can see it getting old quickly.
Jason: The one thing I didn't like was that part of it was like The American Idol audition round.
Gordon: It was a replica of the other versions, which I liked. I thought some of the background was excessive. You do want to know about the background, but it should be the product speaking, not the contestant's background.
Jason: That's it. (snaps finger). I HATED those packages, it was like a poker tell.
Chico: Almost an attempt to turn the show into something it isn't.
Gordon: I actually thought adding a human side of it was a distraction. I understood what Burnett was doing, but it had to be done seamlessly instead of heartstring tugging.
Chico: Bingo. Called it right there.
Jason: Can I give my grade??
Gordon: Any other comments before grades?
Joe: I have one, and it may be why people aren't watching.
Jason: Ok
Joe: Strip out the business and invention aspects and what you have is a show about people begging for money.....in a recession.....when basically everyone is begging for money.
Chico: Interesting take.
Jason: I don't buy that.
Chico: But these guys, they know what they're getting into. It isn't like they don't.
Jason: This isn't Queen For A Day
Chico: It's nothing personal... it's just business... and I just quoted the wrong show now.
Joe: True, but, to the average viewer, it very well could just look like someone saying "Hey, can I have $100,000? I got an idea".
Gordon: I actually do buy it. We have our own issues. We like realistic TV. I mean look at what we have here. We have people who in the most cases are successful - and they want more money.
Chico: They basically want the money to take it to the next level. Makes sense on all fronts. So what do we have, gents?
Gordon: To us, its business and compelling. To the average Joe, it's cloying and greedy.
Joe: And I'm far from average :P
Chico: Welcome to the club.
Joe: To paraphrase Futurama, "I'm better that normal; I'm abnormal"

	SHARK TANK - ABC
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	JOE	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B+	B+	B+	B+	B+

Gordon: Despite why people aren't watching it, it doesn't take away from the fact that it's a good show. I like it, and if it wasn't for the recession, this could be a hit. B+.
Chico: Agreed. And this is from someone who lives off of Dragon's Den... you know, if it weren't for the other show on the other channel (which we WILL get to in a few moments). B+
Jason: This is a very compelling show. I really like it. B+.
Joe: I guess I'll make it unanimous
Chico: Well.. if you have to. =p The question now... will you feel the same way about... There Goes the Neighborhood?
Joe: It's going....going....gone
Jason: This I didn't see.
Chico: Now I was up in North Jersey when this aired. I saw it with Gordon and Travis Schario... And we basically came to the same conclusion. We have eight families walled off in an Atlanta suburb. They compete in challenges, and in the end, they vote someone out of the neighborhood. Last family standing wins $250,000, right? And Gordon, Travis and I... they came to the same conclusion... It's basically a stationary version of the Great American Road Trip! With Matt Rogers hosting! He's TALL...
Gordon: It's not There Goes the Neighborhood. It's There Goes the Originality. Big Bored please?

Gordon: Subject: There goes the Neighborhood. Here comes the Copycats. Let's see what show the following reminds you of. 8 famililes, trapped from electricity and civilization.
Chico: Under One Roof.
Gordon: We have a game to determine who's King of the Dwellings.
Chico: Great American Road Trip
Joe: I think he's going for Big Brother
Gordon: (DING) The King determines which 2 families are up for eviction.
Chico: Big Brother!
Gordon: (DING) The other families vote out one of the 2 nominated.
Chico: Survivor!
Joe: Basically any reality competition not named Amazing Race
Gordon: DING
Chico: Or... every other voting show EVER!
Gordon: And finally, where have we seen Matt Rogers before?
Chico: Really Big Things! Uh... Family Feud? Umm.. that show with Seacrest on it?
Joe: The Detroit Lions?
Chico: American Idol!
Gordon: Yes, that would be Idol, the show with Seacrest on it (DING)
Chico: But seriously, he also hosts Really Big Things on Science Channel.

	THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD - CBS
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	JOE	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D	D-	NO GRADE	NO GRADE	D-

Gordon: Let's add that in, too. So there's nothing original in it. The only thing they bring new to the table is families, which give kids the early lessons of learning how to backstab. Anytime you bring kids into it, you get a dirty feeling, and there's too much drama and not enough fun. D-.
Chico: D.
Joe: NG
Jason: NG
Chico: I'm being very generous here due to the fact that kids are involved. But yeah.. The show actually lost viewers over the half-hour. So another thing that Gordon and I said... There goes the neighborhood... and THERE GOES THE AUDIENCE!
Joe: If we didn't have bad jokes, there'd be no jokes at all. :P
Jason: Yup.
Chico: Yup. Speaking of bad jokes... here's this week's Talent Scouting... Last week, we had just the most phenomenal of phenomenal episodes of America's Got Talent... A show that literally ANYONE could win. It was that close. It was that awesome. It was... it was all of that.
Jason: You are kidding, right?
Chico: This week on the other hand... We basically got one giant turdball.
Gordon: It's this part of the show that I wonder if Chico was watching the same shoe that we were. It was 2 hours of the finest in dreck.
Chico: Not only were a great majority of the acts fair to middling at best... We get the results, and here are the acts that you put in the semis... Again.... YOU put them there.

The Fab Five... The Voices of Glory... The Texas Tenors... Paradizo Dance and the judges' pick.. Tony Hoard and Rockin' Rory.

Chico: Dancers, singers, singers, dancers... dog.
Jason: Has Kelli Glover come back yet?
Chico: Nope. She ain't coming back.
Jason: Are you serious?
Chico: I'm serious. Barring a Supreme Ultimate Wild Card.
Jason: They announced the next 24?
Chico: They announced the eight Wild Cowells.  Kelli Glover was not amongst them.
Jason: Then you know what. I do not watch. This show is a minor league American Idol.
Chico: yep.
Gordon: There was ONE act that didn't have any sort of fundamental flaw. That would be the Fab 5, which deserved their way in. Everyone else had a significant problem in their act, from lack of challenging material to being off-pitch to fouling up their act. To make matters worse, the judges did not put through Charles DeWayne (who was very good, but didn't pick compelling material) and instead put through a dog act who's owners...ahem...screwed the pooch.
Chico: With dogs, apparently. Actually, there was ONE flaw with the Fab Five. And it goes back to song choice. If you have to slow down the song... then there's a problem.
Gordon: I don't think slowing down the song was an issue to me.
Chico: Well, maybe not to you, but I thought it was hard to get into. You have a song like "Fire Burning", and I'm thinking.. Okay, this is gonna be a challenge.. but no, they make it easy.
Joe: I think it's knowing your limitations. If you try at full speed and fail, you gone.
Gordon: You want to make it look easy, yet have it be challenging.
Chico: Then you pick a song that fits your limitations if that's the case.
Gordon: Joe's right. better to go easier and make it flawless.
Chico: You don't aspire to full speed, then give me a 70% reduction.
Gordon: Fire was the perfect song for them. They had the whole Fire Motif going on.
Joe: Safe and polished is always better than bad
Gordon: Right.
Chico: If that's true, then why did Rockin' Rory go through when Charles DeWayne didn't? That just... doesn't make any sense.
Jason: This whole season doesn't make sense. Just put Grandma Lee against Kevin Skinner and be done with it.
Chico: Not yet, kid. We have two more weeks to go! So what about these other acts...  We have Paradizo Dance... they were obvious favorites... The Texas Tenors... they just went straight for the vote, harmony be damned. And the Voices of Glory... I blame the judges again. I mean, they were good, but Piers already anointed one of them a star. Not to take anything away from Nadia there, but... WHAT?!
Jason: Voices of Glory are only there because their mother is in a wheelchair.
Gordon: Quite honestly, none of these people should be in the Top 5.
Chico: My guess is that they have two groups of good quarterfinalists and two groups of bad ones. You know, to even the field and give people like us something to talk about.
Jason: Maybe.
Gordon: That doesn't make sense. You want to space your good people so they all show up in the finals, instead of making the Quarterfinals akin to the finale.
Chico: you know?
Joe: Question since I haven't been following: Are most of the "good people" singing acts?
Jason: Unfortunately.
Joe: And most of the "bad people" are non-singing acts?
Chico: well, we had a couple non-singing good acts. Drew Thomas Magic for one.
Joe: What about the bad ones?
Chico: The bad ones are just... bad. Never mind what they do. They're just... bad at it.
Gordon: I think you have 5-7 people who can win.
Joe: Well, if the bad ones are non-singing, then Chico may just be spot on.
Chico: And thanks to the vote and the grouping, only four of them will make the finals. Mark it.
Joe: It's a home run of a loony theory, but the goal may be to get a variety of acts into the finals to make up for the fact that this is farm league Idol
Chico: Or primetime Gong Show.
Joe: It was always Primetime Gong Show
Gordon: It was. So far, we've been underwhelmed by the first half of the quarterfinalists while good singers such as Kelli Glover have been left out of the mix.
Jason: Yup.
Gordon: Let's see what the second half of the quarterfinalists bring us. Speaking of second half, this week marks the second half of Big Brother.



Chico: This week we see the Coup d'Etat get played, as Jeff overrules Chima and puts Natalie and Jessie on the block. All this is done pretaped to avoid the threat of a Chima meltdown.
Gordon: Which we get anyways. What's not going to help her is that Michele is the new HOH, and Chima and Nat are the new nominees to be booted.
Jason: What did Chima say?
Gordon: She didn't say as much as she screamed. We'll get more on that later on.
Jason: ok
Chico: I think the more appropriate question is... is it fit to broadcast on the net? =p
Gordon: Um...no.
Chico: Didn't think so. So this week's moron... despite Jessie being voted out... is Chima... for giving the houseguests a reason to send HER to the Jury House.
Chico: Good job, kid. Veto claimed yet, Mr. Livefeed Monitor?
Gordon: NO...but BREAKING NEWS
Chico: *window crashing*



Gordon: Chima has WALKED OUT of the Big Brother house.
Chico: WHOA. I believe that's a first.
Jason: That is.
Chico: So we have Chima as this week's moron for TWO reasons! Wonderful!
Gordon: By quitting, Chima does NOT join the jury.
Chico: So someone else does. I want to say Ronnie.
Jason: Do you think we might have someone come back...?
Chico: Please let me say Ronnie. I want desperately to say Ronnie! =p
Gordon: I don't think so to someone coming back. This was supposed to be a double elimination week, so now it will only be a single elimination week.
Joe: But there's still an empty jury spot, yes?
Chico: So Chima is in all form and facet persona non grata in the game. And yes there is an empty jury spot.
Joe: That needs to be filled by someone, hence the possibility of someone coming back, if only for the final
Chico: I want to say Ronnie.
Jason: Do you want to see the timeline? Or at least the alleged one?
Gordon: Sure
Chico: I want to see the timeline
Joe: Big Board?
Chico: ... I'll allow it.

Jason: 9:50 PM - The PoV competition is set up for practice. Kevin goes to wake Chima to come out and give it a try since she’s nominated. Chima gets up without her microphone and goes out. # 9:55 PM - Big Brother tells Chima to put on her mic. She refuses. 10:00 PM - Kevin kindly goes and gets Chima’s mic for her. Natalie runs it to Chima who immediately throws it in the hot tub. Natalie goes to fish it out of the hot tub and tells Chima that maybe she won’t have to practice afterall (hah!). 11:00 PM - Big Brother tells Chima to replace her mic. She refuses so Kevin gets it for her, again. Chima tells production to, um, put something in their mouths and create a vaccum… # 11:15 PM - Big Brother has to ask Chima again to put back on her mic. # 2:45 AM - Live Feeds are back and Chima is missing. Jeff says, “and then there were seven.” That's it. That was from bigbrothernetwork.com.
Chico: They cut off the live feed?! I think you have to have someone offed for that. Like... what?!
Joe: I guess even in Big Brother, there are stop-downs.
Chico: So at 11:15, live feeds go down.
Joe: and by 2:45, the producers and/or Chima have decided that it's Game Over
Jason: Pretty much. I bet she was an absolute nut by that point. She snapped.
Joe: 1) I do not blame the producers for shutting things down.
Jason: Not at all.
Joe: 2) I do not know if it was the producers or Chima that gave the final heave-ho, but I would not be surprised with either.
Chico: True and true. Hell hath no fury and all that.
Joe: You are there to play the game, and that means doing what CBS tells you to. Insubordination should not be tolerated.
Chico: That and you don't want to create a hostile environment. Or be part of one. If only to further yourself in the game.
Gordon: I'm also guessing that no Chima in the jury means no more weekly stipend for Chima.
Chico: She'll be lucky if she gets what she won before.
Joe: It'll be interesting to see how much of this makes it to air.
Chico: I'm guessing only enough to explain and Julie's going to be called in for it.
Jason: Yup.
Joe: I'm thinking that there's enough on- and off-air events that you could make a neutered segment showing the final straw
Chico: oh yeah. One thing's certain.. Big Brother will be interesting watching on Tuesday.
Joe: And Chima will absolutely be portrayed as the bad guy
Chico: NOooooo. Really?
Joe: lol
Chico: She only quit the game. What use is she to the story editors?
Jason: Big Brother is such a happy house don't you know.
Joe: The question is: sour grapes or dishonorable discharge.
Chico: I'm guessing we'll get the answer to that as events unfold.
Gordon: I think it's sour grapes. And the one thing about Big Brother is that you never know what you can do to change your game around. Ask Dan, who got put up on the block early and who wound up winning the whole thing. Hey ask Jeff and Jordan, who were both vilified to start the game but who now are in the majority alliance. Until you get booted from the house, you always have a chance in the game.
Chico: Not to mention all happy happy with the rest of the house, but Chima... yeah, she really screwed herself out of half a mill, didn't she?
Jason: Pretty much
Gordon: Pretty much. Now let's go to a show that didn't suck America's Best Dance Crew, Season 4.
Chico: Finally watched it Thursday. Good stuff.
Gordon: This may be the best group that we've seen. It's time to rate the teams. Big Board, please?

Gordon: Subject: Rate the Dance crews. We have 8 left. I'll give you the groups. You tell me how they fare.
Chico: Bottom, Middle, Top?
Gordon: Starting with... Afroborike
Chico: Middle. Toward the top, though. They were best of their heat.
Jason: Yup Mid Pack
Gordon: They were. They have a nice infusion of styles. Mid-Pack. Artistry in Motion
Chico: Top. Good moves, great unity.
Gordon: I'd put them in the Top 3. Very very strong.
Jason: And an all female group to boot. Top
Gordon: Beat Ya Feet Kings
Chico: Middle. They have to be on it 100%. These guys... more like 90%?
Gordon: Bottom. They were very sloppy during week #1. They keep that up, and they won't be around for much longer.
Jason: Yeah Bottom. They seemed out of motion
Gordon: Massive Monkees (B-Boy)
Chico: Big time top of the pack.
Gordon: Top. Favorites right now. they've already won international competitions.
Chico: So victory is the only option.
Jason: I like the Monkees a lot.
Gordon: Rhythm City
Chico: Rhythm City will round out my top 3
Jason: I am with you on Rhythm City
Gordon: They won't round out mine. Too much like the Monkees. 4th place. Southern Movement
Chico: *raspberries* WAY bottom
Jason: Bottom. It's like Chocolate and Fish. Doesnt mix
Chico: Ew.
Gordon: I think the Southern Movement may have some life in them. I liked them better than you guys. Mid Pack. We Are Heroes
Jason: Fanny Pack with Females...Mid Pack
Chico: Bottom toward the middle. Only because someone has to go there. If they clean it up a bit, they could really go crazy here.
Gordon: Also way too sloppy for my tastes. Fanny Pack was much better. There's usually a new style of dance, and they are not it. Bottom. Vogue Evolution.
Chico: Middle. Different. New... Springing with newness. I just wonder what's going to happen when they have to incorporate.
Gordon: There's always a new style that makes it to the Top 3. V.E. will be that group. Top.
Jason: Middle to the top...very Broadway and theater
Gordon: And I think this crowd will vote for that. Who wins it?
Chico: It's gonna be fun to watch.
Jason: Rhythm city
Chico: I think right now... the favorites are ... the Monkees.
Gordon: The B-Boys usually take the title. I'm going with the Monkees also. Meanwhile the Hamsters want to make their own dance group
Chico: Ch33s3 & Macaronis. You ever see these rodents bend? It's crazy.
Jason: Watch this leap by Eve!
Gordon: And you have Drew doing 'The Worm'. Of course being that he's a real bookworm, that does help.
Chico: Again.. if it weren't for bad jokes... Okay, roll it!
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up... let's get greenlit.

Good news for fans of Silent Library, as the show is picked up for a second season of 20 episodes.

Jason: You were a fan weren't you?
Chico: I was a big fan. I liked it. I liked it a lot. You were a big fan, right Gordon?
Gordon: I am indeed. it's a fun show and I'm glad it got renewed.
Chico: It's good television.
Gordon: It is. Now what about the business deal?
Chico: Business Deal, I got a business deal for ya.
Jason: Do you need any of the sharks?
Chico: No. I will need this giant fish, though.
Gordon: (Carts in Aquarium)
Chico: In honor of Shark Tank, of course.
Jason: Of course.
Chico: Remember how bad Face the Ace did?
Jason: Yeah, their ratings were putrid.
Gordon: Yes

Well, it turns out that one station in Utah will no longer air the show. But it's not because of the ratings.

Chico: This from GM Greg James of KSL.

"The whole idea of gambling is an issue for us and so we have chosen to pre-empt it. We talked about it and we didn't feel it matched up with community standards."

Chico: It should be noted that KSL is owned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Joe: Aha
Gordon: To each their own.
Jason: I have no problem with them doing that.
Chico: Exactly. They're staying true to themselves and you can't fault them for that.
Joe: Is KSL an indie station?
Chico: NBC station.
Joe: ok. Juuuuuuuuust wondering
Chico: Right
Gordon: If they don't like poker, maybe they could enjoy what's on the Datebook this week.

Thursday, August 20th is the Lifetime Double Feature: Models of the Runway, followed by Project Runway: Season 6.

Chico: Heidi.. I've missed you so.
Jason: So many fashionistas are waiting for this.
Chico: I just finally want to see what all the hubbub is all about. I got Bravo AFTER the move. Go figure.
Jason: Woot.
Chico: So tell me what the hubbub is all about. Heh.
Gordon: It's all about what could happen if a fashion show is done correctly. After watching the hour, Isaac Mizrahi and Kelly Rowland may both want to get Fully Loaded.
Chico: *hic*
Jason: Hic
Chico: This week, it's GSN Radio.

The affiliate count is up to over 70 thanks to its newest station, KBHI-FM in Sikeston, MO.

Jason: And their 1 year Anniversary is this coming Tuesday, the 18th. Congrats to them.
Chico: And they're celebrating both by offering $250,000 starting September 14 in their "Blast of Cash" sweepstakes. Go to gsn.com/radio for more info.
Jason: I want some of that.
Chico: Me too
Gordon: How does that work?
Jason: We don't know yet. They are just promoting it for the 14th.
Chico: We'll find out once it starts. Smart move, if you ask me. Gordon... I doubt you have any more smart moves.
Gordon: Maybe yes or maybe no, but I know someone who's out $250,000.
Jason: Who is that?

Are YOU Smarter than...Chima, who doesn't get her way and then takes her ball and goes home.

Chico: waaa waaaaaaaa.
Jason: Here's your diaper.
Joe: Do I have to dial 9-1-1? (someone ask why)
Everyone: WHY?
Joe: So I can call the WAHHHHHHmbulance
Chico: *slow clapping*
Jason: (claps)
Joe: Try the waitress
Gordon: Here's a list of transgressions. Big bored, please?

Gordon: Subject: Chi-Malware. First of all, she threatens to put a hissy fit on this week's Live Show, so the week's show instead, for the first time in eviction history - is taped. #2. She goes ape-poo on everyone, as Jason has time lined.
Chico: Not the first time, but... yeah
Jason: Wow.
Gordon: #3. She quits and walks out of the Big Brother House. And yes, it's America's fault, as they have hated her and her clique since day #1 (hence then giving the power to Jeff)
Chico: America doesn't like smart people.
Gordon: They like smart people. They don't like whiners.
Jason: Bingo G.
Chico: Heh. So that leaves ONE brain. Michele. Right now... like her or not... she's in the catbird seat.
Gordon: I think Jeff is also playing the game well. I think if Michele gets rid of Natalie, then there goes all of her natural enemies out the door.
Chico: So there you go
Gordon: Chima and Nat were the people who want to get rid of her. If she gets them both out, then she can skate to the Final 3 while Jeff/Jordan/Russell and Lydia/Kevin duke it out.
Chico: That's about right. What about the week in Haterade?
Gordon: But at least Chima didn't cause almost $5,000 worth of damage to gifts.
Chico: I know where this is going.

For the first time in Catch It Keep It History, we had a double disaster, as neither the team nor the in-house designer could save the prize.

Gordon: Said Prize: A Big Green Egg Barbecue Set. Said peril: It being launched over a minefield of artillery and landing on some asphalt, turning it into scrambled eggs.
Jason: Ouch. Humpty Dumpty had multiple injuries
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Our team of Joe Cooksley, Lisa Coto, and Stewart Baxter set their egg catcher too close, which results in the egg hitting the top of the catcher, dropping straight down into the ground and shattering.
Chico: I felt sad watching that. That's a sad thing to do with a Big Green Egg.
Gordon: Then their design team comes and sets their catcher way too far back. As a result, the egg doesn't come close to the catcher and also shatters.
Chico: Somewhere Travis is crying.
Gordon: Travis cried twice. I was there with him. It was very sad.
Jason: ROFL
Gordon: Since the design team's solution didn't work either, the challengers each get a Big Green Egg, and the surviving kin of Humpty Dumpty get a legitimate case to file a lawsuit.
Chico: Ba DUM bum.
Gordon: Te solution, btw, was to catch the egg close to the slingshot, hence not having to worry about the trajectory or the minefield.
Jason: A ha.
Joe: Best solution to a problem is to avoid the problem all together
Gordon: But if the slingshot was stronger, the egg could have gone flying around the world,
Chico: I see an egg going to Britain.

101 Ways to Leave a Game Show almost became 102 Ways as BBC's set for said show collapsed. Thankfully no one was injured.

Jason: Yeah
Chico: The main culprit... a stand-alone swimming pool rupture
Gordon: I guess you could say they didn't do a good job of pooling their resources.
Jason: Or their structural engineering was a bit of a belly flop.
Chico: Again, folks... were it not for bad jokes...
Joe: But no one was hurt, so it was all awash
Chico: And now, we all groan. I think all of your jokes were below C-level.
Gordon: I'm just trying to pool my own weight.
Joe: I don't think any of us are getting the home game this week.
Chico: No, but you're getting a couch. You'll have to make do with that.

This week, if you want to be on the Newlywed Game.. and you're gay.... You're in luck!

Jason: This is a BOLD move by GSN.
Gordon: It isn't the first time they've done this. Don't forget I've Got a Secret with an All Gay Panel.
Chico: Contestants are wanted for season 2, and if you're from a state that legally recognizes same-sex couples, you're eligible. You know, so far as you've been married for less than two years.
Gordon: This isn't even the first time they've done gay couples - they did it with Burt Ludden's Love Cafe.
Chico: Yeah, but I guarantee you it'll be better than that piece of crap.
Joe: LOL. I think this is different than IGAS
Chico: The e-mail address is thenewlywedgame@embassyrow.com
Jason: Much different
Joe: This is a bold and great move here. Chuck Barris-worthy
Chico: I can't wait to see how this works.
Joe: People who do not normally watch WILL watch.
Chico: They'll watch. They'll watch and like it.
Gordon: It could be interesting. Will any of these Media Hoes be watching?
Jason: Yes.
Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*

In this week's Media Ho Report, Ben Stein gets dropped from the New York Times, Simon Cowell gets 3 more years on Idol, Derek Hough and Shannon Elizabeth call it quits...



Jason: He's so dreamy.

Patrick Duffy makes a movie, The Idol tour is just as successful as last year, Bob Barker gets to appear on Dr. Pat... Omarosa finds religion, Paula Abdul finds offers after Idol, and Victoria Beckham is officially the first Idol Guest judge. And Mary J. Blige is officially your second.

Gordon: But none of them are your ho of the week.
Chico: Who's this week's HotW?
Gordon: Your ho of the week is David Daniel Otunga Jr.
Joe: Esquire?
Jason: I know who that is!
Chico: *buzzer* Father of Jennifer Hudson's baby!
Jason: No...the baby itself!
Chico: Ah, right!
Jason: David Otunga is the daddy (and a soon to be WWE Wrestler)
Gordon: That's right, congratulations to the Hudson family!
Chico: Two more, and you have a Feud team!  ... nothing?
Joe: Survey Says! The joke failed
Gordon: (X)
Chico: And the hamsters are just stopping the Choppler and looking at me and shaking their heads... Was it THAT BAD?
Joe: Get us out of this segment.
Gordon: And Those...Are Your Hoes.
Chico: And I'd say to shut it down, but the hamsters already did. Mostly in disgust. This calls for a break.
Jason: I think so.
Chico: When we come back... a WORLD PREMIERE GAME. But first... Gordon plays Geoff Edwards.
Joe: Does this mean we're going to the arcade?
Jason: Oh wow. I love new games.
Chico: Who's actually one of the good ones.
Gordon: You're reading We Love To Interrupt. You give us 22 minutes, we'll give you 22 people who would be nicer in the Big Brother House than Chima.

(Brainvision has been brought to you by Waffle Wagon. Forget about all these sharks. We need people who are indecisive about their money. Hosted by Barack Obama.)

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