Episode 21.5
July 6

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and Chico and we are watching the 2009 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating competition.
Chico: My money's on Joey Chestnut to repeat.
Gordon: If you're a loyal fan of the show, then you know who I'm rooting for (waves Japanese Flag)
Chico: Of course, some unknown could come and blow us both out the water.
Gordon: Highly doubtful.
Chico: Of course, I'm watching in high-definition... because when someone pukes, I want to see the colors :-) And you know it's going to happen.
Gordon: We haughty ettiquietters prefer the term reversal of fortune.
Chico: Ha.
Gordon: Hi. And from somewhere in Coney Island, the 4th of July Edition of We Love To Interrupt...is...on!
Chico: We hope you're enjoying this Fourth of July weekend, I'm Chico Alexander alongside my good buddy GP, we've got a lot to go over, so we'll start with... again, sad news out of the game show world. Just when we were getting over the death Ed McMahon... another game show star is taken from us...
Gordon: A few stars, but let's start with the big one this week - and we're talking Mr. Fred Travalena.
Chico: Yes... master impressionist.. master game player as well. Hosted a couple of shows as well. Let's bring out the board.

Gordon: The Subject: Fred Travalena
Chico: First up... He's a host.
Gordon: Anything for Money
Chico: Little known gem from the 80s.
Gordon: Baby Races
Chico: Even littler known gem from the 90s. Next, he was also a player...
Gordon: MAJOR player.
Chico: We've seen him on Match Game... I believe both the 70s/80s edition and the 1990 revival...
Gordon: Rhyme and Reason. Match Game (all 3 versions), Cross-Wits, Password Plus, Just Men.
Chico: He was a Hollywood Square.
Gordon: He obviously loved game shows.
Chico: Oh yeah. But obviously his meal ticket was his voice(s). He was an impressionist, a voice characterization.
Gordon: He was a staple of Saturday morning cartoons.
Chico: Some of our faves: Dragon's Lair... Shirt Tales... Jetsons... Scooby-Doo...I loved his "Bogey"
Gordon: Smurfs. you liked Smurfs?
Chico: I loved Smurfs. They were smurfing awesome.
Gordon: So yeah. Fred Travalena will be missed. Unfortunately, just like last week, he's not the only one.
Chico: Nope. We also lost a great character actress out of England, Mollie Sugden, known around the US as being on Are you Being Served. She was actually one of the featured players on the quiz show Cluedo. If that sounds familiar, it's an adaptation of the board game we know as "Clue"
Gordon: Great show.
Chico: Indeed. It's on YouTube if you look.
Gordon: Very true. Who else passed?
Chico: The Streets of San Francisco are a little emptier with the passing of Karl Malden. Known for that series, also known for American Express commercials. He was a mystery guest on What's My Line and a panelist on The Movie Game in 1971.
Gordon: Malden was one of the most underappreciated actors of our time. He was a great character actor.
Chico: Very much so. That comes from a gruff upbringing. Oh, and one more... Ken Roberts... announcer for such shows as "It Pays to Be Ignorant", "Make Me Laugh", and "Chance of a Lifetime".
Gordon: You know what I'm wondering?
Chico: What are you wondering?
Gordon: I'm wondering if all of these celebrities didn't get on a plane somewhere, and LaToya Jackson, after hearing some psychic voices in her head, freaked out, which led them to all get off the plane before it crashed, and now Death is now coming for all of them. What do you think?
Chico: I think you better set up an elaborate Rube Goldberg plot device...
Gordon: Hey, it worked for Final Destination, didn't it?
Chico: There you go. So let's have a moment for all of these greats...

(silence)

Gordon: Thank you.
Chico: Now that that's over with, let's have some fun. This week had a premiere of a new show on Oxygen called "Dance Your Ass Off". It's a dancing competition. It's a weight-loss competition. It should be banned in 18 states.
Gordon: Distribution of obscene material in the form of cellulite?
Chico: Correct. Here's how it goes down...Regular folks (like you and me, only with substantially more girth) are paired with professional dancers.
Gordon: So let's start with The Good: It's heart is in the right place.
Chico: Right. And it's all competition based, no popularity whatsoever. The weight loss is combined with dancing acuity to determine who gets the boot.
Gordon: The acuity is subjective.
Chico: Well, it's a lot better than voting someone in just to keep them in. I mean, we have experts judging on this sort of thing, and that's a step up.
Gordon: Which leads to...The Bad. I'm sure the judges can be 'swayed' due to popularity and crowd approval.
Chico: Also bad... some of the wardrobe choices are just downright scary. I understand this is a dancing competition but... Wow.
Gordon: And again, and I hate to put it this way...this is just not easy on the eyes.
Chico: Yeah. The heart's in the right place... but... mesh shirts do nothing for you.
Gordon: No they don't. And i see a bunch of Nathan's Hot Dog eaters who could be competitors on the second season.
Chico: Heh. Well, give credit where credit is due. At least everyone involved is a tryer.
Gordon: I give it points for where the heart is and the inspiration. And it may inspire people to join in, which is the point of this. That being said, there's nothing new here that we haven't seen before. C.
Chico: Agreed. We've seen this before, but we have players who want to do something well for themselves. I can't fault them for that. C+ The plus is for effort. Now as we're doing WLTI... we're also watching Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. At halftime... it's Chestnut 42, Kobayashi 40. But last night as 5th Grader returned, it was all Chestnut.
Gordon: Could he eat his way through 11 questions?
Chico: He got as far as $100,000, but it's this week's Million Dollar moment. Ironically, the $175,000 question is 4th Grade Health. Okay, now the question...

Who pioneered the concept of vaccinations with his research into preventing Smallpox?
A) Jonas Salk B) Edward Jenner C) Charles Drew

Gordon: Let's see. Salk did Polio
Chico: Right.
Gordon: Drew discovered plasma.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: So it has to be B. Jenner
Chico: You sir... are correct.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Joey said A... and was wrong. He left with $25,000
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: But before we do... One word... THREEPEAT. Joey Chestnut eats 68 hotdogs and buns. That's a new world record. The mustard belt stays in the greatest country in the world on the greatest day of the year.
Gordon: I bet it would be a different tune if they doped Chestnut's burgers with wasabi.
Chico: Nah, he'd probably like it. Meanwhile, the other player of the night, Veronica Lodge, zeroes out on this question for $25,000. The subject: 3rd Grade Math...

Francesca has five shelves in her room. If she puts six dolls on each of the first four shelves and three dolls on the last shelf, what's the total number of dolls on all the shelves?

Chico: It's a word problem, so...
Gordon: 6 * 4 = 24 + (3) = 27
Chico: I was going to say take your time, but that's absolutely right.
Gordon: Yay! Where's my money?
Chico: Go talk to Jason Block.
Gordon: Ok. Jason, I'm coming for you.
Chico: Francesca... her kid partner, said 33. Veronica went with 9.
Gordon: ....9?
Chico: 9.
Gordon: Veronica needs some help reading the question
Chico: Five shelves. Four of them have six. That's 24 ALONE. This was a slam dunk. Come on, now.
Gordon: I bet she thought that it's 1 on each of the shelves. But that wouldn't be 3rd grade math.
Chico: That would just be counting.
Gordon: She can count the $25,000 going away.
Chico: So how many chickens can you catch with $25,000?
Gordon: I can catch a bunch. Not as much as Kevin Skinner can, though.
Chico: Nope. Of course, if you're Kevin Skinner, all you need is a guitar and some dulcet tones and songs about real country folks.
Gordon: Kevin produces our 'Susan Boyle' moment of the show as he unexpectedly sings country well. Very well.
Chico: Very very well. Not the best country singer I've heard, but up there.
Gordon: Is that your winner?
Chico: He's got the votes to do it. I say he's in it with a chance.
Gordon: I don't know about that. How did Susan Boyle finish again?
Chico: Second.
Gordon: I don't think he has the chops. I think he's a lock for the Top 40 and will do very well though.
Chico: Oh yeah, no doubt.
Gordon: But you know who my favorite act to get in is?
Chico: No, but Gordon Pepper's gonna tell the world, isn't he?
Gordon: He is. Fuchsia FoXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chico: Ha.
Gordon: Belly Dancer. (Drool)
Chico: How does she do?
Gordon: I don't know if she makes the Top 40 (and if she does, she won't be there for long), but I can dream, can't I?
Chico: Stranger things have happened. Remember a certain burlesque dancer we had on the show three years ago?
Gordon: The one that did an interview for us?
Chico: The very same.
Gordon: I do remember that, yes
Chico: There you go.
Gordon: 4 more audition shows to go. Which acts did you like this week?
Chico: Hurricane Tricksters were good. They don't win, but they looked cool. Thia Megia - also great.
Gordon: Another young'un.
Chico: Yep
Gordon: Youn'g uns do well via the audience vote.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Gordon: Speaking of young'uns, tell us about the 12 new ones going into the Big Brother house.
Chico: Well, there are actually 13, but we have 12 announced. And the theme is "kicking it old school".
Gordon: We have school groups which promise to appeal to the high schooler in all of us.
Chico: Right. For example, I was the "Everybuddy". And Gordon?
Gordon: I was the bandgeek.
Chico: You have band camp stories?
Gordon: I do, but nothing that I'm going to mention here.
Chico: Of course. Here're your team of summertime shut-ins. Big Board, please.

Chico: That's a lot of Californians. Am I the only one that finds that telling?
Gordon: They always have a history of Californians (hello, lazy casting), but here's what they all need to know. Big Board please?

Gordon: Subject: How to make Big Brother your home during the Summer.
Chico: K
Gordon: 1. And most importantly - make friends. The first people gone are people who aren't wanted in the house.
Chico: Absolutely. you're doing yourself no favors in being a recluse or an outcast. So even if it's with fellow outcasts, establish yourself as open.
Gordon: 2. And also just as importantly - don't make enemies at this point. You'll eventually make some, but not this early. Again at the beginning, people want to get rid of the person who makes the most friction in the house because it's an easy out. Don't be the easy out.
Chico: Precisely. There's a timeline. You start out as the everybuddy. Then when it's time to get into strategy, you establish game play. You think your way through the motions and people who do that TOO SOON are usually the first people out of the house. We call that "The Lubinski Rule", named after Mike Lubinski, who established himself as the oldest, only Republican, and most abrasive of the houseguests in the season when Drew Daniel won the whole thing.
Gordon: How long did he last again?
Chico: One week. AND he goes down as the only person in Big Brother US history to be voted out in the first week by unanimous decision.
Gordon: Bingo. 3. Be useful. Do the chores that people don't want to do. If you're essential around the place, they won't want to get rid of you - because then they'll have to do the work. It also gives you some key places to see what's going on around the house just by bearing within ear-shot of conversations.
Chico: And that's just good life advice right there. You make yourself useful and you're also privy to information. Information is power in this game.
Gordon: Very powerful. 4. Join alliances. You need one to survive...but DON'T be the person perceived to be in charge, because that's usually the person up on the chopping block when someone not in your alliance gets to be the Head of Household
Chico: So you want to be covert with your moves. Don't draw any unnecessary attention. You don't want to be the butt that people target.
Gordon: Right. 5. Be ready to Flip Flop on a moment's notice. You have to change like the wind. This isn't Survivor, where you can hitch to an alliance and ride it to the end.
Chico: What was it that 38 Special sang? Hold on loosely, but don't let go? If you cling too tightly... you're going to lose a bowl?
Gordon: Or in this case, a check for 500 G's.
Chico: Right on.
Gordon: 6. Finally, be ready to cut off your teammates to win the money. This isn't about finding your soulmate, as people have found out the hard way. This is about winning the money and cutting off threats. Drew did it properly and won the big money. Yvette didn't and won 10% of that.
Chico: There you go. Most importantly, remember. There's a difference between playing hard and playing smart.
Gordon: You're not here to make nice. you're here to make green
Chico: Correct. So that's how you take Big Brother home in six easy steps. Looks easy.. ISN'T.
Gordon: If you're making me put a list up of winners, I will - Will > Drew > Jun > Maggie > Dan > Dick > Boogie > Lisa > Eddie > Adam
Chico: See... I don't even remember Adam :-)
Gordon: I do - for the wrong reasons. Retard speech, anyone?
Chico: NOW I remember Adam. Thanks. Jerk :-)
Gordon: lol
Chico: So from there we go to a show in which people of the Big Brother jibe seldom win. The theme this week... "the power of 3".
Gordon: That would be Jeopardy!
Chico: Lots of three-timers, lots of people GOING for three. Of course, if you're being logical, there are only two. Because that's all we had time for this week.
Gordon: True. let's go over the power of 3.
Chico: Right. First up, Tui Sutherland, the carryover champ from last week. She was going for three on Tuesday. By the way... cute as a button. But she runs into a force called Nina Ginocchio. Ends up losing on Tuesday. So sad. Nina just poured on the pressure in the Double Jeopardy! round and as a result, it's the first time that Tui couldn't win on a runaway. The Tuesday Final to decide... American History.

History was made on December 1, 1955 when bus driver James Blake called the police & had this person arrested

Gordon: Who is Rosa Parks?
Chico: Good.
Gordon: As of the Montgomery, Alabama stand-off.
Chico: Right again. But here, we have a case of hindsight being 20/20. Nina only bet $1800 of her $17,400. She gets it right, boom, $19,200 right there.
Gordon: But what would have happened if Tui bet it all?
Chico: Tui had $9600. If she bet it all.... We would've had CO-champs.
Gordon: Fatal blunder by Tui.
Chico: Very fatal. That leads to a three-game tear by Nina. Unfortuantely, the only thing Nina could do against Chris Hernandez in the final... pray that he overshoots it. The final that day... The Solar System.
Gordon: And unfortunately for her, he doesn't. Can we have the question please?
Chico: Sure. It's a clue.

One of the 2 moons in our solar system larger than Mercury; one orbits Jupiter & one orbits Saturn

Gordon: What is Jason Block's butt?
Chico: Correct!
Gordon: Yay! I think it's called Pantsless Blockicus
Chico: Except it's not.
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: We're looking for either Titan or Ganymede.
Gordon: Titan. That would be your butt.
Chico: My butt is actually surprisingly firm.
Gordon: Chico got a big ol' butt....
Chico: I think Ganymede. Ganymede was actually on Dance Your Ass Off.
Gordon: Yipes :O
Chico: Yeah, that's just horrible, isn't it? The hams are not pleased. They're just... they're just looking at me right now.
Gordon: I think they are wondering when you're enrolling them in the program. They all have...um...butts that could be slenderized.
Chico: Yeah. Might have something to do with that. By the way, before we go to the news, Chris Hernandez returns Monday to defend.
Gordon: While Chris defends, let's Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up... I have a greenlight.

ABC orders "The Fast & the Funniest" from Last Comic Standing producers Page Hurwitz and Javier Winnik.

Chico: It sounds like Road Rules meets "Can You Top This".
Gordon: It's a Fast Paced Last Comic Standing on a tour bus. It could work.
Chico: But the deal is contingent on casting. If greenlit, "Funniest" would premiere in late midseason or next summer. As for things that will show up rather sooner...

CBS is going to roll with There Goes the Neighborhood on August 9 with Matt Rogers as host.

Chico: Matt, of course, was the host of Science Channel's "Really Big Things".
Gordon: Matt 'I was 11th in American Idol' Rogers.
Chico: And... yeah, that. He's since carved a career in TV presentation.
Gordon: Good for him. Glad the exposure helped him out.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Gordon: That helped him fill up his datebook.
Chico: The only thing going against this show, though... It may go up against dun-dun-dun-dundundundun-duuuuuuun! You go up against Regis... you lose ... Automatically.
Gordon: We'll see if Regis can save ABC...again...but in the meantime, here's a Datebook.

After the Great American Road Trip, we go to CBS's Summer staple - Big Brother on Thursday.

Chico: Like all great American road trips, this one is going to end in tears. As for Big Brother... you can't doubt that there is an audience for crap, so...
Gordon: You like to watch. Just admit it.
Chico: Yeah, you and CBS want to convince me of that. Not happening. Heh.
Gordon: You'll change your mind once you see Lydia's tattooed body filled with nakedness.
Chico: Maybe. I'm actually thinking of Laura's body filled with nakedness. Naked body being naked with the nudity.
Gordon: And there's nothing wrong with that (calls a shrink).
Chico: Ha. Meanwhile, I've got a treat for any Wheel fan with an iPhone.

Wheel of Fortune is out for the iPhone and iPod Touch. It's available at the App Store for $5. I got it... Love it.

Gordon: Will the shrink that I called for you like the iPhone app?
Chico: I think so. Just a reminder, folks... WLTI the Radio... coming soon :-)
Gordon: Will the shrink I called for you like some new clients?
Chico: Yes.

Are YOU Smarter Than...Crazy Nick, the guys that stops his team in Silent Library from a Perfect Game.

Gordon: The rest of his team goes 8-0. 'Crazy Nick'...goes 0-2 and costs his team both $1,300 and immortality.
Chico: 12 shows of the 20 of the first season.. and no one has run the board for $5500.
Gordon: That team could have, but didn't.
Chico: Clearly it's an easy task to do. But Crazy Nick was just... too crazy.
Gordon: Too crazy, too loud and too dumb. But I'm got more dumb, with a vat of Haterade.
Chico: Serve it up

According to Jake Pavelka, Wes Hayden is in cahoots with his girlfriend. Usually, you encourage such behavior - but not on The Bachelor. According to Pavelka, the only reason why Wes is on the show is to sell his country CDs and be a sympathetic character. I don't think that's a good way to get sympathy.

Chico: No. Especially when said girlfriend is going on record as being "surprised".
Gordon: If Jillian, based on all this, decides on Wes, she'll be reappearing in this column.
Chico: Who, Jillian or the GF?
Gordon: ...both?
Chico: Oh, and one more thing. she's also linked to Brad Womack, who met DeAnna Pappas, who met Jason Mesnick, who met Jillian Harris. And thus we come full circle. That's another show, though.
Gordon: You mean the Brad Womack who's still single?
Chico: Right
Gordon: I have that feeling you want to sent the show around the world
Chico: Yep. And this trip to Turkey comes with a bit of... "WHAT?!"

The buzz coming from Turkey is a game show in which religious heads compete for the hearts and souls of atheists.

Chico: Now there are some topics that are absolutely off limits when it comes to light entertainment... religious strife happens to be at the top of the list.
Gordon: It's going to be a glorious...train wreck.
Chico: I can imagine where someone would have a problem with this.
Gordon: I can also imagine they are going to have a hard time casting. But we have some casting announcements. Do you want to be on a hot sexy show, Chico?
Chico: Depends. How hot and sexy is it?
Gordon: Its called Temptation Street.
Chico: Cheap shot coming. Cheap shot coming. Cheap shot coming.

It's a new Hidden Camera show to see if youre mate can be tempted away. If you wish to test your mate's infidelity, go here:

http://www.realitywanted.com/call/4921-major-networks-new-hidden-camera-show-for-couples

If you want to be a sexy poker playing temptationist, go here:

http://www.realitywanted.com/call/4922-casting-hot-sexy-poker-players-intermediate-level-men-women

Chico: So are any of these shows being shot on the Appalachian trail?
Gordon: No - but what about one on an airplane?
Chico: An airplane?
Gordon: An Airplane.

"The Real World meets Girls Gone Wild on a private jet" "This is the mile high club in the Stratosphere"

We are looking for attractive 21-28 year old GIRLS and GUYS with BIG and BOLD personalities to compete on a new reality dating show that takes place on a Gulfstream jet.

-Any ethnicity/background/sexual preference is welcome to apply! We are also casting for a female Flight Attendant to be the host of the show.

In order to apply you must prove to be qualified to serve as the only flight attendant on board a private Gulfstream aircraft. If you are looking for love or just looking to hook up this is the show for you!

http://www.realitywanted.com/call/4914-casting-call-for-mtv-style-reality-dating-show-paid-los-angeles

Gordon: Go Get 'em, Tiger!
Chico: Except for one thing...I'm 29. Oooh. So close. But I'm sure that others will jump on this.
Gordon: Aw. What if people want to dress up in funny costumes without going on a plane?
Chico: Now THAT I can get behind.

Let's Make a Deal Pilot. July 6th and 8th. Make sure to check out about.com Game Shows to apply. You MUST be available on both dates.

Chico: That ought to be pretty cool. I've always loved that show.
Gordon: What about winning a million dollars by playing poker. You like that?
Chico: I REALLY like that

If you want to play Face The Ace, go to Full Tilt Poker and play free qualifiers to try to get on the show. If you win 3 matches against poker's best, you win the million.

Chico: Again, something to look forward to in August.
Gordon: Finally...

MTV's Bully Beatdown is casting for season 2. If you want to win $10,000 by not tapping out, go here...

http://www.realitywanted.com/call/4840-mtv-is-looking-for-tough-guys-to-win-10000-on-bully-beatdown-casting-call

SUBMIT PICTURE & PHONE NUMBER-COME IN TO AUDITION IN LOS ANGELES-BE ABLE TO ACT LIKE A COCKY JERK!

Chico: And you have cocky jerk all over you.
Gordon: And yes, I'm over 25, so I'm not eligible. Too bad. So sad.
Chico: Aw.
Gordon: Maybe you'd like some of there Media Hoes instead.
Chico: Maybe. (plays "Pimpin' All Over the World")

In this week's Hodometer, Len Goodman is recovering from surgery, Ace Young is engaged, Melissa Rycroft FINALLY finds a man (no, not on the Bachelor)...

Gordon: You going to the wedding, Chico?
Chico: Nah, I'll pass.

Survivor Winner Bob Crowley pens a memoir, Graham Norton hosts a show called 'Most Popular', Blake Lewis releases a new album...Paula Abdul gets a cameo on Drop Dead Diva, Katie Holmes dances for episode #100 of So You Think You Can Dance, and Reno Collier talks about the Great American Road Trip.

Gordon: But none of them are your Ho of the Week.
Chico: Who do you have?
Gordon: I have Mark Burnett, who gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Chico: Nice. Good body of work to back it up. Survivor... the Apprentice... 5th Grader...
Gordon: Marta Stewart Show, Bully Beatdown, and the soon to be Shark Tank.
Chico: Good stuff.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okay, and three-and-a-half hours and a hot dog contest later, it's time to shut it down.
Gordon: When we come back, we figure out why our VCR's are cursing us out.
Chico: And then, we ask one big question... are you made of dumb or something?
Gordon: This when we come back. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 sick, bloated people who didn't win the Hot Dog Eating championship. Hazmat Team, stat!

(Brainvision is brought to you by ShamWhew of Love with Vince. You're gonna love his nuts. Coming soon to VH1. They'll greenlight ANYTHING.)

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