Episode 21.10
August 10

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and we pride ourselves on bringing you our smart, keen commentary.
Chico: And usually, we're spot on with what happens and what happens next...
Gordon: Not last week, we weren't.
Chico: Strangely enough, though, there are times when we get it totally wrong. Last week... Oh doctor did we get it wrong.
Gordon: And hence, we are here to show you we are not afraid to make fun of ourselves. Especially when we deserve it.
Chico: So that being said... from somewhere in America... the Gordon and Chico are Morons edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: YAY!
Chico: He's Gordon, I'm Chico. We're morons. And joining us on the making of fun is Don Harpwood...
Don: Hey.
Chico: and Joe Mello..
Joe: Hi. I'm here basically to do a Ren impression
Chico: Great to see you guys again. :-)
Gordon: Jason Block has decided to not show up and taking his beatings like a man, so Don and Joe will take the beatings for him.
Joe: Pfft.
Don: Oh, boy...
Gordon: Let's start with the big one. We go back to last week's Higher or Lower.

(Flashback)

Lot of buzz on the CBS pilot watch. Some say that it's between an hour of Let's Make a Deal and an LMAD/Pyramid two-fer. So what are the chances of Pyramid seeing the light of day? Higher or Lower than... let's make this easy. 50%

Jason: Higher. 95%. Unless CBS is dumb as a brick.Chico: Yeah. They're considering an hour of LMAD. We've already proven that that won't work. So dumb as a brick... don't sell yourself short.
Gordon: Higher. 99.9%. This is a perfect 2 hour game show block between 10am and noon. This will also help out TPIR's ratings. And Davies is a genius with the show.
Chico: I'd have to say that Michael Davies is a genius. But the question is... does CBS believe he is? I mean, he did do Poewr of 10. And CBS did run it into the ground come season 2. I'm going to say Higher.
Jason: Wanna give a number?
Chico: On good faith. 97%. Come on, CBS.

(/flashback)

Chico: Yeah, so much for that, huh?
Joe: Be glad you didn't say 100%
Gordon: So the big news from CBS is that they picked up a game show. HOWEVER, said show is not Pyramid, but Let's Make a Deal.
Chico: Which is not a BAD thing, mind you.
Don: I was really looking forward to a new Pyramid, but hey, this isn't bad.
Gordon: Now nothing against Let's Make a Deal, because I think it would also be a great idea, but no Pyramid? really? You couldn't have done a pair of half hour shows?
Chico: I know, right?
Joe: I'm terribly okay with this
Chico: I mean, I'm okay with this as well...
Joe: LMAD can work as an hour, provided the games are interesting enough.
Chico: But seriously... if you look at the history of an hour-long Let's Make a Deal... it has a LOT going against it.
Joe: Well, the last hour-long LMAD was run by stupid people.
Chico: Flashback to 1996 with Fox's Big Deal which was BASED upon LMAD, but not canonical. Then go to 2003 and LMAD with Billy Bush.
Don: Ugh.
Chico: Less said about it, the better.
Gordon: Can we not say anything about it and say we did?
Chico: Okay! And finally, two years ago with Game Show Marathon.
Gordon: I'm surprised they didn't do a game asking if they could have the curtain or what's in Lance Bass's banana.
Joe: Having sat through multiple episodes of Bush Deal, it had flashes of greatness (or at least goodness). GSM was just awkward.
Chico: I have to give it to Joe there. It did have flashes of goodness.. but it was far outweighed by Billy Bush being "too cool for the room"
Gordon: Um...no, revisionist history writers. It was outweighed by 'reach under the kilt and grab your prize'.
Joe: yeah, that was the killer
Chico: Funny, I thought that was "Don't Forget Your Toothbrush"...Or did one rip from the other.
Joe: Likely. It was the first deal of the first episode
Gordon: Believe it or not, there is such a thing as common decency. Especially as the first deal in this sort of a show.
Chico: Really? I'm surprsied.
Joe: Did you type that with a straight face, G?
Gordon: Believe it or not, yes. There's a line that you can't cross which I believe they did, and since that was the opening deal, the audience tuned out and didn't give them a chance to recover.
Chico: Seriously, though... If you're going to do something for that, you have to do it in the common taste. It "has to play in Peoria", as it were. And I think that's what CBS is going for.
Joe: I think they have a good choice for a Peoria-playing host.
Gordon: It has to play to the 70 year old in North Dakota. Grabbing what's under your kilt doesn't exactly do that.
Chico: Unless it's THAT kind of 70 year old. :-)
Gordon: I don't mean you in 41 years.
Joe: Oh snap
Chico: But seriously, here's a good question... Why take an hourlong LMAD over a two-fer? I present this Big Board.

Chico: This one's called Let's Make Let's Make a Deal. Why take an hour of show over half an hour? First of all... Let's be frank... Recession. This is a VERY cheap show to produce - comparatively, that is. And the product placements offset, so it's even CHEAPER. And there's a probability for a long-term return on an investment.
Gordon: If you think about it, if you award certificates which have to be spent, it could help jump start an economy. $500 in cash is always good, don't get me wrong, but a $500 Certificate to CVS, for example, puts money in businesses.
Chico: Works for TPIR, with the gift cards and gas cards and what not.
Joe: C.A.R.S is a good non-game show example for that - aka cash-for-clunkers
Gordon: The old LMAD's gave out gas cards, etc. And let's not underestimate the budget underwritings of a show if you can get lots of product placements AND a casino to sponsor your product.
Chico: Even CHEAPER.
Joe: And the casino profits, too
Gordon: The casino definitely does. Let's talk budget.
Chico: You have hosts, models, prizes. Simple enough. With something like Pyramid... you have hosts, celebs, prizes, overhead, etc.
Chico: And those celebs don't come cheap, I don't think.
Gordon: Just the influx of people who'll be there for food and gambling more than makes up for a budget of $25,000 or so per show.
Chico: But with LMAD, there's a built-in audience of traders potentially.
Gordon: You don't have that same sort of marketing opportunities with Pyramid.
Chico: Bingo. You really don't. So you can't fault CBS for that.
Joe: Even better, you have a potential audience of gamblers.
Gordon: Sure do. I'd guarantee the shows will be sold out, and then those same traders will gamble a little on the casino floor.
Joe: Gamblers might be more inclined to trade for the Zonk behind curtain #2, saving the budget even more
Chico: And if you can build a buzz and translate that into revenue, then everyone wins.
Gordon: It could also boost the ratings for The Price is Right. In NYC, it would be a 2 hour block, replacing Guiding Light. If I'm a game show fan, I know where I'm keeping my remote for 2 hours and I won't be channel surfing.
Chico: Hopefully CBS will sit on Pyramid for a while. So it's not a popular move, but it's the right move... for right now. *crosses fingers*
Joe: That being said, I can't imagine a Michael Davies joint not having suitors.
Gordon: Funny you should say that, Joe. Here's one more thing to keep in mind. According to Nina Tassler of CBS, Guiding Light may not be the only casualty. As The World Turns, among other soap operas, is also not out of the woods and is in danger of being cancelled. Is it possible that the show (or any other soap opera) bites the dust, Pyrmid gets picked up as a replacement and CBS has 3 hours of game show programming?
Don: Oh, that would be great!
Joe: That would be ridiculous
Gordon: Ridiculous, but plausible?
Chico: Plausible.
Joe: Pyramid is slight less malleable for an hour format, unless you crib from Family Feud Challenge or something similar.
Chico: True.
Chico: But it's something better suited for half an hour. Still, though... A pilot like that you want to have in the pocket.
Chico: JUST in case.
Joe: And again, Davies has to be getting suitors, I would think
Gordon: Oh. ONE more thing. Again. Marie Osmond has called off her talk show, but it was cleared in 80% of America. Program Partners needs a new hour show to fill in that spot. Season 3 of Crosswords is not a viable option. Would Pyramid be?
Don: Hmm...
Joe: Repeat. Davies. Suitors.
Chico: If I was Sony... I'd go to Program Partners and say... Helllooooo. Speaking of... Helloooo, Gordon..
Gordon: Heloooooo Chico

(Flashback)

Kara is signed. Simon is signed. Seacrest is signed. Randy's been signed. No word on Paula. So the number of mainstays returning on Idol. Higher or lower than...4.5?

Chico: Higher. Everyone comes back. Everyone's happy, and this to-do is just that... to do.
Jason: Higher. Idol is not Idol without everyone else.
Gordon: Higher. FOX isn't stupid. And since Kara did not go as planned for Paula insurance, you don't want to see her and her fans opposite you on ABC in the Winter of 2010 a la Dancing With the Stars.

(/Flashback)

Chico: And then I went on to say that I'd be absolutely gobsmacked. Well.... color me gobsmacked, as Paula announces via her Twitter that she's leaving the show.
Don: What a shocker that was!
Joe: Surprising at first, but in the end, not really.
Chico: Do tell, Joe.
Joe: Well, let's see. Let's talk about the type of publicity everyone was bringing in. Simon is the face of the show, for better or worse.
Chico: Right.
Joe: Seacrest is the hardest working man in show biz
Chico: Right.
Joe: Randy Jackson has ABDC
Chico: Right.
Joe: What has Paula done? Have issues, allegedly
Chico: Well, she did have issues. But at the same time... she was the second smartest judge on the panel. And in a room as tough as that, you almost need a Paula.
Joe: But, bad PR is still bad PR. With "sinking" ratings, you want to keep the ship clean of problems.
Chico: So that's why this departure sorta questions me. It's like... Paula thinks the show needs her more than she needs the show, when in reality the opposite is true.
Joe: And when "what's in Paula's Coke glass" becomes a hot button discussion...yeah
Chico: Because without the show, now she's just reduced to, for better or worse, a trivia question.
Joe: I'm thinking this is by-the-book house cleaning.
Gordon: I agree with what all of you are saying. That being said, Idol is making a mistake here.
Joe: Oh, I never said it was a good idea. It may be good in the long run, but you're taking out one of the marquee names.
Chico: It's almost like they're upsetting the balance, yeah.
Gordon: First of all, Kara is not nearly as good as Paula. Second of all, even though Paula is sometimes loony, she's the sunny side of the show. You need a happy influence. If you don't get it, then it upsets the balance and you have 3 cranky judges, which is hard to watch on TV. You need a balance.
Chico: Actually, you have one cranky judge and two parrots, because Randy and Kara have actually been echoing each other as the season went on.
Don: It'll be rougher on the contestants, for sure.
Joe: But do people tune in for the sunny side of the show?
Gordon: I think some people do. You need to keep the show fair, and not mean-spirited. Paula stops Simon from going overboard. I think Idol could have a darker overtone next season, and that's not a good thing. Kara has already been ridiculed for not bringing anything to the party, and in many cases, the ridiculers are right. She doesn't bring anything new to the party.
Joe: Maybe the removal of the Always Positive Paula will force Randy and/or Kara to change their tune
Gordon: They are going to have to. The constitution of the group the way it is will not work as well.
Chico: Kara's basically going to have to step her game up as judge. She's now the new Paula. Randy's been doing this for eight or so years... I'm hoping that this year he doesn't mail in the "dawgs" and the "yo" and what not.
Gordon: I don't think Kara as the new Paula is a good fit.
Joe: We shall see.
Gordon: And I think Idol is making an error here. I don't think Paula is worth 20 million, but I think you should have given her the 12 mil.
Chico: Indeed.
Don: Definitely.
Chico: And I'll even go so far as to say... what happens usually when you break up the band or if one of the band members leave?
Gordon: The band usually is not as good as the original.
Joe: Question: Didn't Simon get a ginormous pay boost?
Gordon: I would consider it ginormous. He has more revenue coming in that some small countries.
Joe: So another possibility was that it could give a raise to Simon OR Paula but not both.
Gordon: I don't think so. I think it's more a matter of self-worth. Paula thinks her worth is more than what FOX thinks.
Chico: Simon's got a lot riding on the franchise AND the products of said franchise. Paula... not so much, so it's easy to just fish or cut baits. Is it a good move for either Paula OR the show? No.
Gordon: I think that's a bad judgment call. I also think this is as well...

(FLASHBACK)

Gordon: Next Food Network Star Finalist. Who you got?
Jason: I got the male. Jeffrey.
Chico: I'm about to do something I may regret... and agree with Jason.
Gordon: I'll actually agree. He's been solid the whole series.
Chico: He's been dead on all season.
Gordon: You know we're all going to be wrong now.
Chico: Ha!

(/Flashback)

Chico: This is what I get for agreeing with Jason.
Joe: You saw it coming
Gordon: I'll also add that Chico trusted Jason at the airport and got us in the wrong parking lot.
Joe: LOL
Chico: Only by three parking spaces.
Don: lol
Chico: But yeah, Melissa's your Next Food Network Star
Joe: Reality shows are like college football--it's not about the days you win, but the ones you lose
Gordon: Very true. and I think The Food Network once again selected the wrong person.
Chico: How do you figure?
Gordon: Jeff has been the most consistent person in the whole competition. Jeffrey won 3 competitions to Melissa's 1. He also won 2 mini-challenges to Melissa's 0.
Chico: Agreed. He has been consistent through and through. And Melissa wasn't as strong as a competitor, but I have an interesting theory as to why Melissa won. They weren't judging the players as much as they were judging the pilots. Melissa's show had producing a dinner for $10, hence the title, "10 Dollar Dinners". That's rather topical for this time.
Joe: *Sandra Lee joke goes here?*
Chico: Point, Joe. Jeffrey's Show? "the Ingredient Smuggler". I don't even know what one would do with that. Which leads me to believe that they weren't judging on playersmanship (is that a word?) as they were on end product. And in an ideal world, the best player wins. So why in the hell... did Melissa get the nod?
Joe: As someone who didn't watch the finale, and would have to be sold on these two pilots on title alone, "The Ingredient Smuggler" sounds lame
Chico: Bingo.
Joe: While "$10 Dinners" sounds not only intriguing, but something I could do
Gordon: But will you watch?
Joe: If my choices are Melissa and Sandra Lee...
Chico: No need to finish that sentence.
Joe: Also, Gordon, if you think the best overall player should always win, the 2007 New York Giants would like to have a word with you.
Chico: So NFNS was basically decided before the first salvo was ever fired. There's a season that I'll never get back again. Oh well, there's always year 6. If you can do better, than Food Network would like to have a word with you.
Gordon: We'll see if Melissa can get the ratings. She may surprise.
Chico: I have no doubt in my mind that something can happen. Speaking of happenings, I have another flashback...
Gordon: Oh goody. Lets have more pain.

(FLASHBACK)

Chico: The most intriguing show is Face The Ace, on August 1st.

(/ FLASHBACK)

Chico: How intriguing was that show, Gordon?
Gordon: I wanted to be intrigued about the show. I REALLY wanted to be intrigued.
Chico: Everyone did. It had everything... Poker! A former case lady...POKER1
Gordon: I wanted to be intrigued. But I'm not.
Chico: This is supposed to be something fun and magical! Where's my fun and magical?
Joe: Because it's Poker!
Gordon: The problem isn't 'it's poker'. The problem is what they did with it. Let's do the objective analysis here. The good: The premise is sound. It's a great concept - play against 3 aces, win a million dollars. They had some great hands in play. It was a lot of fun. The problem here (which would be The Bad): Everything else.
Chico: I have to agree with Gordon as well... I can tell you exactly where the problem is. On one side... Steve Schirripa. On the other side... Ali Nejad. You dare not bet all in or else you're going to see both of them over your shoulder creating the faux drama. Poker shows work best with the play-by-play on the booth, no outside influence. Granted, the hosts come in AFTER the trigger is pulled... but here they are making a spectacle out of things drawing attention away from the players. Do you really want that in a game show?
Joe: Not in a poker show, no
Gordon: I don't. It completely kills the mood and the pacing.
Don: Nope.
Gordon: You have to do this during the action, not stopping the action completely. It kills the pacing.
Joe: I have a theory. Few people really watch for the poker. They watch for the people playing.
Chico: They watch for the stars, yeah. Howard Lederer, Gus Hansen, Phil Gordon... Gavin Smith?
Joe: Don't forget Phil Ivey, who looked like he was double-parked
Gordon: I am one of the people who watches for the poker. But the entertainment value comes with the personalities which leads to...#2. Royally bad contestant and Ace selection. You have to select the chatty Aces. Phil Ivey rarely says anything. Howard Lederer doesn't equate to the common man in terms of thinking.
Chico: I have to contend with that, because the contestants qualify online. They wouldn't be there if they didn't have what it took. As for Aces... they're completely unknown until the door opens.
Joe: But the staff knows the Aces, and the staff knows the potential qualifiers
Gordon: Casting could have cast any of the pros from Full Tilt Poker. The contestants qualify, but in the legal, it says the producers have the final say. So they could have knocked out someone who doesn't have the personality.
Chico: Ah, this is true. Because after all... the point here and now in 2009 is, damn the game, we want good television. Because that's how you make the moneys in 2009.
Gordon: And if I had the choice of Aces, none of these make my roster. Big Board, please?

Gordon: The Subject: Gordon's Aces. Here's the list of FTP Pros you could have selected.

Patrik Antonius
Andrew Black
Andy Bloch
Farzad Bonyadi
Brad Booth
David Chiu
Michael Craig
Allen Cunningham
John D'Agostino
Roland De Wolfe
Eli Elezra
Chris Ferguson
Layne Flack
Perry Friedman
Rafe Furst
Phil Gordon
David Grey
Gus Hansen
Jennifer Harman
Rob Hollink
Phil Ivey
Chip Jett
Karina Jett
Berry Johnston
John Juanda
Erick Lindgren
Jeff Madsen
Mike Matusow
Nenad Medic
Robert Mizrachi
Carlos Mortensen
David Oppenheim
Eddy Scharf
Erica Schoenberg
Huck Seed
Erik Seidel
Gavin Smith
Mark Vos
Paul Wasicka
Lee Watkinson

Joe: Doesn't the last one play on the Senior PGA tour?
Gordon: No. That would be Lee Watkins.
Joe: :P
Gordon: If I'm looking for 4 poker pros with big personalities on that list, I've got a laundry list of people I would select over the 4 I've seen so far. #1 with a bullet - Mike Matusow. He's not known as 'The Mouth' for nothing. And he makes a perfect 'villain' for an amateur to play.
Chico: He's a heel.
Gordon: Perfect. And Chatty. #2 would be Phil Gordon. Talks a ton at the table. #3 - Jennifer Harman. The babe and also a chatter. Finally, #4 - Carlos Mortenson. Not only a talker but very, very aggressive. You want quick moving, aggressive play. Instead, you have a bunch of quiet, happy poker pros. And that spells TV's version of ennui.
Chico: I have a feeling we're going to see Gus Hansen soon. And I believe the end result played out in the ratings.
Joe: And I can name so many other good choices that are apparently off the board.
Gordon: You have to remember Joe, that these are people on Full Tilt Poker, and it's an FTP sponsored show, so you would think that these are the people they'd be most likely to get.
Joe: True, but I would spring for Phil Hellmuth. Even for one show
Gordon: He's sponsored by Ultimate Bet, but if he could legally do it, that's another great choice.
Joe: I also could've sworn that Daniel Negreanu was on the FTP roster, but w/e.
Gordon: Negreanu is on Pokerstars, not FTP.
Chico: Yep. Back to numbers, though... Who wants to hear the damage?
Joe: I think I've heard the damage already
Chico: The official ranking of the show... in the time slot... DEAD LAST. 1.59 MM in the first half, dropping to 1.54 MM in the second. So we're basically talking 1.57 million on the first night. On a TV show... that's basically no one watching.
Gordon: And there's reasons for it. The host and pacing is brutally slow, and all the beauty, charisma and entertaining qualities of the show is non-existent.
Chico: Did we mention preemptions in two big markets? Because that would be relevant. Houston, Detroit, and Milwaukee were all preempted for local programming, St. Jude specials, or infomercials. Basically... junk, junk, and more junk.
Gordon: So for those Milwaukeeans, Houstonians, and Detroiters who didn't see a Million Dollar Challenge, what happened, Chico?
Chico: Well, last night on the show, we had Don Topel playing for $1 million against Gavin Smith. He basically had $150,000 left to Gavin's $850,000. Don goes all-in with K-5. Gavin Smith has A-6, so already Gavin has the upper hand. Flop comes up: A-3-4.
Don: Ouch.
Chico: Turn: 9s. Don needs a deuce to double up. The river... 4. Gavin wins $10,000 for charity. Don wins nothing. NOTHING.
Gordon: Not only does Topel not win the million, he loses the $200,000 he put at risk to play for the million.
Joe: You EEEEEEEDIOT But this is one of the few times I approve with "Lose and Leave With Nothing." This is gambling, after all.
Chico: Next player up is registered nurse Marcia Owens. She plays the Ace of Diamonds... Gus Hansen... and loses. Too bad, so sad. Grades up?

	FACE THE ACE - NBC
	CHICO	GORDON	DON	JOE	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D	D	D	D	D

Gordon: The concept works. The problem is that nothing else did. They needed a quicker host, quicker pacing, and better Aces. D.
Don: I only saw last night's show, but based on what I saw, it's not something I'd be too hard-pressed to watch the next time it's on. D.
Joe: It's hard enough to be a poker show. To be a bad poker show.....D
Chico: It's a good idea, but it's executed poorly. So D... about right.
Gordon: That's true. Now for another Flashback. This one going to our Big Board on America's Got Talent...

(FLASHBACK)

Mosaic (A Capella Singers - MTV Top Pop Group Winners)

Jason: Mosaic has a legit shot to be in the top 5
Chico: They do. The question is... competition. Who are they going to be lumped up against... and can they stand out?
Gordon: I think there's your group. It would have been really interesting to see them compete against the Harmonizers - but the Harmonizers don't get the chance. Chico: MTV's top Pop Group.. big fish. Little pond.
Gordon: Now they have to build on it.

(/flashback)

Chico: The answers to both questions are "heavyweights" and "no."
Gordon: We learned a lot about America this week. Big Board please?

Gordon: The Subject: America's Got Voters. We learned a lot about the voting. This is a good blueprint to see what's going to make it into the future weeks.
Gordon: #1. America's voters skews old. If you look at the 18-35 demographics, it's VERY low as a top show on TV.
Chico: That's because the audience skews old.
Joe: That's not necessarily a given, though
Gordon: It is. Grandma Lee: In. Neither kiddie act made the Top 4.
Chico: Well, it did help that she was drop dead funny
Joe: Interesting choice of words
Gordon: Heh. She's funny to the older folk like us. For teenagers? Not so much.
Chico: Well, for teenagers, there's Acrodunk...Actually turned nothing into something, but they're going to have to go bigger in the next round.
Gordon: That's not really a teenager act either.
Chico: Oh, you want to talk about the blue-hair vote? Kevin Skinner.
Gordon: I agree with that - and with this. #2. America's vote is from the South.
Don: No surprise there.
Chico: How so?
Gordon: If you're following Idol, that's not a surprise. All 4 that get in via the audience vote have a Southern flavor. Skinner is from Kentucky, Acrodunk is from Houston, Drew is from Orlando and Grandma Lee is from Florida.
Chico: Then you have the bottom two as it were, Thia and Arcadian. Thia's from California... Arcadian's from... Florida.
Gordon: #3. The people who are voting - Non MTV Watchers. Both Breaksk8 and Mosaic don't smell the top half of the draw.
Chico: The MTV viewers are typically younger than the average AGT viewer.
Gordon: And finally; #4 - Camera time, as usual, IS a factor. America has been force fed Acrodunk and they get in.
Chico: Kevin Skinner also had a lot of hits online, so don't discount the YouTube factor.
Gordon: Right.
Chico: So basically watch this week with those four in mind, and you will have your winners.
Gordon: Very true, so keep it posted. That's all the Flashbacking we can deal with right now. Let's deal with 5th graders.
Chico: Okay. first, we're dealing with Bethany Hamilton. She's a surfer from Hawaii. She is going for the freeball on this question for $50,000. The subject: 3rd Grade Grammar. The question:

How many of the words in the following sentence are articles? "Bryce fed the monkey a banana, an apple, and the last piece of cake?"

Don: Four.
Gordon: the, a, an and the. That would be 4.
Joe: This isn't a newspaper so there are no articles, but yes, 4.
Chico: Actually, there are four :-) Bethany copies Jenna's answer... 2.
Joe: yikes
Gordon: Jenna is less a monkey and more a goat.
Chico: Next comes Eli Kennedy with this...5th Grade Earth science

What is the name of this rock formation, which is over 3000 feet tall and located in Yosemite National Park?

Chico: It's a video question, so click the link...

http://static2.panoramio.com/photos/original/5336368.jpg

Chico: Answers, please.
Don: I actually hadn't seen that rock formation before...
Joe: Geology was never my strong point, so I'll just say Dwayne Johnson
Don: lol
Chico: We have a "never seen that before", and a "Dwayne Johnson." Gordon?
Gordon: That's easy. Chico has been there. That's Mark Sanford's Appalachian Trail hideaway.
Chico: BAD GORDON! NO HOME GAME! It was actually "El Capitan"
Gordon: Don't the ladies call him El Capitan?
Chico: Why yes. Yes they do.
Don: Heh.
Chico: So Eli leaves with $25,000...
Gordon: And the Hamsters have told me they want to go there for their Summer vacation.
Chico: Hope they don't expect to climb el Capitan, unless they decide to hitch a ride on Cooper.
Gordon: They actually wanted to venture into the caves.
Chico: Ah, then that's perfect! First, though... let's do the news!
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First, Gordon?
Gordon: First up - we have a Datebook.

No new dates this week, but the Millionaire Week continues, so that could be fun to follow. We also have the season finale of the Singing Bee on Saturday.

Gordon: And when you get that much of a buzz, you feel like you want to be Fully Loaded.
Chico: Buzz. :-) As opposed to a hic.

We all know Millionaire starts this week, but did you know that you could play along with the show at abc.com? Iiiiiiiiiiiiit's TRUE!

Don: Sweet!
Joe: They're Enhancing my TV experience?
Chico: Out of the mouths of Joes. Right out of the textbook.
Joe: If only they could figure out a name for this Enhancing of TV.
Gordon: I bet it's not Stupidpeople-O-Vision
Chico: Nope.

Are YOU Smarter than...Ronnie, who was our favorite to win this season of Big Brother...and doesn't even make the jury in the Big Brother house.

Chico: This is what happens when you play too hard too early. Boo. You would think that as a student of the game, he'd know that.
Don: No kidding. It was sad to see him make such a mistake.
Joe: IIRC, one of my co-workers discussing the show basically said that Ronnie was a type of bag that starts with "D"
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Deuce Bag?
Joe: Sure
Gordon: And hence, he gets this:



Chico: If it makes him feel any better...He can rest easy knowing that Chima's in the HOH room, with Russell and Lydia on the block.
Gordon: Just a reminder though that Jeff had the Coup D' Etat, and he's not going to let his ally or Russell stay on the block.
Chico: Or Lydia, for that matter. Kevin has the veto, and it's yet to be seen how he will use it. I'm guessing Lydia's coming off, though.
Gordon: Maybe, but the Haterade's coming on. Who wants some?
Chico: Me. I'm thirsty.
Don: Let's have some.
Gordon: Good, because I have a few glasses. First of all, let's see ANOTHER Flashback.
Chico: ANOTHER ONE?
Don: Uh-oh.

(Flashback)

Gordon: The players trying to play the audience the same way the audience plays the contestants. So let's grade Most Popular.
Gordon: Chico: Alright. It's a lot faster than WP, and a lot less serious, and it doesn't hide behind a pretense... A-.
Gordon: Gordon: I liked the concept before and I like this as well. If anything, I actually think it's done better here. And right now, my favorite game show of the Summer is on WE. A.

(/flashback)

Gordon: Not many people liked the show, but someone found it quite entertaining. Wanna know who?
Chico: I think I know.



Chico: As I thought.

You wanted to watch it Thursday? You found... 48 Hours on We.

Chico: Oh well.
Gordon: But we're not done. And Chico will Looooove this.

According to Reality TV World.Com, Ed Swiderski, who was chosen by Jillian Harris, was sleeping around before and DURING the taping of The Bachelorette. So sayeth 2 of the women who claimed to have slept with him.

Chico: Yeah, they got the info from Star Magazine. How many of you want to believe THAT?
Joe: You know what I have to say? *yawn*
Chico: I echo Joe's thought
Joe: But it was the #3 show last week (I think)
Chico: It was.
Gordon: If this relationship crashes and burns, do we see Jillian again?
Chico: God I hope not.
Joe: I guess one of the questions they need to ask next year on the application is "Are You a Slut?"
Chico: Ha.
Joe: If you check yes, you go to MTV
Chico: But that Zombie's not done yet. Baseball bat, please. (Baseball Bat Zombie) Thank you.
Joe: Wouldn't a shotgun be better?
Chico: In this case, yes (Shotgun Zombie) Thank you.

Moment of Truth was renewed a couple of years back for a season 2. It was shot. It's in the can. Now it's going to stay there. Fox is NOT bringing it back.

Joe: Somehow I doubt that
Chico: It's one of the subjects that came up in the TCA panel this week.
Chico: Kevin Reilly says, and I quote...

"There are no plans to air (the Moment of Truth) right now. I think it's unlikely."

Joe: That is, until their next attempt at a sitcom tanks
Gordon: I think it's unlikely also. That being said, For needs SOMEthing if one of their shows crashes and burns. I can see it coming back as a placeholder.
Chico: You mean you actually doubt the staying power of Michael Strahan? But he's a comic GENIUS! He could be the next Jason Block, I tell you!
Gordon: I think him staying on the football field for a 17 week season may be longer than the amount of time that he stays on our tv sets.
Chico: Ow.
Joe: Strahan's probably been hit in the head a few too many times
Gordon: I don't blame Strahan. I blame whoever greenlighted it.
Chico: Meanwhile, I have a greenlight as well. The same network has this in store.

Not only will we see an eighth season of Hell's Kitchen... but we'll see a December 15 special: Gordon Ramsay: Cookalong Live.

Joe: Cookalong?
Don: Sounds interesting.
Chico: As in one dinner... one hour. Good TV for foodies.
Joe: It's 2009 and Gordon Ramsay and the best we can we can do for a title is "Cookalong"?!
Chico: Go figure.
Gordon: I like the concept. I think Ramsay is one of the people who could pull it off.
Joe: That ranks right up there with "The Ingredient Smuggler" and anything that ends with "with Sandra Lee" for bad titles. Should be Gordon Ramsay, (^_^)along Live.
Chico: That sounds like a Match Game question. And speaking of people with too much time and too many cameras... *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World*
Joe: It's time for WLTI: Ho-Along Live
Chico: First, though, a casting couch.

If you're in Phoenix, Family Feud is looking for contestants on August 15! Call 323-762-8467 or email at phoenix@familytryouts.com

Gordon: And as for the Media Hoes...

In this week's Hodometer, Julianne Hough celebrates her birthday in Atlantic City, Bob Barker puts preuusre for animal rights, Tom Colicchio and Romber gets a baby boy (though not with each other)...

Chico: Because a baby with three people... would just be weird.

Drew Carey could be hosting Monday Night Raw, Jillian and Ed want to go play on Wipeout, and Jeanine Mason wins So You THink you Can Dance.

Gordon: But none of them are your Hoes of the Week.
Chico: Do tell
Gordon: We have ...rotating hoes!
Chico: I like rotating hoes.
Gordon: 30 of them. They are the 'guest judges' on both American Idol and America's Next Top Model, set to replace Paula Abdul and Paulina Porizkova, respectively.
Chico: Yay. This could be a big boon or a big bust.
Gordon: We'll see some evil fun from us in September. Trust us on this one. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And finally, we're going global. We're going to the UK this week...

Preston, frontman for the Ordinary Boys, says he regrets walking off the set of Never Mind the Buzzcocks.

Chico: Video of the incident popped up online this week. It's on Youtube. And you know what? If that's the best we can come up with, you know it's time to end Brainvision. (Shutting Down)
Gordon: When we come back, I get some of Joe's email, but Chico, what's first?
Chico: What's first... I want to sing. This is WLTI. Give us 22 judges, we'll give you a fall season.
Gordon: Um, Chico...we need another 22 for the Winter.
Chico: We'll get more in 2010.

(Brainvision is powered by "Who Wants to Be Sandra Lee?" Think you can cook? Think you can blend ingredients that have NO business being together? You could be in your own show airing the 30th of February!)

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