Episode 21.2
June 15

Chico: Hey everyone! I'm Chico Alexander. With me is Gordon Pepper, and we are in the confines of the GSNN compound.. somewhere in America. In a moment, Gordon Jr. and Chairman, two of our Brainvision Hamsters... are going to flip this switch and convert us to all-digital Brainvision...
Gordon: So WLTI will be going DTV and HDTV? Nice.
Chico: Absolutely.
Gordon: Excellent. I can't wait. Flip the switch!
Chico: Count it down! Five! Four! Three! Two! One!

(static)

Chico: Oooh...

(unstatic)

Gordon: Ahhhh...

(lights go out)

Chico: ... I guess we still have a few kinks to work out on this.
Gordon: You have the backup generator set, right?
Chico: Got it.

(lights go back on)

Gordon: Thank ye.
Chico: What do you want to bet that by the time we get back upstairs to do the show the converters kick in?
Gordon: Probably. But we've had our own share of set mishaps for the past 250 episodes.
Chico: Yeah, don't remind me... Anyway, from somewhere in America... the 250th episode of WLTI and the first WLTI to be broadcast entirely in digital Brainvision... is... ON!
Gordon: YAY!
Chico: Woo! And have we got a treat for you to celebrate #250.
Gordon: Oooh. I like treats. You got candy?
Chico: Oh yeah. Lessee... you got the butterscotch buttons... the coffee toffees... the peppermint starlights... And Lemon Sours... I might need a few of those after LAST night. *takes a few* Because apart from some good ol' fashioned game show action... GSN left me sour.
Gordon: I'm guessing I know where we're starting the show at.
Chico: Oh yeah. Last night GSN launched its next great project...BIG SATURDAY NIGHT.
Gordon: GAME SHOW SATURDAY NIGHT! SATURDAY! SATURDAY! SATURDAY!
Chico: Hosted by Keegan-Michael Key... Ross the Intern... and... Charissa Thompson (aka. blonde pair of boobies). It combined games, play-at-homes, and comedy bits...
Gordon: And it's nice to see that the Powerball Containers from American Gladiators got some gainful employment.
Chico: I noticed that! It was basically SNL throwing up on Sabado Gigante... only less entertaining.
Gordon: I was thinking the exact same thing. Scary.
Chico: But hey... a lot of people won stuff... that's... good... right? But again... you think about the bits they did...Barack Obama... Alex Trebek in middle school... the Whammy in jail... and the Wide World of Games, where GSN steals our bit. Yeah.. I'm a bit ... peeved, shall we say? Are you a bit peeved?
Gordon: I'm less peeved and more dumbstruck.
Chico: Explain, sir.
Gordon: Let's start with BIG Saturday and the good, because there's a teeny tiny bit of good here. The good: I think the concept is there. I think that you could do a game show Saturday night/variety show and get some ratings.
Chico: Yeah. The games... if you could watch'em.. you could really enjoy them. Especially the one with Tom Green describing stuff. There's play along, folks. Another bit of good. A chance to win money at home... in your underpants.
Gordon: If you add some more advertisers to it, this could be a cash cow for GSN.
Chico: Or you could just throw some Worldwinner money at it. You know that site is a gold mine, though we're looking at an instance, where GSN is making money by giving it away.
Gordon: If you have any advertising, the show sells itself. And some of the bits were actually semi-funny.
Chico: Crazy, isn't it? Barack Obama's bit was actually clever. Hmmm... The Wide World of Games... also a bit clever. Especially when it didn't involve Ross the Intern. So that's the good.
Gordon: I liked the Wide World of Games bit. I hated the Obama bit. And the Obama bit summarizes my thoughts for the show. It's cute, but the execution is sorely lacking.
Chico: I'm guessing there was more bad. I know I saw some bad.
Gordon: I saw a ton of bad.
Chico: First up... Ross the Intern.
Gordon: He doesn't fit into the equation.
Chico: No. And he's annoying. Now I don't advocate violence against anyone...But if he said "oodles" one more time... I was going to punch him in the junk.
Gordon: I mean he's Ross. Ross is a cloying personality. He would fit in certain atmospheres. Like a celebrity one, or even a red carpet award show.
Chico: We had one of those, didn't we?
Gordon: We did. And he wasn't horrible there - as an interviewer, he complemented the show well. But Ross's personality hosting that style of game show? It doesn't work. What's the main point about being a host?
Chico: Let the players be the stars. And let the game be their stage. You're just there to move things along.
Gordon: Exactly. The host is a conduit, not a star. You're not supposed to put attention upon thee. Keegan-Michael Key did a respectable job.
Chico: Indeed. And... blonde chick, I forget her name... I honestly don't know why she was there.
Gordon: The female factor also did a decent job, because I don't remember her except for her powerballs.
Chico: That's a big tell if you don't remember who she is or why she was there.
Gordon: And boy, was it power.
Chico: Heh...but still... It could've been ANYONE. And some of the bits that they aired... They're making fun of game shows... on a game show-centered program... on a game show centered network...with game show fans watching. Someone... somewhere... is going to have a problem with this. You know what I mean?
Gordon: I do, but I think people have a sense of humor. I don't mind that as much, but I can understand why it would turn people off. However, like last week, I think that some of the material is not appropriate for a Saturday 8pm programming slot. Because I don't know why they are targeting the young audience when most of them will not be out on a Summer night watching a game show variety program,. The target here is going to be the old family folk - and a lot of that humor is going to leave a bad taste in their mouth.
Chico: Maybe save it for when they're airing at 10p. You know, when the kiddies are asleep. At least it wasn't stodgy. But still... would I watch it all the way through? No.
Gordon: Stodgy? No. Entertaining? Barely. It also has that fresh new infomercial feel to it.
Chico: Agreed. And when they overdo it... you can't help but wonder... "When did my games become my commercials?"
Gordon: As I've said, I don't mind people sponsoring games. TV Guide, for instance, with their games. But you can't make it feel like you're watching a 3 hour commercial. And between the 20+ times we've heard it on the Game Show Awards and the 69+ times we heard it on Big Saturday Night, yes, I think we know what an Oodle is.
Chico: Oodle. Oodle oodle oodle. Banoodle.
Gordon: I think they stole it from your Deal or No Deal Banoodle reference.
Chico: Heh.
Gordon: I mean you use it for Deal or No Deal, and the show is now on the network...
Chico: Hmm.. True. But that's only after watching Aussie Rules Deal or No Deal. Not outside the realm of possibility. Oodle. :-)
Gordon: And before we conclude with this review, let me state that you had some Whammies getting into some of the technical production aspect, sticking in commercials and game questions where they don't belong.
Chico: True. But we had other shows besides Big Saturday Night. Let's get to the stars of the lineup... the games!
Gordon: Games? You mean we had games?
Chico: Oh yeah, we had games. Two games. Both of them watchable. Both of them... big. The first one was 20Q, which involved a malevolent omniscience developing from a computer program that is now bent on taking over the world through trivia...I am not making this up. Luckily, all he wants to do is play a game. So he does.
Gordon: That's good. We already have the Ken Jennings Robomatic inhabiting this Earth.
Chico: And the chick from So You Think You Can Dance is there to keep him in line.
Gordon: That would be Cat Deeley.
Chico: Right. The game plays like this...six people are chosen to play the game based on six tossups, three at a time. Then the two groups of three play the game with the computer... Mr. Q. They feed him questions, he gives answers, and whoever guesses what Mr. Q is thinking will go on to the semifinal round. We repeat with the second group of three, until there are two finalists. They will face off in a time-attack (only it's with clues, not time), and the person who solves the puzzle in less clues faces off against Mr. Q for $20,000.
Gordon: Now let's start with the good.
Chico: Now, the good parts... Cat Deeley...for all the grief I gave her during her weeklong stint in the Millionaire hot seat...she's very very good on this show! I mean, she's just dead on the money there.
Gordon: She is, and there's some good reasons why. She made a number of noticeable improvements on this show from when she stinted on Millionaire. I won't go that far with dead on the money, but she is improved. Her pacing is MUCH better.
Chico: Yes she did. Truth be told though, this is a lot lighter than Millionaire. So the host is the shining spot. Also, the game is solid. It's ... It's Inside the Box basically. It's about as simple as that and it works about as simple as that.
Gordon: It is, but it's expanded. The concept is solid. There's some nice playability to the show.
Chico: Very nice, and good to play along with as well. I know you like that. You like to watch, but you like to play even more.
Gordon: It's fun. I'll also give some props to 20Q - which would be Hal Sparks.
Chico: You liked Hal Sparks? Actually, I wouldn't be surprised, because he reminded me of a computerized version of you.
Gordon: :D
Chico: Tee hee.
Gordon: Not all of his jokes was a hit, but it's a lot of material he had to throw up there, and I thought for a first show, he did a very good job.
Chico: It was alright. I mean, he wasn't there all the time, but when he was, he was solid. Example: He whittled the answer down to 66 choices... Best line of the night. "I'm on Route 66 and I'm heading for the answer." That was clever.
Gordon: He was clever. Not everything about the show was as good though, as we get to The Bad. Care to add to it?
Chico: Of course. My main qualm with the show...the pacing. It's slow. It's a slow pacing moving slowly with the slowness.
Gordon: Yes. Very very slow. You could have fit in much more game in there. Did you like the recycled theme music? And the recycled special effects?
Chico: Yes I did, actually. I wonder if David Vanacore is receiving royalties. I liked 1 vs. 100. Slow.
Gordon: It was just as slow as 1 Vs. 100.
Chico: GSN stretched that game so much it had stretch marks. But the good news is that... and I think this is either an act of Endemol taking charge of their own future or probably the most brilliant GSN PR move ever. For all the crap we were expecting given the pilot, the show itself is actually better than we originally were to give it credit for. I mean, we were just about to write it off.
Gordon: It's definitely better than what I thought it was going to be and, for all intents and purposes, as good as it should be. I'm one of the sort-of converted. The game concept is a good one, but the pacing of the show stops me from giving it high marks. Kudos to Cat and Hal, who are much better than thought, but the main problems lie in the pacing, and I don't know how they are going to pick that up.
Chico: It's slow.
Gordon: Because to fix that, they are going to have to reshape the rules of the game.
Chico: Slow. Slowy McSlowpants. Okay, you get it.
Gordon: So unfortunately, it's not going to be something they can change.
Chico: It's good as it should be, and probably better off at that right now.
Gordon: Something else I didn't like about the game, and this to me is a much greater sin, the play in the 3 semi-finalists.
Chico: Explain.
Gordon: Now in the game play, you have 2 choices to ask Mr Q.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: If you get a no, you lose your turn.
Chico: Oh yeah. Never mind that sometimes you need to hear a no to discern the answer.
Gordon: Right. Now according to Cat, you may get a pair of Nos as your choices, which means that you could only be one and done, regardless.
Chico: Could be.
Gordon: So there's no way you can run the board, which in essence, gives an unfair advantage to the people playing down the podium and a major disadvantage in the game to whoever is playing podium #1.
Chico: So you probably want to be the last one to get the tossup.
Gordon: Exactly. But that's not exactly fair to anyone. Now let's go to the bonus round. It's man vs. Machine.
Chico: Which is essentially the same as the semi, only you're racing against the computer. Whoever gets the answer first... wins.
Gordon: Complete with thinking of the contestant, to pad more time.
Chico: Slow. Anyway, you're going off of a hunch, and you really have only one shot at it.
Gordon: Our contestant John guesses Polar Bear. John...is right, for $20,000.
Gordon: John takes off with $20,000. Any relations between him and Bingo $100,000 winner John Hanlin?
Chico: Nah. Hanlin's not nearly as British.
Gordon: Or as loopy.
Chico: Looks kinda like Wil Wheaton, actually. Now will other people have similar luck on their side? Because it's a hunch versus a computer's statistics.
Gordon: I think people will. I think more people will guess and get it wrong though.
Chico: So 20Q... with a few scrapes and bruises... is not terrible. But would you say the same about the Money List?
Gordon: Tell us about The Money List.
Chico: Rewind, if you will, a few years back, three I believe, and Fox has a show called the Rich List. Based on a British show that hadn't even aired yet... the next day, it was GONE. No more, goodbye, sayonara.
Gordon: And because...it sucked.
Chico: Fast forward to today, and the show has newer life as The Money List. The game itself remains the same... albeit faster and a little less tense in parts where it need not be tense.
Gordon: And a new host. Eamonn Holmes...out. Fred Roggin...in.
Chico: And we learn that Fred Roggin's f'in awesome eye that is on GSN Live... is real. That's just crazy.
Gordon: He's got crazy eyes! Aah!
Chico: Crazier eyes than you! :-) Crazier eyes than ME!
Gordon: My eyes aren't crazy. :P
Chico: Your eyes are crazy, don't lie. But the show itself ... looking at the past show, and this show... it is MARKEDLY faster. Seems like the folks at 12-yard went back and did their homework. Reworking some things, saving time... by not wasting time. No needless break throws, etc.
Gordon: The good. It's MUCH faster. The pacing is much better here than in 20Q. There's also more show to go on. If you think about it, there's a major reason for it. How many full games did they put in?
Chico: 20Q, one game.
Gordon: If you change the format a little, you could have 2 games in there.
Chico: Fred Roggin... knows how to move the game along. He survives a threat of a beatdown and doesn't miss a beat.
Gordon: Not only that, but he's a very good definition of the conduit.
Chico: Very much so.
Gordon: Like Cat, he's also a lot better of a host than I thought he would be.
Chico: You give that to the folks who did this for two or so years, taking what worked and what didn't, and going from there. It's faster without feeling rushed. Which begs the question... WHY DIDN'T FOX DO THIS THE FIRST TIME!
Gordon: Unlike other shows that we've scathed over the years, they have done their homework. I also like the trash-talking element between the groups.
Chico: Especially during the round, and you'll see this in a moment, because you're watching the tape live... Scrabble letters worth more than 1 point. Very creative use of the list items. And that brings us to point #2... Playalong. This was always a strength of the format. And Fred does a justice to the viewer by mentioning that strength, that we're shouting out answers to the screen.
Gordon: Very true.
Chico: Also doing a justice to the viewer by not publishing the entire list, like Fox did, the entire list is available at GSN.com/moneylist if you care to look at it. Again, saving you time... by not wasting your time. Point #3... this is actually a first for GSN... returning champions! We have a winner to root for... or if you're like Gordon... Against.
Gordon: Yay! Win all you can. We'll keep making more. That's the only thing I liked in the original Rich List
Chico: Anything that you care to add, good or bad? Because the only thing bad I can think is that the game is still deceptively WAY TOO SIMPLE for the stakes they're up against.
Gordon: Oh no. I have plenty of bad :)
Chico: Present, sir.
Gordon: #1. It's the same show. If you liked the FOX version, you'll like this. However, if you don't like the show (like most of America), you won't like this. It's nothing new on the table.
Chico: So Improved, but not new.
Gordon: #2. The pacing near the end is still awful when it doesn't need to be. When we have 5 choices left, the pace slows down to a snail's pace. It only needs to stop near the end, not the halfway mark.
Chico: Dramatic effect. But still a lot faster than it was on Fox, especially given that they don't break for a commercial.
Gordon: Yes, but it's not supposed to be 'better than'. It's supposed to be 'good'. We're not at 'good'.
Chico: I didn't have much of a problem with it.
Gordon: I did, because Fred got us stalling out at 8 on a 15. Granted a stall there if the team got it wrong is acceptable, but not when they have it right and it's a false ending there. You should have more interplay between the teams and less on fake pressure.
Chico: Really. I didn't think it was as bad. Now there was a lot of interplay in game 2.
Gordon: Agreed, but when Fred's talking to the other team, it gave Spencer and Judith a chance to regroup, though I don't think they really emphasize time limits on the show.
Chico: They can't afford to. Remember last week's GSA?
Gordon: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzwha?
Chico: Sorry, I know you were trying to sleep last week away, but it happened. Okay, we're running low on Opening Round. Let's get to the grades... First... 20Q. Gordon?

	BIG SATURDAY NIGHT - GSN
		GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	20Q	C	C+	C+
	MONEY LIST	C-	B+	B-
	OVERALL	D	D+	D+

Gordon: C. Decent show. not terrible, has some flaws (like the pacing) that it can't fix.
Chico: What's the third letter of the alphabet?
Gordon: C
Chico: What's the first letter in Ms. Deeley's first name?
Gordon: C
Chico: Umm... what's the Spanish word for yes?
Gordon: Si
Chico: What's the grade I'm going to give it?
Gordon: I'm guessing a C?
Chico: C! And if you put a little plus there... it looks like a Q. So C+ for me. Next, The Money List...I'm going B+... Marked improvement. Can only get better. And at least we know that it'll be on next week :-)
Gordon: Maybe ;)
Chico: Heh.
Gordon: I don't like the concept. I hate the pacing, which has to be slow, because if you have 2 quick lists, you''re going to be doing a lot of tap dancing. And don't get me started on the pacing in the bonus round.
Chico: We haven't seen what would happen with 2 quick rounds.
Gordon: I'm guessing bad things, which is why it's getting a C- from me. I'm expecting the hate mail to flow in shortly.
Chico: That's Gordon@gameshownewsnet.com.
Gordon: I can't wait :P
Chico: And finally... the whole of Big Saturday Night. I stand by my original assessment, that it's like SNL meets Sabado Gigante and has the kind of relations that you only see in goat porn. D+
Gordon: This actually has an option for improvement. The comedy sketches are cute (or at least wasn't cringing). You do have a talent with Mr. Keegan. The games are offsets of successful games, so they work, for the most part. That being said - there's a ton of errors here. The technical has problems. It's the easiest $10,000 to win on TV. It's way too informercially here. And Ross needs to be delegated to co-host instead of main host.
Chico: Ross needs to be delegated to a concrete box. He'd probably crack it with his screeching, but... what the hell.
Gordon: So yes, it does have potential to be a permanent staple on GSN. Unfortunately, we don't grade on potential. We grade on what we see. D.
Chico: And what we saw... we didn't much enjoy.
Gordon: Basically, it's something that I'd watch on a Saturday night if I had nothing else to do or was stuck in the middle of a monsoon.
Chico: But what did you think? We want to know what you thought about the night.. the shows... anything. Go ahead and mail us at wlti@gameshownewsnet.com, with the subject line "Big Saturday Night"... we'll put the best responses on the air on a future show. But if I had the choice, I'd watch the reruns. They're an hour, and they're Ross-free. :-)
Gordon: You sure about Ross free?
Chico: At least I hope so. The SUNDAY reruns, folks.
Gordon: Sound like a plan. Now what about celebrities? Can we see them on the Sunday Reruns?
Chico: No, but we can make fun of them all day long.



Gordon: What's on the docket this week?
Chico: This was a rather uneventful week on I'm a Media Ho, Get Me Out of Here. With Spencer and Heidi... quitting... again... for reals this time... in a hospital...and their replacements... Daniel Baldwin and Holly Montag, from a little show called "The Hills". Unlike her ungrateful little sister, she came in and got right to work.
Gordon: Holly is a good busy worker bee.
Chico: Yep. Nothing to make fun of there.
Gordon: Unlike the other half of Frangela, who quit along with Speidi.
Chico: But we have an interesting little bit. Frances, whose partner Angela was voted off last week, Quit. Her rationale: "You don't break up Laurel and Hardy"... or something.
Gordon: I'm guessing she saw the writing on the wall and figured that being tormented for a few more weeks wasn't worth the fact that she wasn't going to win.
Chico: Nope. At least she knew when to say when, though. And at least she's not going to grab attention for that either.
Gordon: Yeah, but it could have been interesting.
Chico: Yeah, that's true. Oh well. So what happens next?
Gordon: We're stuck watching this dreck for a few more weeks.
Chico: Two, actually.
Gordon: 2 weeks too long
Chico: But here's what went down this week. As soon as Daniel Baldwin came in... he came out. Oh well. So much for that :-) I guess those lesser Baldwins don't make for compelling TV.
Gordon: I don't think any of them do. Now Shaun Robinson, on the other hand, makes compelling TV - for the wrong reasons.
Chico: Yep. Tell us what happened on Millionaire, G.
Gordon: She is where Cat Deeley was. She may wind up being where she is, but like Cat, she has some work to do. Big Bored, please?
Chico: Got it.

Gordon: The Subject: Game Show Host Training School.
Chico: with Professor Gordon.
Gordon: Thank you. Let's go to the most egregious violation here, and this seems to be a common theme this evening. 1. PACING. Not only was she slow, but she gave the contestant a whopping 5 seconds to answer the question.
Chico: And that was going generous. I remember one time on the $500 question, the player activated the ATA lifeline, and Shaun read the question SO SLOW...
Gordon: HOW SLOW WAS SHE?
Chico: when the time was allowed to restart, she had one second to _____. And by that, I mean to answer the question
Gordon: Yeah. Not good. #2. Know your role. What is the role of a game show host?
Chico: Conduit.
Gordon: Yes. We asked this question before on the show. No, you can not win any oodles if you get it correct.
Chico: Oodles.
Gordon: You like the sound of that, don't you?
Chico: Why yes. Yes I do. Oodleoodleoodle, oodle. So we covered the slow host moving slowly with the slowness...We covered the conduit aspect.
Gordon: Ok. The problem here is that the show is not her, and she didn't conduit to the contestant. #3. No connection to the contestant or the audience.
Chico: She's just not warm enough. Meredith was warm. She wanted the contestant to win. Seems to me that Shaun was just there to pick up a check and leave.
Gordon: That's what it felt like, too. You need to get the contestant's faith, not just host by the numbers.
Chico: There you go. That can't be taught, you know.
Gordon: It comes with experience. Now Shaun Robinson is rather new at the game, so there's plenty of time for her to learn.
Chico: Yeah, but I think she's right at home where she is now... Access Hollywood, as far from my set as possible.
Gordon: Do you have a bias against Access Hollywood?
Chico: Well, infotainment shows in general.
Gordon: Let's look into Chico's psyche. Who else has been on Access Hollywood....Oh yes! Billy Bush!
Chico: Helmet on! Wall, here it come! *runs into wall*'... I'm okay.
Gordon: I will mention, to not be completely evil, is that Nancy O Dell was also a correspondent, and she was very good on Nashville Star
Chico: Yes she was.
Gordon: But I think Billy Bush is more evil than Nancy O'Dell was good.
Chico: Agreed. Still though, the trio of Al Roker, Tom Bergeron and Tim Vincent... yet to be touched.
Gordon: Our opinions differ there, but that's for another show.
Chico: And now for something... completely different... Top Chef Masters! It's the game of Top Chef... with the best of the best... OF the best.
Gordon: Well.,...sort of. I hate to say this, but I was disappointed with this.
Chico: Do tell. Now I see some of the players... and a lot of them look familiar. Iron Chef mostly.
Gordon: For starters, the only thing that has returned from Top Chef is the name. No Padma. No Tom Colicchio. We get Kelly Choi instead. Now she's very capable, but she's not Padma.
Chico: Now Kelly Choi knows her stuff. She's a foodie herself. The onus is on you to do as good if not better than the original, and Kelly, for what I saw... didn't. But then again, the show isn't about her. It's about these star chefs. Still, I understand where you come from, that that's not an excuse.
Gordon: Yeah, but it didn't feel like Top Chef. It felt more like Chopped or as you said earlier, Iron Chef, with 4 chefs making food and the judges determining a winner.
Chico: That's basically what it is. We have six heats of four chefs each, then they go on and play the game.
Gordon: But that's not Top Chef.
Chico: No it's something else entirely.
Gordon: This is Top Chef lite. I would have rather seen 12 Masters play Top Chef.
Chico: It's like the Joker's Wild 1990. It wasn't bad... it just wasn't The Joker's Wild. Top Chef Masters isn't bad... it's just not the Top Chef you and I are used to.
Gordon: Or Temptation, for that matter. I mean don't get me wrong. The show is a fun show and if you're a foodie, you will enjoy it. But it's not a Top Chef in the Top Chef format.
Chico: I enjoyed it.
Gordon: BTW, in case you didn't see it, Hubert Keller wins the heat by winning both the Quickfire and The Elimination challenges.
Chico: The other three chefs: Michael Schlow, Tim Love, and Christopher Lee... weren't even close.
Gordon: The fact that he was a previous judge in the Top Chef series doesn't hurt, since he knows what to expect. I would have liked to have seen more Top Chefs. Would it have hurt to see a Tom Colicchio scowl or a sneer from Gail Simmons?
Chico: Nope, not really. Then again, I've only seen one season of Tom and Gail.

	TOP CHEF MASTERS - Bravo
	CHICO	GORDON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B	B-	B

Gordon: So yeah. I like the show, but it shouldn't be helming the Top Chef moniker. B-.
Chico: But according to Wikipedia, Gail will feature in this season.
Gordon: If you don't have Top Chef crew, it shouldn't be called Top Chef. And no, Tom Collichio in cutaways does not count as an appearance.
Chico: I'm going to go B. It's a nice little changeup, I think... and it'll make for a nice, tight competition.
Gordon: But that's the point. it's light and it's a placeholder for Top Chef 6.
Chico: You can't wait for that, can' you?
Gordon: Nope. Drooooooool.
Chico: Mop that up, we still have one more show to look at. Gordon, you're over 35, right?
Gordon: Yes I am.
Chico: So you can appreciate... a woman of a certain age.
Gordon: I can appreciate women of any age :)
Chico: Ha. Well, TV Land can appreciate women of a certain age (as can we) with a new season of She's Got the Look.
Gordon: But can you appreciate the show?
Chico: Well, nothing's really changed from what made it work in season 1, so... yeah. Now the oldest player we have here... you're not going to believe this... 72.
Gordon: And I'll tell you something. I think that it's amazing that she's out there competing. Good on her.
Chico: So a nice positive show... gets the break it so rightly deserves.
Gordon: Well...sort of. Nothing changes. That's the good news. That's also the bad news, because I know we were talking about incorporating more challenges of what the models can do, and instead we get the models saying what they can't do.
Chico: I'm guessing that'll change as they become more sure of themselves, if season 1 is any indication. That'll be something to look out for.
Gordon: True. And I did like it. But I want the emphasis on more of their talents. These are strong, beautiful women. Let's see what they can do.
Chico: Well see what they can do later on. Can't start with the big guns first. Meanwhile, the hams are still perturbed that GSN took their bit.
Gordon: Yeah. I noticed that. No, Gordon Jr., you can't send them the remaining moldy moon cheese. And Cheeseball, I'm not reading what you wrote on the cue cards. We'd be sued for that.
Chico: What the...Cheeseball... YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!
Gordon: I'm going to go off the board and say 'Roll The Beautiful Brain Footage' instead.
Chico: Alrighty.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thank you. First up, G?
Gordon: First up - it's Date Book time.
Chico: Yay.

And a lot of it on the docket. We start with an Asian flavor. Silent Library showed up on Monday, followed by I Survived a Japanese Game Show on Wednesday. In between is the new version of The Singing Bee.

Chico: That's after the CMT awards. Regular eps air Saturdays. Now since you mentioned Chopped earlier in the broadcast, a new season previews Sunday with runs on Tuesday.

And this weekend, it's Cartoon Network's Brain Rush and Destroy Build Destroy, along with CMT's Can You Duet

Chico: Good stuff.
Gordon: Sure is. Our docket will be full of new stuff to give you guys next week.
Chico: Oh yeah. Lots of stuff next week... and a little down the pike as well. Give me the green light...I'm ready to go right now...

Dancing With the Stars had celebs flaunting their elegance and grace with the various classical styles of hoofing... "Let's Dance", a new show picked up by ABC for airing between fall and spring editions... will have none of that. Instead, we're playing it strictly for laughs...And that worked so well the last time, too.

Gordon: How did Dance War do it for you, Chico?
Chico: Well, it put Drew Lachey on the map. Other than that... no, didn't do anything for me... Hey Gordon... did Dance Machine do anything for ya?
Gordon: It moved my bowels.
Chico: Niiice.
Gordon: Hey, you asked.
Chico: Heh. True.
Gordon: Seriously, a note to TV execs. Just because a dance show worked does NOT mean you need a companion show to put on while the hit show is cooling off. Dance War did for DWTS like The Next Great American Band did for FOX. All a bad branding does it hurt your other quality product.
Chico: True. You're better off trying something new, fresh, different... and if it works... another ace in the hole. Look at Deal or No Deal...
Gordon: We could write a book on how not to program.
Chico: We could. Instead, we do this. Speaking of, what's next?
Gordon: Originiality works. Tired, lazy 'well it worked here, the public will love something dilted' doesn't.
Chico: And cardinal rule... if it didn't work twice, it won't work three times. You go to plan B, you don't do plan A all over again and hope for a better result.
Gordon: Yes. And sometime it's back to the drawing board - or in this case, a Blackboard.

Are YOU Smarter than...Andrea Rivera, who sent Hans to traction.

Gordon: Would you like to play some Cliffhangers. Chico?
Chico: Yes I would.
Gordon: We start with a Chocolate Milk Mixer. how much for the mixer?
Chico: $20.
Gordon: It's $16, so Hans only moves 4 spots. Next up, a sewing kit. Your bid, sir?
Chico: $33.
Gordon: Correct price...$24. You're off $9. Andrea guesses...$6.
Chico: No, we're not kidding.
Gordon: I don't know where you buy your sewing kits, but I'd like to go to where she's shopping.
Chico: IKEA. :-)
Gordon: Chico has a spread of $12. Andrea has a spread of...$1. Finally, it's a peanut butter maker.
Chico: I figure gas to Charlotte into the price $40.
Gordon: it IS $40! You win!
Chico: YAY!
Gordon: Andrea says...$35 and Hans gets a cameo in Harper's Island as a corpse.
Chico: Bum bum ba bum... waaaaaaaah. icanseemyhousefromhere
Gordon: BTW, this week's win percentage on TPIR: 26.7%. Not good. 8-20-2
Chico: Icky. With about 11 shows left in the season.
Gordon: Hans goes flying...maybe into a vat of Haterade.
Chico: Save some for me.

We know why Stephen Baldwin is on I'm A Celebrity. Now he may have to live there- permanently. He's defaulted on more than $824,000 in payments on his house mortgage and it's about to be publicly auctioned. HGTV's next challenge maay be to build a new house for him and other unemployed actors in trouble. Recession sucks.

Chico: So does cancellation. Enter... Sir August of Zombington.



Chris Tarrant's great side project, "The Color of Money", is fading to black.

Gordon: Aw
Chico: The good news... a new season of Millionaire is about to start up with Ask Jeeves as its sponsor.
Gordon: That's good. Ask Jeeves, of course, to be competing with Google. Maybe they could do 'Ask Jeeves' as a Lifeline.
Chico: possibly
Gordon: it would be chic. Do it.
Chico: Yep. Meanwhile, we trek to Vietnam...

... where the big hit game show is "Vitamin"... a show that quizzes players on health issues.

Gordon: That could be fun.
Chico: Sure could. The show provides audiences with knowledge on disease, how to avoid it, and how to have a good lifestyle. Entertaining... Educating... Edutaining...
Gordon: ...Media Hoes doesn't start with E.
Chico: No but it starts with a couch this week.
Gordon: Couch me.

If you're in the Indianapolis area (Hi, Chris L!), head to the Junior Achievement Center on June 17 from 7 to 11 local time to try out for Millionaire.

Chico: If you'd rather open up Samsonites....

Go to endemolusa.tv/casting for details on how to become part of season 2 of Deal or NO Deal. Remember, they're taping in Connecticut now.

Gordon: They need a lot of people. Chances are, they need you, too.
Chico: Give'em a ring. We'd love to see you ... on TV.
Gordon: Sure would. Just like these guys are...
Chico: And now... (plays "Pimpin' All Over the World")

In this week's Media Ho Report, Drew Carey is hyping up soccer in Seattle, Allison Iraheta signs a music agreement (though Danny Gokey hasn't yet), Adam Lambert FINALLY comes out of the closet in the world's worst kept secret...Bob Barker wants a bear exhibit to be shut down, Emme hosts More To Love, Layla Kayleigh is pregnant...

Chico: *baby crying*

Betty White will be in The Proposal, our friend Scott Hostetler has a book coming out (which we'll be pitching massively once it becomes available), and Mark Bouris plays the role of the Aussie Apprentice.

Gordon: But None of them are your Hoes of the week.
Chico: I was going to guess Adam Lambert, but...
Gordon: Nope. The Hoes are...The Screen Actors Guild, which FINALLY signed a new deal and avoided an actor's strike in the process.
Chico: And there was peace in our lifetime.
Gordon: That's the good news. The bad news - they took a shorter deal so they can have it expire in 2011 - at the same time that the Writer and Director guilds contracts expire.
Chico: So we could be headed back into a perfect storm in a couple of years
Gordon: And now it would be a perfect storm - because all 3 expire at the same time (which didn't happen in 2008)
Chico: Just remember the strike of 2008...We DO NOT WANT A REPRISE
Gordon: No, but let's get loaded to celebrate.
Chico: Hic

The Money List... which Gordon will NEVER like ... =p

Gordon: I won't. Deal with it.

... is going online. To play for cash, go to GSN.com or Worldwinner.com. Meanwhile, if you'd rather "Dance Your Ass Off" for tickets to the finale, look up "Dance Your Ass Off" on YouTube.

Chico: It's simple. Four little words :-)
Gordon: Boo
Chico: And here are four more... Brainvision done. Clear down.
Gordon: (shutting down)
Gordon: When we come back, we finish happy toilet time, but first, we go with 20 questions with a Wheel of Fortune Winner.
Chico: Because you can't have a 20Q themed show without 20 Questions. This is We Love to Interrupt. You give us 20 questions, we'll give you a world-shaped computer matrix... that likes to crack wise.

(Brainvision has been brought to you by Paris Hilton's My BFFASWUNS. Paris is looking for a 'Best Friend For a Short While Until The Next Season'. Anyone want in?)

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