Episode 27.19 - Rock You Like a Hurricane
August 29

Jason: Its on my Ipod.
Chico: Secret track: "Like a B-6" the will.i.am remix... because Gordon knows a guy. :-)
Gordon: I've got connections. I also have jokes that need punchlines. So let's see what our Zingers are. Ready?
Jason: Sure.
Chico: Let's go!
Gordon: We start with this...

Guy Fieri will be hosting an episode of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives in Vancouver.

Jason: And he will be looking for the best poutine :)
Chico: Because what do you do when you've eaten your way through America? Go to Canada before Ludo Lefebvre takes a bite out of it.
Gordon: If he would have shot the show during the NHL Finals, he could have called it Rioters, Drive Bys and Dive for Cover.
Jason: That wins.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next one...

Vienna Girardi wants to marry Kasey Kahl... but first she wants to get engaged to him.

Jason: If you call screwing him and leaving him an engagement?
Gordon: I think all Kasey needs to do is to get to nose her better.
Jason: (rimshot)
Chico: She's waiting for the right time... like for when Jake stops looking at her like that.
Jason: Scary.
Chico: "Kiss Me, Then Kill Me" plays in the background... that even a song?
Jason: Maybe
Gordon: Next one...

Coach is one of the contestants on this year's Survivor

Jason: Because his motivational speaking tour is going SO well.
Chico: ... He has to coach something.
Gordon: When he's done with the show, he can help Next Gingrich's election campaign
Chico: ... Really?
Gordon: As a Democrat, I 100% endorse Coach working for the Republicans.
Jason: Of course you do :)
Chico: Next week, why Jason thinks that's a bad idea. Next one!

Japanese game show host Shinsuke Shimada has been revealed to be a little too close to mobsters, and now his shows have been pulled.

Jason: He has been fed as the ingredient in the newest Iron Chef Japan special :)
Chico: Speaking of special... a rare clip of the Japanese version of WLTI...
Gordon: The next Expedition Impossible Stunt: Trying to find his body in the cavern of Mt. Fuji.
Jason: Win.
Chico: (Chico wearing a hachimaki) hai! NEXT QUESTION!
Gordon: Next one.

George Lopez will be showing up on a Price is Right episode.

Chico: ... Not like he's doing anything else these days.
Jason: He needs a job to make that alimony money....dude SHE GAVE YOU HER KIDNEY.
Gordon: He'll be showing up with Rich Fields, Pat Sajak and Arsenio Hall in a Washed Up TV Host Showcase.
Jason: BURN
Chico: OH!

The winner of "The Glee Project"... EVERYONE!

Jason: The losers...the viewers of Glee who have to watch them.
Gordon: The Lifetime Execs are also winning Glee - because they can now fill their networks with something else.
Chico: And Ryan Murphy soars majestically... over a shark.
Gordon: And that ends our Zingers. We'll give Chico a papaya husk - next!
Chico: Word.
Jason: WHOO HOO

(Brought to you by Dancing with the Lions. Because after this season's celebs are revealed in our new amphitheatre in the round, you're going to want some carnivorous animal in the mix to make things interesting)

Jason: Not looking good from the rumors.
Chico: Let me guess, a model, her husband, the guy she's currently shagging and a former Power Ranger. ... No that's the current Australian cast. MY BAD! The sad bit... three of these four are actually true.
Jason: WOW!
Chico: But enough about that. Welcome back to the show. Thanks for being a part of our week and allowing us to be a part of yours... and now...(puts on papaya hat... and a bowtie)... The doctor will see you now!
Gordon: Yes, and I think Jason has the first email.
Jason: I do?...Oh yeah I do!

Dear Dr. Chico:

My summer vacation was pretty rough as this woman invaded my hotel room and made me blow out my leg. I mean I am pretty spry for my age, but this was a little taxing. Should I be looking up retirement homes yet?

Signed, Alex in LA

Chico: Dear Alex in LA... I'm not THAT kind of doctor. But if you ask me, you have many a year remaining on you, and with this recent episode, your badass rating has gone through the roof in my opinion.
Jason: Gordon, do you have an email?
Gordon: I do, actually. Would you like to hear it?
Chico: I would.
Jason: Sure.
Gordon: Here we go...

Dear Dr. Chico:

We did pretty damn good on Expedition; Impossible. What are our chances on The Amazing Race?

Signed, The Fab 3.

Chico: Well, first of all, what you have to do is get rid of the weak link. Kari. That's right. I said it. Now that you've gotten rid of the weak link, you can concentrate on the tasks at hand (and there will be many of them). You have it in you to win. That's a given. Now you have to beat 10 more. And I promise you if you can outlast Expedition Impossible, you can do anything. But first, it starts with getting rid of your teammate. Kari. The woman. With the boobs.
Jason: This email just came in Dr. Chico!
Chico: Yes?

Dear Dr. Chico::

Do we have a chance to win AGT?

Signed, Team Iluminate

Chico: Yes. Yes you do. There's just a few things holding you back... namely... You holding back. You can't do that again. You have to go all out. I know you have it in you. The lights will only gets you so far. Now it's about the act.
Gordon: I thought the video game stunt was a lot of fun, myself. My issue is it's not a mainstream act that America (read: Your Voters) can get into. I think they need to pull a page out of the Silhouetes book.
Chico: Me too. It's Silhouettes vs. iLuminate.
Gordon: Don't leave out Miami All-Stars.
Chico: Not leaving out Miami All-Stars.
Gordon: I have the next email.

Dear Dr. Chico:

I've got a new gig on the Weather Channel. How can I get eyeballs to watch me there?

Signed, Former Apprentice Winner who rocks.

Chico: Dear FAWWR...Do us all a favor. Get out. This will only end in poison for EVERYONE involved. And besides... aren't you on TV enough? Shouldn't you go out and rock some more? I mean, what do you know about storm fronts and tropical systems and Stephanie Abrams anyway?
Gordon: I hear she can be a whirlwind.
Chico: Oh baby. Oh and avoid that Jim Cantore guy. Trouble usually follows him. Just saying. Next one?
Jason: Next one.

Dear Dr Chico (whose spot was taken by me anyway):

So what will it take for me to follow in Boston Rob's Footsteps?

Signed, Dragonslayer

Chico: First of all, you have to lose that whole dragonslayer bushido code nonsense. Rob got to where he was by playing the heel to the ... well, heel. That was odd. Anyway, you have to lose that whole winning-with-honor mentality and just go for the deal. You know, use people for as long as they're worth using, then cut them loose, in as a spectacular a way as possible. That's how Boston Rob does it... That's how America does it... and it's worked out well so far.
Gordon: It does. Last email...and Hey! I have it.
Chico: Oh no.
Gordon: Oh no?
Chico: I usually know what's coming, and it usually ends in... "I'm going golfing".
Gordon: Don't say Oh No to your fans.
Chico: ...fine. Let's hear it.

Dear Dr Chico:

Because of what happened to poor Jamal and his restaurant, I'm going to help him with his new business capital venture and help him with some real fast food. Could you like my plates?

Signed: Vienna's Sausages and Southern Cooking.

Chico: ... I'm going golfing!
Gordon: I think you should taste her wares.
Jason: Everyone else has :)
Chico: OH!
Gordon: And we'll end this one after the break.

(Brought to you by Hell's Supermarket. How long can you keep the bread aisle stocked when there's a storm coming? Here's a hint, if you have to read this sentence, you're already too late. Give me your apron and **** off outta here!)

Gordon: Nice. But in all seriousness, if you find you overstocked after the storm, please give your goods to the Red Cross for people who will need it more than you will. So before I go out and get supplies, Let's have a Speed Round...NOW!
Chico: Porsche's in the HOH seat. Who goes home?
Gordon: In a surprise, because Rachel and Jordan will win the veto, Shelly.
Jason: I agree totally.
Chico: Yep. She can go play both sides of the jury. Hell's Kitchen is down to six. Who makes it five?
Gordon: This is usually where the person who sucks finally leaves. That would be Elise.
Chico: Sounds good to me. AGT: Give me one finalist this week.
Gordon: Landau Eugene Murphy Jr.
Chico: Silhouettes.
Jason: Graceman
Gordon: WHat do we got on the GSNN tote board?
Chico: ... nothing.
Gordon: Aw. But you can change that if you go to Facebook or email us at WLTI@gamsehownewsnet.com
Chico: We'll even post last week's question one more time...

What is the dumbest move in reality competition history?

A. Lawon B. Marcellas not taking himself off the block and getting punted C. James being booted with 2 immunity idols on Survivor D. Erik GIVING his immunity idol up and getting booted E. million Dollar pee break for Jen and Lakisha. F. Other

Chico: Best answers next time. Also next time, we play with larger-than-life game pieces and ask 5 good questions about them.
Gordon: Special thanks to Jason Block for joining us on this hurricaney day
Jason: Be safe everyone
Gordon: So that happens next week. For Chico and Jason, this is Gordon, saying Game Over and Spread the Love.