Episode 27.10 - The Big Brother Revolutions
August 8

Chico: Hey, I'm Chico Alexander... and I feel like a revolution.
Gordon: You don't look like a Beatles album.
Joe: Will there be much dance dancing?
Jason: I bet
Chico: The kind that says American Idols and Top Models dancing with the Real Housewives won't be so damned relevant...Because newbies will be in the house marching toward a better day.
Gordon: (Plays Les Miserables CD)
Jason: LOL
Chico: Because the revolution will not be televised. The revolution... will be live. On Thursday. On CBS.
Gordon: Would you settle for this week's revolution being read on the internet?
Chico: ... Okay, I can dig that.
Gordon: Good, because from somewhere in the Big Brother Mime Den, This week's edition of WLTI...is...ON!
Jason: WOOT!
Gordon: Gordon and Chico here, along with this week's special guests. First of all, from NYC, where they just had a revolution, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: Always good to be here.
Gordon: And from PA, where the AFC Central is always revolting, Mr. Joe Mello.
Joe: Sup? Batman says hi, btw.
Chico: Hi, Batman. Got a lot to cover this week, including two premieres, but first...
Gordon: The revolution of the All-Stars has begun!



Chico: So here's the deal... Brendon was eliminated by the new group of inmates, and then not soon after, Kalia was put in the power position. So for the second week in a row, the vets are scrambling. This week's targets? Jeff & Rachel. One's a very strong, very versatile player. The other... is Rachel.
Jason: BUT WAIT...There's a twist
Chico: We like twists.
Jason: The twist is that Jeff or Rachel or whoever is knocked out this week have a chance to get back in the game! They will compete against either Keith, Cassi, Dominic or Brendan in America's Vote!
Joe: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN
Jason: Who do you think will get America's Vote?
Chico: I'm thinking about the twist, and seriously... would you want to see ANY OF THESE PEOPLE come back?
Jason: No. But Dominic might get back in I think
Chico: Let's go over this one more time. Dominic sucks at this game. Cassi is not a gamer at all. Keith is too much of a gamer. Brendon... well, he's too myopic.
Gordon: I think Brendan or Jeff (should he be booted this week) is getting back in.
Chico: Because that's who America is going to go for, the familiar faces. The people who've played this game before and know how.
Jason: Nope. It's Dominic. People do NOT want to see Brendan again
Gordon: i disagree.
Jason: Dominic is the victim and Brendan is part of HER.
Gordon: This is the same America that voted on Evil Dick to win the $500,000. They'll put Brandon or this week's veteran loser back in,.
Jason: The vote is to have one of the four I mentioned compete against the evictee. The vote will happen before the eviction
Chico: Brendon went bye bye... He ain't coming back. America won't allow it. I have faith in this.
Gordon: I'll laugh at both of you next week when I'm right. That, plus the fact that in terms of voting competition, I have zero faith in America.
Chico: An excellent segue by the way.



Chico: The Round of 48 is... well, it's over, but it isn't over. We went through the group stage... and this week, performance decides it again.
Jason: Pretty much.
Chico: We had two singers who were favorites, and they both got beat. He was the hot guy with the gee-tar.
Jason: He wasn't good.
Chico: Nope.
Joe: Judges weren't impressed. Being accused of being off-key is pretty damning
Gordon: He wasn't off key, but his voice clashed with the background music.
Chico: Might as well have been off-key. But his problem wasn't just him, it was everyone else. Big Board time?

Chico: We're calling this "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Go Away".
Gordon: This has to be one of the more disappointing weeks in recent memory. This was supposed to be a hard segment, but it was easy instead.
Chico: I know the Kinetic King is easy. NOTHING about that act worked.
Joe: The trainiest of train wrecks
Jason: That was actually pitiful. I felt bad for this guy
Chico: I'm sure we all did, but that don't pay the bills.
Jason: Right.
Gordon: It's not about potential. It's about execution. And he committed suicide on stage.
Chico: And what he couldn't do, Zuma Zuma did twice and was twice as better. They were in time, they went where the music took them. They came to play.
Gordon: There is an audience that likes these acts. Acrodunk got very far last year.
Chico: Yes they did. But these guys have infinitely more moves than Acrodunk.
Joe: Having backstory doesn't hurt, either
Chico: Not one bit, Joe.
Jason: Yes, the backstory was good.
Chico: Avery and the Calico Hearts... I think you had a name for them Joe?
Joe: The Real Chipettes of Orange County
Chico: Thank you.
Jason: ROFL
Joe: Only off by a couple decades :P
Chico: They were a bit discordant.
Jason: Get them in tune in a year or two and they are Radio Disney material
Chico: Agreed.
Gordon: I actually think they have a future. It's a good start for them.
Jason: They do have a future.
Chico: Very good start. They just need some polish.
Joe: But they don't have a present, cuz they gone
Jason: If they continue to practice and get better.
Chico: Howie pegged it best. "You're like a Saturday morning show." But yeah, a couple more years, wait for puberty to kick in, you have something.
Jason: Thats it.
Gordon: Charles Peachock.
Chico: Seen it. Seen it done better.
Jason: Big deal. It was good...not GREAT.
Chico: It was better when I saw it the FIRST time.
Gordon: I thought his audition was better. Definitely went backwards.
Chico: In the end, "nothing remarkable."
Gordon: Sam B.: Remarkable, but for the wrong reasons
Chico: NEXT.
Jason: Yeah.
Chico: Taylor Davis... we talked about this before... He was on point.. the backing track wasn't.
Gordon: Right song, wrong key and bland execution.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: Agreed on all fronts. That said, I think he gets ONE more shot.
Gordon: I don't. I don't know if any of the singers that auditioned and failed get one more shot.
Chico: they have to put some guitar dude there, because this year's field of musicians suck. =p
Gordon: Melissa Villasenor. Only got there on the graces of the judges. her second set was much weaker to her first.
Chico: But she's in it. What she needs to do, though, is make it all make sense. I thought Melissa was a tale of two acts. The first half was "okay, random". The second half ... that's when it all makes sense.
Joe: Yeah
Jason: Make it consistent
Chico: When she did Sharon Osbourne, judging Britney Spears, singing Judy Garland, etc. The MEAT is there in the sandwich. Now she has to work on it.
Gordon: She has to make a complete set.
Chico: Take a lesson from Pete "Obama" Peterkin. Couple years ago, you remember him.
Gordon: I do. And he died in the next round because he brought nothing new to the party.
Chico: Point taken. Scott Alexander: no relation.
Gordon: Good, because if he was related, you'd tell him not to do an old, cliché act.
Chico: Or I'd threaten not to claim him. The choir, on the other hand, had potential :-)
Gordon: I liked the choir. They should audition next year.
Chico: They should...
Gordon: Fatally unique
Jason: Great dance troupe.
Joe: I half expected someone to whip out a pair of sticks and drop them at Nick Cannon's feet
Chico: This is what a legit dance troupe looks like. And the theatrics weren't bad either.
Gordon: They were solid. Now can they raise their game again? Because they are now going up against the Silhouettes and Illuminates of thew world.
Chico: We'll get to the iLuminates in a bit, but what about the Yellow Design Stunt Team?
Gordon: Fail.
Chico: Not a big audience for stunts on this show. And this year... changes nothing.
Jason: Nope.
Chico: They're not a bad act, but they're up against it.
Gordon: Wrong. I like stunts. I don't like boring, failed stunts that featured 2 of the cyclists wiping out.
Chico: Frank Miles...
Gordon: Stint failed. See ya.
Joe: His donut was off-center
Jason: No Donut.
Chico: Get some coffee for that donut.
Joe: I hate jelly donuts, anyway
Chico: And finally, Team iLuminate, which, if you ask me, is a SERIOUS threat to go all the way
Jason: No joke.
Joe: Their ceiling is pretty high
Chico: America still has to make up for letting Fighting Gravity go by the wayside.
Gordon: I think this act is miles better than Fighting Gravity.
Jason: They are already planning for the next round. You could have 2 dance groups (Silhouettes and Illuminate) in the top 5
Chico: Awesome. So who from this group would you see in two weeks at the Wild Card show?
Jason: No one
Joe: Honestly? No one, but Davis still has an outside shot
Gordon: I'm sure they'll send someone in this group in - maybe the Kinetic King.
Chico: ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Jason: No way.
Gordon: Howie is a whack job. I can see him doing that
Chico: Can you see him on a rollercoaster?
Gordon: Only if he gets to throw Piers Morgan off of it while it's still running.
Chico: You'd love to see that.
Jason: Lots of people would.
Chico: They'd have to get past Bert Kreischer. The comic and coasterphile is the host of the American version of "Scream If You Know The Answer", which premiered on Travel Channel this week. If you weren't paying attention, you probably missed it.
Gordon: I was paying attention and I wanted to miss it.
Chico: So stop me if you've heard this one. Contestants take part in random games of mental skill on a battery of thrill rides for cash money.
Gordon: STOP
Chico: I was waiting for that.
Gordon: Stop at a whammy. (WAA Waaaaa)
Chico: Truth is... if you remember BrainRush, you've seen this show. It's the exact same show with teams instead of individuals.
Jason: And what bothers me is that when you have the host SCREAMING LIKE A MANIAC, it reduces the play along factor
Chico: Yes, we get it, Bert. You're an overgrown kid. I'm an overgrown kid. I'm sure all four of us are... but we know how to play this game out so that the folks at home are aware. And speaking of the game, it just seems like it takes a backseat to the rides.
Gordon: I like rides, but I want a game and I'm not getting it.
Jason: It seems like an advertisement for the park with games thrown in.
Joe: Spectacle over game...where have I heard that before
Chico: In the first show, we had a couple of lame games thrown in just to justify it being a game show. But it did do one thing right. You remember the useless co-host from BrainRush? Yeah, we didn't get that.
Gordon: ...yay?

	SCREAM IF YOU KNOW THE ANSWER Travel - 7p ET Wednesday
	GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D-	D-	D-	D-

Chico: If you're a coaster fanatic... I'd sooner stick with reruns of Bert the Conqueror. D-
Jason: Agreed. D-.
Gordon: Let's make it a trio. D-.
Joe: No Grade, didn't see
Chico: Did you see Take the Money and Run?
Joe: nope
Jason: I did.
Chico: So did I.
Jason: And it was INCREDIBLY disappointing
Chico: Basically someone watches "The First 48" and thinks... how can I make this into a game show?
Jason: Right. The team has to bury $100,000 within an hour in a city where they are in. The cops (real city detectives) have access to receipts, GPS and phone records.
Gordon: I thought the premise to this show was great. I loved the idea. 2 people hide a suitcase of money and the other 2 race against the clock to retrieve it.
Chico: The premise to this show is great and really solid. Where it falls flat is the execution.
Jason: EXactly.
Chico: It doesn't feel like you're watching reality TV. It feels like you're watching... the first 48. I don't want to think about that sort of thing with my light entertainment.
Jason: But the main part that failed was "the interrogation". If I was in that room I would have said jack.
Chico: I would've said "Dino Alexander, medical scientist, (serial # bleeped)"
Jason: Not "Hey this is where we could have done it."
Chico: Yeah. I don't know what the brother was thinking. The first show had a team of brothers competing.
Jason: And then one brother GIVES UP? WTF?
Chico: You play to win the game.
Jason: Not puss out
Chico: But you got an icky feeling watching this show.
Jason: I didn't feel icky. It felt odd
Chico: What did you feel, G?
Gordon: I feel I know why this show got moved to the Summer. I so wanted to like this show, but it seemed like the show wasn't structured correctly.
Chico: I have to agree.
Gordon: It just didn't function the right way for me.
Chico: And the kicker is that this show had so much potential.
Gordon: And it seems like the brother giving it up...huh? It's hard for people to follow it and understand the rationale.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: And with 17 hours remaining, it feels like there wasn't much convincing to do.
Jason: Nope.

	TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN ABC - 9p ET Tuesday
	GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D+	D	D	D

Chico: So as a show... it fails to deliver on promise. That's cardinal right there. I can't give it over a D because of that.
Jason: Yes. A VERY disappointing D.
Gordon: I so wanted to like this show, but I can't. There's a disjointedness that needs to be fixed for this show to be deemed good. So it's a great idea, but the execution fails it. D+
Chico: Big time. One thing that never fails on promise... spreading the love.



Chico: And this week, we do it to a show that we're probably never going to see again. Folks... remember the name Sonyae Elise. Chances are that's the last we're going to hear of her.
Gordon: She was the 'screamer' in the first episode of Platinum Hit that everyone was making fun of. Sure enough, she wins the whole thing and $100,000, defeating Scotty Granger and Jes Hudak in the finals.
Chico: What bugs me is that Sonyae probably could have a legit future in this business, but she's going to have to overcome being associated with this steaming pile of Bravo show. It's boring, formulaic, and in the end, she's going to have to be more than just verse, chorus, verse. I have no doubt that she will be good, but in the end.... why do I care?
Gordon: Not enough people did, which is why it's on Friday nights.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: So here's an MVP for you, screamer.



Chico: I hope it isn't the last award you get. But I'm not hopeful. One thing I am hopeful for.: the next season of Wheel of Fortune.
Gordon: Here here. It's time for...



Chico: Okay, first up...

1) Jim Thornton inherits the storied mike of Charlie O'Donnell. Do the Wheel Watchers embrace him?

Jason: Of course they do. Jim has the perfect voice for it.
Joe: I think he does a good enough job that the viewers won't go away. I mean, after all, this isn't The Price Is Right or anything.
Chico: No, but they did get the best guy in the pool. I have no problems with him, I don't think America will either.
Gordon: This isn't Pat or Vanna we're talking about here. Jim will do fine.
Chico: cool deal. Next question.

2) Million Dollar winner. Do we get one this year?

Chico: I'm going to say no.
Jason: Nope.
Chico: I mean, it's already hard enough as it is.
Joe: Yeah, no
Gordon: I'm surprised we haven't gotten one yet. I think we will eventually get one.
Chico: Before we continue, we have the artwork for 2011. See above.
Jason: Very Vegas and slot machine like
Chico: That's what I thought. Next question.

3) Does the Wheel staff pay homage to Ed Flesh, who died this summer?

Jason: Yes.
Gordon: Of course.
Joe: No real sense not to
Chico: Yup. After all, that wheel is his baby.
Gordon: It sure is. Next one...

4) What's the next fun thing WOF is going to put on the wheel? And how will it affect gameplay?

Jason: I would love to see the "1/2 Car" wedge come back. That worked for me.
Chico: Yep. Maybe make it a permanent thing. After all, how many cars were given away this year?
Jason: 16 total
Joe: I'm fine with status quo
Chico: I can deal. Not yet time for CSC (change for the sake of change) yet.
Gordon: I'd like to see something 1970's Break the Bank Style. Like a $25,000 wedge which you can keep, but you'd give up your turn and have to hope it comes back to you to keep it.
Chico: Okay, final question...

5) Even as Judge Judy knocked Wheel off its top spot, it still averaged a 6.9 for the year. Next season, Wheel of Fortune averages....

Chico: Heheh... 6.9
Joe: *smack*
Chico: Whaaaat? =p That was my answer. About the same, a 6.9.
Gordon: 6.9 sounds good to me.
Joe: 6.8, adjusting for deflation
Gordon: You just don't like to 6.9
Jason: 6.9 I love 6.9 :)
Chico: THAT'S JUST NASTY. =p And for the record, the show is renewed, I believe, to 2014.
Joe: :D
Chico: I know J! is, and Wheel and J! are a package deal, so...
Gordon: I bet Jeopardy! would love a 6.9.
Chico: It needs another run for that. And speaking of running, Chen-Bot is running, then stopping, then running again. Her version of "But first..."
Gordon: Roll...that beautiful...brain footage'

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks Doug. We'll get to the datebook in a moment, but first... but first... TCA Summer Tour was this week. I need bats.
Joe: Here's a Pittsburgh Pirates bat, not like they're using them right now *rimshot*
Chico: Ba DUM bum.

Here's the long and the short of the competition... ABDC gets renewed for season 7, The Voice returns after the Super Bowl (which you can drop to your knees and give thanks my brothers, we will have) on February 5, Top Model goes all-star September 14, and X Factor launches September 21.

Chico: Good stuff. And I think TCA continues into this week, so expect more. OH... and NBC is looking for "Celebrity Game Night", whatever that is.
Jason: That's a bat rack :)
Gordon: I have a spice rack in my Datebook.
Chico: Easy now...

We have lots of spices. For hot pepper, go to Top Shot season 3 on Tuesday. For Alum, go to Karaoke Battle. For tasty spices go to the Great Food Truck Race, season 2 on Sunday, and for Chico Spice, go to Bachelor Pad, Season 2, on Monday with a THREE HOUR premiere. I know what Chico's going to be doing on his Monday night.

Chico: As for what I'm going to do Monday... MasterChef and Hell's Kitchen baby. OR I could be on Facebook getting loaded.
Jason: Hic

Two new games to check out on The Social Network... Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader went live. It's good enough for a time killer. Meanwhile, Endemol UK launches plans for a Total Wipeout app.

Chico: It's supposed to use your webcam to play along... This just might be interesting.
Jason: Could be
Chico: If this works, it'll be a smart move. If not, still might be smart. Now for something a little LESS smart.
Gordon: Oh. I have that.
Jason: I bet you do :)

Are YOU Smarter Than...The X-Factor auditioner who decided to sing. Naked.

Jason: Say that again?
Gordon: The singer exposed himself in front of the judges and the audience.
Chico: Dude. There's exposing yourself, and then there's... exposing yourself.
Gordon: He let it all hang out.
Joe: *sigh*
Gordon: He got a lot of exposure.
Chico: He took the phrase "leave it all on stage" a wee bit too literal-like.
Jason: I think it was a short set :)
Chico: I'm guessing it wasn't D'angelo, "How Does It Feel"?
Jason: ROFL
Gordon: I do not want to know how it feels. But how do lawsuits feel?
Chico: Feels like money.
Jason: Ching Ching

In this week's Haterade, a photographer sues Project Runway for using her photos without permission, Jamawn Woods is getting a settlement with Chipotle for their 'bum advertising team' which he blames for Soul Daddy's Failure, and Mike 'Boogie' Malin is being sued by business partner Shereene Azam for taking money from his restaurant business and using it to hire older men to live out fetish role play fantasies. Mike counters with embezzlement. Drama!

Jason: This is UGLY. With a capital U.
Chico: It's so ugly, it's oogly.
Gordon: I think you need to take Mike on a trip first, Chico. Where are you two going?
Chico: Let's go to the motherland... Panama..

Panama and Ecuador are the latest two countries to sign on for their own versions of "Minute to Win It"

Jason: ole. :)
Chico: Muy bueno. Meanwhile, the show that spawned it is getting a Ukranian version.
Jason: Ganarle en un minuto.
Chico: And inside the Cube playing the role of Philip Schofield...*sigh*... Val and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. I wish I was kidding.
Jason: Yuck
Gordon: What's the Ukrainian for please change the channel?
Chico: Зміна каналу.
Jason: Wow. Very good.
Chico: Thanks, Google.
Gordon: What about some American Hoes?
Chico: I got some. I know you have more.
Gordon: I do.
Chico: (plays "Pimpin All Over the World)

In this week's Media Ho Report, Bob Barker gives $230,000 to a chimp house, Piers Morgan is asked to testify in the phone hacking scandal, Front Line will manage the X Factor winner...Fantasia is having a baby, Scott MacIntyre is getting married, as is Michael Kors...to Lance LePere.

Chico: Good for him. And her. And him.
Jason: Yup

Snooki thinks that she is going to marry boyfriend Jionne, Kim Kardashian is marrying Kris Humphries (and E! will have the wedding special), and Vienna Girardi may as well get married to her nose, and we have a full spread by Us Magazine on it. I'll buy a copy for Chico to drool over.

Chico: What. The bleep. Ever.
Gordon: But her nose is not the Media Ho of the week. Neither is Chico, who got the 'We love you, but we don't love you enough' postcard from Millionaire.
Jason: BOOOOOOOO!
Chico: Or as Block puts it, "It's not you, it's me."
Gordon: It's you.
Chico: Shut it.
Jason: LOL
Chico: Who's the Ho of the Week?
Gordon: The ho is ...Jennifer Lopez. She gets big gucks to discuss her divorce, then gets bigger bucks - 20 million, to re-up as American Idol judge.
Jason: $20M? What recession?
Chico: It's Fox. They have deep pockets. That's the American Idol money coming back.
Gordon: It's a recession unless you get the big bucks.
Chico: Yup.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: A ho addendum: if you watch the US Top Gear, which ironically got better in season 2 when it decided not to be so Top Gear-ish... Bill Engvall is your "big star in a small car" this week.
Jason: There you go :)
Chico: Now you may shut it down.
Jason: Shutting down.
Chico: Still to come, I've been watching way too much Card Sharks as I break out Higher Lower, but first...
Gordon: ...we have to deal with X-Mas, because it's never too early for the Winter holidays. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and I'll give you 22 pieces of a Chico-Bot that we need to send off to the repair shop.
Chico: I'm a cyborg, beeyatches. :-)

(Brainvision is presented by Scream 2 If You Know The Answer. You can answer questions. You can answer questions on a roller coaster. But can you answer rollercoaster questions with Ghostface chasing you? David Arquette hosts. The 90s.)

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