Episode 27.7 - Good vs. Evil IV: And a Dog Shall Lead Them
July 18

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and once again, Chico Alexander is fed up with my antics.
Chico: *gives him dirty look*
Gordon: See what I mean?
Chico: *signals to a door* See that door?
Gordon: The dungeon? Again?
Chico: Yep. And I've been raising bats down there so... expect a lot of guano.
Gordon: Well then at least I get to avoid the guano of the good stuff going on. Yuck.
Chico: Rob's waiting for you. So at least you'll be in good company... or evil company. Or evil good company.
Gordon: Rob Seidelman is always good evil company. I guess you've got that goody goody Jason and the zombie fearing Agent Josh with you?
Chico: Now you're on.
Gordon: You know I'll come up with something that will make you let us out of the dungeon. Aren't you scared?
Chico: Actually... *pulls out stun gun* No, no I'm not... That said, from Somewhere in America.... WLTI: Good Vs. Evil 4... is... ON!
Gordon: Yay.
Chico: NOW GIT!
Gordon: You know, I can tape you tazing me and put it on YouBoob
Chico: Not from the dungeon with dialup.
Gordon: Dialup? You suck.
Chico: Now MOVE!
Gordon: ...Damnit. (Walks into the dungeon)

(GOOD)

Josh: Oh gosh.
Jason: Wow. That was interesting.
Chico: Okay, it's another Good vs. Evil show, so I assembled the BEST. We have the one and only Jason Block.
Jason: Thank you. Always a pleasure
Chico: And the one... back from a secret mission in the exotic wastelands of Wyoming, Agent Josh.
Josh: Let's just say that the mission Stunk.
Chico: Welcome back Josh.
Josh: Thank you sir.
Chico: Okay, let's get it going with our first visit to the Big Brother house...well, Josh's first..



Josh: That's one reality show I'd like to be on, actually. But yes, Great Dumbness.
Chico: So you think you'd know a thing or two about why Keith was shown the door.
Jason: Overplayed his hand
Chico: For one.
Josh: Aye. This early in the game, fly under the radar.
Chico: But if you think about it, from a strictly non-linear point of view, the curious case of Keith Henderson started EARLY. As in "day 1" early
Josh: I'd say the moment he got his key early.
Jason: Do we need a big bored?
Chico: I say we need a Big Bored.

Chico: Thank you, Josh. This one's called Hendo Endo.
Jason: We are polite here on the good side
Chico: We're polite, but we're not stupid. So let's all hug the Big Bored....
Josh: (HUG)
Jason: (HUG)
Chico: *hugs*...Now let's shred it.
Jason: Heh
Chico: Okay, Keith as you know, was a little bit of a livewire.
Josh: Ohhh yah.
Chico: He made it no secret that he was going to be a little bit creepy. WOW! LOOK AT ALL THESE WOMEN! I AIN'T NEVER SEE A PAIR OF BOOBIES BEFORE!
Jason: Yipe.
Chico: Yeah, he was going to be... That guy.
Josh: Creepy perv
Jason: Ew
Chico: You never, especially in a social setting outside of the BB House, you NEVER... want to be That Guy. And now Porsche is paired with That Guy. So she has no issue with using her position to campaign to get rid of That Guy. Fast forward to the Veto competition, where Porsche was going to throw it. The kicker: so was Keith.
Jason: DUMB
Chico: So with the dissenting votes coming from Adam, Cassi, Dominic, and Lawon, Keith is out 6 to 4.
Josh: Bye bye Keith
Chico: in probably the easiest vote out in BB history. What that means now... is that Porsche, the top heavy VIP waitress, now holds a Golden Key, which is essentially a free ride up to the round of 10.
Jason: Yup :) And as of now, Jordan and Jeff are HOH because Jordan won HOH
Chico: Jordan nominated Adam & Dominic...BUT!
Jason: BUT!
Chico: Adam & Dominic have won the Veto, therefore nullifying their nominations. So two more newbies are going to have to go up.
Josh: Yup.
Chico: Because right now, it's still fresh meat vs. vets.
Josh: I actually like the idea. Albeit a total ripoff from road rules.
Chico: You want to give this early game to the vets, because the newbies aren't playing as a team. They're playing as a group of couples.... just trying to keep their heads above water.
Chico: The vets, by their very existence, are getting inside their heads. You can't do that.
Josh: The Vets are playing a game of Intimidation.
Jason: Very much so
Josh: The Newbies KNOW the vets can win.
Chico: Two of them have already done so They need to start coming together to take them out. Otherwise, it's Duck Hunt.



Jason: Nice reference
Josh: *blam! blam-blam!* *dog laughs*
Chico: Now we go from duck hunts to talent hunts. *speaks in an intercom" Gordon, that's you

(EVIL)

Gordon: I'm glad you, Jason and all those other goodie goodies are having fun. I'll guarantee you that we're having MORE fun.
Rob: Yes, it's more fun to poke fun and berate idiots rather than try to act all "Paula" towards them.
Gordon: Gordon Pepper in the dungeon of doom here along with my evil Acolyte, from Game Show Garbage, Mr. Rob Seidelman
Rob: Seems like a natural fit. I'm in a dungeon of evil all day long on GSG.
Gordon: And we'll start with the most mediocre talent show on the air.



Gordon: So what did you think of our Top 12 this week?
Rob: It's the same old, same old really. I mean, after 5 seasons of Cute guys with Guitars (TM), Motorcylist Acrobatics, young singers who are better than 3/4 of the crop on American Idol, and those crazy antics of Leonid the Magnificent, among others. It's hard to be wow-worthy. It's just all of this stuff I've seen before on the show and better done.
Gordon: I agree. And speaking of better done, this is the place to make fun of them. There was ONE act that actually showed up to perform. Everyone else gets a grade of Meh. Big Bored please?

Gordon: The Subject: America's Got Mediocrity. If you wanted to wow the audience with the judges choices, this...wasn't it.
Rob: It's telling the home viewers that the talent pool this year has been severely diluted, compared to last years.
Gordon: It's 3 simple rules to a first round performance. 1. Do something different than what you did on the audition, 2. Do something BETTER than what you did at the audition and 3. Make the audience want more. Almost every single act violated one of these rules.
Rob: Exactly.
Gordon: Miami All Stars: Hey it's the exact same style of dancing we already saw! In fact, the head of the troupe told the judges they had more than what they brought. Pathetic.
Rob: You simply just told the audience that you mailed it in. Bad move, Bad Form and not only that, it was better performed in the auditions.
Gordon: Agreed, Dezmond Meeks: The judges, unfortunately, were right. It's a lounge act that isn't going to get America's vote. If anything, he lowered the bar, not raised it.
Rob: Meeks once again was better the first time. And Lounge Acts are a dying breed nowadays, so even if he did move on, his style wouldn't have wowed anybody afterwards.
Gordon: Those Funny Little People: Singing in the rain? Really? Add props, do SOMEthing besides dance around with half naked people.
Rob: Exactly.
Gordon: Fearless Flores Family. That act looked exactly like their first audition...wait! it was!
Rob: It's like they only had one bullet and they used it up on their audition. They tried to reuse it, and it backfired.
Gordon: Again, do something different.
Rob: And that's the major problem with people who go on talent shows. Most of them are just one-note performers. If you're not multidimensional, then you're not going to last.
Gordon: This is why singers win. They have a repertoire of different songs to pick from. Of course that leads us to Squonk Opera: How did they get here?
Rob: Their name? And the fact that in their audition stage, they were after a long batch of losers, so even if you were passable, as they were, they were shoo-ins to get in.
Gordon: Hell, I would have taken another performance from Leonid the Magnificent over this. J Chris Newberg: I liked him, but again, he didn't raise his game from what we saw from him. He's just not ready yet. Snap Boogie: The ONLY one who raised his game, adding lights, effects, people, etc.
Rob: Snap Boogie, in this lethargic group, can go a ways in the competition, further if Haspop can go far.
Gordon: He's not nearly as good as Haspop, but he shown this week because no one else did. Echo of Animal Gardens. For an animal act to advance, they need to pull out everything. This group did nothing.
Rob: There's an old rule when it comes to acts. Never work with family or animals, because they seldom work. They didn't work here.
Gordon: Nope. The Fiddleheads performing...Michael Jackson? Really?
Gordon: Way to sacrifice what made you good to an audience that skews older. You needed to go AC or Classical, not pop sleaze.
Gordon: They also committed a cardinal sin, which we will discuss later on.
Rob: I facepalmed. Seriously. It's like Idol singers who try to do something out of their normal range and alienate their core group of voters. Thus leaving you with nothing.
Gordon: Couldn't have said it better, Rob. That alienation was a killer. Duo Aero. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Rob: It helped me fall asleep.
Gordon: Were you up for the last 2 groups?
Rob: Nope. When I woke up, the 11pm news was on. That was more exciting than the acts that week.
Gordon: So you had to watch the internet for Anna Graceman, who also didn't bring anything new to the party. However, she actually executed her performance very well. That being said, that will not win her a million dollars. She has to do better and think bigger on her next performance
Rob: Sometimes that will save you, actually being genuinely good at what you do. And she was.
Gordon: Good? Yes. She has to be better to win the whole thing. Finally, the Russian Bar Trio: What they did was great, don't get me wrong, but we've seen it already. Again, what they did will not win them a million dollars.
Rob: Not with Haspop still in the field.
Gordon: So that's what we got for lack of talent. Now here's Chico with a lack of a viewpoint.

(GOOD)

Josh: Him coming out of the Evil Room is gonna be scary.
Chico: Not really, it'll just be him.
Josh: *cautiously approaches the door*
Chico: Not yet, Josh... we still have a show to do...

Gordon: Come here Josh, I'll give you candy if you open the door.
Chico: GORDON! (Bangs on dungeon door)
Gordon: Ow!
Josh: Oh! *quickly walks back over*

Chico: Ahem...so Discovery has a new series that's very good. This is One Man Army. Jason, tell us what's going to go down.
Jason: Very simple This is Chopped for people who like raw steak, cold beer, and have the testerone level of a bull.
Chico: Or a bull elephant.
Jason: That too.
Chico: That's a lot of testosterone.
Jason: This is the most masculine show to come out of the Discovery channel in a while.
Chico: The host, Mykel Hawke, is a One-Man Army in and of himself.
Jason: He leads four Military or ex-military through a series of tests of physical and mental agility
Josh: Special Forces Veteran
Jason: They are eliminated Chopped Style till the winner is left and wins $10,000 and the title of One Man Army. The losers get taken away in the "extraction van" What I loved about this show is while not original in format, the execution is balls out.
Josh: This is a slick show.
Jason: This is MANLY.
Chico: This is awesome.
Jason: No weaklings allowed.
Chico: This is crazy.
Josh: And the fact that this is presented in military fashion keeps it manly.
Chico: And you know, you've seen shows like Boot Camp, Fear Factor, Top Shot, that sort of thing... this is miles beyond that.
Jason: Because it doesnt shy away from it's Military pedigree.
Chico: The presentation is top notch, you know what you're in for when you watch it...
Josh: Rough and Ready
Jason: I didn't care that one of the guys was gay, which was a nice touch btw.
Chico: I told you it was crazy. But it was a good crazy.
Josh: May I import a video?
Chico: Link up.
Josh: From Discovery Network's YouTube Account.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enM4K9-BYLU&feature=player_embedded

Chico: You notice we haven't talked about the game...
Jason: The game is killer
Chico: The game is pretty solid. There are three rounds, a speed challenge, a strength challenge, and an intelligence challenge.
Jason: The strength challenge made ME tired watching. 5 breaches, 2 walls and 3 doors
Josh: And the final one, no tools.
Jason: The intelligence challenge they had to MacGyver their way out of a jail cell.
Chico: That takes some intelligence.
Josh: Yup.
Jason: With a mattress, toothpaste and all that.
Chico: so we talked about the good...
Josh: Now the bad...
Jason: It's NOT original
Chico: Not at all.
Jason: It's Chopped with guns instead of stoves.
Chico: From the overall structure to the challenges themselves.
Josh: Aye, sir.
Chico: Mykel Hawke is a better narrator than he is a host.
Josh: The host is very quietly intense.
Jason: Too quiet.
Josh: I think it will get stale after a while.
Chico: They were looking for Colby Donaldson again, and they found... well, not Colby Donaldson.
Jason: And the show, for all it's production values...is cheap? $10,000? Really?
Josh: How much does one win on a regular game of Chopped?
Chico: $10,000.
Jason: But Chopped doesn't feel cheap
Josh: You think for the physical punishment alone, that is worth $10,000. Add the other two challenges, I think it should be at least $25,000.
Chico: It's worth $50K on Fear Factor. I'd go at least $20,000. Maybe $25,000.
Josh: Cable budget, so....
Jason: And do we really "know" the challengers?
Josh: ....umm.....no
Jason: I need a little something to root for you.
Chico: So the host is a little stoic and the prize money's a little meh... the show itself is slick in presentation and very challenging and engaging to watch. Time to grade up.

	ONE MAN ARMY Discovery - 10p ET Wednesdays
	CHICO	JASON	JOSH	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	B-	C+	B-	B-

Josh: I'll say B-, SIR!
Chico: I'm going to go B- as well. It's a good show, but there are a lot of things dragging it down, chief amongst them, the host.
Jason: For me, the show is one of the better shows out there. Then again, that's not saying much. C+
Chico: It's on my radar for sure, though.
Josh: If it's on, I'll watch
Chico: And now we switch back to our own one-man army, Gordon with... well, I may be good, but I got something evil for him... *slips a video marked "Sweet Home Alabama" in the mail slot*
Josh: That is evil.
Chico: Hence why Gordon is reviewing it. Because I'm good.

(EVIL)

Gordon: (Grabs the Video in the mail slot). We're back in the dungeon of evil, and Chico can have his one man army. We have Devon, a beautiful country girl who is looking for love. We have 10 country guys and 10 city guys all wooing to win Devon's heart.
Rob: In a southern fried version of Chico's Favorite Show.
Gordon: Yes, and we all know how Chico LOVES the Bachelor. This would make him feel right at home.
Rob: Exactly. Sweet Home Alabama, where the skies are so blue.
Gordon: I couldn't find anything wrong with this. For starters, the guys were completely taken from other shows, including that guy that bedded half of The Jersey Shore cast.
Rob: Yup, especially the Alien Ham herself, Snooki.
Gordon: So we have that. We have Devon obviously reading from cue cards. We have the cast also reading from cue cards and making The Hills look like Shakesperean geniuses.
Rob: Not only that, we also have a genuine wussbag in a contestant who decided to quit the show, because of the heat and humidity, before Devon showed up.
Gordon: And the pleasures of watching Skeet Shooting! Almost as much fun as watching paint dry.
Rob: Kinda makes me wish I was playing Duck Hunt at the time. At least that would be more exciting.
Gordon: Actually, that's what should have happened. They should have all played Duck Hunt.



Chico: Wait a sec, where did you get that?
Gordon: I'm evil. I have my ways.
Chico: Bastard...
Gordon: :) So Rob, what else was there?
Rob: Another thing I'll give them credit for was that there wasn't any contrived "ceremony", it was just a one-on-one with Devon and she told them if he was going to stay or go.
Gordon: At least there was no French kiss or kiss on the cheek moment.
Rob: It's still too much of a Bachelor Clone for my tastes, and everybody on here looks like Bachelor/ette rejects. And what really irks me is that they're not hyping the romance between the guys and Devon. Instead they're more focused on the conflicts between Country Vs. City.
Gordon: Romance? What romance? Devon's going to break up with whoever she chooses 3 months after the show airs.
Rob: Right, but for the sake of trying to keep some semblance of fantasy, that's what they should do. And you're right, Devon will dump the schmuck who wins, especially if Jersey Shore guy wins, which seems to be what the producers want.
Gordon: I think Jersey Shore guy's going to be the last City guy standing. It'll be City Guy Vs. Country guy at the end.
Rob: Yeah, it always seems to be telegraphed like that in shows like this.
Gordon: So any other thoughts before we grade this?
Rob: Nope, that's it. Let's grade it.
Gordon: Ok. Start it off

	SWEET HOME ALABAMA CMT - 9p ET Thursdays
	GORDON	ROB	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D-	C-	D+

Rob: While there's nothing fundamentally wrong with the show, with it being your basic 1 gal, 20 guy schmozzfest and all. At least they got the basics right. However, I don't like the fact that they would rather focus on the Country Boy Vs. City Slicker conflict rather than the guys falling in love with the girl and vice-versa, and that sours me to this show. C-
Gordon: Now usually, on some show like this, I would go for the jugular and give it a D-, because that's what it deserves. HOWEVER, I really think that Chico needs to see this, don't you, Rob?
Rob: Oh yeah.
Gordon: So I give this an A, and Rob does too, don't you Rob?
Rob: Exactly, Gordon. It's the best new show of the summer!
Gordon: I think we should do recaps of this show on a weekly basis, don't you?
Rob: Sure, and Chico will be happy to do it.
Gordon: I think so too. Chico, it's all yours!

(GOOD)

Chico: ......
Josh: Jason, I'm beginning to wonder if we should take Chico-san to the evil room.
Chico: Say that one more time and I'm going to throw you in there.
Gordon: (From the dungeon) Candy, Josh! Free candy!
Josh: *ulp*
Chico: Well?
Josh: Sorry. I'll be good.
Chico: Okay, now... I promised the best... and I have the best...
Josh: And the best is?
Chico: This is the ballot for the reality competition awards of the Primetime Emmys. In the category of Outstanding Reality Competition...
Josh: *drumroll*
Chico: You remember last year Top Chef was the first show to upset the Amazing Race for the Emmy. This year, REMATCH. They're up against American Idol (Fox), Dancing with the Stars (ABC), returning nomination Project Runway (Lifetime), and the new kid on the block... So You Think You Can Dance (Fox)
Josh: *busts a hole in the tympani* NOW WAIT JUST A SECOND!
Jason: Yes, Josh?
Josh: How can a piece of (bleep) like SYTYCD make it to the list?
Jason: EASY!
Josh: They must be scraping the bottom of the barrel!
Jason: They wont win,
Josh: Sorry...*calms down*
Jason: Because American Idol will.
Chico: Are you guys quite done yet?
Jason: Sorry.
Chico: Okay.... Top Chef will repeat.
Josh: I dunno.
Jason: Really?
Josh: DWTS has been looking VERY sharp
Josh: I look for that to provide some heat on the heavy favorites.
Chico: Well, it's hard to argue against any of these nominations.
Jason: Yes it is.
Josh: Almost any of them.
Jason: Runway is showing its age
Josh: Unfortunately
Jason: Survivor should be there. Take out either Runway or SYTYCD and you got my vote.
Chico: No it shouldn't, and you just said so yourself without saying so. How long has Survivor been on the air again?
Jason: 11 years, and had it's best run in a while
Josh: But Survivor keeps itself fresh with new twists. Runway, aside from the challenges being different, every show looks the same.
Chico: Yes, but the twists they've had for a while have been either minor or not even worth mentioning. Again, you said so without even saying so.
Josh: I said every show LOOKS the same.
Chico: Project Runway, which is going on seven years, by the way, is showing its age. It looks the same. Same can be said for Survivor.
Josh: It looks like the same shots over and over again.
Chico: The Emmy voters were probably going for new hotness this year.
Josh: I still think DWTS should be among Top Chef and Amazing Race for this year's nod.
Chico: Top Chef proved that Amazing Race is beatable. Now it's up to either DWTS or AI to prove that Top Chef is beatable. I don't see it happening because it's always something on Top Chef.
Jason: What about the hosts, Chico?
Chico: As for the hosts... Defending champ Jeff Probst is going up against...Ryan Seacrest (American Idol), Phil Keoghan (Amazing Race), Tom Bergeron (Dancing with the Stars), and again, the Todd Newton of the bunch... Cat Deeley (SYTYCD)
Jason: No problems here.
Chico: And not because they're relatively the same height either. Hardly anything to quarrel with on this lineup, they're all stellar emcees.
Jason: Anyone could and should win...minus Cat. Sorry.
Chico: Some had to work harder than others, but they all have the game down.
Josh: For me, Cat is Eye Candy *drool*
Chico: But they all have the skills to pay the bills.
Josh: True.
Chico: Jeff's been at it the longest, so he's probably going to be the Emmy vote. He gets MY vote, for sure.
Josh: I'll say Probst is the favorite again, with the Darkhorse being Phil. And the longshot being Cat...*drools*
Chico: Cat's good, but she's the most inexperienced.
Josh: True.
Jason: So its going to be fun
Josh: It will be interesting to say the least.
Chico: So we all have our favorites, but what will Emmy say? She'll have the Final Answer September 18. Meanwhile, we have our final segment over in the bat cave...
Josh: *shudder*
Jason: Oh boy

(EVIL)

Gordon: Now here at WLTI, we always come up with new concepts and new games and stuff, because we're trend-setters here.
Rob: That's right. I mean, who doesn't love something new in the world of game shows.
Gordon: And since this is the evil dungeon, I think that it's time to create something new for the masses. So it's time for...



Rob: Because seeing contestants utterly fail on game shows is more fun than to just see everyone do spectacularly.
Gordon: Exactly. And this is our primer to NOT do what they did. Way #1: Blame the Producers. In America's Got Talent, the Fiddleheads went from Classical to Michael Jackson's Billie Jean. That alone was awful, but they still could have gotten in via the judge's choice. But then they blamed the producers for giving them the song choice. What do we not do kids?
Rob: Blame the Producers for giving them that song. I mean, they could have gone the country route and have been ok. I mean, I'd like to think the producers had given them tons of other songs. It's their fault they chose it.
Gordon: The producers don't go to the stage and sing the song. Sharon nailed it with "Don't try to be something you're not", and when the Fiddleheads said the producers made them do it, that sealed the deal.
Rob: Yeah, they should have gotten das X's right then and there.
Gordon: It killed Arcadian Broad when he said it, it killed Maestro Alexander Bui and it killed The FIddleheads. Next up...Way #2. And we like to Spread the Love here, but this week, it's... SPREAD THE EVIL ... This happened on Rocco's Dinner Party. We get past the elimination challenge and we have Corey Vs. Nicole. Nicole manages to set her kitchen on fire and cook a steak ordered well done incredibly rare. In fact, Rocco had too cook the steak for her. So way #2 way to lose a game show...have the host do your task for you. And no, she didn't win. Corey won $20,000
Rob: That is just terrible. I mean, isn't that one of the basic things to do on a cooking show? Know how to cook meat? That's like being on Hell's Kitchen and having Scott or Gordon cooking your station.
Gordon: And usually when that happens, the contestants leave the show. So that's spreading the evil. And now the hamsters are cooking a SPECIAL meal for Chico, Jason and Josh. You went shopping and got the ingredients on the list, right?
Rob: Yup. Eggs, Milk, veggies, Haterade, which it was the last bottle BTW.
Gordon: Hmmm...that's not all the ingredients (looks into the shopping bag) let's see...Fugu...horse laxatives...ghost chiles...yep, got everything. This is going to be great. Just like this week's news. Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: We're going to pass on the thoughtful feast, but I'll give it to Doug Morris, for his great work on BrainVision. First up, I got a bat for you, Jay...a bat for Josh...And a bat for me...
Josh: We're feeling batty!
Chico: Yes we are, because we have three renewals...

The Great Food Truck Race rolls back into town August 14.

Jason: Not a bad show
Josh: Compelling and slick

A third shot of Top Shot is loaded up for August 9

Chico: Again, very well done show. Even if it is Survivor: Artillery
Jason: Colby has improved from season to season
Chico: Yes he has. He's gone from strength to strength. I'm hoping this season he goes into Colby instead of "Probst Blue Ribbon Lite"
Jason: LOL
Chico: And my bat is green and attached to a lantern
Josh: Wait...Green...lantern....Superheroes?
Chico: Yeah, try and keep up.
Josh: I'm with you so far.

The greenlight is for a new show on VH1... it's called "Ton of Cash".

Jason: I read about this :)
Josh: I heard of this too.
Chico: It launches August 17. Basically, you have to carry $1 million from Los Angeles to Las Vegas without losing any of it.
Jason: Wow.
Chico: Fourteen contestants will try and do that.
Josh: Yah. I can see a lot of green-eyed monsters.
Chico: But the host, former NFL linebacker Dhani Jones, will not make it easy. I think this isn't going to be easy to watch.
Josh: It's VH-1. Have they made a reality show that was easy to watch?
Chico: One, America's Most Smartest Model.
Josh: Even that one I found hard to watch. I just had to keep saying to myself..."These girls look beautiful"
Jason: This could get oogy quickly
Josh: Episode one quickly.
Chico: Five minutes quickly I will give it five minutes.
Josh: Wow...that quick!
Chico: That quick. Speaking of quick, what's up this week, G?

(EVIL)

Gordon: We'll give you an Evil Datebook

Monday is Family Brainsurge, which isn't too evil, but then we take you on a trip to Hell. Hell's Kitchen. That's pretty evil. And so could a trip to NBC on Tuesday for It's Worth What?

Rob: Actually, that's not that evil of a list. Well, except for Hell's Kitchen.
Gordon: We'll see if the It's Worth What is evil enough for Must See TV for Chico.

(GOOD)

Chico: Okay, let's get loaded.
Jason: (HIC)
Josh: (hic-URP!) Scuse me

Fox has posted its preview of "The X Factor" on YouTube.

Josh: Reserving judgment until I see the full package.
Chico: In case you all haven't seen it, here it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlY15RjXRMY&feature=player_embedded

Chico: That's just the preview.
Jason: Loved this.
Josh: Paula!
Jason: And BTW...that is Simon's 2M Bugatti Veyron
Chico: It's a smart rib on that other show. Now for some not so smart ribs, here's Gordon. *sends down the whiteboard*
Chico: ... I just have so many gadgets to send things to the danger room.
Josh: You obviously have been to Q-Labs
Chico: Obviously.

(EVIL)

Gordon: (Takes whiteboard off the pulley) Now Rob and I would never make this list, but I've got someone that's not evil. Just dumb.

Are YOU Smarter than...Dancing With the Star Winner Hines Ward, who got busted for DWI.

Rob: Won't people just learn that if you drink, you shoudln't drive. I mean, aren't we that far removed from what Ryan Dunn did?
Gordon: Apparently, not. I hate to say this, but it may take a mass tragedy to get people's attention.
Rob: It's going to have to take 3-4 AA Listers.
Gordon: Well I don't know about that. However, there is no alcoholic content in Haterade.
Rob: That's right. 100% Pure Hate
Gordon: Well there's a small concentration of bile. And 1/3rd zombie.



Rob: That's Sparky's best friend right there.

After 7 years of marriage, American Idol Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have declared splitsville. That means there's another vacancy her apartment.

Gordon: Now SHE needs to be the next contestant for The Bachelorette
Rob: Would be the biggest ratings ABC ever got for that show.
Gordon: Now Chico wants to take a trip...but I want to send Josh on a trip of his own (Sends Love Zombie and a bottle of Haterade up the pulley)

(GOOD)

Chico: Hey, they sent a bottle of Haterade back up! Along with...
Love Zombie: BRAINS!
Josh: GAH! (Hides behind Jason)
Chico: Dammit, Gordon! Try the Haterade while I chain the Love Zombie back up. (Takes the Love Zombie out of the room)
Josh: Still haven't acquired the proper taste for it.
Chico: (Walks back in) It tastes like goblin piss.
Josh: *sighs* Ok, pour me a shot bartender.
Jason: Great
Chico: I just needed a drink before we go global.
Jason: Where are we headed?
Chico: Going to Britain.
Josh: Ok, I'm driving *pulls up in a Morgan*
Jason: Remember the right side of the road. Whats in the UK?
Josh: Get in you lot.

Fremantle is bringing back Through The Keyhole, which basically takes people through celebrity houses and asks them "What manner of celebrity would live here."

Chico: It's a revival of a 1983 show that aired on TV-AM.
Josh: I actually saw that on BBC.com's 24 Hour Panel People. It is quite a quiet, entertaining panel show.
Chico: It became a full-on series in 1987. And now Vernon Kay... oh dear... is going to host the revival.
Josh: This will be the Bud Collyer test.
Chico: Explain the Bud Collyer test.
Josh: Essentially, I consider Bud Collyer to be two different hosts. He could be quite shouty and energetic (Beat the Clock), but also quiet and reserved (To Tell The Truth) We know Vernon can be shouty (Sometimes to disastrous results) Now let's see if he can be quiet.
Chico: If he can be quiet... he passes the Bud Collyer test?
Josh: If he can be, he would pass the Bud Collyer test. Would it mean he's a good host? Maaaaybe.
Chico: So the Bud Collyer test means you can be what the show calls for.
Josh: Right. Which I think is a feather in a cap for a GS Host. But Vernon hasn't proven himself in my eyes: Family Fortunes, Skating with the Stars, The Whole 19 Yards...
Chico: He's getting there with his job in Family Fortunes, but he's a LONG way away from Richard Dawson...LONG way from John O'Hurley.
Josh: And even longer from Steve Harvey.
Chico: Hell, long way from Steve Harvey. The three best hosts of the game IMHO
Josh: But you get my idea.
Chico: And the evil Gordon gets hoes.

(EVIL)

Gordon: I have a cavalcade of Media Hoes to select from. And now Chico's not here, so we'll play something else. (Plays Wynter Gordon's Dirty Talk)
Rob: Does this still keep our PG rating?
Gordon: No :)

In this week's Media Ho Report, Mark Cuban is a regular on Shark Tank, Neil Patrick Harris judges So You Think You Can Dance, CNN remains silent on Piers Morgan's possible connection to the now closed News of the World...Ruben Studdard signs a new deal, Sara Bareilles goes to The Sing Off, Betty White is nominated for an Emmy for hot in Cleveland...Jeff Schroeder goes after Dumbledore's Sexuality, Jeff Sutphen goes with YouSphere, and Emily Maynard may be your next Bachelorette.

Gordon: Chico will be happy, but none of them are the Hoes of the week.
Rob: So, who is?
Gordon: Your hoes are the new season of Project Runway's Season 9 cast. That, along with a naked Heidi Klum. In addition, we have Christina Ricci, Kim Kardashain, Zoe Saldana, and Malin Akerman showing up as guest judges. So we have a LOT of hoes for Season 9.
Rob: Yeah, it's ho-tastic.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes. And that's Brainvision. Shut it down.

(GOOD)

Chico: Josh, go cold.
Josh: Ten-four. (begins shutdown sequence)
Jason: Shutting Down
Chico: When we come back, we go hot on DVRs, but first... I feel like giving things...Can you help me present Presents?
Jason: I think I can.
Josh: It's Christmas in July!
Chico: Indeed Josh! You're reading We Love to Interrupt... You give us 22 minutes....
Gordon: ...and Rob and I will come up with 22 unspeakable evils to plague Chico, Josh and Jason with. Like Those Funny Little People with machetes.
Josh: ....creepy.
Jason: Very creepy

(Brainvision is presented by Probst Blue Ribbon... the Cadillac of reality beers. When you want to get really hammered, but not spend a lot of money)

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