Episode 27.1 - I Don't Feel Like Dancing, No Sir, No Dancing Today
June 6

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and if the sun is out, the leaves are green, and...achoo...the pollen is out...cough cough cough... then Summer - and my allergies - are here. Cough...gag...wheeze...
Chico: *tosses a bottle of Allegra* Breathe, man... Chico Alexander here, and luckily I have no such issues... at least not anymore.
Gordon: You will.
Chico: In about 9 months. Until then, I've got bigger fish to fry. Double Dream Hands Man still lives, and is still annoying. More on him and other more ons, because from somewhere in America, the 27th season of We Love to Interrupt... is... ON!
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Chico: Again, thank you for being a part of our weekend and allowing our weekend to be a part of you.
Gordon: Gordon Pepper here, and we start the show not with a premiere, but with some finales.
Chico: Yay finale. Which finale would this be?
Gordon: We start with The Ultimate Fighter.
Chico: Another stellar end to another stellar season.
Gordon: Even though it looked like it was going to be a Brock Lesnar turkey, it's one of his guys that wins the whole thing.
Chico: Tony Ferguson by knockout. 3:54 of round 1. Not even a contest.
Gordon: The nice thing about both finalists this time around is that none of their matches during the season went to a decision. This one didn't, either.
Chico: Again, not even a whole round.
Gordon: Yes, but it was a great match for the 3:54 that we did get.
Chico: Yep. And again, a great coda to a great season. We get #14 in September, and I know who the coaches are.
Gordon: Do tell.
Chico: We have middleweight Jason "Mayhem" Miller. You've seen him on American Ninja Warrior and Bully Beatdown.
Gordon: As one of the beat downers.
Chico: Yep. He'll face off against former TUF contestant Michael Bisping. He won season 3. This will be his SECOND season as coach. His first season was US vs. UK. The UK won and won big.
Gordon: I believe it was almost a complete squash, with a UK Vs. UK match in the main event.
Chico: Yep. Bisping is a really great coach who takes no BS, but don't count out Mayhem. He's a seasoned professional who takes as good as he gives, too.
Gordon: Here's the problem I have with Mayhem. He's not a veteran of the show. If his talent finding skills aren't good, this could get ugly quickly.
Chico: Still, I've found that travelers are more seasoned, more diverse in their approach. Mayhem may have an advantage in that department. We'll see what happens come September 14.
Gordon: We shall see. And it would behoove us to not comment about the beginnings of these talent shows if we didn't give some love to the end of one of our favorites.



Chico: This week, it's America's Best Dance Crew with a finale unlike any other, held on the red carpet of the MTV Movie Awards. Or rather spliced into the MTV Movie Awards red carpet. Now call me a skeptic...
Gordon: Cal I call you a cab instead?
Chico: HA. But the only reason I see this happening... propping up the numbers for the MTV Movie Awards... which I see as being less and less relevant every year. Case in point - It is now 7:30 on the east, when the ABDC finale was supposed to begin. I have yet to see Mario Lopez or any dancing. No Mario, no IaMmE, no Iconic Boyz. It's two minutes in before it actually begins.
Gordon: The event is to run from 7:30 - 9pm. When do you think we'll get the results?
Chico: I'm saying RIGHT BEFORE 9. Because MTV's... like that.
Gordon: 8:59. What else happens tonight that is a sure bet to get the young viewers?
Chico: Oversized commercials for Twilight and Teen Wolf... both of which are sure to suck.
Gordon: What else NOT ON MTV is going to lure the young kids?
Chico: Fox's Animation Domination.
Gordon: No
Chico: ... X-Men?
Gordon: No
Chico: ... OH! The Mavs/Heat game. Duh.
Gordon: Yes. Lebromania. It was either that or the Ashley picks out her fake corsage Bachelorette special.
Chico: I have Heat in 6, by the way.
Gordon: I'll go Dallas in 6.
Chico: But there you go. It's either the Movie Awards or epic basketball. ABDC seems to be more popular than either, so let's bring THAT in! And then let's watch the moneys. So far, we're 20 minutes into the finale, and all we've seen is a performance from season 5 champs Poreotix, with Quest Crew, We Are Heroes, Supercr3w, and the first ABDC Jabbawockeez to perform before we get to a winner. I'm a fan of the Challenge and Silent Library... but seriously, MTV... eff you.
Gordon: And of course, it's not live.
Chico: Of course.
Gordon: This is all sort so tape-delayed filled into the show. So we could do a recap...but it would be much more entertaining to make fun of it. Big Bored please?

Gordon: The Subject: Filler that we save you from.
Chico: 1. Poreotix performing frat party antics to Rebecca Black's "Friday".
Gordon: 2. We Are Heroes doing an act with ropes that reminds me of Circus of the Stars. 3. Lil' Mama trying to get the Lady Gaga gay population behind her despite her bashing gays and a transvestite dancer during Season 3 of ABDC.
Chico: "Hi. I'm Lil Mama. I'm a tool."
Gordon: "I know who pays my bills." BTW, I predict I Am Me to win. Because: 4. the team that is NOT safe the week before is 5-0 in the Finale.
Chico: I do agree with you on that logic. And I think that I aM mE has the edge in that aspect... but just so I can say I made things interesting, ICONic Boyz have NEVER been in danger. I don't see them being in danger tonight.
Gordon: 3 of the 5 second place finishers were never in danger.
Chico: Whoever gets the crown tonight would've deserved it surviving the Season of the Superstars.
Gordon: And we deserve something for surviving the MTV Movie Awards pre-game show.
Chico: Which is basically what this is... you know, with a little ABDC sprinkled in. No seriously, MTV... Eff you and eff anyone who looks like you.
Gordon: I'll go for an F U as well.
Chico: The finale delivered 2.6 million viewers overall. I couldn't tell you how this was compared to last year's red carpet, because I don't know. This whole spectacle just feels forced upon me. Forced into another show. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea?
Gordon: The people that knew us fans of ABDC would be stuck watching this. Though it wouldn't surprise me if the ratings dipped after 9pm
Chico: Yep. Especially since that's when... oh, the game starts. By the way, should mention on the judges table, D-Trix, an alumnus of Quest Crew.
Gordon: Yes, which leads us to...5. D'Trix slobbers all over his old dance crew.
Chico: Yep. ... and 6. did I just see a Supercr3w ninja?
Gordon: Or was it a pirate?
Chico: Nope, it was a ninja.
Gordon: 7. A nation of Jabberwockeez (with some of them screwing up their lines) show us why they didn't make the cut of America's Got Talent.
Chico: That, and they didn't sing.
Gordon: And we get a Mini-Wockee
Chico: Would that be an e-Wockee?
Gordon: Point, Chico.
Chico: whatWHAT =p. 8. Both crews dancing one more time. Trivia: If IaMmE wins, they'll be the first southern crew to win. If ICONic Boyz wins, they'd be the youngest winners of ABDC ever.
Gordon: 9. YOUTH has made a statement (or the little 14 year old girlies who vote love the 14 year old boys)
Chico: They wouldn't be the youngest winners of a talent show, though, thank you Bianca Ryan.
Gordon: 10. Glee 3-D makes me want to hurl.
Chico: They were better in 2-D... and slightly less exposed and back when it was just me and 10 other guys... and 3 girls. And finally... THE WINNER. Mario Lopez, it is yours...

"Fifty million votes are in, and the crew that will take home the $100,000 and the title of America's Best Dance Crew is.... .... I AM ME!"

Gordon: And history holds serve.
Chico: and here's Randy Jackson to present the banner.
Gordon: Thank you, Randy. So we go from the finales...to the beginning.
Chico: The beginning of yet another singing contest and yet another reality show on Bravo. This one they've been pushing hard. It's called "Platinum Hit", and what happens is that 12 singer/songwriters are competing for a recording AND a publishing deal. Guiding them along the way - some hack by the name of Jewel.
Gordon: If Jason Block was here, he'd boot you in the head for saying that.
Chico: I say that out of love, by the way. And picking apart their performances/writing, some OTHER hack by the name of Kara DioGuardi.
Gordon: ...I'll let you get away with that one.
Chico: Every round consists of two challenges: the quickfire challenge and the elimination challenge. With the bottom placers facing the judges' table... Wait a minute...
Gordon: Watched Top Chef too much, eh?
Chico: The point is valid. Two challenges: a hook challenge and a performance challenge. Bottom team faces the judges, someone goes home.
Gordon: In this case. The singers come up with lyrics, then team up to finish the song. The worst teammate from the worst song gets booted.
Chico: Let's start with the good.
Gordon: We finally found a show that makes Kara sound competent. Kara and Jewel actually come off well.
Chico: Well, it helps that it's prerecorded and the pressure of being on the most popular show in the nation is gone. They do know their roles and fit them perfectly.
Gordon: I agree. Editing makes anyone look good, usually. In addition to that, if you're in the know, you'll like some of the demystification that goes along in the series.
Chico: Agreed. Like if you ever grew up writing lyrics and wanted a career in it *raises hand*, you get an inside look.
Gordon: It does a decent job with that. And the talent is pretty good.
Chico: It's hard by yourself, let alone a group of other people. And the talent is pretty good. They really get to the heart of it and they take to the challenges like water off a frog's back.
Gordon: Jackie Tohn, who got the nepotism buzzer from us before we saw the show, proves herself quite nicely.
Chico: How about the others who got the nepotism buzz?
Gordon: For the most part, they were good. Some of the personalities though...sheesh.
Chico: Again, it's reality TV. Someone's gotta be annoying, because you do need people to root for.
Gordon: And don't go stealing melody lines from other songs. You WILL get called out on it.
Chico: I'm glad someone pointed that out.
Gordon: The show, however, does hit some bum notes.
Chico: Getting into the bad.
Gordon: #1. You'll find as much originality here as you'll find in an album of American Idol cover songs sung by Justin Guarini.
Chico: For a show built upon creativity, the format is not that creative. It's a reality competition series on Bravo. That's all you need to know.
Gordon: #2. And this to me is the bigger problem here - lack of player demystification.
Chico: Do explain, sir.
Gordon: We see some of the people being wacky and screamy-shouty. What the producers / hosts don't say is that why these things are acceptable. We don't get enough of a justification of why these people are doing what they are doing. And as a result, more of the players come off as unlikable where they shouldn't be judged as such. We get into the mindset of the singers, but we don't get into their soul.
Chico: We'd like to know why they're there before they get all... crazy.
Gordon: And may I add that if you're doing a competition where you have to write about L.A., it should not be enough just to have 'L.A.' somewhere in the song. Give us a little about the town, please.
Chico: It would help matters much if you could think about why you're there in LA. After all, LA is "the entertainment capital of the world".
Gordon: Some sort of creative word play would be nice.
Chico: The "boulevard of broken dreams"
Gordon: Exactly.
Chico: Someone should remember what Jigga did with "Empire State of Mind" and go about it with LA.
Gordon: So - your grade, sir?

	PLATINUM HIT Bravo - 10p ET Mondays
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C-	C-	C-

Chico: It's actually better than I thought it would be. But it really misses the mark in places where marks should not be missed. So for me: C-.
Gordon: I'm going to give it 2 grades.
Chico: Alrighty.
Gordon: First of all, I personally enjoyed the show. So from that aspect, it gets a B. However, part of my job as a reviewer is to see the show from the masses perspective. The show clearly did not do a good enough job of bringing the mainstream audience into their world. And as I am a reviewer for them as well, the show gets a C-. It's the same rationale I gave for giving a high grade for Lingo. The masses will enjoy the changes to the show, while the hard core gamers like Jason from last week thought it was blasphemous.
Chico: Now that makes sense. So if you were not who you are... which is a scion of the music industry...
Gordon: As a scion, I liked it. The problem is that it didn't do for it's profession what Top Chef and Project Runway are so successful at doing for theirs.
Chico: I feel you there. I know a lot about the music as well having studied it for a good long time. If I didn't, I wouldn't know a coda from a hook. But I'm not reviewing it as a music aficionado, I'm reviewing it as a TV aficionado, hence the C-.
Gordon: Do you get hooked with America's Got Talent?
Chico: Come on, you know I always do. America's Got Talent is back. We had some great acts opening up season 6, and then we had....



Chico: Let's start with the people who are no closer to Vegas than your run of the mill Joe, starting with the first of what I believe to be MANY YouTube hoes... Double Dream Hands Man AKA John Jacobson.
Gordon: Do we have to, Daddy?
Chico: We have to, Daddy. If you've never seen the video... You're in luck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qTY73Ruq_E

Gordon: And if you value your lunch, you won't click on the link.
Chico: Luckily the judges gave it the triple X before it got too drastic.
Gordon: But enough about the people we will never see again. Were there any acts that you think would win the whole thing?
Chico: There are a couple of acts worth watching. We had ONE really good dance troupe in Miami All-Stars. Basically a fusion of any Latin dance you can think of. And then there's an act that harkens back to Fighting Gravity from last year, Team iLuminate. They'd be pretty good if I didn't see it before in the MJ tribute on the BET Awards.
Gordon: Which means, since they aren't a singing act, that iLuminate has zero chance to win.
Chico: Getting to the singers, we only had ONE worth watching, Ryan Andreas. Even though he did sing "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan.
Gordon: He does fit the mold of 'aw shucks' singers who have zero experience, but I have a feeling we'll get better talent on this series. I do not think we've seen the winner yet.
Chico: And one magician that just blew me away. Landon Swank took a lady into his box, laid her flat and folded her backwards.
Gordon: He was good. Unless he starts singing while doing his act, he won't win.
Chico: True.
Gordon: Cause America only votes for singers.
Chico: Interesting how we only got one singer out of these two hours. Well, one GOOD singer. But yes, unless you can vocalize, your road to AGT glory is uphill. BUT not totally unattainable. Just remember that age old showbiz axiom: keep them wanting more. I will say that ArcAttack from last year did a number with Adam Savage recently... the Doctor Who theme. I thought it was awesome, so like any talent show, just because you lose, doesn't mean you're a loser.
Gordon: Yes it does.
Chico: Shut it. Any standouts on your end?
Gordon: Actually, for once, I agree with your choices. Just like the judges, for the most part, agreed on our picks on The Voice.
Chico: Yay.



Chico: This week, we heard the last four voices before the public vote. And for once, the judges gave us a show. First battle: Jeff Jenkins vs. Casey Desmond, the song was "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me." We called Jeff, Jeff won. EASY.
Gordon: (DING)
Chico: Xenia Martinez vs. Sara Oromchi, the song "I'll Stand By You", the unofficial Alexander family anthem... We called Xenia, Xenia won. EASY.
Gordon: (DING)
Chico: Next was Cherie Oakley vs. Lily Elise, the song "Since U Been Gone" which I think violates the reality/music continuum, being that the original artist was an alum of some other show. We called Cherie, Lily won. Oh Christina.... Christina with the crazy picking again.
Gordon: (BUZZ)
Chico: To be fair, she was the only one who wanted those two. But Lily only got by after a do-over, so it was kinda forced... Seriously, Christina?
Gordon: It really doesn't matter, since I didn't see the winner of this match advancing very far.
Chico: And finally... Emily Valentine vs. Curtis Grimes, the song "Need You Now"... Love that song. We called Curtis. Curtis won. Really big battle that one. Really big song.
Gordon: (DING)
Chico: So now we get the power as we move to the finale at the end of the month. I'm guessing it's going to be the lowest player from each team getting the boot resulting in four going home. If it follows the Voice from Holland format.
Gordon: That would be my thought. So let's speculate. Big Board please?

Gordon: The Subject: Here are your teams. Chrstina: Frenchie Davis, Beverly McClellan. Raquel Castro, Lily Elise. Thoughts on this team?
Chico: I don't see how Frenchie loses for this team. I just don't. The other three are just trying to avoid early eliminations.
Gordon: This is a real walk for Frenchie here. It's like Christina and the mini-mes.
Chico: Basically. Next, Team Cee-Lo...
Gordon: Vicci Martinez, Nakia, Tori / Taylor Thompson, Curtis Grimes.
Chico: This one is SLIGHTLY tougher. The Thompson girls are going to have their fanbase. But will they be enough to top the twin talents of Vicci Martinez and Curtis Grimes?
Gordon: I'm going to say yes. I think they edge out Martinez to make it to the finals, but I don't think they win it. Next up: Adam Levine's posse: Casey Weston, Javier Colon, Devon Barley, Jeff Jenkins.
Chico: I see a head-to-head between Jeff and Javier in my future, and it looks awesome.
Gordon: I agree. It's a pity they are on the same team.
Chico: This could've been an awesome final.
Gordon: I think the Jeff/Javier winner wins the whole thing.
Chico: I agree. Unless Frenchie decides that she wants to play.
Gordon: And Jason Block, if you're reading this, don't you dare agree with us. Pick someone else to win it.
Chico: Finally, Blake has his four... Patrick Thomas, Jared Blake, Dia Frampton, Xenia Martinez. It's a battle of the unknowns. It's Who?! vs. Who?! vs. Who?! vs. No, Seriously... WHO?!
Gordon: The only person who I give a chance to make it to the finals is Thomas... should he make the finals.
Chico: Patrick will make the finals. He is NEVER going to win it, though. The talent pool is just too big.
Gordon: and I'll give Dia an outside shot to get to the finals, but no shot to win it. So that's who we think.
Chico: But the winner from Blake's team will get eaten alive, regurgitated, and eaten again.
Gordon: Not necessarily. It depend on who makes it from his group and how much they have grown.
Chico: It'll be fun to watch AND since we have a results show now... I get to make up another points competition.
Gordon: Yay!
Chico: Which I'll win, because let's face it. I'm sexy like that.
Gordon: Um...you have to beat the 2 time Idol defending champ, Mr. Sexy.
Chico: Yeah yeah like that's hard. While we're on things that are hard... Apparently Race Game is hard...
Gordon: Race Game is easy. People who get picked on the show for following directions, apparently, is hard.
Chico: We don't have a TPIR morons graphic, do we?



Chico: .... we do now. Okay, Gordon, Please explain the rules of Race Game. For the three or four people who don't know.
Gordon: You have 4 prizes. You have four price tags. Put the price tags ON THE RACKS next to the prize and then come back and pull the lever down.
Chico: Right. Then you get the number right, 0, 1, 2, or 4.
Gordon: If it's not 4, make changes.
Chico: And you only have 45 seconds... And unwritten rule... Flip flops are not advised.
Gordon: Neither is dropping the price tags on the floor. But apparently, someone thinks TPIR has a shoestring budget.
Chico: That may or may not be true, but rules are rules. Enter one Judith Cujo. She wins her way up on stage and rather than racking the four tags onto the four racks, she drops them on the floor in front of the racks, leaving the models to do all the grunt work. Now they don't get enough credit, but... COME ON NOW?!
Gordon: Cujo is appropriate, because her gameplay was for the dogs.
Chico: Nice one. Now here's where it gets all supernatural and stuff... I'll give you the prizes and the prices, you play it out.
Gordon: Ok.
Chico: The prices:

$849
$1475
$2497
$3600

Chico: The prizes: an HDTV, a riding lawn mower, a washer/dryer, and a treadmill. I'll even spot you the 45 seconds. =p
Gordon: We'll go Treadmill $849, Washer/Dryer $1,475 HDTV $2,497 and Lawn Mower $3,600 (Pulls on Lever)

2

Chico: Go go go!
Gordon: Treadmill $849, Washer/Dryer $1,475 Lawn Mower $2,497 and HDTV $3,600 (Pulls on Lever)

4 (DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING!)

Gordon: YAY! Where's my stuff?
Chico: Judith's got it. She stole it. Basically.
Gordon: Even though she plopped the tags on the floor?
Chico: She dropped the $1,475 tag in front of the washer/dryer and was ruled incorrect on it. Because it may have disadvantaged her, TPTB award her all four prizes. BUT... here's where I have the issue. Big Bored, please?

Gordon: Subject: The UNamazing Race Game
Chico: First of all, it's not a hard concept to grasp. You put the tag on the rack. And you see in the video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKTEpxZJxLM&feature=channel_video_title

Chico: ... you see the models put the tags on the rack after you drop'em. That should be a pretty big clue that you're doing it wrong.
Gordon: What Drew should have done is stop her and start the game over.
Chico: Basically. But that wouldn't help her with #2.... She spent too much time looking at the peanut gallery.
Gordon: The peanut gallery will not help you in a timed game. All they do is help take time off the clock.
Chico: You only get 45 seconds. The audience ate a good chunk of that. And #3... The name of the game is Race Game, which means if you stand around doing nothing, you're probably not going to win.
Gordon: It's the turtle version.
Chico: I like turtles, but not when I should be seeing little blue hedgehogs.
Gordon: You know, the only question is why didn't we have this section earlier.
Chico: I have no idea!
Gordon: I would give her a dirty rug, except she wins the Showcase Showdown.
Chico: And then she wins the Showcase. That. Doesn't. Happen.
Gordon: Well it does. it just shouldn't.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: I mean Rob the Cash Cow was moving faster than Judith - and he's a cow.
Rob the Cash Cow: Moo.
Chico: Hopefully he doesn't move too slow for the news...
Gordon: Grazing time. I'll give him some price tags to munch on.
Chico: You do that. A happy cow is a... happy cow. And before we milk this transition further..
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thank you Doug Morris.
Gordon: That was on the border of getting udderly absurd
Chico: Ha.
Gordon: Let's start with a Datebook
Chico: No bull?
Gordon: No bull. and no Moosic debuts either.
Chico: But we may have beef... the good AND the bad kind.

Food Network Star (which should have lots of beefy recipes) is on June 5. On June 6th se get new seasons of Baggage (Beefy guys with even beefier secrets), Lingo (Some people have beefs with this show) and MasterChef (chock full of edible beef)

Chico: Well, it remains to be seen whether any of the beef on MasterChef is edible, but they'll give it their best go. You know, hardly a turkey amongst these four. They're all good in their aspects... Should be a great week.
Gordon: True. And Drew the Bookworm is out with his ruler again.
Chico: Oh no.
Gordon: ixnay on the unpays. (Gives Chico an atbay)
Chico: You're gonna love this one.

NBC is bringing back Fear Factor. They're hoping to do it up bigger than before.

Gordon: I am going to love it, actually. And it's a smart move. You have a new generation that can turn into the very cheap-to-produce show.
Chico: Yep. And also one that is built-in in case something falters... and let's face it. It's NBC. Something's gonna falter.
Gordon: And you can't do a 5 day a week, 20 hour version of The Voice.
Chico: Funny that you mentioned that.

The Voice has been given the money slot after Super Bowl XLVI, which airs on NBC.... IF it is indeed played.

Chico: A BIG if there.
Gordon: I think they'll get it done.
Chico: I think so. I hope they do. Even if it's an abbreviated season, it means SOME football.
Gordon: If they can't a deal done, it would be extremely stupid.
Chico: They'll get one done up against it. It seems like they always do. Or it seems like it always plays out like that.
Gordon: But we have plenty of stupid right here.
Chico: We always do.

Are YOU Smarter than...Snooki? The former Silent Library contestant lost her license after hitting a car in Italy. Not just any ordinary old car. A POLICE car.

Chico: Oy.
Gordon: How do you say Oy in Italian?
Chico: Che idiota. Possiamo per favore sbarazzarsi di lei? (What an idiot. Can we possibly lose her?)
Gordon: That works. BTW, the cast has picked up 300 Euros in fines and the people she hit were assigned by the police to PROTECT her.
Chico: I think we have had enough of the Jersey Shore folks. If I may... Fame is one thing. Ill-gotten fame is another. But when you become known for being known, and then translate into getting into trouble, I have a problem with that.
Gordon: Ask Paris Hilton that. Her latest show is in danger of being axed. After 1 episode.
Chico: Wouldn't surprise me if it was.
Gordon: Well then neither should this.

We get our first multi-million dollar poker lawsuit. This one comes from Phil Ivey, who sues Full Tilt poker for 120 million and decides to not attend this year's World Series of Poker. FTP responds that the only reason why he's doing this is that a bunch of people are about to throw a lawsuit at him, adding that he would be badgered for money if he shows up to the WSOP to play. This is getting nasty.

Chico: See, this is a case of one person trying to do the right thing and then someone else trying to fight it. Seriously, FTP? For real?
Gordon: Meanwhile the PPA (Professional Poker Association) is trying to get FTP to pay up all the money they owe the players. FTP isn't doing such, which leads people to believe that they already spent it.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: As for me, I took almost all of my money out of my account a long time ago and left a little in there just in case FTP reopens in the states
Chico: Which it has not as of yet.
Gordon: Now usually Chico would suggest they just hug it out, which is fine. Just make sure that these 2 don't do the hugging.



After 5 years, Christopher Knight and America's Next Top Model Season 1 winner Adrienne Curry have called it splitsville.

Chico: Citing the old reliable "Irreconcilable differences." Who saw this one coming? *raises hand*
Gordon: Since that goes over so well in the press. Phil Ivey obviously needs a vacation.
Chico: How about India? Is India good for you?
Gordon: Sounds good to me.

This week, India is getting not one new version of "Millionaire", but TWO.

Gordon: Oooh.
Chico: One is for the Bhojpuri audience hosted by Shatrughan Sinha, while the other is for the Bengali audience hosted by Sourav Ganguly. A familiar analog would be when Deal or No Deal blew up and a Spanish-language version was launched in the US. The original KBC is still very much popular in that country.
Gordon: Right. Hopefully it will do better than what the Spanish version did.
Chico: Hopefully.
Gordon: You expect media hoes showing up?
Chico: I always do. (plays "Pimpin' All Over the World")

In this weeks Media Ho Report, All of the Idol judges will be back for Season 11, Regis Philbin gets into the Broadcasters Hall of Fame's 2011 class, Watson is named 'Person' of the Year... Kristin Chenoweth will sing for CMT's Next Superstar, Mario Lopez gets in trouble for his Cabana Pool, Joey Fatone does AC's Let's Make a Deal Live... Bentley is deemed the Worst Bachelorette Contestant ever, Paris Hilton's New Show Bombs, and just to show how much Cara and Brett were hated on the Biggest Loser, the production company brings in ANOTHER new trainer for next year - Dolvett Quince.

Chico: Whose clientele includes OMGJUSTINBIEBER. Bob Harper also expected back, BTW.
Gordon: Which is good. He's a good trainer. But none of them are the ho of the week.
Chico: Who is it?
Gordon: It's Scotty McCreery. His 'I Love You This Big' coronation song sold over 171,000 units and easily outdid Lee DeWyze and Kris Allen combined. On a side note, so did Lauren Alaina.
Chico: The blanket statement being... "No Scotty.... We love YOU this big."
Gordon: AwwwwBarf. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And the blanket statement to country radio who is currently scoffing Mr. McCreery... take notice. And finally, Let's get loaded.
Gordon: Fart.

Did you know you can try out for three shows currently using your webcam, your Youtube account, and some clever editing to make you more interesting than you really are? There's America's Got Talent (Youtube.com/AGT), Family Feud (familyfeud.com), and now... The X Factor (Youtube.com/TheXFactorUSA).

Chico: Unfortunately, Gordon, Jason and I can't get "Q&A" together for a number of reasons, most of which are logistical.... and one of which is that Drew Carey beat us to it. I shake my fist at you..
Gordon: Chico needs a hug?
Chico: I need a hug.
Gordon: Aw. While I give Chico a hug. We're shutting down BrainVision.
Chico: *fobs* Still to come, part 2 of the only review on the web that comes with 2000 Flushes. But first..
Gordon: First, we shift with our 5's. Sounds pervy, but it's not. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 talents that we haven't seen on AGT - or want to. Ladybug Wrangling, anyone?
Chico: Live decapitations!
Gordon: I'd want to see that. I have a list of people who I could volunteer.
Chico: Me too. But we won't go into it here.

(BrainVision has been brought to you by So You Think You Can Eat. Forget losing weight. Contestants need to gain weight to they can date a sumo wrestler. First contestant who explodes wins.)

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