Episode 27.11 - 1 + 1 = 3?
August 15

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I hear that Jason Block has a question.
Jason: Gordon, I have a question
Gordon: Yes Jason?
Jason: Is 1+1 = 3?
Gordon: If you're in the Big Brother house...yes. Yes it is.
Jason: What about the moon being made of green cheese?
Gordon: Actually, the moon is made out of a collection of colored balls and people pulling down their pants.
Jason: (takes notes)
Chico: Okay, the point we're trying to make here... the average reality show contestant has a lot in common with a D student in that they're both... below average in the smarts department.
Jason: But this week....the bell curve got got.
Chico: The bell curve got GOT alright. Usually, I'd laugh. This week... I cried.
Jason: My phone and FB page exploded
Gordon: We'll get to that, and a host trying to choke a contestant out, as from somewhere in America, this week's edition of WLTI...is...ON!
Jason: WHOO HOO
Chico: Yay!
Gordon: My co-host, Chico Alexander, is here.
Chico: Present.
Gordon: Jason Block, who no one wants to choke out...well here, anyways...is here, also.
Jason: Here!
Chico: Great to have you. Lot to go over, so we'll start with a bunch of morons cohabitating a studio built to look like a domicile. Or as we call it...



Chico: Now in the history of reality TV, there have been a lot of moves that we would classify as... dumb. And yet the people who perform them are convinced that they're not dumb. Then when the results come in and they're out, they're honestly shocked and appalled.
Jason: James not using 2 immunity idols on Survivor
Chico: Bradford giving up his immunity on The Apprentice.
Gordon: Erik giving his immunity up on Survivor
Chico: I think we have our new champion this week in Lawon Exum.
Gordon: Thursday's moment will join those other moments in game show infamy.
Chico: Let's rewind back to LAST Thursday, in which America got to determine which of the four evicted Big Brother houseguests got a chance to come back into the house. The evicted houseguest from this week would challenge them in a battle for a place in the house.
Gordon: Now one specific stud muffin correctly called that it would be Brendan that would get to go back into the house.
Chico: That would be you, wouldn't it?
Gordon: Amazingly, it would be, yes.
Chico: I'll give you a moment to act smug.
Gordon: No reason to now. I'll save it for later on in the show.
Chico: Okay. Now I don't recall how exactly, but Lawon got it in his head that the evicted houseguest was going to come back with "some sort of superpower."
Jason: It was the weed in the brownies LOL
Chico: That's your first mistake. Your second mistake came when Jeff won the POV and took himself off. You put yourself out there as a willing pawn to evict Rachel.
Chico: Gordon, remind me how pawns usually do in Big Brother.
Gordon: They usually get taken out by all of the other chess pieces on the board.
Chico: And this Thursday is no exception, as everyone votes for Lawon to exit.
Jason: Even Danielle.
Gordon: Well Rachel and the veterans have no problems voting an =enemy from their camp out.
Jason: Nope.
Chico: And neither does Porsche, who'll do whatever they tell them to. Leaving Shelly and Adam with... really no other choice.
Gordon: So Lawon is going out to slay the dragon, who he's hoping will be an easy competitor. The competitor is Brandon.
Chico: Now you would think that the lightbulb would finally come on when Lawon is called out to battle Brendon for the spot back in the house. But when they play out the battle, which is basically memory meets skeeball meets cornhole, Lawon doesn't even begin to try to keep up with Brendon. And when Brendon beats out Lawon, he's genuinely surprised at the outcome.
Jason: And everyone screams at the TV....YOU BIG SUCK JOB.
Chico: And so Lawon's ouster joins the ranks of...



Gordon: Pretty much. if they got rid of Rachel, the worst case scenario is that they level off or Brandon replaces Rachel in the house. Instead, the veterans are back in full force and the newbies are down to 3.
Chico: And that's one less newbie vote in the final as well.
Jason: And as of now...Adam and Shelly are on the block as Daniele wins HOH
Chico: I'm guessing Daniele has something sinister up her sleeve. As in "all I need one of you to do is win the Veto."
Gordon: Well the idea is such: If they win the veto, she can backdoor anyone she wants and she'll have the votes to eliminate them.
Chico: That's the plan.
Gordon: It's a ridiculously stupid plan
Chico: Tell us the problems with it.
Gordon: 1. If a veteran wins the veto, they are going to keep the nominees the same. 2. Even if Danielle backdoors Rachel or Brendan, all the veterans need is to flip ONE person.
Chico: Porsche.
Gordon: Exactly.
Chico: Rachel'll mindfreak her.
Jason: You blow through her ears and Porsche will flip
Gordon: The best way to do this is to go with this the old-fashioned way. Nominate 2 veterans and put the third one up if one of them wins the veto.
Jason: Should have been Rachel and Brendan straight up
Chico: That should've been done last week, but as we know, Kalia was equal parts bold and dumb.
Gordon: And here's something else to go into play. Shelly has a backdoor alliance with Jeff and Jordan, so if Shelly wins the veto and Danielle puts up a veteran, the veterans WILL have the votes needed to eliminate Adam. So all in all, this has the makings of a disastrous plan.
Chico: So basically, if you want to stay, win the veto. Then you could probably give a rat's patoot who gets voted out.
Gordon: Pretty much. If youre a veteran and win the veto, you can save Shelly by voting out Adam.
Chico: So basically, nothing's changed, except who's in the hot seat.
Gordon: We'll see what happens. There's always time for the bubbleheads to change their mind.
Chico: Yep. And speaking of bubbleheads with time to spare...



Chico: This week... it's the YouTube show!
Jason: TA-da
Chico: It's simple, really... All you needed was a YouTube account and a silly talent. And you got on the show.
Chico: Unfortunately, these 12 met BOTH criteria. Big Bored, please..

Chico: We're calling this one Playlist of Horrors. First up, TNC Elite. I've said it once, I'll say it again... AMERICA DOESN'T LIKE CLOGGERS!
Jason: No...it's too rural and nichey
Chico: Not to mention that it's very difficult to pull off perfectly.
Gordon: I don't mind cloggers. I have problem with cloggers not keeping in time with the beat, which is a cardinal sin.
Chico: They danced to I Gotta Feeling... and it was WAY TOO SLOW. You need to keep time with the song. The song doesn't need to keep time with you. So you know what I'm saying about the music then.
Gordon: Sure do.
Chico: Next, Brett Daniels. It's maaaaaagic.
Gordon: Slow arrogant trick that was clumsily done so we saw how it happened. Bad.
Chico: I totally saw where they did the whole painting switcheroo thing. That was just piss poor mechanics. It just struck me as a dance act with a LITTLE magic thrown in. Next, a real dog of an act. :-) Gabe Rocks is a dog.
Gordon: How do dog acts do again? Or animal acts in general?
Jason: Like the fire hydrant
Chico: I'll give you a hint. See that X on the stage? That wasn't the only X he got. I will say that the dog whizzing on the Piers standup was a nice touch. But everything else we've seen before. Next click: Aeon. Parkour is big on YouTube... maybe too big, because the AGT stage... small.
Gordon: I just thought it was the wrong act to bring. you had professor splash do his act outside. You should have the parkours do something bigger outside as well.
Chico: And if you ask me, there was too much. Didn't need the backup. Needed the extra space.
Gordon: Exactly.
Chico: I mean, you saw Jump City. It had moments, but it needed some space.
Gordon: Agreed.
Chico: Okay, now is Piers Morgan evil enough to buzz Breena Bell? Yes. Yes he is. But it wasn't undeserved. There was a certain lack of cohesiveness. There was no flow. Flow is very important. I don't know about you, but I was waiting on her to do the worm.
Gordon: Just being pretty and doing tricks isn't good enough anymore. you have to tell a story. Breena, while pretty and cute, didn't tell a story.
Chico: Agreed. And Piers was right, it was not a sustaining act.
Gordon: Agreed. Next?
Chico: Next, the show took a turn for the tolerable with singer Kevin Colis. He sang "The Lazy Song".
Jason: Good choice. Popular, fun.
Chico: Yep. No one can do that song like Bruno Mars, but a great choice played well.
Gordon: Good choice of song and he sang it very well. Wee finally get a hot guy with guitar (TM) into the second round.
Chico: But it would've been well if he didn't sing it so lazily. I mean, he was good, but not great. Next, another dancer, Beth Ann Robinson. I hope Breena Bell took notes, because this is how you do a dance act. She told a story and had a flow from start to finish.
Gordon: She did tell a story. That was her strong point. However, she needs to be stronger, from a moves standpoint, if she wants to make the Top 12.
Chico: Perhaps. Next, Gymkana...
Gordon: ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Chico: Ladders... flipping. Dead hangs.
Gordon: They got in. Fine. They can balance on ladders. great. They better bring something else to the party.
Chico: I guess it's good for the Cirque crowd, maybe.
Gordon: Cirque de Insomnia
Chico: Heh. Next: Kalani Basketball Freestyle
Gordon: Could we get Gymkana back on?
Jason: LOL
Chico: He's a one-man Harlem Globetrotter squad. Yippee. What else you got.... oh that's it? Sorry.
Gordon: The execution was poor, to say the least
Chico: Next, West Springfield Dance Team: Welcome to Steampunk Dancing with the Stars. I liked this act. But you know something? I liked it even better when FATALLY UNIQUE DID IT.
Gordon: There was no story being told for me. Sorry.
Chico: Sure there is. It's the story of Dead Set. In 90 seconds.
Gordon: Too bad the zombies didn't get them. Hopefully they can improve their game in the Wild Card Round.
Chico: NOW, what do you get when you cross Team ILuminate with the Smage Brothers? You get Matt Wilhelm, a light cyclist.
Jason: Damn,
Chico: It would really have been better if he found a way to make that little light trail behind him. Oh well. Still a pretty cool act to watch.
Gordon: We like flashing lights in the darkness, apparently.
Jason: That's the theme this year :)
Chico: Needed a little less street and a little more vert, though. Surprised no one used Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark as backing music.
Gordon: Give them time. We're not done with the season :)
Chico: Nope, but we're done with the show when we see... Powerhouse.
Gordon: I've never heard a more out of tune choir.
Chico: Let's get a little bit of Glee on this show. I got an idea! LET'S NOT!
Jason: NO!
Chico: That act made me feel dirty about being a show choir alum. They had the pep, but someone should've given them the notes.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: The tones and tunes were all wrong.
Chico: Gordon, you're also a veteran of musical performance?
Gordon: I am
Chico: Thoughts?
Gordon: That was one of the more painful choirs I've heard in a while.
Chico: It was all show, no choir.
Gordon: And they picked the absolute wrong song for their vocals.
Chico: So we're all tired of Firework then
Jason: Yeah
Chico: Adding to the list of "things banned from game shows": show choirs singing "Firework". Too early for "Edge of Glory", but the rest of the catalogue is fair game.
Gordon: Can we add anything from the Lady Ga-gag collection to that?
Chico: Wait until we cover the Sing Off in the fall.
Jason: ROFL
Chico: Okay, moving on from this heat: Hot Guy with Guitar (TM), Light Cycle Bike Show (TM), Gymkana, and in a 2-1 judge's decision... Beth Ann Robinson. Now... when the show REALLY gets hot... the Wild Card show. Gordon, I believe you have a list.
Gordon: As a matter of fact I do. Big Board please?

Gordon: The Subject: The Mild Card. Each judge gets 4 acts to bring back. now realize that not all acts have to be from the original 60.

Howie Mandel: The Fiddleheads, J, Chris Newberg, Those Funny Little Peoplke, Shevonne
Sharon Osbourne: Seth Grabel, West Springfield Dance Team, Kinetic King, Avery and the Calico Hearts
Piers Morgan: Summerwind Skippers, Charles Peachock, Yelow Designs Stunt Team, Landon Swank

Chico: So to review, we have a band, two singers, one "still-a-singer", two magicians, two dancers, one group of skippers, one juggler, a set of bikers, and the Kinetic King.
Jason: Blah
Chico: They REALLY don't want a musical act to win this thing, do they?
Jason: No they dont. They are basically hitting us over the head with it.
Chico: You look at the musical acts that did make wild card, and the best of the lot: the Fiddleheads. I think you're going to see the Fiddleheads, Landon, Shevonne, and in a 2-1 split between Summerwind Skippers and the real Chipettes of Orange County...
Jason: The real chipettes ROFL
Chico: Summerwind Skippers get in.
Gordon: I could see that
Chico: Because no one wants a singer to win this thing.
Gordon: Well, wait a second. I wouldn't mind it, since I predicted one to win :D
Gordon: But obviously the judges and producers don't.
Chico: Because, as stated before, we're all "Fireworked" out.
Gordon: But are we all singered out?
Chico: If we aren't by the end of the summer, we will be this time next year. One thing Gordon NEVER gets tired of... Media hoes. And now they're not just doing it for love or attention. They're doing it for money. *sigh*... It's Bachelor Pad time.
Gordon: WHOO HOO! And Chico gets to tell us all about it
Chico: Do I have to?
Jason: Yes
Gordon: I've got these nice nipple clamps looking for a home, if you prefer
Chico: ...Fine. Okay, the game hasn't changed from season 1, in that it's a giant game of musical beds with the people deemed least desirable going away. They compete in challenges for dates and immunity. Jake won a challenge and decided to go on a date with Vienna's nose. Meanwhile, the man Vienna's CURRENTLY shagging (Kasey) and Gia got the last rose from Jackie AND Jake, leaving Alli and Justin out of love, and out of money. All of this, and ABC saw it fit to give us three hours.
Jason: 3?
Chico: Three.
Gordon: No one wanted a Canadian Wrestler with an identity crisis, eh?
Chico: Nope. Which begs the question...REALLY, JAKE? You would want to go on a date with YOUR EX?
Jason: Maybe he was told to lol
Chico: Maybe he was. It's not like anyone is in this show for LOVE. Hell, I'm doubtful that they're in it for money.
Gordon: Oh no. Why would anyone want an extra $250,000?
Chico: I could make $250,000 kissing some guy in a two-piece and selling the photos to Us Weekly! So there you go. Three hours of my life I'll never get back.
Gordon: Well you know, once in a while I do have some heart. Since Chico decided to cover The Bachelor Pad, I decided to do him a solid and cover the premiere of Karaoke Battle USA
Jason: I was there too.
Gordon: Shush, Jason. You're ruining my heartwarming moment.
Jason: LOL
Chico: Let's see how heartwarming this gets.
Gordon: So me and Jason who found it in his heart to be a nice guy and help Chico from watching 2 hours of Karaoke competition. We were going to go after this to make a crusade to the north pole and feed the starving penguins there. That's how heartwarming it got.
Jason: Yes. While this smelt like summer burnoff...this had some moments of "Not bad"
Chico: Karaoke Battle USA (aka "Can we help Joey Fatone get a decent job for a change?")
Jason: Unfortunately this isn't it. The Xerox fumes here are stifling. Let's see if you have heard this before, judging competition (this time karaoke) for a recording contract and a shot at the 2011 World Karaoke Championships in September in Ireland. The judges are Joe Levy of Rolling Stone, Carnie Wilson...
Chico: So THAT'S why Sherri Shepherd took over on TNG. =p
Jason: Ha. And Brian "The Cowboy" Scott...who happens to be the 2009 World Karaoke Champion. Four audition rounds start in Las Vegas for the West Division. Men and Women compete to go into the Semi-final round. They are judged on 5 qualities: Rhythm & Tempo, Vocal Quality, Vocal pitch, Stage Presence and Overall Performance
Chico: Sounds about right.
Jason: But the as I said, everything here is a copy. The hosting, video packages, judging...NOT A DAMN THING new. Even the editing isnt new.
Gordon: No it's not. The only 'new' thing its that the Top 2 singers in each sex compete against each other for a spot. They take both a male and female winner.
Jason: This reeks of summer burnoff. The 2 hours DRAGGED.
Chico: I can see where people watching karaoke would be fun. After all, we had two game shows, both done well (one better than the other, obviously), and American Idol is just glammed up karaoke. But the problem I had... two hours? Really? It's a summer show. I don't need to see it for two hours.
Jason: And I was bored.
Gordon: I had a bunch of problems with it. The judges were not only unnecessary but provided nothing but pure glazed cheese.
Jason: ROFL
Gordon: You ever have glazed cheese?
Chico: I've never had glazed cheese.
Gordon: I'll glaze you some.
Chico: Glaze up a grade first.

	KARAOKE BATTLE USA ABC - 8p ET Friday
	GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D-	D-	D-	D-

Gordon: This was 2 hours too long. You could have made this an hour with 4 singers in each group going against each other with new judges. Yes, I wish I was watching a different show. D-.
Jason: Joey, you need a better agent. Everything about this show is D- for Dreck Minus.
Chico: Your Chance to Dance did this better. D-. If you're going to do karaoke, Do yourself a favor, grab a few friends, a few beers, and just pop in Rock Band or something.
Gordon: That would be a better thing to do on a Friday. So would knitting a sweater using steel wool, building a house of expired credit or ice skating on frozen lard while watching Milli Vanilli.
Jason: ROFLMAO
Chico: Or you can just watch people who think they can dance actually dance to a finale. Let's...



Chico: This Thursday America's Favorite Dancer was named. And would you believe that it was a complete and total unknown?
Jason: NOPE
Chico: Neither would I, but that's what happened. Georgia college student Melanie Moore gets the gold medal this year. If you think about it, it was either going to be Melanie or Marko, because they were the two best going into the final four. NEITHER of them was in the bottom, and both of them were able to adapt to the styles given.
Gordon: The right person won. Melanie was the most versatile of the dancers.
Chico: Yes she was. I mean, the moment I heard that Marko was eliminated in third, I knew she had it.
Jason: There you go
Chico: So it's a rare case of the best person winning it all.
Jason: Who knew it could happen?
Chico: Who knew indeed?
Gordon: The Hamsters did. They put up 'Melanie Rules' signs in the office.
Chico: Yes they did. Before we get into news time, though. There's still one more thing.



1) Have all of the changes made by Rich Sirop made for a better show this year than in seasons past?

Jason: I have said it before and I will say it again...HELL NO.
Gordon: Well, if you're talking about cutting the budget down...yes. They made the show seem easier and with more money to win, while it has done the opposite with less people getting the big money
Chico: From a budget standpoint, it's a good show.
Gordon: As a player, notsomuch. which leads us to this...

2) Will someone win at least $250,000 this season?

Jason: NO.
Chico: Call it a hunch, but I think someone stands a better than fair chance of winning $250K this year.
Gordon: I think with the people playing the game now seeing one year worth of strategy, someone will get up there and do it. So I'll say yes to $250,000.
Chico: It's doable on the Facebook. Just saying. Next..

3) What effect will doubling one of the Round 1 questions have on the overall timbre of the show?

Chico: They're introducing "Double Your Money Days", where at random, one of the questions, at random, will be worth double the cash. So any one question at any one time could be worth as much as $50,000.
Jason: Not going to make a damn difference. It's gimmicky
Gordon: It could mean that less people will be inclined to gamble if they have, potentially, a stack worth more than the $100,000 level.
Chico: So we're making an already random-ass game even more random-ass. So you could have up to $90,000, maybe more... and then have an opportunity to risk $65,000 of it to win $10,000 more? Nuh-uh. Jump to the next question.

4) Is the Facebook game (where 10 people play and the Top 3 go to the bonus round) a better format than the TV show?

Chico: Same format, better execution. Could be its own series.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: Bring back the ring of fire! *raises fist defiantly*
Jason: RING OF FIRE!
Gordon: I do like that as a Ring of Fire gimmick, then the Top 3 play and that could be your weeks worth of shows right there.
Chico: Now that would be appointment television. New meaning to the term Fastest Finger First. And now the final question...

5) Last season, Millionaire averaged a 2.3 and was (shocker) the fourth-most-watched game show in syndication. This season, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire will average...

Jason: A 2.0
Gordon: I'll go with 2.0
Chico: About right, yeah.
Gordon: Well the 2.3 is ok, but being that it was a 2.9 as recent as 2 years ago - that's not great.
Chico: We'll get into why it was the fourth-most-watched next week, but still, a 2.3 is not a red flag. A yellow flag at best. It'll easily come back for 2012-2013. Beyond that... who knows.
Gordon: The hamsters came up with a question for Chico.
Chico: Can't wait for this one.

What would you recommend to the Hamsters as must see TV?

A. Bachelor Pad
B. The Bachelor
C. The Bachelorette
D. Ken Jen and Amanda's Beach Blanket Lingo

Jason: lol
Chico: D. The other three are good. For you to poop on.
Gordon: Hey Ken Jen - Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage!

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thank you, Doug. Great job as always First up, that van has a green light on top of it.

Van as in "repo van", as Spike reups "Repo Games" for a second season to bow in 2012.

Jason: Good choice
Chico: It's either gotten better or gotten cheaper. My answer is... yes.
Gordon: It's cheap programming that fills space and does reasonably well in the ratings.
Jason: Because it's GOOD trainwreck TV
Chico: See? Everyone wins.
Jason: I mean someone got SHOT at on this show.
Chico: This is real deal Holyfield on this.
Jason: Someone got SHOT AT for trying to make this show for your entertainment :)
Chico: You better enjoy it. Meanwhile, I have a baseball bat with an eye on fire.
Jason: That's a very interesting graphical bat
Chico: I know a guy.
Jason: What's this button for? (presses it and the eye goes on fire) DAMN! You DO know a guy...

September 14. Mark your calendars, it's the premiere of Survivor South Pacific... and then the finale of Big Brother 13.

Jason: Morons on the island...after morons in the house :)
Chico: And just like last year, we have 16 new castaways, and 2 old ones.
Jason: I am looking forward to see WHO the old ones are.
Chico: And on a related note, Samoa passed tax incentives related to the show taping this season and next on the island.
Jason: So we might see Samoa on the show for a while
Gordon: Smart move by Samoa.
Chico: Very.
Jason: I agree totally. Its a win win
Gordon: We could have more winners in this weeks Datebook
Chico: WE could...

Or maybe not, as we have VH1's Ton of Cash on Wednesday

Jason: Oh man I have to watch THAT? :)
Chico: AAAAAAAAHHHYeah. I'll get the chair ready for you, J. We call it "The Danger Chair". Because usually you're sitting in it when something dangerous is on TV.
Gordon: It's the one with the spikes and the funny metal round cylinder on top with a wire connecting it to the wall.
Jason: I noticed.
Gordon: Whoo hoo. Lets get loaded.
Chico: Hic.

Who doesn't love Starcade? Now imagine playing Starcade on them internets in a social network setting. That's what's going to happen with MyStarcade bowing August 28. More info is available at the show's official website at Starcade.TV

Chico: And you're humming Mindseed's iconic theme right now, aren't you.
Jason: Of course I am :)
Gordon: I Got a bonus entry



Chico: I like bonuses.

Want to play Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? Well it's on Facebook. Wanna play the game which suspiciously feels like Millionaire? Well that's because it was created by he same company.

Chico: That would be Ludia, by the way.
Gordon: That's your favorite game company, isn't it?
Chico: They did do the Bachelor, I believe.
Jason: Yes they did :)
Gordon: Chico loves Ludia.
Chico: Just as much as Gordon loves smart people. That said...

Are YOU Smarter than...Lawon. For obvious reasons.

Jason: Nuff said.
Chico: I got my mug out for the Haterade already
Gordon: We got a bunch.
Jason: I am ready

You remember the game show 'Scream if you know the answer? Well, I got the answer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aViRwO5rVWY

Jason: After 1 episode?
Chico: Quite possibly. It's not on the schedule and it wasn't on this week
Gordon: That was quick.
Chico: Let's see... little to no pub... Little to no advance warning. Did you honestly expect anything less?
Gordon: But we have more
Jason: More?
Chico: Moooooooooooooooooooore?

Fantasia Barino, the next time she gets money, really needs to get a good accountant. This time, she's being sued by a bank, saying she owes $25,000+ in a loan and interest.

Chico: Woops.
Gordon: I think Fantasia needs a trip
Jason: To where?
Chico: How about England?

Amanda Byram has a new show that's part "America's Got Talent" and part "101 Ways to Leave a Game Show", called "Don't Stop Me Now".

Jason: Ok then :)
Chico: It's like 30 Seconds to Fame - almost, or the Gong Show if you're old school
Jason: I am.
Chico: So imagine all those talent acts that got rejected... finally getting what they deserve.
Jason: LOL yeah
Gordon: What about people that get publicity, regardless of if they deserve it?
Jason: That means they are hoes.
Chico: Are you kidding? That's our bread & butter. (plays "Pimpin All Over the World")

In this week's Media Ho Report, Lifetime has announce Project Runway All-Stars (way to draw publicity away from the sries already on the air), Pia Toscano and Chris Richardson both hit the airwaves, Emeril Legasse joins Top Chef...

Chico: BAM!

J-Lo comes back to Idol, spurring Steven Tyler to also ask for a raise, Mark-Paul Gosselar is engaged, Donny Osmond goes out on tour...

Jason: Tyler will get his too

...Gordon Ramsay's first restaurant gets delayed by water, Ricky Lake gets engaged, and Jake Pavelka says he hopes Vienna Girardi falls 30,000 feet to her death. I think you're not the only person thinking that, Jake (looks at Chico)

Chico: I never said I wanted her to fall to her death. I just wanted her to get off my TV and stay off.
Gordon: But none of them is the ho of the week. And this week, I mean that LITERALLY.
Chico: Ooh Ooh! Can I?
Gordon: Yes you can, Chico.
Jason: LOL
Chico: Lucinda Moyers has been charged with nicking off of Alex Trebek.
Jason: (nodding)
Chico: Her lawyer is contending that she is not a thief... she's a prostitute.
Jason: I'll take Around the World for $400, Alex :)
Chico: Can we get a photo of that?
Gordon: Do we really WANT a photo of that?
Chico: Just as a point of context.

http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Entertainment/20110811/alex-trebek-jeopardy-suspect-burglary-prostitute-110811/ (CLICK IF YOU DARE)

Chico: I'm not in a position to judge, but for a prostitute, she's an ugly-ass thief.
Jason: Um...yeah
Chico: Now here's the thing... she says that Alex Trebek wasn't the John she went to see. I'm honestly wondering how this is supposed to make her case BETTER.
Jason: I think the lawyer was taught by Lawon.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision. Jason, please.
Jason: Shutting down
Chico: Still to come, things that are annotated. But first... if you'll believe it, Lawon wasn't the only person to make a brain move this week.
Jason: Really?
Chico: Really.
Jason: (Shakes head)
Gordon: No he wasn't. We'll go through that and a big triangle filled with shiny boxes. You're reading WLTI. you give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 people who lost their spot in the Big Brother (due to Lawon) who want their pound of flesh.
Jason: I heard a lot of TVs went boom
Chico: My foot still hurts.
Gordon: (brings out scale)

(BrainVision has been brought to you by Lawon's Treasure hunting company. If there's any special bonuses to be found, we'll find them. We use spoons for every desert and tweezers for every haystack.)

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