Episode 27.5 - Jungle Love
July 4

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and...why did someone put the set of Legends of the Hidden Temple up all over our stage?
Jason: And this plant life?
Chico: Don't you love the jungle motif?
Jason: (ACHOO)
Gordon: I like it. Then again, I like moldy peaches.
Jason: You would.
Gordon: So I'm guessing this is your handy work, Chico?
Chico: Yeah. I think it adds a little bit of... Brazilian rain forest to the proceedings.
Jason: Where is Kirk Fogg?
Gordon: So that was the person struggling in the giant man-eating fly trap.

(Sounds of plant munching)

Gordon: Sorry, Kirk.
Chico: Besides. I figure we should be the best thing to come out of a jungle this week.
Gordon: It's hot enough outside. I'm sure the rainforest would look pretty good in this weather.
Jason: Pretty good.
Chico: Sure would.
Gordon: A-ha. I think I understand.
Jason: I do too
Chico: Understand this. From somewhere in the jungle... on the birthday of America... WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Yay! Gordon Pepper here, and helping us to provide our brand of fireworks, our special guest, Mr. Jason.
Jason: BOOM! How are you?
Chico: We're good, we're good.
Gordon: We'll get to the jungle later on, but we'll start with a singer proclaimed the 'King' of the Jungle, Mr. Javier Colon.
Jason: And yes Gordon. You got it right...AGAIN.
Gordon: Winning never gets old. Colon, who I pegged from the start, wins The Voice, winning a closer than I thought voting competition against Dia Frampton
Chico: Well, to be fair, it was rather easy. I mean, who were the four again? Gordon: Javier, Beverly, Dia, and Vicci Martinez
Chico: Thanks, G. Javier had the talent. Dia had the fan base. This was going to be a really interesting match. No holds barred. Nothing held back.
Gordon: Well, I wouldn't say fan base. I'd say more audience sob story. But did America get it right?
Jason: Personally, I say NO.
Chico: And I would disagree with Jason.
Jason: That's fine.
Gordon: Explain, both of you
Chico: Javier was the total package. Family man. Great story. Great package, and the boy can sing. Easy.
Jason: That's fine, and yeah the boy can "sang". But Beverly had the rock chops that appeal to me than the more overall package thing. Same reason why I Liked Adam Lambert over Kris Allen. And still do to this day.
Chico: Understandable there.
Gordon: Well, here's my thought. I don't care about the packaging as much as I do about the performances.
Jason: That I agree with you totally
Gordon: Javier's performances were strong and consistent. He didn't have a bad one. Conversely, each of the other finaists had a clunker somewhere along the line.
Chico: Agreed.
Gordon: I agree that Beverly had chops. And Dia has a nice voice. And Vicci was solid. But their 'performances' all paled to Javier. Hence, I think America actually did make the right choice.
Jason: That's cool
Gordon: The fact that he was a hot guy with a guitar (TM) didn't hurt.
Jason: Of course not LOL
Chico: He didn't rely on the guitar, though.
Gordon: Very true. I don't think he needed it to 'perform', but he needed it for an image. It showed who he was and what he could do.
Jason: Which is different than the normal pattern.
Chico: Now the question remains... Can he translate the win into a palatable career?
Jason: I think so. Because the Voice is now "hot and hip".
Gordon: I think not. It got the ratings, but those ratings paled to Idol. I think he's a good artist, but I don't think he breaks the reality glass ceiling.
Chico: Well.. I'd buy his CD. I'd probably be the only one to do so. But I would. In the meantime... Have a trophy. You deserved it.



Gordon: A lot of people have bought his single.
Chico: Guilty.
Jason: Really?
Chico: Really.
Jason: Cool
Gordon: Really?
Chico: Really. So from a big winner, we go to a big winner... who just happened to lose a big game.
Gordon: And it was big.
Chico: Jay Rhee got his five in and his $100,000 in. He'll be back in the next Tournamtn of Champions, but Monday, he was just up against it. He came across a steamroller named Adam Marshall... Shame is that we won't see more of THAT guy.
Jason: Yup.
Chico: But here's the Monday Final. Ready?
Jason: Ready
Chico: The category: Games. And heaven help both of you if you miss it.
Gordon: Tee hee hee.

In 2007 Robstown, near Corpus Christi, was recognized as the birthplace of this game, now played online too

Chico: Jason?
Jason: What is TEXAS Hold'em?
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: What is High School Steroid Bust 'em?
Chico: Too much Friday Night Lights, Gordon?
Gordon: Hey, Football is big in Texas.
Chico: That it is. Jason's right, as usual. Adam... only lasted three matches. Ouch. So we MAY see him again, I wouldn't count on it though.
Gordon: At least he did better than what most people who unseat major champions do.
Jason: 1 and done
Gordon: Yep. Can we see what did him in?
Chico: Let's see what did Adam in. It was actually a pretty good match with Adam at $15,400 and Jeff Amoros at $15,600. It was THAT close. The category: Poetic Subjects.
Chico: I can feel Gordon smirking in delight at the possibilities.
Gordon: I do smirk. (Smirks)
Chico: Okay. Poetic Subjects.

It was saved from destruction by a poem submitted to the Boston Daily Advertiser in September 1830.

Chico: And just so you know, "Big Papi" is not a valid response.
Jason: What is the USS Constitution?(A/k/a Old Ironsides)
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: What is Jason Block's ego?
Jason: Whoa baby! LOL Not as big as yours, but ok.
Gordon: My ego is indestructible
Chico: OH! Civil, people...
Jason: We are being civil :)
Gordon: Yeah, Chico. Butt out.
Chico: ...ok. Anyway, when J! returns next week, it's all about the kids.
Jason: Summer vacation :)
Chico: Yup. And summer vacation means one thing... Shows that suck. Or, you know, are good. This week, I saw one of each.
Jason: I think we finally found one that's good.
Chico: I think so, too.
Gordon: Really?
Chico: But first, let's go to the one that sucks.
Jason: Right. Love in the Wild.
Chico: NBC unleashed Love in the Wild. Remember Paradise Hotel? Remember Forever Eden?
Jason: Yeah
Chico: Remember Wedding Wars?
Gordon: I do.
Chico: It's kinda like that. Basically speed dating if it were done on the set of Survivor.
Jason: Yes. I will say there is ONE thing that is ok...and that's the vistas. Very high production values.
Gordon: See Chico, you should have brought THAT set into the studio.
Jason: Everything else is non-original crap.
Chico: I'll give'm that, but we're getting ahead of ourselves. Each player - out of 10 men and 10 women -- pair up for a set of challenges, called in the context of the game, "quests". The winner will spend a night in "The Oasis". The others face elimination. Now they can keep their partner or trade for another partner. But if you're left rejected, you're left ejected. Now... THE GOOD: breathtaking views of Costa Rica. I want to go visit there.
Gordon: Believe it or not, there's actually STRATEGY involved in this game.
Chico: Really?
Jason: Yes.
Chico: Do tell.
Gordon: There's a challenge that determines the order of your selection.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: So if you come in last, you're screwed...unless someone picks you. Which leads to strategy - you need to go out and mingle. This isn't Paradise Hotel, where you can stay with the same couple forever. If you want to win, you have to bounce around between couples.
Chico: You have to be social. Love in the Wild... it's a social game.
Gordon: Yes. I also like that this isn't about voting...until probably the last episode, where we'll have some insipid eliminated contestant vote at the finals to be nicey nice thing.
Jason: of course
Chico: Or something. But while we're on the players. Aside from obvious gamesmanship, there's not a personality to be found. Unless you count the guy who hosts Australian Minute to Win It. But we're not, so we don't. It's pretty people with no personality doing things with other pretty people.
Jason: The guy feels so fake. A combination of Jonny Fairplay and an infomercial salesman.
Gordon: I don't suppose we could send him to the alligators, could we?
Chico: I don't see why not.
Jason: But it just seemed like my brain lost a few IQ points.
Chico: Yeah, this show'll do that. So there's a beautiful scenery and an interesting social strategy. But outside of that... anything good?
Gordon: Good? Seeing half-naked people covered in water isn't good enough for you?
Jason: Depends on what you are looking for.
Chico: Dude, you can see that anywhere.
Gordon: So I guess I have to judge this show on merit?
Chico: Yep. That's how it goes down on the showgram.

	LOVE IN THE WILD NBC - 10p ET Wednesday
	GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C-	D	D	D

Gordon: Ok, it's not the worst show on TV, and it's certainly not the worst show of the summer, but it isn't that good, either. And for anyone who says that this is original or unique, you just haven't doing your game show homework. C-
Chico: It's a great execution wasted by piss poor casting. ON BOTH ENDS. D.
Jason: My grade...views great...everything else crappy. D.
Chico: Folks, you just witnessed Jason watching a show... and then grading on it.
Jason: HA :)
Chico: It doesn't happen often. :-)
Jason: I will even go two for two.
Chico: Prepare yourself... It's about to happen again. Now, Imagine Chopped or Top Chef (if it was more like Fear Factor) and hosted by Gordon Pepper (if he was a little bit British and rough & tumble).
Jason: And created by him too!
Chico: That's pretty much the long and the short of Extreme Chef. You're basically tasked with cooking for a panel of judges, but it's not your ordinary cook-then-eat competition. This is extreme conditions, like chasing down ingredients, or cooking on engine blocks, or cooking in the rain with a child's lunch using a mani-pedi kit.
Jason: Which is what I loved about it. It took stuff we have already seen and put a nice twist on it. This is EVIL.
Chico: Basically, it's Rocco's Dinner Party... if it were absolutely EVIL.
Jason: Gordon Pepper EVIL.
Gordon: I'm finally being revered around here. :)
Chico: A cooking show for people who think "Iron Chef" is for sissies. The format of the show is simple. First, there's an express challenge, where you have to cook on the fly. On the first episode, they had to use unmarked canned food. The scourge of any chef. The winner will have an advantage in the elimination round. Basically a cook-then-serve affair, BUT there are twists thrown in called "X Factors" that will test the chefs both mentally and willfully. How would you like to cook for a block party in the rain? And then how would you like the host, first timer Marsh Mokhtari, to laugh at you about it?
Jason: LOL
Chico: Then the judges eat your creations and the worst of the lot is eliminated. Then comes the Final Showdown, where you have to prepare one BITE... out of whatever you're given. In this week's ep, it was a 5th grader's sack lunch.
Jason: MacGyver Chef LOL
Chico: The winner gets $10,000. And truth be told, whoever wins the cash would've earned every penny of it.
Jason: Bingo. This is WORK.
Chico: The good... the execution is spot on. The host is annoying without being cloying...
Gordon: I like the premise of the show
Chico: And it's good to see a show that takes chefs down a peg.
Jason: Exactly.
Gordon: But we have bad to go with this good.
Chico: Yes we do.
Gordon: One of the tasks should be to cook sashimi on a heated Xerox machine
Jason: LOL
Chico: HA! Basically we're talking the worst day on Top Chef... multiplied... and stretched out to an hour.
Gordon: Yes. How many chefs do we start with?
Chico: Three.
Gordon: How many challenges do we have?
Chico: Three.
Gordon: And we cut one out midstream, right?
Jason: Yes.
Gordon: And then we have a final showing, right?
Jason: Yes.
Gordon: So we have 3 instead of four. Does the set up feel familiar?
Chico: I don't know, but I bet Ted Allen isn't that British.
Jason: Of course.
Chico: Or that haggard for that matter. So we're basically taking elements from other shows... but, to put it like Emeril, we're kicking it up a notch. Bam.
Gordon: And our host needs to take lessons from Ted Allen.

	EXTREME CHEF Food - 10p ET Thursday
	GORDON	CHICO	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C+	B	B	B

Chico: And less lessons from Jim Halpert. Yes, you're mugging up for the camera while the players suffer in unending agony, but you don't need to rub it in THAT much. There's evil, and then there's EVIL. That said... it all works. B.
Jason: What Chico Said. A bright idea in a sea of crud this summer. B.
Gordon: I didn't like it as much as you guys did. I think we're grading this higher because of all of the mediocrity out there. It's fun and I'll watch it, but It's not that high on my watch list. C+.
Chico: But it IS on your watch list.
Gordon: Because the options out there are bleak. Like watching people get inherently lost in the desert.
Jason: Oh boy



Chico: How does that happen? Well, if you're part of Mom's Army... Rather easily.
Gordon: You could say that the finish line was rather deserted.
Chico: (musical sting to let everyone know that was the joke)
Gordon: Groups had to find and ride a horse and then go kayaking. Neither of those tasks seemed like much of an issue. The problems started when teams had to siphon light from a lampshade to find the finish line, then find the finish themselves.
Chico: If it sounds complicated, it's only because it is. :-) But it's really simple. Like reading a map, almost.
Gordon: Using a light, you have to locate the old bridge. The last 2 teams to do that were mom's army and the Policemen from NYC.
Chico: And Mom's Army was relieved from the rest of the Expedition because they got there LAST. And truth be told, they were pretty much asking for it, as they were coming into this stage WAY in the back.
Gordon: The old camp has a lot of trees, and a big fortress that's laid out right by the old bridge. It may behoove you to go inside and check it out. None of the groups thought about going into the fort. As for the Army... The whining didn't help.
Chico: Of course. See: Latin Explosion. ... PERSUASION! SORRY!
Jason: It was both lol
Chico: Yeah, it really was.
Gordon: Hey both groups that have left so far - were they all females?
Chico: They were. Because it's a scientifically proven fact (not really) that all women hate each other.
Gordon: Were the Top 4 teams all males?
Chico: Yes, yes, yes, and yes.
Gordon: This could be a really bad sign for the remaining ladies on the show.
Chico: But not for the model and her brother. They're in 5th.
Gordon: Last time I checked, you don't win $100,000 for finishing in 5th.
Chico: Nope, but they're still in it with a chance. They just need to overcome their own little fears... model, I'm talking to you. Acrophobes are not winners.
Gordon: True. But we can talk about someone who's been a winner for a very long time, someone the gaming community lost this week.
Chico: Oh yeah. A pinup of Old Hollywood turned into game show royalty, Elaine Stewart, model on High Rollers and Gambit and wife of the one and only Merrill Heatter, died this week aged 81.
Jason: Yup.
Chico: Starting out as a model in See, Playboy, and Photoplay, she parlayed that into a career in Hollywood. She'll be known for the movie "Brigadoon" and "The Bad & the Beautiful".
Jason: Brigadoon is a classic. And she was a classic old Hollywood Beauty
Chico: But we know her best as a) Mrs. Merrill Heatter, b) the dice girl on High Rollers, and c) the dealer on Gambit. She was Mikki Padilla before Mikki Padilla was Mikki Padilla.
Gordon: Or Janice Pennington, or Holly Halstron, or any of the models on any show in any era. Elaine was the forebearer.
Chico: She injected a lot of sex appeal into the game show model spectrum.
Gordon: She sure did. Now who do you think is the most likely to replace her?
Chico: In the pantheon? Because you know, anyone as lasting as her is hard to replace. You can never truly replace someone like that. We have a video of Gambit here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAlg84G3EC4&feature=related

Chico: Pretty good stuff there.
Gordon: Sure is. The hammies are trying to recreate the game, but they are having problems picking up the cards. Chico, some assistance?
Chico: On it.
Jason: Before we go to the hammies, can we remove our hats please?
Chico: Right... *removes hat*

*silence*

Gordon: While Chico is dealing out the cards for the first game, Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thank you Doug. Great as always. Let's start with the handing out of the bats. This one comes... with a broomstick. Because it's a Casting Couch.. in which a City Sweep is involved. Get it, Brooms, sweep... Nevermind.
Jason: I got it :)
Gordon: ZZZZZzzzzzzz
Chico: Shut it.

"Who Wants to Be A Millionaire" is looking for players for season 10 in Harrisburg, Charlotte, Chicago, Washington (I'll be there!), Tampa, and Las Vegas. Details and audition forms are at millionaireTV.com

Chico: Next bit is very important. Be sure that your form is complete before your audition. Jason can't do it because he's been in the circle before. Gordon can't do it because... he knows a guy. =p
Jason: who knows a guy :)
Chico: Meanwhile, I also have... a bone club...

Jason: Nice spikes
Chico: Thank you.
Jason: Who is getting pounded?

Full Tilt Poker, as a result of the events of Poker's Black Friday, is ceasing activity within the US. Whether this affects the status of Poker After Dark remains to be seen, but I present a Big Board.

Chico: This one's called Poker After Going Dark. Some tea leaves to be read here...
Jason: (Jason Spreads the tea leaves)
Gordon: (Brings in golf tees, then leaves)
Chico: ... BOO! :-)
Jason: RIMSHOT!
Chico: 1) The schedule that is up on Wikipedia (which more or less is accurate, but take with a grain of salt anyway) is no longer valid, as new episodes that were slated to air this week are replaced with reruns. 2) The schedule from NBCSports.com/poker goes up only to the week of July 16, and they're all repeats.
Gordon: The website 'officially' took the new episodes off the schedule.
Chico: And the content only goes into detail about the National Heads Up Championship, which is presented by GoDaddy.com.
Gordon: Which was good, but not as good as last year, when Annie Duke won it.
Chico: So only two items in the crystal ball, but they're both big and they're both telling. Also telling, the official site at PokerAfterDark.com, which was down earlier this week, is back up, and yet hasn't been updated in three years. Well, for the most part, anyway. They still have the previews for the week, which are reruns from before Black Friday.
Jason: Right.
Gordon: What's more telling is that FTP has been shut down throughout the world, due to the U.S. activities. Hence all of their sponsored programming needs new sponsors.
Chico: If indeed they're going to go back and air the show.
Jason: And until the IUGEA gets repealed,...not going to happen.
Chico: We remember what happened to both PokerStars.net shows. They went the way of the $150 Gordon's never going to see again. :-)
Gordon: I'll see it again. Wanna play some poker, Chico? :)
Chico: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhno. :-)
Gordon: Aw.
Jason: LOL
Chico: But I will give you a calendar datebook thing.
Gordon: I'll take it.

The fireworks start with Big Brother on July 7th, and then Sunday Best, season 4 on July 10th. Fortunately, no bombs to be busting anywhere.

Chico: Not on Sunday Best. Big Brother... not the bombs of the nuclear kind, but perhaps the return of dynamic duos from the past in a twist called "Double Trouble". Who they are we can't say, because honestly we don't know.
Gordon: We'll be chatting more about this next week.
Chico: That we will, sir. Meanwhile, let's take a trip.
Jason: Yup. Where to? (holds out passport)

More about Big Brother, this time from Germany, where you can now vote for the outcome via Facebook. Of course this won't play in the US since our version is essentially Survivor in a house.

Jason: Yipe.
Chico: Just putting that out there.
Gordon: I think we've seen what happens when you involve America in deciding things. Usually the results don't favor good game play
Chico: Or excitement.
Gordon: Especially when Big Brother is concerned.
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: So why don't we include Stupid America with stupidity?
Jason: I see dumb people
Chico: Great. And on our nation's birthday, too. :-)
Gordon: Fireworks for everyone!

Are you Smarter then...Rod Blagojevich, who gets 17 guilties out of 20 charges against him in that whole Chicago bribery thing.

Jason: Oh boy. Years in jail potentially
Chico: He's gonna be somebody's... ahem... running mate.
Jason: You think?
Gordon: But we need more fireworks.
Chico: More fireworks!

Are YOU Smarter than...Bachelor Pad Producer Karri-Leigh Matrsangelo, who gets fired after seducing contestant Craig Robinson?

Jason: OOOOH....hanky-panky
Chico: Oh baby.
Gordon: Craig doesn't get on Bachelor Pad, and Karri doesn't get another paycheck. Oh, should I mention that Karri was married at the time?
Chico: "I'm Joey Greco with Cheaters."
Gordon: I don't know about you, but I love to partake some Haterade after the Fireworks.
Chico: Or during. I'm versatile.
Gordon: Oh and let's bring Augustus back in here.



Gordon: Remember a few weeks ago, when we closed down two of the restaurants from America's Next Great Restaurant?
Chico: Why yes. Yes I do.
Jason: I do.
Gordon: Make that 3.

The one in the Mall of America has closed, leaving winner Jamawn Woods with no more restaurants. That would be the death of a chain of restaurants in 6 weeks. Impressive.

Jason: That's insanely impressive
Chico: So America's Next Great Restaurant... waste of time.
Gordon: I could have told you that in March.
Chico: Ha.
Gordon: I think Jamawn needs to get fully loaded.
Chico: I can handle that.

How would you like to do what 151 people couldn't... and beat Ken Jennings? You can do that, because he's at Trivia Championships of North America NEXT WEEKEND!

Chico: MGM Grand Las Vegas.
Jason: http://www.tcona.com/
Chico: Deadline is July 6. Go get your geek love on.
Gordon: That should be an excellent event to go to.
Chico: I wish we could go...
Jason: Me too
Gordon: I think there's one more thing... *plays "Pimpin All Over the World*

In this week's Media Ho Report, Adam Levine wins the Voice Coach competition, Jeff Probst gets a talk show, Mario Lopez celebrity boxes and loses... David Cook plugs a new album, Randy and Steven sign for Season 11 of Idol, Sig Hansen wants to dance with the stars,,, Joe Rogan will indeed host Fear Factor, Chantal O'Brien is engaged, and The Voice tour is on...without the judges.

Chico: But the judges will return next season.
Gordon: They will. But none of them are the hoes of the week.
Jason: Who are they?
Gordon: Your hoes are Michelle Deighton and Jonny Fairplay. Or shall we say...



Gordon: The union is gone, and Michelle has taken the kid with her.
Jason: I guess the Dr. Phil show didnt help
Chico: Did you honestly expect it to?
Gordon: No. Maybe they need relationship lessons from Speidi
Chico: Or not.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes. And THAT'S Brainvision. Shut it down.
Jason: (shutting down now)
Chico: Still to come, I've got envelopes. I've got big boxes. I've got small boxes. I've got doors. I've got curtains. But what've you got, G?
Gordon: I've got the ability to rationalize, cogitate and agitate. We'll tell you what THAT means later on. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you 22 people we'd like to send to a jungle. Like the idiots at Full Tilt Poker who can't follow rules.
Chico: Boo.
Jason: BOOOOO

(BrainVision has been brought to you by Love on a Saturday Amusement Park ride. It's beautiful out there, and you're waiting an hour to get on the new Green Lantern ride. Can you pick which out of 3 people in line with you will be your riding mate?)

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