Episode 27.6 - Baby You're a Firework
July 11

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and I'd like to congratulate Kobayashi for winning the 4th of July Hot Dog Eating competition.
Chico: You know he wasn't officially entered, right?
Gordon: I didn't say the Nathan's Hot Dog eating sham of a contest. I said the 4th of July eating competition.
Chico: Got me there.
Gordon: Sure Chestnut ate 62 Dogs. Kobayashi, eating under the same rules of the contest at a different location, ate 69 of them, easily dusting Chestnut. Nathan's is SCARED of Kobayashi FEAR the TAKERU.
Chico: There's one thing that he can't eat, though... contract law. Way too much of THAT going on.
Gordon: I don't care. Major League Eating a joke. I will recognoize KOBAYASHI as the champ.
Chico: Speaking of safety, 14 people are going to have the same answer to the question "What did you do on your summer vacation?"
Gordon: Well, now 13.
Chico: 13?
Gordon: 13. We'll get to that and a really Big Board, as from somewhere in America, WLTI...is...ON!
Chico: How's is going? Chico Alexander alongside Gordon Pepper. Thank you for being a part of our week and allowing us to be a part of yours. We've got a rundown of the top 48 on AGT and assessing actions from absolutely accurate idiots, but first... what do you mean 13?



Gordon: Well let's start with the latest season of Big Brother. As we discussed last week, there are 7 teams of 2 in the house. 4 of those teams are strangers. 3 of them, however, are teams we've seen before in the house. The 3 couples are: Jordan Lloyd & Jeff Schroeder (who we also saw in The Amazing Race), Brendon Villegas & Rachel Reilly (who we hope we never saw again) and Daniele & Evel Dick Donato, who are the strongest tandem in Big Brother history, having come in 1st and 2nd in their season. So this has turned into Big Brother: All Stars: Good Vs. Evil.
Chico: When did Big Brother become "The Challenge"?
Gordon: When they felt that could bring in the ratings. And that it has.
Chico: True.
Gordon: Now you can't go pagonging couples. If you get rid one one half, the teammate sticks around until you get to 10 people.
Chico: Right.
Gordon: That gets to strategy that I'll explain later, but first of all, we get to current events. Brendon / Rachel pick up where they left off on their season, winning Head of Household AND power of Veto.
Chico: Which goes against housemate Shelly's best interest. She gets the game, and now... She gon' git it.
Gordon: But she's not, because they don't target her. They target Keith and his teammate Porsche, because most of the house want Keith gone. He's been the person most vocal about targetting out the veterans.
Chico: Playing his cards out too early.
Gordon: Way too early. However, as I said before, he got part of the job inadvertently done. Evil Dick, for some reason, is no longer in the house.
Chico: As of Day 6. Basically saying "Screw you guys, I'm going home", or what he calls "an urgent personal matter."
Gordon: Pretty much. That allows Danielle to be safe for the next month. That also allows casting to give her a new teammate or to bring someone in the game or just play it out.
Chico: In another twist called "the Golden Key".
Gordon: True. Now this means that you're guaranteed to have both newbies and veterans in the jury. So in order to win that game, you'll need to have allies in both parties. We'll see how many of those people will figure that out.
Chico: Well, give some of them some credit for trying to figure this thing out early. But as Brendon & Rachel have the veto in round 1, expect the nominations to hold. If you want to win, you're going to have to figure the game out quickly.
Gordon: And you have to roll with the twists that will undoubtedly be coming. But yes, you need to make all sorts of allies. This isn't a game about numbers. It's a game about aligning yourself with the people in power and not to be a target.
Chico: Bingo. The game is going to go not to the best team, but to the player who can successfully play both sides of the fence. Call it the Cesternino Gambit.
Gordon: But Cesterino didn't win.
Chico: I didn't say Rob was any good at it. I just said he had a good idea. =p
Gordon: They'll have to do better than what Rob did. Expect lots of fireworks on Big Brother. Expect not as many on The Price is Right.



Chico: Now Gordon, if you recall we had a special ep of TPIR this week. What's the record for "special eps of TPIR"?
Gordon: Around as good as Lindsay Lohan's sobriety record.
Chico: Very good, Gordon. You get a cookie.
Gordon: (munches)...mmm. Butterscotch.
Chico: Today's show... no exception. We go 1-5.
Gordon: Lovely
Chico: Going over the lineup.... Golden Road is only golden for a set of iPods. 1 Right Price... wrong. Grocery Game's a bust...and by 53 cents. Ouch. Side by Side was the only win. See if you can figure it out. It's a hot tub worth $7562 or $6275
Gordon: Ill go with $6,275
Chico: Sorry, G. It was $7562. But it was the only win we got this week. So there was that. One player runs out on Lucky Seven. And in what is called a technical loss, we have a $300 win on Plinko. What can you do with $300? Get an iPod.
Gordon: Nice Golden-Road iPod
Chico: Now let's play the Showcases. The first is trips to Washington, DC & the Grand Canyon AND a sportboat.
Gordon: Can I use the 4th of July fireworks to blow up the sportsboat?
Chico: You wish.
Gordon: I do. SInce it's probably not legal, I'll pass it.
Chico: Okay, How about an outdoor furniture set, a grill, and a Chevrolet Cruze.
Gordon: That's better. $25,795
Chico: It's actually $22,688. You're over.
Gordon: I just felt really badly about all of the people losing so I wanted tomake them feel better.
Chico: I think having Jason Block being around boosted your smarts a bit. The sportboat Showcase... $28,046. Jennifer Realmuto won the Showcase. Jeffrey Jung won the only game. Let's give'em both props...



Chico: So in total, we give away $44,051, which isn't terrible when you consider that only one game was won.
Gordon: But the adults, for the most part, blew, just like the fireworks. What about the kids?
Chico: Some of the kids this week on Jeopardy!...Wow. Some of the other kids this week on Jeopardy!... WHOA.
Gordon: I assume you'll give us a little of each?
Chico: I'll give you a little of each. First up, let's talk the best of the week, Graham Doskoch with $21,800 going into the Final on Monday. With his opponents at $9800 and $3200, the game is his. That's what you call a strong front game. There are some of the best adult gamers who don't have the same game as Graham did the first time out.
Gordon: Very true. And strong kids can match up just as well as the adults.
Chico: But you probably want their Final...
Gordon: I do actually.
Chico: The category: Advertising Icons

Introduced in 1963, this internationally known character wears a size 29EEE shoe.

Gordon: (Puts on Jason Block Tuxedo)
Chico: *hands Gordon Jason Block glasses*
Gordon: Who is Ronald McDonald?
Chico: Very good... now what did you really want to say?
Gordon: (Takes off Jason Block Tuxedo)
Chico: **hands Gordon Yankees cap*
Gordon: (Puts on Gordon Pepper goofy outfit) Who is the Jolly Green Giant after being served a New York City High School Cafeteria Meal?
Chico: Interesting, I had the Jolly Green Giant first. I was wrong of course. =p
Gordon: Well back then, NYC cafeteria meals were....you don't want to know. It would make Jamie Oliver vomit.
Chico: Would it make him vomit today?
Gordon: After I add the rat droppings in, sure.
Chico: Anyway, we took a look at one end, now let's take a look at the other.
Gordon: Lets.
Chico: Enter Neil Patel, who looked like a deer in headlights when he wasn't in full panic.
Gordon: Well, to be fair here, you have grown adults that do that also.
Chico: Agreed, but many of them can still breathe during a Daily Double. You felt sorry for the guy. I know I did.
Gordon: I do too. It happens to all of us.
Chico: It does, and when it happens, with the lights and the cameras... it's never a good time.
Gordon: Nope
Chico: The good news is that he stuck around for Final Jeopardy!, which is more than can be said for Maddie Harrington, who ends the Friday show with nothing. She doesn't get to stick around to see this in "The Olympics". The clue...

If he had been his own country, at the 2008 Summer Olympics he would have tied for ninth in gold medals.

Gordon: You have the Jason Block outfit, right?
Gordon: Actually...(Puts on Teen Jeopardy Contestants Dress) Who is Michael Phelps?
Chico: If any of the female teen Jeopardy champions are reading this... I'm SO SORRY.
Gordon: So am I. This dress is way too tight for my figure.
Chico: Now I'm REALLY sorry.
Gordon: (Takes off Dress. Puts on Gordon Pepper wacky outfit) What is Elliot Spitzer's press conference team?
Chico: NEXT!
Gordon: You know, running throuh hoops, swimming upstream, etc. If it makes them feel any better, he can join Elliott Spitzer on the sidelines, since they have the same tv time allotment.
Chico: Zero?
Gordon: Zero, as Spitzers show gets canned by CNN



Chico: We'll see more of Augustus later, right now, let's go on an expedition. Last week, we called Grandpa's Warriors to be the next team out of the expedition...and lookie here, they're gone.



Gordon: Hey. What do you know?
Chico: Yay us. What happened? This week, our players had a choice between two paths. One was shorter, but infinitely more grueling. The other was longer, but easier. All they had to do was get to the finish line.
Gordon: The difference between length is around a mile. How long can you walk a mile?
Chico: Walk? I'd say, oh... 20 minutes. Maybe 15.
Gordon: I can go in 15. I timed it. So can you make up 15 minutes on someone with a tougher trail? Sure can. If I'm trailing, I purposely go a different path to make up the time.
Chico: And you honestly don't know HOW grueling the shorter path is. So better the devil you know than the devil you don't.
Gordon: It turns out that the Grandpas take the easier route. Turns out they may have wanted to take the shorter route, because the Fishermen get lost and that could have been the break the warriors need.
Chico: That's what we call an X factor.
Gordon: What about a 60 second minute to win it factor?
Chico: I have one of those1
Gordon: Go for it.
Chico: M2WI returns with a new game and the same issues that I personally have with it, but that aside, we have two BFFs trying to make good with their families... only to win $1000. They pass the first game, a new $1000 game called "Nice Build", in which you have to make a three-story stack with 15 reams of copy paper, but they fail the milestone level 5 of Spoon Frog.
Gordon: Aw.
Chico: Then there's a duel between sisters. That will be resolved this week, with the giant red TO BE CONTINUED stamp and everything. Talk about a copout. Anyway, now that the main season is over, it's starting to shake a leg.
Gordon: Or get rid of 4 legs.



Chico: This week we're spreading the love to Cat, Nigel, Cat, Mary, Cat, and the rest of the SYTYCD gang.
Gordon: And we have no more love to give to Ashley and Chris, who are sent packing.
Chico: Never got a chance to get out of the Bottom three rut.
Gordon: Well, if you don't get rid of them now, they're only going to be gone in the Top ten, as the audience made their decision a while ago.
Chico: Yup.
Gordon: And even they said that they haven't hit their peak yet. The problem is that you have to be at your peak at all time.
Chico: Especially when the judges can call the shots. Which, at this stage of the competition, they can.
Gordon: They can, and it's to improve the quality in the Top 10. Unfortunately for Chris and Ashley, that's what happens to them. And it serves them right if they aren't dancing their best.
Chico: Again, you have to play like every round is your last. That's just good life advice. You play to win the game. They were just playing to survive.
Gordon: Very true. If you play to not win, you won't. And the next thing...(gets note) 'Don't eat all your cheese before going on the hamster wheel'? Silly hamsters (smells the air)...unless they were trying to tell us something.
Chico: Ew.
Gordon: Oh no. Cheeseball!
Chico: I'll clean it. You start the news.
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Gordon: We start with a datebook.

Monday is Design Star, Wednesday is One Man Army, and Thursday is Sweet Home Alabama. Sort of like Joker...Joker...and a Blocker.

Chico: I'll go off the board and take a Greenlight for $100, Jack.
Gordon: (hands over a lantern)

Disney XD is teaming with CiTV to bring Fort Boyard to America.

Chico: For Boyard, big in Europe. This will obviously be a children's version of the long-running classic.
Gordon: I'm hoping so.
Chico: Meanwhile, I have an addendum in the datebook with a baseball bat.
Gordon: (Gives Chico bats with soccer ball painted on the bat)

Tuesday is also the MLB All-Star Game. Inside of the game, you will see a preview... a small taste, if you will, of "The X Factor".

Chico: A red, white, and blue soccer ball.
Gordon: What about Red, White and Blue brains?
Chico: The best brains in the world... and then there are these guys.

Are YOU Smarter Than...anyone at Piers Morgan's old newspaper, News of the World, who gets shut down for their reporters hacking other people's cell phones?

Chico: There's getting a story and then there's journalistic ethics. There was an agenda over at News of the WorldL If it bleeds, it leads, and there's no harm in letting it bleed a little more.
Gordon: As journaists, there's fine line you can't cross. They crossed it and the penalty is deserved.
Chico: I hope the rest of the world took notice.
Gordon: Maybe. I know he took notice.



Chico: Welcome back, Auggie.

And we may say goodbye to Platinum Hit. It gets moved to Friday nights, which is where the shows with low ratings go to.

Chico: Not necessarily a dead show. More like a dead show walking.
Gordon: Its looking quite sickly.
Chico: Quite. Maybe it needs to get loaded.
Gordon: GIve it some loading love.
Chico: Did you know Taylor Hicks was a vlogger?
Gordon: Why, no, I didn't know

He uses his video this week to document tornado damage from over the spring.

Gordon: I think that's amazing for him and Im glad he's doing it.
Chico: It's the newest episode of his webseries "Riding Shotgun with Taylor Hicks". Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbsLcCm3YO8&feature=player_embedded

Chico: Good stuff there.
Gordon: You know with all of the things going on and Media Hos being wacky, it's nice for people in the media to go out there and make a difference
Chico: There you go...You don't have any of that, do you.
Gordon: Making a difference? No. Being wacky? Oh I may have plenty of it.
Chico: (plays "Pimpin All Over the World")

In this week's Media Ho Report, Jesse Tyler Ferguson does So You Think You Can Dance, Nicole Richie and John Varvatos joins Fashion Star, Guy FIeri is involved in a custody battle...Betty White does Book Promotion, Bob Barker relocates lions, Pia Tosacno's single drops this week...

Chico: Finally.

The Situation reportedly leaves The Jersey SHore, Lady Gaga goes 'So You Think You Can Dance', and your new Bachelorette is...Emily Maynard. That's what Chico has always wanted.

Chico: Whoopee...
Gordon: Would you like a cushion for that?
Chico: (rimshot)
Gordon: But she's not the ho of the week.
Chico: Would it have something to do with a game show that aired THREE years ago?
Gordon: No.
Chico: ... Damn. I had it. =p
Gordon: Who did you have?
Chico: Jorge Orturzar. He was on "Baggage" this week, and lost.
Gordon: No, since we covered him last week.
Chico: Well, who is it then?
Gordon: It's Dina Lohan!
Chico: Oh boy..
Gordon: Why is she a famous media ho?
Chico: Why IS she a famous media ho?
Gordon: Because she is the mother of Lindsay 'Trainwreck' Lohan. And...because she may be one of the first people announced for this season's Dancing With the Stars
Chico: And of course, we'll believe that when we see it .
Gordon: And those...are your hoes
Chico: Finally, let's go global.

Sony is teaming with Gogglebox to launch Breakout, a UK game where contestants are forced to choose between working as a team or striking out on your own.

Chico: The game is played on two tracks... the teammates can stay on one track and hope to share the cash or break out and hope to get the cash themselves.
Gordon: I like the idea. Which means that this is one of the ones we won't see in the U.S.
Chico: Well, we might. If the folks at GSN like what they see. Sony calls the shot there, even though they're minority owner. But they can't get a "name" to host it, so you're probably right. You know, you're nothing if you're not a name hosting a game. Sometimes it works, other times, you get Starface. JUST SAYING.
Gordon: Believe, brother Chico. And That's Brainvision. Shut it down.
Chico: *fobs it* Still to come, accurate? Idiotic? We'll be the judge of that.
Gordon: But first, it's a big wall of talent that we won't remember 3 months from now, but our predictions will star with us for eternity. You're reading WLTI. You give us 22 minbutes, and we'll give you 22 people that we'd like to see take Evil Dicks place in the house, if only to get them out of our life for the next 3 months.

(BrainVision has been brought to you by The Weakest Link: World Cup Edition. So you can shoot goals for your country. Big Deal. How about one team vs. the other answering trivia questions in front of millions of people? You think you can handle the pressure?)

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