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Episode 26.17 - It's the End of
the World As We Know It (And Gordon & Chico Feel Fine)
May 23
 Chico:
Apologies in advance...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0
Chico: I'll take my floggings now. I feel dirty.
Gordon: You know we play the song at my office job to annoy the crap out of
people.
Chico: NOT SURPRISED.
Gordon: Do you listen to that while watching The Bachelorette to delay the pain?
Chico: No, I think it's to numb the pain a little.. Beer helps. Welcome back to
We Love To Interrupt... A little bit of game show geek heaven. EVERY WEEK.
Gordon: So lets Read Between the Lines. This is the game where we interpret the
spin. Chico, start us off.
Chico: Will do, chief. This is from Peter Rice of Fox, who've built their
schedule around people with no business being on TV, let alone in front of a
microphone.
"Nothing
impacts culture the way a television show does, and here at FOX, we have the
most talked about, most followed, most creative shows that build connections
between viewers and brands."
Chico: TRANSLATION: We keep making this crap because you keep watching it. And
because you keep spending money on it... Money... that goes to the Peter Rice
Rolls Up in a Ferrari, B(^_^)! fund.
Gordon: Translation: We have no problem sticking what comes out of rear ends and
throwing it against the wall, because one American Idol will more that outweigh
100 Hole in the Walls, Our Little Geniuses, The Littlest Grooms and The
Chambers.
Chico: That's how you make the money. Next?
Gordon: Next one...
"If
Cheryl Cole is going to win over Hollywood, shed be better off doing it as a
sassy and single girl-about-town."
Chico: TRANSLATION: You honestly think we hired you for your judging abilities?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Gordon: Translation: If you're available, it means that every horny sleazy dog
out there (not to mention every sleazy producer) thinks they have a shot to bed
you. Hence they'll watch with that fantasy in mind.
Chico: Jailbait.
Gordon: Well, sleazebait anyways. She's of legal age.
Chico: Next up... From a reality TV producer who spoke on the condition of
anonymity about "Repo Games"...
"We
in reality TV talk about s(^_^) to gold. The audience loves seeing s(^_^) turn
into gold."
Gordon: Translation: America loves train wrecks. It makes great TV. you want to
look away, but you can't.
Chico: Ah. There's a translation... TRANSLATION: You watched it.. You can't
UNWATCH IT... Love Triangle, anyone? Bridalplasty?
Gordon: That's not great TV.
Chico: No, but it's train wreck TV.
Gordon: It is. next one...
So
you think you can dance returns with ALL-STARS!!!!....who'll only show up in the
Top Ten this year instead of the Round of 20.
Chico: TRANSLATION: We're running out of contestants, and we're running out of
viewers. AT THE SAME TIME!
Gordon: Translation: I think the All-Stars may have influenced the voting at the
beginning last year, so we'll save them...just in case. And the less money we
can pay these people, the better.
Chico: Worked for "Fame." ... Right?
Gordon: Oh yeah. It worked wonders. How's that show doing?
Chico: I have no idea. :-)
Gordon: Next?
Chico: Next one - Nicole Scherzinger in talking about her role as host of "The X
Factor"...
"I'm
not Ryan Seacrest."
Chico: TRANSLATION: I need help.
Gordon: Translation: Watch my breasts. They will be much perkier than I will
ever be. So...last one...
'The
Rapture is coming October 21, 2011! I'll guaran-damn-tee it!!!!
(Rapture Joke Counter: 7)
Chico: TRANSLATION: ... Give me money or I will end your lives. Here. Have some
Kool-Aid!
Gordon: Translation: I'm an 89 year old coot. If I can make any money out of it,
I will, because my life is ending soon anyways, so I don't give a rats rear end
about what happens to you suckers. And keep those GSNN people out of heaven.
They've sinned way too much for my liking. Especially the one with a Brad Womack
poster on his wall...hey! You damn kids! Get off my Lawn!'.
Chico: There you go. Still to come, islands in the stream... that is what they
are..
Gordon: And with that, we'll go island hopping after the break.
(Brought to you by Supertrainwreck. It's the world's fastest bullet train,
capable of transporting you from New York to Los Angeles in 12 hours. Her crew:
the entire cast of the new season of America's Next Top Model... and the
Bachelorette... And they're all there for the wrong reasons)
 Gordon:
What if the 2 casts started dating each other?
Chico: ... Then it would be a Love Train. A Love Train. People all over the
world... Join hands...
Gordon: And then the train can go to an island. I hear we're providing mono rail
support there.
Chico: Sure are. First up....
Harold
Camping... no choice here, he just needs to be separated from society.
(Rapture Joke Counter: 8)
Gordon: Welcome to Rapture Island. Home to the last bastion on Earth.
(Rapture Joke Counter: π)
Chico: You broke the damn counter.
Gordon: ...Sorry. But we need to give Harold some sort of fun things to do while
he awaits his last 5 months on Earth.
Chico: His, not necessarily everyone else's.
Gordon: Right. And we start with entertainment...
We'll
go with 2 shows that didn't survive the upfronts. Million Dollar Money Drop or
Shedding for the Wedding?
Chico: Shedding for the Wedding. Money Drop still makes enough bank overseas to
keep Endemol afloat. And that means more product from them.
Gordon: True, but at least Shedding was entertaining. They couldn't get MDMD
done right at all, complete with $800,000 blunder. Get rid of MDMD.
Chico: I can lose both.
Gordon: Send them both Harold's way. Next?
Wendy
Williams or the full cast of Drew Carey's Improv-a-Ganza. Both GSN concept
series are... how can I put this mildly.... TANKING. Someone needs to go and
entertain the island some more.
Gordon: Send Wendy Williams over. At least Drew has a good track record.
Chico: True. And besides, everyone else can work. Ryan, Chip, and Jeff haven't
hosted a game show yet. Lazy bums. Or Heather Anne and Kathy for that matter.
Gordon: They should - but not on the island.
Chico: No.
Gordon: Next one... We need food.
Chico: Nom nom nom
Rocky
Mountain Oysters...or Horse Meat. We know the Oysters have been served up on
Chopped. The horse meat was served up on Top Chef: Canada and received a ton of
angry hate mail, despite the fact that it is eaten in Canada as a delicacy.
Chico: And rather tasty. Rocky Mountain oysters for them, horse for us.
Gordon: It is tasty. Have you ever had it?
Chico: Why yes.
Gordon: Me too. Tastes better than chicken.
Chico: Very lean.
Gordon: Agreed. If horses weren't cute, we would be eating more of them. Much
healthier than cows or pigs.
Chico: Yep. But the folks on the island won't get any.
Gordon: Aw
Chico: Next one...
Jacob
Lusk or Pia Toscano... two fierce voices from American Idol 10 who could've been
saved by the save... but weren't, thank you Casey Abrams. Who plays the Island?
Gordon: Jacob. Pia left because the audience wasn't teenage girls. Jacob left
because he creeped out the teenage girls.
Chico: Jacob creeped out EVERYONE.
Gordon: Can we send a collection of mirrors with him?
Chico: Sure why not.
Gordon: Last one...
Justin
Bieber or Rebecca Black?
Chico: Rebecca Black. She and Harold can do a duet on this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc0s358b3Ys
Chico: "It's DOOMSDAY DOOMSDAY! Everybody dies on Doomsday! Everybody's looking
forward to the Rapture Rapture!"
(Rapture Joke Counter: Moon Cheese)
Gordon: So to sum this up...
It's the Rapture Island Extravaganza! Harold Camping will be dancing to
'Caught up in the Rapture of Love' performed by Jacob Lusk. Afterwards. the crew
will see themselves in slimming mirrors as they shed for the wedding by eating
Rocky Mountain Oysters and listening to Wendy Williams sing 'The Rapture'.
Finally, we play the Million Dollar Money Drop with all of the campaign funds
they raised as the earthquake comes...and surprisingly stops after being scared
off by the Rebecca Black / Harold Camping duet. The loud screeching voices will
cause the plate tectonics to shift back to normal, inadvertently saving
themselves from destruction.
Chico: And Sunday comes afterwards.
(Rapture Joke Counter: I QUIT!)
Chico: Okay, let's fry this baby (drops joke counter in the fry daddy)
(Rapture Joke Counter: Ow!)
Chico: SPEED ROUND IS NEXT!
Gordon: After this.
(Brought to you by Gordon and Chico's Dead Horse Society. No one knows how to
kill a joke sequence better than Gordon and Chico. Mutilating running punch
lines since 2001.)
Chico: And business is GOOD!
Gordon: Booming, even.
(Rapture Joke Counter Explodes)
Chico: ... kinda like that!
Gordon: You expected anything different when you dropped it in a deep fryer?
Chico: Nope. That said... It's SPEED ROUND TIME!
Gordon: Speed Round Starts...now! American Idol: Scotty wins, right?
Chico: Is there any way Scotty DOESN'T win?
Gordon: Scotty paints himself red, dyes his hair green and calls himself a
McRadish. Barring that, no.
Chico: MMM... McRadish. So You Think You Can Dance starts again this week...
watching?
Gordon: Do I have a choice?
Chico: No.
Gordon: DWTS: who wins?
Chico: Hines Ward.
Gordon: I'll say Chelsea Kane, since Jason picked Hines, and we all know what
happens when he does that. Celebrity Apprentice. John Rich won. Thoughts?
Chico: None, really. Donald Trump didn't care. Why should I?
Gordon: But who cares? Donald is running for office...or he's not...or he is..or
he's not...or he i...
Chico: Gordon's relapsing. Let's go to the viewer mail...
Gordon: We got any?
Chico: Why hyes. Yes we do.
Gordon: Let's hear it.
Chico: From Duane Eklof...
VIEWER
MAIL |
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Duane Eklof
Your site forgot to mention Barbara Stuart passing on May 15th at the age of 81
- she was famous to game show fans (along with her ex-hubby Dick Gautier) for
the famous 'fag' episode of "Match Game '73" that GLAAD got banned in the early
2000's. |
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Chico: Wow. I don't even remember THAT episode. You?
Gordon: I do remember that episode. I didn't realize that GLAAD banned it.
Thanks for dropping the knowledge, Duane.
Chico: Anything else, or are we posting a new question?
Gordon: Lets post up a new question.
Chico: Okay. Here's one...
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WLTI's BIG FACEBOOK
QUESTION
It's summertime! What game shows
are you looking forward to and why should we be looking forward to them as
well? |
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Gordon: Please only give us shows with new episodes. For example, if you put
down '5th grader', we'll laugh at you, then delete the post. Then laugh at you
some more after we deleted the post.
Chico: right. Spread the love at
facebook.com/wlti.gsnn!
Gordon: So that wraps up this weeks show. Special thanks to no one in
particular, since it's Chico and I today.
Chico: And eventually we got it done. We'll do better next week.
Gordon: We will. And next week is the end of our Spring Season, which means we
get...no time off before the Summer season starts. Whoopie. For Chico, this is
Gordon, saying Game Over and spread the love.
Chico: :-)
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