Episode 26.16 - Spring Cleaning
May 16

Chico: I believe NBC already had that greenlit. Love in the Wild... it's real, baby...
Gordon: Uh-huh.
Chico: Welcome back to WLTI... thanks for joining us.
Gordon: Now with all these winners coming out of the woodwork, we will need new jobs for them. Welcome to Hollywood.
Chico: Start it off.
Gordon: We start it off with...

The Robfather. Boston Rob needs a new hobby.

Chico: How about turning from the godfather to the housefather? He has $1.1 million. He can afford to take the rest of his life off.
Gordon: He could, but I could see him hosting an Amazing Race type of show. Expedition, anyone?
Chico: Nah, they have a host already. But how about going Around the World in 80 Ways?
Gordon: Why not? The win can't hurt his image.
Chico: Nope. Next...

James Durbin. He's a rock star, he's a family man, he's a hero, and unlike some Idol castoffs who can't seem to get out of the papers, Pia, he actually deserves attention. So what does he do now?

Gordon: Well, he's got the Idol tour going on. After that, I think he should go do season 2 of Platinum Hit (assuming it gets that far)
Chico: I think Platinum Hit gets hit... but I think James' career is going to go the way of Chris Daughtry's.
Gordon: I hope so. You don't want it going the way of Adam Lambert's
Chico: I give him another album.
Gordon: I think he'll get one. I don't know how many people will buy it. Next one...

Special Agent Philip. There has to be something for him to do.

Chico: Take the Money and Run? He says he's a federal agent... let's have him act like one for a change.
Gordon: I'd like to see that - or maybe bring him back if they ever revive The Mole.
Chico: Not after the last revival. Next..

Jeff Foxworthy and Mark McGrath are going to be out of the game on Friday. Jeff went to a suddenly resurgent Shark Tank. What does Mark do?

Gordon: Maybe the Singing Bee needs a new backup singer.
Chico: Maybe... or maybe that show that's Distraction on a singing stage is hiring.
Gordon: Sing If You Can.
Chico: Thank you.
Gordon: I don't think he's that high level - or British - enough.
Chico: Neither was Joey Fatone Australian enough.
Gordon: True, but Joey is a name. Mark doesn't have that same A-Level quality. Next up...

The Biggest Loser cast. They're thin and they need work.

Chico: Minute to Win It?
Gordon: They could do a bunch of stunts for charity. Or make them guests for a whole season on Top Chef and let them get fat all over again :)
Chico: Evil.
Gordon: Moi?
Chico: Toi.
Gordon: Fine. last one?
Chico: Last one...

Bobby Flay's next great restaurant... isn't that great.

Gordon: Sort of cancelled.

Indeed. What next for Bobby?

Gordon: Bobby needs to go back to Kitchen Stadium and do 1,000 pardons. Then he needs to join The Chew.
Chico: I'll agree to the 1000 pardons to the Chairman. The Chew needs to die, though.
Gordon: It hasn't even been born yet.
Chico: Fine. It needs to be stillborn, then. Happy?
Gordon: You want a wire hanger?
Chico: NO WIRE HANGERS!
Gordon: And with that, Joan will lead us to the break.
Chico: You liked that role? I've got plenty more after this.

(Brought to you by Phillip Sheppard: Man Undercover. The newest summer blockbuster from WLTI Pictures. If he can stop being bat-guano insane for a moment... then maybe he'll save the world)

Gordon: ...or maybe he's the normal one and we're all insane.
Chico: Maybe so, G.... Maybe so...
Gordon: So let's take a trip into his world and do some Roleplay.
Chico: Okay. Gordon, You are...

Carolina Eastwood. You just got proposed to on the live reunion show. So who's the bigger winner... You or Rob Mariano?

Gordon: Well me, of course. Don't you know I always get what I (bleep)ing want?
Chico: So you pretty much asked for this, then
Gordon: Well, no, I was (bleep)ing blind sided, da(bleep)it.
Chico: But you got a ring out of it at least. But wasn't it worth it?
Gordon: I like David, but I'm high maintenance. Matt's hot...but Lawyers are rich, so David's a keeper.
Chico: Hey, you made it one sentence without (^_^)ing cursing. Good for you.
Gordon: (bleep) you.
Chico: (^_^) you!
Gordon: Lets get back on the road, here, Chico you are...

Phil Keoghan. Are you happy that The Amazing Race inked you to a few more years, or bummed because you're not going to win the best game show host Emmy this year?

Chico: I'm pretty much happy where I am right now. I got another season out of CBS, and if it's like the last season... okay, the season before that, I might get another. As for the Emmy, well, I was never in the running, and I'm just going to wait until the Primetime Emmys come out to see what hapepns.
Gordon: Do you think your appearance on Million Dollar password hurt your chances?
Chico: Nah, because I don't think anyone'll remember it... Except for Chad Mosher. Nice guy, that Chad.
Gordon: He wants to jump you in the parking lot. Well I would. So who am I now?
Chico: You're horrible is who you are. =p
Gordon: Thank you.
Chico: Heh. You are...

Regis Philbin. Dancing with the Stars... would you at least consider it?

Gordon: Absolutely not. ABC cancelled Millionaire and they wouldn't paid me what I want on Live with Regis & Kelly. Why in the world would I do anything for them?
Chico: Because you're the king of television and you're classy like that.
Gordon: They don't have the right price for me. Maybe I'll make Gelman do it.
Chico: That'd be cool.
Gordon: He can be the first one out and I'll laugh at him
Chico: Because he's Gelman.
Gordon: He is. Chico, you are...

The swivel chair on The Voice.

Chico: I'm a sexy chair.
Gordon: Sexy indeed and very bright and shiny.

You have a new season in 2012, and you're not even at the live part of this season. Are you getting tired with all this potential action?

Chico: I'm getting tired and hurt, but it's a good hurt. As long as NBC keeps treating it right, you know... It looks like America loves the chair.
Gordon: It is a nice chair. Do you prefer Christina Aguilera or Cee Lo Green?
Chico: Christina Aguilera has a nice tight...um...I can't say it here, can I?
Gordon: Nope.
Chico: Fine. Gordon, you are...

GSN. There was a recent blog post about production companies not even making time for a pitch unless there is a name involved. As a network that has put B-listers on steaming piles of game shows for the last two years, how do you react to such a charge?

Gordon: I think that's great. We need to make a name for ourselves. Forget good concepts. People turn in to see stars! This is how to get the ratings.
Chico: Yeah, how are ratings for Drew Carey's Improv-a-Ganza, by the way?
Gordon: Who cares? We got buzz, baby BUZZ! Charlie Sheen for the win
Chico: And Love Triangle? You're being beaten by 30-year-old reruns of CARD SHARKS.
Gordon: Wendy was a F level celebrity. We want BIG STARS now. Maybe we can get Charlie Sheen to host a show. What do you think?
Chico: Not winning.
Gordon: Fine then. Finally. Chico you are...

Emily, from Chico's faaaaavorite show, The Bachelor.

Chico: Wonderful.

Brad and you are doneski. What do you think about bedding one Chico Alexander?

Chico: Chico? Alexander? From that GSNN site?
Gordon: Yeah. The sexy bald stud-muffin
Chico: .... What the hell. I let that jerk Brad hit it for free.
Gordon: Whoo hoo. Chico's got a date.
Chico: About time, too. Also about time to wrap this puppy up. One more break, and then we're going to speed it up.

(Brought to you by X Fear Factor. If you sing well, you advance to the next round. If you sing poorly, you are dropped into a cage of awful creepy crawlies. Round 1: Madagascar hissing Cockroaches and Mealworms.)

Chico: Yum.
Gordon: Its all about the mealworms.
Chico: Happy Meal.... worms. Okay, let's go to the Big finish! We call it the Speed Round and it starts.... RIGHT NOW!
Gordon: Idol: who doesn't make the finale?
Chico: Lauren.
Gordon: Scotty's fan base gets the wakeup call they need. Lauren goes bye bye. DWTS: Who doesn't make the Top 3?
Chico: Kirstie. I say the fans finally get the kick in the pants they've been looking for.
Gordon: I'll go with that.
Chico: Any big winners on this finale week?
Gordon: I think one or two. Nothing too big though. Any email this week?
Chico: Nope, but I have a post on our Facebook wall... From Chris Jacobs...

“

Chris Jacobs Ya know, the first four hours of The Voice were the most fun I've had watching a reality competition in a good long time. That fun factor is gone now, and even though the show is still interesting, it is poorer because of it.

”

Gordon: I agree with Chris. It's a shame after we get a group of 8, we boot off 4. It would be more fun for the audience to decide.
Chico: The audience will get its say later on down the line, but if we're going to go on professional opinions, I think it's good that it happens like this.
Gordon: True. And now we get a new question this week...

“

WLTI'S BIG FACEBOOK QUESTION American Idol and Dancing With The Stars. Who wins them?

”

Chico: I'll say Scotty and Hines. Sounds like a new show on TNT.
Gordon: Scotty and Chelsea for me. And that ends the show. Special thanks to no one in particular, as it's just Chico and me.
Chico: Next week, the epic season finale of epic epicness. ... part one.
Gordon: Sounds epic.
Chico: It is. Until then, for Gordon Pepper and everyone at GSNN, I'm Chico Alexander.... game over... and spread the love. :-)