Episode 20.18
May 11

Chico: It's the only show on TV that will show athletes taking one in the butt.
Jason: Wow.
Gordon: And when you take it up the ass, you REALLY take it up the ass.
Jason: Audiences have been for years with certain shows.
Chico: Okay, that was just wrong. And now, for some other examples of funny wrong, which we'll measure on a scale from 1 to 15. Why 15? .... Why not? First up...

People who, after 65 episodes of Catch 21, still don't know how to properly clear the end game...

JUST WEIRD

KINDA WRONG

WRONG

REALLY WRONG

EVERYBODY PANIC

Jason: Honestly...its about a 3.
Gordon: Some of it is luck based and a grasp of numbers. 4... The people...the civilians...they aren't like us, son.
Chico: Awww, but daaaaaaaaaddy.
Jason: You think it's higher...put it up.
Chico: Seriously, though. It's all about strategy, knowledge, and luck of the draw. But if you take a chance instead of copping out on your power chips, you stand a better chance of winning. I give it 4. That averages to a... 4.
Gordon: Next one...

The now annoying habit of people unintentionally putting up 5 figured Contestant Row bids on The Price is Right.

JUST WEIRD

KINDA WRONG

WRONG

REALLY WRONG

EVERYBODY PANIC

Chico: Only slightly more annoying than item #1. 5.
Jason: That's near the middle...about 6
Gordon: 9. This one should be more common sense in nature. Its a podium with 4 digits. Chances are the item won't have 5 digits in it.
Chico: Next time we're in the line, we'll make it a habit of spreading the word... "People... please don't bid more than 4 digits. It's annoying." In fact... let me just post the sign now...and I'll post it with every bid that warrants it.



Gordon: Yay! Street Smarts Revisited!
Chico: Okay, that averages to a.... 7! Next up...

Gushing over the next pilot order for whatever it is that may OR may not replace Guiding Light.

JUST WEIRD

KINDA WRONG

WRONG

REALLY WRONG

EVERYBODY PANIC

Jason: Not that annoying...it's about 5.
Chico: Let's Make a Deal and The Dating Game are the latest candidates.
Jason: The only people gushing are fanboys. We are talking about in a critical perspective.
Chico: I'd love to see LMAD back on the air... but let's be real here... So far all we have is a pilot order. And besides... they already have LMAD... it's called "The Price is Right".
Jason: Chico...you didn't just say that did you?
Chico: Tell me I'm wrong.
Jason: Let me start.
Chico: I mean, the two shows have striking similarities.
Gordon: I think a Game Show block from 10-12 would be really viable. As much fun as it is to gush, it's way too early to speculate. 1. And Chico, you're wrong.
Jason: Not even close. This is about the most misinformed statement you have ever made.
Gordon: TPIR is about pricing. LMAD is all about trading and making deals. There are traces of elements in each one, but it's not anywhere remotely similar.
Chico: I'm going with 6. Simply because from a critical standpoint... it's annoying. That averages to a... 4. So far, we've not seen anything out-rightly wrong....YET. But if I know G... you have something up that sleeve of yours.
Gordon: Try me :)
Chico: Present, kind sir.
Gordon: I present to you...

The Adam Lambert Collage of him canoodling around with other guys that's been floating around the internet.

JUST WEIRD

KINDA WRONG

WRONG

REALLY WRONG

EVERYBODY PANIC

Jason: 11. It shouldn't matter a with if he is gay or not.
Chico: Not that there's anything wrong with that... 9. It's more of a grade of "We get it. You're gay." Personally, I don't care. I'm only concerned with one thing... your voice... IT's a good one.
Jason: A damn good one.
Gordon: 13. Not because of what he is doing. But because of what people are using it for. Apparently, people are using this to stop others from voting for him. You can like or not like someone's beliefs, but that's a pretty foul motivation for doing something like that.
Chico: People... it's a game show. It will end with a winner, but you know what... Life goes on. It's almost like whoever's doing it, I just want to say "So you have solved all of the world's ills, and now you're concentrating on this"... Come on now.
Jason: As a matter of fact...they are comparing to another Idol winner...in the UK...Will Young. He has done pretty well for himself, no?
Chico: Four albums. I almost picked up the fourth when I was in NYC. Still don't know why I didn't. Gordon, you were there. Why didn't I get that?
Gordon: You were running low on funds after having way too much fun in NYC.
Chico: Ah.
Jason: Will Young came out right after winning Pop Idol. And I think Adam will do the same.
Gordon: Its amazing that we won't spend the time to donate to help charities or show up to stock a soup kitchen or give time to help others, but we can spend hours reading up on gossip or make trashy pictures? What's up with your priorities?
Chico: That gives us a... 11. Okay, next...While we're stuck on relations...

Derek & Julianne Hough and the possibility of them acting opposite each other in Footloose... in every sense.

JUST WEIRD

KINDA WRONG

WRONG

REALLY WRONG

EVERYBODY PANIC

Jason: 1. Don't care. Means nothing to me.
Gordon: 8 in 46 states. 1 in Utah, Arkansas, West Virginia and North Carolina.
Chico: South Carolina... SOUTH! 2.
Gordon: How do you think they got so many Osmonds?
Chico: Do you REALLY want me to answer that?
Gordon: ...why yes. Yes I do.
Chico: You see, Gordon, when a man and a woman love each other... repeatedly...
Gordon: and repeatedly with other men and women?
Chico: Okay, before we get into trouble.. AGAIN... Gordon, last one?
Gordon: Last one...

The commercials for Dance Your Ass Off - with real big women dancing their ass off.

JUST WEIRD

KINDA WRONG

WRONG

REALLY WRONG

EVERYBODY PANIC

Chico: I have no problem with big women. That said... 13. Flesh for days.
Gordon: Ok. I think it's admirable that these people are landing on our TV set and trying to lose weight. As much as I think it's great, I do not need them jiggling it at me a la Dancing With The Stars. And no, I don't want to be around when the week's theme is Beach Bikini Bingo. 13.
Chico: Yeah, you do. Come on. You know it's about as competitive as it gets.
Gordon: I think Block needs to cover the show.
Jason: I haven't seen the commercials....but yeah...10. And no, he doesn't need to cover the show.
Gordon: He likes the female roles. And now, he can like the female rolls as well.,
Jason: ewwwww :)
Chico: And that's why we play the game. Okay, time to put away the McLaughlin-ometer before it breaks. In the meantime, we're going to break out our English-Hollywood dictionaries for Read Between the Lines after the break.

(Brought to you by Who Wants to Be a Millionaire... Host? Ten people get a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to sit in the famed host's chair and give away Disney's money! *no phone-ins, please)

Jason: HELL YES! (lays out suit, resume)
Gordon: I don't think Jason would be remotely interested in that.
Jason: EXCUSE ME! Yes! (Waves) Pick me! Yes! HellO!...YO!
Chico: Yeah, man.. I mean, could you be a little more excited? You're like freaking Stonehenge here.
Jason: LOL
Gordon: I think he's turned into an emotionless Cyberman.
Jason: You. Both. Suck.
Chico: Heh. Welcome back. And if you're still reading us after that last game... Bless you.
Gordon: Now it's time for the industry to show us what they got and for us to decipher what they mean - time to Read Between the Lines.
Chico: First one has to do with our favorite American Idol judge ever.

Paula Abdul, after an article where she revealed to have been addicted to painkillers... "It was very stressful for me to hear that and to be quoted saying something I never said," Paula said on WKQI's Mojo in the Morning radio show today. "I've never checked into a rehab clinic. I've never been addicted or abused drugs, and I've never been addicted or abused alcohol. I've never even been drunk in my life."

Jason: She said that while she was on drugs.
Chico: Said what, the first thing or the other thing? Or does it really matter?
Jason: No and no.
Gordon: Welcome to the Paula Abdul school of face-saving. Maybe if I can do enough interviews, the mess that was 'Hey Paula' will go away.
Chico: I'll take "No Chance in Hell" for $200, Alex.
Gordon: Next one...

Wipeout Goes on a Road Trip! Now YOU can try out on the Wipeout Course and get your video uploaded to Sicial Networking sites!

Chico: Translation: Unpaid Placement Masquerading as Viral Video, here we come!...balls.
Jason: Translation: Let's get all those people who will do it for free...to do whatever they wanted! And we can use it! Yay!
Gordon: We'll let you play with our equipment. You guys get to do our advertising for us, That's right, million of advertisers promoting our show for the Summer. And you people will eat it up like it's hotcakes. And let me say, for the record, that if they use the real obstacles from the course and allow people to play through it, that this is a stroke of genius.
Jason: Agreed.
Chico: I'd play through it. You?
Gordon: I would.
Jason: Yes. Bring it on.
Chico: Nice. Next...This is Tim Crescenti on why there are so little American series up for the Rose d'Or won, ironically, by an American show centered around a Japanese game show. Now that you're thoroughly confused, here's the quote:

"Maybe it's because so many of the shows on air in America now come from here -- from Europe, Asia or South America. Maybe Americans are afraid to compete with you."

Jason: Translation: Americans dont have any original concepts to compete with you.
Chico: We haven't had an original idea since Double Dare in 1985.
Gordon: American Producers don't have the creativity to think out of a showbox nor do they have the balls to actually take a chance on the untapped talent from many zealous fanboys in the U.S.
Chico: We'd rather have a format that works, and/or a name with some star power to host it. Because that attracts eyeballs... IT'S THE GAME, STUPID.
Jason: Yeah!
Gordon: Though we won't get that much money from the format since we didn't market it. You do realize that we haven't had a US based Primetime Game Show Hit in Years, right?
Jason: Not since...?
Chico: ... Does Super Jeopardy! count?
Jason: No.
Gordon: Probably The Price is Right in Primetime
Chico: Then TPIR in primetime. But you're talking regular series television so... I don't think I was even alive then.
Gordon: Next one...

NEW to the Summer! Watch new episodes of your favorite game shows like Million Dollar Password! Deal Or No Deal! and Opportunity Knocks! NEW! NEW! NEW!

Chico: Burnoff! Fire sale!
Jason: Yeah.
Chico: Everything must go!
Gordon: Recession Fever!
Chico: Our loss is your gain!
Gordon: Watch It Before It Goes to Hulu!
Jason: Or Joost!
Chico: Due to an influx of product that we thought people would actually watch, I'm overflowing with excess episodes, and I'm passing the savings on to YOU!!!!
Jason: But wait...if you watch this...we will give you a 2 hour extended edition!
Gordon: ..yeah. Imagine 9 months ago when we said that same phrase and there was much hope instead of resigned pity.
Chico: Yeah, don't remind me.
Gordon: And this is what happens when you take a good show and run it into the ground, add stupid gimmicks and focus on that or the bad celebrities instead of the gameplay.
Chico: Don't make me say the line again. I swear to god I'm going to say it...
Gordon: May as well.
Chico: IT'S THE GAME, STUPID!
Gordon: There. feel better?
Chico: Yes. I got a two-fer next. See what you can discern from this...

Jewel said...

As bad as I felt for Melissa, who I hope feels better and comes back, I'm used to our cowboy athletes that live by the rule: 'ride hurt or don't get a score,"

and THEN she said...

"I can't believe my comment on Ty [Murray her husband]'s website got so mangled!"

Chico: Translation: Jewel's favorite place to eat... the Waffle House. She posted her honest (maybe) feelings and... surprisingly... people had a problem with this! So lest she risk ostracizing and losing out on all that money to be made... in comes a backpedal. It's like playing the Steve Wozniak card all over again!
Jason: Chico is exactly right. She said her true feelings...Melissa had three broken ribs...and Jewel comes off as an insensitive bitch. Hence the tap dance.
Gordon: First quote - "If I can play the pity card, I can see if I can get my lovey dovey Ty a few more weeks in the competition or even win the whole thing..."
Chico: Which would explain the Lil' Kim upset.
Gordon: Second quote - "Oh dear. People are pissed that Lil Kim Left. And now they are upset with me and that could cause my cd sales to go down. I may as well play the role of Switzerland and be nicey nice. Hell it worked for the Dixie Chicks."
Chico: But Gordon, the Dixie Chicks aren't ready to make nice. They wrote a song about it and everything!
Gordon: They weren't ready to make nice until they were ready to make green.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: Isn't that how it always is? GET THE MONEY! Okay, last up...
Gordon: Last one..

New! It's the Bachelorette! Watch 25 men go after Jillian - and then watch it turn into 30 with...5 secret guys! I bet you can't wait!

Jason: Translation: The 25 guys suck...we need all the help we can get.
Chico: ... what J said. Further... We love drama. More drama... more ratings...Love be damned.
Jason: What's the actual success rate? 1 for 19?
Chico: So far. We need to see another marriage before we can ratchet it up We have break, break, break, break, "life partner", break then make, break, break, break, double break, break and break. And that's just "the Bachelor" For the ladies, it's still 1 for 4. So there you go. It's not about love. It's about drama. I wonder how many of the suitors/bachelors actually know about this?
Gordon: Our ratings for this franchise are starting to slip, so we need all the help we can get. And we want to put the 5 extra guys in there because we know that Chico loooooooooves the show so much that he can't wait to see the extra episodes. Don't you, Chico?
Jason: Admit it Chico...you were one of the 5.
Chico: I've seen Jillian. I would hit that. I don't like the show... but I'd hit that.
Gordon: And now, we break
Chico: Speed Round is next!

(Brought to you by Big Mother. Inside the Big Mother House, you have to do challenges like cook the food, do the dishes and cook the slop in such a way that your mother would like it. Take it from Julie Chen, who is going to be a new mother in her own right. Do the challenges for the moms. Happy Mother's Day!)

Jason: I am waiting for the poopy diaper challenge
Chico: Gross.
Gordon: Who's up for baby spit recognizance?
Chico: Yuck. Alrighty, kids. Time's running short, so I'll give the wheel o' subjects a final spin...and we'll play the Speed Round.... starting now! Idol... Who's not going to Nokia?
Jason: Kris Allen.
Gordon: Adam Lambert, in a shocking upset.
Chico: I'll be different and say Danny Gokey. Seriously, it's open for anyone.
Gordon: Sure is. Survivor. Who wins?
Chico: I'm going to go with Erinn. If she isn't voted out yet, she's never going to be.
Jason: Give Me J.T. Consistent since Day 1.
Gordon: I'll go Stephen because he's the smoother talker.
Chico: Alright. Dancing... can we get rid of Ty... PLEASE?
Gordon: I think the audience will be pissed and send him home. Celebrity Apprentice: Annie has this in the bag, right?
Chico: Of course!
Jason: Yes. If she doesn't win...this season will have been a waste of time.
Gordon: The other one, jay?
Chico: Amazing Race: Who wins the Million?
Gordon: I'M going to go Tammy/Victor.
Chico: Margie & Luke. Never doubt the host.
Jason: Tammy and Victor's decision not to U-Turn Margie & Luke will doom them. Margie & Luke wins.
Gordon: I think the host is trying to misdirect you
Jason: Even so...Luke becomes one of the greatest reality show players of all time.
Gordon: Definitely in the Top 10
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: The only disappointment is if the Cheerleaders win.
Gordon: I don't think they will.
Chico: Nope.
Gordon: Do we have amazing mail?
Chico: Yes we do. This is from Agent Josh. Thanks, Agent! =p

Chico: Thanks, Josh... I have to agree with you on that. The legacy of Millionaire is just too big for such a flimsy game to hold.
Jason: Honestly, even without the name branding...the show is just....eh.
Gordon: Actually Josh, you've proved our point. If it's coming from Millionaire, then it needs to be a good product, not a retread, which unfortunately proves our point. If it's going to come from a Millionaire brand, then the quality must be original and A grade, which by all standards, it isn't.
Chico: True.
Jason: How it got a second season...I don't know. It's still crap.
Chico: They had an audience against Deal or No Deal. That's how
Gordon: DOND must be slipping across the world like in the USA.
Chico: It was bound to happen somehow. But still... The Hot Seat had some big shoes to fill... and it just... didn't. While we're at that point, we have another visitor.



Chico: Hi, Augustus... you're looking well.
Jason: Um...why is he here?
Gordon: He's eating. 'Black Poker Stars Invitational', 'I know My Kids a Star' and 'Rock the Cradle' are in his belly.
Jason: (whispers) Don't disturb him while he eats.
Chico: My god he's eating a lot.
Jason: But somehow he looks well. For a zombie anyway.
Chico: Must be doing the elliptical.
Jason: Zumba for Zombies :)
Gordon: (whispering) While he eats, let's end the show so we can get out of here before he sees us and gets hungry again. Special thanks to Jason Block.
Jason: Thank you.
Gordon: Send mail to wlti@gameshownewsnet.com or find us on Facebook, MySpace or YouTube
Chico: Until next week, he's Gordon. I'm Chico. Big thanks to Block. Happy Mother's Day... and spread the love. *tiptoes out*
Gordon: Here Augustus. I've got some yummy cheese wedges shaped in a circle this way. (Leads Augustus out).