Episode 20.2
January 19

Chico: Howdy hey, It's Chico with you... and I'm in New York City right now... where it's really ... really... cold.
Jason: You don't know cold.
Chico: Colder than a pool in the middle of a Hole in the Wall.
Jason: The pool is frozen over by now.
Chico: Which makes that show a liiiitle bit more entertaining.
Gordon: Actually, based on last week, it's nice and balmy at 29 degrees.
Chico: I'd rather than nice and balmy at 79 degrees... but oh well. Hey, speaking of hot... We've got a new season... a new show... and the return of two favorites as from somewhere in America... the America Has Frozen Over edition of WLTI... is... ON!
Gordon: Yay! Gordon here, and amidst the snowflakes, we introduce our special guests. First of all, from Brooklyn, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: Long time no speak, guys.
Gordon: All of 6 hours ago.
Chico: And from Canada, who sent us this arctic air mass to begin with... Don Harpwood.
Don: It's really cold!
Jason: How bad is it where you are?
Don: At least it stopped snowing... for now.
Chico: That's more than can be said for us down here. But that's for another day, right now, we begin with the big story...A little show on Fox you might've heard of...Hole in the Throat.
Jason: Huh?
Chico: It's where people who think they can sing fall over right after Simon tears them a new one.
Jason: Ah...American Idol.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: We start season 8, appropriately, where we left season 7, with David Cook defeating David Archuleta. And we start again with thousands of people trying to be on that same stage.
Chico: New season. New singers... New judge.
Jason: Cute judge.
Chico: Very much so, and very... umm.. to the point.
Jason: She is more Simon than Paula.
Chico: Yes, and that's a good thing.
Gordon: It's a very good thing. Kara makes more sense than Randy Jackson, and it seems like Kara will give the show a breath of fresh air.
Chico: Yep. Other than that, it's the same old song...We start the audition tour with Phoenix and KC...And we have these memorable characters...Big Board me.

Chico: This one's called "Audition Oddities... Part 1." So far, we have... YouTube boy...
Jason: Von Smith
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Bikini Girl
Chico: Blind guy who can really blow.
Jason: Jason Castro's Brother.
Chico: Apples don't fall far from the tree there. Asian Dude with Afro...didn't make the cut. White Michael Jackson... also didn't make the cut. Now here's the thing I have with the audition. One of the rules to the audition, written or no, is "dress to impress". Or at least dress to be unique.
Gordon: If Chico came to audition in a bikini, he wouldn't be impressing - but that would be unique.
Jason: My eyes.
Don: Eww...
Chico: I think I'd get arrested for that. But at the same time, remember why you're there. You're there to sing.
Jason: Yeah, but costumes usually don't work. There was bikini guy last year.
Gordon: More like Princess Leia's slave wench. But it will get you in the door. That being said, you have to sing well to get in the Top 36 from 147 qualifiers.
Chico: It's like, imagine you're in the room with Simon grouping you in fours.
Jason: Exactly.
Chico: Then he says, "Take a look. Odds are that everyone in your group will be gone by the end of the week."
Jason: Could be.
Gordon: It's a 1 out of 4 ratio. So if you're in a quartet for the group sing, odds are that only 1 of you in the group will get to make it to the audience call-in segment of the show.
Chico: But you have to be a good singer... of course, you also have to make good television, which is what worries me, because a) Bikini Girl is going in trying to get attention by any means possible, and 2) She's a GOOD singer... Not necessarily a GREAT singer.
Jason: Agreed.
Don: Yep.
Chico: But she's going to coast on the fact that she's cute AND that her and Green Ranger... err, Kara, had that singing battle going on. You remember the singing battle going on, right?
Jason: It's the LOOK AT ME aspect of Idol of that usually gets straightened out by the top 36
Chico: We can only hope.
Gordon: I don't agree with you. I see her gone in the first cut.
Chico: And that's the classic problem with AI. You're not exactly looking for the best singer, but you're looking for a good show... and if you happen to find a singer with what the new judge calls "Chops".. well, that's a bonus. So the question now... Do we have chops yet?
Gordon: Way too early. Only two shows, and weeks worth of shows to go, including a number of people who we won't see during the auditions but we will see during Hollywood week.
Chico: And half of them won't even make it to the top 12. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. As for the new judge... well, I was sold when she was in the middle of a critique and she said... and now I'm quoting... "Hold on one second, b*tch." #2 rule of Idol... don't speak unless spoken to by the judges, for they ultimately hold your fate in your hands, but that's another subject for another week.
Jason: Agreed.
Gordon: So all in all, a good start for Idol so far?
Jason: Yes.
Don: It was about as good a start as I expected.
Chico: Yep. But you know, it's not the destination, it's the journey, and we hope you tag along for the ride.
Gordon: But that wasn't the only talent show to start their journey this week.
Chico: Nope. We've had singing, now we're going to have dancing.
Gordon: We start with America's Best Dance Crew, which, as could be expected, was red-hot. They changed a few things on the show to make it hot. For starters, there are no more regional tryouts - because we are are not represented equally geographically. 4 teams from California, 2 teams from Florida, 1 team from NYC, 1 team from Alabama, and 1 team from San Juan.
Jason: Boricua! Ho!
Chico: Nice
Gordon: 4 West Coasters, 3 East Coasters, 1 Southern team, and 1 team from out of country. Unfortunately, they will stay out of country, because the team from San Juan, G.O.P Dance, went bye-bye in week #1.
Chico: Shame, really. I wanted to see if they had something else.
Gordon: Puerto Ricans have not had good luck on this show. Ssshhhh, made up of all Latina women, got knocked off on the audition show last season. but Team Millennia, who was also knocked out on the Audition Show last season, is back, new and fierce. Another change - J.C. Chassez will be showing up in mid-season. While that's going on, we'll have members of Season 1 Champs The JabbaWockeeZ judging. This week, we had Rainen Paguio
Chico: I thought it was pretty cool for the guys whose career was made by the show to come back and give back as it were, you know?
Jason: JabbaWockeez...spokes dancers for Gatorade.
Gordon: And it's very evident early that MTV went for the best 9 teams. It was a smoking debut.
Jason: I will definitely check it out online.
Chico: Good call. This is part sporting event, part talent show. It's pretty fierce.
Don: Sounds really cool.
Gordon: We move from cool to tool. This week was the debut of Tool Academy.
Jason: Oh my god, this was brutally bad.
Chico: VH1's newest exercise in self-improvement. Here's the scene, right...Nine men's men have been recruited by their girlfriends for a show they think is called "Mr. Awesome". The bait-and-switch in this case... their GFs believe that they're complete... well, tools. So now it's off to boot camp to see if they can save their relationships... and since it's on VH1... it's done for fun... AND profit. So they can graduate from being a tool.
Gordon: Yes, but it's not limited to the contestants.
Jason: ROFL
Gordon: Let's start with the Bad first: It's another in the line of 'Charm School' shows where people will be booted for either not conforming enough or conforming too much too quickly. The concept is tooly. The host, Jordan Murphy, was from another Tooly show called For Love or Money.
Chico: And he himself is tooly. He reeks of smarm. He's dramatic with EVERYTHING.
Jason: And the contestants seem to come from the SAG school of reality show contestants. Everything about this show blew. And for the most they are...or are acting like they are! But everything about this show reeked of fakery.
Chico: AND... there's one more thing on episode #2...During a "therapy" session with the resident "therapist" (which means that she might be legit, but I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't)... in comes another person swearing that she is someone's GF. Apparently Shawn is down with OPP. Yeah you know me.
Don: Oh my...
Gordon: Now you don't think that for a moment that this was planned by the producers, do you?
Chico: NO! Why the heck would you think something like that?
Jason: Of course not
Gordon: We had Shawn, who had that issue, Clarence, who has a 'Celebrity' persona who was causing drama in the house, and Joey, who acted like a tool but didn't cause any drama in the house. Guess which person got booted?
Chico: I'll give you a hint. a) when someone dumps you on television... it's good television. 2) When you have a flamboyant personality and you like to cause drama... it's good television.
Gordon: 3. boring people does not make good TV. 4. Producers want the boring people to be off the TV set as soon as possible.
Jason: Especially in the VH1 world.
Chico: Goodbye, Joey.
Jason: And he wore a WWE Shawn Michaels hat. Not cool.
Gordon: Now for the good things.
Chico: You mean there were some?
Gordon: Well, yes, believe it or not. The show is produced well. It's formulaic, but it does know what it's doing. They also added a twist with the women having the option to dump the guys or stay with them. So far the women have both decided to stand by their men. And Jordan Murphy is better than Alfonso Ribiero.
Jason: You are giving this show WAY too much credit.

	TOOL ACADEMY - VH1
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	DON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D-	D-	F	NO GRADE	D-

Gordon: ...not that much. It gets a D- from me.
Chico: If I am assessing the show, then not at all. If I'm assessing the game, well... it's nothing we haven't seen before you know? But yeah. It's been done and much better (ironically, by Charm School). D-
Jason: For me, everything about this show seems FAKE. The host is fake, the therapist is FAKE, the drama is FAKE, and the contestants are tools...even after the show goes off the air. This is an F. For FAKE.
Gordon: What do you feel about Penn and Teller?
Chico: They're pretty good for a laugh.
Jason: I like them as illusionists. And their Showtime show is cool.
Don: I think they're cool.
Chico: Can't sing for jack, but what are you going to do.
Gordon: They sort of sang, when they were on Don't Forget the Lyrics. Unfortunately, they get exposed by The Doors. Hey Jason, wanna sing Love Me Two Times?
Jason: I am not a fan but I will try...
Chico: Time for a sing-along.
Gordon: 9 words. Here we go!

Love me one time
Could not speak
Love me one time
Yeah my knees got weak
Love me ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____

Jason: Two times girl...Last Me All through the week
Gordon: Hey Jason...I hear that you did well in your football pool.
Jason: Yes, I just won $350....:)
Gordon: And... you did just as well here. You got it right.
Jason: Woo :)
Chico: Yay.
Gordon: Penn and Teller say....two times baby last me all through the week. So they get bumped down to $25,000. That was sour. Let's get sweeter. This whole week, we had Splenda Week on Deal or No Deal.
Chico: Explain how that went.
Gordon: Now what was supposed to have happened this week was that when the Splenda case was found, the deal would be sweetened by $10,000.
Jason: Yummy.
Don: Sweet.
Chico: And indeed it was sweet... from the games I saw anyway.
Gordon: However, what wound up happening is that the contestants went a case (or in a few examples, many cases) too far, and then use the case as a $10,000 Bailout at the end.
Jason: Which is a bad gameplay mechanic
Chico: Still saved them from a sour deal.
Chico: Even though it kinda backfired.
Don: It was really weird seeing that case used in that way every time...
Gordon: It was - but that's a mechanic of the game, albeit screwy.
Chico: At least it wasn't one of those primetime level mechanics that's just weird, you know?
Gordon: You mean like Hole in the Wall?
Chico: Yeah, like Hole in the Wall. For most of us, football ended too early on Fox, so what are we to do but air...HOLE IN THE WALL!
Jason: Ack! Thud!
Chico: Doesn't that just excite the piss out of you?
Gordon: So why are we chatting about it?
Don: *Shrugs*
Gordon: Because on this show, one team...won $100,000!
Chico: And all they had to do was go through a hole... in a wall.
Gordon: It would be The Gyrating Gents, and they win $100,000 by one of the easiest positions yet - a small square like figure in the bottom corner of the wall.
Chico: Seems like... hmm... yeah.
Gordon: So as much as it pains me to do this....here...


The Gyrating Gents

Jason: I can't believe it.
Don: Wow.
Gordon: Now let's do Brainvision before I have to take a shower to wipe this stink off. Roll That Beautiful Brain footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug
Gordon: And Chico, before I use this on the Wall (hands Chico the Business End Bat)
Chico: Okay, first up...

This was the big move this week... SONY, fresh off the deal with Michael Davies, buys out said person's production company.

Gordon: Good move by Sony. Although not all of Davies shows have been hits from a ratings stand-point, they have mostly been solid.
Jason: I think this will pay off. This make Sony a game show monster...Endemol needs to watch themselves.
Chico: Michael Davies has a dynamic mind and is really creative. And to add his library to Sony's... it just bolsters their product.
Gordon: He does. Does he do green lights?
Chico: Yes he does. Next up...

Going out west to California, where we usher in a new game from the California Lottery called "Make Me a Millionaire". It replaces the departing "Big Spin" The show features 12 contestants who will try and turn $2100 into a million.

Jason: Whoo.
Chico: The game itself is played in four rounds, with the last round being played for a million plus $200,000 for every week it is not won...as for how it is...Don't know. Haven't seen it.. But I grew up watching the Big Spin and it breaks me to see it go. Oh well. I'll live. Next?
Gordon: Next up - it's Dancing with the Datebook!
Chico: dun da dun dun DUN!

No Debuts this week, but TPR has show #7000 on Monday and Rick Springfield helps out potential singers on Friday, while it's teacher's week on Wheel of Fortune.

Chico: Good stuff, good stuff.
Jason: Seems that way.
Don: Yep.
Gordon: After seeing Drew Carey host show #7,000, we may all have to get fully loaded.
Chico: Got a hot one this week.
Jason: HIC

This week on Youtube, we have a first look at the set of Jeopardy! to be used at CES. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdDlFmMu8iY&feature=channel_page

Jason: Drool. Slurp. Gadget Envy.
Chico: Some highlights... the video wall is replaced by 36 42" plasmas. The podia is self-contained on another set of plasmas turned to their sides. The desk is as smooth as ice... There's some more, but let me tell ya something... it's pretty sexy.
Jason: It's modern without being cold.
Don: It looks really great!
Gordon: I've got something...not so great.
Chico: You would.

Are YOU Smarter than...Adela Lupse, who gets fired from her call-in show after destroying the phone on the set when no one called in with an answer to a question.

Chico: Talk about overzealous.
Jason: She needed a bit of anger management.
Chico: I've seen Mel Peachey at her worst, but.... damn.
Gordon: And as for Haterade, we have our guest who has come back from Zombie La Pista. Meet...The LOVE Zombie.
Chico: *awwww yeah*
Jason: Awwwww.....

David Cook and Kimberly Caldwell - no longer an item. So sorry.

Chico: He became a platinum selling artist. She became host of a CBS show that's still waiting to see the light of day. Personally... I didn't see it coming.
Gordon: Do you see world traveling coming?
Chico: Yep. We're going to... I don't know, let's go to India. You've all seen Slumdog Millionaire, right? It's the darling of the world...Well, we know one person who DOESN'T like what he sees...

Millionaire's Indian former host Amitabh Bhachchan says that the film portrays India in a negative light. He says, "If SM projects Indian as a third-world developing nation and causes pain and disgust... let it be known that a murky underbelly exists and thrives even in the most developed nations.

Gordon: Thats not good for Millionaire.
Chico: Nope. On the bright side, it did win a Golden Globe, and it's up for a BAFTA.
Gordon: And that's where we find some hoes.

In this week's Media Ho Report, Howie Mandel is ok and out of the hospital, Sharon Osbourne wins a libel suit, RuPaul's Drag Race shows up on February 2...Paula Abdul is changing her Paula Goodspeed story, Kara DioGuardi is engaged, Bob Barker donared to UVA Law...Ricardo Montalban passes, Taj Johnson-George of SWV is a contestant on Survivor, and the Idol judges make their interviews for the season.

Gordon: But none of them are the hoes of the week.
Chico: I have a feeling, but you tell me who it is.
Gordon: We have 2 hoes. The first one is Jennifer Hudson, who will also be singing during the Superbowl. The second one - America's Best Dance Crew' Hok, who used to be the same Hok on So You Think You Can Dance, and who is part of one of the 8 surviving dance crews.
Chico: This would make the third show he was a part of.
Gordon: Yep. 2 versions of SYTYCD and this. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: Okay, before we shut it down, quick Casting Couch.

J! is holding the online Test... Week of January 26.

Gordon: I'll be taking it. Why not you?
Chico: Register at Jeopardy.com
Gordon: And that's Brainvision. Shut it down.
Jason: (Shutting Down)
Gordon: When we come back, we have a very special 20 Questions with Million Dollar Password winner Chad Mosher.
Chico: And still to come after that, grab your remotes for a world premiere game. This is WLTI. Give me 29 years, we'll give you a cake... wait, I didn't write this...
Gordon: (hides the copy)
Chico: Gordon, did you have something to do with this?
Gordon: Why why would you think it's me? (Stands in front of birthday cake with candles)

(Brainvision has been brought to you by America's Best Chico Alexander. We have America's Best Chico Alexander, who celebrates his birthday this week. Happy Birthday, Chico!)

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