Episode 20.9
March 9

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper. Last week, I was sad.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: I was, but I feel better.
Chico: Good!
Gordon: However...
Jason: Uh oh.
Gordon: This week, it's America that feels sad.
Chico: How so, sir?
Gordon: Our audience is very sad this week, if you can tell with the email that we've been getting.
Jason: I am not sad...I am downright volcanic angry.
Chico: I'm even angrier than Jason if such a thing is possible.
Gordon: So from somewhere in Mount St. Helens, the we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore edition of WLTI...is...on! Gordon here, along with Chico Alexander. Our special guests this week, Mr. Jason Block and Mr. Don Harpwood.
Jason: Greetings.
Don: Yo.
Chico: Hey Gordon!
Gordon: Yes Chico!
Chico: We start this week with one question.
Gordon: No, I don't know what Jason Block's bunny slippers is doing in the Choppler.
Jason: Hey!
Chico: That's... not the question.
Gordon: ...oh.
Chico: What would cause a person to go from "The Best Single Dad Ever" to "The Most Hated Man in America"?
Jason: A Public breakup on national TV.
Gordon: When someone speaks his mind and does the politically incorrect thing, but the morally correct thing.
Chico: What if I told you you were both correct?
Jason: I'll take it.
Gordon: What fun would that be?
Chico: Here's how... You (Gordon's answer) by (Block's Answer). Get it? Such is the case with Jason Mesnick, the latest Bachelor to find televised love....and then turn it down for ... something more, maybe? The facts are these...Jason ended up picking Melissa Rycroft to be his wife and stepmother of his kid, which would be good... except for one thing... He didn't really love her. They broke up on the "After the Final Rose" special.
Jason: In front a live studio audience, no yet.
Chico: The earth quakes with the resulting jaw-droppage.
Gordon: And honestly, I don't have a problem with it.
Chico: Me neither. Next night, he reveals... that he's gone BACK to Molly to try and work on a relationship there. Enter the fracas. Of course, I don't really like the premise of televised reality dating to begin with...
Gordon: First of all, don't let you guys think I'm taking Jason off the hook here - I'm not. He's a Class A moron and fence sitter and we know that whomever he's eventually going to settle down with, he will not be wearing the pants in that relationship.
Chico: Ouch.
Gordon: However, In this particular situation, he didn't love Melissa. The relationship wasn't working, so you have 1 of 2 options. Either A. to let it go and have another Bachelor Breakup in a few weeks which we report and then make fun of, or 2. Try to salvage something and go after Molly, damn the consequences. I think Jason had a lot of guts to do what he did.
Jason: Yeah. But don't you think he should have done that...in private.
Chico: True... but what fun(ds) would that be?
Jason: He looked like a damn wuss boy out there.
Chico: And the producers saying that they had no idea that what would happen happen? BULL.... HONKEY You had to have SOME idea...
Jason: That was a big steaming pile of BULL HONKEY.
Gordon: I disagree.
Jason: You would.
Gordon: I do.
Jason: Please explain.
Gordon: I agree that the producers knew about the impending breakup and perhaps coaxed Jason to do it in public. But if he did it in private, not only would we accuse them of fixing it, but the show wouldn't get the ratings. If I'm the producer, I make sure the breakup is on tape. I'll lay down even money that there's a contract in there somewhere that anything he does related to The Bachelor must be caught on tape. And if there isn't, the producer certainly could have objected, but didn't now, did he?
Jason: Of course not....Mike Fleiss is as money grubbing as the rest. But doesn't a segment of the viewing population believe its fixed anyway?
Gordon: If you're going to have people think its fixed, then at least show the tape saying otherwise.
Chico: But that's just it. The tape proves nothing... It just proves that there was a breakup... and it was captured for posterity.
Gordon: Of course. So it's money-driven. The other option is that its a silent breakup, and I think that in my mind makes him look worse.
Chico: Me, he looks just as bad either way. But again, that's just me.
Gordon: All parties say that both Melissa and Jason knew the split was coming. So he taped it instead of not taping it. Big deal. Even Melissa said that it wasn't working out.
Jason: Mesnick was in a no-win situation. Or he could have done the right thing and pick Molly.
Gordon: Yes, which makes him a Class A moron.
Jason: But guess who looks beautiful in this?
Gordon: Chico's buddy Mike Fleiss.
Jason: Besides him.
Gordon: Jillian?
Jason: Jillian.
Gordon: She sure does, because she avoids the mess.
Jason: She becomes the Bachelorette on May 18th....and we get huge ratings.
Gordon: Sure will.
Jason: And what does that equal boys and girls?
Chico: PROFIT.
Jason: Bingo.
Gordon: Which is good for ABC, because another of their shows is going to take a serious hit in 24 hours.
Chico: And that is...
Gordon: Dancing With The Stars. Because America will not get to see Nancy O'Dell dance...Oh yeah, and a certain Jewel is also not dancing.
Chico: That's going to seriously affect the whole love is in the air jibe.
Gordon: Remember last week when I though Jewel's problem was more serious than you guys thought? Well, there you go.
Chico: Oh yeah. They're serious. So the question is... what happens next?
Gordon: Both Jewel and O'Dell are out with leg injuries. Holly Madison will fill in for O'Dell. Holly Madison of The Girls Next Door fame
Jason: That's one...we don't know the other...do we?
Chico: Not yet, no. But we'll have that next week.
Gordon: Nothing yet on who the other replacement is. There are rumors though that it will be....ready for this....Paris Hilton.
Chico: Uhh... yeah... Because we'd all love to see someone like that doing... well, nothing.
Gordon: That's nowhere near to confirmed though.
Chico: Gotcha.
Gordon: But they may need someone like that to bring in the numbers. Losing Jewel loses a huge chunk of your music audience.
Jason: Country and Pop Rock.
Gordon: Maybe they should think about replacing her with Jack Wagner?
Chico: Umm.. no. I've seen what he can do to a show and... well, we don't even need that right now.
Jason: Dude...don't. Get. Me. Started.
Gordon: Hey Jason! Wanna get started?
Jason: Bring it on, baby. THIS is what has got me hot.
Gordon: Because Friday's show, after it happened, flooded my IMs with screams of anguish.
Chico: I had bad dreams of that.
Jason: And Golden-Road.net had 13 pages of scathing reaction.
Chico: And it wasn't just because I was sleeping through it.
Gordon: Before you start, Jason - Big Bored please?

Gordon: And thanks to Joe Capitano for this image...


(courtesy Golden-Road.net)

Chico: Let's go over the action...
Jason: Alright.
Chico: First up, Freeze Frame for an HDTV...It's a Samsung 63 incher.

49 35 18 54 98 25 10 63 49

Gordon: And I thought this one was easy. 5,498.
Chico: Gordon would be right. Garrett... would be wrong with $3518.
Gordon: You could think 6,349. You would not think 3,518.
Jason: Nope.
Chico: No. No you wouldn't.
Jason: 98 or 99 is a TV
Gordon: Or even 49. Not 18
Chico: Next... Gas Money for a Ford Fusion. Let's see if you're just as good at this...

25,872, 22,930, 20,005, 18,320, 21,775

Jason: 21,775
Gordon: This is a tough board. I could immediately knock out 25,872, and 20,005 from consideration.
Chico: Could do that.
Gordon: Fusions are 20,000+, so its not 18,320.
Chico: Leaving $22,930 and $21,775.
Gordon: Its a tough game ands 22,930 looks too easy. I'll agree with Jason on 21,775, which means Im probably wrong.
Chico: Gerilyn took one ($22,930) and IMMEDIATELY went off book and took the other one ($21,775). Guess which one had the car.
Gordon: $21,775?
Chico: Bingo.
Gordon: There's 2 methods of strategy here. If you pull off $9,000 from the 3 bad tags, then you may want to walk with the cash.
Chico: There you go. The strategy here is to take a chance on the three that you know for certain that aren't the price. Get some cash out of the deal.
Gordon: Though the other strategy of knocking out the closest one isn't bad either, because if you're going for the car and you knock the only other one it could be first, then it's smooth sailing with no temptation because you think you have it locked and loaded. So I can't fault her on the strategy. Unfortunately, she picked the wrong tag.
Chico: Yep
Gordon: I'll give her a pass on this one.
Chico: How about Susan on Cliffhangers?
Gordon: No. This was EPIC FAIL. How much would you spend on an Electric Vegetable Peeler?
Chico: $20. Especially if it's in the first spot.
Gordon: First prize on Cliffhanger is almost always the cheapest. It's $10-$20 in range. The highest ever that I've seen is $30.
Chico: Remember the 15-30-45 rule ... or the 20-30-40 rule... or something.
Gordon: And the most anything usually ever is in this game is $50. So $55? on a Peeler? I'd like to know where you shop. As a result, Hans goes flying over the cliff and joins Jewel and Nancy O'Dell on the IR.
Chico: Yeowch. And that was when Jack Wagner came in and complained about the noise.
Jason: And it was lame. EPIC LAME.
Gordon: So when you see Jack Wagner come in, you know that #1. It's a guest spot and #2. It won't be the last one you see of him.
Chico: If you're going to bring in a special guest, at least do it like they did back in the day, you know..
Jason: Or sometimes this season...when it worked.
Chico: But that's only the first half of the Jack Attack as we see part 2 with Hi-Lo and a Mini-Cooper. The products are...

Campbell's French Onion soup, Theragesic cream, Ester C, Hot Pockets 5-pack, Northland Pomegranate/Blueberry, Gold Bond Ultimate Healing

Jason: Ester C. Gold Bond and the Theragesic
Chico: Okay. Gordon, your guess?
Gordon: When you are playing a grocery game for a high priced item, like a car, you know they are going to be tricky on the products. And hence it behooves you to LISTEN TO THE QUANTITY. What sort of Hot Pocket is it, Chico?
Chico: It's the five pack.
Gordon: ok. $2.49 is a 2 pack, so this it going to be at least $5.50.
Chico: So there's one.
Gordon: The Theragesic looks small. How big is it?
Chico: 3 ounces.
Gordon: That's real small. I'll go Ester C. GoldBond and the Hot Pockets
Chico: Okay. Ester C... You both have that... It's $8.59. You both have the Gold Bond... $7.18. Now... Gordon, you had $5.50 on the Hot Pockets...$5.25. The Theragesic... $3.99. So right now.. Block's out.
Jason: Oops
Gordon: Ya...I mean, sorry, Jay
Jason: Bite me.
Chico: The soup.. $1.41. The juice.. $3.39. Gordon wins.
Gordon: I WIN! Where's my car?
Chico: Ask Don.
Gordon: Don, WHERE'S MY CAR?
Don: Ask Chico.
Chico: Trying this again with a travel trailer. It's either $7995 or $6375.
Gordon: Easy. $7,995.
Jason: 7995
Gordon: No way you should mess this one up.
Don: Yeah, $7,995.
Chico: You're all right...except the contestant wasn't.
Gordon: Booooo
Chico: Finally, Eazy as 1-2-3. Designer fragrances... electric appliances... a recliner.
Jason: appliances recliner fragrances
Gordon: I'll keep it in Jay's order. We've seen fashion stuff on TPIR be really expensive.
Don: Yeah. Designer stuff tends to have a high price.
Chico: So everyone is following Jay's suggestion of appliances, recliner, fragrances...J... you're right!
Jason: Yay!
Chico: The electrics are $829. The recliner's $1320. The fragrances are $1954. Clinton went the other way and as a result has a tomato juice bath waiting for him.
Gordon: And Jack Wagner.
Chico: And Jack Wagner.
Gordon: No telling if Jack Wagner is also in the bathtub.
Jason: But then we get the most idiotic moment of the day.
Gordon: You mean the part that Jack comes in, puts on a fake body suit and faux flashes Drew during the Showcase Showdown?
Jason: Yes. COMPLETELY Unwarranted. And Jack in the showcase, though a nice idea for a guest role, is completely unnecessary.
Chico: Ew...But hey, it's also the first week of new director Brian DiPirro. Thoughts?
Don: I like the fact that for the turntable games, DiPirro is showing the turntable turning to reveal the game on camera; something that hadn't been seen in quite a while.
Chico: Anyone else?
Jason: It didn't make any noticeable difference to me either way.
Chico: I've seen some improved graphics. That's just me. I like the aesthetic.. Like on Plinko.. Floating Plinko chips, dog...
Don: Oh yeah, that was cool!
Chico: I also like the tighter cameras... the new angles... It's a cleaner product than what we've been seeing the last year and a half. (Friday's show notwithstanding)
Gordon: I like the new graphics. But it's style over substance and the substance needs to be improved. The show should have been 3-3 at worst. Easy games are being missed and the producers have to do a better job getting contestants that know the games.
Chico: And Fingers has to be a little less evil. You know what I mean?
Gordon: I don't mind Fingers being Evil. She was fair.
Chico: There's fair, then there's evil
Gordon: You have to mix the prices up. If you don't, we get a double showcase win with the prices being known to a T.
Chico: We've seen THAT one.
Don: Yep.
Jason: oh yeah
Jason: But can we please get to the real problem of this whole thing? I have a REAL big problem with what happened on Friday.
Chico: In so many words, J?
Jason: Jack freaking Wagner took a lot away from the show. He added nothing. He was crap. He was awful. And did we need to see him FLASH Drew Carey?
Gordon: That's a sure way to lose viewers on both TPIR and your soap operas by showing people engage of acts that would be deemed illegal and over the top. Especially in the older viewers.
Chico: This would be both ILLEGAL AND OVER THE TOP.
Jason: You know how I usually call out the over-reaction of places like Golden-Road?
Chico: Like a sport.
Jason: In this case...the reaction by the fans was warranted....I think the shark has been jumped.
Chico: But hopefully we'll take this as a learning experience. a) See what worked and what didn't... b) Don't do what didn't work.
Jason: You are an optimist, aren't you?
Chico: AND YOU KNOW THIS.
Gordon: I think we know a lot of what we seen hasn't worked. And the public would be more patient if there weren't both technical flubs and host/announcer flubs - both of which the show has been overwrought with this season. So those screw-ups are causing the audience to leave the show. Failed gags that attempt to make the show hipper but instead enrage the population and cause more of them to flip over to The View aren't helping.
Chico: No. They aren't. And until the collective braintrust at Fremantle realize that... they'll keep happening. My advice...Find the address to CBS and/or Fremantle and TELL THEM what you think. Be vocal.. but be civil. It's the only way they'll know.
Jason: That's fair.
Chico: Anyway, know what else shoots at TV City?
Jason: You mean...American Idol?
Chico: I mean American Idol. We have our Top 12...and apparently there are 13 in it
Jason: Yup.
Chico: Lots of us were surprised... Gordon... wasn't. And he's proud to admit that.
Gordon: I am. Praise me.
Chico: I'll praise you with two fingers :-)
Gordon: You knew they were going to do SOMEthing when Idol Gives Back was cancelled., This allows them to not only gloss that over, but to add shows until May 27th, to take as much of May Sweeps as they humanly possibly can. If they want to keep it at May 20, then they can get a double elimination going at any time also, so that gives them opportunities to spice up the show.
Chico: OR a three-person final, which given Survivor and Dancing has become the en vogue thing to do.
Jason: Which again = PROFIT
Gordon: Sure does.
Chico: You know what I think...I think the producers had a hand up the judges' backsides when casting and ultimately selecting wild cards.
Jason: Really? Do tell.
Chico: How else do you explain Jasmine Murray and Matt Giraud, both of which delivered TWO running performances that were fair to middling. And they BOTH make the top 13. I think Jasmine was there to balance the females AND the R&B sets. Matt Giraud... I honestly don't know WHY he's there.
Jason: Ju'not Joyner got ROYALLY HOSED. If he is group one or two he is in.
Gordon: I don't think the producers had anything to do with it.
Chico: And Gordon disagrees. On cue :-)
Gordon: Of course I do. Let's assume that you knew in advance that you were going to have 13 Finalists, which I think they did.
Jason: Alright.
Chico: Done.
Gordon: You don't go to the producers in 12 hours and magically convince them to add another week of programming to the show and FOX would agree with it, so I'm guessing its in place, You have 4 of the 8 Wild Card singers going in; 2 males and 2 females. That would be the fairest way to go. You certainly don't go 3 females and 1 male because the women have been awful. And you don't want to go 3 males and have only 4 women up there, leaving 9 guys.
Don: Fair enough.
Gordon: And by the way, I called all 4 people who got in. Let's look at the ladies for one second. And the 4 they had there to audition. First of all, there should be no female that should be in there that wasn't. You had arguably the 4 best there. You could have made a case for Taylor, but she wasn't on pitch either.
Chico: Ahem...Tatiana.
Gordon: Out of the 4, Tatiana performed the best
Jason: Wrong. You make a case for Felicia Barton
Gordon: Felicia was off pitch. She makes a great storyline, but she was out of pitch the whole song. So for mental health reasons alone, you're not going to take Tatiana.
Chico: Yeah, again, though.. You can't perform Whitney all the time and expect to sail through.
Gordon: I agree. Hence Tatiana doesn't get in. I think she had a shot if she did anything else besides Whitney.
Chico: She just had a hard time doing that.
Gordon: Right. So she's not in. All Megan had to do was not suck, and she gets in. She was weird, but she didn't suck.
Jason: Nods.
Chico: So she's in.
Gordon: So its down to Jasmine and Jessie. Jasmine, though off pitch, has a powerful voice. Jesse once again was meek through her singing, and she was off-pitch also. So Jasmine gets in because of her 'Commercialism' (Read; She's a very pretty girl, and Jessie sounds much better with a bag on her head).
Chico: Paper or plastic?
Gordon: Paper. Definitely paper.
Jason: Ouch.
Chico: By the way, Gordon... You've been hanging around Kara too much.
Gordon: Tell me I'm wrong.
Jason: You aren't.
Chico: I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying you've been hanging around Kara too much.
Gordon: I say the stuff that people think but won't say. But the standard definition of 'Commercialism' is "She's a nice girl. Sings ok, ugly to look at.". I don't agree with it, and I don't think Jesse's ugly at all, but she pales in comparison to Jasmine. Sorry.
Chico: I thought it meant "sings okay, looks cute, young". Targets the 18-34 demo.
Gordon: Sure does. Jesse doesn't look cute.
Chico: ... Sorry, I thought we were still talking about Jasmine
Gordon: Jasmine looks cute and plays the part. She'll leave sooner rather than later, but at least she looks cute.
Chico: See Tucker, Lisa.
Gordon: Exactly. Now for the guys.
Chico: Anoop and Matt.
Gordon: And it's not that Matt got in, as much as Von sang himself out.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Gordon: If Anoop and Von showed up, they get in.
Chico: It was Von's game to lose... and he lost it.
Jason: Yup
Gordon: Anoop showed up. Von didn't. The judges couldn't justify Von in the Top 12 if he sang an uninspired bad song choice.
Chico: Oh yeah, and that was as bad as it got.
Jason: 2 in a row.
Chico: In a sea of bad song choices, that was the Marianas Trench.
Gordon: So you can't bring in Von. Lets look At Matt or Ricky. Ricky had a good performance, but bad song choice. Matt had a nice song choice and sang the song competently, plus it's a different genre than what's in the show already.
Jason: Boom, Matt gets in.
Chico: So Matt gets in to fill the "second guy" slot.
Gordon: Matt and Megan are both 'something new', and I agree it's better to see something new than 4 people who sing the same style.
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Now whether America agrees...is up to America. I know a certain North Carolinan was about to explode if Noop Dawg didn't get in.
Chico: The heart that bleeds Tar Heel blue wants what it wants. And hey, the dedication to Eve Carson was a class act.
Gordon: Sure was.
Chico: Interesting you mention the same style...Gordon...LOWER THE BIG BOARD!

Chico: Okay, Big Board time. This is the Idol Depth Chart: Season 8. What I did here... was subdivide all of popular music into five subheadings...You have... POP... ROCK...COUNTRY (to include bluegrass, newgrass, and Southern rock)...R&B (to include neo-soul, hip-hop-R&B, quiet storm, grown & sexy, and any other buzzwords that I can think of)...And you have what they called back in the 70s.. BEAUTIFUL MUSIC... That's your soft rock, your lite AC, your standards. Now let's see which singers would fit in best where.

Alexis Grace

Jason: ROCK
Chico: Rock.. with some nods to soul..
Gordon: Rock and Soul. She did Aretha.
Chico: She could fit under TWO. She could do that.

Michael Sarver

Gordon: Definite Rocker
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: Rock

Danny Gokey

Gordon: Ai poppy
Jason: POP
Chico: Very poppy.
Gordon: He can also do feel good music too. I can easily see him in AC

Allison Iraheta

Gordon: Rock Chick!
Chico: Yup

Kris Allen

Chico: Definitely countrified.
Gordon: Country
Jason: Country
Gordon: I'd throw him in Beautiful Music too

Adam Lambert

Gordon: Rocker
Chico: Yep
Jason: Rock. Oh boy, Rock
Gordon: Does Rocky Horror Picture Show count as a category?
Chico: ... yeah
Jason: LOL
Chico: Next...

Scott McIntyre

Jason: BEAUTIFUL MUSIC
Chico: Yep
Gordon: Agreed
Chico: Beautiful music from a beautiful piano
Gordon: A definite Brooke White vibe there

Jorge Nunez

Gordon: Pop / R&B
Chico: Either or. Hell, you could even throw him into Beautiful Music
Jason: Yes. I was thinking BM
Gordon: I wouldn't put him there. He doesn't appeal to AC. He's definitely more of an urban singer.

Lil Rounds

Chico: R&B
Jason: R&B
Gordon: She's R&B

Anoop Desai

Gordon: Pop
Chico: He's a pop singer.
Gordon: Traces of R&B, but really pop
Jason: POP
Chico: I've seen the Clefs... Some of my best friends are Clefs... they're pure pop singers.
Gordon: Have you seen them in their boxer shorts? Or is that only something you do?
Chico: Nope. That's OUR department.

Megan Joy Corkrey

Jason: Country
Chico: She can rock OR she can do country
Gordon: Country. She's not a hard rocker.
Chico: Not a hard rocker, but still a rocker. Not Adam... :-)

Jasmine Murray.

Gordon: R&B
Jason: R&B
Chico: Because she tried pop and it didn't work. And finally...

Matt Giraud

Chico: He's a soul singer. He tried rock and it failed.
Jason: R&B yes.
Chico: Two words for you... Robin Thicke.
Gordon: Soul / Beautiful Music
Chico: So if I were the powers that be, I'd say that Kris and Megan have the least to worry about, and anyone in the pop genre has the most.
Gordon: I disagree. Again. Let's analyze.

Pop - Danny Gokey, Jorge Nunez, Anoop Desai

Gordon: The weakest in this group is Jorge.
Jason: Yes.
Chico: Right

Rock - Alexis Grace, Michael Sarver, Allison Iraheta, Adam Lambert

Jason: Weakest - Alison
Chico: Right
Gordon: I'll disagree and say Sarver. Either way, this is going to be the group that may have some problems sticking around early.
Jason: Due to singing and other "other" issues.
Gordon: I think Michael and Allison better be ready to play immediately.

Country - Kris Allen, Megan Joy Corkrey

Jason: Both are weak
Chico: If either of them get the bum's rush by the judges this week, it could be game over.
Gordon: Not necessarily. Idol has historically carried a strong country singer very far. They usually don't carry 2. Megan should be on notice.
Chico: Megan's stronger than Kris here. But Kris has the advantage in that he's got an instrument
Gordon: I think they are on even ground for right now. I'd give the edge to Kris, who got in via America's vote over Megan in the same group. She has some work to do.

R&B - Alexis Grace, Jorge Nunez, Lil Rounds, Jasmine Murray.

Chico: Lil is your odds-on favorite. Jasmine is the weakest link - goodbye.
Jason: Yup.
Gordon: Jorge can get votes from 2 genres and a back story. Alexis can get votes from 2 genres. Lil is a powerhouse. That leaves Jasmine behind the 8 ball early.

Beautiful Music - Danny Gokey, Kris Allen, Scott McIntyre, Matt Giraud

Chico: It's strength vs. strength.
Gordon: Matt is going to be in trouble early here also.
Chico: Kris and Matt are going to be in ... yeah, what Gordon said.
Jason: What G said.
Chico: It's Danny's ability vs. Scott's ability. It's Dannys' backstory vs. Scott's backstory. This might come down to numbers and, when the time comes, chaotic patterns.
Gordon: So I think that the people in the following pool need to produce immediately: Jorge Nunez, Michael Sarver, Allison Iraheta, Kris Allen, Megan Joy Corkrey, Jasmine Murray. and Matt Giraud.
Jason: Yes to all o fthem.
Chico: And that's what we have to deal with this week. I'll say this... My life sucks without Kelly Clarkson (she's coming to perform). ba-DUM-bum.
Don: Heh.
Jason: We knew that was coming. She knows not to make Clive mad...twice.
Gordon: But how do you make Howie Mandel mad?
Chico: Pick $500,000... DEAL late?
Gordon: Very true.
Jason: Ouch.
Gordon: Marisol finds this out the hard way.
Don: No kidding...
Gordon: 4 cases left, and here's the scenario:

$25, $500, $100,000, $500,000
OFFER: $103,000

Jason: You go one more.
Chico: Why not?
Gordon: You have 2 big cases up there.
Don: Yeah, I'd keep going.
Gordon: Even if $500,000 goes away, you're still walking out with $40,000+.
Jason: At least.
Gordon: Marisol...deals at $103,000. Inside her case...The Big One.
Chico: Ewww.
Jason: Boooo
Chico: Fear is indeed a mind killer.
Jason: No kidding.
Gordon: she does leave with $103,000...which is $103,000 more than what some people across the pond will be walking away with.
Chico: Yep. It's probably the biggest scandal since the whole dial-in-and-lose mess a few years back...The 2009 champs of University Challenge (the British version of "College Bowl") have been stripped of their title because one member of the team had since graduated from the school. When they started out, all four were in school, but midway through taping, one team member graduated. The team member, Sam Kay, has since apologized, and their opponents have called this victory hollow. Now many people have been tuning in because of a team member who was billed, among other things, as "The Human Google".
Jason: But the rules are pretty simple if you ask me.
Chico: Yeah, rules are rules, but at the same time, the system is a little wonky.
Jason: So you side with the ITV presenter Gasciogne?
Chico: To an extent, yeah.
Gordon: I do. You have to follow the rules. If you're the team captain, it's the team's responsibility to know that everyone can legally play. And if there was going to be a graduation issue, the question should have been asked.
Chico: I mean, when it moved to BBC from ITV, it changed from a series shot over one year to a series shot over two.
Gordon: If I'm playing for money and have ANY questions, then I ask the producers. It's like a bowling tournament. If you think you have a shot to win and there's an issue, you bring it up with the directors before you bowl.
Chico: And if it's a problem, you have to have something in place to ensure that people can legally play. Either an alternate or a change up in the rules that says that anyone who was a student at the start can play through the end. Basically, it's a fundamental flaw that finally manifested itself.
Jason: Alternate makes more sense.
Gordon: It's not a flaw. It was a rule. If there was any questions, the teams should have brought it up. Just like NCAA eligibility.
Chico: So you're saying that seniors can't play unless they put their foot down and ask. Sounds kinda childish.
Gordon: I don't think so. You're a senior at UNC. You're a player. Aren't you going to ask what you're eligibility is going to be?
Chico: Sure I am.
Gordon: If you're playing a pick up game with the Cleveland Cavaliers, aren't you going to ask if that could damage your eligibility?
Chico: And it's not like this hasn't happened before.
Gordon: If I'm graduating and I'm in an event that is going to happen past my graduation, I am going to ask if I was eligible for it,. That's just common sense.
Chico: Of course.
Gordon: So there should be no issue here.
Chico: But what happens when the rules are too vague even for people who should question such things?
Gordon: You ask for a clarification so its not vague. I don't see vague here though.
Jason: The rules aren't vague.
Gordon: So if there's no sign saying you have to pay for the cookie and you see a cookie in a shop, you're just going to take it with the excuse of well, there's no sign there saying I can't take it?
Chico: No, you're going to ask how much.
Gordon: And that's what should have happened here. If they were confused, they should have ASKED.
Chico: The bottom line is... if you want to know... ask.
Jason: Bingo.
Chico: Never assume anything.
Don: Indeed.
Chico: But at the same time, let's clear out all the loopholes in the release. This sort of thing works both ways. No doubt UC will recover from having such a gross amount of egg on their faces, but ... you see where we're going.
Gordon: Agreed. And the Hamsters are forming their own college bowl teams.
Chico: What are the teams?
Gordon: Ken-Jen, Amanda, Goodman and House on one team, and Ralph, Cheeseball, Fluffy and J. Fat on the other. Cuckoo is hosting and The Chairman and Gordon Jr. are the judges.
Jason: Where is Eve?
Chico: In the audience waiting for the loser.
Jason: That's not the way you treat the loser.
Gordon: ...no, no, no. (Removes bib from Eve). Naughty.
Chico: Okay, let's start the news!
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain Footage

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks Doug. First up... the calendar...

March 9 is the aforementioned Dancing With the Stars. Then we go to the Chopping Block on March 11.

Jason: A/k/A Last Restaurant standing...American Style.
Chico: Ought to be fun
Don: Sounds cool.
Gordon: What time on Wednesday is it, Chico?
Chico: It's 8p. ET
Jason: Replacing Knight Rider. Won't be hurt by AI at 9pm. Lost will.
Gordon: Chopping Block will go up against Next Top Model
Chico: Let's go further down the pike with the Green Light.

MTV has picked up "The Phone". The intriguing new game show from Justin Timberlake will premiere in April.

Jason: Interesting concept if you ask me
Chico: It involves four people each episode getting a mysterious phone call and being thrust into a competition for $50,000.
Gordon: I think its an interesting idea. I'll hold my thoughts until I see the execution of said idea.
Jason: Yes.
Chico: Good idea. Meanwhile, I need my bat with the bouffant on it.

Shear Genius is go for season 3. And they're looking for contestants. Go to Bravotv.com/casting to apply

Gordon: The viewership between Seasone 1 and 2 went up 22% (and 80% in the happy demos), so it's a show on the rise.
Chico: Meanwhile, over at CBS...

Price tapings are due to resume on Monday with the CMA special. Also on deck is the baby shower episode, the 38th season premiere, and, and this is rumored, a show with a guest appearance by Mr. Robert... William... Barker.

Jason: That's not rumored. He is promoting a book.
Chico: Now I don't know about you... But I personally think that this is just the shot that the show needs.
Don: Can't wait for that!
Gordon: The only way its a true shot is if he pulls a Happy Gilmore on Drew and hosts the show.
Chico: Kinda like Darth Vader coming back on board the Death Star saying "You can dispense with the pleasantries. I've come to get you BACK on schedule."
Jason: LOL
Chico: Next?
Gordon: Next up - Haterade Juice and Smart Cake
Jason: Sounds yummy.
Chico: nummy
Gordon: Are you Smarter than...

The NBC brass who decided it would be fun to broadcast that Dane Patterson ran a 26 mile marathon in 3 hours and 53 minutes. The problem here? The time was van assisted.

Jason: Thank you Rosie Ruiz II
Chico: Ah, Reality Television. Don't you love it?
Gordon: Yes. He said he used the van because the contest closed in 6 hours and he wanted to make sure he completed the marathon. Ironically, he want back and finished the miles he drove over...in 5 hours and 53 minutes.
Chico: So he would've made it anyway.
Gordon: Sure would have, and probably would have been more dramatic as he raced against the clock.
Chico: What does that tell you.
Jason: Winners never cheat...cheaters never win.
Gordon: Sometimes, the best reality is the reality that's not artifiiually generated. And now for some Haterade. Remember when we wondered if the fight on Charm School was real or made up?
Chico: Right
Gordon: Apparently, it's real -

Megan Hauserman, the woman who got into a fight with Sharon Osbourne, is suing her for punitive damages.

Don: Wow.
Gordon: She's claiming battery, negligence and emotional distress.
Chico: In other words, breakfast, lunch, and dinner for gold diggers.
Jason: That's why Ricki Lake is on for Season 3.
Gordon: Sure is. Makes you wonder if she's going to be able to judge America's Got Talent, season 4.
Chico: I'm sure you'll fill us in next week on the show.
Gordon: 2 weeks.
Chico: Deal. Now for some tech for you.

GSN's High Stakes Poker is on Youtube. It's online at www.youtube.com/GSNvideos.

Jason: At least Season 5 Episode 1
Chico: Oh yeah.
Gordon: Do the have media hos playing?
Chico: Actually... no. Sorry,
Gordon: Would you like some?
Jason: I would.
Chico: Me too
Don: Sure.
Chico: *plays "Pimpin' All Over the World"*

In This Week's Media Ho Report, Alex Trebek goes to a Cherry Blossom Parade, Jillian Harris is the new Bachelorette, Jeff Foxworthy does comedy in Reading, PA...Jesse Csincak helps out John Walsh on America's Most Wanted, Jenna Morasca goes into wrestling, Ed McMahon celebrated his 86th birthday in the hospital...Chris Harrison wants an apology, and Sandy and Isabella want more time on Survivor and America's Next Top Model, respectively. None of these people are going to get what they want.

Gordon: But none of them are your ho of the week.
Jason: Who is it?
Chico: Please do tell
Gordon: It's ...Fabio Viviani. Chico's 'European A-Hole' wasn't an A-hole to Top Chef fans, who awarded him $10,000 for most likable personality. In addition, he gets a contract with Dr. Oetker's Pizza and other products.
Chico: Tasty
Gordon: And Those...Are Your Hoes.
Chico: And finally, let's go global..
Jason: Yummy.

This week, we're off to Singapore, where their version of "Don't Forget the Lyrics" are doing a bit of Comic Relief for five charities, including the Society for the Aged Sick and St. Andrew's Autism Centre.

Jason: Good stuff.
Don: Nice.
Chico: Very good. First part aired this Thursday. The second will be shown next Thursday. Remember when "Don't Forget the Lyrics" was on Thursdays? Good times, yeah?
Jason: Yeah...whatever happened to that?
Chico: I couldn't tell you. Anyway, while Gordon's gone to collect pennies from the fountains outside, we're going to take a break. Still to come, the three of us are going to try and avoid the Home Shopping Zone, but first...Here come the judge, here come the judge, here come the judge. This is We Love to Interrupt, you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you a skunk.
Don: Eww.

(Brainvision is powered today by C&G's Tomato Parmesan Bisque... Good for a cold winter's night... Goes great with sandwiches... and if you're a TPIR contestant, you can sit in it for an hour to remove the skunk smell)

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