Episode 20.10
March 16

Gordon: This is Gordon Pepper, and Chico this week...is a mess.
Chico: A hot mess?
Gordon: Definitely not hot. But a mess.
Jason: At least we aren't sad.
Chico: That's true.
Gordon: Chico, are you sad? Or just in pain?
Chico: Hmm... Pain, but it's mostly my toe.
Gordon: Chico has toe medication and allergy medication. That means he feels no pain right about now.
Chico: Weeeeeeee!
Jason: You are about as happy and healthy as the Dancing with the Stars cast :)
Chico: Alrighty, that said... from Somewhere in America, the Dancing with Tears in Their Eyes edition...of WLTI... is... ON!
Jason: Woot!
Chico: It's Mr. Alexander if you're nasty with you... and on the panel today, the one and only Jason Block..
Jason: Always a pleasure.
Chico: So is everyone healthy this morning?
Jason: Sure.
Gordon: Healthier than Jewel and Nancy O'Dell
Chico: Yep. As we reported last week, Jewel & Nancy O'Dell had to bow out of the new season of Dancing with the Stars.
Gordon: (Takes predictions made a month ago. Puts them in Hamtaro Shredder)
Chico: Last week, two new injuries and their replacements as we fire up a new edition of an old favorite... FUN WITH CELEBRITIES!... Sorry....



Jason: Yay!
Gordon: Whoo-hoo!
Jason: It's one of my favorite things.
Chico: Now, we'll get to the IR additions later, but first, let's talk about the replacement stars..
Jason: Holly Madison of "The Girls Next Door"
Chico: She was the first. She got an 18, and even then I'm thinking that it was a bit generous. Three 6s. Sign of the beast, they call it.
Jason: Ouch.
Gordon: Or sign of the Breast(s) in this case.
Chico: Ha.
Gordon: Yes, but she was not remotely close to being the worst of the evening.
Chico: No, but she was gunning for it.
Jason: The other new dancer...Melissa Rycroft...yes...THAT Melissa Rycroft.
Chico: Melissa got the silver for the night with 23.
Jason: Nice.
Chico: You can tell she's done this before.
Jason: Talk about turning poop into platinum.
Chico: People were all of a sudden screaming "conspiracy!" I beg to differ.
Jason: So let me get this conspiracy straight...Jason purposely dumps Melissa...and somehow Jewel and Nancy get "hurt" so that she can get in?
Chico: Yeah.
Jason: Nonsense.
Chico: Which is all just... crazy. Again, this is a simple case of Ockham's Razor here.
Jason: Explain?
Chico: The simplest explanation is more than likely the best. Melissa... happens to be an alumnus of the World Famous Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.
Gordon: You cant dispute doctor's reports. And I certainly don't think if it was a conspiracy that they wanted Holly Madison.
Chico: No, that is simply being at the right place at the right time... and dancing wrongly.
Jason: Yup.
Chico: On the other hand, we have someone who's perfectly healthy and ends up as THE WORST DANCER OF THE NIGHT...Gordon, the envelope, please..
Gordon: (hands over envelope)
Jason: (drumroll)
Chico: And the worst dancer of the night... With a score of 13...
Jason: (cymbal clap)
Chico: Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff!
Jason: Ouch.
Gordon: Both Steves deserved their low scores. it was...mind numbing
Jason: Steve Wozniak has been seen in a soft cast on his leg...I believe he sprained his ankle. And Steve-O has some pinched nerves. Both have said that they will dance again. Question... given their pathetic scores the first time around... should they?
Jason: Uh...no.
Gordon: Why not? its entertaining
Chico: Entertaining, yes. Good for the competition? Well... perhaps not.
Jason: Quality...not so much
Gordon: For every Carrie Underwood, you need a Sanjaya Malakar
Jason: Noted.
Chico: Right. So we'll see who gets the boot next week, but I'll tell you.. for Steve and Karina... it's not looking good.
Jason: Nope.
Chico: Better hope every geek in America is watching.
Gordon: And they better hope they all have power dialer
Jason: LOL
Chico: Isn't that illegal?
Gordon: They are geeks. I'm sure they have a way that could fool the system.
Chico: Heh. So we have fire on the dance floor... better call firefighters... we have 22 of them.
Jason: (cue Deal or No Deal)
Gordon: We have a lot of fire to put out - because we had a lot of hot cases.
Chico: Seems like it.
Gordon: And unfortunately, the big one - $500,000 - went unclaimed
Jason: Booooo
Chico: This happens on Monday, right?
Gordon: Craig Mitry...HAD THE CASE! Sold it for $85,000
Jason: Boooooo
Chico: Please say the week went better.
Gordon: It didn't
Chico: Urgh.
Gordon: Wednesday, Kate Highland left the case in the Round of 3 with this board:

$25, $100, $500,000
OFFER: $98,000

Gordon: Zero safety net
Jason: Deal!
Chico: No deal!
Gordon: Kate continues on. Next case...$500,000. Kate leaves with $100.
Chico: Eww... Can I take that back?
Jason: OUCH!
Gordon: Judges? [X]
Chico: ... guess not.
Gordon: No. I blame your toe medication
Chico: Yeah. Good call. But tell me SOME good came out of it.
Gordon: Some good did come out of it...in the UK.
Jason: We had a huge win in the UK on March 12.
Chico: Got this one.
Gordon: We had out second $500,000 in the UK...but the first in the UK to come with this: *
Chico: Here's what happened. Alice Mundy struck a deal for £17,500. But she had a choice between taking that or going for "The Ultimate Banker's Gamble"
Chico: The board...

1p / £250K

Jason: You don't take the gamble. You really don't.
Chico: So you can either take the money or give it back for a shot at the big money.
Gordon: If I'm the contestant... I go for it.
Chico: I'm going to have to side....... with...... Gordon.
Jason: Why?
Chico: An all-or-nothing bet for 250K is something you take 100% of the time. When else are you going to have at shot at it??
Jason: That's true.
Gordon: $17,500 for a chance at $500,000? Come on. You take it in a heart beat. 50% chance to win around 1500% of what you have?
Chico: The book says go for it.
Gordon: You have to.
Chico: And she does.
Jason: Then she is offered to swap the boxes....Which she doesn't by the way.
Chico: The end result... BIG WIN. So she had the big one all along...
Jason: She did.
Gordon: So it makes it not much of a gamble for me. And once again, someone wins a lot of money by not playing the real game, but a modified version of it, because she actually quit midway through and they gave her a second chance at the end. So that gets from me a *
Chico: Okay, so we've had two stories involving stars. How about stars of the video game world? That do anything for you?
Jason: Sure.
Chico: Now for those of you playing the home game... my brother Gordon and I... we're big video gamers...So imagine how we were feeling when SciFi premiered WCG Ultimate Gamer.
Jason: Pretty happy?
Gordon: I liked the idea. but would it be executed well?
Chico: Well, let's explain how it works first. In each episode, a game is showcased for competition. In the premiere, it was Rock Band 2.
Jason: Yeah baby.
Chico: The winner gets the choose who faced off against the loser in the elimination round. So it's your basic elimination challenge... with video games involved. And the games themselves are integrated well.
Chico: I mean these are titles you associate with competition... Rock Band 2. Upcoming eps have Virtua Fighter 5 and Project gotham Racing.
Gordon: You had the 12 people divided into 3 teams of 4.
Gordon: Each band played a song. Then each band switched members and played again. The worst player fell to the bottom. Lets break the episode down. Starting with The Good: Who likes the visuals?
Jason: The set looks amazing
Chico: Pretty.
Gordon: The set is really sweet. The elimination set especially, with each contestant surrounded in circles. That sets up for some very intense gameplaying. and the 'Isolation Room', completely decked out in white with a massive screen, is drool-worthy
Chico: Gordon's the fan of the minimalist. But the stadium... oh god... I want.
Gordon: Also good - the contestants. Each one in a different genre. You know they know what they are doing. 10 of the 12 contestants have won some sort of national award for either a specific game of all-around performance. They are also not stupid. By the end of the first episode, the 'hidden' alliance was figured out by everyone in the cast and are now targeted
Jason: LOL
Chico: So these aren't your usual ramrods that lend themselves well to reality TV.
Gordon: Exactly.
Chico: These have two braincells that you can rub together.
Gordon: However, not everything was perfect. The Bad: Hated the editing on this.
Chico: Seems like the cinematography lends itself more to a game and less to TV.
Gordon: Too deceptive. If you're a gamer and you see that someone is up on Rock Star 81,000 points to 21,000 points, its a rout and should not be called 'Close'.
Chico: Ah. Having played a couple of rounds myself... I can tell you that's nowhere NEAR the case.
Gordon: And I actually thought that some of the pacing should have gone faster, especially with the elimination ceremonies and the selection of the contestants to be put there.
Chico: Well, you have to fit an hour of television in somehow.
Jason: What I also like is that they try to meld real life with the gaming life.
Chico: It's going to be interesting to see how they do that with future games. Obviously, with episode 1, you have gamers in a rock band. And they're actually better than the entire cast of Next Great American Band.
Jason: HA.
Gordon: I really liked what they did. I want to see more of it and I hope they continue in that vein.
Chico: I just wish the hosting was less... robotic.
Jason: It seems that way...the coldness of the game...meets the coldness of the host.
Gordon: The hosting was competent and by the numbers. You would have liked someone with a little more experience in there, but its not awful.

	WCG ULTIMATE GAMER - SciFi
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	A	A	A	A

Chico: But yeah, all in all, a solid package. A.
Jason: Add me to the list. SciFi is 3 for 3. A.
Gordon: All in all, this is a great series for Sci-Fi. It's on a roll with good shows. A. Now can you say the same about...The Chopping Block?
Chico: Umm... I wish I could. But that would insinuate that I enjoyed it.
Gordon: Take us through this one, Mr. Alexander
Chico: Sure thing. Marco Pierre White, known as the host of season 2 onwards of the UK edition of Hell's Kitchen...He's come to America to mumble his way through an hour.. sorry... to challenge amateur chefs/restaurateurs to run their own eateries. Two teams... four couples each team. That lends itself to two eateries in the middle of New York City. Not only are they competing against each other, but they're competing against almost 30,000 restaurants in the New York area, and the worst performing of these two will have to cut one of the couples. So it's not so much "Last Restaurant Standing" as it is the Restaurant Wars episodes of Top Chef turning itself into a series.
Gordon: I love the Restaurant Wars episodes on Top Chef.
Chico: But did you love this?
Gordon: ...no.
Chico: Welcome to the club. Have a fruit roll-up.
Gordon: Let's talk about The Good: It does take a concept that works.
Chico: Also good... at least Marco Pierre White gives the show a modicum of street cred. I mean, this is the guy that mentored Gordon Ramsay... allegedly... oh yeah, and some guy named Mario Batali. You might've heard of him.
Jason: Yeah. Met him a few times. Good guy.
Gordon: I sort of like him as a host.
Chico: ALSO good.. the execution of the elimination challenge. It's a spin on the unknown shopper concept. The critic will not announce himself or herself as such. So it gives our players incentive to pull out all the stops all the time. Getting to the bad... Not everyone's up on the subject of proper food service. So you have cases of improvising and cutting a corner or two or even having people wait for a table. I know I wouldn't want to wait for a table.
Jason: That's NOT cool.
Chico: You can definitely tell that the story editors are playing up the amateurish quality of the contestants.
Jason: That's how you make good television
Chico: Doesn't really tell me the whole story.
Gordon: Let's get to an even bigger problem. Its also an amateur version of Hell's Kitchen and Top Chef.
Chico: Agreed.
Gordon: People don't want to see amateurs when they can see the professionals on Top Chef.
Chico: See, this is what happens when you have shows on the air that have done this before... and better. Almost like "You've tried the best... now settle for what you can get." Here's "What You Can Get" In the end, it all seems like a bad imitation.
Gordon: It's also not a show that you can take anything out of in terms of learning.
Chico: So all in all, it's a product not worth buying, and frankly, America didn't buy it either.
Jason: The ratings were awful
Gordon: And hence, it makes a very boring show to watch. The only thing I took out of it was the amount of screaming the couples did at each other.

	THE CHOPPING BLOCK - NBC
	CHICO	GORDON	JASON	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D-	D	NO GRADE	D

Chico: All I can say... is Deal or No Deal can't come back soon enough. D-
Gordon: The elements are there, but if you're going to bring out a show with elements of shows that we have seen before, it has to be better or with an interesting spin, not worse of boring. This brings worse and boring. It gets a D from me.
Chico: It's just a mishmash of used concepts that comes off as clumsy. Also on Wednesday night... the results show of American Idol's finals...And the news wasn't so much about who got eliminated (Jorge and Jasmine both reeked)...or... WHY they got eliminated (Michael Jackson is a pop killer)... but HOW they got eliminated. We have... a TWIST!
Jason: You mean the Immunity Idol?
Chico: More like the button from Moment of Truth. It's called "The Judges' Save". Here's how it works...The judges can reverse one AND ONLY ONE vote for elimination up until the final five. But the following week, they vote out two. AND it's only valid up until the round of 5.
Jason: And let me tell you...the person they save WILL NOT WIN this season.
Chico: AND the decision has to be unanimous.
Jason: Taken from Season 6 of Nouvelle Star (The French Version)
Chico: The thought here is to eliminate a premature Tamyra Gray/Chris Daughtry/Jennifer Hudson type elimination. In which America thought they were safe and thus didn't vote for them..
Jason: This means nothing. This is much ado about NOTHING.
Chico: It's not the worst case scenario in the judges stepping in and overriding America's vote... But it's the most needless. But it just smacks as change for the sake of change, just to TRY and salvage whatever legitimacy this show has left.
Gordon: Ok. This is the dumbest idea ever that American Idol has ever come up with. Even dumber than Idol Gives Back. First of all, this is the judges saying that for one week, they will give the middle finger to whatever America says. Second of all, at what round did the Tamyra Gray, Daughtry and Latoya London eliminations occur, kids?
Jason: ROUND of 4.
Gordon: When does the Judges Save expire?
Chico: One round prior.
Jason: Yup.
Gordon: So doing the math here, would this benefit prevent a Daughtry/Latoya London/Tamyra Gray elimination?
Chico: No.
Jason: Nope.
Gordon: So....WHY are we having this mess here if it doesn't do what they say it will do? Simple kids. They want to expand the show so that it can justify being on for an hour and not by 55 minutes of filler. This is the most retarded idea I have heard of in a long while.
Chico: They're basically wanting to say that they still matter to the selection process.
Gordon: But they shouldn't matter anymore.
Chico: No they shouldn't.
Gordon: They gave us 36 singers.
Jason: Expansion
Chico: They gave us a top 13 instead of a top 12.
Jason: Expansion
Chico: And all to make sure they don't possibly end on time :-P
Jason: Thank you DVRs
Chico: Idol... you suck at micromanagement.
Jason: They really didn't NEED TO make all these changes...but have panicked over the loss of ratings.
Gordon: This move.. isn't going to help.
Chico: No. No it isn't.
Jason: Vote totals will go down
Chico: When the golden goose stops laying eggs... you still have a golden goose.. You don't need to force-fertilize it for more eggs.
Jason: Or make goose pate
Gordon: Honk Honk. People were watching because of the talent on the stage, not because of the shenanigans of the judges.
Chico: But if I can interject here, there's like two or three of these eliminations every season.
Jason: Style over substance...And the overall talent level...can we say is LESS than last year?
Gordon: You have very good talent up there. They just need to get into their own. It's going to be a good class.
Chico: I see a lot of great singers... No standouts yet. But hey, the night is still young.
Gordon: Way too early to judge this class.
Jason: True....but...
Gordon: but...?
Jason: I am waiting for someone to be "the favorite" -- no one REALLY wants it yet. But by this time...you knew Archuleta wanted it...and had the talent to back it up. Except he had to come back from a song he didn't know... in the round of 24
Chico: That comes with the format change.
Jason: True.
Chico: So there you go. We haven't seen anyone stand out, and we haven't yet seen any good that can come out of the save. But how about a twist that everyone can live with, huh?
Jason: Ok...
Gordon: Now for a twist that I do like, let's go to The Amazing Race, shall we?
Chico: Killer.
Jason: Great stuff
Chico: We all know what a U-Turn is, right?
Jason: When you force a team to complete both halves of a detour
Gordon: It's what Jason has to do every time he gets a prediction wrong :)
Chico: Correct and correct.
Jason: Hey!
Chico: Now in previous seasons, you had to put your own picture below the picture of the U-turned team.
Jason: Right.
Chico: You had to identify yourself as the perpetrator of the U-turn.
Gordon: Right. And pray that the U-Turned team doesn't survive.
Chico: Yes. Now this season... you don't have to. It's called the Blind U-Turn.
Gordon: Which means you can zap any team and they wont know who you arte.
Chico: And if you ask me, it's rather brilliant. Isn't that great?
Jason: it is awesome. It makes the show even better. You can be the biggest a-hole and no one will know...unless you blab :)
Chico: It's the fricking bees' knees right there. It eliminates the watch-your-back aspect of the U-turn so you can fully concentrate on the Race.
Jason: But I believe that someone (Margie and Luke--cough) kind of let the cat of the bag.
Gordon: And that makes them...



Gordon: Ok. 2 things here when you plan to stab someone in the back.
Jason: (taking notes)
Gordon: #1. Make sure they are completely dead. #2. Make sure that no one saw you take the knife and use it.
Chico: Okay.
Gordon: #1. Mission accomplished. #2...not so much.
Jason: No one knows who did it.
Gordon: So far..but next week's preview shows that teams find out. You should NEVER alert other teams that you can betray them.
Jason: That I agree is DUMB.
Chico: Oh yeah. You have to keep yourself under the radar.
Gordon: Because you are not trustworthy and its only a matter of time until some team U-turns YOU.
Chico: Oh yeah.
Jason: It's a RACE....not a friendship thing.
Chico: Someone gets a shot at taking out a potentially powerful team, they're going to use it.
Gordon: It was a very good move to target Kris and Amanda - unfortunately, the target is now on you.
Jason: And they are playing a good game (Margie and Luke--deafness be damned).
Chico: Let's see what happens next leg when someone finds out what they did. The mark of a good game is that you can play through it even as you're being targeted.
Gordon: Meanwhile...oh ew. Chico!
Chico: What's wrong?
Gordon: The hamsters made a mess in the control room. You remember the pie throwing AR stunt in episode 2?
Chico: Right.
Gordon: The hamsters used the control rooms to throw...pellet pies.
Chico: They didn't... they did.
Jason: Yuck! Oh man!
Chico: Oh geez. Block, handle this.
Jason: Why me? (gets on hazmat suit) Does this make me look fat?
Chico: No. It makes you look crazy.
Jason: I am going in! Be back later.
Chico: K. Meanwhile...
Gordon: Roll that Beautiful Brain footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. First up... We get the baseball bat..And our honorary batboy.... Augustus!!!



Chico: No, don't swing at me... just hand the bat..HAND THE BAT!.. BAD ZOMBIE!!!

NBC has announced their new summer schedule. On it: I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!... America's Got Talent...and the Great American Road Trip". Not on it: American Gladiators, Celebrity Circus, America's Toughest Jobs, Celebrity Family Feud, Last Comic Standing, or Nashville star.

Chico: Now I thought the Feud was doing rather well for itself. Don't understand why it was getting the bum's rush like that. As for "I'm a Celebrity"... there was a reason it was cancelled the first time around.
Gordon: Explain to me why we're not seeing Nashville Star, Celebrity Family Feud and we're getting 'I'm a Viewer watching celebrities, honey where's the remote?'
Chico: Because Ben Silverman has a screw loose. He's got a few screws up in his head loose.
Gordon: No comment. How about some dates?
Chico: Sure thing.

No new shows premiering this week, but you can watch March Madness on CBS instead of Survivor this Thursday through Sunday. And that whole J! TOC continues. Not to mention Feud's annual Battle of the Ex-Spouses.

Chico: They liked it. They put a ring on it. Now they want it back.
Gordon: And on a side note: Tom Bergeron, you let all of us game show fans down, man.
Chico: You did, you know...Not good, mate. Not good. Next up, let's get loaded...
Gordon: Hic
Chico: As you all know (holds up iPhone) this... is an iPhone.
Gordon: Hello there, Mr. iPhone

Now you can get American Idol on it by purchasing the $2 AI season 8 app from the App Store. It combines news, videos and games into one two-buck package.

Gordon: Nice
Chico: For the AI fan who has everything... Gordon.
Gordon: Aw. Thank you.
Jason: (comes back in) Where is the sanitizer?
Gordon: The sanitizer is over there, by the old John Davidson Time Machine set.
Jason: Thanks. (grabs sanitizer) They made SUCH A MESS. Be right back...I am almost done. (leaves)
Gordon: Now would you like some Smart Cake?
Chico: I'll have some smart cake.
Gordon: Good boy. Now for the Smart Cake.

Are YOU Smarter Than...Coi, who on Hell's Kitchen remembers to cook all the part of a hamburger...except the burger.

Chico: Yeah. She had to run back and get it. It was in the back...doing what burgers in wait do.
Gordon: Getting cold and singing Broadway showtunes?
Chico: Ha. So what happens... is that the man of the hour... doesn't get his burgers on time.
Gordon: And the only thing that gets grilled is Coi, who gets booted from Hell's Kitchen
Chico: After she wanted to blame it all in Andrea, too. How cheap was that?!
Gordon: Well if you blame it on you, you're leaving. So you have to blame someone else. Now for Haterade...

Heidi Klum wants a revolution - and that means to make fans camp out on Harvey Weinsteins lawn until they put Project Runway back on the air.

Chico: Would you?
Gordon: No I would not. I have better things to do with my time. Though I do fault Weinstein for being excessively greedy.
Chico: Can't we all just get along?
Gordon: In a recession? No. Next one?
Chico: Next...

Going Global takes us to Switzerland, where the noms for the Rose d'or have been announced. Britain has a whopping 33 nods, followed by Canada with 9. The US has 4. The shows: I Survived a Japanese Game Show, Wipeout, Estate of Panic, and the pilot pitch for "20Q".

Chico: Good for all of them. Especially for 20Q which now has a beefup in its resume.
Gordon: Very good. And good for Sci Fi Network, who has one of those shows.
Chico: Good luck to all four of them.
Gordon: And maybe we'll see a lot of media hoes on those shows.
Chico: (plays "Pimpin' All Over the World")

In this week's Media Ho Report, Sharon Osbourne denies she's being sued, Jeff Probst savers a camera woman's life, Alex Trebek does a pro am...Carrie Underwood's 'Home Sweet Home' is the departure song for this season's American Idol's fallen finalists, Gordon Ramsay sells his Hollywood Eatery, Alex Trebek hosts Canda's Next Prime Minister...Kelly Clarkson doesn't want kids, Fantasia Barrino predicts Danny Gokey to win, and Jasmine and Jorge say that they are fans of the new twist (sure you are).

Gordon: But none of them are the hoes of the week.
Chico: You are saying... that none of them are the hoes of the week.
Gordon: I am saying that.
Chico: Okay. So tell us who gets the pimp cup this week.
Gordon: Todd Herzog gets it, and his new bf...the newly departed Spencer Duhm from this season's Survivor.
Chico: That's nice...
Gordon: Now Spencer has unleashed a little bit of a firestorm by saying that he got dumped from Survivor because he was gay. Are you buying this?
Chico: No. He got dumped because he doesn't know how to play the game.
Gordon: I don't consider a lack of fire in immunity challenges a symptom of being gay, so no, I don't buy it either.
Chico: I've seen gays put up bigger fights than him (Rich Hatch comes to mind), so yeah, Spencer... you have no one else to blame but yourself.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's Brainvision.
Gordon: (shutting down)
Chico: Still to come, more fun with Survivors on an island, but on the other side, it's been quite a week at Jeopardy!...but we're going to see who can come up to the head of the pack. And who's just the runt of the litter. This is WLTI. Give us 22 minutes, we'll give you 36 industry-grade plasma HDs. Sexy.

(Brainvision has been brought to you by Choppers: The search for America's Best Dentist. Who is the best at cleaning your teeth?)

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