April 23, 2007

Chico: Discounts for breastflashers.
Jason: Or Sybian riders
Gordon: Maybe he knows where Kristen LeFevbre's clothing went to.
Chico: Probably one of our Presents to give out.
Gordon: Yes, well it's time to give out some presents. Who wants some?
Jason: ME! ME!
Gordon: We'll give you the beneficiary, you give us the gift. We'll start with an easy one...

Sanjaya Malakar. He needs some lovin'.

Jason: A huge gift bag from Redken. Lifetime supply of hair stuff.
Chico: Paris Bennett's CD.
Gordon: He can be one of the models for Shear Genius
Jason: And a good libel lawyer's phone number.
Gordon: He could probably make more money from a good lawsuit than the Idol Tour
Chico: Probably, but he needs a hook first. Oh well.
Jason: But if he doesn't do hair care modeling or shampoo commercials, I will be shocked.
Chico: Even as a joke?
Jason: If it was a great joke...it would be cool as hell. I could see it now...
Gordon: If they did it in a cool way and not degrading, sure
Chico: I could... and I want to vomit. Heh. Next up...

NBC has been having an off-week with Deal only getting as high as 23rd.

Jason: Us as programming executives.
Gordon: They need one of those electric cattle prodders who can shock the NBC executive when they try so plan DOND for more than trwice a week
Jason: There you go.
Chico: And for thinking that The Real Wedding Crashers would be entertaining.
Gordon: Meanwhile, they are shutting down Raines, which is a good quality show
Jason: NBC has done a ton of that stupid stuff...from Star Trek on down.
Chico: Well, we could go on and on, but I think we illustrated our point here.
Gordon: We Have. NBC is turning into the ABC of 2000.
Jason: And ABC still hasn't recovered...totally.
Chico: No es bueno.
Gordon: No its not. Next one...

John Ratzenberger. Somewhere lost in Ian/Leila/Apolo/Joey is John, who needs some dap for having less time than anyone else. How do we give him some dap?

Jason: Maybe another sitcom gig?
Chico: Another Pixar movie. Something involving robots.
Gordon: I think he should go out there and market a dancing weight loss diet book with Kirstie Alley. Call it the Cheers Collection
Jason: lol
Chico: Get some authentic pint mugs and I'm there.
Gordon: Next one?
Chico: Next up..

Temptation needs some loving if it's to succeed in the US. Suggestions?

Jason: A huge publicity and marketing ploy. This needs a huge buzz.
Gordon: Have Ryan Seacrest as the host and The hostess = A naked Kristin LeFebvre
Jason: lol. And cast REAL good contestants!
Chico: I'm available.
Jason: so am I
Chico: Seriously, though. It's a good product, and it deserves proper treatment. Next?
Jason: yes
Gordon: Next one -

Mark Burnett. Pirate Masters is coming out in Late May. Get him something Piratey

Chico: A sword. A bottle of rum. A ship.
Jason: in a bottle.
Chico: I'd suggest a wench, but Roma would disapprove. And finally... a copy of the first two "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies and "Survivor: Pearl Islands" on DVD.
Gordon: And a cameo appearance in the third one.
Jason: You they can sneak him in a month?
Chico: Edit it in post. It can work, right?
Gordon: Sure thing. Especially when they show him being eaten by a big ugly sea monst...oh, it's only Ugly Betty. Never mind.
Chico: Arrrr...
Jason: oh my
Gordon: Last one?
Chico: Avast, ye landlubbers on this final course...

A "Get Well/Welcome Back" gift for Regis.

Jason: A standing ovation on day 1 and every day back. And no calls from Kathie Lee.
Gordon: Here here
Chico: Ha!
Gordon: And a hosting job if they ever decide to bring back The Chair
Chico: Yeah, good luck with THAT one :-)
Jason: And maybe a ball bat to Jerry Springer's legs :P
Chico: Okay, those are all the Presents we have, and coming up, our present to you... a new game! I hope you have your twisted pants on.
Jason: Oh oh
Gordon: I did, but I was speaking in a high voice

(Brought to you by Highly Excitable University, training the PIR fans of today to become the poor PIR players of tomorrow.)

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