- December 30
We wish you all some happy holidays. 2 teams, however,
will not be very festive, as they will be eliminated
this week. We also get an All-Star game to boot.
Summing this up, the MADsters and Barbell Mafia are both
toast. The CPA's and Delta Force will not be toast,
because they have first round byes this week. That
leaves us with the quarterfinal matches. Armed Response
will play the Inksters and Bling will play the Sharks.
Here comes the action...
Match #1 - Armed Response (6-4) Vs. Ink Inc (5-5)
You know who they all are by now. At least I'd like to
hope so. If you don't, check out the previous recaps.
Armed Response swept the Inksters during the regular
season. Can they get the 3-sweep? Or can the Inksters
get the win at the most important time?
Round #1 - The Inksters would have a better chance if
the returning Waltrin didn't return this week. It's
Rice, however, who strikes first with a catch off of a
Horvartez throw. There's Waltrin, who gets Richardson,
but is eliminated by Houser. Rice cooks up Estrada, but
Houser gets kill #2 in the form of Rice, and he catches
Benedetto's shot. That leaves the women alone against
all of the male Inksters, and they get quickly
dispatched by way of a Toth throw and a Horvartez catch.
(Ink leads, 1-0).
During the break, Response's Waltrin says that he's at
99.9%, and adds that his team isn't going home tonight.
I'm glad he's feeling confident about it.
Round #2 - Estrada makes a nice catch attempt, but the
ball hits the wall and she's out. Fenderbosch joins her
and Waltrin quickly joins her. Benedetto and Toth
exchange kills and Houser's shot gets caught by Rice.
Horvartez throws a shot at a returning Fenderbosch, but
you can't do that until that person is on the floor, so
Strati is called out. That leaves the regen clock
on...Richardson. That's not the person who you want to
be trying to regen the team, and Rice mercilessly ends
the regen rally quickly. (Tied 1-1).
Round #3 - The Dead Men Walking are Benedetto and Toth.
Waltrin is making his presences known in this round, as
he catches a Houser shot and nails Richardson. his
missile to Toth...gets caught and a huge force is off
the court. Estrada comes back in and they pick off Rice,
but Horvartez goes over the line. Horvartez complains,
and gets a yellow card for his troubles. Hauser knocks
off Zingale and Benedetto is all alone to regen his
team. Houser tries a suicide kill, but that doesn't work
and it's now Armed Response against Toth and Estrada.
Estrada does the Suicide Walk off in hopes that Toth can
regen the team. He does and it's a 5 on 5 match-up. Make
that 5 on 4, as Estrada is out. Zingale and Richardson
leave, too, so it's now 4 on 3. Waltrin knocks out
Houser and Horvartez, so it's only Toth left. Toth needs
to make a catch or some kills. He kills Fenderbosch, and
he was waiting for Waltrin to throw his shot. Waltrin
does, and Toth...drops Waltrin's shot. Waltrin makes the
match-ending Kill and Armed Response gets to the finals.
(Armed Response wins, 2-1).
Waltrin says that he is strong and is awaiting the
CPA's. Toth says that the decision to put his ball down
and try to go after Waltrin's shot may have been a
stupid move. He also adds that they needed to eliminate
the Armed Response, because there's been an unguarded
car in Chinatown now for the past 9 weeks. Heh.
The first semi-final match for next week has been set.
CPA's Vs. Armed Response. Let's see what the other match
is going to be...
Match #2 - Bling (5-5) Vs. The Reef Sharks (5-5)
Like the Response, the Blingers have also been 2-0
against their opponents. This would be a bad time to get
their loss, so Bling is going to try to avoid it. Can
Round #1 - Bullis goes out quickly, thanks to a
double-team from Hershey and Frisoli. Though Amy Wiseman
gets a kill on Ulberg, we get a Frisoli double kill on
Long and Thomas. That gets the Sharks mad. Bye-bye
Frisoli, bye-bye Carroll, bye bye Parler and bye-bye
Hershey. (Sharks lead, 1-0).
We hear from Frisoli, who says that they aren't
concerned. He repeats that they have beaten them twice,
and adds that anyone can be lucky enough to win one
round. They better not win any more, Frank...
Round #2 - Hershey steps over the line on the opening
rush and he's gone. He comes back in due to an Ulberg
catch. Frisoli knocks out Wiseman, but Pontius and Long
double-team out Carroll, Ulberg and Frisoli, and Carroll
needs to regen the team. She does so, and Parler takes
out Pontius on the return. We get another double-kill on
Bullis and Pontius, and Thomas is the only shark left.
Can she regen the team? Yes she does, but the guys are
aiming for the returning Sharks to nail. They get Long,
but Hershey crosses over the line and Ulberg and Frisoli
get double teamed out. With Caroll also tagged out, that
leaves Parler to catch something. She can't and a
double-team spells the end of her and Bling's chances to
win the title. You should keep your mouth shut, Frisoli.
(Sharks Win, 2-0).
We do hear from Pontius, who says that they need to win
because they hate bald people. Pontius should also keep
his mouth shut, because I predict that the Deltas are
going to steamroll you guys into oblivion.
With that all said and done, who wants to see an
All-Star Game? I know I do...
Match #3 - All-Star Game!!
David Benedetto - Armed Response
Bobby Roe - Delta Force
Tyrone Rush - Barbell Mafia
Strati Horvartez - Ink Inc.
Mia Parler - Bling
Michael Costanza - CPA
Frank Frisoli - Bling
Mark Long - Reef Sharks
Paul Green - Delta Force
Anna Bartsch - M.A.D.
I don't understand why they just couldn't make it
Classics Vs. New league. They couldn't find a good
female in the Classic Division? Guess not. At stake - a
trophy signed by the current Dodgeball Commissioner,
Bill Rawley. Oooooh.
Round #1 - Rush catches a Costanza shot and nails
Bartsch. Roe catches Frisoli. Horvartez gets a suicide
kill on Green. Long, the last remaining player for
Prozach, kills Roe, and he regens the clock. The
regenerated team eliminates Benedetto and Rush, and
Parler is left. Can she continue to do some elite
dodging? Yes she can, and the DeBills are no longer
debilitated. Roe and Green are gone, to go along with an
eliminated Bartsch and only Long is left for Prozach.
Benedetto tries to climb off of the back of Horvartez
for a suicide-kill, but fails. Parler tries the same,
but also fails. Horvartez tries - and doesn't fail. (DeBill
Round #2 - After some quick bloodshed, we find a 5 on 1
against Strati Horvartez. Oops, he just got hit. Never
mind. (Tied, 1-1).
Round #3 - Costanza and Benedetto are the Dead Men
walking. Shades of next week's semi-finals? Green gets
tagged by teammate Roe, while Bartsch catches a
Horvartez shot. We get a simul-kill on Parler and Rush,
and only Benedetto is left. He gets to regen the team,
though, and it's back to 5 on 5. Bartsch gets eliminated
and Rush catches a Long shot. Horvartez is out and Roe
gets double-team out. Green catches a Rush shot. Frisoli
and Parler each get Blinged out. Costanza tries the hide
behind someone's legs, but Horvartez finally cracks that
strategy as he nails Costanza via side-arm. The dead man
is out, and so is the team. (DeBill wins, 2-1).
Afterwards, Horvartez says that he thought he missed
him, Costanza says that he just wanted to keep his good
looks and composure, and they both said that they would
hang out after the match - with each other, as they are
arm-in-arm. Oooh-la-laa. Even Mary Strong is blanching.
The biggest part of this? Zach is now 0-2 against Bill
and owes him $70. Oh, the financial agony!
Next week - the GRAND FINALE. Join us in 7 days to see
who wins the title and the $25,000 to go along with it.