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Season 2
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You either loved it or hated it growing up, but now in the 21st Century, the scourge of gym class has come back for a brand new season of red balls flying and lame ballers dying!

Follow the road to the championship in our Extreme Dodgeball Skybox!

Recaps by Gordon "Red Hot" Pepper, GSNN


FACT FILE:
Host: Bil Dwyer, Zach Selwyn, Mary Strong
Creator: Rich Cronin
EP: Mark Cronin, James Rowley
Packager: Mindless Entertainment, GSN Originals
Airs: Thursdays at 10:00pm ET on GSN


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Week 4 - November 4

Last week, we got to see what the Expansion Division could do - and with a 1-3 record against the classics, they didn't do much. This week, we go back to interplay, as the teams that haven't seen themselves in their own division yet now get to do so - and we get to watch...

Match #1 - CPA (3-0) Vs. Ink Inc (2-1)

Ink Inc -
Ben 'Psycho' Toth - 5'11", 150, 48 MPH - He's the captain, and he has 4 Kills and 2 catches so far.
Shaun 'Hitman' Hauser - 5'1"0, 215, 45MPH - He is up to 6 kills, 3 of those game-winners.
Strati Hovartez - 6'0", 180, 59MPH - Leads the team with 7 kills while getting 3 catches - maybe a rookie of the year candidate?
Kim Estrada - 5'9". 125. 37MPH - She was on the Curves of Steel. She's no longer there, but she does have... curves - and 1 kill and 1 catch. Heh heh heh...
'Scary' Kari Richardson - 5'8", 135, 31 MPH - What's scary is that she has done nothing of redeemable value yet.

Certified Public Assassins -
Tobias McKinney (6'5, 130, 51 MPH) - He has 6 kills and one catch, which is nice, but...
Michael 'Handsome' Costanza - 5'"10, 160, He leads the team with 11 kills, 4 of them game winners.
Mandy Sommers - She's 5'5" and only one catch. Was last year a fluke?
Art 'Artful Dodger' Spigel - 5'9", 175, 46 MPH. The Artful Dodger leads the league in Regenerations (3), and he has 5 kills and a catch to boot.
Natasha Pospich - She's at 5'7", 135, and like Sommers, she only has 1 catch.

Round 1 - Everyone is gunning for them - especially the Inksters, who saw their season end at the hands of the CPAs. Things are looking good for the Inksters, as Costanza and McKinney are out quick. Spigel knocks out Hovartez and Toth to even the score, and Richardson soon follows. Strati's throw gets caught by Spigel and Estrada gets caught in a Simulthrow to give the CPA's a surprisingly easy win (CPA's lead, 1-0)

Round 2 - Pospich gets tagged out quickly, and McKinney bobbles a catch and bounces it off Spigel for the double elimination. Costanza's shot gets caught by Toth and Sommers gets tagged by the big ball for the just as easy 5-0 shutout from the Inksters (Match tied at 1)

Round 3 - Toth's strategy is to get rid of Spigel early, but it's Costanza and Toth who are the dead men walking. Costanza avoids two simulthrows, but he gets caught on the foot while avoiding the third, and the Inksters get the surprising win and the upset. (Ink wins, 2-1). Well, that's what you get without Steve Altes on your team. Zack and Bil blame it on something else - they didn't take the practice camp seriously, and maybe their lowered stats and Sommers inability to catch a ball is a result of it, adding that they may pay for it later on down the line.

After the match, Costanza is complaining to the refs, and all that gets him are dodgeballs thrown at him by the Inksters and Hovartez. Talk about ungrateful winners. Hovartez calls Costanza a little B!tch and he have our first nasty rivalry.

McKinney says that they won 11 in a row, and they are tied with teams with one loss - big deal. He may have brushed it off, but you know they are fuming and whoever plays them next may be in a world of hurt. Speaking of playing next...

Match #2 - Barbell Mafia (0-3) Vs. Armed Response (2-1)

Barbell Mafia -
Jeramy Freeman - 6'0", 290, 47 MPH - He can benchpress a car - but hasn't benchpressed any kills or catches yet. Yikers.
Tyrone Rush - 6'0", 200, 55 MPH - leads the league with 11 kills. He has 2 catches, too.
Alan Grimes - 5'"10, 360, 45 MPH - No kills, no catches, leads the league in foot faults.
Melissa Coates - The blonde bodybuilder is 5'5", 150 and 37 MPH. She has yet to register a stat this season, though
Vanessa 'Scorpion' Altman -At 5'9", 155 and a 31 MPH shot, she also has no stats. Where's Amazon Beard when you need her?

Armed Response -
David Benedetto - 48MPH - 10 Kills, 0 Catches, Still a Swamp Donkey
Kel Watrin - 61 MPH - Fastest in the league, and deadly with 6 kills and 2 catches
David Rice - 44 MPH - 1 Kill, 0 Catches, and right now, dead weight
Nicole Zingale - 38 MPH - 0 Kills, 1 Catch. But hey she's better than...
Tanya Fenderbosch - 34MPH - 0 Kills, 0 Catches. At least Michelle Manumaleuna screamed a lot and did something. Imagine what they would be like if they got support...

Round 1 - At least Grimes stays in bounds to start the game, but Rush's first kill is disallowed. Watrin's kill is not, as Altman gets taken out. Rice and Grimes are out next, but Rush catches Benedetto's throw, but any momentum is stuffed when Freeman and the returning Altman are gone. Rush catches Watrin and Freeman comes back in, while Zingale gets caught by the 5 second violation. Fenderbosch gets taken out by a Rush suicide kill and the mafia win the first game (Mafia leads, 1-0)

Round 2 - Can we have another upset win? It's not looking like it, as Altman and Rush leave quickly. Grimes gets tagged out and Freeman's catch is caught. Coates does manage to regenerate the team, but as they come back in, Grimes and Rush get tagged. Coates steps out of bounds and Benedetto gets the suicide kill on Freeman, tying up the match (Tied, 1-1)

Round 3 - We get our second straight Dead Man Walking, and the DMW are Benedetto and... Grimes. Grimes? Mr. Foot Fault? Well, it starts out ok as they take out Rice, but a Kel shot quickly takes out Diesel and the Mafia stay winless (Armed Response wins, 2-1). Well, the Mafia deserved that one, as selecting Grimes as the DMW was a horrible move, but they need Amazon Beard back in the worst way.

That's the Classic Division for the week. Let's see what we get from the expansionites.

Match #3 - MAD (1-2) Vs. Reef Sharks (1-2)

Mutually Assured Destruction -
Gary 'Spaz' Davis - 5'11", 165, 43MPH - The captain has 5 kills and 2 catches, not good numbers for a team leader.
Tarone Cathcart - 6'1", 180, 41MPH - has 4 kills and 3 catches - none of which happened after week #1.
Marie Philman - 5'10", 180, 48MPH - She hash 2 kills and 4 catches, but only 1 catch since week #1.
Mark Vannorden - 5'10", 167, 39 MPH - The stats say it all - 1 Kill, 1 Catch, 1 virus
Anna Bartsch - 5'4", 160, 35MPH - she has the best stats with 4 kills, 2 catches and 2 regenerations. Now if only she can find a real team...

Reef Sharks -
Mark Pontius - He's no longer a mime - he's now a surfer dude, but with 5 kills and only 1 catch, he should be surfing with Spaz.
Mark Long - He's 6'3", 205 and throws up to 50 mph. He has 10 kills this season.
Chris Bullis - Another new guy (6'2", 200, 43 MPH). With 3 kills and 1 catch, he's hanging in there.
Amy Wiseman - 5'6", 125, 36 MPH She has 1 kill and 1 catch so far.
Melanie Thomas - 5'4", 125, 26 MPH - unless she catches well, she has 'dead weight' written all over her. She has no stats, which makes her a clunky old anchor.

Round 1 - Pontius takes out Pontius, who quickly gets eliminated by Cathcart, who steps over the line and eliminates himself. Long is out from Bartsch, but she and Philman both fault out, which leaves Spaz. He does get the regeneration, and Thomas's throw is caught by Bartsch. Bullis now has to stick around for 20 seconds, and he does so, but Pontius and Thomas are knocked out quickly. Long manages to knock out the guys, but Philman catches Wiseman's shot and it's her and Spaz vs. Bullis. Bullis catches Bartsch's shot, but gets tagged by Spaz's shot, so it's now Spaz Vs. Pontius. Spaz's shot...is caught by Pontius in a very competitive match (Sharks lead, 1-0)

Round 2 - Spaz quickly faults out, and Cathcart and Vannorden quickly follow. Bartsch is out, but Spaz regens the team - and catches a shot to boot. Pontius's shot gets caught, and the other reef males follow. Cathcart's shot gets caught by Wiseman, and Vannorden gets taken out as well. Thomas is all alone, but she regens and we are right back where we started. Cathcart is out, and it quickly gets knocked down to Spaz and Bartsch. Bartsch catches a shot, but she and Vannorden are taken out immediately. Spaz is left, and he couldn't get it done on a one on one basis, so he's not going to get it done with Pontius and 2 ladies - especially when Thomas catches Spaz's shot for the game winner. (Sharks win, 2-0). Afterwards, Spaz complains of a dead arm, but it was his throws that were pretty dead.

We go Beyond the Ball with Gary 'Spaz' Davis, who works for the defense department. He loves physics, and he talks about the spin of the ball and the types of throws you could use. Too bad that the knowledge hasn't helped him that much as of late.

We have one more match to go...

Match #4 - Delta Force (1-2) Vs. The Bling (2-1)

Delta Force
Paul 'Rambo' Green - A former player in the NFL - 6'3, 215, 60 MPH - and he can turn his eyeballs inside out. That's one SCARY dude.
Geoff Meed - A former professional Jujitsu Martial Artist. 5'10", 177, 44 MPH. Not as scary as Green - but still scary.
Bobby Roe - A former college baseball player. 6'5", 235, 48MPH. He's another big boy.
Lisa Marshall - She's not 6', but at 5'10, 170 and 36MPH, she's another built player.
Linda Overheu - 5'9", 130, 38MPH. At last, someone who I can't accuse of bulking up.

The Bling -
Portis Hershey - 48MPH - 1 Catch, 1 Kill, and no haircut for the afro-puff
Adam Ullberg - 50MPH - 3 Kills, 1 Catch
Frank Frisoli - 59MPH - 7 Kills, 1 Game Winner, seems like their top gun
Mia Parlor - 3 Kills, 1 Catch, 1 regeneration - the ladies on this team can work it...
Alvina Carroll - 33 MPH ...well, Parlor can. Carroll has yet to get on the board.

Round 1 - Meed and Roe are the first casualties, and Overheu faults out. That leaves it to the Marshall and Green, who pick off the Blingers until Parler is left. Parler is looking good - for 19 seconds, but Green takes her out with one second left on the regen clock. That hurts. (Delta Force leads, 1-0)

Round 2 - Marshall is out early, and Green joins her, along with Hershey. It's the Blingers who then go Delta Force hunting, and only Roe is left. He does get the regen going and Parler is left alone again. They don't torment her this time for 19 seconds - they get her with only 7 seconds in. (Delta Force wins, 2-0)

Who is the player of the week? Spigel, Long, or Davis? Well, being that 2 of them are from losing teams, I would expect the reef shark to win. I am... wrong. Spaz gets 45%, while Long the reefer gets 38% and Spigel has 17.
Here are the standings, as I know I am right about this -

CLASSIC DIVISION
CPA: Certified Public Assassins 3-1
Armed Response 3-1
Ink Inc. 3-1
Barbell Mafia 0-4
EXPANSION DIVISION
Bling 2-2
Delta Force 2-2
Reef Sharks 2-2
MAD: Mutually Assured Destruction 1-3

Next week - the CPA's are steamed - and want to steam some sharks. We'll see if they can, as intralegue competition continues.

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