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You either loved it or hated it growing up, but now in the 21st Century, the scourge of gym class has come back for a brand new season of red balls flying and lame ballers dying!

Follow the road to the championship in our Extreme Dodgeball Skybox!

Recaps by Gordon "Red Hot" Pepper, GSNN


FACT FILE:
Host: Bil Dwyer, Zach Selwyn, Mary Strong
Creator: Rich Cronin
EP: Mark Cronin, James Rowley
Packager: Mindless Entertainment, GSN Originals
Airs: Thursdays at 10:00pm ET on GSN


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Week 8 - December 9

We are getting the party started early tonight, as we get the CPA's first. They have lost 2 of their past 3 matches - and they are not very happy about it. The Response lost last week - but they can tie the CPA's with a win here. Can they?

Match #1 - Armed Response (4-3) Vs. CPA's (5-2)

Armed Response -
David Benedetto - 48MPH - 25 Kills, 2 Catches, Still a Swamp Donkey
Kel Waltrin - 61 MPH - Fastest in the league, and deadly with 23 kills (4 game winners) and 4 catches...but he has a TENDON INJURY! Replacing him is...
Danno 'Kamikaze' Kingman - No stats - but he's a rookie.
David Rice - 44 MPH - 15 Kills, 7 Catches, and finally has woken up
Nicole Zingale - 38 MPH - 2 Kills, 5 Catches. But hey she's better than...
Tanya Fenderbosch - 34MPH - 1 Kill, 1 Catch. At least Michelle Manu screamed a lot and did something. Imagine what they would be like if they got support...

Certified Public Assassins -
Tobias McKinney (6'5, 130, 51 MPH) - 15 kills and 5 catches on the season - but only 2 in the last 3 matches.
Michael 'Handsome' Costanza - He's up to 26 kills (and 6 game winners) - but he may want some help from McKinney.
Art 'Artful Dodger' Spigel - 5'9", 175, 46 MPH. He has plenty of help from Spigel, who has 14 kills, 3 catches and 5 regens
Mandy Sommers - Last year, the 5'5" player had 12 catches. This year - 5. She has to step it up
Natasha Pospich - She's 5'7", 135 and a former tennis pro, but she has 1 kill, 1 catch, and a wrist injury.

Rice has a 'No Spigel' Tattoo. Kingman should have a no Sommers tattoo, because in Round 1, his first throw gets caught by Sommers. Rice is out next, followed by Benedetto and Zingale. Benedetto goes get the regen, and the returning Kingman takes out Costanza. Sommers and McKinney are next, and even though Kingman is gone, Pospich goes out too, leaving the no Spigel zone. Benedetto gets him with a suicide kill and the Response takes the first match (Armed Response leads, 1-0)

Round 2 - Costanza, Pospich and McKinney are taken out early, which isn't good for the CPA. Spigel gets a catch - but the returning Costanza is negated by a Fenderbosch catch and it's now a 20 second Spigel zone. He regens the team, but Costanza gets tagged on the way back in. He complains and gets a yellow card for his troubles. After a melee of both teams throwing around the big ball, Fenderbosch gets called out on a 5 second delay. Mckinney is out on a Kingman catch and both teams get a delay warning as they continue to roll the big ball. Pospich gets tagged - but a Sommers catch on Rice brings back McKinney. It's down to Costanza Vs. Kingman and Zingale. The refs gives yellow cards to everyone on the floow - which means that Kingman and Zingale gets Yellows, as does Costanza. That's his second yellow, so for him, that's a red card. He gets thrown out of the game, and as a result, the CPA's have no one on the court, so they lose (Armed Response wins, 2-0). Costanza is stunned and storms off the court, without giving any exit interviews. Michael Costanza needs a hug.

Either the Reef Sharks or M.A.D. is going to need a hug after this match. Whoever loses this one is going to be in deep danger of missing the playoffs.

Match #2 - Reef Sharks (3-4) Vs. M.A.D. (2-5)

Reef Sharks -
Mark Pontius - He's been sharking around with 16 kills and 3 catches with a 50 mph shot.
Mark Long - He's 6'3", 205 and throws up to 50 mph. He had 24 kills - 2 of them for game winners this season.
Chris Bullis - Another new guy (6'2", 200, 43 MPH) - with 12 kills and 5 catches to boot
Amy Wiseman - 5'6", 125, 36 MPH She has 12 kills as well with Pontius. Sweet.
Melanie Thomas - 5'4", 125, 26 MPH - 1 catch, 1 regen, 1 surfboard.

Mutually Assured Destruction -
Gary 'Spaz' Davis - 5'11", 165, 43MPH - The captain has 14 kills and 2 catches, not good numbers for a team leader.
Tarone Cathcart - 6'1", 180, 41MPH - has 9 kills and 3 catches - none of which happened after week #1.
Marie Philman - 5'10", 180, 48MPH - She hash 6 kills and 5 catches, keeping up with Bartsch.
Mark Vannorden - 5'10", 167, 39 MPH - The stats say it all - 8 Kills, 1 Catch, 1 virus
Anna Bartsch - 5'4", 160, 35MPH - she has 6 kills, 5 catches and 2 regenerations. Now if only she can find a real team...

Round 1 - The women take out Bullis, but Bartsch is out thanks to Pontius. Philman brings back in Bartsch thanks to a catch on Long, though Cathcart is carted out and Pontius hits Vannorden. A Pontius catch takes care of Philman, and as Davis gets hit by Pontius, Bartsch steps out of bounds, giving the sharks a bite of the first round (Sharks lead, 1-0)

Round 2 - Bartsch catches a Pontius shot, but Davis is out, thanks to Long. After a catching medley that sees everyone shuffle, we get Cathcart and Philbin Vs. the lady Sharks and Bullis. Cathcart gets knocked out, but Philbin regens the team - and then Cathicart is promptly out again. Pontius is out on a 5 second call and a shark attack takes out Spaz and Bartsch. M.A.D. responds with an attack of their own, leaving only Wiseman. She gets to regen, and everyone is back for the Sharks. That spells trouble for M.A.D., but they come back as Long and Bartsch are left. Long throws a shot...which Bartsch catches, tying up the match (Tied, 1-1).

Round 3 - The Dead People Walking are Davis for M.A.D. and Wiseman for the Sharks. Vannorden and Bartsch quickly find their way out, but Philbin brings back Vannorden and takes out Long. Catches take out Bullis and Pontius, and it's now a 5 on 1 on Wiseman. She somehow regens and its's the Sharks turn to leave the playing field, as Philbin leaves. Bartch catches Long's shot and it's 4 on 2, but Bullis starts picking off M.A.D.s until Philbin and Davis are left. Davis makes a fatal error - he throws a shot that Bullis gobbles up. Since Davis is the DMW, they lose (Sharks win, 2-1). The Sharks get back to .500 while the MADsters may be going back to the laboratory.

That was for the bottom of the Expansion Division. This is for the Top - and it will be all Bling if they win this one...

Match #3 - Delta Force (3-4) Vs. Bling (5-2)

The Bling -
Portis Hershey - 48MPH - The Chinchilla has been a little crazy with 2 Catches, 9 Kills, and two regens.
Frank Frisoli - 59MPH - He's been the main guy with 29 Kills, 4 Game Winners and 2 catches
Adam Ullberg - 50MPH - He's been the true sidekick with 20 Kills, 4 Catches
Mia Parlor - 7 Kills, 1 Catch, 1 regeneration - She calls herself the female Kobe Bryant...
Alvina Carroll - 33 MPH ...which makes her the female Dennis Rodman, though she does have 1 kill and 3 catches.

Delta Force
Paul 'Rambo' Green - A former player in the NFL - 6'3, 215, 60 MPH - and he can turn his eyeballs inside out. Plus he has 25 kills and 4 catches. Still scary...
Bobby Roe - A former college baseball player. 6'5", 235, 48MPH. He's another big boy, with 24 kills and 2 catches..
Geoff Meed - A former professional Jujitsu Martial Artist. 5'10", 177, 44 MPH, Not as scary as Green with only 3 kills and 2 catch - but still scary.
Lisa Marshall - She's not 6', but at 5'10, 170 and 36MPH, she's another built player. She has 7 kills, 2 regens and 1 catch.
Linda Overheu - 5'9", 130, 38MPH. At last, someone who I can't accuse of bulking up - but she has 3 kills, 2 catches and 1 regen. Can she cowboy up?


Round 1 - Frisoli makes the first catch, which eliminates Roe. Green and Meed are next, and the big guns for the Force are out. Roe comes back in, thanks to a Marshall catch and it's now Bling hunting season. Carroll is left, and Roe doesn't let her regen the team (Force leads, 1-0)

Round 2 - 'We're going to take out the Tumbleweed first, then the little Ewok, then the Dutch Boy' says Green, who says that Bling is more worried about Jewelry than the win. Well, the Carroll woman goes out first, then the Dutch Boy (Frisoli) then the tumbleweed (Hershey), then the Ewok (Ulberg) and finally the Parlor in a 5-0 spanking (Force wins, 2-0). Well, instead of clinching the division, Bling now is only 1 game up on both the Force and the Sharks and that bye may not be as ready as planned....

We go Beyond the Ball with Green, who was in the NFL for 7 years. He played for the Broncos, who got to the Super Bowl, adding that he loves the intense excitement that he gets in the Dodgeball Court. He didn't play much in the NFL, did he? He loves working in the farming field and wants to be the next Mr. Clean Spokesman. Uhhhh...ok.

With that, we get to one more match...

Match #4 - Barbell Mafia (2-5) Vs. Ink, Inc. (4-3)

Barbell Mafia -
Jeramy Freeman - 6'0", 290, 47 MPH - He can benchpress a car - but has only benchpressed 3 kills. Yikers.
Tyrone Rush - 6'0", 200, 55 MPH - has 25 kills. He has 10 catches, too.
Alan Grimes - 5'"10, 360, 45 MPH - 7 kills, no catches, leads the league in foot faults.
Melissa Coates - The blonde bodybuilder is 5'5", 150 and 37 MPH. She has yet to register a stat this season, though
Vanessa 'Scorpion' Altman -At 5'9", 155 and a 31 MPH shot, she also has no stats. Where's Amazon Beard when you need her?

Ink Inc -
Ben 'Psycho' Toth - 5'11", 150, 48 MPH - He's the captain, and he has 12 Kills and 4 catches so far
Shaun 'Hitman' Hauser - 5'1"0, 215, 45MPH - He is up to 14 kills, 4 of those game-winners.
Strati Hovartez - 6'0", 180, 59MPH - Leads the team with 17 kills while getting 4 catches - maybe a rookie of the year candidate?
Kim Estrada - 5'9". 125. 37MPH - She was on the Curves of Steel. She's no longer there, but she does have...curves - and 1 kill and 6 catches. Heh heh heh...
'Scary' Kari Richardson - 5'8", 135, 31 MPH - What's scary is that she has 3 catches - but no kills.

Round 1 - The Mafia can't play without Rush, and the Inksters can't play against bad teams. Toth catches Rush and Grime's throws - but they let Coates regen. That was a mistake, as Rush destroys 4 of the Inksters and Grimes spikes Estrada for the win (Mafia lead, 1-0).

Round 2 - Grimes and Rush make early exits, but Freeman brings them both back in with catches from Toth and Hovartez. That leaves Rush in against Hauser and the women, which spells bad news for Ink. Richardson, the last person left, evades the balls - but she kicks one, which gets her a warning. 4 seconds later, she kicks another one, and that gets her thrown out of the game. She pulls a Costanza, and the Mafia get a bizarre win (Mafia win, 2-0). Estrada now gets to kick the ball and Toth has words for the refs after that weird match - but then again, it's been pretty much a weird night for everyone. If the Inksters don't win the division, they can point to this match as why.

Who gets the player of the week? Benedetto, Philbin or Long? According to you, it's...Benedetto, with 46%. Long has 41% and Philbin has 13%.

We got some standings too, by the way.

CLASSIC DIVISION
Armed Response 5-3
CPA: Certified Public Assassins 5-3
Ink Inc. 4-4
Barbell Mafia 3-5
EXPANSION DIVISION
Bling 5-3
Delta Force 4-4
Reef Sharks 4-4
MAD: Mutually Assured Destruction 2-6

Next week - it's desperation time! There's only 2 weeks left. Let's see who
wants it more.

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