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Week 10 - December 23

Well you can say that there's nothing to play for - and technically, you'd be right, as we all know the 6 teams who will be in the playoffs. The question is - who gets the bye and who has to show up next week and play? We start to find out...right now.

Match #1 - Delta Force (5-4) Vs. Reef Sharks (5-4)

The winner gets to be tied for first in the Expansion Division. The loser gets to be at .500.

Reef Sharks -
Mark Pontius - He's been sharking around with 23 kills and 14 catches with a 50 mph shot.
Mark Long - He's 6'3", 205 and throws up to 50 mph. He had 2 catches and 34 kills - 2 of them for game winners this season.
Chris Bullis - Another new guy (6'2", 200, 43 MPH) - with 16 kills and 7 catches to boot
Amy Wiseman - 5'6", 125, 36 MPH She has 15 kills as well as 4 regens. Sweet.
Melanie Thomas - 5'4", 125, 26 MPH - 1 catch, 1 regen, 2 catches, 1 surfboard.

Delta Force
Paul 'Rambo' Green - A former player in the NFL - 6'3, 215, 60 MPH - and he can turn his eyeballs inside out. Plus he has 34 kills (6 game winners) and 5 catches. That's one SCARY dude.
Bobby Roe - A former college baseball player. 6'5", 235, 48MPH. He's another big boy, with 32 kills and 4 catches... Another scary dude...
Geoff Meed - A former professional Jujitsu Martial Artist. 5'10", 177, 44 MPH, Not as scary as Green with only 5 kills and 2 catches - but still scary.
Lisa Marshall - She's not 6', but at 5'10, 170 and 36MPH, she's another built player. She has 8 kills, 2 regens and 2 catches.
Linda Overhieu - 5'9", 130, 38MPH. At last, someone who I can't accuse of bulking up - but she has 3 kills, 3 catches and 1 regen. Can she cowboy up?

Round 1 - Pontius goes out quickly, which is not good for the sharks. Long is next and Thomas quickly follows. The Sharks get a kill when Overhieu is gone, while a Bullis catch brings back Pontius and eliminates Meed. Green and Roe leave. which brings back Marshall, but she regens the team. The revived force knocks the sharks down to Wiseman, but she gets nailed and the Force takes first blood (Force leads, 1-0).

Round 2 - Pontius is once again successfully targeted out, and Bullis and Long leaves with him. We are down to female sharks, and they don't last too long as the Force get the quick series win (Sharks win, 2-0)

The Force win the match, and should Bling lose, the Force wins the division. Should the Bling win, then we see what the tie-breaker is. Speaking of which...

Match #2 - Bling (5-4) Vs. M.A.D. (2-7)

The Bling -
Portis Hershey - 48MPH - The Chinchilla has been a little crazy with 2 Catches, 11 Kills, and two regens.
Frank Frisoli - 59MPH - He's been the main guy with 32 Kills, 4 Game Winners and 2 catches
Adam Ullberg - 50MPH - He's been the true sidekick with 21 Kills, 4 Catches
Mia Parlor - 7 Kills, 1 Catch, 1 regeneration - She calls herself the female Kobe Bryant...
Alvina Carroll - 33 MPH ...which makes her the female Dennis Rodman, though she does have 1 kill and 4 catches.

Mutually Assured Destruction -
Gary 'Spaz' Davis - 5'11", 165, 43MPH - The captain has 20 kills and 2 catches, not good numbers for a team leader.
Tarone Cathcart - 6'1", 180, 41MPH - has 13 kills and 3 catches - none of which happened after week #1.
Marie Philman - 5'10", 180, 48MPH - She hash 9 kills and 5 catches, keeping up with Bartsch.
Mark Vannorden - 5'10", 167, 39 MPH - The stats say it all - 13 Kills, 1 Catch, 1 virus
Anna Bartsch - 5'4", 160, 35MPH - she has 8 kills, 5 catches and 2 regenerations. Now if only she can find a real team...

Round 1 - Ulberg says that they can't afford to be complacent - but after a failed suicide kill, the M.A.D. regen and take out the Bling (M.A.D. lead, 1-0).

Round 2 - We get another Bling assault - and another M.A.D. regen. THis time, however, Bling answers the assault and takes out M.A.D. (Tied, 1-1).

Round 3 - The DMW are Davis and Carroll. In this game, it seems like M.A.D. wanted it more, as they dissect Bling. Carroll gets eliminated as M.A.D. gets the big upset (M.A.D. wins, 2-1). Delta Force gets the expansion division and they get next week off.

The Expansion league is done. Let's see who wins the Classic Division.

Match #2 - Armed Response (5-4) Vs. Barbell Mafia (3-6)

To have any shot at the title, Armed Response HAS to win this. The Mafia is leaving, regardless of the outcome.

Armed Response -
David Benedetto - 48MPH - 32 Kills, 3 Catches, Still a Swamp Donkey
Kel Watrin - 61 MPH - Fastest in the league, and deadly with 23 kills (4 game winners) and 4 catches...but he has a TENDON INJURY! Replacing him is...
Danno 'Kamikaze' Kingman - 4 kills, 1 catch, and a rookie.
David Rice - 44 MPH - 19 Kills, 7 Catches, and finally has woken up
Nicole Zingale - 38 MPH - 2 Kills, 6 Catches. But hey she's better than...
Tanya Fenderbosch - 34MPH - 1 Kill, 2 Catches. At least Michelle Manu screamed a lot and did something. Imagine what they would be like if they got support...

Barbell Mafia -
Jeramy Freeman - 6'0", 290, 47 MPH - He can benchpress a car - but has only benchpressed 6 kills. Yikers.
Tyrone Rush - 6'0", 200, 55 MPH - has 31 kills. He has 11 catches, too.
Alan Grimes - 5'"10, 360, 45 MPH - 13 kills, 3 catches, leads the league in foot faults.
Melissa Coates - The blonde bodybuilder is 5'5", 150 and 37 MPH. She has yet to register a stat this season, though she has 1 regen (which doesn't really count as a stat)
Vanessa 'Scorpion' Altman - At 5'9", 155 and a 31 MPH shot, she also has no stats. Where's Amazon Beard when you need her?

Round 1 - Danno Kingman plays the roll of Ullberg, saying that they can't afford to look beyond the Mafia. All they have to do is neutralize Rush...but Rush takes out Rice and Zingale. Grimes leaves the Mafia and Rush's shot is caught by the Swamp Donkey. That spells curtain for the Mafia, as Coates, Altman and Freeman all go bye-bye (Response leads, 1-0).

We go beyond to Tyrone Rush...who although works with handicap children, will not make the playoffs, so who cares. It's too bad that they don't have a TEAM behind him. What team will pick him up as a free agent next year?

Round 2 - The Mafia-ettes (Coates and Altman) leave quickly, but Benedetto also gets knocked out in a triple-kill. Rush continues to go nuts - but Rice catches Rush's shot, forcing Grimes to regen the team. He happens to do this, and it's the Mafia Vs. Kingman and Zingale. In the turning event of the match, Rush's shot is caught by Kingman, who gets rid of Freeman. Coates is all alone - and all gone. (Response wins, 2--0). The Response eagerly hope for an Ink Inc. win, which gives THEM the Classic Title.

Match #4 - CPA (6-3) Vs. Ink Inc (5-4)

The Inksters can't win - but they can send the CPA's to third if they defeat them and force a rematch next week. Should the CPA win, they are off next week.

Ink Inc -
Ben 'Psycho' Toth - 5'11", 150, 48 MPH - He's the captain, and he has 15 Kills and 4 Regens and 4 catches so far
Shaun 'Hitman' Hauser - 5'1"0, 215, 45MPH - He is up to 16 kills, 4 of those game-winners.
Strati Hovartez - 6'0", 180, 59MPH - Leads the team with 25 kills while getting 4 catches - maybe a rookie of the year candidate?
Kim Estrada - 5'9". 125. 37MPH - She was on the Curves of Steel. She's no longer there, but she does have...curves - and 4 kills, 2 regens and 6 catches. Heh heh heh...
'Scary' Kari Richardson - 5'8", 135, 31 MPH - What's scary is that she has 3 catches - and 1 kill.

Certified Public Assassins -
Tobias McKinney (6'5, 130, 51 MPH) - 20 kills and 5 catches on the season - but only 2 in the last 3 matches.
Michael 'Handsome' Costanza - He's up to 33 kills (and 6 game winners) - but he may want some help from McKinney.
Art 'Artful Dodger' Spigel - 5'9", 175, 46 MPH. He has plenty of help from Spigel, who has 20 kills, 3 catches and 8 regens
Mandy Sommers - Last year, the 5'5" player had 12 catches. This year - 9. She has to step it up
Natasha Pospich - She's 5'7", 135 and a former tennis pro, but she has 1 kill, 1 catch, and a wrist injury.

Round 1 - Costanza strikes first with a mid-air catch on Hauser. McKinney and Richardson both leave and Toth catches a Spigel shot. Costanza runs up the wall and moves out of bounds - which gets him to flip the bird - and that gets him a yellow card. Sommers leaves, which leaves us with Pospich, who gets tagged out by a returning Hauser shot (Ink leds, 1-0)

Round 2 - Toth goes nuts again - this time catching a Costanza shot. McKinney gets hit and Estrada steps out of bounds. Pospich gets knocked out next, leaving Spigel and Sommers - but Sommers catches a Hovartez shot and McKinney comes back in. Richardson suicide walks out, leaving Hauser to regen for 20 seconds. He does, and the team comes back in. McKinney, Spigel and Hovartez go back out, leaving Sommers to defend. She survives a suicide attempt by Toth, leaving a full CPA squad Vs. Estrada, Hauser and Richardson. Hauser takes out both CPA women, but Richardson and Hovartez gets knocked out. Hauser and Estrada quickly joins them and the CPA keep their shot at the division title alive (Tied, 1-1).

Round 3 - This is Classic Dodgeball from the CPA. The Inksters are pegged out one by one until Richardson and Toth are left. Toth, with plenty of fight left, knocks out Sommers and McKinney. He then sends out Richardson to take the Suicide Walk to get the clock to get the 20 second regeneration clock going...but a well thrown shot from Spigel knocks the ball out of Toth's hands. End of game. End of Match. End of the Regular Season. The CPA's defend their league title. (CPA wins, 2-1)

So here are the final regular season standings -

CLASSIC DIVISION
CPA: Certified Public Assassins	7-3
Armed Response	6-4
Ink Inc.	5-5
Barbell Mafia - ELIMINATED	3-7
EXPANSION DIVISION
Delta Force	6-4
Bling	5-5
Reef Sharks	5-5
MAD: Mutually Assured Destruction - ELIMINATED	3-7

Nest week, we have the following - Wild Card Action - Armed Response Vs. Ink Inc. and Bling Vs. Reef Sharks

And...

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