EXTREME DODGEBALL:
Season 2
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You either loved it or hated it growing up, but now in the 21st Century, the scourge of gym class has come back for a brand new season of red balls flying and lame ballers dying!

Follow the road to the championship in our Extreme Dodgeball Skybox!

Recaps by Gordon "Red Hot" Pepper, GSNN
 

FACT FILE:
Host:
Bil Dwyer, Zach Selwyn, Mary Strong
Creator: Rich Cronin
EP: Mark Cronin, James Rowley
Packager: Mindless Entertainment, GSN Originals
Airs: Thursdays at 10:00pm ET on GSN


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Week 2 - October 21

We are back for episode #2, and this week, we continue to see inter-league action as we have everyone switch partners. Now dance your tattooed players, do-si-do...

Match #1 - Barbell Mafia (0-1) Vs. Ink. Inc. (0-1) The Mafia came soooo close to giving the CPA's loss #1. Can they take it out on the Inksters?

Barbell Mafia -
Jeramy Freeman - 6'0", 290, 47 MPH - He can bench-press a car. Yikers.
Tyrone Rush - 6'0", 200, 55 MPH - had 8 kills last week.
Alan Grimes - 5'"10, 360, 45 MPH - the DMW last week, he wants redemption
Melissa Coates - The blonde bodybuilder is 5'5", 150 and 37 MPH. Did I mention that she's a pro bodybuilder?
Vanessa 'Scorpion' Altman - She's a newbie, but at 5'9", 155 and a 31 MPH shot, she's a nasty newbie.

Ink Inc. (Hey, we get line-ups from them this week. Whoopie!)
Ben 'Psycho' Toth - 5'11", 150, 48 MPH - He's the captain
Shaun 'Hitman' Hauser - 5'1"0, 215, 45MPH - 3 Kills last week. 3 Kids - but not from last week, and no, he didn't kill the kids.
Strati Hovartez - 6'0", 180, 59MPH - maybe the second fastest thrower (to Kel Waltrin) - maybe a rookie of the year candidate?
Kim Estrada - 5'9". 125. 37MPH - She was on the Curves of Steel. She's no longer there, but she does have... curves. Heh heh heh...
'Scary' Kari Richardson - 5'8", 135, 31 MPH - Her play last week was scary (but not in a good way), indeed.

Both teams are 0-1, and they are both returning teams - but according to Strong, this is the first time that they are playing each other. The loser is 0-2, which is not where you want to be with playoff berths in the balance...

Round 1 - Toth gets taken out immediately, and Grimes goes back to his foot-falting ways, eliminating himself. Rush tags Hauser off a miss on Rush, but Hovartez gets Rush while a Freeman throw is caught by Estrada, bringing Toth back in the game. Altman gets picked off and Coates's throw is caught by Hovartez as the Inksters get the win (Ink Inc leads, 1-0).

Round 2 - During the intermission, Toth talks about how the ink is intimidating the Mafia. Will anyone be intimidated by the Big Ball? No, as Hauser gets tagged out. Rush throws a ball caught by Toth, so Rush is out, and Hauser is back in - but then Hauser throws a ball that's caught by Grimes, so Hauser is back out and Rush is back in. Everybody got that? Good. Rush walks into a Big Ball shot and gets eliminated in a most embarrassing fashion. Toth eliminates Grimes and once again, the ladies are left. They don't last very long in a 4-2 shootout and the Inksters get the surprising win. (Ink wins, 2-0).

The Inksters are back to .500 in a huge win over the finalists. The Mafia drops to a shocking 0-2 with the loss. Toth curses out everyone as they say that they will (bleep) everyone en route to the title. I don't think I want that image in my mind...

Let's see the other division in action.

Match #2 - Bling (0-1) Vs. Reef Sharks (1-0)

Bling - Well we still don't have a line-up, but trust me when I say that Adam Ullberg, Frank Frisoli, Portis Hershey, Mia Parlor, and Alvina Carroll are all there, somewhere.

Reef Sharks -
Mark Pontius - He's no longer a mime - he's now a surfer dude, which I guess based on last year's profile of him, fits his personality. He had 19 kills and 9 catches last year.
Mark Long - He's 6'3", 205 and throws up to 50 mph. He had 6 kills in the last match.
Chris Bullis - Another new guy (6'2", 200, 43 MPH)
Amy Wiseman - 5'6", 125, 36 MPH She had a few catches last week.
Melanie Thomas - 5'4", 125, 26 MPH - unless she catches well, she has 'dead weight' written all over her.

Round 1 - Long steps out of bounds for the first out - and then Pontius and Bullis quickly join them. The women are left, but make that woman as Portis catches Wiseman's shot. Wiseman can avoid 16 seconds worth of evasion, but not 20 as the men trip hr up for the 5-0 shutout (Bling leads, 1-0)

Round 2 - Bullis shot bounced off 2 players three times - but is caught and Bullis is out. Caroll can't catch the big ball, so she's out. Hershey gets out, but Pontius steps over the line and Wiseman gets tagged. Thomas gets another shot at surviving for 20 seconds, but Parlor wants none of that and gets rid of Thomas with a Kamikaze Kill (where you jump over the line, eliminating yourself, but ensuring that you take out your opponent by tagging them in mid-air). The underdogs are now 2-0, as they beat the Sharks by the same score (Bling wins, 2-0).

Next up - the other half of the Expansion Division

Match #3 - Delta Force (0-1) Vs. M.A.D. (1-0)

Delta Force
Paul 'Rambo' Green - A former player in the NFL - 6'3, 215, 60 MPH - and he can turn his eyeballs inside out. That's one SCARY dude.
Geoff Meed - A former professional jujitsu martial artist. 5'10", 177, 44 MPH. Not as scary as Green - but still scary.
Bobby Roe - A former college baseball player. 6'5", 235, 48MPH. He's another big boy. What sort of water are they drinking out there? Do these Dodgeball Players get tested for 'Roids?
Lisa Marshall - She's not 6', but at 5'10, 170 and 36MPH, she's another built player.
Linda Overheu - 5'9", 130, 38MPH. At last, someone who I can't accuse of bulking up. Can she cowboy up?

M.A.D.
Gary 'Spaz' Davis - 5'11", 165, 43MPH - The captain with one game-winning kill
Tarone Cathcart - 6'1", 180, 41MPH - has 4 kills
Marie Philman - 5'10", 180, 48MPH - Yep, she throws faster than the guys
Mark Van Norden - 5'10", 167, 39 MPH - and this guy, too, but he's a web designer, so he's cool
Anna Bartsch - 5'4", 160, 35MPH - she played soccer in college - and has 2 kills

Delta Force looked, well, pretty bad last week... can they do better this week? Round 1 says.... no early, as Meed is the first person out. Davis gets taken out, but in the confusion, both Roe and Marshall for the Force knock themselves out of bounds. Now what sort of army discipline is that? They do eliminate Cathcart and Bartsch, so Philman is left, but she takes care of Overheu, leaving her and Green left. Her shot misses, Green's does not. (Force lead, 1-0).

Round 2 - Spaz isn't intimidated, saying his hit from Green was like a feather. That's fighting talk - and everyone wants to go over the foul line to fight. Well, that doesn't happen, but on the opening rush, Marshall, Van Norden and Davis all foul and are all sent to the sidelines. Philman takes out Roe, Green takes out Cathcart and Bartsch, and only Philman is left again. Meed, in his overzealousness, fouls over the line, but Green doesn't and eliminates her with 3 seconds left on the Regeneration chart. The Force sweeps out M.A.D. (2-0) and everyone is tied in the Expansion Division. Green, who now respects everyone, will stop talking trash and will let his game talk for himself. Oooohhhh.

Finally, we have Armed Response (1-0) Vs. the CPA (1-0) for the early league lead. But first, another Boot Camp video, where we see the throwing and dodging sessions. The judges think that the new divsion will dismantle the classic division, We will see...

Armed Response -
Still no offical line-up, so we'll use last week's blurb - The only person back is David 'Swamp Donkey' Benedetto, but he has the most coveted free agent from the off-season - Curves of Steel's KEL WALTRIN. Uh-oh... David Rice, Tanya Fenderbosch and Nicole Zingale are the rookies to the team.

CPA -
Tobias McKinney (6'5, 130, 51 MPH) - Yes, the stats are correct - he's as skinny as a beanpole - but don't mess with him or he'll drill you upside the head.
Michael 'Handsome' Costanza - 5'"10, 160, 35 kills last year - the MVP on the team - for good reason.
Mandy Sommers - Could also be the MVP of the season. she's only 5'5" but has 12 catches (the most out of anyone) and has glue for hands
Art 'Artful Dodger' Spigel - 5'9", 175, 46 MPH. He's one of the rookies
Natasha Pospich - She's the other rookie, but at 5'7", 135 with long blonde hair, and as a former tennis pro, she looks more like a shorter Natasha Henstridge - Yowsers

Round 1 - Benedetto fouls early and fouls out, and Rice quickly joins him. Waltrin catches a simul-throw, which knocks him out - but he caught Costanza's ball, which knocks him out and brings Benedetto back in. Benedetto then takes both balls and puts them right over the line into CPA territory. This is interesting, because both the CPA's have to get one of the balls (or get docked a person with a 5 second violation), but if they go up there to get it, Benedetto will reach over, grab a ball and plaster them with it, like what he does to Sommers. Pospich and McKinney go out the same way, and Spigel is left - but they let the CPA's regenerate as he doesn't throw a shot at Spigel. Wha? That allows the CPA's to come back - and Benedetto does the same thing again to Pospich, but Benedetto doesn't get it set up and gets whistled out for a 5 second penalty. That only leaves the women, and McKinney tags both of them for the win (CPA lead, 1-0)

Round 2 - We get the interview on the strategy, where Benedetto says that they may have to resort to trickery to beat the CPA. Sommers chats with the CPA's about it, and no one seems happy with Benedetto's strategy - including Dwyer, Selwyn and the refs. Waltrin doesn't care, as he kills McKinney, Costanza and Spigel. Pospich is next, and Sommers goes out quickly for the 5-0 sweep (Tied, 1-1)

Round 3 - The Dead Man Walking are Costanza and Benedetto, who Kel is already not liking because he just likes to pummel things. Could there be a rift forming here? Maybe with Waltrin and Rice, as he faults out amd Spigel takes out Waltrin. Fenderbosch catches McKinney's shot and Benedetto eliminates Sommers and Spigel, so Costanza has to play offense. He does by grabbing the balls and pulling what Benedetto did earlier, taking out Fenderbosch. He gets rid of Zingale and Benedetto, appropriately nailing him in the balls, as the move was a pain in the balls, as the CPA's stay undefeated. (CPA's win, 2-0). Everyone still isn't happy by it, as Selwyn says that there will be a rule change - "'Next year, there will be no balls" Heh. I'm still not sure if Benedetto has any feeling returning to his balls...

Player of the week nominations - Green, Benedetto, Costanza. Costanza (47%) is in first, followed by Benedetto (27%) and Green (26%). At least they got the percentages right this week.

Epilogue - Right after the taping the refs had a meeting. Out of the best interests of the game, the refs decide that the move that Benedetto made was illegal, and installed a rule that any time to impede the flow of the game, including forcing a delay of the game, will get a yellow card. Two yellows is a red, and that gets you out of the match. This will be known as the 'Benedetto Rule'. Well, it's not unusual to see a Swamp Donkey act like a jackass.

With that out of the way... Standings, Please!

CLASSIC DIVISION
CPA: Certified Public Assassins 2-0
Armed Response 1-1
Ink Inc. 1-1
Barbell Mafia 0-1
EXPANSION DIVISION
Bling 1-1
Delta Force 1-1
MAD: Mutually Assured Destruction 1-1
Reef Sharks 1-1

Next week, we start intra-league play as we see the first result of Classic Vs. Expansion. Join us, won't you?

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