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Us! |
You either loved it or hated it
growing up, but now in the 21st Century, the scourge of gym
class has come back for a brand new season of red balls flying
and lame ballers dying!
Follow the road to the
championship in our Extreme Dodgeball
Skybox!
Recaps by Gordon "Red Hot" Pepper, GSNN |
FACT FILE:
Host:
Bil Dwyer, Zach Selwyn, Mary Strong
Creator: Rich Cronin
EP: Mark Cronin, James Rowley
Packager: Mindless Entertainment, GSN Originals
Airs: Thursdays at 10:00pm ET on GSN |
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GAMESHOWNEWSNET.COM. All rights reserved.
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Week 5 - November 11
The old adage is, "what doesn't kill you makes you
stronger." CPA's first loss in the league didn't kill
them, but it didn't make them very happy, either. We'll
see if it makes them stronger, and if the team that they
face this week - the Reef Sharks - will be paying for
the loss.
Match #1 - CPA's (3-1) Vs. Reef Sharks (2-2)
Certified Public Assassins -
Tobias McKinney (6'5, 130, 51 MPH) - 6 kills on
the season - but only one in the last 2 matches.
Michael 'Handsome' Costanza - He's up to 11 kills
- but he may want some help from McKinney.
Art 'Artful Dodger' Spigel - 5'9", 175, 46 MPH.
He has plenty of help from Spigel, who has 9 kills, 2
catches and 3 regens.
Mandy Sommers - Last year, the 5'5" player had 12
catches. This year - 1. She has to step it up.
Natasha Pospich - She's 5'7", 135 and a former
tennis pro, but she has no kills, 1 catch, and a wrist
injury
Reef Sharks -
Mark Pontius - He's getting up there in numbers -
in addition to his 50 mph, he has 7 kills and 2 catches.
Mark Long - He's 6'3", 205 and throws up to 50
mph. Here's your potential rookie of the year - a
league-leading 16 kills this season - two of them game
winners.
Chris Bullis - Another new guy (6'2", 200, 43
MPH). With 6 kills and 4 catches, he's hanging in there.
Amy Wiseman - 5'6", 125, 36 MPH She has 4 kills
and 2 catches so far.
Melanie Thomas - 5'4", 125, 26 MPH - she has one
regen and one catch - which gives her as many catches as
Sommers, who should be ashamed of that.
Round 1 - Pospich goes out quickly, but the CPAs counter
it by eliminating Pontius. Long faults out and Thomas
gets bagged. SPigel catches Bullis's throw and only
Wiseman is left. She does regen and we are back to full
strength for both squads. Costanza and Pontius are
quickly toast and McKinney's throw is caught. Spigel
catches a shot from Wiseman, which brings back Costanza,
but Spigel's throw is caught and he is out. Pospich is
out again, but Bullis and Long get tagged by Costanza,
who completes the trifecta by tagging out Thomas and the
CPA's take the early lead. (CPA's lead, 1-0).
Round 2 - Thomas is the first one gone, and the Sharks
counter by taking out Pospich. Costanza eliminates Long,
but he and McKinney get picked off by Pontius. Bullis
finally gets rid of Spigel, leaving Sommers, who gets to
regen. On the way back in, Pospich and Costanza get
tagged and McKinney's throw is caught. Sommers can't
catch anything this season and she is out, which leaves
only Spigel. He goes for a throw, and while he's doing
that, Wiseman sneaks up on him and nails him with the
Big Ball (Tied 1-1).
Round 3 - the DMW are Wiseman (her first time) - and
Spigel, who also wears it for the first time (and since
he has had 3 regens, is a smart move. It's also a smart
move to have the DMW covered, which the sharks do, but
they seem to forget that you have to throw a ball to
take the other team out. Long and Pontius are taken out,
and while they do eliminate Sommers and Pospich, the men
eliminate Thomas and Bullis, leaving Wiseman. She regens
and hits Costanza, but McKinney catches Long's shot and
eliminates Bullis and Thomas. That forces Pontius to no
longer cover Wiseman, and McKinney makes them pay by
tagging Wiseman and ending the game (CPA's win, 2-1).
McKinney finally shows up for a match and the CPA's may
be deadlier than ever.
The Inksters defeated the best team in the league - they
should be able to continue their run by beating the
second worst team in the league, right?
Match #2 - Ink Inc. (3-1) Vs. M.A.D. (1-3)
Mutually Assured Destruction -
Gary 'Spaz' Davis - 5'11", 165, 43MPH - The
captain has 10 kills and 2 catches, good numbers for a
team leader.
Tarone Cathcart - 6'1", 180, 41MPH - has 4 kills
and 3 catches - none of which happened after week #1.
Marie Philman - 5'10", 180, 48MPH - She hash 2
kills and 4 catches, but only 1 catch since week #1.
Mark Vannorden - 5'10", 167, 39 MPH - The stats
say it all - 1 Kill, 1 Catch, 1 virus
Anna Bartsch - 5'4", 160, 35MPH - she has the
best stats with 4 kills, 2 catches and 2 regenerations.
Now if only she can find a real team...
Ink Inc -
Ben 'Psycho' Toth - 5'11", 150, 48 MPH - He's the
captain, and he has 8 Kills and 2 catches so far
Shaun 'Hitman' Hauser - 5'1"0, 215, 45MPH - He is
up to 6 kills, 3 of those game-winners.
Strati Hovartez - 6'0", 180, 59MPH - Leads the
team with 7 kills while getting 3 catches - maybe a
rookie of the year candidate?
Kim Estrada - 5'9". 125. 37MPH - She was on the
Curves of Steel. She's no longer there, but she does
have...curves - and 1 kill and 1 catch. Heh heh heh...
'Scary' Kari Richardson - 5'8", 135, 31 MPH -
What's scary is that she has done nothing of redeemable
value yet.
Round 1 - The Inksters continue their aggressiveness by
knocking off Vannordern and Cathcart quite early. The
Madsters knock off Hauser, and Bartsch's catch of Toth's
ball seems to turn the tide. Estrada's catch is also
caught, and Vannorden's return is good as he takes out
Hovartez for the surprising 5-0 shutout (MAD leads, 1-0)
Round 2 - Cathcart and Toth both foul out, and Vannorden
and Estrada also leave early. Toth catches both Bartsch
and Davis's shots, and Philman gets taken out by a
returning Toth for the 5-0 Ink victory. Sort of like a
mirror image of the first round (Tied, 1-1)
Round 3 - The DMW and Davis and Toth. Cathcart
eliminates Hovartez, but Philman and Estrada both fault
out. Hauser is out on a Simulthrow and Estrada's throw
is caught, leaving the dead man all alone. Cathcart has
an unsuccessful suicide kill, and that brings back all
of the Inksters. ON the way back, Richardson and
Hovartez get pegged by Vannorden, and Hauser's throw is
caught by Bartsch, who may be the new Mandy Sommers.
Estrada is tagged out by Philman and that leaves Toth
all alone. Toth tries to do it by himself, but his throw
is caught by Vannorden and MAD may have turned the
corner (MAD wins, 2-1)
On the ensuing interview, Toth tells us that this is one
of the greatest upsets of Extreme Dodgeball Season 2.
Well, the CPA's can handle success - and Inksters,
apparently, less so, as they blow a huge opportunity to
go after the lead in the Classic Division.
Can Armed Response capitalize? They can if they strip
The Bling.
Match #3 - Armed Response (3-1) Vs. The Bling (2-2)
Armed Response -
David Benedetto - 48MPH - 15 Kills, 0 Catches,
Still a Swamp Donkey
Kel Watrin - 61 MPH - Fastest in the league, and
deadly with 13 kills (4 game winners) and 2 catches
David Rice - 44 MPH - 8 Kills, 4 Catches, and
finally has woken up
Nicole Zingale - 38 MPH - 1 Kill, 3 Catches. But
hey she's better than...
Tanya Fenderbosch - 34MPH - 0 Kills, 0 Catches.
At least Michelle Manu screamed a lot and did something.
Imagine what they would be like if they got support...
The Bling -
Portis Hershey - 48MPH - 1 Catch, 4 Kills, and no
haircut for the Crazy Chinchilla
Frank Frisoli - 59MPH - 11 Kills, 1 Game Winner,
2 catches and Big Bling on Campus
Adam Ullberg - 50MPH - 5 Kills, 1 Catch
Mia Parlor - 6 Kills, 1 Catch, 1 regeneration -
She has the best female stats in the league as the
ladies on this team can work it...
Alvina Carroll - 33 MPH ...well, Parlor can.
Carroll has yet to get on the board.
Round 1 - Benedetto takes first blood by getting rid of
Carroll, and Fenderbosch FINALLY gets a stat, catching
Frisoli's shot. Kel catches Portis's shot, which leaves
the Blingers down to 2. They take out Rice and
Benedetto's suicide kill misses, which now leaves Kel
and the ladies against a full Bling squad. Watrin gets
beaned by Frisoli and Fenderbosch gets tagged, so
ZIngale now has to stay alive for 20 seconds. Parlor's
suicide kill connects and Benedetto, by taking himself
out of a match with his bad suicide kill, once again
costs his team a game (Bling leads, 1-0)
It's Beyond the Ball with Kel Watrin, who works as a
nightclub bouncer for the IVAR. Well, that keeps the
theme going for Armed Response. He takes his frustration
for the people who annoy him out on the Dodgeball
Players, adding that he wants them to check off the
court.
Round 2 - Watrin wants to take out his frustration out
on losing the first game, but it's Benedetto with the
first kill on Parlor. Frisoli eliminates Rice with the
Big Ball, but Kel takes out Carroll. Ullberg is out from
Watrin, but Frisoli takes out the Animal. Frisoli gets
checked out by Watrin, but gets checked back in by The
Crazy Chinchilla as the team regens. Frisoli gets
rechecked out by Watrin, but gets rechecked back in when
Carroll (who also FINALLY gets on the board) catches
Fenderbosch's throw. Ullberg finally eliminates Watrin,
which leaves Zingale all alone. Parlor's suicide kill
doesn't work this time, and the Response get to
regenerate. The Blingers were waiting for them to regen,
and a surprise unleashing of balls to the returning
players take out Benedetto, Watrin and Fenderbosch while
Rice's throw is caught by Ullberg. That leaves Ullberg
and Hershey against Zingale. Portis faults out, but
Ullberg throws a shot that Zingale can't catch, and the
Blingers get the win (The Bling win, 2-0).
There is no whining from the Response, but they also
blow a chance to move into first. The Delta Force can
move into first in the expansion division - all they
have to do is to keep a winless Barbell Mafia squad
winless.
Match #4 - Delta Force (2-2) Vs. Barbell Mafia (0-4)
Delta Force
Paul 'Rambo' Green - A former player in the NFL -
6'3, 215, 60 MPH - and he can turn his eyeballs inside
out. Plus he has 15 kills. That's one SCARY dude.
Geoff Meed - A former professional jujitsu
martial artist. 5'10", 177, 44 MPH. Not as scary as
Green - but still scary.
Bobby Roe - A former college baseball player.
6'5", 235, 48MPH. He's another big boy.
Lisa Marshall - She's not 6', but at 5'10, 170
and 36MPH, she's another built player.
Linda Overheu - 5'9", 130, 38MPH.
Barbell Mafia -
Jeramy Freeman - 6'0", 290, 47 MPH - He can bench
a car - but hasn't benched any kills or catches yet.
Yikers.
Tyrone Rush - 6'0", 200, 55 MPH - leads the
league with 11 kills. He has 2 catches, too.
Alan Grimes - 5'"10, 360, 45 MPH - No kills, no
catches, leads the league in foot faults.
Melissa Coates - The blonde bodybuilder is 5'5",
150 and 37 MPH. She has yet to register a stat this
season, though
Vanessa 'Scorpion' Altman -At 5'9", 155 and a 31
MPH shot, she also has no stats. Where's Amazon Beard
when you need her?
Rush says that every day is do or die - and he is right,
since they can't afford to lose any more games. In Round
1, Rush catches Overheu's shot, then takes out Roe. He
catches Green's kill and throws out Marshall. Rush is a
one man wrecking crew - and Grimes FINALLY gets a kill
by taking out Green. (Mafia lead, 1-0)
Round 2 - Rush gets taken out first, which means that
his team has to step up and do something. Grimes does by
taking out Overheu, but Freeman and Altman and Coates
just get picked off and Grimes goes all shortly after.
So much for Rush's great supporting cast. (Tied, 1-1)
Round 3 - The DMW are Rush (who takes the responsibility
from Grimes) and Marshall. Altman faults, but is brought
back in as Grimes catches a shot from Green. Roe gets
tagged out, but Green catches a shot and Altman gets
tagged out. Green is tagged by Rush and it's down to
Delta's two ladies. Marshall makes a fatal error by
throwing the ball - as Rush catches her shot and the
Mafia FINALLY win (Mafia wins, 2-1). Rush dedicates the
win to his teammates, who finally sort-of showed up this
game.
Who is the player of the week? Costanza, Vannorden or
Wiseman? My vote is for Rush, who carried his team to
their first win, but the producers don't consider him.
They consider Costanza the overwhelming winner with 69%
(Vs. 18% for Vanorden and 15% with Wiseman).
We also consider that the CPAs are the only team with
the higher record to win today, and that creates a mess
in the standings. Let's consider this -
CLASSIC DIVISION |
CPA:
Certified Public Assassins |
4-1 |
Armed
Response |
3-2 |
Ink
Inc. |
3-2 |
Barbell
Mafia |
1-4 |
EXPANSION DIVISION |
Bling |
3-2 |
Delta
Force |
2-3 |
Reef
Sharks |
2-3 |
MAD:
Mutually Assured Destruction |
2-3 |
Next week - more balls,
more eliminations, and more league play. Join us in 7
days to see if the CPAs and the Blingers can hold on to
their first place positions.
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Previous Episodes
October 14
October 21
October 28
November 4
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