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You either loved it or hated it growing up, but now in the 21st Century, the scourge of gym class has come back for a brand new season of red balls flying and lame ballers dying!

Follow the road to the championship in our Extreme Dodgeball Skybox!

Recaps by Gordon "Red Hot" Pepper, GSNN


FACT FILE:
Host: Bil Dwyer, Zach Selwyn, Mary Strong
Creator: Rich Cronin
EP: Mark Cronin, James Rowley
Packager: Mindless Entertainment, GSN Originals
Airs: Thursdays at 10:00pm ET on GSN


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Week 5 - November 11

The old adage is, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." CPA's first loss in the league didn't kill them, but it didn't make them very happy, either. We'll see if it makes them stronger, and if the team that they face this week - the Reef Sharks - will be paying for the loss.

Match #1 - CPA's (3-1) Vs. Reef Sharks (2-2)

Certified Public Assassins -
Tobias McKinney (6'5, 130, 51 MPH) - 6 kills on the season - but only one in the last 2 matches.
Michael 'Handsome' Costanza - He's up to 11 kills - but he may want some help from McKinney.
Art 'Artful Dodger' Spigel - 5'9", 175, 46 MPH. He has plenty of help from Spigel, who has 9 kills, 2 catches and 3 regens.
Mandy Sommers - Last year, the 5'5" player had 12 catches. This year - 1. She has to step it up.
Natasha Pospich - She's 5'7", 135 and a former tennis pro, but she has no kills, 1 catch, and a wrist injury

Reef Sharks -
Mark Pontius - He's getting up there in numbers - in addition to his 50 mph, he has 7 kills and 2 catches.
Mark Long - He's 6'3", 205 and throws up to 50 mph. Here's your potential rookie of the year - a league-leading 16 kills this season - two of them game winners.
Chris Bullis - Another new guy (6'2", 200, 43 MPH). With 6 kills and 4 catches, he's hanging in there.
Amy Wiseman - 5'6", 125, 36 MPH She has 4 kills and 2 catches so far.
Melanie Thomas - 5'4", 125, 26 MPH - she has one regen and one catch - which gives her as many catches as Sommers, who should be ashamed of that.

Round 1 - Pospich goes out quickly, but the CPAs counter it by eliminating Pontius. Long faults out and Thomas gets bagged. SPigel catches Bullis's throw and only Wiseman is left. She does regen and we are back to full strength for both squads. Costanza and Pontius are quickly toast and McKinney's throw is caught. Spigel catches a shot from Wiseman, which brings back Costanza, but Spigel's throw is caught and he is out. Pospich is out again, but Bullis and Long get tagged by Costanza, who completes the trifecta by tagging out Thomas and the CPA's take the early lead. (CPA's lead, 1-0).

Round 2 - Thomas is the first one gone, and the Sharks counter by taking out Pospich. Costanza eliminates Long, but he and McKinney get picked off by Pontius. Bullis finally gets rid of Spigel, leaving Sommers, who gets to regen. On the way back in, Pospich and Costanza get tagged and McKinney's throw is caught. Sommers can't catch anything this season and she is out, which leaves only Spigel. He goes for a throw, and while he's doing that, Wiseman sneaks up on him and nails him with the Big Ball (Tied 1-1).

Round 3 - the DMW are Wiseman (her first time) - and Spigel, who also wears it for the first time (and since he has had 3 regens, is a smart move. It's also a smart move to have the DMW covered, which the sharks do, but they seem to forget that you have to throw a ball to take the other team out. Long and Pontius are taken out, and while they do eliminate Sommers and Pospich, the men eliminate Thomas and Bullis, leaving Wiseman. She regens and hits Costanza, but McKinney catches Long's shot and eliminates Bullis and Thomas. That forces Pontius to no longer cover Wiseman, and McKinney makes them pay by tagging Wiseman and ending the game (CPA's win, 2-1). McKinney finally shows up for a match and the CPA's may be deadlier than ever.

The Inksters defeated the best team in the league - they should be able to continue their run by beating the second worst team in the league, right?

Match #2 - Ink Inc. (3-1) Vs. M.A.D. (1-3)

Mutually Assured Destruction -
Gary 'Spaz' Davis - 5'11", 165, 43MPH - The captain has 10 kills and 2 catches, good numbers for a team leader.
Tarone Cathcart - 6'1", 180, 41MPH - has 4 kills and 3 catches - none of which happened after week #1.
Marie Philman - 5'10", 180, 48MPH - She hash 2 kills and 4 catches, but only 1 catch since week #1.
Mark Vannorden - 5'10", 167, 39 MPH - The stats say it all - 1 Kill, 1 Catch, 1 virus
Anna Bartsch - 5'4", 160, 35MPH - she has the best stats with 4 kills, 2 catches and 2 regenerations. Now if only she can find a real team...

Ink Inc -
Ben 'Psycho' Toth - 5'11", 150, 48 MPH - He's the captain, and he has 8 Kills and 2 catches so far
Shaun 'Hitman' Hauser - 5'1"0, 215, 45MPH - He is up to 6 kills, 3 of those game-winners.
Strati Hovartez - 6'0", 180, 59MPH - Leads the team with 7 kills while getting 3 catches - maybe a rookie of the year candidate?
Kim Estrada - 5'9". 125. 37MPH - She was on the Curves of Steel. She's no longer there, but she does have...curves - and 1 kill and 1 catch. Heh heh heh...
'Scary' Kari Richardson - 5'8", 135, 31 MPH - What's scary is that she has done nothing of redeemable value yet.

Round 1 - The Inksters continue their aggressiveness by knocking off Vannordern and Cathcart quite early. The Madsters knock off Hauser, and Bartsch's catch of Toth's ball seems to turn the tide. Estrada's catch is also caught, and Vannorden's return is good as he takes out Hovartez for the surprising 5-0 shutout (MAD leads, 1-0)

Round 2 - Cathcart and Toth both foul out, and Vannorden and Estrada also leave early. Toth catches both Bartsch and Davis's shots, and Philman gets taken out by a returning Toth for the 5-0 Ink victory. Sort of like a mirror image of the first round (Tied, 1-1)

Round 3 - The DMW and Davis and Toth. Cathcart eliminates Hovartez, but Philman and Estrada both fault out. Hauser is out on a Simulthrow and Estrada's throw is caught, leaving the dead man all alone. Cathcart has an unsuccessful suicide kill, and that brings back all of the Inksters. ON the way back, Richardson and Hovartez get pegged by Vannorden, and Hauser's throw is caught by Bartsch, who may be the new Mandy Sommers. Estrada is tagged out by Philman and that leaves Toth all alone. Toth tries to do it by himself, but his throw is caught by Vannorden and MAD may have turned the corner (MAD wins, 2-1)

On the ensuing interview, Toth tells us that this is one of the greatest upsets of Extreme Dodgeball Season 2. Well, the CPA's can handle success - and Inksters, apparently, less so, as they blow a huge opportunity to go after the lead in the Classic Division.

Can Armed Response capitalize? They can if they strip The Bling.

Match #3 - Armed Response (3-1) Vs. The Bling (2-2)

Armed Response -
David Benedetto - 48MPH - 15 Kills, 0 Catches, Still a Swamp Donkey
Kel Watrin - 61 MPH - Fastest in the league, and deadly with 13 kills (4 game winners) and 2 catches
David Rice - 44 MPH - 8 Kills, 4 Catches, and finally has woken up
Nicole Zingale - 38 MPH - 1 Kill, 3 Catches. But hey she's better than...
Tanya Fenderbosch - 34MPH - 0 Kills, 0 Catches. At least Michelle Manu screamed a lot and did something. Imagine what they would be like if they got support...

The Bling -
Portis Hershey - 48MPH - 1 Catch, 4 Kills, and no haircut for the Crazy Chinchilla
Frank Frisoli - 59MPH - 11 Kills, 1 Game Winner, 2 catches and Big Bling on Campus
Adam Ullberg - 50MPH - 5 Kills, 1 Catch
Mia Parlor - 6 Kills, 1 Catch, 1 regeneration - She has the best female stats in the league as the ladies on this team can work it...
Alvina Carroll - 33 MPH ...well, Parlor can. Carroll has yet to get on the board.

Round 1 - Benedetto takes first blood by getting rid of Carroll, and Fenderbosch FINALLY gets a stat, catching Frisoli's shot. Kel catches Portis's shot, which leaves the Blingers down to 2. They take out Rice and Benedetto's suicide kill misses, which now leaves Kel and the ladies against a full Bling squad. Watrin gets beaned by Frisoli and Fenderbosch gets tagged, so ZIngale now has to stay alive for 20 seconds. Parlor's suicide kill connects and Benedetto, by taking himself out of a match with his bad suicide kill, once again costs his team a game (Bling leads, 1-0)

It's Beyond the Ball with Kel Watrin, who works as a nightclub bouncer for the IVAR. Well, that keeps the theme going for Armed Response. He takes his frustration for the people who annoy him out on the Dodgeball Players, adding that he wants them to check off the court.

Round 2 - Watrin wants to take out his frustration out on losing the first game, but it's Benedetto with the first kill on Parlor. Frisoli eliminates Rice with the Big Ball, but Kel takes out Carroll. Ullberg is out from Watrin, but Frisoli takes out the Animal. Frisoli gets checked out by Watrin, but gets checked back in by The Crazy Chinchilla as the team regens. Frisoli gets rechecked out by Watrin, but gets rechecked back in when Carroll (who also FINALLY gets on the board) catches Fenderbosch's throw. Ullberg finally eliminates Watrin, which leaves Zingale all alone. Parlor's suicide kill doesn't work this time, and the Response get to regenerate. The Blingers were waiting for them to regen, and a surprise unleashing of balls to the returning players take out Benedetto, Watrin and Fenderbosch while Rice's throw is caught by Ullberg. That leaves Ullberg and Hershey against Zingale. Portis faults out, but Ullberg throws a shot that Zingale can't catch, and the Blingers get the win (The Bling win, 2-0).

There is no whining from the Response, but they also blow a chance to move into first. The Delta Force can move into first in the expansion division - all they have to do is to keep a winless Barbell Mafia squad winless.

Match #4 - Delta Force (2-2) Vs. Barbell Mafia (0-4)

Delta Force
Paul 'Rambo' Green - A former player in the NFL - 6'3, 215, 60 MPH - and he can turn his eyeballs inside out. Plus he has 15 kills. That's one SCARY dude.
Geoff Meed - A former professional jujitsu martial artist. 5'10", 177, 44 MPH. Not as scary as Green - but still scary.
Bobby Roe - A former college baseball player. 6'5", 235, 48MPH. He's another big boy.
Lisa Marshall - She's not 6', but at 5'10, 170 and 36MPH, she's another built player.
Linda Overheu - 5'9", 130, 38MPH.

Barbell Mafia -
Jeramy Freeman - 6'0", 290, 47 MPH - He can bench a car - but hasn't benched any kills or catches yet. Yikers.
Tyrone Rush - 6'0", 200, 55 MPH - leads the league with 11 kills. He has 2 catches, too.
Alan Grimes - 5'"10, 360, 45 MPH - No kills, no catches, leads the league in foot faults.
Melissa Coates - The blonde bodybuilder is 5'5", 150 and 37 MPH. She has yet to register a stat this season, though
Vanessa 'Scorpion' Altman -At 5'9", 155 and a 31 MPH shot, she also has no stats. Where's Amazon Beard when you need her?

Rush says that every day is do or die - and he is right, since they can't afford to lose any more games. In Round 1, Rush catches Overheu's shot, then takes out Roe. He catches Green's kill and throws out Marshall. Rush is a one man wrecking crew - and Grimes FINALLY gets a kill by taking out Green. (Mafia lead, 1-0)

Round 2 - Rush gets taken out first, which means that his team has to step up and do something. Grimes does by taking out Overheu, but Freeman and Altman and Coates just get picked off and Grimes goes all shortly after. So much for Rush's great supporting cast. (Tied, 1-1)

Round 3 - The DMW are Rush (who takes the responsibility from Grimes) and Marshall. Altman faults, but is brought back in as Grimes catches a shot from Green. Roe gets tagged out, but Green catches a shot and Altman gets tagged out. Green is tagged by Rush and it's down to Delta's two ladies. Marshall makes a fatal error by throwing the ball - as Rush catches her shot and the Mafia FINALLY win (Mafia wins, 2-1). Rush dedicates the win to his teammates, who finally sort-of showed up this game.

Who is the player of the week? Costanza, Vannorden or Wiseman? My vote is for Rush, who carried his team to their first win, but the producers don't consider him. They consider Costanza the overwhelming winner with 69% (Vs. 18% for Vanorden and 15% with Wiseman).

We also consider that the CPAs are the only team with the higher record to win today, and that creates a mess in the standings. Let's consider this -
 
CLASSIC DIVISION
CPA: Certified Public Assassins 4-1
Armed Response 3-2
Ink Inc. 3-2
Barbell Mafia 1-4
EXPANSION DIVISION
Bling 3-2
Delta Force 2-3
Reef Sharks 2-3
MAD: Mutually Assured Destruction 2-3

Next week - more balls, more eliminations, and more league play. Join us in 7 days to see if the CPAs and the Blingers can hold on to their first place positions.

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