Game Show NewsNet

Week 9 - December 16

The key this week is must-win. Everyone needs a win to either stay in first, move into first, or avoid being eliminated. For example, the Barbell Mafia is trailing Ink Inc. by 1 game for the last play-off spot with 1 game left. They need this one to have any chance of getting into the Playoffs. The Sharks need this one to clinch a post-season berth. Who needs it more?

Match #1 - Reef Sharks (4-4) Vs. Barbell Mafia (3-5)

Reef Sharks -
Mark Pontius - He's been sharking around with 19 kills and 12 catches with a 50 mph shot.
Mark Long - He's 6'3", 205 and throws up to 50 mph. He had 2 catches and 32 kills - 2 of them for game winners this season.
Chris Bullis - Another new guy (6'2", 200, 43 MPH) - with 15 kills and 7 catches to boot
Amy Wiseman - 5'6", 125, 36 MPH She has 14 kills as well as 4 regens. Sweet.
Melanie Thomas - 5'4", 125, 26 MPH - 1 catch, 1 regen, 1 surfboard.

Barbell Mafia -
Jeramy Freeman - 6'0", 290, 47 MPH - He can benchpress a car - but has only benchpressed 4 kills. Yikers.
Tyrone Rush - 6'0", 200, 55 MPH - has 28 kills. He has 10 catches, too.
Alan Grimes - 5'"10, 360, 45 MPH - 10 kills, 3 catches, leads the league in foot faults.
Melissa Coates - The blonde bodybuilder is 5'5", 150 and 37 MPH. She has yet to register a stat this season, though she has 1 regen (which doesn't really count as a stat)
Vanessa 'Scorpion' Altman - Still 5'9", 155 and a 31 MPH shot... and still no stats.

Round 1 - Freeman actually gets something done, as he knocks out Pontius, but Long nails Rush, Grimes and Coates out in one play. Freeman is next, but Altman finally does something and regens the whole team. Way to get on the scoreboard, Vanessa. The joy is short lived, as Ruch faults out. Grimes does get rid of Long and Bullis, but Thomas catches Freeman's shot, which brings in Freeman who takes out Grimes. The Barbell women are left, and Pontius dispatches both of them rather quickly. (Sharks lead, 1-0).

Round 2 - Rush catches a shot from Pontius, and Thomas and Long get simulkilled out. Wiseman turns the tide with a catch that knocks out Rush and brings back Pontius. Grimes needs to support the team, but Pontius takes out Grimes and Freeman, which leaves the ladies. Make it lady when Altman is tagged, and make it no one when Coates feels the sting of a Pontius-propelled ball. (Sharks win, 2-0)

We go Beyond the Ball with the Melanie Thomas of Reef Sharks. Thomas is a PE Teacher who teaches dodgeball to the kids. She says that the key is to get the kids excited to play - and then you'll play. Throwing rubber balls at people that you despised when you were 12 would get me excited to play, too.

Someone else excited? the CPA, who are very steamed and now tied thanks to last week's loss. Their opponents? A M.A.D. squad who must win this game in order to make the playoffs. I don't think they are going to get that needed win here.

Match #2 - CPA's (5-3) Vs. M.A.D. (2-6)

Certified Public Assassins -
Tobias McKinney (6'5, 130, 51 MPH) - 18 kills and 5 catches on the season - but only 2 in the last 3 matches.
Michael 'Handsome' Costanza - He's up to 28 kills (and 6 game winners) - but he may want some help from McKinney.
Art 'Artful Dodger' Spigel - 5'9", 175, 46 MPH. He has plenty of help from Spigel, who has 15 kills, 3 catches and 5 regens
Mandy Sommers - Last year, the 5'5" player had 12 catches. This year - 7. She has to step it up
Natasha Pospich - She's 5'7", 135 and a former tennis pro, but she has 1 kill, 1 catch, and a wrist injury.

Mutually Assured Destruction -
Gary 'Spaz' Davis - 5'11", 165, 43MPH - The captain has 16 kills and 2 catches, not good numbers for a team leader.
Tarone Cathcart - 6'1", 180, 41MPH - has 12 kills and 3 catches - none of which happened after week #1.
Marie Philman - 5'10", 180, 48MPH - She hash 9 kills and 5 catches, keeping up with Bartsch.
Mark Vannorden - 5'10", 167, 39 MPH - The stats say it all - 8 Kills, 1 Catch, 1 virus
Anna Bartsch - 5'4", 160, 35MPH - she has 7 kills, 5 catches and 2 regenerations. Now if only she can find a real team...

Round 1 - Some trickery by MAD gets rid of McKinney, but Costanza gets mad and knocks off Davis. He goes for Bartsch - but she catches it and brings back Davis. Cathcart leaves, but Vannorden brings him back thanks to his catch of Spigel, and Sommers throw gets caught as well. That leaves Pospich, who gets taken out with a suicide kill from Cathcart (MAD leads, 1-0) Could MAD get the huge upset?

Round 2 - Maybe they will, as MAD does the same thing by McKinney and Costanza gets pegged. McKinney comes back in thanks to a Sommers catch, but Davis takes out everyone until Spigel is left. He does regen the team and they take out the MAD women. That leaves Davis, who regens the team, but Philbin leaves thanks to an incoming big ball. McKinney is out, but Costanza turns into a 1 man wrecking crew and picks off the MADsters 1 by 1, until Bartsch is the last to go (Tied, 1-1).

Round 3 - Your DMW's are Spigel and Davis, and Davis takes out Pospich. McKinney gets a catch, but at the expens of Sommers, while Cathicart takes himself out of the game with a bad suicide kill. Pospich takes a suicide walk while VanNorden goes for another suicide kill. The CPA's regen, but a few catches later, it's Spigel all alone against all of M.A.D. Can Spigel win by himself? He takes out Cathcart, and a catch from a Philbin throw brings back Costanza, who gets VanNorden out of bounds. Bartsch's throw gets caught by Costanza, and it's Davis who has to survive 20 seconds. He does, and the returning Cathicart goes bye-bye. Another Bartsch throw gets caught by Costanza, and McKinney comes back. Philbin and Vannorden go bye-bye, and Spaz is all alone. He gets a catch, and it's now Davis/Cathcart Vs. Costanza/Spigel. Cathcart tries ANOTHER suicide kill, and he misses. Davis takes out Costanza, and it's down to Daiv Vs. Spigel. Davis misses a shot on Spigel, but on the way to get the rebound, Spigel gets it first and tags out Davis for the CPA win (CPA's win, 2-1). That was a nice match - but nice doesn't help out the MADs, as they are now officially eliminated from playoff contention.

The CPA's get the win, which means that Armed Response DESPERATELY needs the win to stay in pace with them. Meanwhile, Delta Force DESPERATELY needs the win to stay in line with Bling. Who is more DESPERATE?

Match 3 - Armed Response (5-3) Vs. Delta Force (4-4)

Armed Response -
David Benedetto - 48MPH - 30 Kills, 3 Catches, Still a Swamp Donkey
Danno 'Kamikaze' Kingman - Still replacing the injured Kel Watrin, 3 kills, 1 catch, and a rookie.
David Rice - 44 MPH - 18 Kills, 7 Catches, and finally has woken up
Nicole Zingale - 38 MPH - 2 Kills, 6 Catches. But hey she's better than...
Tanya Fenderbosch - 34MPH - 1 Kill, 2 Catches.

Delta Force
Paul 'Rambo' Green - A former player in the NFL - 6'3, 215, 60 MPH - and he can turn his eyeballs inside out. Plus he has 27 kills and 5 catches.
Bobby Roe - A former college baseball player. 6'5", 235, 48MPH. He's another big boy, with 27 kills and 4 catches..
Geoff Meed - A former professional Jujitsu Martial Artist. 5'10", 177, 44 MPH, Not as scary as Green with only 4 kills and 2 catch - but still scary.
Lisa Marshall - She's not 6', but at 5'10, 170 and 36MPH, she's another built player. She has 7 kills, 2 regens and 2 catch.
Linda Overheu - 5'9", 130, 38MPH. At last, someone who I can't accuse of bulking up - but she has 3 kills, 3 catches and 1 regen. Can she cowboy up?

Round 1 - Roe takes out Benedetto and Zingale in one shot. Marshall takes out Kingman. Mead takes out Rice and Fenderbosch for the 5-0 shutout. That was easy. (Force leads, 1-0).

Round 2 - Rice goes out - and Mead faults out, making him the first Delta to be elimiinated. Green gets rid of Zingale and Benedetto in another double kill, and Fenderbosch finds her end thanks to Green. Kingman does regen the team, and they get mad. Benedetto picks all of them off except for Roe, who gets knocked out by Rice. (Tied, 1-1)

Round 3 - The dead people walking are Kingman and Marshall. Benedetto continues what he did in the last round by taking out Roe and catching on Overheu shot. Green takes out Zingale, Rice and Fenderbosch, but Mead gets out, leaving Benedetto and Kingman Vs. Green and Marshall. Green forces Benedetto to drop his ball eliminating him - and then taking the rebound to wipe out Kingman for the victory. (Force wins, 2-1). The Response are now 1 game behind the CPA, while the Force will be tied with Bling, should they falter to the Inksters...

Match #4 - Ink Inc (4-4) Vs. Bling (5-3)

Ink Inc -
Ben 'Psycho' Toth - 5'11", 150, 48 MPH - He's the captain, and he has 14 Kills and 4 catches so far.
Shaun 'Hitman' Hauser - 5'1"0, 215, 45MPH - He is up to 14 kills, 4 of those game-winners.
Strati Hovartez - 6'0", 180, 59MPH - Leads the team with 20 kills while getting 4 catches - maybe a rookie of the year candidate?
Kim Estrada - 5'9". 125. 37MPH - She was on the Curves of Steel. She's no longer there, but she does have...curves - and 1 kill and 6 catches. Heh heh heh...
'Scary' Kari Richardson - 5'8", 135, 31 MPH - What's scary is that she has 3 catches - but no kills.

The Bling -
Portis Hershey - 48MPH - The Chinchilla has been a little crazy with 2 Catches, 9 Kills, and two regens.
Frank Frisoli - 59MPH - He's been the main guy with 29 Kills, 4 Game Winners and 2 catches
Adam Ullberg - 50MPH - He's been the true sidekick with 21 Kills, 4 Catches
Mia Parlor - 7 Kills, 1 Catch, 1 regeneration - She calls herself the female Kobe Bryant...
Alvina Carroll - 33 MPH ...which makes her the female Dennis Rodman, though she does have 1 kill and 3 catches.

The Inksters can't beat losing teams - but they don't lose to winning teams, so they should win this one. We'll see if I'm right as we get to...Round 1, as Hauser faults out. Toth joins him as his throw is caught by Frisoli. Strati is next, and the Lady Inksters remain. Estrada is out on a simulthrow and Frisoli eliminates Richardson as Bling gets an easy 5-0 win (Bling leads, 1-0).

Round 2 - Richardson gets taken out early, but the Chinchilla joins her. Carroll's shot gets caught by Hovartez and Frisoli leaves due to a shot from Hauser. That leaves Parlor, but she regens the team as Horvartez and Frisoli take each other out. Hauser and Ullberg also go out while Hershey faults out. Parlor is left as Estrada suicides walks out. That's a smart move, because that leaves Toth and Parlor, who has no choice but to let Toth regen the team. She has no chance against a 5 on 1 and Hauser finishes her off (Tied, 1-1).

Round 3 - The DMW are Carroll and Toth. This one doesn't last too long, as a Hauser throw from a Simulthrow finds his mark and eliminates Carroll. The Inksters do win (Ink wins, 2-1), which makes the standings interesting. How interesting? This interesting -

CLASSIC DIVISION
CPA: Certified Public Assassins	6-3
Armed Response	5-4
Ink Inc.	5-4
Barbell Mafia - ELIMINATED	3-6
EXPANSION DIVISION
Bling	5-4
Delta Force	5-4
Reef Sharks	5-4
MAD: Mutually Assured Destruction - ELIMINATED	2-7

Who gets the player of the week? Spigel? Not at 24%. Hovartez? Not at 35%. It must be Green - and it is, at 41%.

Well, this week had our lineups set, as both the Mafia and the MADsters get eliminated. Next week - We see who wins the divisions - and who has to play each other in the wild card.