August 27, 2005

Gordon: At least it's not Fear Factor Pizza.
Jason: That was gross...you should have at least tried out for the show :P
Chico: Which would be meat, cheese, crust, and grease... but WAIT A MINUTE!!!
Mike: Now I'm hungry...
Gordon/Jason: THERE'S ONE.... MORE.... THING!!!!
Chico: BUGS!
Gordon: Don't forget the rotten fish parts.
Mike: Mmm mmm mmmmmm. So when is the post-WLTI brunch?
Chico: And the original tapes of Malcolm.
Mike: Don't mock Malcolm or else you might get a copy of it next year.
Chico: O_O
Gordon: I have a copy of Malcolm. I liked it.
Mike: Just ask Ryan and Jason, each of whom got a copy of it this year.
Chico: I didn't say it was bad. I just said it was scary.
Mike: We should play Malcolm next year. We can make a foam costume for Gordon. Oh the possibilities.
Gordon: I'll be Malcolm -)
Chico: Gordon, are you prepared ... to be Malcolm?
Gordon: I am prepared.
Jason: He was a good laughing man.
Gordon: It would be a good preparation for a TRATO HECHO costume.
Chico: I still can't believe I beat Dave Legler in Remote Control.
Jason: SUERTE! SUERTE!
Chico: On that note... Jackets!
Jason: (tosses the jackets)
Chico: Doppler!
Jason: Here we go! Cue the Music!
Chico: Music!
Mike: Someone call Travis to fire up the Doppler.
Chico: Calling Travis... Loading mice.
Gordon: Believe it or not, while we were out, events DID happen in the game show world. I'm sure you are all shocked by that.
Jason: Life doesn't stop in the game show world.
Mike: It does when there's a 28" pizza in the hotel
Gordon: Roll that beautiful Brain Footage!

(Move Closer plays, From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is Brainvision News with Chico Alexander, Jason Block, Gordon Pepper, and the award-winning Brainvision News team)

Jason: Since we have two weeks of news to catch up on...lets do it quick.
Chico: Well, we've got the time so we're going to. First brainwave, Gordon?
Gordon: We start with a rehashing of current events.

As expected, ESPN loses the NHL rights to OLN, setting up the needs for more game shows for the sports network. Also as expected, the Writer's Guild files suit against Fox reality shows, as they have been threatening to do so.

Jason: The Lawsuit could make things very interesting if the guild wins.
Chico: Well, you can expect a little less business from Rocket Science Laboratories, which have been named in the suit. As for ESPN... who's up for new ESPN Trivial Pursuit?
Gordon: Sure - if they change the format from the dreck we saw when they first debuted it.
Jason: I want more ESPN game shows. I want to play on something...maybe.
Chico: Maybe up against Kobayashi-san?
Mike: Bring back 2 Minute Drill. That show shouldn't have died so prematurely.
Chico: Agreed. What was ESPN thinking?
Jason: Not much apparently.
Gordon: Next brainwave, Chico?

The answer: November 8. Correct response: What is the release date for Jeopardy! on DVD?

Jason: What is...I am preordering that sucker.
Chico: Included in the pack are at least six episodes, including the first show from 1984, the coming (and going) of Ken Jennings, and the entire final of the UTOC.
Mike: Santa should know what'll be at the top of my wish list for this holiday season.
Gordon: That's what we call in the biz a 'collector's item'.
Chico: Yep. 150 minutes of pure quiz show bliss.
Gordon: Next one...

New shows and dates! Miss Seventeen (MTV's Version of Next Top Model) gets a September time slot, The Law Firm sets up shop (again) on August 30, Project Runway 2 gets going on December 7, Celebrity Pop Superstar shows up in the 4th quarter on VH1.

Gordon: Any of these shows seem promising?
Chico: Only Project Runway.
Jason: Agreed.
Chico: Because Heidi Klum is apparently superwoman.
Mike: I'd say none of the above.
Gordon: You don't want to see superstars singing?
Chico: If I want to see superstars singing, I'd watch Fuse.
Mike: Define "superstar". If it's Kathy Griffin, no.
Gordon: I can hear it now. Who wants to hear Jerri Manthey sing 'Survivor'?
Jason: RUN AWAY!
Chico: I think it's time to move on before we're corrupted further.
Jason: RUN AWAY NOW!
Chico: Next up... Who wants some Ultimate Fighter 2?
Jason: I do! I do!
Gordon: Me!
Chico: Apparently EVERYONE.

Monday's much-hyped second season premiere of the popular reality series Ultimate Fighter 2 drew 2.1 million viewers, up a whopping 23.53% from its first season debut in January (1.7 million on 1/17/05).

Chico: Now I recorded it and I can see why. It's definitely everything the Contender was supposed to be.
Gordon: Here's the fighting show you SHOULD be watching. No gimmicks, no hokey movie-making or music. This is what competition is all about.
Jason: And the fights kick major ass.
Chico: Now I've always said that the best games on television operate on a trifecta. If I may employ the Big Board...
Gordon: You may.

Chico: There are basically three components to a game show. The mechanics, the aesthetics, and the contestants. In order for a good game to work, all three must be in balance. TPIR... Jeopardy!... American Idol... Millionaire... Amazing Race... you get the hint.
Gordon: Yes we do.
Chico: This is why TUF worked. this is why TUF2 will be even better. I'm sure Mike can visualize a Venn diagram here.
Mike: I can. But can the rest of you? :-P
Chico: I knew you could... And for the record, yes I can. Square One geek... right here.
Gordon: lol
Chico: Hey, you hear Ludacris? It must be time for the Ho Report... ("Area Codes" plays).
Gordon: Who wants hos!
Mike: Show us your hoe, Gordon.
Gordon: Lots of Hos this week....

We start with HIP (Ho's In Progress) as we get the line-ups of the Apprentices, The Biggest Loser 2, Amazing Race Family Edition, and America's Next Top Model 5.

Chico: Technically not hoes yet. =p
Gordon: Correct. Now, for the more veteran hos...

Mario Vazquez inks a deal with Clive Davis, Singled Out's Jenny McCarthy files for divorce, Bo Bice has emergency surgery and has left the hospital, Survivor's Tom Westman gets a clothing contract from Caribbean Joe, Clay Aiken puts his CA house up for sale and moves back to NC, The Mrs. America competition will be hosted by John O'Hurley and Omarosa, Mark Burnett has created Burnett Records, with the first release being the Best of Rock Star (like we didn't see this coming), Kelly Monaco (who made an appearance on MAXIM) and John O'Hurley have a Dancing with the Stars Rematch in September and finally, Divorce Court's Judge Mabel Ephraim loses 70 pounds thanks to Celebrity Fit Club 1 and gets a makeover.

Gordon: pant pant pant - I'm done.
Chico: Walk it off, Gordon.. That's a lot of hoes. Kelly will be in all the costumes that she DIDN'T get to wear on Dancing with the Stars for fear of another wardrobe malfunction.
Jason: A lot of hoes.
Chico: You know, there is a solution to this... No wardrobe... No malfunction! =p
Gordon: We got our supply of hoes. Next?

TBS has scrapped plans for its competition series, "Loser Leaves Town". This after a $50,000 finder's fee turns up empty.

Chico: So another show gets canned before it has a chance to suck.
Jason: Explain the concept to this one?
Chico: Basically, two neighbors on bad blood take their grievance to the field of competition, and the loser has to move.
Jason: Joy.
Chico: Melodious rapture.
Gordon: At least they are learning to test the waters first before putting out a show that will suck. Are you listening, producers of Next Action Star and Strip Search? I saw nothing but negative ramifications with this sort of show, and I'm glad it's not going to hit the airwaves.
Chico: Agreed. I can see a lot of damage being done here. Okay, Gordon, you're up.
Gordon: here we go...

Two traditions going by the wayside. The first one - Miss America is leaving Atlantic City, thanks to the lack of a major TV contract and their financial earnings in doubt. We also see the end of the WPPA - the group that first backed Poker Royale on GSN before that was taken over.

Gordon: Can we have a moment of silence, please?

(silence)

Mike: That's long enough. Actually, the Miss America pageant has been a tradition going back 75 or so years. That is a sad loss. The poker thing...who cares. NEXT!
Chico: Yeah.
Gordon: ok. Final Brainwave?
Chico: Final Brainwave comes to us from both viewer Robert Searcy and our good friends at Buzzer.
Mike: Yay Robert and Buzzer.

Hans Rueffert, who finished third in The Next Food Network Star, is battling stomach cancer right now. He and his family have set up an LJ account with updates at www.livejournal.com/~hansrue. As I type this, he's reportedly in critical condition. Our thoughts and prayers go out to him and his family.

Jason: Absolutely. Get well soon.
Chico: Indeed. Okay, That's all for Brainvision. I'm shutting it down, mice are back in their cage... What've we got next, Gordon?
Gordon: Next up, one of the games that we didn't get to on Sunday, as we see the Jury. You're watching WLTI #68, one away from...#69.
Mike: There's that 69 again. We can't escape it.

(Brainvision News has been brought to you by the NEW WLTI Vaporware Line-Up! Starting at 8pm with Welcome to the Neighborhood, then at 9pm with Loser  Leaves Town and Finally at 10 pm with The Will! Catch these shows before Fox Reality picks them up!)

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