Chico: I'm Chico Alexander, and if you ask me, Paula's always been a little woo-woo... Gordon, your thoughts?
Gordon: At least she straight up now told us.
Chico: That she's a little woo-woo?
James: Guess she was caught up in a hit-and-run.
Gordon: Well, that was a few weeks ago.
James: But there's always the promise of a new day... I'll stop now :-)
Gordon: Anyway, enough pun-play. This is Gordon Pepper, and I won 205 million....minus $204,999,997.
Chico: And a promise of this: from somewhere in America.... WLTI IS ON!
Joe: I'm the G-to-the-S-to-the-M-A-N, Joe Van Ginkel, and the Australians are bringing back Sale of the Century, but they're calling it by its 1970's Aussie name, Temptation.
Travis: I'm Travis Eberle, and fear is not a factor for me. And if you saw what I do each day, you'd know why. ONWARD!
Chico:  And then there's James Dinan, who is too TRASHed to think of a proper intro :-)
Joe: lol
James: Darn straight.
Gordon: We will have TRASH results later on in the show, but first, we have results a syndicated show that should be in primetime - Jeopardy! How intense has the past 2 weeks been?
James: J! keeps showing why it's the best in the business...probably one of the most exciting series of shows in awhile.
Joe: Poor Bob Harris.
Chico: Well, I'll just tell you this. The seeded nine... non-issues.
Travis: [soapbox] The 'Nifty Nine' have left their mark on Jeopardy! history, that's for sure. But the game is so even at this level, you could put ANYONE in those spots, and the games would still be close. [/soapbox]
Chico: Chances for making the quarterfinal would still be only one in 54.
James: Agreed...byes don't matter on J!
Gordon: They have left their spot in the regular season, but in this tournament, they are not only non-issues, but afterthoughts - NONE of the people that have gotten the first round byes have so far won their games. What are the chances that none of them win their games?
James: I'd say zero...we still haven't seen stronger bye players like Robin Carroll and Brian Weikle.
Travis: (1/3) to the ninth.
Chico: Agreed. They just coasted and got their checks in the mail. But they've done nothing fundamentally different to warrant that.
Travis: We've only seen three, right?
Chico: Only three.
James: Eric Newhouse, Tom Walsh, Sean Ryan.
Chico: And out of those, zero have won. Eric Newhouse... Done. Tom Walsh... Done. Sean Ryan... Done.
James: And we debated earlier whether one of those three even deserved the bye.
Travis: I would say that each of them did earn their spot, yes. Unless you want to give 'em to TOC winners.
Chico: Then you'd have 18 byes at least.
Gordon: OR you could say something else - that Ken Jennings' run could be very overrated. If these people that had these runs in the same season that Jennings' had got dispatched this quickly, you have to wonder the quality of opponents that Jennings has had during his run - and if he is actually a major underdog.
Travis: Maybe Ken played against weaker than normal contestants?
Gordon: Exactly what I was thinking, Travis.
Chico: Overrated, especially given that there's at least one person with the capability to beat him (ahem, Dan Melia, ahem).
Travis: Hear ye, Hear ye, I assert that Ken will go down like a sack of hammers in the finals.
Gordon: How interesting would it be if the battle was between the two other people who get to the finals, and Jennings is nowhere near contention?
Travis: With two people who have played six games, to Ken who hasn't practiced? That's very likely.
James: Ratings wise -- I don't think J! wants that. They want KJ in the running.
Chico: True. But so far, ratings aren't any higher than they have been for "regular games".  And by regular games, I mean those without star brainpowers.
Gordon: It may not be what J! wants - but it may be what they are getting. Perhaps when they didn't put Jennings in the tournament until the finals that they knew something that we don't?
Travis: But J! can't control that, unless they jigger the categories for the Grand Championship, James.
James: True.
Gordon: Here are the categories for the first round of the finals... Romance Movies, Historical Movie Actors, Documentaries, Movie Websites, Oscar Winners, and Movie Quotes.
James: LOL
Chico: You forgot Potent Potables.
Travis: [snicker]
Gordon: Potent Potables used in movies.
James: Don't forget "Famous Mormons".
Chico: Ken knows more about alcohol than any Mormon should.
Travis: And "Software engineering".
Chico: Interesting thing. You know what kind of software he engineers? Software for quiz bowl competitions.
Joe: Wow.
Travis: Scorekeeping stuff?
Chico: Run of the mill trivia software. Not necessarily scorekeeping stuff.
Travis: Very interesting, even if I don't understand entirely.
Chico: It explains his broad spectrum of minutiae, at least.
Gordon: In layman's terms, he creates the software and writes up the questions used when people play Quiz Bowl.
Travis: I wasn't aware that there was a specific software for NAQT.
Chico: Neither was I. I was rather surprised.. but then again, not really. Another not really surprise... another primetime result... Janu, on her 11th day of "I want to quit Survivor"... actually does.
Travis: And it was getting so GOOD...[sob] She's been itching to leave for what, two weeks?
Chico: Or was it her 13th? I lost count.
Joe: How many times do I have to tell you...Survivor = teh suck.
Travis: Then go grab a Krispy Kreme and let the big boys play. :-) No room for quitters. The game will carry on.
Gordon: Ironically, Janu's position could have been the best in the game - she was the swing vote between 2 groups.
Chico: But herein lies the question.... And they actually had this addressed in the local newspaper today. But for purposes on this show and this episode, I'll ask. Now she's on the jury. Should she have been allowed onto the jury to begin with?
Travis: Yes.
Gordon: Sure. You shouldn't not be allowed there just because your brains have turned to mush.
Chico: Okay. Why?
Gordon: She got to the final 9, she should be on the jury.
Travis: Just like Gordon said, she qualifies by definition.
Gordon: Albeit, it's probably the weakest way to get to the final 9 ever, but she got there.
Travis: Koror should have tossed her when they had the chance.
Gordon: Agreed - but they didn't. They got rid of Willard - and you would think that they would have been smart enough to realize that a Willard who at least tries to contribute is better than a Janu who doesn't.
Chico: I kept telling you guys. She had dead weight written all over her. Quite ironic that she was about to do more on her own.
Travis: I like the 'exile' idea though. It does require everyone to pull their weight.
Chico: And speaking of exiles, it's the early morning exile, Jason Block!
James: Jason!
Travis: Huzzah!
Chico: Wee!
Travis: So, we've known she was a bump on a log. But they have no way to dump her. Lose/lose.
Chico: I actually have a quote here from the AP, from today's paper... It basically said after Janu made her offer, Jeff wanted to stop tape.
Jason: In my formely nicotine stained fingers...whoops wrong show :-)
Joe: lol
Travis: Why the stop down? It's happened before.
Chico: I'm getting there! According to the story:
 
"(Janu) Tornell said Probst left the tribal council area and consulted with producers. 'It was all a new drama situation for everybody involved.'"
 
Chico: That's why, T.
Travis: Except for Jeff and the producers; anyway. Do the contestants not watch the previous seasons? (Oh! Reading is your friend.)
Chico: I think they do, but now they know not to expect anything to be a given.
Gordon: In a game where everything goes, why not this? This almost happened in Survivor Amazon, when Shawna wanted to leave.
Chico: And if you do make Survivor, and expect anything to be a given... you are a dunderhead.
Gordon: Or a Dunkleman.
James: Oh my.
Joe: Ack! Bad AI segue.
Chico: Heh...
Gordon: Joining Janu on the outside looking in for the past 2 weeks are Nadia and Anwar. Surprised?
James: I'm stunned that Scott is managing to survive!
Chico: ... Nah, not really.
James: It's like Nikki McKibbin all over again.
Joe: Shocked. Appalled. Apathetic.
James: Gesundheit
Chico: Scott is managing to survive by having other people outdo him in the mediocrity department.
Gordon: I don't think Scott is leaving next week, either.
Chico: For Nadia, it all went to hell with the haircut and the off song choices that no one really knows that much about. As if looks are deceiving and such. With Anwar, it's a case of "If you think you can just coast to the finals, think again." And America called him on it.
James: I thought that given Scott's mediocrity, and his, er, legal issues, he would have been a goner by now. But I'm usually wrong when it comes to this.
Jason: Same with Anwar. Scott and Anthony are not winning, the other competitors are losing.
Gordon: I think that if they all sang good, Scott and Anthony would be toast. The problem, and Chico hit it right on the head, is that one of them always manages to put up a weak effort, and they leave as Scott and Anthony hang on.
Jason: Now here is the question I asked Gordon this week after we are now down to the final 6...would Mario still be there now?
James: Depends on if he was giving 100%.  If he were performing half-a**ed, then I could see him gone.
Chico: I don't think he was being half-arsed in his opening rounds.
Gordon: He wasn't, but he wasn't bringing it in 3 of the past 4 weeks - and that spells bye-bye.
Chico: I think he set the standard. He was a serious contender...Then he quit. Probably to enter the draft as a free agent.
Travis: Stay in school, kids! The draft will still be there.
Chico: *METAPHOR ALERT*
James: He could have always entered the supplemental draft :-)
Gordon: Who's the next person to not get drafted?
James: Depends on the songs, depends on the performances.
Chico: Right now on the upswing: Anthony and Vonzell.
Gordon: Anthony - upswing? Are you on Crunk?
Travis: Anthony's being Anthony. Not enough to win.
Chico: Comparatively to his other performances, hell yeah on the upswing.
Gordon: I'll accept that, but if no one sucks next week, Anthony is leaving.
Jason: I don't know about that. Anthony wasn't that bad. Scott is on the bubble this week.
Chico: Agree on the Block. On the downswing: Scott and Carrie. Scott's having breath control problems STILL... and Carrie's... basically trying to out-Kelly-Clarkson Kelly Clarkson. What with the straying from her core strength in a futile attempt to prove her range and win new fans.
Gordon: The problem with Scott and Anthony is that there are no more people who are inconsistent singers. Scott is going to get saved thanks to the people who don't vote for Anwar. This leaves Anthony in the position to leave. I agree that Scott is in trouble - but he's not leaving yet.
Travis: Nowhere to hide, baby.
Chico: That's just barring another weird performance, though.
Jason: Does this start the 2 song a week now?
Gordon: If I'm not mistaken, they actually start the two-songs-a-piece in the round of 5. At any rate, I'm sure we'll get one from someone. Maybe Carrie will continue to mangle words. Maybe Bo will be flat again. Maybe the angry Scott will show up again - anything can happen - and that's what's made this season fun.
Chico: And it's even more fun when something like last week happens. All of a sudden.. Wide open field. It's the winner's to lose and the loser's to win. And I am confident that in the end, America will get it right.
Gordon: You know who else finally got it right?
Jason: Wendy's for finding out that the woman didn't find the finger?
Gordon: Dan Avila, as he FINALLY wins something nice, as in $100,000 in Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
Chico: That was hot right there.
Jason: Nuclear hot.
James: Hooray Dan!
Jason: He buys a round at GSC4.
Travis: Who all had his $250k question? Show of hands?
Gordon: I did.
Travis: So, two of us, then.
Gordon: I was stunned when he stopped, actually.
Chico: I had it.
The question once again, courtesy our new writer Dustin Riley: in the famous 1888 poem "Casey at the Bat," what is the game's final score after Casey has struck out?  A: 2 to 0, B: 3 to 1, C: 1 to 0, D: 4 to 2.
Gordon: It reminded me of the old Regis Millionaire, when you are wondering how the person in the Hot Seat didn't know the answer to a high amounted question - but I also think that Dan wanted to walk out of there with something.
Chico: He would've walked out there with something anyway. And hell, if he got this right, he would've gotten as high a check as you can get on Syndie Millionaire.
Gordon: Well, there's a big $75,000 difference in somethings.
Travis: High as you can get? There were two questions after that.
Jason: 500K and 1M are 10 year annuities.
Travis: Oh, that's right.
Chico: Yeah. You can get the $250,000... And anything after that is $250,000 plus the difference annuitized.
Travis: Even so, the 100 to 250 jump is the best odds:risk ratio on the show.
Chico: True. You can either lose $75,000 or gain double that, especially if you had some idea. Would you have done the same thing and bail at $100,000? Show of hands?
Jason: If I knew it...yeah.
Joe: *raises hand*
Gordon: I would have gone for it.
Travis: No 50:50 equals adios.
Jason: He had zip.
Chico: Anyone else know the answer, by the way?
Jason: I did but after they showed it :-(
Travis: (Of course, if I know the answer...well, that goes without saying.)
James: I knew it after looking it up on Google :-)
Chico: See, if you were a lifeline in the UK, you couldn't get away with that.
Joe: lol
James: God Bless America!
Gordon: The answer is 4-2.
Chico: That is correct, sir.
Gordon: Any sports geek would know it - Dan on this show has admitted that he isn't a big sports fan outside of college football.
Chico: Dan had no idea, so he walked. And now he's $100,000 richer for it. Can't blame him one bit. Good show, Dan. :-)
James: Hear hear.
Travis: (applause)
Joe: Indeed.
Jason: Applause and standing O.
Chico: And from that, we have news from the world of TV and television.

*stock footage of a black and white globe*.

Joe: O_o
James: From the globe to your frontal lobe!
Joe: LOL. I like that one.
Travis: It's Brainvision News!
Chico: Had to create a mood here. Anyway, article #1...

Pax has decided to virtually cease all networked programming, including its game block.

Chico: Your thoughts?
Travis: Good riddance to bad rubbish.
James: So Byron Allen does NOT have 2.2 billion dollars! I knew it! :-)
Joe: Don't care. Sad they're goin' down the way they are. But I just don't care.
Chico: You ever see Entertainers? Does that LOOK like he has $2.2 billion?
Travis: They've had a couple good shows, but I won't miss 'em.
James: It took me three weeks to FIND PAX on my cable system! PAX never had the money, the channel power, or the must-carry to survive.
Travis: Did they even have a big-name show?
Jason: Exactly. They treated their games like 2nd class citizens
James: Heck, the only reason people watch PAX in DC/Baltimore is because it airs Orioles games.
Gordon: I lost interest after they eliminated Supermarket Sweep from their schedule.
Jason: SUPERMARKET SWEEP!
Joe: Yep. Randy West > all.
Jason: I LOVED that show.
The best small show ever.
Travis: Oh yeah.
Chico: Word. The only sad thing I can think of is that my friend Kim will have to wait until the next GSNnaissance for her next GS appearance.
Gordon: Trivia Question - what gimmick did they use in the first season of the revised Sweep that they NEVER used again?
Travis: MR. DAVE!
Chico: ?
Joe: Don't know.
Gordon: Anyone?
Jason: What was it then?
Chico: Yeah, you're really bumming us out, man.
Gordon: They put three people in monster costumes and let THEM walk in the aisles as well. Contestants could not shop in any aisle that a 'monster' was in.
Joe: lol.
James: OMG
Jason: That was horrible.
Gordon: Needless to say, that was dropped quickly.
Chico: And after hearing that, I'm all too grateful that it was discontinued.
Travis: When was that? 1990?
Chico: Yeah. Same year as Jay Wolpert's "Rodeo Drive."
Travis: So, I was close, but no sweep. Another trivia question?
Chico: With the "Whew!"-esque endgame... like Balderdash, which was actually better than it was given credit for.
Travis: What was the lowest sweep total?
Gordon: It was in double digits - I think 89.
Travis: Eighty nine bucks. Whoof.
Joe: Ditto.
Jason: Ouch.
James: What was that? The all-"only use the Brach's candy dispenser" edition?
Jason: That's a kick in the pants for eligibility.
Travis: Penalties, I bet.
James: God I miss that show (Sweep).
Chico: The only explanation I can think of. Well, all I can say is that hopefully STYD will stay dead this time.
Jason: (trying to hammer nail into STYD coffin).
Travis: Don't give GSN any ideas.
Joe: *Welds the coffin shut*
Chico: They probably wouldn't touch that show. It's too in-studio =p
Jason: Better than what they had now.
Gordon: Next news article, Chico?
Jason: (teletype ticks)
Joe: lol
James: You give us 22 minutes, we give you, well, at least part of the world.

ESPN2's lineup is incredibly game heavy, from one researcher to several teammates to football players in carnival events to bowling! Oh yeah, and lest we forget... George Gray.

James: We know which show Gordon wants to talk about :-)
Chico: Yeah. Schwab :-)
Gordon: How are the ratings doing for these shows?
Joe: lol
Chico: Interestingly enough, I haven't found them. I'm assuming you have, though.
James: I've never even seen ESPN2 ratings! :-)
Gordon: How are they on ESPN? I've only heard that they are doing better than what hockey would have brought, but I don't have any numeric proof on it.
James: Hockey wasn't much of a ratings winner on ESPN or The Deuce -- barely averaged a 1.0.
Chico: I can attest: It's much better in person anyhow or on the video screen.
James: Agreed...hockey is MUCH better live than on TV.
Travis: Agree.
James: Big time. But back to ESPN...
Chico: Which ones are you watching?
Gordon: I'm watching all of them - lol
Travis: I just caught two of STS.
Gordon: The changes were good in STS2 - but just not enough of them and the Schwab still has no sense of TV. For example, a guy was asked, to beat the Schwab, what minor league club Darryl Strawberry was at to start the season. He incorrectly says the Newark Bears and the Schwab, without waiting for Stuart Scott to reveal the right answer, rejoices, effectively killing the moment.
Chico: Thank you, Schwab..
James: If there's one thing I absolutely detest about this show...it's the cheapness.
Travis: $5,000? That's what you won on 2 Minute Drill, though. Cash is better than ESPN experiences...
James: For a contestant to receive only a HAT AND A SHIRT for winning the main game is questionable.
Travis: OK, I'd throw him a C-note for THAT...
James: You win $5,000 for BEATING THE SCHWAB. You get the hat and shirt for winning the main game. When I did 2MD, I won $5,000 for winning the main game...I would have won $5,000 for answering the bonus right. Another $5,000.
Travis: Right.
Jason: Just a hat and shirt? I am SO GLAD I didn't blow my eligibility for that one.
Travis: Admittedly, higher stakes.
James: Spoke to a winner of one of last week's games...he insists that's what he got as a prize, along with a free Amtrak ticket, but that was from Amtrak.
Travis: No different from Beat the Geeks, in terms of prizes, then.
Chico: Okay, I believe Travis called Longshot so...
Travis: I was going to say, that $5,000 isn't cheap. The contestants know what they're getting into.  No law says you have to appear on a game show.
James: You have to give them something a little better than a hat and shirt. How about $2,500 for winning the main game...double it if you beat the Schwab?
Travis: I would be happy with $50,000 divided amongst those who can off him.
Gordon: But if by going on the show, you are going to lose eligibility, the least you could do is get something better than a shirt or an Amtrak ticket.
Travis: I think at a MINIMUM, you should get $500 for a main game win. No matter WHAT the show.
Jason: There is something I want to say, but I am editing myself :-)
James: And, again, that train ticket was courtesy of Amtrak, not Schwab.
Chico: And really, what are you going to do with an Amtrak ticket? One Amtrak ticket?
James: Yes.
Travis: Round trip to Bristol, CT?
James: With no Acela until late summer, who cares? Moving on...Gordon, the world wants to know, your thoughts on ESPN Bowling Night? :-)
Travis: What about the other ESPN2 fare?
Chico: Agreed. Getting off Schwab at the moment... Teammates is basically "The Newlywed Game" meets sports figures. Didn't work with I'm Telling... Doesn't work now.
James: IOW, it's like the NFL Network commercial with Rich Eisen as Eubanks. Frankly, I thought Teammates was dull.
Travis: Eisen got a hosting gig? Good for him. :-)
Chico: And Stuart Scott as Rich Eisen.
Travis: Oh. Damn.
Chico: But I'm getting too ahead of myself... No really, you'll see later.
Joe: lol
Gordon: I haven't been impressed with any of them - but it does beat hockey.
Chico: The Battle of the Gridiron Stars is the Battle of the Network Stars... on a gridiron.
James: More like the old Superstars specials, actually.
Chico: And the Battle of the Network Stars wasn't that much of a big deal to begin with.
Travis: Superstars?
James: Only when Robert Conrad went ape-doody on Gabe Kaplan over rules :-)
Chico: But it's big enough for Goodyear to attach their name and money with, so...
James: Or Mr. T went into the dunk tank.
Chico: Yeah, I liked that a lot :-) And then there's the forgotten red-headed stepchild, I'd Do Anything.. which is actually good for what it is.
Travis: Work is work.
Chico: Extreme stunts meeting familial charity.
James: It's Sports Fear Factor and nothing else. As far as ESPN Bowling Night goes...I don't know...I like the party atmosphere of the show, but some of the bowling is painful to watch. And Norm Duke and the two Mikes are horrid commentators.
Chico: It's celebrity. By its very nature, it's supposed to be that way. But comparatively... Let's Bowl, it ain't.
James: Let's Bowl was better than this.
Chico: Now that was a show.
Travis: That was high comedy, Let's Bowl was.
Gordon: Note to the producers - if you're going to get a sport show with athletes, make sure they KNOW HOW TO DO THE SPORT! There are many athletes who are very good bowlers - where are they?
James: Where's Jerome Bettis?
Travis: How can you NOT laugh at the distraction? *AIRHORN*
Chico: Okay, that horn means that it's time for the next article.

The Incredible Shrinking Apprentice Finale. This season, the Apprentice is constricted to one hour.

Travis: I think two-hours is appropriate for any of these final episodes.
Jason: Thank God.
Chico: After last year's three-hour hoo-hah.
Travis: Three is bloated, even for Survivor.
Gordon: Can't they just call the finale off due to lack of eligible players?
James: Yay!
Joe: That would be nice. But it won't happen.
Chico: Anyway, in a warmup for events to come, why is it only an hour? James?
James: If it were two hours, one hour would be devoted to Mark Burnett apologizing for The Contender. :P
Chico: Jason? Joe?
Jason: Because Trump saw the criticism of the three hour bloatfest.
Joe: heh
Jason: And he knows what works.
Joe: Because The Apprentice = teh suck.
Chico: Travis?
Travis: I think Jason had it. Three is two many, so he's overcompensating.
Chico: And Gordon?
Travis: Show the final episode, hire someone, reunion show.
Gordon: Honestly, can you really put in even 2 hours on this season? This was around as flat and uninteresting as they have been.
Chico: All good justifications, but perhaps the best one... is to air AFTER the finale. The final ep of ER with Noah Wyle.
James: You could have devoted an hour to Martha Stewart's Apprentice...interview her and the like.
Chico: You'd have to dance around the law to do that, I think.
Jason: No way. Martha announced her Sirius deal this week with her in it. And she was at the Time 100 party.
Chico: Really?
Jason: She has her own Sirius home entertaining and cooking channel coming soon to Sirius (been hearing the ads all week on my unit).
Joe: Ack!
Chico: That much I knew, but to be there when it's announced.
James: That's why I have XM :-)
Jason: She was there. There was a photo. She made a speech. So that she could be there to promote Apprentice: MS
Chico: I just kill the problem at the source. My car has an MP3 player :-)
Joe: Chico wins.
Chico: Rock!
Gordon: NEXT....

IFC decides NOT to renew the Ultimate Film Fanatic, hence upsetting many people, including Nat Dykeman, who has an online petition to save it. Can it be saved?

Jason: Maybe.
Travis: With an online petition? Notta chance.
Joe: Yep. UFF is toast.
James: Online petition? Uh, no.
Chico: Uh, yeah. The address is ultimatefilmfanatic.com.
James: What I mean is such a petition won't work.
Chico: Ah, right.
James: Maybe something a bit more original, like the bottles of Tabasco for *Roswell*.
Jason: That was cool. Didn't work, but was cool.
James: Maybe movie tickets or empty popcorn boxes
Chico: Yeah, but what can you do for a movie trivial game show? SceneIt Box games?
Gordon: Maybe if they send the executives all statues with just the ass, then they'll get the point. Finally....

GSN has ordered more episodes of Millionaire (including the wins of Ed Toutant and Dr. Kevin Olmstead) and has picked up Super Millionaire. Good move?

Jason: Yes.
Chico: Yep.
James: Not for me...this means you'll see my Zero Dollar appearance :-)
Travis: Good move for the original Millionaire episodes.
Joe: ROFL
James: But you will hopefully see my revenge episode.
Joe: Revenge?
James: When I won $64,000.
Gordon: Is it only a matter of time until we see the Vieira episodes?
Jason: Not yet.
James: Probably something similar to Street Smarts. Give it 4-5 seasons before you see it on GSN.
Gordon: We are breaking now - but coming up, we see Whammies come out to play and 5 good reasons to stick around - but you should have those reasons anyway.
 
(Today's Brainvision News is presented by SceneIt? Makes a good game and a good coercive device for stubborn film-on-television execs)