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May 7, 2005
Chico: From Somewhere in America, We Love to Interrupt...
is on! It's Saturday morning, it's time to party. I'm Chico Alexander, and I
can't believe that they couldn't call up Jim Verraros to sub out for Big Sexy,
Matt Rogers on the Family Feud.. You, Gordon?
Gordon: Only you would think that either Matt Rogers or Jim Verraros is sexy.
We have Idol Feuds all over the place - we'll start with the one that is
actually fun to watch. The men absolutely plastered the women - even when
handicapped 5 to 4. Probably the first time that has EVER happened.
Chico: Yep. Not much to say except... What the hell?
Actually, I will admit when I saw Amy from season 3, I was saying “Please let
that be a baby.” Surely enough, it was. But seriously. It's the Feud, it's
always fun to watch. But the last three days, even more so.
Gordon: It's been fun to watch, unlike the ABC special this past Wednesday,
which was...well, what was the point?
Chico: Ratings. Sleaze. Smut. It's a sweeps month, after
all.
Gordon: Let's say that you are Paula Abdul. I'm not sure if you want to be
her, but let's say you are.
Chico: Not until later in the show, but okay. "You're
Paula Abdul. I'm not sure if you want to be her, but let's say you are."
Gordon: You saw the ABC special, which was nothing but conjecture. No one
believes Corey Clark in the court of general opinion and he has been
discounted. Do you sue Corey for every penny? Or do you let sleeping dogs lie
for fear of what could turn up?
Chico: Let’s see... Corey... ABC... John Quinones...
Anyone and everyone who took part. I could easily see a defamation of
character charge here.
Gordon: But do you sue?
Chico: Oh yeah!
Gordon: What if Corey is actually...right?
Chico: Just a chance I'm going to have to take.
Gordon: What if those things actually happened but we are discounting it due
to lack of proof? If Paula does sue, then everything will be looked at and we
all know that no one - Paula and Idol included, wants that.
Chico: Well, Fox says that everything will be looked at
regardless. And Corey said that he wouldn't help, BUT!!!
Gordon: It wouldn't surprise me if Paula wants to sue, but Idol is not going
to let her.
Chico: There's a BUT!
Gordon: Let’s hear the but.
Chico: Let's bring up the Big Board here... Subject: "A
Bigger Idea Than Previously Thought". From Marc Berman of Mediaweek's
Programming Insider.
Gordon: ok
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Chico: What does that tell you?
Gordon: It tells me that I wasted 60 minutes of my time watching a garbage ABC
special, that unfortunately, a lot of other people watched because it won its
time spot.
Chico: But do a lot of people believe it?
Gordon: Based on all of the internet polls, no.
Chico: You know, Clay Aiken didn't believe it either. He
was in town the other day (he's always in town, it seems) to defend Paula...
Gordon: And?
Chico: That's it. Just reiterating the point. The grounds
are baseless here.
Gordon: I still don't think that Idol wants Paula to sue. I also think that
there is some sort of kindling there - maybe not as much that Corey says
happens, but the phone record does indicate that something is up.
Chico: I guess we'll just have to wait and see if this
was all bark and no bite. Meanwhile, another Idol WTF if resolved. Savol is
dead.
Gordon: It was fun when it lasted. The Chaos Theory > Votefortheworst.com.
Chico: Hey, no one said votefortheworst.com would work.
All we said was that it was entertaining.
Gordon: They are convinced that they could control the Idol voting. Uh....no.
Chico: No one entity can ever sway the Idol votes. And no
one entity ever will. Didn’t work last year *ahem*John Stevens*ahem*.
Gordon: There's just too many people voting to be able to get that much of a
mass to vote for one person.
Chico: Oh well. Not for lack of trying, but too many
people, myself and Nana Pepper included, saw Scott last week and said "No way,
U, H, U, H, uh, uh, forget it.
Gordon: By the way, Happy Birthday, Anthony Fedorov!
Chico: *throws confetti* Enjoy the party while it lasts,
because I'm predicting an all-blonde bottom two.
Gordon: So you aren't convinced that it's Bo Vs. Carrie in the finals?
Chico: Not by a mile. Still one upset to go, I think.
Gordon: So you are thinking like I am - that R&B will not be shut out of the
final 2.
Chico: And why not? Vonzell is going to get Scott's vote
and Bo's basically secured in his performanceship. And even if, the vote will
still go to Bo. Not to say who the winner will be, but I have a good idea of
where the chips will fall.
Gordon: We'll chat more about this later, but right now, we move on to
Jeopardy. The final 18 have been set. Nine of those 18 were expected to be
people who have gotten first round byes. Uh...oops.
Chico: Instead? Only two. Doing it J! style: these are
the two byes who made it into the quarterfinals.
Gordon: Who are Rutter and Spangenberg?
Chico: Correct.
Gordon: Brad Rutter and Frank Spangenberg, to be exact.
Chico: Two... out of 18. I doubt that they'll go any
further on their own star power. I could see one or the other, but not both.
This is high caliber competition here. They’re going to have to bring it.
Gordon: I think they could - it depends on who they are going up against. If
they run into Melia or Mueller, that could spell disaster. Or Jerome Vered.
Chico: The Unholy Trinity. :-)
Gordon: Three people who have routed their ways upward. If they run into
people who have backed in to advance, those people could be beaten.
Chico: Oh yeah. Let's see here. If Dan, Pam, Jerry, and
Lan (can't forget Lan, Lord knows we've tried) are at the top... then who
would be at the bottom... any ideas? Grace Veach, possibly.
Gordon: I'm not sure if I could put a bottom, per se,
they are all great players. I will say this - we are down to 19. By this time
next week, we'll be down to 9 with 1 more Elite 18 match to go. Then the last
Elite 18 match, the 2 semifinals matchups the week after, and the three finals
matches to go.
Chico: That seems like a perfect set up for a WLTI
game... but more on that later. For now, we’ll just say that the best players
will move forward, and the ones that backed into a spot will crack. Now we go
from brain-moves to not-so-brain moves, as Gregg, who heretofore had the game
of Survivor locked, makes a strategic boo-boo.
Gordon: If you are going to make people expendable, DON'T
TELL THEM that they are expendable.
Chico: And certainly don't leave the power thinkers
behind to .. well, think. Because anyone who knows Survivor knows that there
is NOTHING to do back home.
Gordon: A traditional Burnett trap in the Reward challenge - by selecting
people to go with you, you are telegraphing to everyone else how important
they are. You are also telegraphing who isn't that important - and Caryn just
received that message. Herself and Katie switch to Tom and Ian's side to boot
Gregg.
Chico: Also letting people know that Gregg loves the
ladies... But that's of no consequence, because he's gone now, thanks to the
new alliance of Tom, Ian, and Caryn. Because actually, Katie's just a whore.
She goes where the power is. She's a power surfer.
Gordon: Can she convince Caryn and Jennifer that they all now have the power
and can pick off the guys?
Chico: Doubtful. Jenn is probably the stupidest player
ever to play the game. She's a Stupid McDum-Dum.
Gordon: Then she'll be an eliminated McDum-Dum unless she wins immunity.
Chico: Also not going to happen. She hasn't done a day's
physical work in her life.
Gordon: Then bye-bye, Jennifer. Also going bye-bye...Meredith and Gretchen, as
the Amazing Race heads towards it's climax.
Chico: We have the three strongest teams going into the
next leg. But Ron & Kelly are being estranged... Something ELSE Rob & Amber
can use to their advantage, I bet.
Gordon: I agree with you - but I think they also have to worry more about
finishing then sabotaging right now. They need to outplay Joyce and Uchenna,
who are a very powerful team on their own.
Chico: I see them taking the whole shoot'n'match. Any
team that went through what they did is due a win. As a fellow bald person can
attest...
Gordon: You are referring to the head-shaving?
Chico: I am referring to the headshaving.
Gordon: To win a Fast Forward, Joyce and Uchenna had to have their heads
shaved. Not a problem for Uchenna, but a major problem for Joyce, who managed
to get through it like a trooper. They are your sentimental favorites?
Chico: They are. We're kindred.
Gordon: Who's your favorite in The Apprentice?
Chico: Hmm... I'll go with Tana.
Gordon: I agree with that, though I still think that she's inferior to either
Bill (Apprentice 1) or Kelly (Apprentice 2).
Chico: Yep. They can own her. More on the Donald next
week. But right now... cue the brain!
 (Big throbbing Brain. It's big and it...throbs. BGM: Move
Closer to Your World... okay, so only Philly will get that)
Chico: Putting the brain back into TV and television,
this is Brainvision News...
Gordon: What do we have, Chico?
Chico: First up: from the world of TV, food, fuzzy-headed
commentators, and Mario Batali...
Food Network has ordered a second season of 14 eps of
Iron Chef America.
Chico: All I can say is... WEE!
Gordon: Despite being up against Desperate Housewives,
the show's ratings are up over 140% from the old programming - as are the
repeats in the old slots. That's worth a renewal.
Chico: The chairman agrees. Next...
CBS pulls a triple double this summer with "The Cut",
"Rock Star", and "Big Brother 6".
Chico: I can't wait for Rock Star.
Gordon: Rock Star should be a lot of fun. The Cut....eh.
Big Brother...the usual angst and dramas that inexplicably gets good ratings.
Chico: Interesting formula with Rock Star: Monday: Home
life eps. Tuesday: Performance. Wednesday: Results. It's like American Idol
meets Big Brother. I think Burnett may redeem himself here.
Gordon: As long as the viewers aren't burnt out from Idol voting - though it
does bode well that you have a rocker doing exceptionally well in Idol. Next
up...
The Ultimate Fighter has been renewed for two more
seasons. In addition, we're looking at live UFC programming from the Big Boys.
Gordon: Joe Van Ginkel is happy. Are you?
Chico: Why not? I can be happy. It's good. It's deserved.
Gordon: If they continue to churn out quality programming, I'll be thrilled.
Chico: Hell yeah.
Gordon: I was satisfied with the live show. I want MORE!
Chico: MORE!
Gordon: Does this replace boxing for you?
Chico: Yep.
Gordon: Same here. Next news article.
Those expecting to watch Bob and company get a corpse
instead, as TPIR millions make way for CSI’s at least 12 million... viewers.
Chico: Your thoughts?
Gordon: I think they are saving it for the end of sweeps
myself. CSI does get better ratings than TPIR. The ratings for TPIR, however,
indicate that Bob has nothing to worry about. Your thoughts?
Chico: But then again, you're talking Saturday showings
with nothing really to lose. I think CBS is sending a subtle hint. "We go
where the money is."
Gordon: May Sweeps - you have to go for the money. Next...
Speaking of music competitions, we have a battle in NBC in the summer,
featuring ONE HIT WONDERS!
Gordon: Fun to see or will we see why they only had
one-hit to begin with?
Chico: It's NBC. That pretty much says it all.
Gordon: NBC has had a very good track with reality shows. They have NOT had a
good track record with musical competitions (FAME, anyone?). We'll see which
one this falls under.
Chico: Although with celebs, you take a crap shot. And
then you take a chance :-) Thank you, I'll be here all week.
Gordon: Speakng of networks with bad reality track records...
Chico: WB?
The WB will be giving us ANOTHER shot at a reality show success with Beauty
and the Geek.
Gordon: The formula worked with Average Joe. Will it work
here?
Chico: It's the WB. What do you think? Sun's got to shine
on a dog's behind someday... But this ain't the day and this ain't the dog.
Gordon: Well, if it makes anyone feel better, this is probably the best that
they have come up with.
Chico: Nope. I still stand by the best being Studio 7.
And that says a lot.
Gordon: Since Studio 7 was pretty rotten, that does say a lot.
Chico: Okay, that's all for the Brainvision News. Next
up, Gordon and I are still trying to drum up an audience. Maybe we should
introduce some new games...
Gordon: New Games! Sounds good to me. Each of us will bring out a new
game to play - after the break
(Brainvision News has been presented by Dog Eat Dog:
Extreme Geek Edition. Watch geeks go at it until one of them gets the Wedgie
of Doom!)
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