April 3, 2005

Jason: What happened when we watched But Can They Sing?
Chico: God killed my best friend's kitty. But it's okay, because he's married now. Hi, Eric & Kelly :)
Jason: (shakes head)
Gordon: What happened was that I ordered Chinese food for the whole family =)
Jason: (shakes head again)
Gordon: And they needed a lot of cat, since I ordered the egg roll
Chico: How big of an eggroll did you HAVE?
Jason: I haven't eaten yet, thanks.
Chico: Spring rolls, baby. Spring rolls.
Gordon: You still have an appetite?
Jason: I have an appetite for Role Play.
Chico: So do I... Let's do that, shall we?
Gordon: Let's do that. I have some scripts here at the ready
Jason: I am scared, but I think I am ready.
Gordon: What do we have for Mr. Klauss?
Jason: Uh Oh Mike...you are first.
Mike: Uh oh indeed
Chico: Okay... Here's the dealie, Mike..

You are Olmec, stone head and guardian of the Hidden Temple. What do you think about your show not being included in the Game Show Marathon?

Mike: Mmmmmmmm...first, I feel like the people at FREMANTLE should go into the Room of Unbearable Torture, where an endless loop of Bai Ling's Greatest Hits will be played. After that, if they're lucky, they can go to the Room of Olmec's Middle Finger. If they can get me to stop flicking them off, they can choose to go into the Pit of Absolute Despair, where they can find...the Golden Bruised Ego of Danny Bonaduce. And if they get out of the temple in three minutes, they will be handsomely rewarded. And here's how. They'll get a RENEWAL in 2007!
Jason: *Applause*
Mike: That's it. Where's my meds?
Chico: Right here, brother.
Gordon: Bring back the medic!
Jason: (The medic comes back with a new tray of sedatives and some water)
Mike: Yummy yummy colored pills.
Chico: Next, Gordon, cast Jason, please.
Gordon: Ok. Ready for your role, Jason?
Jason: No...but let's go.

You are Olmec, stone head and guardian of the Hidden Temple. What do you think about your show not being included on the Survivor Exile Island?

Jason: mmmmmmmmm, I sense a pattern here. But I understand this one, because Panama is not part of the Aztec race which is where I am from. This is more of a jungle Indian. But not being included in the Guatemalan Survivor...that cheesed me off.
Gordon: So then you would be an exile. That would have been perfect for Exile Island. Aren't you going to be as wrathful as Mike's Olmec?
Jason: I am more of a benevolent Guardian...and I have taken my meds.
Gordon: Were the colored pills yummy?
Jason: Very.
Chico: Okay. Gordon? Ready?
Gordon: I'm ready. Do it to it.
Chico: Okeydokeysmokey. Gordon...

You are Olmec... stone head and guardian of the Hidden Temple.

Gordon: I am? I'm shocked. SHOCKED!

GSN was moved to digital sports on Time Warner systems, yet Nick GAS is still there. GSN has no big studio behind it, yet Nick GAS does... Coincidence... or conspiracy?

Gordon: Well, first of all, Olmec the wise is too good to be shuttled off to some digital system. Second of all, TIme Warner likes my voice - and they know where the paychecks are coming from. The only way the GSN is going to come back is if they remake Legends of the Hidden Temple, and give me a makeover. I want some nice CGI, damn it.
Chico: And holograms. You also want holograms.
Gordon: Yes. Preferable if they come with Jem. That would be truly outrageous.
Mike: Truly truly truly outrageous?
Gordon: Oh yeah.
Jason: Nice 80's cartoon reference.
Chico: I heart the 80's.
Jason: Voltron on DVD in Sept.
Chico: Really?
Jason: http://www.voltrondvd.com
Gordon: Ready for yours, Chico?
Chico: Okay, Gordon.. Hit me.
Gordon: Chico you are...

Olmec, stone head and guardian of the Hidden Temple. Again.

Chico: Wow...Deep.
Jason: What a surprise.
Gordon: Never could have guessed that one, could you?
Chico: Never in a million seconds.
Mike: I sense a theme
Chico: Happy April Fools Day.

Mario Vasquez (remember him?) will be coming out (minds out of the gutters, people) with a new CD very soon. Is this something that you would be putting on your CD tiki player and listening to?

Chico: Let's rock.
Gordon: He got the reference. Good boy. =)
Chico: Party at my place. The kegs in the SHRINE of the Silver Monkey.
Gordon: Now that we had our jollies, it's time for an actual round of
Roleplay. We'll start with Jason. And since Jason keeps telling us how much he looooves the female roles...
Jason: Uh oh. I am Olmec's wife?
Gordon: Close.

You are Teri Hatcher.

Jason: Really?

Really. What in the world are you doing with Ryan Seacrest? Are you actually thinking of dating him? What's going through your mind right now?

Jason: It's very simple actually. It's all come down to bling...I mean first off...Nicolette Sheridan is engaged to Michael Bolton? What's up with that?
Chico: Hasn't had a hit in years...
Jason: And Eva Longoria...that well..uh...you know...is dating Tony Parker...
Chico: Yet scores Nicolette Sharidan... where's the love?
Mike: Teri Hatcher accidentally confused Ryan Seacrest with me. Carry on.
Jason: I have a got a hot looking blonde guy with a lot of money and I can piggyback on his fame.
Chico: Mm-hmmm...
Jason: You get what I am saying...
Gordon: That definitely sounds like someone's desperate. You got one for
Mike, Chico?
Chico: Yes I do.
Mike: Oh great. Am I Olmec, and am I dating Teri Hatcher?
Chico: Sure, why not? Heh. No, you're...

Melissa Peachy. Aside from being incredibly hot, what do you think about hosting a show for US television?

Mike: I think this is a good opportunity to show off my real "talents". I expect a devoted fan following due to the aforementioned "talents" and because the show is being buried at 1 frickin' AM. But who cares about the show? Aren't I just incredibly HOT? How long before I get my own spread in Playboy? What about a show on E!? This is just a stepping stone in my plan for domination of the American television landscape!
Chico: Gee, that sounds familiar.
Gordon: That would be peachy keen with me.
Chico: Is your talent courting drunken frat boys, then?
Mike: Courting drunken frat boys and insomniac geeks. Wait, there's a game along with this? I'm not just looking INCREDIBLY HOT for the TV? I have to do work?
Chico: Yes, you have to work. With Shandi. Thoughts about that?
Mike: Look for the raw footage on a web site by April 20.
Chico: YAY!
Jason: Yeah, baby
Mike: That'll steam up some monitors.
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: Chico, you are the...

Deal or No Deal vault. Are you going to be a new gimmick that we'll actually get to see? Or are you going to go the way of On The Spot?

Chico: I think I can be used as a number of devices. I hold the cases... I hold several surprises...The possibilities are endless...And you can fit a Hummer in there! But if ever I lose out my job, ... Let's just say my father works for CBS.
Gordon: You can also hold Melissa and Shandi together, which would get a lot of hummers =)
Chico: On that note, Gordon...
Gordon: yah
Chico: You are...

A Lingo stopper ball. You're getting some extra work this season as not only regular players draw you, but the best of the best online and off play each other for Lingo dominance... Are you worried that you won't make an appearance?

Gordon: Not really. Whether someone is good or not doesn't depend a heck of a lot when you are grabbing for balls.
Chico: So you think you're going to make your presence known then.
Gordon: I mean when you look at it, it's only time until they grope me and fondle...wait a sec, I'm being grabbed and fondled and groped. I protest! This is harassment! I'm going to sue right now to make sure that this smut does not make it to the air!
Chico: Too late. Season premieres Monday.
Gordon: Where's my lawyer? I have my rights, too! I'll make sure that the new season doesn't get on the air. I can sue for backrights, too. This is blasphemy, I don't believe I'm being exploited in front of horny people all over my TV set.
Chico: So it's either cooperate or be outsourced to French Canada. Any questions?
Gordon: I have dozens of hands groping my body...ewww...Even Jason Hernandez is touching me all over! ACK!
Chico: With that, we're going to break. Big Finish next.
Gordon: I need a cold shower. 'Shudder'

(Sponsored by Howie's Vault of Fun. We get the game show hussies and stuff them in the vault for you, flick a camera in the back and see the action unfold. This week, we have Shandi Finessy...and Dodgy! Hot! Hot! Hot!)

Jason: Ok...NOW I need some more meds.
Gordon: Medic!

(The nurse comes back with some yummy sedatives for Mr. Block. She needs to get paid royalties for this episode. Hellooooo, nurse!)

Chico: While J gets his meds, we're going right to the Big Finish. Just saw a commercial for Playmania. Who's in? Who's... too tired to care?"
Mike: Fun! It sounds like an updated version of Fun House, where all the contestants have real fun.
Jason: I like it.
Gordon: Fun? You mean we're supposed to have fun?
Chico: On GSN, supposedly yes.
Gordon: I'll go for fun. Who goes for Bucky being the next person to leave Idol?
Chico: Right here
Jason: I am calling Ace.
Chico: Klaussie?
Mike: Don't care. It's Idol
Chico: Right. Who's watching Lingo?
Jason: I am.
Mike: If I had access to GSN, I would, especially on MAY 5.
Gordon: I'll be watching it. Jason Hernandez will be on May 5. What is Joe Van Ginkel doing?
Jason: Well, Joe is actually auditioning to be a pilot contestant for a new game show this Sunday.
Mike: Sweet!
Jason: The game show is called Infinity. It is supposed to be a cross of MIllionaire and DOND. More details to follow.
Chico: Is it on Fox?
Jason: I don't know, but if I know Fox...it should be them.
Chico: Gotcha. Who's up for a quickie mail call?
Jason: I am.
Gordon: Mail Time!
Chico: This one from our good friend Jason Wuthrich.

Chico: In a word... Yes. JD and Seth do bear more of a striking resemblance these days. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Gordon: Maybe...they are the same person!
Chico: *bum bum BUUUUUUUUUUUM* We'll get back to you on that. Meanwhile, we're going to leave you our e-mail address and hope that you get back to us. It's WLTI@gameshownewsnet.com. Drop us a line, because, as you know... without you, we're nothing. One final word going out. Final Four, who wins?
Jason: LSU in the final over George Mason
Mike: I'll take LSU. My bracket is total junk.
Gordon: Florida takes out UCLA
Chico: UCLA takes out Florida. Wow. Wide open field. Okay, that's gonna do it for us. Good night, Mr. Klauss.
Mike: Good night, Mr. Chico. Good night, Mr. Block.
Jason: Good night Mr, Klauss. Good Night. Mr. Pepper.
Gordon: Good night Mr. Block. Good night Mr. Alexander, Good Night Mr. Klauss. Good Night Miss Finnessey, Dodgy and the Sedative Nurse.
Chico: And good night Ryan and Johnny and Ryan's mom. For all of us at GSNN, until next time, Happy April Fools Day and spread the love. :)
Jason: Spread the Love. 5 More till 100.
Gordon: Spread the love - and don't let the pranking be too harmful