Episode 29.17 - Champions
Gordon: Lovely. Welcome back to the show. Now Chico, I believe has 6 things we
should all know
Chico: You know it was upfront week this week.
Jason: I do.
Gordon: I sure did. Lots of new shows coming and old ones going
Chico: We found out what's surviving and what isn't. And through it all, we
gleaned six things we think you should know.
Gordon: I'll start it off.
Jason: Go for it.
#1. Ratings aren't the end all and be all. If a show makes you a lot of money,
it stays (Apprentice, etc.). If a show costs a lot of money and you're not
getting the bang for the buck, it leaves (Terra Nova)
Jason: An obvious lesson
Chico: Example... Fashion Star. Fell like a brick, but mad enough on the back
end to warrant a renewal.
Gordon: Huge numbers on the back end. People like to shop and people like to
Chico: So give the alpha consumers a bone.
Jason: It was a MASSIVE SUCCESS online.
Chico: There you go. Next...
#2. Friday is a 50/50 crap shoot at best. Shark Tank does well there, so it
stays there. Top Model is fading fast, so it gets moved there.
Jason: Friday is where shows goes to die....sort of.
Chico: Unless it lived there to start with.
Gordon: Fridays are last chance alley, but shows have done well there, like the
Price is Right specials, and to a lesser extent, Don't Forget the Lyrics and 5th
Grader. Usually, though you don't want to be there.
Chico: A Wednesday show goes to Friday to die.
Gordon: Saturdays, of course, are no chance alley unless you're a very low
budget reality show.
Chico: Saturdays are death row.
Gordon: Next one...
#3. The less money it costs, the better chance you have, regardless of ratings
Gordon: Who here thought that Excused would get a second season?
Jason: Not me.
Chico: Not me.
Jason: But it did. Because it's cheap.
Chico: And easy.
Gordon: Dirt cheap.
Jason: Just like most of the people on the show :-)
Gordon: So what if it averaged less than a 0.5? Less money to spend = easy shot
at a renewal
Chico: And it's easy to sell in late night.
Gordon: So there you go.
#4. NBC's program strategy: throw something on the schedule and see what sticks.
Gordon: This is the same company that put Jay Leno up 5 days a week. This is the
result of that. NBC is losing to Univision.
Chico: Next one...
#5. The 2 best ways to kill off a show is 1. overkill the show and 2. put the
Summer shows on during the Fall and Winter. See Sing-Off, The.
Gordon: The Voice is following in those footsteps.
Chico: If it's Monday in the fall, you're watching one of two things: Dancing
with the Stars... and whatever CBS's going yard with.
Gordon: Fortunately, NBC kept AGT on during the Summer - though they did start
it much earlier than usual, and it wouldn't surprise me if they ended this in
Chico: Actually, the early start makes sense considering that two weeks of the
summer schedule will be occupied by the London Olympics.
Gordon: But I'm NBC. I've got nothing on my schedule for May. I put AGT in as
soon as I can.
Chico: As for Ninja Warrior... NBC has to put SOMETHING on.
Gordon: I'm watching the Ninja Warriors.
Chico: Which is good stuff, by the way
Gordon: It is - but it's only there because there's nothing else NBC can put up
that's going to draw anything more than a 5.
Chico: Last one...
#6. With only 21 new shows from all 5 networks, everyone's playing defense with
Chico: They're sticking with what they have... or they're planning on major
Gordon: With the ratings shrinking, everyone needs to do what they can to
survive. In fact, we'll be giving out advice on that...after the break.
Chico: See you soon!
(Brought to you by Ninja Pizzaman. You want to talk about
being a warrior? Try delivering 3 pizzas into Elizabeth, NJ and get out alive.)
Chico: Good luck with that. Welcome back. Thanks for being a part of our week
and allowing our week to be a part of you.
Gordon: As we all know, the seasons haven't been too kind for a lot of shows.
Here are 6 games that hit the 'Worst ratings ever' plateau, so they all need
some remodelling. So these shows need some Extreme Gameover.
Chico: I'll get my toolbox.
Gordon: Starting with...
Survivor. We know about the 3 teams and returning medivac people, but is that
enough? Or do they need more?
Chico: They need to get back to the game that worked. A reasonable number of
castaways, a reasonable number of challenges, and one winner.
Jason: Survivor needs a final two jury
Chico: It's simple, really.
Gordon: I'll go with that. Next one...
Celebrity Apprentice. What does The Donald need to do with this franchise?
Chico: How about cutting the crap and playing by the rules instead of getting
rid of the most boring people just to snare drama.
Jason: Trump needs to base his decision on logic...not drama
Gordon: Whoever created the 'let's keep people on if they cause drama' should be
used as the next canvasses for season 2 of Best Ink.
Jason: With no painkillers.
Gordon: Next one....
The X-Factor. Do we need more than 2 new judges and a new host?
Chico: We need two judges who will judge.
Jason: This has the same problem Idol has...too damn nice.
Chico: Simon needs to tell his people that you're not there to be nice.
Gordon: I hate to say this, but the audience is like sheep. You do need to tell
them who to vote for and to guide them.
Jason: No you don't. The people are so programmed as to what to vote for.
Gordon: Which is usually what you have to do when you're dealing with screaming
14 year olds. Next one...
America's Next Top Model. They are cleaning house - but should they?
Chico: Fork. Show. Done. It's beyond fixing. You can snap it together with a few
board-shaped co-edibles, but it's just a band aid.
Gordon: I don't think it's beyond fixing. I actually think it should do what The
Ultimate Fighter did - give us some live fashion shows. Do SOMEthing.
Jason: I agree with live modeling
Chico: Well, they are allowing live voting for this season.
Gordon: I like that, but I think the modeling should be a big part of it. Next
The Biggest Loser. It's coming back, but only once a year, which is not good
news for the show. How do we cut the fat?
Chico: Throw out the voting. It's been a problem from day 1.
Jason: Judges only
Gordon: And get me some good contestants please.
Chico: Who are there for the right reasons.
Gordon: Right. Last one....
The Bachelor. I know Chico has some solid advice for the show.
Chico: Wedding or Get the (bleep) Out.
Jason: And seriously...Black Bachelor or all the way, or even gay nuptials.
Gordon: I agree with Jason. Do something different.
Gordon: Chico for Bachelor!
Chico: ... Ladies?
Gordon: They'll approve
Chico: Who wants me roses?
Jason: You are the man. Do it. Call Mike Fleiss. Because you will able to say
the four words we all want to hear...
Chico: YOU SUCK...GET OUT.
Gordon: And with that, we wrap this up after the break.
(Brought to you by MythBlockbusters. What B is maybe or maybe not hiding in a
grainy photo of something that looks like a forest in the Pacific Northwest?
That's for Adam & Jamie & Simon to decide)
Jason: I love it :-) BTW...if we haven't said so...SEEK OUT Blockbusters and The
Gordon: Yes. Watch them. They will be good for you. So will the Speed Round
which starts...now. Idol: Philip wins, right?
Jason: Yes. Yawn.
Chico: Another boring dude wins.
Jason: Mark my words...he sells less than 100,000 copies when his CD comes out
Chico: I'll agree. Speaking of. Will Hip Hop Squares hit?
Gordon: Solid platinum
Jason: I have seen clips. This is going to be HUGE.
Gordon: Jeopardy - anyone do anything in May?
Jason: I don't think so.
Jason: We are down to 20 shows in Wheel of Fortune. Do we see a Million Dollar
Gordon: It would have happened already, so I'll say no. Any email?
Chico: Nope. You can change that by following along with the conversation on
Twitter. We're @wltiongsnn. Or if you like writing things longer than 140
characters, we have email for that. email@example.com Now... NEXT WEEK! Aside from being our season finale... it's our 400th
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Chico: What we have in store?
Gordon: We'll find that out for next week. For this week, this is Gordon Pepper
saying Game Over and Spread the Love.