Episode 29.8 - Dueling Voices
and Dancing Brobots
Chico: This is Chico Alexander. And as we're
doing the show, there are a lot of our friends in the Midwest and the south that
can't read it right now, because they're busy building their lives and their
livelihoods back after the terrible tornado outbreak.
Jason: The pictures were horrifying
Chico: Our hearts and our best wishes go out to all of those afflicted. You
concentrate on getting back on track and leave the fun and games to us for a
Gordon: And hopefully. a little laughter will help go along long way
Chico: It always does.
Chico: That said, let's get fun and games underway. From somewhere in America...
WLTI.. is... ON!
Jason: WOO HOO!
Gordon: Weee! Gordon Pepper here, along with Chico and our special guest, Mr.
Jason: Glad to be in the nuthouse.
Chico: Always glad to have you. A lot to go over, so we'll start with the round
of dueling talent shows. Idol has a top 13 now! Isn't that exciting?
Jason: It is. And I like...MOST of them.
Chico: For the most part, America and the judges get it right. Jury's still out
on Heejun Han, who's more smoke than fire, if you ask me. He's the CHARACTER of
the group this year.
Jason: Are you kidding? He's terrible. He's the Asian Sanjaya.
Chico: Hence, "the character". What he lacks in talent (and he lacks quite a
bit, actually), he makes up for in personality.
Jason: But I do see a potential female contender
Gordon: I don't.
Chico: But other than that... well, let's take a look. Big board me.
Idol Class of 2012
Erika van Pelt
Chico: The category: Idol Class of 2012: The Favorites, the Also-Rans, and the
Gordon: Before you start...
Gordon: 1. No one sang great this past week. There were some good, but nothing
like what Scotty McCreery did right out of the gate last season.
Chico: That's because Scotty knew what he was going to do, who he was going to
do it to, and where he was going with it.
Gordon: 2. Memo to Eben and others. If you haven't hit puberty, don't even
think about singing a women's song. The results are freaky.
Chico: Not to mention a bit awkward.
Chico: Can I add on #3... You know who sings Adele well? Adele. Knock it off.
Adele is this year's Ray LaMontaigne. Everyone wants to try it, but once
everyone DOES try it, it gets cumbersome.
Gordon: Its the diva everyone wants to sing with the songs being way too big
Chico: Like a Whitney or a Mariah. Too bad Whitney's going to supply half of the
docket next week. That oughta be fun.
Jason: Big time.
Gordon: No, its going to be painful.
Chico: I meant "fun" in the pejorative, G. Like a root canal would be fun.
Gordon: Everyone's going to either A. Take the big note song which they won't be
able to hit or B. take a poppy a dance song and make it unmemorable. And it will
suck. I expect the men to have a far better time with Stevie Wonder, who didn't
have as big of a vocal range.
Chico: Nope, but he did have some lyrical hurdles.
Gordon: Last thought: I thought you had 'contender' in the women section because
the men underperformed and the women were better than planned. That doesn't make
them a contender yet.
Chico: But the good news is that we're starting with the challenges early. If
you remember, Scotty, as good as he was, was more or less a one trick pony.
Gordon: Keep in mind that part of that was because the producers let him stay in
that zone all competition
Chico: True. this year's lineup will not have that luxury. Speaking of, let's
analyze this year's lineup.
- Deandre Brackensick - San Jose, CA
- Hollie Cavanagh - McKinney, TX
- Colton Dixon - Murfreesboro, TN
- Heejun Han - Flushing, NY
- Jermaine Jones - Pine Hill, NJ
- Skylar Laine - Brandon, MS
- Joshua Ledet - Westlake, LA
- Shannon Magrane - Tampa, FL
- Phillip Phillips - Leesburg, GA
- Jeremy Rosado - Valrico, FL
- Jessica Sanchez - San Diego, CA
- Elise Testone - Mount Pleasant, SC
- Erika Van Pelt - South Kingstown, RI
Gordon: And what a set they are. Some deserve to be there because of the
singing, and a lot of them had some fun back stories.
Jason: Most do actually.
Chico: And then there are a lot of people who are just plain unique.
Gordon: For the right - or wrong - reasons.
Chico: Not going to say any of the blonde chicks are unique... because they're
all blonde chicks and I honestly can't tell the difference between one or the
other. Except for Skylar, who's the resident country chick.
Jason: And very good.
Chico: Quite good. Needs a little polish, though. Jessica Sanchez and Hollie
Cavanagh, a couple of half-pints with gallon-sized voices, I'm worried that one
will peak too early. I'm hoping my fears are unfounded.
Gordon: With the exception of Skylar and Jessica, I think the women are in
Chico: Especially given that they're up against Whitney. Good luck with THAT. As
for the guys, Jermaine Jones has the lowest voice of the guys... Deandre
Brackensick as the highest voice of the guys. Both are R&B soul singers. That's
a STARK contrast.
Gordon: They should do well. Colton and the country rockers are going to have
Chico: It's going to be a fun week to watch. If only to determine who has the
early advantage and who we'll forget 11 weeks on.
Gordon: Send in the clowns...oh wait, forgot about them.
Chico: Don't bother, they're here.... in last place.
Chico: I CALLED IT. I got one right!
Gordon: Whoo hoo!
Jason: YES :-)
Chico: We remain in Argentina for the leg... and Dave & Cherie had a bit of a
time with an auctioneer. The task was to give the total weight of cattle in a
pen, then from that calculate the average without a calculator. And Dave, bless
his heart, he's just trying everything until SOMETHING works. Let this be a
lesson, kids - pay attention to Mr. Klauss in math class.
Chico: They eventually get the clue when they are the last team to leave the
auction. Hence, they're eliminated.
Jason: And leave in a clown like exit
Chico: There's some sad things known to man, my friends, but ain't too much
sadder than... the tears of a clown.
Jason: (cue Smokey Robinson)
Chico: But it's not all cows and broken down buses. Army Rachel & Dave pick up
their SECOND consecutive 1st place finish and their second prize, a trip for two
to Grenada from the Traveling Gnomes at Travelocity. Good times.
Gordon: It is. What about some more good singing?
Chico: Why not? And the battle lines have been drawn. AT long last.
Chico: We have our four teams on The Voice. Here are your teams...
I Hear Voices:
Class of 2012
- TEAM ADAM: Tony, Kim, Angel, Pip, Katrina, Orlando, Nathan, Nicolle,
Karla, Mathai, Whitney, Chris
- TEAM BLAKE: Raelynn, Gwen, Jermaine, Erin, Lex, Jordis, Naia, Charlotte,
Jordan, Alyx, Brian, Adley
- TEAM CEE-LO: Juliet, Cheesa, Jamar, Sarah, Erin, James, Tony, Jamie,
Justin, Shields, Wade, Angie
- TEAM CHRISTINA: Jesse, Chris, The Line, Lindsey, Geoff, Moses, Jonathas,
Sera, Anthony, Ashley, Lee, Monique
Chico: This one's called I Hear Voices... Season 2.
TEAM ADAM: Tony Lucca, Kim Yarbrough, Angel Taylor, Pip Andrew, Katrina Parker,
Orlando Napier, Nathan Parrett, Nicolle Galyon, Karla Davis, Mathai, Whitney
Myer, and Chris Cauley.
Chico: You wanna know why the Voice is killing Idol? Because the Voice has more
TEAM BLAKE: Raelynn, Gwen Sebastian, Jermaine Paul, Erin Willett, Lex Land,
Jordis Unga, Naia Kete, Charlotte Sometimes, Jordan Rager, Alyx, Brian Fuente,
and Adley Stump
TEAM CEE-LO: Juliet Simms, Cheesa, Jamar Rogers, Sarah Golden, Erin Martin,
James Massone, Tony Vincent, Jamie Lono, Justin Hopkins, the Shields Brothers,
Wade, and Angie Johnson.
TEAM CHRISTINA: Jesse Campbell, Chris Mann, The Line, Lindsey Pavao, Geoff
McBride, Moses Stone, Jonathas, Sera Hill, Anthony Evans, Ashley De La Rosa, Lee
Koch, and Monique Benabou.
Chico: That's a team of 12 a piece. Up from eight last year. Because NBC has to
fill a Monday.
Gordon: They do. And we see a bunch of people we've seen (or heard) before. That
being said, it's not fair to grade, as most of these people won't make the live
Chico: That's what the battle round is for. My favorite part of the show, if
you ask me.
Jason: It does look like a wrestling ring
Chico: I was thinking boxing, but that's me. We run the gamut from the once-weres,
the has-beens, and the never-weres. It'll be interesting to see who comes out in
combat, because everyone basically starts from ZERO. You do what the coaches
tell you to do or you get cut. That simple.
Gordon: And like the first series, the judges are giving out good advice
Chico: And their mentors shouldn't disappoint either. I have some really high
hopes. Sot of like Jeopardy...
Chico: The Teacher's final was Justin Hofstetter's to lose... and he came from
ahead to lose it.
Jason: Lebron (CHOKE)
Chico: I was just about to say that. He had two strong games in the early
stages, but in the final, he just couldn't close.
Jason: He was on/off, on/off you know?
Chico: Yeah, but you add all the ons and the offs and you get a really big off
in the Final Jeopardy! stages. He just didn't have the right questions. For
example, Final Jeopardy! #1. The category... US MEMORIALS.
"No day shall erase you from the memory of time", from Virgil's "Aeneid", is
inscribed on a wall at this memorial.
Jason: No jokes here...this is the 09/11 Memorial
Gordon: it is, and I won't joke around here either.
Chico: That is correct. But the three of us and a few select trivia geeks were
the only ones who had it. Brooks Humphreys ends with $5800, Justin $4799, and
Patrick Quinn $5589. More or less an even playing field going into... Part 2!
Justin was back on his game with the lead in game #2 with $11,400 to $8400 for
Patrick. Brooks has $8600. Now Brooks and Patrick will have to bet against each
other. Justin only has to bet $4600 to overtake Brooks. Remember the Craig Rule:
You don't have to outrun the bear, just outrun the slower guy. BUT HE MUST BE
CORRECT. Otherwise, this rule will not hold. The category... THE 1960s. All I
know is "Jason Block was born here."
Gordon: That would be the 1860s
Jason: Ha ha ha.
Chico: The clue, for the dinette set.
On nominating this man in 1967, LBJ said "It is the right thing to do, the right
time to do it, the right man & the right place."
Jason: Who is Thurgood Marshall.
Gordon: Who is Richard Nixon?
Chico: NO COMMENT. :-)
Gordon: Oh come on. he made great headways in technology. Live eavesdropping
Chico: Hence, NO COMMENT.
Chico: Alright. One person DID have the right comment, and he ended up taking it
all. Patrick Quinn, get your hardware.
Chico: He's $100,000 richer and if he plays his cards right, he'll be plying for
$250,000 later on.
Jason: He has a shot...not good.
Chico: Not a good shot, but a shot.
Gordon: I think he's week 1 fodder, myself.
Chico: You say he's one of the six that doesn't make it out of quarterfinal?
Gordon: I do.
Chico: Fair enough.
Chico: One person he won't run up against... Mike Rowe.
Chico: The Dirty Jobs host and voice of many a Discovery show... and a Ford
owner, maybe.... was on the show this week to win money for his Mike Rowe Works
Jason: Not so much of a dirty job :-)
Chico: No, in fact, he cleans up. He makes it to level 2 and gets up to $250,000
when he sees THIS...
Cloned by European scientists in 1996, what breed of sheep was the world-famous
A: Delaine Merino
B: Finn Dorset
C: East Friesian
Gordon: I'm too sheepish to attempt to answer this question.
Chico: Oh. You're bad. I got this one... Let's think LATERALLY, shall we? Dolly
was cloned in the UK if I recall correctly.
Jason: Very much so
Chico: Rambouillet is French. Delaine Merino originated in the US, mostly for
wool for nice suits. See, I learned that from How I Met Your Mother.
Chico: Wait for it... DARY. East Friesian sheep originated in Germany. So that
leaves the most British sounding breed... the Finn Dorset. B is the final
answer. But Mike Rowe is happy to walk with $100,000.
Jason: A clean win.
Chico: Which can not be said for the Choppler, which hasn't been cleaned in
quite a bit.
Jason: YUCK! What is in there?
Chico: It's a home for hamsters and a cat. Take a guess.
Chico: Took one look at Heejun Han and indigested. You would've done the same
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage
Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your
frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico
Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)
Chico: Thanks, Doug. Doug Morris, the voice of Brainvision News.
Gordon: And we start with a BrainVision Date Book
This Friday, in what is either a really good move, or a major error in
we have The Ultimate Fighter on FX.
Chico: You have anew format, live fights and a new host in Paul Anik. We will
talk more about it at length on next week's show.
Jason: This is a MAJOR risk for FX. But wow it could be good.
Chico: Could be. I mean, it's good bar viewing.
Jason: Or before going out viewing
Jason: I was young once.
Gordon: You sure?
Chico: Come on, he's young. We're just a little younger, that's all. So that's
this week. Let's look into the crystal ball and get a greenlight.
What do "Let's Make a Deal", "Billy on the Street", and "Family Game Night" all
have in common?
Jason: I sense renewalage.
Chico: You sense correctly.
Gordon: Cheap to produce, don't need much in terms of ratings, and hence are
easy targets for renewal.
Chico: This will be season 4 for Deal, season 3 for Game Night, and season 2 for
Billy on the Street. All will return later in the year. I can't wait for TWO of them.
Jason: Same here lol
Chico: Meanwhile, I'm going to need a bat from the boneyard.
Jason: (hands Chico the bone shaped bat)
After 7 1/2 months on the Vegas strip, Name That Tune Live is going dark.
Jason: But there is a reason...
Chico: Do tell.
Jason: The rumor is that they MAY be shopping the show for a TV reboot.
Gordon: That would be nice.
Chico: It would be interesting. Though it seemed like they were shopping the
show around for a TV reboot since they cancelled Name That Video all that time
Jason: Is it the right time for it?
Chico: Given all the music on TV... I'd think so. That and Singing Bee is a big
hit, we're waiting for season 4 to start.
Gordon: For years, people have been trying to bring back a Name That Tune
revival. In fact, they almost had a deal between MTV VH1 and CMT a few years
Jason: I remember that.
Chico: Me too.
Gordon: Now do you also remember a few months ago, when we told you that if
you're on a reality show that is keeping people waiting for an outcome, that
it's not a good idea to do something in real life that reveals said outcome?
Chico: Hold on, I think I know where this is going...
Gordon: Where is it going, Chico?
Chico: On the smartboard.
Jason: What happened
Chico: As in ... Are You Smarter Than Courtney Robertson, who spends all of last
week shopping in Beverly Hills for a wedding dress?
Gordon: Right track, wrong train.
Gordon: Literally and figuratively.
Jason: exactly :-)
Chico: So where are we going, G?
Smarter than...The Bachelor's Ben Flanjik, who was allegedly caught in a
bar. stinking drunk, asking women out, and claiming he was single and he
wouldn't touch Courtney with a 10 foot pole?
Chico: This couple just gets creepier and creepier every day.
Jason: Do you think this is the jump the shark moment?
Chico: I want to say yes, but I know I'm wrong. You people are sick and you love
it like that
Gordon: I think you should prepare to stop using the word couple in a few weeks.
Jason: I give it....2 weeks after the show :-)
Chico: I give it 8 days
Gordon: I'll say 4 hours.
Chico: I could use some Haterade after that.
Jason: Wash the taste out of my brain.
Gordon: Sure. With Zombie Blood.
Remember the Search for the Next Oprah star? Well Oprah's show is not getting
greenlighted. No word on how the finalists are doing, but early ratings show
it's not good for them either.
Jason: OWN.....is a big fat failure.
Chico: It's one of those things that Oprah's fans are going to come at me and
say "It's really getting better. For reals this time."
Gordon: You may as well have called it 'Celebrity Beetle Counting with Oprah'
and it would have gotten more eyeballs
Chico: And would've probably been more entertaining. There are only so many
reruns of Dr. Phil we can stand.
Jason: They launched it all wrong and have been backtracking ever since.
Chico: Sounds like Oprah needs to get out and see the world.
And if she were in Vietnam, she could do that, as they become the next country
to launch their own "Amazing Race". Hosting it, "21 Jump Street" alum Dustin
Jason: Better job than cameoing in the new movie
Chico: Hey now. We haven't seen the new movie. We have no idea how bad it's
going to suck.
Gordon: Dustin and Johnny Depp cameo. They both get shot and killed. The End.
Gordon: I just saved you both $12.
Jason: thank you
Gordon: Now for more media hoes, watch this!
In this week's Media Ho Report, If you're a teen mom or bad girl - not a good
moth for you. Amber Portwood (Silent Library) and Gia (Next Top Model) get
arrested. So does George Clooney in a protest. Attica!
Gordon: But none of them is your HO of the Week.
Jason: Who is it?
Gordon: It's Tim Tebow. Tebow mania goes wild as Tim is asked to be on Wipeout
(declined), go Dancing With the Stars (declined), and be the next Bachwelor
Jason: Good for Tim.
Chico: I don't think Taylor Swift would approve anyway.
Jason: Just sayin.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes.
Jason: (comes in an Hazmat suit). Are we done?
Chico: One more. Let's get loaded.
Chico: Now you all remember the Millionaire game from Ludia for Facebook, right?
Not to be outdone, Sony is teaming up with 2waytraffic to launch one for the
international market. The prize money will be paid out in Facebook credit.
Chico: There's noting that say that it will be open to US players, but there's
nothing that says that it won't. We'll just have to wait and see.
Jason: That would be fun.
Gordon: Well it would be great to reward people in Facebook credit.
Chico: It really would.
Gordon: And that's BrainVision. shut it down
Jason: (Shutting Down)
Chico: Still to come, the world is wrong.
Jason: How many shades?
Chico: We'll see. But first, 12 dancers, one trophy. Who's got the skills to pay
Gordon: It's our really Big Board - Next!
Chico: You're burning the leather with WLTI. You give us 22 Minutes, we'll give
you 22 quips from Heejun Han's jokebook.
Jason: There are that many?
(Brainvision is powered by Celebrity Beetle Catching with Oprah, coming soon to
OWN. Celebrities! Beetles! OPRAH! You're about to watch and you don't even
HERE TO CONTINUE