Episode 29.9 - Fight Night
March 12

Chico: I'm Chico Alexander... and in the red corner, fighting out of Tenafly, NJ.... the Bracketologist.... Gordon... "G-Moneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey" PEPPER!
Gordon: Grrrrrr. Look at my eyes. I'm intimidating. Grrrr. SCARED YET?
Jason: Sort of. Yes.
Chico: And in the blue corner... fighting out of Fayetteville, NC... the Chairman... ... me!
Jason: LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!
Chico: *starts convulsing like a wild man*
Jason: You ready, Pepper?
Gordon: Ok it's a UNC Mascot being catapulted!
Chico: Look! Jeremy Lin's hitting on your sister!
Jason: WOO HOO!
Gordon: Look! Your sister has a Duke T-shirt on!
Jason: DAMN!
Chico: ... Okay, this metaphor's going nowhere fast. Let's just do this. Lots of stuff to go over, so from somewhere in America, it's FIGHT NIGHT!!! And WLTI... IS... ON!
Gordon: Yay! Gordon here, along with Chico and our special guest, Mr. Jason Block.
Jason: Great to be here.
Chico: Lots of stuff to go over, so we'll start with the big fight of the week... or should I say the big sixteen fights of the week. One of our favorites has a new home and a new attitude.
Gordon: It does. The Ultimate Fighter, which was on Spike for a number of years, has now found a homw on Friday nihgts on FX. It's being billed and pitched as UFC Friday Fight NIght, with some reality show thrown in.
Chico: Season 15 of The Ultimate Fighter Live drops on FX and we start with the fight-your-way-into-the-house rounds... all of which are LIVE.
Gordon: Well that's what I liked about it. It's no longer a reality feel anymore. It's now a sporting package - something you can see on a Saturday night instead of a PPV or an HBO boxing event.
Chico: Yeah, funny, but I rarely saw a reality show. It was more like the filler pieces they put into the fights of regular fight broadcasts, you know?
Gordon: And unfortunately, what was the greatest strength of the show - the ability to put together a reality package showing the personalilties of the fighters and selling the event on the fighter as well as the sport - is now gone.
Chico: I'm guessing that they're going to wait until the next episode to do that. Because, let's you're not going to care about 16 of the fighters in two hours.
Jason: Not at all.
Gordon: You won't. Similar to what we have said about American Idol over the seasons with the lack of personality on the contestants, Now I know the sport trumps all, but not when you're promoting it through a tv show.
Chico: It's TUF. It promotes itself.
Gordon: For now. Speaking of American Idol, we start with week #1, and one of us got it right as to who was leaving first.
Chico: Point, Gordon.
Jason: Big time
Gordon: ...oh yeah. That WAS me.



Chico: How can I put this... Jeremy just didn't sell us on the song.
Gordon: He didn't for the past 2 weeks and it seemed like the judges put him in because he was the likable guy.
Chico: And he was, but being likeable can only get you so far.
Gordon: And I think the judges saw that his days are numbered. Now this of course, stops the 'shocking upset', and also protects the judges from themselves, like using the save on Week #2 and letting Pia Tosacno exit, stage left.
Chico: The guys were singing out of the Stevie Wonder songbook, while the ladies paid tribute to Whitney Houstion. Ladies were against ladies, guys were against guys, with the lowest of each going against each other.
Gordon: Well you knew a guy was leaving also, just to even the odds.
Chico: Heh, yeah. Plus the judges want anyone other than Hot Guy With Guitar (TM) to win. The lowest lady... also sucked out loud, to her defense. That was Erika Van Pelt.
Jason: Yes she did.
Chico: Now... the questions: where do we go from here and who does Jeremy's ouster help?
Jason: Everyone but Philip on the guys side
Chico: Jeremy was a soul-stirring R&B singer. That helps out the OTHER soul-stirring R&B singers, like ... well, what Jason said.
Gordon: Jeremy was also a pop singer. I'm not sure how much that really helps, because I don't think he got a lot of votes to begin with.
Chico: But as you've seen time and again, every vote helps. But yeah, Phillip (and to a point Colton) is going to need some help.
Jason: Colton needs a lot of help....
Gordon: One Colton does - and one Colton doesn't. But his team may need some remedial lessons in gameplay



Chico: I mean, this had to be one of the biggest plays in Survivor history.... and also one of the dumbest.
Gordon: We'll be talking more about it, but what in the world were the guys thinking when they went to Tribal Council and gave up immunity in the process?
Jason: I have no clue.
Chico: They really must be desperate to get rid of someone. That someone being Bill.
Jason: If I were on the team, I would be saying HELL no.
Chico: So would I. Because, Survivor... SurvivAL...It's a game. If you're not here to play the game, get the hell out.
Jason: I would seriously be physically confrontational Hell no.
Gordon: Its dumb for a multitude of reasons. Hold on, this requires illustrations...

Chico: okay, go.
Gordon: The Subject: Why giving up immunity is NEVER a good idea. Ever. #1 You needlessly put yourself on the chopping block. #2. and more importantly, you save a buffer. Let's say the guys lose a bunch of challenges later on. They could easily dispatch the the junk later. Now what you're in effect doing is giving yourself no margin of error. So now if you lose a few, instead of getting rid of the junk, you're getting rid of vital parts of your alliance.
Chico: True times two.
Jason: Colton is Russell on crack. No social game, full of himself with a weak tribe.
Chico: I can see where Colton begins a downward spiral if he doesn't dial it down a few. I mean, there's game, and then there's too much game.
Jason: Yup. That's Colton.
Gordon: I agree with Jason. He is Russell on Crack, The catch is I don't think he's going to be around as nearly as long as Russell, because I think the women will boot him the first chance they get. The ladies think he's creepy. Creepy people don't last too long.
Jason: He the gay bff, the stalker dude and the bigot all rolled into one.
Chico: I'd keep him IF I had endgame in mind already. I mean, he's becoming That Guy. That Guy NEVER wins the million.
Jason: NEVER.
Gordon: It's wayyyyyyyyyy too early to think endgame.
Chico: True, but imagine keeping him around a bit.
Gordon: If I knew someone was in charge of a misfit alliance and I had the chance to get rid of him, I do so. I'm sure I can find other candidates to take with me to the finals.
Chico: I didn't see anyone else fighting for him, so I'm of the belief that as crappy as a move that was, and it was a CRAPPY MOVE... it was the correct one ultimately.
Jason: NO NO NO. NEVER the correct move.
Gordon: Terrible move.
Chico: You would NOT have gotten rid of Bill?
Jason: When I had immunity cleanly yes...like THAT? Hell no.
Gordon: You have to get rid of Colton the first chance you get. And Voluntarily going to Tribal for ANY reason is bad.
Chico: No one is arguing THAT.
Jason: You just were
Gordon: Besides, Bill's the wrong person to get rid of. He has no brains in his head. You had to get rid of the counter-alliance. That would be Leif.
Chico: Yes he has no brains in his head, hence the reason to get rid of him. I would NOT have given up immuntiy to do so however. That's just stupid.
Gordon: You keep Bill because he has no brains. He isn't a threat to you or anyone. You get rid of the threats.
Chico: No, but he's not helping out either.
Gordon: He just got you immunity. What more do you want?
Chico: Too early to think about threats.
Gordon: Never too early to think about threats.
Chico: True. But can he do that again?
Gordon: Give up immunity? He better not.
Jason: He would.
Chico: Probably.
Gordon: What about sing for his life in a duel?
Chico: I like it! Step up!



Chico: Battle Rounds are in full effect. This week, we saw six of them
Gordon: Anyone surprised by any of the battles?
Chico: I'm going to go with no on that one, G.
Jason: The opera singer surprised me a little
Chico: I liked the popera singer.
Jason: But yeah the winners were not shocking
Gordon: I liked popera, but that's not going to win.
Chico: Here's the rundown...Chris Cauley vs. Tony Lucca, the song "Beautiful Day" by U2.
Gordon: Lucca wins
Chico: I liked Tony in this duel. So did Adam. He wins easy. Second fight: RaeLynn vs. Adley Stump. The song: Tom Petty's "Free Fallin'" Another easy win for an early favorite. Blake picks RaeLynn to move forward. Probably because she reminds him of his wife.
Jason: Could be.
Gordon: Now now now. She got their on her own, thank you.
Chico: Who, Raelynn or Miranda Lambert? Heh. KIDDING!
Jason: (rimshot)
Chico: Next, Monique Benabou vs. Chris Mann. The song, Celine Dion's "The Power of Love". Chris Mann wins this one
Chico: Good stuff.
Gordon: Chessa crushes Angie Johnson on 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'
Chico: That was an easy decision. And so was this one.. Jordis Unga vs. Brian Fuente on "Ironic". Who was on Rock Star.... and who wasn't?
Gordon: Pretty much. Jordis advances. Finally, Jesse Campbell takes out Anthony Evans with 'If I Ain't Got You'
Chico: So can these six actually win?
Gordon: I think three of them can.
Jason: Who are?
Gordon: Jordis, Luca and Campbell. Beware the back story
Chico: I'll give you Lucca, and Campbell. I think there was a reason Jordis LOST Rock Star.
Jason: All the more reason to give her a potential shot.
Chico: She has a potential shot. She ALSO has one mark in the L column. We'll see how she does with the others in the coming weeks. Meanwhile, we have another two people in the loss column.



Jason: Ah yes. The twins.
Chico: The they-can't-be-twins-can-they? twins.
Jason: Rachel is still in it LOL
Gordon: So we still have twins alive in the race. :)
Jason: Oh you mean THOSE twins? :-)
Chico: Yeah, THOSE twins came in second. Elliot & Andrew were in too big of a hole to start... and they couldn't get out of it. The big kiss of death was a certain task. There was a Paraguayan bottle dance. You had to learn it, THEN perform it. That was the Roadblock.
Jason: And if you didn't do it before you broke all the bottles...TWO HOUR PENALTY.
Chico: That was a big hamper to a number of teams. Now the two teams in the back of the pack, the twins and Ralph & Vanessa, did manage to finish. So this turns into a race to the mat. Ralph & Vanessa stay, Elliot & Andrew pay.
Gordon: And sometimes that's all you need as a competitor is that one mistake
Chico: Yup.
Jason: That's been happening all season so far. 50 feet of missed Phil and this.
Chico: And it was that ONE mistake that cost Army Dave & Other Rachel their third first place finish. They took the penalty and ended up in sixth. Art & JJ take the lead and the leg.
Gordon: Silly way to take the penalty, but it's still a safe way to stay in the race.
Chico: Yep. They're not going to the Bahamas. And it's a shame, too. Atlantis has a hell of a casino.
Jason: Didn't they use their express pass?
Chico: They used the Express Pass on the Detour, which really didn't help matters. at all.
Jason: Not really no.
Gordon: No, but you don't know where the other teams are in relation to you, so it's a survival move. Unnecessary, but they are still around.
Chico: They can gain ground. They're smart. So is David Gard...until he stopped being smart.



Chico: Last Thursday, David had a chance to secure his place in the TOC and get over the 100,000 mark. Then he met... Tony Winning Musicals.

THESE 2 BACK-TO-BACK TONY WINNERS FOR BEST MUSICAL (1987 & 1988) WERE BOTH SET IN PARIS

Jason: Easy
Chico: Jason? How easy is it?
Jason: What are "Les Miserables" and "The Phantom of the Opera (which BTW...is STILL on Broadway almost 25 years later)
Chico: Gordon?
Gordon: What is Last Tango in Paris and Emmanuelle in Paris?
Jason: Hello. :-)
Gordon: I don't know about singing, but there was plenty of moaning with people doing other things with their bodies besides dancing. :D
Chico: and GOODNIGHT!
Jason: Don't forget the peanut butter.
Chico: Damn it all to hell, this is a family show! =p
Gordon: I don't think there were any families involved in those movies, but that would be really kinky.
Chico: OKAY! So, David knew ONE, but he did not know the other. In fact, the only one that knew both was Jessamine Price, and for two games now, the Price.... was right.
Jason: BOOOOOO
Chico: Shush.
Gordon: waa waa waaaaaa
Chico: ... At least Eve likes my jokes, don't you E... hey! Watch the claws!
Jason: Didn't you get them clipped?
Chico: Yeah, like.... last ... year
Jason: Year? Don't you remember the hospital scene in the movie Machete?
Chico: ... no.
Jason: He used a belt and 5 surgical cutters to make a knife hand a la Freddy Krueger
Gordon: That's sort of like what Eve's paw looks like. Or like the killer in Girl's Nite Out.
Chico: Fine. Jason, can you help me out with this kitty?
Jason: Here, Eve...easy girl Yipe :-)
Gordon: (Gives Jason a Falconer's Glove). Here, that should help.
Jason: (puts the Glove on)
Chico: Wear your hockey mask.
Jason: (puts the hockey mask on)
Chico: Gordon, can you help me out with the news?
Gordon: Roll That Beautiful Brain Footage.

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: We start with a greenlight and it's been THE NEWS all week. Who here remembers Nick's "Figure It Out"?
Jason: I do. 90's classic
Gordon: Great show. Nice spin on I've Got a Secret

Nick has ordered a new series of the show for 40 episodes. Jeff Sutphen will play the Summer Sanders role.

Chico: They hit gold with Brainsurge. I see no reason why the streak can't continue.
Jason: I have zero problem with the game.
Chico: Right.
Jason: I have zero problem with the host. BUT...
Jason: Couldn't they have found someone else to host this?
Chico: I thought about that....
Gordon: I disagree with both of you. Sutphen is a very good host.
Jason: He is. I didn't say he wasn't. I am just saying a little bit of OVEREXPOSURE....that's all.
Gordon: I think he has the right chemistry here. And you want to push you're own, as long as he doesn't put himself over the game.
Jason: If you can make Sutphen a Marc Summers type...more power to him
Gordon: You don't need him to be Marc Summers. you need him to be Jeff. He'll be fine. This is a GOLD STANDARD. You want someone you can trust. You do not want a greenhorn hosting this.
Jason: I have some great panelist ideas
Chico: So do I.
Jason: You get the doofy brother from Icarly
Chico: Check. At least one member of Big Time Rush...
Gordon: Well they always rotate the panel, so you could have all of them.
Jason: Spencer Shay and maybe True Jackson
Chico: ... and if he's still available... Kenan Thompson.
Jason: Keke Palmer
Chico: He appears a lot on 90s Are All That bumps.
Jason: Throw in Jeanette McCurdy and maybe even Miranda Cosgrove or Victoria Justice, and a couple of WWE people
Chico: The Miz ... IF HE'S AVAILABLE
Jason: And you have a winner. And maybe Amanda Bynes for old time's sake. BTW...this has PLATINUM written all over it.
Chico: You're waiting with bated breath on this, aren't you?
Jason: Are you kidding? This was one of the best Nick Game Shows of all time.
Chico: Anyway, if you are or have a 10-15 year old with a strange or unique talent, you can go to Nick.com/FigureItOut to submit it for approval.
Gordon: I agree. This could be a smash hit. Of course we have other potential smash hits coming up on the datebook...

Cupcake Wars shows up on Tuesday, Fashion Star on Thursday, and Unchained Reaction on Sunday. And Newlywed Game and Baggage resume their season run (either that or their Death March to the sea) on GSN.

Gordon: What about flying instead of marching?
Chico: I like flying.
Jason: Me too.
Chico: Unfortunately I don't like THIS trip

Sad news out of Australia this morning, as the longtime host of "The Price Is Right", "Blankety Blanks", "Supermarket Sweep" and "Press Your Luck", Ian Turpie passed.

Jason: Cancer took him at 68. He was married for 44 years had 3 kids and 3 grandkids.
Chico: And he's kind of a big deal.
Gordon: Can I have a moment of silence please?

(silence)

Chico: Thank you. Now back to mayhem. (wheels in smartboard)

Are YOU Smarter than...Bill from Survivor. For the obvious reasons mentioned earlier. Easily ranks as one of the dumbest moves ever.

Jason: What about the entire tribe for succumbing to it?
Chico: Judges?

(DING)

Jason: Thank you :-)
Gordon: And now for the Haterade.
Jason: (puts down cup)
Gordon: Now you all know about the Kim Kardashian wedding and how most people think that Kim did it just to make money for TV, right?
Chico: Right here.
Jason: Hello! Yes.

Kris Humphries, the hubby involved, seems to agree - to the point that he'll forget about the whole marriage thing - for 7 million, If not, he's ready to A. Get a nasty divorce and go over her ass...ets, and B. sue her for slander in terms of the video editing.

Chico: This is getting ugly
Jason: Yipe.
Gordon: Very. Kim may need to get fully loaded - in more ways than one.
Jason: HIC

Tim Tebow is taking to his Twitter for one reason... to put any and all talk about his availability for "The Bachelor" to an end.

Chico: Spoiler alert: NO.
Jason: Great IDEA...but he's a virgin dude. And would he want to hit...well...THEM?
Chico: See above comment.
Gordon: He was last week's Media Ho of the week. Anyone want to see who this week's ho is?
Jason: I do.
Chico: We need a proper warmup though. (plays "Pimpin' All Over the World")

In this week's Media Ho Report, Ali Fedotowsky is going to be on 'First Look', Paul McDonald (Idol) and Nikki Reed star in a video, Mike Fleiss gets a divorce - which makes him a Bachelor. Chico can insert a joke here.

Chico: He probably wants to bang a media ho.
Gordon: And thank you.

Adam Levine has a fragrance, Russell Hantz gets Flipped, Dick Clark's house is on the market...Bobby Flay wants restaurant entrepreneurs, Assssstro debuts with Pharrell Williams (who I like a lot by the way), and Ben Flajnik gets accused of cheating. Again.

Chico: AGAIN?
Jason: shocker.
Gordon: But none of them is your ho of the week.
Chico: Not even Ben? Just seems textbook.
Gordon: Oh no. This is a million dollar ho
Chico: Ooh.
Gordon: your Ho is Britney Spears, who The X Factor wants and is offering...10 million dollars.
Jason: OH BOY
Gordon: Here's the catch. Britney said no, I want TWENTY million dollars.
Chico: How about no. Is NO good for ya?
Jason: She'll get it.
Gordon: I agree with Jason. Britney will get her money. And those...are your hoes.
Chico: And that's brainVision, Shut it down
Jason: (shutting it down)
Gordon: 'When we come back, we Zing, but first..Chico?
Chico: First... heads on a stick.
Gordon: You're reading WLTI, you give us 22 minutes, and we'll give you 22 million dollars...that we wouldn't give Britney Spears to host any musical show.
Chico: Too rich for my blood.
Gordon: No tengo dinero.

(BrainVision has been brought to you by Think Like a Baby. If you can guess what cat food a bay will pick, you'll win ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!!,,,,and we'd be sued for child endangerment. But hey, it's good for business.)

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