Episode 29.3 - Hitting The Big Time
January 23

Chico: Hey there internet, I'm Chico Alexander.... and THIS.... IS.... Gordon Pepper. :-)
Gordon: (Waves at the crowd)
Chico: We call him Mr. Steal Your Girl, too.
Gordon: I'm no Ryan Seacrest...but I'm close.
Chico: Yeah, you're both blonde-ish. You're both... short...
Gordon: He makes only around 15 million more than I do. Despite that, we're THAT close.
Chico: You could be brothers.
Gordon: Sure. But we're not here to talk about Ryan - or his money, but we'll be talking about a lot of different stuff though.
Chico: So let's do it. From somewhere in America... WLTI... is.. ON! A lot to go over, so we'll start with the 10th anniversary season of Gordon's favorite talent show in the history of everything ever... American Idol. Thoughts on season one-one, G?
Gordon: Well the good news is - they are keeping their focus on the good singers and not the bad ones. I also think the guys are very strong out of the gate. We may have already seen 2 major players in the form of Eben and Reed.
Chico: I could add David Leathers Jr. to that list. He's young, looks and sounds like Michael Jackson, that's worth a few votes from the girls right there.
Gordon: I hated the pitch. I don't think him or outdoor camper girl Aubrey get too far
Chico: Nah, I don't hold out hope for Occupy Idol there. But the internet's already calling favorites. A good sign?
Gordon: It is, but if you notice the favorites are all male. That's a bad sign.
Chico: It almost always starts out that way. Seems like a lot of the favorites are all male. Someone breaks out a guitar and next thing you know, they're standing at Nokia with the trophy. Do you happen to remember any of the girls who stood out?
Gordon: Yes but for the wrong reason. Anna, the daughter of the baseball pitcher, because Steven Tyler got lewd. And that's a problem - the women seem to be getting in via their looks and not the talent
Chico: That'll be a really big problem. Especially if some of them go through. The battlefield is littered with ladies who had the vocal chops, but didn't really look the part. It really sucks. But that's the nature of the beast. So a lot of good things and a lot of bad things coming out of week one. I happen to have the final numbers, then I want to play a little game with you. The story isn't so much that Idol was the #1 show of Wednesday and Thursday, it was that Idol lost a quarter of the audience. Wednesday's show brought in 21.61 million, with a rating of 7.2 in the A18-49. Thursday's show, only an hour long, gets 17.74 million, with a rating of 5.6 in the A18-49.
Gordon: It's still huge, but as the audience will tell you last season, Jennifer and Steven aren't Simon and Paula
Chico: Comparatively... NO ONE watches the audition. They're all waiting for the live shows. Now I'm going to give you three legitimate concerns about why the audience dropped so much and you tell me whether they're indeed legitimate or not. A little Micro-Accuracy or Idiocy.
Gordon: ok
Chico: First of all... a lack of preseason buzz. You remember last season the big story was shaking up the panel and the process. This season, not so much.
Gordon: Idiocy. Idol is Idol There was no preseason buzz during the Simon Cowell era.
Chico: Agreed. When you have a good product, it sells itself. And everyone knows what they're in for, even without the buzz, so why bother.
Gordon: Right
Chico: Second... Trending. The show reached its audience peak in 2007, but has been sliding ever since.
Gordon: Accuracy. and that has to do with the lack of winner success.
Chico: Except for last year's winner who's been making noise on the country charts, but little else besides. Jury's still out on him. But yeah. Who won in 2007? Jordin Sparks. The last champion worth her salt basically?
Gordon: Agreed.
Chico: Finally... the other guys. With the advent of "The Voice", "The X Factor", and "The Sing-Off"... is there a chance that maybe we're all sung out?
Gordon: Idiocy. The Sing Off was put during the Winter, which was a no no. The Voice was a nice hit for NBC - but putting it against Idol? Really? Why?
Chico: It's NBC. Do they have a choice? I mean, they could easily sit on it until April like they did last season. But they have the Super alternative to Bowling... and they're going to take advantage of it. And you could say that "X Factor" was a non-factor.
Gordon: I will
Chico: Again, Idol is Idol. It'll continue to be the big pink elephant in the room until someone can knock it off its perch. Putting the Voice on Monday against CBS's resurgent comedy block and ABC's Dancing... Only bad things can happen. Which sucks because I like the Voice.
Gordon: I do too. NBC needs a lot of help and there's many things they could do with The Voice. That's not one of them.
Chico: Well, we'll talk more about Idol in the coming weeks, including the show after the NFC Championship. GIANTS, BABY.
Gordon: We will. What's next up?
Chico: While we're talking about returning shows. Let's go swimming in the Shark Tank.
Gordon: Glub Glub Glub
Chico: Kevin, Daymond, Barbara, Robert, and your mortal enemy Mark Cuban are back for season #3.
Gordon: Maybe you like the show a lot more than I do, but I can see the pull of it - people making lots of money over inventions they created.
Chico: Oh yeah, and a lot more people are actually being drawn in.
Gordon: Friday nights, usually seen as a TV wasteland, is actually a good place for the show
Chico: Very good. We start season 3 with a guy who's seeking $60,000 in exchange for... five percent. You know what he's going to get for five percent? LAUGHED AT.
Gordon: One thing you've seen from these Sharks - if they want something, they want the majority of it.
Chico: And he even has a mascot. It's a water bottle that screws from the bottom AND the top. There's a joke in there. Anyway, if I was Kevin O'Leary, I'd say "Lose the mascot, he's a business expense." But then he takes off the head and it's Bill FREAKING Walton. Now, you can't have Bill Walton, but we can offer a few tips to those willing to swim with the Sharks... even as the amount of MBA worthy credit hours between Gordon and myself can add up to... ZERO. Big Board, please.

Chico: The kids are calling this one "Shark Bait". First game plan... Don't expect to leave with more than 50%. If you do, and you fight for that percentage, you're going to get a golden boot up your behind and a thanks-for-playing.
Gordon: Though you will leave with 100%
Chico: Remind me what 100% of nothing is again?
Gordon: A cameo on a reality show.
Chico: Second, remember that the offer is speculative. You're valuing your business. Say you go into the tank with a request for $100,000 for a 5 percent stake. You're saying your business is worth $5 million. Honestly, who's start up is worth $5 million? Anyone?
Gordon: You have to realistically ask yourself - how much is your idea worth?
Chico: You may want to lowball a bit.
Gordon: Don't massively highball it, but go high a little bit and have negotiating room
Chico: I'll meet you half-way. Lowball the offer, high ball the percentage.
Gordon: That would work. #3. Realize you're getting screwed. That's the risk you run when you're here.
Chico: The sooner you realize that, the better.
Gordon: Finally, #4. They know more than you do, If it's remotely in the ballpark, take the deal.
Chico: Take the deal and be done with it It's a simple numbers game. They have more.
Chico: As a result, of these hints, we go two for four on the opening night. And ABC gets 6.23 million with 1.7 in the demo, which for 8pm Friday night is NOT BAD.
Gordon: NBC would love those numbers on any night
Chico: Especially a Thursday night at 10 when they placed EIGHTH.
Gordon: Yipes.
Chico: Who places eighth?
Gordon: Apparently, NBC does, Maybe they need some love
Chico: Yep. Let's give'em some.



Chico: Who here likes Chinese food?
Gordon: I do. So do some Biggest Loser contestants - but not all of them.
Chico: Apparently Joe doesn't like Chinese food.
Gordon: Well we get our second 'I Quit' of the season, as Joe bails out.
Chico: As Joe quits, Nancy, his partner, will lose this week's weigh-in as well. So if you're playing a couples season, you're playing for two, you have to remember that.
Gordon: Yes. and Lauren will remember that as she gets booted off.
Chico: But that's not all.
Gordon: Next week, the team eliminated on Week #1 has a chance to get back on the ranch.
Chico: Adrian & Daphne, yes. That'll be interesting to watch. Also interesting to watch... Tattoo artists and pigs.
Gordon: And I'm not talking Stereooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Hogs
Chico: These are deaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad pigs.
Gordon: Oink...er...croak
Chico: And they are the subject of the first entry of the great tattoo wars of 2012... Ink Master.
Chico: Now people have been getting inked for well over 5000 years. And it's more than just gun with a needle and some coloring on it. There's an art, there's a science, there's a focus to it. Now I've never had a tattoo...thought about it a few times.
Gordon: Would you want one from any of the contestants?
Chico: Maybe. We have 12 of the best and brightest in the field today. Basically if you can think it, they can ink it.
Gordon: The good - they know their craft.
Chico: I guess you can say the good is the goods. They brought'em. Also good, the fact that everyone knows their stuff.
Gordon: What do you think of our judges and host?
Chico: Definitely qualified. They look the part at least. Dave Navarro, he's had the experience as host, judge, and living spectacle.
Gordon: They look the part. And they are semi-entertaining and not too over the top.
Chico: They're just right on the money.
Gordon: Navarros prior tv experience definately helps him here
Chico: And they know their craft. And if you are into the tattoo world, you know who Oliver Peck is. He's not just a rock star, he's a rock GOD. So we have contestants who are ambitious, judges who are knowledgeable... EXCEPT ...The bad: if you've seen any occupational reality competition on television, YOU'VE SEEN INK MASTER.
Gordon: Ink Chef!
Chico: Two challenges: one Flash Challenge to test basic skills and compete for an advantage in the elimination tattoo.
Gordon: Top Tattoo!
Chico: And the prize for the winner, $100,000 and a spread in Ink Magazine.
Gordon: Project Ink-way?
Chico: That's enough. One more and you're getting a Mike Tyson tribal mark on your Gerber baby face.

	INK MASTER Spike - 10p ET Tuesdays
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	C	C+	C+

Gordon: Ok Then. So it's a good clone, BUT it's a clone. C for Clone.
Chico: C+. The plus is for "Good". We have a second premiere of the week, and it's intriguing if you're into sports. You're probably wondering what "The Big Time" is all about. Truth be told... so are we.
Gordon: Well, it's about 3 people trying to live their dream. It's on ABC sports, and the first dream on the shoe from ABC SPORTS is to be...a singer. Am I missing something here?
Chico: Precisely my point. It was marketed as a sports-dream-fulfillment contest. And the first show we get is about music.
Gordon: Its good music. But...music? Really?
Chico: So I was watching preparing myself for Pros vs. Joes part 2... and I end up with Platinum Hit part 2.

	BUD UNITED PRESENTS THE BIG TIME ABC - 2p ET Saturdays
	GORDON	CHICO	AVERAGE-O-MATIC
	D	D	D

Gordon: and it has the same entertainment values. D.
Chico: D. It's a show that doesn't really know what it wants to be. Talent? Sports? Fear Factor? Chopped? Come on, ABC, throw me something here.
Gordon: What about if I throw you this...



Chico: ... divided by 10.
Gordon: one hundred thooooouuuuuuusand dollars.
Chico: Let's rewind to Tuesday's edition of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
Chico: Marnie Hazelton of Freeport, NY has $40,600. That's hers to keep if she decides to bail out over the next four questions, because it's time for CLASSIC MILLIONAIRE!
Chico: For $100,000...

[$100,000]
Canada's Simon Fraser University made headlines in 2009 by introducing what educational innovation?
A: A major in "Everything"
B: A library with no books
C: An all-female football team
D: A grade worse than "F"

Gordon: E. A Swedish Co-ed Bikini Team.
Chico: Ya, is good.
Gordon: Ill guess D
Chico: You'll guess D. You'd be right. The grade is actually an "FD", which is "failure for academic dishonesty".
Chico: Marnie guesses B... which would just be a giant room with computers and tables, and what college DOESN'T have one of those?
Gordon: Well logically, it could be an internet library...but it's not.
Chico: It's not. Marnie leaves with $25,000, but hey, nice try. And I think Drew the bookworm has an objection to the last question... No books, no bookworms, he says.
Gordon: Fascinating, no?
Chico: No comment.
Gordon: I should roll that Beautiful Brain footage shouldn't I?
Chico: You really should.
Gordon: Ok then

(Doug: Live, local, and latebreaking... From the four corners of the globe to your frontal lobe, this is WLTI Brainvision News, and now here's Gordon Pepper, Chico Alexander, and the award-winning Brainvision News Team)

Chico: Thanks, Doug. Let's start with the Datebook and Tuesday's opening day... for baseball trivia.

Baseball Trivia on Tuesday. Battle of the Exes on Wednesday care of MTVs The Challenge

Chico: A little Baseball IQ. A little Real World/Road Rules. EVERYONE wins.
Gordon: Well since we're tslkiong baseball, have a bat. (gives Chico a bat)
Chico: Don't mind if I do.

You remember Best Ink on Oxygen, right? It was supposed to premiere next week, but Spike got the jump on'em? Well, it's been moved to the end of March. March 27, to be exact.

Chico: Meanwhile, we have the return of the J! Teachers Tournament in February, and a greenlight...

Discovery has greenlit "Unchained Reaction", where teams of various degrees will compete to create impressive large-scale Rube Goldberg devices. The show is hosted/judged/produced by the Mythbusters.

Gordon: I like the idea of the show. It's going to be about the execution.
Chico: That would be Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman. This'll drop in March, we'll see how this is going to work.
Gordon: We will. However, we can also see how people don't work.
Chico: Hoo boy. (brings in smart board)

Are YOU smarter than...Kasey Kahl, who got arrested in Fresno for being Drunk and Disorderly

Chico: Yes. Next question?
Gordon: Heh., Now for some Haterade. Now this was going to be the poopstorm that could be Heidi Klum and Seal's relationship, but we have breaking news, and if you're a game show fan, its not good.
Chico: (window breaking)
v
GSN laid off a dozen members for reasons unspecified. When you have a group company layoff, that usually means the company isn't doing too good.

Chico: Well, let's put things in their proper perspective. GSN spent a you-know-what-load of cash to put Dancing with the Stars on the air and there hasn't been an original episode of an original series in ages. What does that tell you? Nothing's coming in and nothing's going out.
Gordon: More is coming out than what's going in
Chico: It's a sad state of affairs.
Gordon: A bunch of people need to get fully loaded
Chico: (hic)
Gordon: (fart)

Now, in a time when everyone is dying from Etta James to Joe Paterno, you'd think Chris Daughtry was immune from premature death rumors. Not if you went to Wikipedia.

Gordon: BAD Wikipedia
Chico: The Price Is Right celebritestant and Idol alum tweeted...

"Oh Wikipedia, The source of all things true. Haha! NOT!! I'm NOT dead, I don't even own an apartment AND my birthday is NOT Jan 14th!"

Chico: Truth by consensus. So to reiterate... Jon Bon Jovi... Alive. Chris Daughtry... Alive... Joe Paterno... dead... Etta James... dead. Hope that clears things up. For more media hoes, here's Gordon (plays "At Last")
Gordon: At laaaaaaaaaast. The hoooooeeees are coming uuuuuuup...
Chico: Very nice.

In this week's media Ho report, The Hoff does Australian Apprentice, Pay Sajak goes Around the Horn, Astro and Marcus Canty sidn with Epic...

Chico: AND Chris Rene.

Gina Carano (Crush on American Gladiators) goes Haywire, Regis and KLathie Lee show up on The Today Show, Simon Cowell says he got too arrogant in 2011...Ryan is being offere a lot of money from Nigel Lythgoe to stay on Idol, Brittney leaves The Bachelor and Emily Maynard is the new Bachelorette in a move that's sure to both sink the series and Chico's testosterone.

Chico: I'm out.
Gordon: But none of them are your HO of the week.
Chico: Who's on your ho-dar this week?
Gordon: Your ho is Jennifer Lopez, J-Ho, in addition to Idol, is on Q'Viva with Marc Anthony, making her the first celebrity in a while to have the #1 show on 2 different continents.
Chico: In two different languages. Though working with your ex... AWK-ward.
Gordon: And those...are your hoes
Chico: And finally, let's go global.

Two of our favorites from across the pond are getting renewed. Those being "Pointless" and "The Bank Job". Both from Remarkable Television, both will get a platform at MIPTV later this year.

Gordon: They sure are. Try to catch the episodes on YouTube. And that's Brainvision. Shut it down.
Brobot: I'm an American Sound Machine (shuts BrainVision down)
Chico: Yes. Yes you are. Still to come, it's good judge vs. bad judge. But first... we get our libations from the bar. Pick Your Poison is on the other side of the break.
Gordon: You're reading WLTi. You give us 32 minutes, and we'll give you 22 yards of turf that the Giants need to win tonight.
Chico: GIGANTES.

(BrainVision has been brought to you by 4th and too long. Whatever happened in PA, we lost a great coach in Joe Paterno, Rest in Peace.)